


Broken Open

by Gina_Marie



Category: QAF USA
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-29
Updated: 2012-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 291,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gina_Marie/pseuds/Gina_Marie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian owns a private detective agency. Justin's an ex-cop from NYC looking for a change. Both have pasts that are about to catch up with them. What happens when their paths cross and their destinies entwine. This is an AU story with our favorite characters. I hope you enjoy, this is a new venture for me and I've no idea where it's going!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_  
**Upate New York….Two days before Valentines Day**   
_

 

 

Mark Stanford reached out with a glove-clad hand and gently brushed away the fresh fallen snow from the cold marble headstone. An arctic gust of wind swept over him forcing him to pull up the collar to his overcoat even as he welcomed the wintry chill. It had been a very long, emotionally draining day.

 

“Oh Conrad…” He sighed deeply.

 

The funeral ended hours ago. The reception was still going on at their house but Mark couldn’t bear to be there any more. He couldn’t bear one more _‘It was a beautiful ceremony.’_. Or _‘You did the right thing…’_ or the worse of them all _‘He’s in Gods’ hands now.’_

 

Gods’ hands? Really? Is that where he was…? He wondered cynically. According to most of those hypocritical bastards back at his house, that was the last place Conrad would be. Fags weren’t allowed in Heaven. So the Catholic Church preached. And Conrad was Catholic. A vice Mark was willing to over look because Conrad had so many other redeeming qualities. But ironically, despite their family’s bigoted beliefs, this was one time Mark had to agree with them. Conrad was not in Heaven. He was still alive.

 

Mark stepped back from the empty grave and shoved his hands in his pocket, feeling the folded piece of paper that lay within.

 

“Where the hell are you Conrad? I know you’re not dead. I would feel it if you were. How did we come to this?….” Mark’s words drifted away on the cold gale in search of answers he feared he’d never get.

 

He shook his head at his own morose musings and steeled his resolve. He would not allow doubt to cloud his thinking Conrad was alive, and Mark would find him, and bring him home.

 

Never did he let the possibility that his lover might be lost to him forever enter his thoughts. Mark loved Conrad more than life itself. He was the very air he breathed and there wasn’t a day that went by that Mark didn’t celebrate his life. A life he knew in his heart and soul, his lover still possessed. And Conrad shared the same amount of devotion to him up until the day several weeks ago when a reckless drunken driver rammed into the side of his car sending it crashing into the river. The day Marks world as he knew it came to an abrupt halt.

 

A search party convened immediately that consisted of just about everyone with in a fifty mile radius. They dragged the river around the clock for days yet Conrad’s body was never found. In the end, it was determined by the authorities that Conrad was dead. His body probably washed out into the ocean.

 

But instead of being disheartened by their failure to find Conrad’s body, Mark was encouraged. He refused to believe his lover had perished in that accident. He knew Conrad was alive. He believed it so strongly that no one, not his family or friends, could convince him other wise. When everyone else gave up looking, Mark started his own search.

 

First he hired professional divers to search the river again from one end to the other. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the local authorities but they only had so many resources to devote to one case. Mark had to be certain before he continued. When they too found nothing, it confirmed Marks suspicious, that Conrad had somehow survived the crash and was out there somewhere. He then started phase two of his search and hired a private investigator to find his lover…and then he hired another and another…. Each came back with the same report, no body, and no trace of Conrad’s existence. And each time they came back with that report, Mark fired them, then hired another. He never gave up hope.

 

Days turned into weeks, weeks to months and all this time, his family kept nagging him to have a burial ceremony for Conrad. They said his partners’ soul couldn’t rest in peace because Mark refused to accept his death. It was “Gods’” will after all. Again Mark scoffed at their ridiculous beliefs’. In the end however he relented, but not for their sakes, for his own. Staging this fake funeral made him sick but it accomplished one thing. It kept his family off his back. They now thought he had finally accepted his loss and would move on. He would move on alright, but in his search, and without them looking over his shoulder every minute wondering when the day would come when he would ‘finally crack’.

 

Mark wasn’t crazy, he was determined. How could he expect anyone to understand the kind of connection he and Conrad had? They didn’t understand it themselves, but it was there. Still there. That connection wasn’t broken. It was as strong as ever, which made Mark more convinced that Conrad was alive, and he needed to find him. The only question now was how to proceed.

 

Mark was running out of money and options. Actually, there was only one option left to him. One that under any other circumstance he would never have considered but desperate times….

 

“I know you wouldn’t approve Conrad, but we have no choice.” Mark spoke into the cold night air.

 

“He’s the only one who can help us now. He won’t give up where the others have, and yes, I know it’s cruel to use him like this, but it’s been a long time. He’s a man now. Surely he can’t still be bitter. He’ll help us. And if he doesn’t, I’ll do what ever it takes to get him to. I’ll beg if I have to, I’ll even…” Mark took a deep breath unable to voice what lengths he would go to in order to find his lover.

 

The air grew more frigid as the sun started to set but Mark was oblivious to sudden drop in temperature. He pulled the piece of paper from his pocket and looked at the address again. 254 Liberty Avenue, Pittsburgh PA. His flight was already booked, his decision made. Come tomorrow night he’d be on a flight bound for Pittsburgh.

 

“I know you’re out there Conrad Thackeray Callahan.…” He said reading the name off the headstone.

 

“And I will find you. I swear it. No matter what it takes.” Mark vowed.

 

He took one last look at the empty gravesite then, with renewed purpose, he turned to leave. All hope now lay in one man’s hands. A man whose name neither he nor Conrad had spoken out loud in over ten years….

 

Brian Kinney.

 

 

 _Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania….Valentines Day_

 

 

“Be nice to me Tina. You’re going to be seeing a lot more of me around here from now on. No one makes a cappuccino like you. Besides, I’m a great tipper.” The beautiful blonde man teased.

 

Tina gave him a rueful smile.

 

“When am I not nice?!” She inquired coyly.

 

“Um, when you’re not dropping everything to take my order.” The handsome young man teased back.

 

“That’s because she’s working on my order Blondie. I was here first and I’m a better tipper.” An arrogant, yet sexy voice drawled from a table by the window at the far end of the cafe.

 

Justin turned curious eyes to the source of the ‘voice that smoldered’ only to be disappointed when his gaze landed on an oversized newspaper the man was holding up obscuring Justin’s view. Fucking NY Times he thought. And who the fuck reads the NY Times in Pittsburgh anyway?!

 

 

He turned his attention back to the waitress and rolled his eyes at the pretentiousness of the man. Tina laughed.

 

“That’s right he was here first.” She affirmed with a bit of censure in her voice that was belied by the wink she sent Justin’s way.

 

“Yeah, but will he be taking you out on the town tonight?” Justin asked slyly extending the ‘implied’ invitation as he flashed the waitress one of his million watt smiles.

 

“No I won’t be. And neither will he Tina. Well, not to any part of town you’d be interested in, isn’t that right Blondie?” The man asked as he lowered his paper.

 

Justin’s breath caught in his throat as he got his first glimpse of the man behind the paper. He had to blink several times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. The man was beyond gorgeous! It was like looking into the face of God….

 

Brian smirked at the young mans’ reaction. He was all too familiar with that look, the one that said, _‘I want him’_. Men and women often looked at him like that. It was a common occurrence; one Brian had grown immune to over the years. Or so he thought. But there was something about the way this particular blonde was looking at him that made his blood grow hot, and his dick hard. Yes there was lust in young mans’ gaze, but beneath the desire there was something else. Something he didn’t see too often in the eyes of his admires. Intellectual curiosity. Blondie was sizing him up, the man, and not just the ‘walking wet dream’ as so many of his tricks had dubbed him.

 

He must be new in town, Brian surmised. He’d have noticed him before if he wasn’t. Someone that unique, not to mention hot, wouldn’t get past Brian’s radar. He was always on the prowl for something or someone new or out of the ordinary, anything to distract him… yet he’d always come up short. Up until now that was. Blondie was anything but ‘ordinary’. And he was totally distracting. In a positive life affirming way. Exactly what Brian needed; affirmation of life…

 

The blonde beauty had caught Brian’s attention the moment he walked through the cafes’ door. He had a very youthful appearance, yet Brian doubted he was as young as he looked. Again, the eyes told a different story then the ‘persona’ he was exuding. He had a great body, lithe yet firm. It was evident he worked out yet he wasn’t muscular, (the way Brian usually preferred his men). He was probably into Tai chi or yoga. In either case, it worked for him. There was a quiet strength about him that was intoxicating. But it wasn’t his firm, svelte body that interested Brian the most. It was his ass. He had what looked like a perfect fucking ass encased in those cargo pants. Or more accurately, Brian mused wryly, a perfect ass to fuck. Add to that his porcelain skin, white blonde hair and amazing crystal blue eyes and it was enough to spike Brian’s interest to code Red. Which, in Kinney language, meant he’d have him before the day was out.

 

“Probably not. But would you be interested?” Justin boldly returned the question once he recovered from his daze at witnessing what he perceived as perfection personified.

 

The man was _that_ good looking, Justin thought. Almost too good looking. From his perfect sculptured features, smoldering hazel eyes and sensual lips that begged to be kissed, to the way his designer clothes hugged his firm body, as if they were tailored to fit his frame. Which, Justin surmised, they probably were. He was stunningly beautiful, a living work of art. Yet there was something there, something hidden beneath the polished exterior. A flaw. Not one that could be seen, but Justin definitely ‘felt’ it. If that made any sense. Not that it mattered. Flaw or not, Justin wanted him. The invitation in his response was clear.

 

Brian sighed and cursed under his breath. Back down to code yellow.

There were very few rules in the Brian Kinney manual, but those few that were in there, he adhered to staunchly. And one of those rules were he didn’t hook up with guys who propositioned him. It was his game, and he was the hunter, not the prey. Now there were subtleties to that particular rule that could be circumvented. Like if the guy was coy about his invitation, or if the invitation was more subjective and less overt, then Brian would consider it. But the golden god before him was too overt in his overture. There was a reckless boldness about him that intrigued and even tempted him, but also sent up red flags.

 

Brian folded his paper and tucked it under his arm as he rose from his chair, grabbing the shopping bag by his side as he stood.

 

“Now why would I be interested in a night on a town I practically live in Blondie?” Brian inquired as he approached the counter were the blonde was standing.

 

Justin looked up at the tall Greek Adonis amazed at the formidable presence he made. He was a good several inches taller than Justin and walked with a confidence that was both sexual and menacing at the same time. Justin’s interest jumped tenfold.

 

He flashed him a smile that always got him what he wanted in the past and Brian nearly let his resolve slip at the sight of it. It was that powerful.

 

Justin noticed his reaction and pushed forward.

 

“It’s Justin. Justin Taylor. And you’d be surprised at all the new and exciting things you could find in old familiar territory. With the right person that is.” Justin suggested seductively.

 

Brian noticed his eyes grew stormy blue with that last statement. Fuck! this kid was dangerous he thought. And Brian Kinney did not do that kind of danger. Not anymore at least. Not for a long time.

 

“Well Justin Justin Taylor, since it’s Valentines day, my favorite day of the year by the way, I’m going to be uncharacteristically altruistic and not tell you to fuck off.” Brian said with a smile.

 

Justin laughed at his audacity. He liked this man. Hell, who was he kidding! He more than like this man, he wanted him. Bad. And Justin always got what he wanted…

 

Brian then gently nudged Justin aside; ignoring the sexually charged friction caused by the slight contact, and reached into the bag he was carrying to retrieve a bouquet of flowers. He handed them to Tina the waitress.

 

“Oh my God! For me?!” She asked, flustered by the gesture.

 

“Yes, for my favorite barista girl.” Brian said winking at her. Then he surprised her and the blonde standing next to him, by leaning over the counter and grabbing her behind the neck to pull her in for a kiss.

 

The kiss was hot and possessive and meant for the man standing next to him. Then, just as quickly as he attacked her mouth, he released her.

 

“Happy Valentines day.” He said cheerily then dropped a fifty dollar bill in her tip jar.

 

Tina grabbed her throat with her free hand; the other was still clutching the flowers, and just stared at him.

 

Brian raised his brow at her.

 

“My order Tina?” He asked.

 

That brought the waitress out of her daze.

 

“Oh yes Sir! I have it right here.” Tina sputtered as she went to retrieve the box filled with cappuccinos and pastries.

 

She threw a few extra scones into the box before handing it over to him.

 

“And a very happy Valentines Day to you too!” She said; her cheeks still aflame from his kiss.

 

Brian took the box from her and thanked her. He then turned to Blondie.

 

“You’re right about one thing. No one makes a cappuccino better than Tina.” He said then nodded his head to him in parting before walking out the door.

 

Justin watched as the tall, beautiful man exit the café.

 

“Jesus if I had known they grew men like that here in the Pitts I would have moved here years ago!” Justin mused out loud.

 

Tina laughed.

 

“Man.” She corrected.

 

Justin shot her a quizzical look.

 

“There is only one man like that in all of Pittsburgh. Hell, in all of the State! He’s one of a kind, and if you want a piece of him you’re going to have to wait in line. His dance card is full.” Tina informed Justin as she went about making his cappuccino. The young man had been in her café a few times in the past few weeks. She already knew the way he liked his cappuccino. Very frothy with a hint of vanilla.

 

Justin turned his attention back to the door where the Greek Adonis just departed and sighed.

 

“Well then, I guess dancing is out…Perhaps chess is more his game…” Justin mused out loud.

 

“Bit of advice?” Tina asked bringing him his hot steaming Cappuccino.

 

Justin turned his attention back to her and smiled indulgently. He never did take advice well, but she was a sweet girl.

 

“Sure.” He said.

 

“Save yourself the trouble. Even if you manage to get him into your bed, he won’t stay there long. He has a reputation for being ruthless. When you’re in his bed, it’s said that the sex is so good that the world around you literally disappears, but unfortunately so do you once he’s had you.” Tina said.

 

“That man has broken more hearts then is conscionable. But then again, no one ever said he had a conscious. Rumor has it that he got his heart broken when he was just a kid and vowed never to let anyone near that particular organ ever again. That’s assuming he ever had a heart.” Tina lamented.

 

Justin shot her a curious look.

 

“Harsh words for the man who just gave you flowers and a fifty dollar tip.” He scolded.

 

For some odd reason it bothered him to hear her malign the man’s character. He didn’t know who the Greek Adonis was, but he knew he didn’t like hearing this woman speak ill of him.

 

Tina had the good grace to blush.

 

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I guess I’m not immune to all the broken hearted men who traipse through here complaining because they’ve been used so badly by him.” Tina said, trying to explain her harsh words.

 

“Used? Does he promise them more than sex?” Justin asked.

 

Tina once again blushed.

 

“No. If anything, he’s known for his brutal honesty. Still, knowing you’re just going to be a one night stand doesn’t make the inevitable rejection afterwards any less painful.” She sagely remarked.

 

Justin shrugged, paid for his coffee and dropped a five dollar bill into her tip jar.

 

“They cause their own pain.” He said then turned abruptly away and walked out of the cafe.

 

 

The whole encounter in the café left him a bit unnerved. Justin didn’t like feeling unnerved. He spent the last two years struggling to get control over his life back. It was part of the reason he left New York. Things were getting too tense there. He was getting to tense. He couldn’t carry on in his line of work anymore. Too many memories, too many scars….

 

When his cousin Agnes told him she could get him an interview with the owner of a Private detective agency she worked for in Pittsburgh, Justin jumped at the chance. He was done with police work. His only other option was to accept a desk job and Justin was not the administrative type. He liked to be in the field. Being a private eye appealed to him. His department worked with a few detective agencies in New York, and he even had a few offers to join those firms, but he felt it was too close to home. He’d be working closely with NYPD and his goal was to forget everything about the NYPD. The incident, as he called it, changed him. Though he jumped right back into work after it happened, he noticed he was now a man driven. He saw evil in every corner, and trusted no one. Too often he found himself bringing innocent people in on mere suspicion. The last guy sued the department for unlawful arrest. That’s when Justin decided to get out before they forced him out, or worse, behind a desk.

 

The Agency Agnes got him an interview with was located in a gay community. The owner Agnes said was gay himself, in fact. It sounded like the perfect situation for him. He felt comfortable here. Pittsburgh suited him just fine thank you very much. He felt at home here.

 

 _...Home…Hazel eyes…auburn hair…_

 

Justin shook his head and wrapped his scarf more securely around his neck to ward off the sudden chill he got that he doubted had anything to do with the cold February air.

 

 _‘Where did that thought come from?'_ He wondered.

 

The Greek Adonis on the surface appeared to be exactly the kind of man Justin gravitated towards these days. Hot, available, and commitment phobic, much like himself. Since the ‘incident’ Justin only indulged in sexual encounters that were brief, pleasurable and disposable. In and out, so to speak. Seeking the maximum amount of pleasure with the minimal amount of bullshit. Justin Taylor was NOT relationship material. Not anymore anyway. The ‘incident’ had left him damaged in more ways then one. Justin accepted this. He didn’t bemoan it; he just learned to live life to the fullest with his limited emotional capabilities. And the Greek Adonis, who he could kick himself for not getting his name, seemed like the perfect candidate to indulge in some serious pleasure seeking experience. Yet….appearances could be deceiving. He sensed something in the man. A connection, if he could call it that. It was as if some part of him recognized something akin in the older man. Something…..damaged.

 

Justin frowned as he walked towards his car.

 

 _‘ That’s it. That’s the flaw. He’s damaged, like me.’_ Justin deduced.

 

And that thought did NOT sit well with him, because one damaged soul was bad enough, but two? Well that was a recipe for disaster. The logical answer would be to simply stay away from the man but something inside of him told him that wasn’t going to happen.

 

Sooner or later, Justin was sure, his and his ‘hazel eyed obsession’ paths would once again cross.

 

Little did he know that events were already in play that would set their paths on a full head on collision course.

 

**********************************************

 

 

“What demented queen is responsible for this?” Emmett asked as he walked into the office.

 

Debbie came out of Brian’s office draped in a string of red hearts.

 

“Em baby, you like!?” She all but squealed.

 

Emmett shot Shane a look that dared her to give him up then turned his attention back to Debbie, the ‘Den mother’ of their odd little family.

 

“Deb honey it’s beautiful!” Emmett declared with exaggerated falsetto.

 

The office was plastered with paper cupids, red hearts and glitter. Bowls of heart shaped candies sat on each desk. As always, it was a tad over done, but that was Debbie for you. Always living out loud. Everything about her was big from her personality, to her impossibly big red hair, to her big, BIG heart to her equally big mouth. But they all loved her, especially their boss. Debbie was more of a mother to him then his own mother was.

 

Shane shook her head laughing at Emmett’s attempt to cover his faux pas and walked over to Cynthia who was standing in front of their boss’s office door taping up a big heart shaped piece of red construction paper with the words “Happy Valentines Day Daddy” written on it with crayon.

 

“Hey Cyn, any calls yet?” She asked.

 

Cynthia, who was the Agency’s second in command, turned to look at Shane.

 

“Five. And I just got here a few minutes ago. I haven’t even checked the answering machine yet.” She said with a certain amount of pride in her voice.

 

“Well that should make his majesty happy.” Shane commented.

 

“It will make his majesty gloat, as he does every year around this time.” Debbie chimed in. There was a hint of censure and sadness in her voice.

 

“Ma lay off. Let him enjoy this one day will you? He’s actually fucking happy this one day of the year! Why do you always want to ruin it for him?” Her son Michael asked her.

 

Michael had driven his mother to his best friends Agency early this morning to decorate the place knowing it was Brian’s favorite time of year. Yet she did so, as she did every year, with an ulterior motive.

 

“Because he’s celebrating it for the wrong reasons!” Debbie countered.

 

“Um, I don’t know Deb. I mean you have to admit, there’s merit to his logic. Five calls Deb. And you know before the weeks out, we’ll have several dozen more cases. It happens every year.” Emmett said.

 

“He’s right Deb. Numbers don’t lie. We may not like the results, but one of the perks of Valentines Day falling within the same billing cycle as the credit card companies is that people get their first clue that their partners are cheating. Unexplained charges to jewelry and florist shops tend to raise a lot of questions. Questions we give answers to and nine out of ten times, the answer is exactly as the client suspected to begin with, but just needed validation. That’s what we do. Validate the universal truth that men, and women in a lot of cases, are only as faithful as their options.” Shane added.

 

 

“You’re all cynics! You know that? You always look at the bad, and not the good! You seem to fail to realize that love, true LOVE, is very hard to find. But when you do find it, it should be celebrated! That’s what Valentines Day is all about. Finding and honoring true love! True love may be rare but it DOES exist! Just because the almighty Kinney hasn’t been kissed by cupid yet he’s got you all convinced that it doesn’t exist! And that today is nothing more than a means to make money either by the commercialism of it all, or by capitalizing on people’s misery who dared to, God forbid, believe that they found true love! For fuck sakes, can we blame the poor souls for believing they’ve found it? I mean if not for the continual search for true love, then for God sakes what the fuck inspires you to go on?” Debbie asked.

 

Shane, Emmett and Cynthia all looked at each other. Truth was none of them were currently in a relationship. There was some merit to their boss’s beliefs, though they weren’t quite as cynical as he was. They still all held on to the hope that one day, love would come their way. Debbie was right. That hope did motivate them to keep searching. Still, in their line of work, it was getting harder and harder to believe in true love. They’ve seen too much of the worst of mankind to not be skeptical.

 

“Well I’m living proof that true love does exist! Ben and I have been together for two years now, and two people couldn’t be more devoted to each other than us.” Michael said in defense of ‘true love’.

 

Debbie nodded her head triumphantly, as if her point was just made.

 

None of the three single people in the room dared mentioned the fact that the reason why Michael and Ben were in a committed relationship was because Ben was HIV positive. He knew first hand the dangers of infidelities. Bens’ last lover cheated on him, and gave him HIV. Ben would never be that careless. And he never intended to have another long term relationship until Michael came along, and that took a lot of convincing on Michaels part. They were each loyal to each other. Their loving ‘committed’ relationship may very well have been spawned from ‘true love’, but it was cemented in their special circumstance.

 

“And you two are an inspiration to us all!” Emmett said deflecting what everyone was thinking.

 

“Unfortunately, not all. I wish Brian would see what he’s missing.” Debbie said.

 

She’d known Brian since he was fourteen and always wondered what had changed him so much.

 

When he was younger, he was such a happy, loving boy. So upbeat, and positive. Then right before he went off to college, something changed. What, she didn’t know. But something happened. Something she suspected only he, and her son knew. And Michael wasn’t talking. Her son was loyal to a fault. Whatever secrets Brian had they were safe with Michael.

 

Oh, Debbie had heard the rumors; that Brian had his heart broken and swore never to love again, but she couldn’t believe that. She never saw him with another boy, or ever heard him talk about a love interest. Plus he never showed any signs of someone who’s had their heart broken. If anything Brian grew more driven after high school. Still something must have happened to make him so…determined. Gone was the carefree, loving child who spent hours at her house laughing and day-dreaming with her son up in their room. That boy was gone, to be replaced with a man obsessed with success.

 

He got a full sports scholarship, for soccer, to Carnegie Mellon and got his BA in business, but that wasn’t good enough for him. He then continued on and got another degree in criminal forensic. After that, he joined the police academy and quickly moved up the ranks to Detective. He was on the force only three years before he decided to open up his own private detective agency. And that was just two years ago.

 

Considering his past record, Debbie wondered how long it would be before Brian moved on to his next endeavor. It was as if he was constantly running from something or to something. What ever it was, the man couldn’t seem to stay put for too long. And that behavior followed him into his personal life. Where as once, when Brian was a teen, he talked about someday having a partner and family of his own, he now rejected the idea vehemently. He now believed there was no such thing as love. That love was just an illusion straight people created in order to get laid. And since his main objective was to get laid, Brian chose to forego the illusion and went straight for the prize. This practice had earned him the title of “Stud of Liberty Avenue” One she wasn’t quite sure he was proud of.

 

“Happy Valentines Day everyone!” Brian’s voice boomed through the office. Debbie jumped; half believing she conjured him up from her thoughts.

 

“Happy Valentines Day boss.” Shane said as she approached him to take the box out of his hands.

 

“Oh Goodies!” Emmett squealed gleefully and clapped his hands.

 

“Deb, amazing job with the decorations, as usual.” Brian said walking over to her and placing a kiss on her cheek.

 

He then reached into the bag he was carrying and pulled out a bouquet of blood red roses.

 

“For you Ma.” He said tongue in cheek.

 

Debbie took the flowers and kissed his cheek.

 

“Not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, but I’d be happier if you were giving these flowers to someone more….special.” Debbie said knowing her meaning was not lost on him.

 

“There’s no one more special than you. But I know just what you mean that’s why I have these.” Brian said reaching into the bag again and pulling out another bouquet of roses and handing them to his best friend Michael.

 

Michael laughed.

 

“Asshole. These aren’t for me.” He said, knowing his friend so well.

 

Brian shrugged and took the roses back.

 

“Oh well, can’t blame a guy for trying. You see Deb, there’s proof. The reason why I’m single is because the love of my life is happier with someone else. My ‘true love’ has another ‘true love’” Brian mocked.

 

Debbie smacked him with the roses.

 

“Ouch!” Brian said laughing.

 

Cynthia took the roses out of Brian’s hands.

 

“These better be for Lindsey. She’s coming in this morning, remember?” She reminded him.

 

“Yes, I remember. She’s bringing my son. Or where they already here?” He asked eyeing the heart shaped ornament on his door with a suspicious glint in his eyes.

 

“No, I brought that in. Lindsey and Mel brought Gus to my house last night. Gus asked me if I could bring this to the office this morning and hang it before you arrived. He wanted it to be the first thing you saw when you came in.” She explained.

 

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and starred at the oddly shaped heart with his son’s unmistakable handwriting on it. His heart swelled, reminding him that he indeed did have one. Thank God. If there was anyone who could bring forth emotion from him, it was his son. Now there was true love he thought to himself. The only kind he’d allow himself to feel.

 

He turned his attention to the occupants in the room.

 

“Is that not a thing of beauty?” He asked.

 

Everyone agreed at once, complimenting the boys’ handiwork. They all knew how Brian felt about his son. He lived for the boy. Gus was Brian’s world. If anyone doubted Brian fucking Kinney had a heart, all they’d have to do is witness him with his son. It gave his closest friends and family hope, that Brian would maybe one day open that heart of his just a little more, and let someone else in.

 

 _“Ring”_

 

"I’ll get it!” Cynthia said running over to the phone.

 

“Where’s Agnes?” Brian asked inquiring as to the whereabouts of his secretary.

 

“She called and said she’d be late. She had to run an errand.” Emmett answered.

 

“When she gets here I want everyone in my office. Get Theodore too. Where the fuck is he anyway?” Brian asked wondering where the fuck half his staff was.

 

“Teddy’s in his office honey getting ready for the morning meeting.” Emmett informed him.

 

“A meeting that’s not going to take place if Agnes doesn’t get here soon. I can’t have Cynthia manning the phones. That’s Aggy’s job.” Brian snapped.

 

As if on cue Agnes walked in looking her usual disheveled self.

 

“Happy Valentines Day!” She said to everyone in the room.

 

“Agnes, where the fuck were you? You know this is our busiest day of the year. What was so important that you couldn’t be here doing your job?” Brian reprimanded.

 

“Sorry Boss, but I had to pick up Steven’s gift! I couldn’t get it after work, Marty’s closing early today to take his wife out to dinner.” Agnes explained. Steven was her latest boyfriend. Marty owned the jewelry shop around the corner.

 

Brian rolled his eyes.

 

“See, this is what ‘love’ gets you. Late to work.” Brian said to Debbie.

 

Debbie huffed and told Michael to get her coat.

 

“Some would say you are a hopeless cause Brian Kinney.” She said as she slid into her coat.

 

“Some?” Brian asked with a raised eye brow.

 

“Yeah, some. I on the other hand, still hold out hope for you.” She said then leaned up to kiss him goodbye on the cheek which she then followed up with a ‘motherly’ smack.

 

“Thanks for the roses...Asshole.” She said then winked at him.

 

Michael laughed.

 

“See you later?” He asked as he donned his own coat.

 

Brian reached out and pulled Michael in for a kiss.

 

“Not tonight honey. Busy, busy.” He said before releasing him.

 

Michael sighed.

 

“Like a bee. Complete with the stinger.” Michael quipped back.

 

Brian laughed.

 

“Dinner this Sunday Deb?” He called out before the two reached the door.

 

“Same as every Sunday! Maybe this week you’ll actually show up!” Debbie complained before she and Michael exited the building.

 

Brian turned back to his employee’s.

 

“Ok, let’s get started then.” He said clapping his hands together eagerly.

 

“Phones all yours Agnes. We’ll be in our meeting. Tell Theodore to get his ass in my office stat.” Brian instructed.

 

Agnes quickly took her place behind the reception desk and buzzed Ted.

 

Several minutes later they were all, (except for Agnes who was manning the phones), sitting in Brian’s office drinking the cappuccinos and eating the pastries he bought them. Brian abstained from partaking of all the carbs.

 

“So, where are we?” He asked.

 

Shane was the first to speak. Shane, along with Emmett, Cynthia, Theodore and Agnes had been with him from day one. Shane and Emmett were field agents; Cynthia handled ‘special’ accounts, her specialty being in cyber surveillances and Theodore was his accountant. Agnes ran the front end of their operation.

 

“We are down one P.I. and need two.” Shane said as she munched on a scone.

 

“Really Brian, did you have to fire Chad?” Emmett asked clucking his tongue disapprovingly.

 

“The question should be did he really have to fuck him?” Cynthia asked more candidly.

 

“So? What’s the big deal? He fucks everyone.” Ted defended.

 

“Point is, now we’re down a P.I. Cynthia’s divvied up his cases to me and Emmett. The load’s too heavy, plus with all the new clients that are already lining up for our services, we’re going to need at least two more hands on deck.” Shane said.

 

“First, I didn’t have to fuck Brad, he just made himself too accessible. And yes, I had to fire him after that. He wanted a second fuck.” Brian said.

 

Everyone in the room shuddered mockingly in response to Brian’s announcement.

 

“God forbid. And his name was Chad.” Emmett said.

 

Everyone laughed.

 

Brian chose to ignore them.

 

“Whatever. Second, I’m interviewing someone this afternoon to replace Fred.” He continued.

 

“Again, his name was Chad, and is this new guy gay?” Emmett asked.

 

“No.” Brian said, though he had no clue really. Agnes set up the interview.

 

“Good.” Everyone in the room echoed the same thought.

 

Brian’s jaw dropped open.

 

“You make it sound like I’m some sort of predator!” Brian complained.

 

“What? And you’re not?” This came from Cynthia, who out of all of them was the bravest in telling their boss exactly what she thought.

 

Brian glared at her.

 

“Where are we on dumpster boy?” He asked Shane, switching topics, getting down to business.

 

“Hitting brick walls, that’s where. I’m not the assailant’s type. I can’t smoke him out.” Shane said.

 

Brian frowned. They had a good working relationship with Pittsburgh’s finest. When ever the cops hit a dead end with a case, they were called in. ‘Dumpster boy’ was one of those ‘dead end’ cases. The police found a kids’ strangled body two weeks ago in a dumpster, and couldn’t even get an ID on the boy. No family, no friends, no clues. Shane took the case and was able to get a name. He was a hustler named Jason Kempt. She was working on the premise that the kid got off’d by one of his Johns. A deal gone bad, sex got too rough...situations like that were common in that profession.

 

Shane went undercover posing as a young male hustler to flesh out the culprit. She had that androgynous look about her. When properly attired, one couldn’t tell if she were male or female. Not that it mattered; in either sex she was considered a beauty. Short glossy black hair, blue eyes, rosy kissable lips and a face that could stop traffic. She was slight in form, and ‘boyish’ in manner when the role called for it. And she was playing this role perfectly, only with no luck. All she managed to find out so far was dumpster boys’ name and were he worked. She’d been ‘working’ the place for the past week trying to get more information.

 

“Well keep trying. Our guy will show up sooner or later, if he doesn’t proposition you, he’s sure to go after one of the other hustlers down there. Make friends, keep close to these kids. This guy killed once, he’ll do it again.” Brian said.

 

“I’ll do my best Boss, but I also got three missing person’s cases I’m working on, and one cheating husband. I can’t be everywhere at once.” Shane complained.

 

“What part of 'I have an interview this afternoon' didn’t you get? Keep your panties on; help is on its way. And if you can’t handle it, pass a case or two on to me.” Brian said.

 

Shane bristled at Brian’s implied slur.

 

“I can handle it.” She said resolutely.

 

Brian nodded his head in approval.

 

“Em? How’s it going with that football player?” Brian asked.

 

Mrs. Drew Boyd had hired them to investigate her husband. She was convinced there was another woman. Brian knew from experience that if the wife suspected, enough to hire a private investigator, that her husband was cheating on her then chances were she was right. They had to handle this case however with kid gloves. Drew Boyd was an iconic sports figure. Discretion, on their part at least, was top priority.

 

“Well there is good news and bad news.” Emmett said cagily.

 

Brian noticed that Emmett grew very nervous all of a sudden.

 

“Start with the good news.” He said.

 

“There’s no other woman.” Emmett said.

 

Brian raised an eyebrow, surprised at that bit of information.

 

“Oh? Then what’s the bad news?” He asked.

 

“There is another man.” He said.

 

Cynthia laughed, Shane choked on her scone and Ted sighed.

 

“I knew it.” Ted said.

 

“His ass looked too good in those white pants.” He added.

 

“Fuck. You got the proof for this? She won’t accept this with out solid proof.” Brian said.

 

“Um, besides some photo’s of him making out with a guy in a back ally on Hubert street…I, um, I…”

 

“Shit!! You fucked him didn’t you?!” Brian roared as he sprung from his chair.

 

Emmett physically cringed at Brian’s outburst.

 

“I swear to God Brian, it was an accident!” Emmett defended himself.

 

“Really? His dick just accidently slipped into your ass? What the fuck were you thinking?!” Brian admonished.

 

“He wasn’t thinking, he was fucking. You of all people should understand that impulse.” Cynthia chimed in.

 

“You know Cyn, sometimes I wish you would just shut the fuck up...” Brian said warily then sank back into his chair.

 

“Ok, what’s done is done. Time for damage control. Call him in here. We need to have a talk with Mr. Boyd.” Brian said.

 

“Brian, you can’t. You’ll be breaking the client/agency privacy agreement.” Cynthia reminded him.

 

“I know, but this is a special circumstance. Do you want to ruin that man’s career? His wife will freak, and use the information to destroy him. I didn’t start this agency to ruin lives.” Brian said vehemently.

 

“Are you kidding? How many relationships do you think we’ve ruined by exposing cheating partners?!” Shane asked.

 

“We did those people favors. They were heading for divorce or breakup before they even came to us. They just needed proof. But we DON’T intentionally ruin a man’s career because he doesn’t bat for the same team his sponsors do!” Brian said. This was personal to him.

 

“I agree. I think we should call Drew in. This is a special circumstance. He’s fucking one of our agents. That alone broke the client/agency privacy agreement. We have no choice.” Ted voiced this logic.

 

“Emmett and I will deal with it. Let’s just leave it at that. What about that other case. The metro sexual fags who both hired us to investigate the other. Any progress there or have you fucked them both too?” Brian asked Emmett.

 

The silence in the room stunned Brian.

 

“What the fuck? Em!? Did someone put Viagra in your cereal!? Or are you just insane?!” Brian asked frustrated.

 

“They seduced me! They’re both cheating bastards! Those two deserve each other. I’m handing in my report to them this afternoon and picking up our check. We should bill them double just for being assholes.” Emmett said.

 

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He felt a migraine coming on.

 

“Buzzz…”

 

Brian reached over and pressed the intercom button.

 

“What is it Agnes?” Brian asked.

 

“Lindsey and Gus are here to see you.” Agnes said.

 

Brian smiled. Seeing his son was just what he needed right now.

 

“Send them in Aggy.” Brian said then rose from his chair.

 

“Meetings over everyone. We’ll pick this up at tomorrow’s morning meeting. Until then, Em, keep your hole, all of them, shut for fuck sakes!” He said.

 

Everyone filed out of the office as Gus and Lindsey entered. Gus ran to his father and jumped into his arms.

 

“Oomph!”

 

Gus giggled.

 

“Did you like the heart I made you Daddy?” Gus asked.

 

Brian hugged his son to him tightly.

 

“Of course I did Sonny boy. It’s beautiful. I always knew you were talented. You get that from your mother you know.” Brian said.

 

“Ima says’ I’m a natural. What does that mean Daddy?” Gus asked.

 

“It means Sonny boy that things, like drawing and creating art, are easy for you to do.” Brian tried to answer his boys question best he can.

 

“I do like drawing a lot! Maybe I’ll be a famous artist one day and Mommy will hang my drawings in her gallery!” Gus boasted innocently.

 

“I have no doubt Sonny boy that you’ll accomplish anything you set your mind to.” Brian said ruffling his boys’ hair affectionately.

 

 

“He is quite good you know. His art teacher told us she’s going to put some of his art work up in the library.” Lindsey said in her best proud mother’s voice.

 

Brian smiled over at his long time friend. Next to Mikey, Lindsey was his closest friend. They met his first year in college, a year that was very difficult for him, though no one knew it at the time, or till this day, and they had instantly bonded. Lindsey’s life from day one was filled with drama. Born into a wasp family, in the closet trying to compete with the perfect older sister. God she was a mess, and she appealed to Brian’s attraction to chaos. Together they lived the college life to the fullest. Taking advantage of every cliché’ college experience on record. He gave her confidence and helped her come out to her parents. She helped him forget and taught him how to smile again.

 

Over the years their friendship grew and their relationship strengthened, and it was because of their special bond that when she came to him six years ago to ask him to be donor to her and Mel’s baby he agreed without hesitation. Regardless of the fact that he and Mel, her partner for the last eight years, were not exactly fans of each other. Still, as it turned out, it was the best decision Brian had ever made in his life. He never believed having a child would be possible for him. That was something ‘couples’ did, and though there was a time, a lifetime ago, when he had foolish dreams of being in such an arrangement…like the tooth fairy, and Santa Clause, that fantasy was quickly shattered. There was no such thing as ‘happily ever after’ he discovered early on. Being in a ‘loving’ relationship was a temporary situation at best. Not that Brian didn’t recognize that some couples did make it the long haul, he did. But it wasn’t ‘love’ that kept them together. Love was just an illusion people created to excuse all kinds of ridiculous and often hurtful behaviors. Long term relationships were often the results of habit, or worse, sacrifice. The good news for his son was that even if his mom’s relationship didn’t last, which Brian doubted it would, he’d always have him. He had no one to leave, or to leave him. He would always be the one constant in his boy’s life.

 

 _“Knock, knock.”_

 

Cynthia peaked her head in the door as she knocked.

 

“Happy Valentines day Lins. These are for you.” She said entering with the roses she took from Brian’s hands earlier.

 

Lindsey smiled at her and thanked her before turning to Brian.

 

“You really shouldn’t have.” She said to him knowing they were from him.

 

Brian looked to Gus who he was still holding.

 

“There from Gus to you, right Sonny boy?” Brian asked.

 

Gus nodded his head excitedly.

 

“And for Ima too, right Daddy?” Gus asked.

 

Brian bit the inside of his cheek. Every Valentines day Brian would get a gift from Gus to his mommy. He never got anything for Mel, it wasn’t expected, or required, but this year Gus was old enough to notice the slight. The last thing he wanted was for his boy to think he didn’t like his Ima.

 

“The roses are for mommy Sonny boy. I thought Ima would like these better.” Brian said reaching into the bag he brought in earlier and pulling out a box of dark Belgium chocolates and handing them to his son.

 

“Wow! Ima’s gonna love these!” Gus said excitedly as he took the box from his father.

 

“Here honey, let me hold on to them for you. You can give them to Ima after I pick you up from school. ” Lindsey said taking the chocolates from her sons’ hands as she sent Brian a grateful look.

 

“Speaking of school, you better get going before you’re late.” Brian said.

 

Gus moaned a bit in protest as Brian put him back down and turned him towards his mother.

 

“See you this Sunday at Debs?” Lindsey asked as she gathered their gifts up preparing to leave.

 

“I guess I should put in an appearance. It’s been awhile. The last thing I need is for her to show up at my loft with some God awful casserole she insists use to be my favorite while she raids my stash and reminisces about mine, and her lost youth.” Brian said.

 

“Hmmm. From what I hear her youth wasn’t lost, it was well spent. And yours…”

 

“Is not worth wasting any thought on.” Brian interrupted as he reached into his bag one last time pulling out a small box.

 

“I do believe there is one more gift in here.” Brian said.

 

“My Valentines gift!” Gus exclaimed as he jumped up and down in joy clapping his hands.

 

Brian smiled a genuine smile as he witnessed his son’s pure unadulterated joy.

 

 _‘God was I ever that blissfully innocent?’_ He wondered briefly before shaking his musings away.

 

“You didn’t think I’d forget the best son in the whole wide world now did you?” Brian teased handing the package to his son.

 

“Can I open it now Daddy? Can I?” Gus asked.

 

Brian looked to Lindsey who nodded her head in approval.

 

“Go ahead Sonny boy.” Brian said.

 

Gus tore into the package with youthful enthusiasm.

 

His face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw what was inside.

 

“An ipod!” He exclaimed.

 

Lindsey made a face.

 

“Really Brian, he’s much too young for an ipod!” She scolded.

 

“I also got him a docking station for it. It’s just for your room Sonny boy, to replace your radio. I know how much you love listening to music in your room. Mommy will program all your favorite songs in it so that you can listen to them anytime you want.” Brian explained.

 

“Oh thank you sooooo much Daddy! I love it! None of my friends have one!” Gus ran to his father and hugged him.

 

“Uh huh…Of course they don’t. Not many kindergarteners do.” Lindsey muttered under her breath.

 

“Now Gus, I don’t want you bragging to your friends, ok? It’s not polite to brag.” Brian reminded his son.

 

“I know Daddy, I won’t. I promise.” Gus said releasing his father.

 

“Ok then, now we really better get going before your father decides to buy you a car.” Lindsey said.

 

“Next year.” Brian teased as he walked them out of his office.

 

“Agnes, make an appointment next week for my son and I to go browsing for sports cars. Never too young to start.” Brian joked.

 

Gus laughed.

 

“Ok Boss, while I’m at it, I’ll call the realtor and ask him to start scouting for Condo’s in Florida. Never too soon to plan for his retirement either.” Agnes teased back.

 

It was no secret to anyone in Brian’s life how much he doted on, and spoiled his son. It was often jested about good-naturedly.

 

“Might as well call the matchmaker too. Get a head start in finding him a good wife.” Shane jumped into the fray.

 

Brian made a face.

 

“Or a good husband.” Emmett corrected with a hint of indignation in his voice.

 

Shane laughed.

 

“Now you’re all just being cruel.” Brian said horrified that his boy would one day be saddled in a….’relationship’….

 

Everyone in the room laughed.

 

Lindsey and Gus managed to exit the office amongst the jovial repartee leaving the others to start their workday.

 

The phone rang effectively halting the playful bantering prompting everyone to get back to their duties.

 

 

“Kinney’s Private Dicks! You drop it, we’ll spot it. He cheats, we’ll peak. Loved one gone, we’ll find him before dawn. You need a trace? This is the place! No job too big, no job too small. We’re here to service one and all! How may I you?” Agnes answered the phone with her signature greeting which never failed to put a smile on everyone’s face. Agnes was an original, and she too appealed to Brian’s zest for chaos.

 

“Brian, I just got off the phone with Horaviths from the precinct.” Cynthia said walking up to him holding a faxed sheet in her hands.

 

Carl Horaviths was the new chief of police for the Pittsburgh police department. They’d been working closely with him on the ‘dumpster’ boy case.

 

“He got a break in the case?” Brian asked.

 

“No, he heard we were looking for another PI and he’s sending someone over. He faxed me over his file. Guy’s got some laundry list of occupations here. Got his law degree at 25, which is impressive by any ones standards and got disbarred when he was thirty for withholding material evidence and trying to bribe a judge. Joined the police force after that, worked vice for a while before being put on suspension for using department funds to ‘interview’ prostitutes. Left the force to do some clandestine government work that no one can get any information on, and was last reported as doing freelance work ‘negotiating’. What ever the hell that means.” Cynthia read the litany off the fax sheet she was holding.

 

 

“And exactly why is the good chief sending us this guy?” Brian asked with a raised brow.

 

Cynthia looked up at him.

 

“Horaviths’ said you’d like him. Said he’d should fit right in here at the asylum.” She replied smiling at him.

 

“He also said this guy knows how to get things done. Thought you’d appreciate that.” Cynthia added in a more serious tone.

 

“Schedule him in for this afternoon.” Brian said.

 

“Already did. He’s your one o’clock.” Cynthia said.

 

“Don’t forget your nine-thirty. He’ll be here any minute.” Agnes said having just gotten off the phone.

 

“Ah, yes. My nine-thirty. Just exactly were did you find this guy Agnes?” Brian asked.

 

“Geesh Boss, you never listen to me! I told you he’s my cousin from NY. Use to work undercover there. He’s moved here and is looking for a change.” Agnes said.

 

Brian sighed.

 

“In other words, he got kicked out too. Why are all PI’s misfits?” Brian mused out loud.

 

“Hey, we resemble that remark!” Emmett chimed in from over at his desk.

 

“Should have named the agency Kinney’s wayward miscreants instead of Private Dicks.” Shane said from her desk, which sat across from Emmett’s.

 

“Private Dicks is more appealing.” Brian responded.

 

“Pretty much all dicks appeal to you.” Cynthia muttered under her breath as she headed back to her office.

 

“Maybe you should find a dick of your own, then you wouldn’t be so preoccupied with my obsession with dicks!” Brian called after her, unsure if his words were heard over her slamming of her door.

 

The phone rang again. Oh yes, Brian loved Valentines Day. Nothing breeds more suspicion and doubt then declarations of love.

 

“I’ll be in Ted’s office. Call me when your miscreant cousin gets here.” Brian said to Agnes before she had a chance to answer the phone.

 

Agnes scrunched up her face disapprovingly as she picked up the receiver. Brian winked at her then disappeared around the corner towards Ted’s office.

 

“Kinney’s Private Dicks! You drop it, well spot it…..”

 

 

*****************************************

 

 

Kinney’s Private Dicks. Justin laughed as he looked up at the sign that hung over the imposing brick building. Agnes had told him that the building use to be a bathhouse. The irony wasn’t lost on him. If nothing else, this Mr. Kinney should prove interesting.

 

He looked over at his dashboard clock. Shit! Nine forty-five. Already fucking late on his first job interview here. Not that he gave a fuck, except his cousin set this up and he didn’t want her to look bad because of him. Well it was that damned Hazel eyed devil’s fault anyway. Justin found himself driving around for a while after his encounter with the ‘Greek God’ just trying to get his bearings straight. It had been a long time since he felt so attracted to anyone. Actually, if he were honest with himself, he never felt this kind of intense instant attraction. It was unsettling, to say the least.

 

Before he knew it he found himself pulling up in front of the coffee shop again looking to find out the name of the man that had literally rocked his world. Unfortunately, Tina wasn’t there. Some kid was covering for her. Something about her mother’s car breaking down. Justin cursed his bad luck, or more likely good fortune since he knew no good could come out of a second chance meeting with the man, so he bought himself another cup of coffee and got back in his car suddenly remembering his interview. He hated that he was late. And hated the reason why.

 

He threw his car in park and entered the building surprised to find the inside decorum to be very fifth avenue, despite its’ ‘back alley’ appearance from the outside. Justin spotted his cousin Agnes the moment he walked through the enormous double pane glass doors and waved at her.

 

Agnes waved back and motioned him over. She was just finishing up a phone call.

 

“Justin you’re late!” She said coming out from behind her desk to give him a hug.

 

Justin hugged her back.

 

“I know, sorry Aggy. I lost track of time. I promise however to dazzle the pants off of your Boss.” He said pulling back and smiling at her.

 

Agnes frowned at him.

 

“Don’t you dare go plying your charms on Mr. Kinney! He’s off limits, do you understand?” Agnes scolded lightly.

 

Justin leaned in and kissed his cousin’s cheek.

 

“I promise to behave, ok? Don’t worry. I really appreciate you getting me this interview Aggy. I won’t fuck it up.” Justin said.

 

Agnes smiled at him and wrung her hands.

 

“I know you won’t. We really need the help, and you’re perfect for the job. He’s in with the accountant right now so I’m sure he’s not looking at the clock. It’s a busy time for us.” Agnes said.

 

“If this is a bad time I can come back.” Justin offered.

 

“Oh no, he told me to buzz him when you got here. He’s got another interview this afternoon. Cases are plying up, he’s not going to want to put this off.” Agnes said.

 

“Well then, let’s get this show on the road. Let me just hit the bathroom first, ok? Too much coffee this morning.” Justin said.

 

“Sure, but be quick.” Agnes said pointing the way to the bathrooms.

 

Justin gave her a quick nod then rushed off to relieve himself. The bathroom was luxurious. Again, Justin was impressed. He walked over to the glistening porcelain urinal and unzipped his pants. Not a moment later he heard someone else enter the room.

 

Though Brian could have stayed and talked accruals, accounts, and investment projections with Ted all day….NOT….he was more then glad when nature called giving him a legitimate excuse not to continue on with the business of his business. And he did need a legitimate reason. His conscious wouldn’t let him willfully neglect his business. Too many people counted on Private Dick’s income, though he was not one of those people. Brian had made many investments over the years that had left him, and his son, financially secure for the rest of their lives. He started this agency as a hobby to begin with, but then, one by one, his little family of employee’s grew, some old friends, some new, and he was now responsible for their livelihood. One day, when Ted and Cynthia were ready, he’d hand over the agency to them. But that time was not now and he needed to make sure everything was in order in the mean time.

 

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice at first the man standing at the urinal next to him. Bathroom etiquette being what it was, he kept his focus on his own ‘business’, that was until his eye caught a glimpse of shiny blonde hair. Hair, he realized uneasily, he recognized all too well.

 

 _‘who the fuck recognizes some ones’ hair?’_ his mind rebelled.

 

All etiquette was tossed out the window when he snapped his head towards the man and gaped.

 

“You!” He practically shouted surprised, yet secretly pleased to see the blonde again.

 

Justin was startled by the outburst and nearly peed on himself in response. He quickly zipped up his pants and turned towards the man who had been haunting his thoughts all mourning, wondering if he were hallucinating.

 

“No fucking way! Are you stalking me?” Justin asked laughing, delighted at this new development.

 

 _‘God he’s beautiful when he laughs.’_ The treacherous thought entered Brian’s mind.

 

Brian snorted.

 

“Not likely! What are you doing here?” Brian asked.

 

Justin gave him a puzzled look.

 

“Don’t tell me we’re interviewing for the same job!” Justin asked incredulously.

 

Brian pushed his tongue against the side of his cheek. So this was his nine-thirty. Shit! This was also Aggy’s cousin! Ok, this definitely complicated things.

 

“I already got the job.” Brian answered.

 

Justin responded by flashing him with a brilliant smile. Not a reaction he was expecting, but one he was growing quite found of. Each time the kid smiled, it went straight to his dick. It was as if the Sun took his cue from that smile.

 

“That makes you happy Sunshine?” Brian asked.

 

 _Sunshine..._ The nickname washed over Justin like molten honey.

 

“It’s Justin, remember?” Justin asked.

 

Brian laughed.

 

“Actually, I do. Justin, Justin Taylor.” Brian replied cheekily.

 

Justin snorted an adorable laugh and lightly slapped Brian’s arm.

 

“You’re incorrigible, you know that? And a big tease. Well, since you got the job over me, why don’t you take me out to celebrate your good fortune since I got the distinct impression this morning that you didn’t like the idea of me taking you out.” Justin said.

 

Jesus the kid was ballsy Brian mused. Brian didn’t like pushy, ballsy tricks. But then again he was in luck. This wasn’t a trick, this was Aggy’s cousin. Brian couldn’t in good conscious, make him one of his tricks. He didn’t know how he felt about that. Part of him was relieved that there were limitations to their relationship. He didn’t have to be psychic to know this kid was walking dynamite. He barely knew him and he was already challenging his staunch personal code of conduct. But another part of him, a part Brian thought long gone, was tempted to throw caution to the wind and dare to walk in that place where logic ceased to exist. The place where Brian had sworn never to venture again. The mere fact that he was even entertaining such a ludicrous idea made him angry.

 

“You get off on rejection?” Brian countered testily.

 

“I don’t do rejections.” Justin parried unfazed by the edge he heard in the man’s voice.

 

Brian smiled. The kid had girt. His audacity was sincere. It wasn’t manufactured. Most guys who acted so boldly were simply covering up some serious insecurities. Donning macho attitudes to cover up for either small dicks or low self-esteem. Brian despised men like that. He liked honest confidence. Too much. Brian hated bullshit and excuses. He lived his life with no regrets, and no apologies. It was a trait sorely lacking in most men, most people actually. Which was a good thing for Brian because men like that were Brian’s undoing. One man in particular.

 

 

 _‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’_ That was one place he NEVER let his mind roam. What was it about this kid?

 

“Yeah well rejection is a part of life. Sooner or later that little harsh bit of reality is going to hit you.” Brian said his mood suddenly growing morose.

 

Justin tilted his head at him curiously.

 

“What makes you think I haven’t experienced rejection? I said I don’t ‘do’ rejection, as in present tense. Not that I never have. Despite my youthful appearance, it might surprise you to know that I have lived a bit, and learned a thing or two along the way. One thing I’ve learned is that rejection is an internalized emotion. One I won’t entertain. I may not get what I want all the time, but I never take it personally. It’s just part of life. You’re a hot guy. You know that, and I think you’d be a great fuck. I also think you feel the same way about me. If you choose to pass up the opportunity I’m offering that’s your choice. It’s no reflection on me. But I would point out that denying yourself pleasure is a form of self rejection. Perhaps you should be asking yourself if you get off on rejection?” Justin turned the question on him.

 

Brian couldn’t have been more shocked or more turned on if the kid had dropped to his knees and blown him. He had effectively changed Brian’s view on what’s ‘hot’ and what’s not in one small well-delivered diatribe. For the first time in his life, Brian was at a lost for words. So he did the next logical thing. He grabbed Justin by his waistband and pulled him out of the bathroom and towards his office. He needed to take control back and fast.

 

Justin was shocked into silence by the sudden movement. He let himself be dragged through the corridor past his cousins’ desk.

 

Agnes saw the two men stalk towards her both with very disturbing looks on their faces. Her boss’s was determined, her cousin’s, confused.

 

“Is something wrong Boss?” She asked warily not really wanting to know what occurred between the two men.

 

“Tell Ted to add Mr. Justin Taylor to our payroll Aggy. He starts today. We’ll be in my office discussing the details if anyone needs me.” Brian ordered right before he practically threw Justin into his office.

 

Justin stumbled into the office a bit clumsily. He barely heard his new “Boss” slam the door behind him before he had a chance to right himself and turn around to face him.

 

“Wait! You’re Brian Kinney!?” Justin asked stunned at the revelation.

 

Brian’s nose flared slightly at the sight of the disheveled man in front of him. Some of the cool composure he wore so effortlessly had slipped. It wasn’t much of a slip but it was enough to bolster Brian’s own tenuous resolve. He operated best when he had the upper hand. And he was about to exert that hand right now.

 

“You can call me Boss.” Brian said.

 

Justin gaped at him.

 

Brian went in for the kill.

 

“Now you can either take advantage of this opportunity I’m offering you, or ‘reject’ it.” Brian began setting the tone.

 

“In either case, trust me, I won’t internalize it. But if you do decide to reject my offer, you’ll be denying yourself the chance to work with some of the finest people in the field, operate independently, something I get the feeling is important to you, and make more money than you would working in the public or any other private sector. The only question you have to ask yourself now is do YOU get off on rejection?” Brian said effectively turning the tables on his hot blonde nemesis putting himself once again in charge.

 

Justin just stared at him in awe at the way he managed to shift power with such finesse and with such ease.

 

Brian evoked his inner ‘Clint Eastwood’

 

“Well, do you?” He pushed placing the ball back in the blondes court.

 

Justin smiled at the reference and gave Brian his answer.

 

The only answer a situation like this called for.


	2. Chapter 2

“You turned Brian Kinney down!?” Agnes all but shouted drawing the attention from the lunch crowd that occupied the Liberty diner.

 

Justin looked around nervously.

 

“Jesus Aggy, why not take an ad out in the Pittsburgh Gazette while you’re at it!” He said.

 

Just then Deb showed up at their booth.

 

“Hey Agnes, who’s your cute friend?” She asked snapping her gum.

 

“Deb, my lunch? Soon? Like in this millenium please? Some of us have to get back to work you know.” Another patron called out from the far end of the diner.

 

“Keep your garter belt on Leo. I’ll pack it to go. It’s not like you’re not going to throw it up later anyway.” Deb threw back at him over her shoulders as she placed her hands on her hips in a defying gesture, daring him to deny her accusation.

 

Justin laughed.

 

“Do you treat all your customers that way?” He asked cheekily.

 

“Only those I like. Now, who the fuck are you?” She asked turning her attention back to him.

 

Justin graced the waitress with one of his well-practiced winning smiles, causing Deb to put her hand to her throat.

 

“God you’re fucking gorgeous, that’s what you are! Oh I can see you’ll be causing all sorts of trouble around here young man.” She said.

 

“Well as long as it’s the ‘good’ kind of trouble, I won’t mind.” Justin replied.

 

“Deb, this is Justin Taylor, my cousin from New York. Brian offered him a job at the agency but he turned him down.” Agnes said in an accusing voice.

 

Deb laughed.

 

“Of course he did sweetie. Look at him. I don’t think much work would get done in that office with those two working together,” she winked at him, “Smart boy.”

 

Justin turned his attention back to his cousin.

 

“See Aggy, I told you. It just wouldn’t work. There’s too much…well let’s just say complications for me to be working there.” Justin said.

 

“Ha! Complications are Brian’s specialty. Still, you made the right choice. The term sexual harassment isn’t in the Brian Kinney manual. And believe me gorgeous he’d be harassing you. You’re too fucking adorable for your own good.” Deb said.

 

Justin managed to blush this time. He was usually not so easily flattered, or embarrassed, but this charming woman had him under her spell. She was bold, brash and in your face. Justin instantly liked her.

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Mr. Kinney?” Justin asked.

 

Deb sighed a little sadly before answering.

 

“I’ve been surrogate mother to that boy since he’s fourteen. That’s when he moved into our neighborhood. He and my boy Michael are best friends. Brian’s parents weren’t particularly attentive, if you know what I mean. And when they were, it wasn’t the kind of attention any kid should receive. He spent a lot of time at my house. I unofficially adopted him.” Deb said with much pride in her voice.

 

“His dad past away some time ago, his mom lives alone and his sister lives on the other side of town with her two rotten kids, and her dead beat husband. Brian doesn’t have much contact with any of them. We’re the only family he acknowledges.” Deb explained.

 

“Geesh Deb, why not give him Brian’s whole medical history while you’re at it too. Ever hear of respecting someone’s privacy?” Shane said as she walked up to the small group startling Deb.

 

“Fuck Shane do you have to sneak up on a person like that!” Deb said placing her hand on her heart.

 

“It comes natural for me. Job requires stealth.” Shane said.

 

“We didn’t get a chance to meet before. I’m Shane, I work for Private Dicks and I’m here to ask you why the fuck you turned down the job?” Shane directed her question to Justin.

 

Deb started to open her mouth when Shane interrupted her.

 

“Deb, your customers are starting to walk out…with your tips no less.” She pointed out.

 

“Holy shit, be right back.” Deb said scurrying off.

 

Agnes and Shane exchanged amused looks.

 

“So are you going to answer my question?” Shane said looking back at Justin as she pushed Agnes aside to join them in the booth.

 

“What the hell is in the water here? Is everyone so forward? Not that it’s any of your business, but I didn’t take the job because I don’t think Mr. Kinney and I would work well together.” Justin said.

 

 _‘Oh we’d work well together alright, only in bed…not in the office.’_ He thought.

 

The shocked look on Brian’s face when he turned down the job offer was still fresh in Justin’s mind. He told him that as good as working for him sounded, fucking him sounded even better and he didn’t think they could accomplish both. Surprisingly, Brian agreed. He didn’t ‘fuck’ the help. Well, tried not to anyway. On those rare occasions when it did happen, he wound up firing the guy, he had explained to Justin. They both had a good laugh over that one. Brian then tried to leverage him with the fact that the job, and not the sex, was still the only offer on the table. Unfortunately Justin still had to refuse. Even though it was the first time Justin believed the man actually meant it. Which was disheartening to him to say the least. Underneath all the sexual tension, and obvious differences between them, there was an effortless fluidity in their interplay. They were well matched Justin realized. Each shared a sharp wit, sarcastic outlook on life, and keen intellect. But more surprising was the fact that they laughed easily together. Justin couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so easily with someone. True, he smiled a lot, and flirted, and demonstrated all social etiquette expected, but it was always more for effect, then genuinely felt. With Brian, it was genuine. He would miss that. So with a sad heart, Justin left, thanking him for his consideration, both for the job, and the sex. By the time he left Brian’s office it was noon so he decided to take his cousin out for lunch and tell her the bad news. She wasn’t taking it well, and apparently neither was one of his employees.

 

 

“Bullshit. You don’t want to work for Brian because you want to fuck him.” Shane blurted out bluntly.

 

“Sorry Aggy.” She added. This was her cousin she was talking to.

 

Agnes frowned and shook her head.

 

“Wait a minute, with all due respect, who, why or what I want to fuck is none of your business. Why does it matter to you anyway whether I take the job or not?” Justin asked in a perturbed voice. He appreciated blunt honesty, but these people bordered on being rude.

 

“It matters because one teen is already dead, and another one will be soon. Unless that is, you decide that saving a kids life is more important to you then wanting to fuck the Boss.” Shane returned, maintaining her rapid-fire line of brutal honesty.

 

Justin’s face paled. Unbeknownst to Shane, she hit a sore spot in him.

 

“What are you talking about?” He asked in all seriousness.

 

Shane saw she hit a nerve. When she first saw the blonde leave Brian’s office she knew he was perfect for the job. He was the exact type ‘dumpster boys’ assailant went for. If he took the case on, she was sure they’d flush him out, stopping him from killing again. She wasn’t about to let the blonde walk out on them over a fuck that he’ll probably get from Brian at some point anyway.

 

“I have this case…” she started to explain.

 

Several minutes later she had laid out the details of the case and her progress, or more importantly, lack of it and how Justin fitted into helping them solve it.

 

Justin listened intently the whole time Shane talked. ‘Fuck!’ He thought. He couldn’t walk away from this. Not from some kid, or possibly kids, being in danger. Even with everything that happened on his last assignment, he was grateful he did it. He saved those teens in that school, even though he almost gave his own life in the process. And he’d do it again, well a little differently perhaps this time, but he’d do it.

 

Deb came back to the table to take their order.

 

“Sorry about that. Rush’s over, what can I get you.” She asked.

 

Justin looked over at her and with a resigned sigh said…“I’ll have a burger and fries to go, and whatever Brian Kinney usually has for lunch to go too.” He said.

 

Agnes gave a gleeful yelp while Shane smiled triumphantly.

 

 

***********************************************************

 

 

 

 

“Horavith! Hospital called. Got a John Doe over there. Mugged. Beaten up pretty bad. Unconscious, no ID. They took his wallet, watch and any other jewelry he might have been wearing.” Detective Nichell informed Carl as he walked by his office.

 

“So why are you telling me? Send Lenny. I’m busy.” Carl said.

 

“You might want to take this one yourself.” Nichell said.

 

Carl grunted in annoyance and got up from behind his desk and approached the detective.

 

“What’s up.” He asked.

 

“Hospital security found a piece of paper in the man’s coat pocket with Private Dicks address written on it.” Nichell said.

 

Carl rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Want to call Kinney?” Nichell asked.

 

“No. Let’s do some legwork on this one ourselves first. Get a photo of the victim, and run it through our database for missing persons. Do it through our back channels, I want to keep this quiet for the time being. He could have had that address in his pocket for any number of reasons. At this point we don’t know what Kinney’s connection is, that’s assuming there is one at all. But the fact that a man was found mugged and beaten with Kinney’s address on his persons on my doorstep is too much of a coincidence for me to ignore.” Carl said.

 

“Jesus Carl you don’t think Kinney had anything to do with the mugging do you?” Nichell asked incredulously.

 

Private Dicks was a well-respected agency and they often helped out with department cases. Everyone at the prescient personally knew the owner and the employees there. Nichell couldn’t believe their chief would suspect Kinney of any involvement in this crime.

 

“What I think is irrelevant Nichell. I didn’t become Chief by not being careful. One thing this line of work has taught me is to expect the unexpected. Anything is possible. Do I believe Kinney's involved? Hell no. Do I know it for fact? No. So lets just take a breath on this one and do some investigating on our own first. And be VERY discreet. We don’t want to piss Kinney off. He’s not a suspect. Just a person of interest. With any luck the photo will match someone in our database. Then, if we need to, we can call Kinney in.” Carl said.

 

Nichell shook his head. The chief was right. Though he’d never believe in a million years that Kinney would in anyway be involved in such a low rate crime, it was better to be safe then sorry.

 

“I see your point. I’ll get right on it.” Nichell said.

 

“Nichell! Remember. Not a word to anyone on this. I don’t want anyone else in the department to know. Kinney’s got a lot of friends here.” Carl directed.

 

Nichell nodded his head in understanding. Though he knew in his gut that Kinney had nothing to do with the crime, he had a suspicious feeling that he may very well have everything to do with the victim.

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

Lucas Beauregard Manchester the third sat in the lounge of Private Dicks detective agency with a sly smirk on his face. He was early, a habit he acquired over the years. He liked to catch people off guard. A lovely woman with unruly strawberry blonde curls who introduced herself as Cynthia greeted him. She asked him to wait in the lounge until Mr. Kinney was ready for him then proceeded to busy herself behind the reception desk without bothering to inform Mr. Kinney that his one o’clock was there. Her actions told Lucas two things;

 

1\. His services were not that much in demand, else he’d have been buzzed right in. Which meant his salary   
negotiations would be more difficult and

 

2\. Mr. Kinney’s receptionist was hot when she was pretending to be busy.

 

Lucas was a man of many talents, reading people was one of them and the sexy woman was doing everything in her power, and very convincingly he had to admit, at least to the layman’s eye, to appear to be uninterested in him. However that little twitch in the corner of her eye, triggered by the muscle trying to refrain her eyes from drifting in his direction, was a dead give away. She was interested in him. And Lucas couldn’t say he wasn’t nonplussed by the revelation.

 

Reading people was just one of Lucas’ many talents, along with his equal amount of vices, or some would say. Though he didn’t consider them vices, just means to an end. Lucas liked puzzles. He liked solving them. He liked winning. And short of murder, or doing actual harm to anyone, Lucas considered all and any other means to achieve his goals within limits. Unfortunately the law didn’t always agree with Lucas’s interpretation of what was with in limits, and what wasn’t. Some of his past actions (done in the spirit of winning) had got him disbarred and suspended from active duty. The later didn’t bother him much. He didn’t much like police work. He was good at it, but didn’t like it. He did however enjoy being a lawyer. It appealed to the anarchist in him, in an obscene way. Being a lawyer meant operating within a certain set of rules. Which was always a challenge for Lucas. He was at heart a malcontent, who loved disorder and favored a society without rules. Incorporating his personal beliefs with his professional responsibilities was challenging to Lucas, and he thrived on it. Unfortunately he pushed his insurgent views too far in one case and ended up breaking the very rules his profession demanded he adhere to. It was an inner paradox for sure and illogical since he seemed to be constantly working at odds with himself, but that was Lucas. An anomaly. He just never seemed to fit in anywhere.

 

The prospect of working at Private Dicks appealed to him. He had done some research on the Agency and the owner. The agency itself would provide Lucas with the freedom he craved to work on his own terms, and the owner seemed to be a man who appreciated a certain amount of chaos himself. If his past was any indication. Like himself, Kinney seemed to never be satisfied. He went from one venture to another, conquering each before moving on. There was a hunger for…something. He knew that feeling, he just didn’t know the source of his hunger, or what it would take to satisfy it. Much like he suspected Kinney felt. In any case, he felt he could be satisfied working for Private Dicks. At least for a while.

 

The curly haired beauty lost the battle with her eye muscle and stole a look at him. Lucas was ready and disarmed her with a smile. She gave him her best, indignant look, then turned her attention back to her imaginary work. Lucas chuckled which gained him another, this time more scorching look. The heat in it made Lucas suddenly very uncomfortable in an odd sexual way.

 

“Cyn did you set up a meeting with Boyd yet?” Brian asked as he exited his office. His tone was brusque.

 

He was in a sour mood ever since Justin left his office. He was surprised at how disappointed he was at being turned down by the blonde, and he was kicking himself now for not at least taking him up on his counter offer. Though he knew in his head it was for the best. One slip, that’s all it would take and he’d be trapped in that blonde haired blue eyed trap. They got along too well and that would NOT due. Brian had a feeling if he fucked the blonde, it would only wet his appetite for more, and he already broke too many rules where it came to Justin Taylor; he wasn’t about to break his no repeat fuck rule. He was actually interested in the blonde and not just in a sexual way. Justin had a keen wit, and sarcasm, funny, intelligent, self assured….fuck! He had to get a hold of himself. Thoughts like that were not only non-productive they were down right dangerous. If he’d learned nothing from his past it was that thoughts like that led you down a road of pain and destruction.

 

“Um, no. Emmett is taking care of it remember? What’s your problem? Did someone steal the prize from your box of Cracker Jacks?” Cynthia replied with a raised eyebrow. A habit she picked up from her boss.

 

“No, but I just found out your name is missing from this week’s payroll.” Brian snapped back sending Cynthia a childish ‘nah nah’ face as he did so.

 

Cynthia laughed. As much as they snipped at each other, there was true affection between them. She was loyal to a fault to Brian and with good reason. She never met a more honorable man in her life, though some people would scoff at her description of his character. However those same people wouldn’t recognized true honor if it slapped them in the face.

 

“Oh, then I guess you’ll be paying me from your personal account again this week. Then again, with what you pay me, why don’t you just give me what’s left in your Cracker Jack box and we’ll call it even.” She retorted.

 

Lucas watched the exchange between boss and employee and smiled. Oh yeah, he was going to like working here. Now all he had to do was convince Kinney to give him the job. He stood up to approach the agency’s owner.

 

“Mr. Kinney?” He asked extending his hand.

 

Brian looked at the offered hand then back up at the man in front of him.

 

“Depends. Who are you?” He asked.

 

“Lucas. Lucas Manchester.” He responded with his hand still held out.

 

Brian laughed.

 

“What is it with guys with two identical first names.” He said, only the joke was lost on everyone.

 

Justin. Justin Taylor. Brian laughed inwardly remembering his first encounter with his blonde….'his blonde???'… FUCK!

 

Lucas cleared his throat.

 

“Actually, it’s Lucas Beauregard Manchester the third. But if Lucas Lucas is easier for you to remember, then be my guest.” Lucas said.

 

Brian took his hand and shook it. He held on to it a little longer than necessary while he examined, what he assumed was his one o’clock appointment.

 

“You’re straight.” He stated rather than asked.

 

“Is that a problem?” Lucas countered, maintaining their grip.

 

“It’s a blessing.” Cynthia called over from her spot behind the reception desk where she was covering for Agnes then immediately blushed when she realized the implications of her words. Mr. Manchester did not know the dynamics of the office or their Boss’s penchant for seducing gay male employee’s, he would surely think her remark was aimed at her interest in him.

 

Lucas turned his head towards her and winked. Brian caught the action and groaned.

 

“I can tell this is going to be interesting.” He said releasing the mans’ hand.

 

“Let’s continue this in my office. I’ve got your file inside, along with some questions.” Brian said.

 

Lucas shot one last appreciative look at Cynthia then followed Brian in his office.

 

“I’m sure you do.” He muttered under his breath.

 

 

*************************************************

 

 

 

“Thanks for covering for me Cyn.” Agnes said as she hung up her coat.

 

“Not a problem. I see you brought something back from lunch with you.” She inquired eyeing Justin as he hung his coat up along side Agnes. It looked like he intended to stay awhile she thought.

 

“I brought him back.” Shane said not one to be outdone.

 

“Why am I not surprised. I’m glad you did though.” Cynthia said smiling at Justin.

 

She only met him briefly when Agnes introduced them before they took off to lunch, but she liked what she saw. He was one person Cynthia felt who wouldn’t be intimidated by Brian. And she read his file the minute they left the building. He was a great cop. A hero actually. He’d be an asset to their agency. She didn’t know how Shane got him to change his mind, but she was glad she did.

 

“Thanks Cyn. Where is the Boss?” Justin asked.

 

“In with his one o’clock.” She answered.

 

Justin nodded his head then proceeded towards the office carrying the take out lunch from the diner.

 

“Wait, you can’t go in there!” Cynthia tried to stop him. Brian hated interruptions. Of any kind. When that door was closed it meant he did NOT want to be disturbed. He was either on a case, deep in negotiations, with a client, or fucking someone. And in NONE of those situations did Brian want to be interrupted.

 

Justin however, wasn’t aware of company policy, nor did he care and barged into the office over Cynthia’s objections.

 

 

“Hey.” Justin said announcing his presence.

 

Brian looked up at him from his desk with surprised and annoyed eyes.

 

“I’m sorry but…mind telling me just how the fuck did you get in here?” He asked trying to sound as irked as possible, even though part of him was secretly pleased to see the blonde again.

 

“I opened the door and walked in. Not really a hard concept to grab. I often find the simplest approach is the best. Don’t you?” Justin said then walked over to man who was sitting opposite Brian’s desk.

 

“Hi. I’m Justin Taylor. One of the PI’s here.” He said extending his hand.

 

Lucas, being an expert on reading people, observed two things. One, there was some serious electricity going on between these two, and two, Brian had no idea this guy worked from him. His eyes widened a bit in shock at Mr. Taylor’s introduction.

 

 _Interesting…._ he thought.

 

 

“Lucas Manchester. Who, hopefully, will be working here as well.” Lucas said shaking Justin’s hand.

 

“Brian, hire him.” Justin said turning his attention to him.

 

Brian actually gaped at him before catching himself. He then folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair.

 

“Oh? Is that your recommendation Sunshine?” He drawled in an amused voice.

 

 _'Sunshine'_ ……Justin’s insides did a little flip at the nick. He normally hated such silly sentimentalities like calling your lover ‘babe’ or ‘sweetheart’ but he knew he could live the rest of his life hearing ‘Sunshine’ roll off his beautiful Greek God’s lips.

 

 _'Lover…? His…?'_ Fuck fuck fuck!

 

Justin fought to keep his emotions in check.

 

 _‘..Emotions nearly got you killed once stupid. You don’t make mistakes like that twice...’_ his inner voice said.

 

Armed with his signature smile, he addressed Brian.

 

“Why yes, it is. Oh, and I bought you lunch. Bosss…” Justin drawled out the title mockingly.

 

Brian made a face.

 

“I smell burgers and fries. I don’t eat that shit.” He said.

 

“Burger’s for me. I got you turkey on whole wheat, no mayo. But if you’re nice, I’ll share my fries with you.” Justin teased.

 

Brian’s eyes actually lighted up at the idea of stealing some fries. He was a stickler with his diet, but every now and then he relished eating fatty high carb foods. Usually those times were limited to evenings with Mikey at his loft while they were both trying to solve one of life’s tragic problems with pizza and pot. But those times were few and far in-between.

 

Both Lucas and Justin caught the gleam in Brian’s eyes at the mention of fries and each secretly smiled at that bit of personal insight into the man.

 

“I’m sorry Boss. He got passed me.” Cynthia said from the doorway.

 

“I have a feeling Mr. Taylor is good at getting pass people’s objections.” Brian said tongue in cheek.

 

Justin actually blushed. He was being uncharacteristically ‘pushy’. But there was just something about the man that made Justin want to push him. Though he instinctively knew that was a dangerous game to play, he still wanted to play it.

 

“It’s ok Cyn. You can leave us be now.” Brian added noticing the discomfort of everyone in the room.

 

“So Mr. Taylor, why don’t you tell me why I should hire Mr. Manchester here?” Brian asked once Cynthia left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

“Because you’re going to need the help, and I’m going to be busy on the Kempt case.” Justin said his tone turning serious.

 

Brian sat up in his chair and put his hands on his desk.

 

“You talked to Shane?” He asked, all business now.

 

“Yes.” Justin answered.

 

Brian eyed him for a few seconds.

 

“You up for it?” He asked.

 

“Oh yeah. If it’s ok with you, I want to go out with Shane tonight.” Justin said.

 

Brian held his gaze while he pondered his decision.

 

“Ok. But we’ll meet before you go out. I want to brief you myself, and make sure you pass muster. This guys no fool. You’ll have to look the part to perfection. And, I’ll be there too. In the background.” Brian stated.

 

“Do you think that’s a good idea? You’re not exactly inconspicuous.” Justin said.

 

“Don’t worry I’ll blend in.” Brian said.

 

Justin laughed and boldly eyed him from head to toe.

 

“Oh yeah, you blend.” He said in a sarcastic tone.

 

“Insulting the boss won’t keep you your job you know.” Brian threw back.

 

“It’s not an insult, it’s a fact. You’re too good looking to be hanging out in a dump like that. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb. You won’t blend.” Justin said.

 

Brian didn’t know if he should be flattered or affronted.

 

“Listen rookie, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I know how to blend!” Brian said frustrated that he was actually having this argument with the blonde. He NEVER explained or defended himself to anyone.

 

Lucas was getting much satisfaction watching the exchange. He wondered if either man realized he was still in the room.

 

“I’m just saying…” Justin let his words trail off as he placed the bag he was carrying on Brian’s desk hoping the smell of the food would distract any further outburst from him.

 

Brian took one whiff and groaned. It worked. He was hungry, and craving some fries.

 

“Lucas. You’re hired. Go tell Agnes to bring you to Ted’s office. He’s our accountant. He’ll get all the paper work done. When he’s done with you have him send you to Cynthia’s office. She’ll fill you in on what cases you’ll be taking over.” Brian said dismissing the man.

 

“Excuse me, but who is Agnes?” Lucas asked rising from his chair.

 

“Our receptionist.” Brian said opening up the bag in front of him.

 

“I thought Cynthia was your receptionist?” Lucas asked a bit confused.

 

Brian sighed exasperated at the mans infuriating questions. They were keeping him from the fries that were calling to him; heedless of the fact they would cost him an extra twenty minutes on the treadmill.

 

“No, Cynthia was just covering for Agnes. Agnes is my receptionist and personal assistant. Cynthia is second in command here. I’ll leave it to her to explain the specifics of her duties to you, right now, I’ve other more pressing business.” Brian said ending any other inquires from the man.

 

Lucas knew he reached the mans limits so he just thanked him and left the office delighted at both his new job, and his new association with the curly haired vixen who caught his attention. Second in command meant they’d be spending a lot of time together going over cases, working long hours into the night…oh yeah, he was going to like this job….

 

 

 

 

Justin propped his hip on the side of Brian’s desk and dug into the lunch bag, pulling out his burger.

 

“He seems ok.” Justin said in between bites. Brian was busy eating his sandwich and sneaking fries here and there.

 

“Oh, are we having small talk now?” Brian asked throwing Justin a knowing glance.

 

Justin finished chewing and swallowed the food in his mouth before answering.

 

“Small talk is highly underrated. Besides, it’s safe. If we keep our conversations to business and small talk, I think this just might work out.” Justin said then took another bite of his burger.

 

Brian huffed out a laugh.

 

“Yeah, lets go with that. So does this mean you don’t want to fuck anymore?” He asked.

 

So much for small talk.

 

Justin nearly choked on his burger.

 

“Don’t be silly, of course I want to fuck you! I just don’t think it’d be prudent at this point.” Justin answered.

 

“Prudent? Who the fuck uses words like prudent? Besides, I’d be the one fucking.” Brian added as he snuck another fry.

 

Justin gave him a funny look. “Not that I’m opposed to bottoming, but what makes you think I wouldn’t be a great fuck? I’m an excellent top. You might actually enjoy it; that is if you can get that stick out of our ass!”

 

Brian shot him a warning glance.

 

“What? Bottoming beneath you? No pun intended. With your rep I’d never believe that you’d be so rigid in your sexual positions. In case anyone hasn’t told you, gay men, tops included, like a stiff cock in their ass now and then. It’s one of the greatest pleasures a gay man can experience. You should try it sometime. Oh and prudent was an appropriate word to use. I got 1500 on my SAT’s. Very high on verbal.” Justin added licking his finger of grease.

 

Brian laughed. He loved how Justin rationalized things. He had a razor sharp wit, and tongue. Brian wondered how that tongue would feel around his cock.

 

“Well Einstein, I’ll give you the ‘prudent’ argument, but I still top. And it’s not that I’ve never bottomed, I have. I just know what I like. You’d have to earn the privilege of topping me. But since we won’t be having sex, it’s a moot point.” Brian said.

 

 

“Hmmm….what do you say we table this conversation for another time. I’m curious about something.” Justin said snatching the last fry from Brian’s grasp.

 

Brian narrowed his eyes dangerously at Justin.

 

“Trust me, you’ll thank me later.” Justin said then relented and snapped the fry in half handing one half to Brian.

 

Brian took it and smiled.

 

“You’re just full of curiosity aren’t you?” Brian asked.

 

“Comes from reading the Enquirer. Inquiring minds and all…” Justin teased.

 

“That would be funny if I didn’t believe you actually read that trash.” Brian said.

 

Justin laughed a full, hearty guffaw. Brian loved the sound of it. It was genuine. Unaffected. He was starting to notice that there were two sides to Justin. One he presented to the world, one that was well practiced and polished. He had the perfect smile, the perfect laugh and the perfect line for most any situation. Then there was the side Brian was sure very few ever got to see. Brian, for some reason, was privileged to glimpse that side of him a few times now…like right at this moment. Justin was unguarded, relaxed. That laugh wasn’t his normal charming laugh. It was real and deep and for some reason he felt safe in sharing it with Brian. Brian was humbled at that realization. Humbled, and scare shitless.

 

“Ok, you got me. I do read it. It’s my guilty pleasure. I’m sure you have one or two guilty pleasures of your own.” Justin ventured.

 

He couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt just talking to Brian. He barely knew the man yet here he was, having a ‘real’ conversation with him and enjoying it. He knew it wasn’t just the sexual attraction between them. If anything that would only force Justin to bring his guard up even more. No, this was something else. This was a ‘real’ connection with another human being, and Justin didn’t know how he felt about that. Part of him was happy to realize he was actually capable of having a real connection with another man again after the incident. But another part of him was remembering the last time he allowed himself to get close to someone… And what it cost him. He didn’t trust that wouldn’t happen again, yet there was no denying there was ‘something’ between he and Brian. He only hoped he would be able to control it, before it took control over him.

 

“Fries.” Brian said breaking into Justin’s thoughts.

 

Justin gave him a quizzical look.

 

“My guilty pleasure? What’s wrong? Problem with short term memory?” Brian quipped.

 

“No thank God my memory wasn’t affected, just my motor skills.” Justin said before he realized what he was saying.

 

 _'Shit! Shit! Shit!'_ He thought. Why did he let that slip? He was way too comfortable in this man’s presence.

 

Brian caught the slip and a chill ran down his spine at its’ implications. “What happened?” He asked.

 

Justin sighed and started cleaning up the remnants from their lunch.

 

“Nothing really, hazards of the job.” He replied flippantly.

 

Brian reached over and grabbed his wrist stopping him from cleaning up, and forcing him to look at him.

 

“What happened?” He asked again, only this time his eyes showed real interest, and….something Justin didn’t want to identify.

 

Justin held his gaze for what seemed like forever. Brian held his wrist the whole time.

 

“I got marked.” He whispered so low, he wasn’t sure he actually spoke the words out loud.

 

But Brian heard him. His eyes grew stormy with anger and….again an emotion Justin didn’t want to identify.

 

“Tell me.” Brian said in a tone that brooked no argument.

 

Justin responded to that tone.

 

“I went undercover to bust up a drug ring at a high school. As a student. I fucked up. Let my cover slip and I got marked. Couple of the ring leaders ambushed me in the gym and took a bat to my head.” Justin said then shrugged as if to break himself from the memory.

 

“I got lucky actually. One week in a coma, some rehab time and I’m almost as good as new now. I hear the bat didn’t fare so well though.” Justin said reverting back to his well practiced ‘devil may care’ attitude.

 

Brian pulled on his wrist bringing him closer to him.

 

“Don’t do that with me, ok? It doesn’t work, and it’s really not necessary. I get it. Believe me I get it. Be what you have to be out there, but here…when it’s just us. Don’t. Ok?” Brian said.

 

Justin stared into his eyes. Their faces were just inches apart and Justin had the overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him. But he didn’t. He understood what Brian was asking him. He was asking him to trust him to be himself around him. It was a big request, and Justin believed Brian understood this. Could he do it? Did he dare?

 

“Ok, I won’t.” He answered before he allowed his head, or heart to dwell upon it.

 

Brian held his gaze for another few seconds before nodding his head in approval.

 

“Good. Now tell me what you mean by ‘almost’ good as new?” He asked.

 

 _'Fuck he don’t ask for much, does he?'_ Justin thought.

 

“Minor brain damage. Nothing that kept me off the force, I went back to work. Just sometimes my left hand don’t work so good.” Justin said then smiled.

 

“It’s a good thing I shoot with my right.” He added trying to lighten the mood a bit and still be ingenuous. He was dangerously close to Brian. Brian hadn’t let go of his wrist yet.

 

“The more important question is, which hand do you jerk off with?” Brian asked then winked at him before releasing him.

 

Justin smiled and pulled back. He was a little disturbed at how empty he suddenly felt when Brian released him. He missed the feel of Brian’s hand on his skin, and the warmth of his breath against his face….they were that close.

 

“Actually I’m ambidextrous. I can jerk off with either hand.” He said then proceeded to pick up where he left off cleaning up the evidence of their lunch.

 

Brian smiled and leaned back in his chair.

 

“Madonna, old western movies and lollipops. The kind with the gum inside. And if you tell anyone, I’ll have your balls. And not in a positive life affirming way.” Brian confessed his guilty pleasures to Justin deciding that one good turn deserved another.

 

Justin blinked a few times trying to follow Brian’s words when it hit him. He threw back his head and laughed one hell of a genuine laugh. Brian felt something melt inside of him.

 

“Bubble gum lollipops! Why am I not surprised?” Justin said between peels of laughter.

 

“Um because I’m a sucker?” Brian answered snidely.

 

Justin stopped laughing and leaned over the desk, bringing his face close to Brian’s.

 

“Only for smart ass hot blondes who are way too pushy for your liking.” He said winking at him before pulling back.

 

It took all of Brian’s will not to grab him and throw him over his desk and fuck him. This was going to be one hell of a relationship …wait…did he actually use the word ‘relationship?…, he thought. Hell being the operative word for it was surely going to be Hell working with Justin, and not fuck him. Though it was a Hell, oddly, he was looking forward too.

 

“Brat.” Brian finally said then rose from his chair.

 

“Well since ‘you’ve’ decided to work here, I think we better get you set up. Have you met Ted yet?” Brian asked as he walked around his desk and towards his door.

 

Justin followed him.

 

“No, is he as fun as you?” Justin asked.

 

“Oh Ted’s a barrel of laughs. Isn’t he Aggy?” Brian asked as they entered the office lobby.

 

Agnes looked up at the two men coming out of her Boss’s office and sighed in relief. They both had happy expressions on their faces.

 

“Funny as an audit.” Agnes replied cheerily.

 

“Audit? What Audit?” Ted came around the corner with Lucas in tow echoing Agnes words.

 

Brian walked over to Ted and put his arm around his shoulder.

 

“Calm down Theodore, Agnes was joking. You know, as in to make fun of? To jest? No? Nothing?” Brian teased his accountant.

 

Ted huffed and shrugged Brian’s arm off his shoulder.

 

“Audits are NOTHING to joke about.” He said in a dead serious voice.

 

Everyone laughed.

 

“No, but that tie is. Theodore, you’ve been taking fashion tips from Honeycutt again?” Brian asked.

 

“I bought him that tie. And don’t call me Honeycutt.” Emmett said coming up to join the small gathering of employees

 

“Figures. You’d have better luck getting fashion tips from that homeless guy down the street Teddy. Speaking of homes and lost souls….we’ve two unfortunate souls who’ve decided to make Private Dicks their homes. Emmett, Ted, meet Justin Taylor. Ted I need you to add Justin to our payroll. He starts today. Lucas this is Emmett Honeycutt. Best flaming queen detective this side of Xanadu.” Brian made the introductions.

 

“My my but aren’t you just delicious!” Emmett said addressing Justin with a leering glare.

 

“Down boy.” Brian warned.

 

Emmett shot him a curious look. There was a tone in his Boss’s voice that he never heard before. It was almost….territorial.

 

“I thought you said he wasn’t gay?” Emmett shot back.

 

“Lucas is straight. One out of two isn’t bad.” Brian said with a smirk.

 

“Uh huh…” Emmett drawled then turned his attention to Lucas.

 

“Please forgive my manners tall dark and handsome. Welcome aboard. You couldn’t have come at a better time. Things are about to get lively around here.” Emmett said extending his hand to Lucas.

 

“Thank you. I’ve heard it gets busy around this time of year.” Lucas responded taking Emmett’s offered hand.

 

“Hmph…sure does sweetie. The heat will be on….:” Emmett paused to look at Brian and Justin who were standing next to each other, striking a very handsome picture….”from more sources then one apparently.” He added.

 

Brian shot him a warning look.

 

“Jesus Em, I think Brian was right. Someone must be putting Viagra in your cereal. Wipe the drool off your face and get your ass over here. Mr. Boyd is on the phone asking for you.” Shane called over from her desk.

 

“Why is Drewsie calling your personal line?” Emmett asked wondering how Drew got Shane’s number, and more importantly why.

 

“I called him from my personal line and asked him to call me back. I didn’t want to use the agency’s line. He doesn’t know you’ve been investigating him, remember?” Shane explained.

 

“Drewsie?” Brian repeated the endearment with way too much mirth in his voice.

 

Emmett shot him a look.

 

“Well why the fuck did you call him?” Emmett asked. He was going to call him later and set up a time for him to come into the office.

 

“Because Romeo, I think you need a buffer when you tell the quarterback you’ve been boffing that you’re actually working for his wife. You can’t bring him in cold to meet Brian. He’ll freak. So I called him telling him I was a friend of yours and that we wanted to meet him for dinner. We can break the news to him tonight, in public, where he’s less likely to cause a scene, or kill us. Then, if all goes well, we’ll explain that we’re on his side in this case and convince him to come in and talk to Brian so we can work something out. Now if that meets with your approval I suggest you come talk to the man and confirm our date for tonight.” Shane said.

 

“Good call Shane. You going to be done with dinner early enough to meet Justin at the Red Brick tonight?” Brian asked.

 

“Shouldn’t be a problem. Action doesn’t start down there till after ten. Plenty of time to square things away with Boyd, go home and change, then meet up with Justin.” Shane said.

 

“Sounds like a plan. Justin and I will be at the diner going over some details. Give me a call when you’re ready to head out.” Brian said.

 

“Will do. With any luck, this should be over tonight. Got a good feeling about this Boss.” Shane said.

 

“Yeah, me too. Well now that’s settled. Em, you go talk to lover boy. Lucas, have you met with Cyn yet?” Brian asked.

 

Emmett rushed over to take the call leaving Ted and Lucas with Brian and Justin.

 

“I was just about to take him to her office. I was taking him on a tour first.” Ted said.

 

“Well tours over. It’s going to take some time to bring Lucas up to speed we’ll have to skip the honeymoon period. Lucas, welcome to your first day at Private Dicks. Looks like you and Cyn will be pulling an all nighter. I want you ready to take on some cases by morning.” Brian said.

 

“Not a problem. I’m eager to get started.” Lucas said.

 

‘An all nighter with that wild haired vixen....was the man reading his mind?’ Lucas thought to himself with a smile.

 

“Great. Let’s move people.” Brian said.

 

Ted led Lucas away towards Cynthia’s office.

 

Brian turned to Justin.

 

“Looks like we’ll be pulling an all nighter too. You sure you’re up to this?” Brian asked.

 

It was a lot to ask of Justin for his first day on the job. It could get rough tonight. Even though Shane and he would be there covering his back, they were still dealing with a murderer.

 

“Stop worrying. I told you I was ready. I want to do this. The sooner we get that creep off the streets, the better.” Justin said.

 

Brian nodded his head in agreement.

 

“Listen, I’m going to give Lucas Brad’s old desk.” Brian said.

 

“Chad.” Agnes corrected from her receptionists desk.

 

Brian rolled his eyes.

 

“Whatever.” He said.

 

Justin laughed.

 

“Let me guess. You fucked him.” Justin said.

 

“And you deduced that how?” Brian asked.

 

“Well first, his desk is empty, so either he quit or you fired him. And you told me that on the rare occasion you did fuck an employee, you ended up firing him. But that’s not really the give away. The fact that you can’t remember his name makes me suspect you fucked him.” Justin said then leaned in to whisper for Brian’s ears only.

 

“I sometimes have that problem too with tricks.” He said in a conspiratorial tone.

 

Brian threw back his head and laughed.

 

“You really are a brat.” He said good-naturedly.

 

“In any case, there’s only one desk to assign at this point. Until I order another one, you can work out of my office.” Brian said.

 

“Do you think that’s wise?” Justin asked.

 

“Nothing about this is wise. But we’ll just have to make it work.” Brian said.

 

Justin smiled a sexy smile at him.

 

“None of this would be a problem you know if you’d just stop playing hard to get.” Justin teased.

 

Agnes had to hold her laugh in.

 

Brian pulled his bottom lip in as he studied the blonde in front of him.

 

“Correction Sunshine. The problems start when I stop playing hard to get.” Brian said in a voice that was half joking, and half serious.

 

The half serious tone caught Justin’s attention. He had no doubt Brian was right. It would be like opening Pandora’s box the moment they fucked. He wondered, not for the first time since meeting the enigmatic Brian Kinney, how the hell was he going to walk away when all was said and done. Or more worrisome was the niggling question that was flitting at the corners his brain…would he even want to walk away?

 

Pushing all thoughts of ‘what ifs’ out of his head Justin automatically donned his detached persona and turned bright eyes to his new Boss.

 

“Hmmmm…Let’s see how long you’ll be able to play that game.” He said in a flirtatious voice then walked over to retrieve his coat.

 

Brian watched the young man once again pull his mask into place with a skill that was astonishing, and admirable. He wondered what had happened to him to make him so guarded with his emotions. Of course the attack had to have an effect on him, but Brian doubted it was the main cause for Justin’s emotional detachment. Some one had hurt him bad in a way Brian was all too familiar with. He wondered what it would take to pierce the blondes’ armor. What would he find behind those steel walls? And if he did manage to penetrate those walls, would he be able to turn away from he discovered?

 

As disturbing as those thoughts were, what was even more disturbing was the fact that while he was trying to figure out how to bring Justin’s walls down, he conveniently forgot that his own walls were impenetrable.

 

Justin turned back to him, coat in hand.

 

“I have to pick up a few things for tonight. What time do you want to meet up at that diner?” He asked as if there wasn’t this big fucking sexual elephant standing between them.

 

Brian laughed inwardly. The little shit was tough as nails, he thought.

 

“Nine. And save your receipts. I’ll have Ted set you up an expense account.” Brian said.

 

“Expense account? Wow…I’m in the big times now.” Justin said with a laugh in is voice then turned to leave.

 

Brian sighed and turned to Agnes.

 

“What is it with him Aggy.” He asked knowing it was a violation of privacy to be asking his receptionist and friend, about her cousin.

 

Agnes sighed and shook her head.

 

“That’s a question only you can answer Boss.” Agnes cryptically answered.

 

Brian raised a confused brow at her.

 

“Oh? What makes you say that?” He asked.

 

“Because you know exactly where Justin is coming from and why. You’ve been there yourself.” Agnes said.

 

The phone rang then stopping Brian from questioning her more. Which was a good thing too, he already overstepped his bounds. He turned and walked into his office, closing the door behind him.

 

With a will forged from years of experience, Brian pushed all thoughts of the mystery that surrounded his unnatural attraction and interest in the blonde and concentrated on their mission tonight. There’d be time enough later for inquires of a personal nature. Tonight, they had a killer to catch.


	3. Chapter 3

Brian walked into the diner, stopping briefly in the entrance way to shake the snow from his shoulders and to remove his gloves and scarf. It was just a light dusting outside, which was good because anything more would stop the Johns from coming out. They needed the weather to cooperate in order to flush out dumpster boys’ assailant.

Spotting an empty booth at the back, he headed towards it, throwing his scarf and gloves on the vinyl seat before sliding in.

“Hey Brian, haven’t seen you in a while.” Kiki, the waitress greeted him as she approached his table.

“Kiki.” Brian returned the greeting, rising once again from his seat to pull the Tranny in for a quick hug. She’d been on sick leave for the past several weeks.

“How are you? Deb told me you had quite a scare.” Brian asked.

He always liked Kiki. She was one of the few people on Liberty Avenue that wasn’t part of the gossip mill that ran rampant amongst the fags in town. She kept her mouth shut and her ears and eyes opened. He suspected the Tranny knew more truth about the residents of Liberty Avenue then all the rumors combined. If Brian needed to know something about someone in town for professional reasons, he went to Kiki. He trusted her information to be accurate, and he trusted her discretion. She never divulged confidence. She in turn trusted him not to reveal where he got his information from. It was a relationship that worked well for both of them.

Kiki made a face dismissing the dire sentiment.

“Just a botched boob job, that’s all. Soon I’ll have enough money for the other surgery.” She informed Brian.

“Aw Kiki now why would you go and remove the best part of you.” Brian teased.

Kiki laughed.

“A woman’s got to do what a woman’s got to do Kinney. Don’t worry, if you want I’ll have it mounted and stuffed for you. It’s ten and a half inches you know.” Kiki said with a twinkle in her eye.

Brian put his hand to his heart in a dramatic gesture.

“All that wasted!” He said shaking his head sadly.

“Wasted is right. I’ve no use for it.” Kiki huffed.

Brian laughed.

“Yeah well then stop teasing me cause I’ve plenty of uses for a cock that big.” He said.

“Hmmm…I know you do handsome.” She said then looked around slyly to make sure no one was listening in.

“Heard something today that might interest you,” she whispered to him.

Brian raised his brow. “Oh?” He prompted.

“Apparently there is a John Doe down at county hospital and for some reason Horvath doesn’t want you to know about him.” Kiki said.

“Now that is interesting. Thanks Kiki. I’ll check it out.” Brian said.

Kiki nodded her head satisfied she had done her ‘duty’. She’d known Brian almost as long as Deb did. He was a good sort, unlike a lot of the other self serving pricks around there. Not many knew it but he helped so many people on Liberty Avenue, including herself, without them even knowing about it. But she knew. When she got behind paying her rent because she spent all her money on hormone replacement and surgeries, an ‘anonymous’ person prepaid her rent for the next year. Things like that happened often to those few individuals in Brian’s circle. Though she didn’t consider herself in his close circle of friends, she and Deb had been best friends forever, and Deb was like a mother to Brian. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who Mr. ‘Anonymous’ was. That was why she was always glad to provide him with any information he needed, or she thought he should have. There wasn’t much she wouldn’t do for the man. They just didn’t make men like Brian fucking Kinney anymore she thought sadly…

“Good. Now what can I get for you? It’s after seven you know, that limit’s your choices,” she said.

Brian smiled at the waitress’s reminder of his own ‘no carbs after seven’ rule. He ordered a cup of coffee then slid back into his seat and waited for Justin to arrive. He stole a quick glance at his watch. 8:45. He was early.

Kiki came back over with his coffee when a ruckus by the door drew their attention.

“Hey dude, watch where the fuck ya going!” A belligerent young blonde boy snapped at a customer who was leaving the diner.

Kiki made a face. “Teenagers! Someone ought to teach them some manners.” She huffed shaking her head as she walked away.

The ‘teen’ in question sauntered down the aisle towards Brian’s table. Brian was having a hard time not laughing.

“Dude, nice five star restaurant you picked to meet. NOT.” Justin said then plopped himself down into the seat opposite Brian.

Brian leaned back in his seat and put his hand up to his mouth to cover his smirk. Justin was lounging, more like slumping in the seat across from him. A baseball cap turned backwards covered most of his blonde locks. He was wearing a tee-shirt with a picture of some music band on it that Brian didn’t recognize underneath an old army green bomber jacket. His jeans were dirty and hung down low on his hips. He looked very much like some 16 year old street kid. Brian was impressed and he couldn’t stop staring at him.

Justin rolled his eyes, in character, and snapped his gum loudly.

“Are ya browsin or shoppin? Either way it’s gonna cost ya,” he said, staying in character

Brian lowered his hand and cleared his throat.

“How much?” He asked playing along. He had to make sure Justin could pull this off because a John could smell a fake, or worse, a cop a mile away.

Justin looked away before he answered checking out the diner, exhibiting a short attention span, typical of a teen.

“Depends…Hey lady with the dick, who does a guy have to blow to get some service around here?” Justin called out to Kiki.

Brian sucked in a breath. Justin wasn’t fooling around, he was totally in character. Once again Brian was impressed by him. He was very skilled at under cover work. He had no doubt Justin was one hell of a cop. It made him wonder again, why he left the force. Something told him there was a lot more to the story of what happened at that high school on his last assignment then what Justin had divulged.

“Kiki is a friend of mine.” Brian said testing Justin to see if he would break character.

“My condolences,” Justin quipped.

“If you’re fishing for a discount, forget it. No two for one sales today Dude. Oh and I don’t take coupons either,” he added.

Brian smiled appreciatively. Justin didn’t flinch, didn’t break cover.

“Listen kid, you want service call a repair man. You want something from me, you better ask nice.” Kiki called over from her spot behind the counter where she was busy flipping through the National Enquirer.

Justin had to rein in his smile. _‘Another fan of the Enquirer’_ , he thought. Apparently Brain liked people with ‘inquiring’ minds.

He rolled his eyes again dramatically.

“Fiiinnnne…..!” He whined childishly.

“Lady with the dick, can I PLEASE have a chocolate milkshake?” He asked.

Kiki shot him a look that if armed, would have fatally wounded him.

“Kiki you’re right. Someone needs to teach the lad some manners. Get him his milkshake; I’ll work on his attitude.” Brian said.

Kiki looked back and forth between Brian and the boy then shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to make the milkshake.

“So...” Brian continued. “You didn’t answer me, how much?” He asked.

“How much you got?” Justin returned.

It was the right answer. The kids on the street, the pros anyway, knew better than to set a price before knowing how much they could squeeze from their John. Brian was growing more and more impressed with Justin’s abilities. He waved his hand dismissively and sighed…

“If I wanted a smart mouth, I would have stayed home and fucked my wife,” Brian said, keeping to his role as the typical John.

Now it was Justin’s turn to be impressed. He flashed Brian one of his million watt smiles. Brian had to physically stop himself from gasping at the beauty of it. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter in the booth.

“Ok, let’s try this. What will twenty dollars get me?” He asked.

Justin snorted rudely and huffed out a laugh. “The right to keep looking at me,” he answered.

“What makes you think I would pay more?” Brian asked.

“For one thing, that watch you’re wearing mister. For another, I’m worth it.” Justin said.

 

“What the fuck lady?! You milking the fucking cow or something?” he yelled out right before diverting his attention to some guy who just walked into the diner, “Jesus he’s fucking hot…” he commented distractedly much like someone of his ‘pretend’ age, and status would behave.

Brian was blown away by the demonstration Justin was giving him. He no longer was viewing the smart, sophisticated, well polished man he knew Justin to be…he was now seeing Justin exactly as Justin wanted to appear. A brash teen hustler off the streets.

Justin turned his gaze, his ‘bored’ gaze, back to Brian.

“We gonna do business or what? Night’s not getting any younger, and from the look of it neither are you,” he said, then softened the insult with a wink and big smile that was all Justin. The real Justin.

Brian swallowed down the impulse to pull Justin into the bathroom and fuck him into the wall showing him exactly what ‘this’ old man could do. ‘Stay in character Kinney,’ he reminded himself.

“Again with the smart mouth?” he said raising a brow at him, “One would think you’d have better uses for that particular orifice. Your witty repartee doesn’t impress me, nor is it what I’m willing to pay for,” Brian said throwing Justin a triumphant smirk.

“How much for a blowjob?” He asked before Justin could reply.

“A hundred.” Justin answered belligerently.

Brian gawked at him. No kid off the streets would ask for that much. Then again, every cop knew this and wouldn’t ask for such a high price if they were undercover. No John would suspect Justin of being a cop with this attitude. They’d think he was exactly what he was purporting to be - A smart ass hustler trying to make a big score.

It was a very smart move on Justin’s part to ask for so much, especially after the little word play they just engaged in. ‘Teen hustler’ Justin was making a point. A point he was confident, or perhaps cocky enough to make. Justin was well aware of his assets…which were his stunning good looks. There was no such thing as false modesty on the streets. The hustlers knew their worth and milked it. Justin was definitely going to get cruised a lot tonight.

“Are you kidding me? You’re a fucking street hustler. Not some high class trick from a male escort service!” Brian shot back as any John might.

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I said a hundred. It’d be a thousand if you called some escort service. But you probably already know that and are just too cheap to part with the money so you’re stuck with me. And that’s’ my price. One hundred for a blowjob, two hundred for a fuck. Take it or leave it. Believe me, I’m worth every penny,” Justin said with a stare daring anyone to deny him.

“And what makes you think you’re worth it?” Brian asked.

“Because I can suck the chrome off an exhaust pipe,” Justin shot back with a smug grin. He then lifted his left leg and dropped it on the seat opposite Brian, slouching lower in his own seat as he did so.

Brian looked down at the foot that was resting next to his thigh. Converses. He was wearing Converse sneakers. Brian almost laughed. They were one part of his attire Brian could see both ‘teen hustler’ Justin and grown up Justin wearing. He looked back up at Justin then placed his hand on his ankle while maintaining eye contact. Slowly, he moved his hand up under Justin’s pant leg and over his calf.

 _‘Oh fuck,’_ Justin thought. The smug grin fell from his face the minute Brian’s hand touched his leg. His breathing grew erratic. He dared not move. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Brian smiled to himself. He moved his hand further up till he found what he was looking for. His fingers traveled over the leg holster to the gun that was secured in it before he slowly removed his hand again.

The whole encounter lasted less then thirty seconds yet it was enough to cause all sorts of havoc inside of Justin.

“That’s fucking cheating,” he snarled under his breath.

Brian laughed.

“Hey, just making sure you’re properly protected,” he said.

“I’ve got some condoms in my back pocket too; you want to feel my ass up just to make sure?” Justin asked reverting back into character.

Kiki came over to the table before Brian could respond and slammed the milkshake down in front of Justin causing milk to splatter all over him.

“Hey!” Justin yelped pushing himself back and letting his leg drop down to the floor as he sat up straight in the booth.

Kiki smiled at him. “Oops, my bad,” she said walking away.

Justin glanced at Brian and they both burst out laughing. Both their masks shattered at this point.

“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Justin said.

This time it was ‘his’ Justin speaking. _’his’?_ Fuck! He had to get those fucking thoughts out of his head….

“So Boss did I pass muster?” Justin asked leaning closer as he took a sip of his milkshake.

“Uggghhh! I think she poisoned me.” Justin said quickly making a face as he pushed the drink away from himself.

“Nah, she probably just jerked off in it.” Brian laughed.

Justin coughed and grabbed a napkin.

“Jesus Brian that’s gross,” he sputtered.

Brian raised a brow at him.

“So you don’t swallow?” He asked.

Justin gave him an incredulous look.

“Of course I swallow, just not second hand cum from a milkshake!” He returned.

Brian laughed.

“When this is over, I’ll give you a proper introduction. You get on the wrong side of Kiki and I wouldn’t trust eating anywhere on Liberty Avenue,” Brian said.

Justin feigned horror.

“By all means then, you better make it right between us when all this is over,” he said.

“Speaking of being over, Shane should be calling soon. We need to get you ready,” Brian said.

“Here?” Justin asked looking around the diner.

“In the bathroom, come on,” Brian said rising from the booth as Justin followed.

Once inside the bathroom Brian turned and locked the door. A brief vision of pushing the blonde inside a stall and fucking him flashed through his mind before he quickly dispensed of it and got down to business. He opened his coat and pulled out the wires and tape.

“Take your jacket and shirt off,” he instructed Justin.

Justin flashed him a smile.

“Why Mr. Kinney I thought you’d never ask,” he teased.

Brian snorted. “Brat,” he retorted.

Justin undressed like Brian instructed. Brian’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of the flawless porcelain skin. Justin was….simply beautiful. He had to shake his wayward thoughts away, reminding himself that this was a life and death situation. He had to remain focused. As quickly as he could, he wired Justin up trying desperately not to think how hard and smooth Justin’s skin felt beneath his fingers.

As for Justin, he was having the same reaction. The feel of Brian’s hands on his skin was making him heady and he couldn’t hide the hard-on he was sporting if he’d tried. He only hoped Brian didn’t notice. If he did, he didn’t mention it, for which Justin was grateful. Several minutes later Justin was wired up and his clothes were back on.

Brian took a deep steadying breath and nodded at Justin. He then put the ear piece in and instructed Justin to go back out to the diner and whisper something to test it. Justin left the bathroom, grateful to be away from the close proximity of Brian. He didn’t trust himself to be in there any longer with the man. Being that close to Brian did strange things to his senses.

Once Justin was far enough away to get a good test signal he whispered in a husky voice….

“That was fucking hot.”

He then sauntered back to their booth and sat down. Brian joined him there.

Justin stared at him. “Well? Was the signal good?” He asked.

Brian held his gaze intensely for a minute before answering.

“Yes. It was…very good,” he finally answered and Justin wasn’t sure if Brian was referring to the signal, or his heated words. In either case, the way Brian delivered his answer made Justin’s pulse race.

Kiki choose that exact moment to show up slapping the check down on the table. She shot Brian a disapproving look.

“Really Brian, that’s NOT the type of lesson the boy needs!” She scolded having witnessed the two disappear into the bathroom. She then turned her back on them and stomped off.

Brian and Justin exchanged looks then started laughing.

“Fuck she is so hating me right now.” Justin said.

“Don’t worry about it. I said I’ll fix it. Now, let’s go over a few things. Shane gave you a good description of our guy right?” Brian asked.

Shane had managed to infiltrate the tight knit group of kids working the bars and street where dumpster boy got killed. They knew the kid, and more importantly, they knew the last John he was seen with. Though when questioned by the cops, of course no one knew or saw anything. After awhile of ‘working’ the streets, they took Shane into their confidence and pointed the guy out to her, warning her to stay away from him. There was a certain code amongst hustlers. They looked out for each other, as much as they could without it cutting into their bottom line.

“Yeah, she said he was about 5’8”, Caucasian, late 50’s, bald with a jagged scar over his left eyebrow. Should be easy to mark,” Justin said.

“But not easy to nail. Shane’s approached him a few times but he doesn’t seem to go for pretty dark haired boys. Kempt was a young good looking blonde. Apparently, according to the kids working that side of town, scar-face only goes for young hot blondes. You shouldn’t have trouble attracting his attention.” Brian said.

Justin nodded his head in agreement.

“So what’s your type?” Justin asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Focus Taylor. You’re on assignment.” Brian said.

“Not yet, technically. Once Shane calls I’ll be focused, don’t worry. Or is it you just don’t want to admit you got a thing for young hot blondes?” Justin teased.

Brian threw him a patronizing glance.

“I’ve got a thing for good looking guys in general. But no, I usually don’t go for young blondes. I like my men more muscular, and dark. And a whole lot less arrogant.” Brian threw back.

Justin laughed and Brian felt that little something inside of him melt a little more at the sound of it.

“Usually being the operative word,” Justin said.

Brian’s cell went off. It was Shane. After a few seconds of exchanging words, he hung up.

“She’s already at the Brick. She say’s action is hot there tonight. We might get lucky.” Brian said gathering his gloves and scarf.

Justin went to move out of the booth, all business now, but Brian caught his wrist holding him back.

“Don’t play hero, understand? I got your back. The minute you get in this guys car I’ll be tailing you. You have to provoke him to admit he killed Kempt but there is also a good chance he’ll attack you before admitting anything. You sense he’s going to turn violent, you signal me BEFORE it happens, got it? You’re trained to read body language, I expect you to use that training.” Brian said.

“Hmmm….someone has been reading my file it seems.” Justin said.

Brian pulled on his wrist tighter. “I’m not fucking around here, Justin….Just….be careful, ok?” Brian said.

He had to remember Justin was a professional; he didn’t need lecturing on how to do his job. The fact that Brian was doing just that was evident that he cared a little too much. A care he wouldn’t normally have with any other professional. But then again, Justin wasn’t just any other professional. He was….well fuck if Brian knew what he was but he was suddenly overwhelmed with a protective urge.

Justin smiled softly at him. His eyes grew serious, and tender. He leaned into Brian.

“I’ll be careful, I promise,” he said.

Brian held his gaze reading the sincerity in them then nodded before releasing his grip.

 

Half an hour later they were all in position. Shane was monitoring the inside of the bar while Justin worked the street. Brian sat in a nondescript car one block down listening to Justin find one excuse after another to turn down the Johns. As Brian predicted, he was getting seriously cruised. It wasn’t long before their guy rolled up to Justin in a beat up old Buick. Brian watched as Justin leaned in the passenger side window of the guys’ car. Brian knew it was their guy because Justin used the code name they agreed upon to signal Brian when the creep showed up.

“Hey Daddy looking for a date?” Brian heard Justin say.

That was his cue. Brian alerted Shane, who was also wired.

“Daddy’s here, 1991 blue Buick that’s seen better days.” Brian communicated to Shane then focused his attention on the conversation Justin was having with the man.

“Maybe. Take your cap off; let me get a good look at you?” The creep instructed Justin.

Brian felt bile rise in his throat from rage. He watched as Justin did what the man asked, shaking his head to loosen up his golden locks.

“You’ll do. Get in.” The guy said.

“Sure Daddy, but why don’t you tell me what you want first?” Justin asked.

“Why? You a cop?” The man shot back.

Fuck! Brian thought.

Justin laughed.

“Yeah, I’m a cop, got my badge here somewhere,” he said patting himself down. When his hand came in contact with his dick he said…. “Wait, here it...” he said squeezing his cock. “No, never mind. That’s not it. Sorry, must have left it in my other suit.” Justin said then snarled at the man.

“Get loss asshole, you’re wasting my time. And time is money,” he said turning his back on the guy.

Brian watched as Justin took the calculated risk.

“Hey, wait! I was just checking. We can still do business.” The man called out.

Justin took his time in turning back around.

“Maybe. My price just went up, you know inflation and all,” he said as he slowly approached the car again.

Brian smiled to himself. His blonde had some pair of balls.

 _‘Again with the fucking ‘his’! He had to stop doing that.’_

“How much?” The guy asked breaking Brian from his thoughts.

“Now?” Justin asked thoughtfully.

“A hundred bucks just to get in the fucking car,” he said.

The guy laughed this time. “Cocky little son of a bitch aren’t you?” He said.

“Hey, your call. Flash me a Ben and I’m in.” Justin said.

The guy must have pulled out a hundred and waved it at Justin because the next thing Brian saw was Justin getting into the car.

“We’re in.” Brian informed Shane. Her job was stay were she was and follow Brian’s instructions in case something went wrong, she would be their backup person on the outside.

 

Justin breathed in a sigh of relief. He almost fucked it up with asking the guy what he wanted too soon. Brian was sure to give him hell for it later, he thought. Then again, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. He’d bet Brian was fucking hot when he was mad.

“You look strong enough.” The creep said interrupting Justin’s thoughts.

Justin looked over at him. “Strong enough for what?” He asked warily.

The man shrugged and a chill went down Justin’s spine.

“Nothing really. I just like it a little rough sometimes.” Creepo, (a name Justin mentally gave this prick), said.

Justin stared at him for a good thirty seconds. This was his opportunity. He had to play his part good to pull this off.

“Hey, I know you! Oh Hell no. Forget it old man. Deals off.” Justin said as he reached for the door handle.

Creepo locked the passenger side door from his side.

“Let me outta here!” Justin insisted inflicting fear into his voice.

“Hey, why you getting so upset?” The man asked in an almost amused voice.

“Um, because I got a thing about dumpsters. I don’t want to end up in one!” Justin said

The mans grip on the wheel got tighter and his lips spread tightly across his face. Justin noticed the signs.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” The man said in a low threatening voice.

“Yeah, right. I hear you. Just let me the fuck out!” Justin insisted again.

The man shot him an angry look. “What the fuck have you heard?” He asked.

“That the last trick you picked up wound up dead in a dumpster! News like that travels fast on the streets. I was warned about you,” Justin said purposely provoking the man.

“It’s a LIE! I barely touched that boy!” Creepo said. He was getting really agitated.

“Right, you just fucked him to death. Now LET ME OUT!” Justin all but screamed hoping Brian knew he was still playing his character. It was too soon for him to be coming to the rescue. Creepo hadn’t confessed anything yet.

“It wasn’t like that!”

Bingo. Close to a confession.

“Yeah, ok, whatever you say.” Justin said knowing he’d get no answers if he asked any more questions.

With out any warning, Creepo made a sharp left turn steering the car into an abandoned parking lot. To the untrained eye the car following behind them would go unnoticed. But Justin noticed and was glad Brian managed to keep the tail without tipping Creepo off.

“Listen you little shit you don’t know a fucking thing! It was an accident! That boy told me he could handle it. We were playing a little with asphyxiation. He wanted to do it once I told him he’d have an orgasm like he’s never had before! Besides I paid him well for it!” Creepo said putting the nail into his own coffin.

“Yeah, sure you did. Enough to pay for his funeral? But did you have to throw him in the dumpster? Now he’s forever known as dumpster boy. Better you left him where you killed him, lying in his own cum…at least that would have been more dignified.” Justin spit out.

Creepo slammed the car into park and turned to Justin. Justin braced himself.

“I couldn’t leave him there. It was too close to my house. But really it didn’t matter where I put him cause no one gives a shit about a two bit hustler. Cops never even bothered to get an ID on him. In case you haven’t realized it yet, they’ve no use for your kind. They won’t waste anymore time finding out your name then they did that kids. That’s assuming they even find your body,” Creepo threatened then lunged at Justin.

Justin was ready for the attack. With a speed that shocked Creepo, Justin punched him in the throat.

Creepo grabbed his throat, making choking noises in the process. Then with a speed that took both Justin and Brian, who was just ten feet from the car at this point, by surprise threw his car door open and made a run for it.

“Stop or I’ll shoot!” Brian commanded, pulling out his gun as he took off after him on foot. But Creepo just kept running. The next thing Brian saw was a blonde blur run past him after the man.

“Fuck!” Brian cursed then took off after Justin.

The old man ran pretty fast for his age and it took Justin longer than he anticipated to catch up to him. Once he did, he flung himself at him, knocking him to the ground. They both hit the pavement hard. Justin made sure to use Creepo’s body to cushion his fall. Creepo however, working on pure adrenalin, pushed Justin off of him and scrambled to his feet again. Justin was caught off guard and landed flat on his back.

“Fuck!” Justin screamed as his head hit the pavement. He saw stars.

The next thing he heard were shots being fired.

Brian fired off one shot, hitting Creepo in the leg. The man still didn’t go down. He just continued to hobble along desperate for escape so Brian fired off a second shot hitting his other leg. This time the man went down.

“Shane, call Horvath and 911! We got two down. One gun wound, and one head injury.” Brian instructed Shane through his wire.

With shaky legs, Brian then knelt down next to Justin who was struggling to sit up. He’d never forgive himself if Justin was injured.

“Shit. Sorry Brian. The fucker was a hell of a lot stronger then he looked.” Justin said embarrassed that the man managed to flip him on his back.

“Yeah, I know. I had to shoot him in both legs to bring him down. How are you?” Brian asked deep concern in his voice. His fingers automatically went to Justin’s skull to search for blood. He felt the scar in Justin’s scalp that must have been the result of the attack and cringed inwardly. His fingers gently caressed it before moving on in search of any other injuries. He found a small bump not too far from his scar starting to form.

“You got a bump, but no blood.” Brian said looking down at Justin.

Justin averted his eyes. He felt the tender way Brian traced his scar and panic set in. He didn’t want Brian to be tender, to be….caring.

“How’s your vision, are you sick?” Brian asked.

Justin brushed him away brusquely. “I’m fine,” he said trying to get to his feet. Brian put his hand on his shoulders stopping him.

“You’re fine when the paramedics say you’re fine. They’re on their way. Until then, don’t move. And what the fuck did I tell you about not being a hero?” Brian asked.

Justin shot him an annoyed look. “I wasn’t being a hero! I was trying to apprehend a murderer who got away from me!” He shouted then grabbed his head.

Brian pulled him into his arms.

“Easy Sunshine,” he crooned.

Justin responded to the comfort in his voice and leaned into him.

“Head hurt?” Brian asked softly.

“Not really, just got a little dizzy when I yelled.” Justin said then huffed out a little laugh.

“I guess that will teach me to yell at the boss,” he said.

Brian breathed in a sigh of relief. He was joking with him and that was a very good sign.

“Twat,” Brian returned affectionaly.

Not ten minutes later the paramedics arrived with Horvath in tow.

“Here first, that piece of shit can wait.” Brian instructed the paramedics.

“This the gun wound?” One of the paramedics asked.

“No head injury.” Brian said.

The paramedic looked down at Justin who blushed in embarrassment. He hated the attention.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Good. Cause a gun wound takes precedence,” he said then started to walk away

“You leave and they’ll be two gun shot victims.” Brian warned in an ominous voice. The paramedic stood frozen to the spot. He looked to the police sergeant who walked up to them for help.

“See to the kid first. My men will escort your partner to take care of the other one.” Horvath said then instructed his officers to cuff the wounded man while the other paramedic tended to him.

The paramedic Brian threatened knelt down and examined Justin.

“I’ll be right here. I just need to talk to Horvath. Now you be a good boy and do what the paramedic says.” Brian teased then leaned in to whisper in Justin’s ear.

“And if you’re real good, I might give you a lollipop later. You know…the kind with the gooey center,” he whispered in husky voice.

Justin’s blood grew hot at Brian’s words. It was the first time the sexy brunette had even hinted at getting sexual with him. And all it took was a little bump on the head….

 

“Kinney, you better have a good explanation for this mess.” Horvath said once they were alone.

Brian cocked his head towards Creepo.

“That’s dumpster boys’ killer. I got his confession on tape. Justin went undercover, wired. He confessed the whole thing. Plus he tried to kill Justin.” Brian said.

“Shit.” Carl said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Shit is right. You owe me for this Horvath.” Brian said.

Carl sighed.

“Yeah, I know. And I’m sure you’ll be calling in your marker soon enough.” Carl said.

“How about you tell me who’s the John Doe down at county and we’ll call it even?”

“Fuck!” Carl said.

“Ok, we upgraded from shit to fuck, so must be serious. Any reason why I shouldn’t know?” Brian asked.

“Not sure yet. Why don’t we just get the paper work squared away on this case first before I fill you in on the other,” Carl said.

“Uh huh. Stalling. Ok Horvath, I’ll give you till Monday. Don’t want to fuck up my weekend with police drama anyway.” Brian said.

“Sounds like a plan. In the mean time, I’m going to need that tape, and a statement from you and the kid.” Carl said.

Just then the paramedic who was examining Justin came over to them.

“He seems fine, but he has a previous head injury. I suggest we take him to the hospital for a CAT scan. With head injuries you can never be sure, or too careful. Considering his past injury, I strongly suggest he gets checked out.” The paramedic said.

“I’ll take him, thanks.” Brian said.

The paramedic gave Brian a curt nod and walked away.

Brian went over to Justin who was now standing. He looked a little pale.

“Kinney! The tape and the statement.” Carl yelled to him.

“I’ll give you the tape tonight; the statement will have till wait till Monday.” Brian yelled back without looking back.

“You ok?” He asked Justin placing his hands on his shoulders.

“I’m fine. Really Brian.” Justin said.

“Good. But I’m taking you in to the hospital anyway. The paramedic thinks you need a CAT scan just to be safe, you know considering your past injury.” Brian said a little hesitantly.

“Kinney I need that statement before Monday!” Carl said.

“Yeah yeah and I need a stiff drink and a stiff cock tonight,” Brian yelled back to Carl, his eyes never leaving Justin’s. Justin’s eyes grew dark.

“Seems like a big order, but I’m sure I can manage….both.” Justin quipped.

Brian laughed.

“Kinney!”

This time Brian turned around and glared at the Sergeant.

“Give it a fucking rest Carl. You’ll get my statement when I get the truth about John Doe.” Brian said.

Carl’s face grew red. “Fine. Monday then.” Carl said as he stomped off.

Brian’s brow knitted together and a worried look crossed his face.

“What’s wrong.” Justin asked growing concerned.

“Not sure. But Horvath’s giving in so easily is never a good sign. For some reason, he doesn’t want me to know about this new case. That can only mean one thing.” Brian said, his eyes still trained on the Sergeant retreating form.

“Fuck. You’re a suspect.” Justin said.

Brian looked back to Justin. “You really are too smart to be blonde you know.” Brian said smiling.

Justin cocked his head and squished up his face as if he just heard finger nails being scraped against a blackboard.

“A blonde joke? Really? So cliché’,” Justin said teasingly.

“Hey, it’s late and I’m tired.” Brian said.

“Well then let’s get out of here. That drink sounds good.” Justin said.

“Oh no Blondie, not so fast. We’re going to the emergency room first.” Brian said.

“The fuck we are!” Justin said.

“Don’t argue with me on this. I told you the paramedic said you need a CAT Scan to be on the safe side.” Brian said.

“Yeah, well fuck him too. I’m not going!” Justin said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and studied the blonde. He didn’t know him long, but he knew him well enough to know he was serious. He wasn’t budging on this. Yet Brian wasn’t about to risk not having him checked out, especially considering his past injury. He had to find a way to convince him into going to the hospital. Brian was usually a very persuasive man. And when he couldn’t persuade a person to do what he wanted with words…well then there was always other means of ‘persuasion’ he was known for using on occasion.

After a few seconds of contemplating the pros and cons of his next move, he made his decision. What he was about to do, he was doing in the name of getting Justin the medical attention he needed, or so he rationalized to himself. With his mind set, he took a deep breath, grabbed Justin by his shoulders, and pulled him in for a kiss.

It’s only a kiss…. He told himself. But, as fate would have it, it turned out to be much more than a kiss. It was a revelation…one Brian could have gladly gone the rest of his life not knowing.

 

To say Justin was shocked at the sudden move would have been an understatement. Though there had been a lot of sexual banter going on between them, Justin would have never believed Brian would cross the line from banter, to action. The kiss took him completely by surprise. Unfortunately, because he was momentarily stunned by Brian’s action, it caused a split second hesitation on his part. He could feel Brian’s body tense at his lack of response. Justin remedied that situation immediately.

He pulled back just a fraction of an inch and looked into Brian’s eyes. He wanted, no needed to see desire in them. He didn’t want Brian to be using the kiss to get him to go to the hospital. Oh he was on to the man. He barely knew him, but he was so on to him. Fortunately for Brian, Justin saw what he was hoping to see. Lust. Pure and simple unadulterated lust in Brian’s eyes. The intensity of it made Justin suck his breath in. He’d never been so aroused, and just by a look.

“Oh God I’m so fucked…” he said right before he attacked Brian’s mouth.

Brian initiated the first kiss with purpose. He had a motive; throw Justin off guard so he would agree to go to the hospital. But all good intentions went out the window the moment his lips touched Justin’s. The electric sexual charge that went through his body at the contact took him completely by surprise. He’d never been so turned on, and just by a chaste closed mouth kiss! When he realized Justin wasn’t kissing him back, something inside him grew feral. He wanted Justin bad and wanted Justin to want him just as badly. When Justin pulled away, frustration ripped through him. His heart was pounding in his chest, and desire ripped through his body. He didn’t know what he’d do if Justin rejected him. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. The blonde didn’t waste any time in pulling Brian in for another kiss. Only this one wasn’t chaste.

Justin moved his mouth over Brian’s hungrily, forcing his lips open with his tongue. When he gained entrance it was like sinking into heavens warmth. Brian tasted like cherry and cigarettes. Somewhere in the back of Justin’s mind he thought the cherry flavor must have come from a lollipop Brian was sucking on in the car. One of his guilty pleasures…And with that thought visions of Brian sucking on something else invaded his senses. He growled deep in his throat and pressed his body against Brian’s.

Their bodies melded together as the kiss deepened. Each devouring the other like starved men. Hands entwined in each others’ hair, gentle and rough, grabbing and pulling, seeking more. Each lost in the magic of the kiss. It was as if the kiss became its own entity, controlling them. Both were prisoners to its power.

After God knows how long they stood there tasting, feeling and invading each other senses, words, unspoken words, fell from their thoughts and into their kiss. Words that had one common theme.

 _‘I need you….Please….don’t hurt me…’_

Though those words were never spoken out loud, it was clearly communicated in their kiss. Both men came to realize fairly quickly that there was much communication going on in their kiss. The need for each other. The awe at the intensity in something as simple as a kiss. The vulnerability, the fear…

“Jesus Christ Boss not again!”

Shane’s voice washed over them like a cold bucket of ice.

Justin jumped back as if he’d be caught doing something really, really bad. Brian turned from him and tried to compose himself. Each putting distance between them.

‘Fucking get a hold of yourself Kinney! It was just a kiss!’ Brian railed inwardly.

Justin was having pretty much the same conversation in his own head.

Shane stood there starring at the two men like she just saw a two headed elephant. Each man was visibly shaken. She wondered if it was from the rush of the catch, the danger they were in, or something else.

Brian was the first to speak.

“Give Carl the tape Shane. It’s in my car. I’m going to take Justin to the hospital for some x-rays,” he said turning to face her.

“Um, ok Boss. You ok?” She asked. Brian had a funny look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired; long night.” Brian said.

“Ok, well take it easy this weekend.” Shane said then turned to Justin.

“Great job Justin. We couldn’t have nailed this guy without you. Have I mentioned how happy I am you joined our little family?” Shane said trying to lighten the mood without mentioning what she just witnessed. Normally she’d be teasing the shit out of her Boss, but by the way they both looked, what ever just happened between them was no joking matter.

Justin gave her a tentative smile.

“Thanks Shane. I’m just glad that creep is off the streets,” he said.

“Yeah me too. I hope you feel better. You take it easy this weekend yourself. Lots of cases are waiting on our desk for Monday. Night Boss, night Justin.” Shane said then headed off to retrieve the tape.

Justin cleared his voice.

“I really don’t need to go to the hospital,” he said in a weak voice. He refused to look at Brian. He didn’t want him to see how shaken he was by their kiss.

“I know, but just do it for me, ok? I’ll feel better if you get checked out. I got you involved in this case. I should have been closer to the car when he bolted.” Brian said.

Justin did look at him this time.

“Don’t be ridiculous! It went down how it went down. You of all people know in our line of work, shit happens. You can’t predict every move a perp’s going make.” Justin said deciding that talking business was a very good thing.

Brian smiled a shaky smile. “True. Still. A cold, antiseptic hospital would do us both some good right now, don’t you think?” He said.

Justin blushed, “Um… Good point. Let’s go,” he quickly agreed.

The cold setting of a hospital was just what they needed to cleanse their minds and bodies of the heat of that kiss.

 

***

 

One hour later Brian was pacing in front of the gurney Justin was sitting on in the emergency room cubical waiting for the doctor to come back with the results of the CAT scan.

“Stop pacing Brian, you’re making me dizzy. I told you I’m fine.” Justin said for what must have been the hundredth time.

Brian shot him a look. “When the doc says you’re fine, then I’ll believe it,” he said a little more tersely then he intended to.

Since they got to the hospital there’d been a strange tension between them. Brian didn’t like it. He missed their bantering, the easy way they connected with one another. Fuck! He should have never kissed him. He knew the blonde was dangerous from the first moment he laid eyes on him. Now…well now he was fucked. He didn’t know what to do, how to act. All he knew was that he had to fix this. And he would. All he needed to do was NOT kiss him again. That shouldn’t be that hard….’Don’t think hard Kinney, don’t say it, don’t think it!’

“Mr. Taylor?” The doctor pulled the curtain to the cubical back breaking into Brian’s thoughts.

“That would be me.” Justin said.

“I looked at your CAT Scan. There is some minor swelling. It should go down within the next 24 to 72 hours though. Still, because of your past injury I want you back in Monday for another CAT scan just to make sure. In the meantime, you should not be alone. In case you have a concussion. If you feel nauseous or dizzy that’s a symptom you might have one. I don’t want you sleeping more than two hours at a time either for tonight. Do you have anyone home with you?” The doctor asked.

Justin jumped off the cot.

“Thanks for the advice Doc. I’m good,” he said then grabbed his bomber jacket and headed out without looking back.

“Mr. Taylor, I have to sign your release first. You can’t leave until I do.” The doctor said.

“Yeah, watch me.” Justin said as he kept walking.

“Don’t force me to call security. At the very least you have to sign a form stating that you relinquish the hospital of all responsibilities for leaving against the doctors’ advice.” The doctor called after him.

Justin stopped and sighed heavily. “Fine, give me the form.”

Brian decided it was time he took matters in his own hands.

“Stop being a fucking Princess,” he said walking up to Justin.

Justin shot him an angry look. One Brian never saw before. His eyes were deep cobalt blue with little specks of black in them. Brian thought he looked hot as fuck. He had to shake his head to clear his wayward thoughts.

“I know for a fact you live alone. I also know Agnes went away this weekend with Stephen for some romantic Valentines Day bullshit. So that leaves you with one of two choices. You can either call up Tina the waitress from the café and ask to crash at her place for the weekend, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to oblige you, though you might have to fuck her, OR… we can stop this childish behavior between us, admit we got carried away, and get past it. Come stay with me this weekend at the loft.” Brian said…. then leaned in to whisper in Justin’s ear…

“I’m offering some of the best weed, pizza and Jim Beam. Now how can you turn down an offer like that? Especially since I’m willing to break my no carbs after seven rule for tonight.” Brian said.

Justin cracked a smile and shook his head.

“No carbs after seven? Really? And you call me the princess!” He said teasingly.

“Well I could go for some pizza, providing the pot is good.” Justin relented.

“I’ve got connections with the police department, remember? I get the best shit from what they confiscate.” Brian said.

Justin laughed.

“Are we talking about the same police department that currently has you under suspicion for God only knows what crime?” Justin said tongue in cheek.

“Don’t be a smart ass, Blondie. But your point is well taken. Perhaps together we can figure out what the fuck is up with that.” Brian said.

Justin looked at him oddly.

“You’re not seriously worried about that are you? I’m sure it’s just some procedural thing. It’s obvious Horvath has high regard for you.” Justin said.

“Yeah, well never trust a cop.” Brian said.

“Hey, I use to be a cop.” Justin returned.

“So was I.” Brian said.

“Hmmm…point taken.” Justin said.

“Mr. Taylor, have you made a decision?” The doctor asked. He’d been standing by discreetly allowing the two men to talk privately, hoping the tall good looking man would talk the younger man into following his orders.

“He’ll be staying with me doc. You can release him.” Brian said.

The doctor sighed in relief.

“Good. I’ll give you a list of instructions to follow and then you’ll be free to go.” The doctor said then went over to the nurses’ station.

“We better order the pizza now so we can pick it up on our way to my loft.” Brian said pulling out his cell.

“I want pepperoni and anchovies.” Justin said.

“No fucking way I’m having those smelly things anywhere near my pizza!” Brian said.

“Well I’m not eating pizza without anchovies!” Justin retorted.

 

……..

And that’s how they left the hospital. Arguing over pizza, who gets the couch and what DVD to watch. Each blissfully content to put the kiss behind them, as if it never happened….The only problem with that was….it did…


	4. Chapter 4

“Ok, tell me again. What’s ‘its’ name?” Justin asked as he exhaled the smoke from the joint he was holding.

Brian made a rude sound in the back of his throat and pulled the joint from Justin’s fingers.

“Are you making fun of my furniture Blondie?” Brian asked taking a hit.

Justin laughed and Brian felt the vibration from the movement against his thigh.

‘I must be really fucking high to be in this position.’ Brian thought.

It was nearing 2 in the morning and they were sprawled out on the living room floor in the loft with Brian sitting up with his back against the sofa, and Justin lying on the floor with is head resting in Brian’s lap. They were currently smoking their fourth joint of the evening. Boxes of wings and pizza were scattered around them. Their guns, a bag of pot, a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of Beam and an ashtray overflowing with butts sat on the coffee table in front of them.

“No, seriously. I think it’s important for me to be on a first name basis with your furniture.” Justin teased.

“You have no sense of style Taylor. How can I expect you appreciate my Malmo?” Brian said.

Justin busted out in a fit of laughter.

Brian laughed with him and put the joint out.

“Ok, I think we’ve had enough. Besides, I really don’t think it’s a good idea getting high when you have a bump on your head.” Brian said.

“Oh, yeah, now’s a good time to be concerned.” Justin said sarcastically.

Both men started laughing again.

“I told you not to worry about it. One shot of Beam, and a couple of joints aren’t going to make me convulse or anything. I’ve had a head injury before remember? The fucking drugs they had me on then make pot seem like candy...” Justin said then sat up quickly and faced Brian.

“No, no… wait…make that lollipops!” He corrected then went into another fit of laughter as he plopped his head back down on Brian’s lap.

“That’s right. Let’s make fun of my guilty pleasure. Hold on while I see if I got a copy of the National Enquirer lying around here somewhere. Oh wait, what am I thinking? Trash like that could only be found at YOUR place.” Brian said.

“Yeah well listen up ‘Kojak’, at least I’m not a label queen. I mean, seriously Brian, who the fuck names their furniture?” Justin said the laughter still heavy in his voice.

“I didn’t name it! The Italian designer who made it, Morso, named it! So blame him. And you’re way too young to be referencing 70’s TV cop shows.” Brian said.

“Hmmm…Not as young as you think…However, we were talking about your penchant for all things designer. Aside from the pretentiousness of having a piece of furniture in your loft named Malmo, it’s fucking gay as hell! I mean aren’t those things for women who get the vapors?” Justin said.

He was having way too good of a time ribbing Brian. It kept them amused, and most importantly, preoccupied with ‘other’ thoughts.

“Oh no, you did NOT just call my Chaise gay, did you?!” Brian said feigning indignation.

Justin giggled.

‘He fucking giggled!’ And Brian thought it the most fucking adorable sound he’s ever heard.

“Ok, I’ll take back the gay remark if you at least tell me you’ve fucked someone on it. Then I could see the merits of having it in the loft. That could be kinky, and hot.” Justin said eyeing the chaise in question.

Brian snorted.

“Don’t be insane. I’m not going to ruin a twelve thousand dollar piece of furniture with cum stains!” Brian said.

This set Justin off again. He was laughing so hard Brian had to lift him up and tell him to breathe.

“Ok, ok…I’m good…” Justin said after several minutes in a breathless voice.

Brian gave him a quick once over, then nodded his head. Justin dropped his head back in his lap.

“You paid twelve…”

“Shut the fuck up. I can afford it.” Brian said cutting him off.

“PI business must be very lucrative.” Justin said.

“Not in the least. It sustains itself, but I’ve made other investments over the years that allow me to buy expensive furniture like Malmo over there.” Brian said.

“It really does have a personality of its’ own, doesn’t it?” Justin said after a few minutes of silence.

Brian looked down to find the Blonde studying the piece of furniture intensely.

“You really are high, aren’t you?” Brian asked.

Justin peeked up at him.

“Blissfully so, thank you very much,” he said smiling.

Brian laughed and laid his head back against the couch.

Justin went back to studying the Chaise.

A comfortable silence fell between them. The room became very quiet. The only sound that could be heard was their breathing and the rain that started to fall pelting against the living room window. Both men sat peacefully enjoying the tranquil moment. Each lost in their thoughts.

“It must be nice.” Justin whispered into the stillness after awhile.

“Hmmm…what must be nice?” Brian asked in a languorous voice.

“To be Malmo.” Justin said.

Brian glanced over at the Chaise.

“It is a thing of beauty.” Brian agreed.

‘Ok, they were heads in the clouds high now if they were talking about a fucking chair as if it weren’t an inanimate object!’ Brian thought.

“Hmmm….I’m glad you don’t fuck on it. Malmo is too pretty to be ruined by a fuck with some random trick.” Justin said.

“I agree. It would be a sin to mar something that beautiful.” Brian said in a soft voice gazing down at the blonde head lying in his lap. He was glad Justin’s eyes were trained on the Chaise. If he was to look up at that moment, he would see something in Brian’s expression that might frighten him…an emotion that Brian was unwilling to put a name to.

“Ever notice that people tend to value their possessions more then they do the people they supposedly love?” Justin asked out of the blue.

That caught Brian off guard. Their playful banter just turned serious.

“Depends on what people consider love.” Brian responded hesitantly. He didn’t know if he liked the direction this conversation was going in.

“Love. You know, like having feelings for someone? Don’t tell me you’ve never had feelings for anyone!” Justin said.

Brian lifted his hip and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet before sitting back down. He opened it and retrieved a small photo and handed it to Justin.

“That’s my son. Gus. He’s the most important person in my life, and how I define love. The only kind that matters. Any other kind is bullshit.” Brian said.

Justin took the picture and looked at it, then looked back up at Brian.

“I see he has your genes. He’s….beautiful.” Justin said his voice filled with awe, and something else Brian didn’t recognize.

“I didn’t know you were a Dad! Wait, were you married?” Justin asked.

Brian snorted.

“Fuck no. I donated my sperm to my best friend Lindsey. She carried our child. Gus lives with her and her life partner, but all three of us parent him.” Brian said.

Justin looked back at the picture.

“I bet you’re a great father…I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have a kid.” Justin said pensively.

Brian unconsciously ran his fingers though Justin’s silky blonde locks. There was a sadness in the blondes’ voice that bothered Brian. He wanted to soothe away his glum thoughts. And Justin was just high enough to allow Brian the intimate caress.

“It will happen. You’ll find someone one day just like Lindsey did, and together have a child. Maybe find some nice dyke lady to carry it for you.” Brian said.

Justin made a rude, bitter sound. One Brian did not like.

“Not very likely,” he said handing the picture back to Brian.

Brian took the picture from him, disappointed that the movement caused him to stop stroking the blondes’ soft hair and put the picture back into his wallet.

“Why do you say that?” Brian asked.

“Because I’ll never have the kind of relationship where having kids would be a consideration.” Justin said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and gnawed on it thoughtfully. The blondes’ words bothered him.

“Don’t you think you’re writing off the possibility a little too prematurely?” Brian asked.

“No. I know it won’t happen for me. The only kind of relationship I’m interested in isn’t the kind suitable for a child to be raised in.” Justin said.

Now Brian was intrigued.

“Really? Are you into alternative lifestyles? S&M? BDSM?” Brian asked.

This set Justin off into another fit of laughter.

“Not that I haven’t played, I have, but that’s not what I was talking about!” Justin said.

“Ok smart ass. So why don’t you tell me what kind of relationship are you interested in?” Brian asked.

Justin sighed.

“The kind that doesn’t mean a fucking thing,” he breathed out in a dejected sigh.

Brian took a minute to wrap his mind around what Justin just confessed. It was obvious he had some serious issues with relationships…another thing they had in common. He wondered what happened to the blonde to make him so bitter.

“Why aren’t you interested in the kind that ‘does’ mean something?” He asked cautiously.

Justin didn’t answer for a long time. When he did, it shook Brian to his core.

“Because I can’t feel that kind of love. I’m not capable,” he said.

Brian actually got angry.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course you’re capable!” He snapped.

Justin peered up at him.

“Really? What makes you think that?” He asked

Brian huffed, not really having an answer.

“I just know, ok. And you’re too young to be so cynical.” Brian said instead.

“Ahhh…I see. Didn’t know there was an age limit on cynicism…Listen just because you’re capable of lov…” Justin started but was interrupted by Brian’s outburst.

“Don’t be absurd!” Brian blurted out before he realized what he just implied.

Justin gave him a curious look.

“So you’re not capable?” Justin asked.

Brian cursed and reached over and lit another joint refusing to answer Justin’s question.

Justin rolled over and sat up facing Brian.

“Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to pry into my thoughts and not share yours. You started this. Tell me. Are you capable of love?” He pushed.

Brian let out a stream of smoke and cursed again.

“I love my son,” he said.

“That’s not the kind of love I’m talking about, and you know it.” Justin returned.

Brian looked away from Justin. He really didn’t have an answer for him. He hated to think he wasn’t ‘capable’ of that kind of love; that would imply that he was defected in someway. He much preferred to think it was his choice not to ever love again, but was it? He didn’t even know anymore if he was capable of feeling that kind of emotion again and worse, he didn’t know if he wanted to find out.

“It’s complicated.” Brian finally answered.

Justin sighed and lay back down, resting his head once more in Brian’s lap.

“It always is,” he said then reached up to take the joint from Brian.

“So, who was he?” Justin asked before taking a hit off the joint.

“Who said there was anyone?” Brian snapped back. The conversation was turning into a serious buzz kill.

Justin laughed though the sound lacked humor.

“You didn’t have to say it. It’s obvious, well to me anyway. I sensed it the first time we met. There was something about you that I related to. Some sort of…connection. At first, I didn’t know what it was but then it finally dawned on me. We’re both broken. Broken in ways that only a person you’ve invested your emotions in can break you. Causing you so much pain that eventually you grow numb from it. So numb that it’s hard for you to answer a simple question like whether or not you’re even capable of love anymore. Only another human being can cause that kind of confusion and self-doubt. No. You didn’t have to tell me a damn thing. I’ve been there.” Justin said sagely as he took another hit off the joint.

Brian was surprised at Justin’s insightfulness. Was he ‘broken’ as Justin surmised? Maybe at one time…yes, at one time ‘someone’ had managed to break him. But he spent so many years building up walls so high and strong that no one could ever ‘break’ him again, he’d almost forgotten why he built those walls to begin with. Almost. Justin was right. He was numb. Had been for years…

‘Until one certain blonde walked into his life, that is.’

Brian pushed that thought out of his head. Thoughts like that created cracks in the wall he so carefully constructed.

Justin continued to smoke the joint determined to get so high he’d pass out.

“So, who was he?” Brian asked turning the tables on Justin as he gently pried the joint from his fingers.

Justin groaned in protest.

“You’re getting way too high. You’ve had enough.” Brian said.

“Never enough.” Justin said.

“Don’t steal my lines. So, do you want to tell me?” Brian asked putting the joint out.

Justin sighed.

“Tell you what?” He asked.

“Who broke you?” Brian asked.

Justin grew very quiet and remained that way for a long time. Brian looked down to find his eyes closed, his breathing even. He sighed realizing the blonde must have fallen asleep. Not that he expected him to answer anyway. Justin already revealed more then Brian was sure he wanted to. Not surprising though. It had been a long night filled with adrenaline rushes, followed by a couple of shots of booze, too much high carb foods and some ass kicking weed. He was feeling the effects himself and rested his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes in the process.

 

z..z..z..z..z..z

 

“Chris Hobbs.”

 

Justin’s voice startled Brian awake. He was just starting to doze off.

At first, he didn’t comprehend what Justin was talking about, but then it hit him. Chris Hobbs. The guy who hurt Justin. The blonde must have been lying there the whole time debating whether or not to trust Brian with the name of the man who, according to Justin, ‘broke’ him. Either that or he was too fucking high and tired to know what the hell he was saying.

‘Chris Hobbs.’

The name hung heavy in the air like some foul entity invading his loft. He wanted to know who this Chris Hobbs was, and what exactly he did to hurt Justin so badly.

If he were a gentleman, he wouldn’t push Justin for more information. He knew that if Justin was sober and not so tried, he would never have revealed the name to Brian. But then again, no one ever accused him of being a ‘gentlemen’.

“What happened? Did you catch him fucking around? Did he steal from you? He didn’t give you anything, did he?” Brian asked not being able to stop himself.

Justin laughed, a low rumbling sound in his chest, as if he was in on some private joke. He raised his hand and absentmindedly ran his hand over his scar, his eyes were still closed.

“If only….God forbid he be that thoughtful. No Mr. Hobbs is responsible for this little baby here. A lovers gift…” Justin said his fingers tracing his scar, his voice filled with bitter humor.

Rage infiltrated Brian. A rage he’d never experienced before. His whole body tensed and Justin felt his thigh muscle tighten up under his head. He opened his eyes and looked up at Brian.

“Don’t be angry. I’m not anymore.” Justin said.

“Is he dead?” Brian asked in a voice devoid of emotion. Justin was too high to take notice.

“No, in jail.” Justin said, his eyes fluttering closed again.

“You met him at the school you were casing?” Brian asked pushing for more information.

“Yeah….” Justin answered. Brian noticed his voice sounded a little groggy.

“What happened?” Brian asked again heedless of Justin’s sleepy state. He couldn’t let it go; he had to know the whole story.

“Mmmm….Nothing really. He was my English teacher. I was posing as a sixteen-year-old student with a drug habit. He took a liking to me, tried to ‘save’ me.” Justin said then laughed bitterly again, only this time it sounded low and gravely.

“I was so fucking stupid…I should have told him to fuck off, but he was hot, and one thing led to another. It….we got involved. We fell in ‘love’. Oh, the whole nine yards of love too… Said he wanted to marry me when I reached ‘legal’ age.” Justin rolled so that his cheek was now lying on Brian’s thigh and he curled up as if he were going to sleep.

Brian reached out tentatively and ran his fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp, hoping Justin wouldn’t pull away.

“Go on,” he urged in a quiet voice.

“It was guilt.” Justin said in a soft voice.

“What was guilt?” Brian asked as he continued to stroke Justin’s head.

Justin sighed and leaned into Brian’s touch.

“Mmm…I started feeling guilty for lying to him about who I really was. So one day, I did the unthinkable. I trusted him with the truth. He freaked. Thought I was investigating him. I wasn’t of course, I was investigating another teacher who was the king pin dealer roping kids in to sell for him. I was in at that point. I knew who the guy was, and I had him. He finally recruited me into dealing for him. I had it all on tape. I never told Chris of course, I just told him my assignment was almost over, and that I had what I needed. I assured him that soon we’d be able to be together, like we planned. What I didn’t know was that Mr. ‘I want to marry you’ Hobbs was also involved. Next thing I know, I got ambushed. End of story…” Justin said. His voice at this point was very low and sleepy.

Brian’s heart pounded with anger and regret. An emotion Brian NEVER entertained. Yet it was there. Regret that the beautiful, intelligent, gifted young man lying in his lap was treated so badly, was hurt so badly. Physically and emotionally, though Brian knew it was the emotional trauma that hurt the most. He doubted Justin would ever get over being betrayed the way he was.

“How did you find out it was him?” Brian asked.

Justin yawned loudly before answering.

““When I was in the hospital, my Sergeant, Lewinski, came to visit me. He showed me an email Hobbs had sent to Cody Weston, the kid who bashed me, telling him I was a narc. Being very good in math…did I mention I got a 1600 on my SAT’s?...anyway I put 2 and 2 together and figured it out. Weston sang like a canary under interrogation confessing that it was Hobbs who ratted me out. He even went so far as to pin the idea of having me ‘taken’ out on him. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know, and don’t care. Weston got life without parole and Hobbs got 20 years for conspiracy to murder.” Justin said.

 

Brian reached over and grabbed the bottle of Beam. He was physically sick from the anger he was feeling. He took a long swing from the bottle then reached over and grabbed a cigarette from the pack that was sitting on the coffee table. He lit it, took a drag, then another swig.

“Bad shit happens all the time Brian, you know this. Let it go. I did.” Justin said.

Brian looked down at him, he was curled up on his side, using Brian’s thigh as a pillow. He was sure the blonde was somewhere between sleep and consciousness at this point.

“Have you?” He asked softly.

“I had to. Can you imagine holding on to something like that?” Justin murmured drowsily.

Brian just stared at him in awe. He never met anyone like Justin. He had such an inner strength and resilience it astonished him. Brian knew, deep down inside, that he’d never meet anyone like Justin again. And the irony of that fact made him very angry. He knew it was illogical, but part of him raged at God, the universe or whoever the fuck controlled their fates, for bringing Justin into his life just to show him what he couldn’t have. Justin’s past had left him so deeply wounded Brian doubted he’d ever allow himself to be that vulnerable again. And his own past experience did a pretty good number on him as well. It left him dead in places where other men thrived. Yet….knowing this, knowing that he could never love him, wouldn’t know how to, and that Justin would never allow himself to love again either, didn’t alter the fact that he still wanted him. And not just in a sexual way. Justin was his blonde…

“Tell me a story Brian.” Justin said breaking into Brian’s morose musings.

Brian laughed.

“You’re not five. You don’t need a story to go to sleep.” Brian said.

“Hmmm….yes I do. I really need to hear a story now. Tell me your story. Who was he? Tell me about him. I really….really need to hear it.” Justin said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in, contemplating if he should share his story. He knew Justin must be feeling very vulnerable right now. It seemed only fair he share his story since Justin just bared his life to him. Still, he hadn’t thought of ‘that’ time in many years and the only one who knew the truth of what happened, besides the parties involved, was Mikey. He didn’t know if he could retell it. If the words would come out. Fuck he hadn’t even spoken his name out loud in over ten years!

He shifted, suddenly growing very uncomfortable, and took another swig from the bottle, and another drag off the cigarette.

“Brian?” Justin’s sleep laden voice called out.

Brian sighed. As hard as it was going to be, he felt he owed the blonde his story. Besides, he doubted Justin was going to remember any of what was said this evening come morning.

“My story, according to anyone who knows me, is that I don’t believe in love. Don’t think it exists.” Brian said.

Justin snuggled deeper into Brian’s lap and sighed.

“Hmmm…But that’s not true, is it? You do know it exists.” Justin stated.

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s ironic really because it’s them who don’t know it exists. Oh they think they do, most people believe they know what love is when in reality they haven’t a fucking clue. They find someone who fucks them good more then once and think they’re in love. They get married, hook up, whatever, then when the sex isn’t as good, and whatever the fuck else they had isn’t enough, they split. And of course, they think this makes them experts on love. Ignorant fools. Deb has it right. She says love is very rare. It is. And if you’re unlucky enough to fall into its trap, it fucking changes you. Love isn’t flowers and kisses and happily ever fucking after. It’s not sacrifice and devotion. And it’s definitely not honest. It’s fucking deceitful and ugly and manipulative and it fucks you in ways like nothing else ever could. And I’m sorry you had to find that out Sunshine…” Brian spoke softly as if he was thinking out loud.

“He must have hurt you bad.” Justin murmured.

Brian put his cigarette out and placed the bottle back on the table. His mind wandered back to that time so long ago. A lifetime ago…

“He taught me well.” Brian said in a voice so low, Justin barely heard him.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I was fourteen. He was my coach and I wanted him. That’s what happened.” Brian said.

 

“Was he hot?” Justin asked. He was fighting sleep at this point. His tired brain was registering that Brian was revealing something very personal.

Brian made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

“Oh yeah. Very. I was young, and sooo cocky. Much like ‘teen’ Justin.” Brian said then gently ruffled Justin’s hair. Justin smiled against Brian’s thigh.

“I waited in the locker room one day until all the other kids were gone. That’s when coach would take his shower. The minute I heard the water running I walked into the shower room. He was washing his hair and didn’t see me at first. When he did, he just stared at me. He didn’t say anything. I took that as an invitation, so I walked into the shower, with my clothes on, and dropped to my knees and sucked him off.” Brian said.

“Shit! He let you?” Justin asked rousing himself so he could turn his head and look up at Brian.

“Let me…? He fucking loved it.” Brian answered smirking; his eyes alight with the memory.

“Hmmm….I bet he did.” Justin said smiling up at him.

“Is there any doubt?” Brian asked tongue in cheek. Justin could hear the smugness in his voice and laughed.

“Not one….I’m going to assume that wasn’t the end of it,” he added then went back to using Brian’s thigh as a pillow.

Brian took in a deep breath then let it out slowly.

“No, it was just the beginning. For four years, all of my high school years, we carried on the affair in hiding. Not because we were gay but because I was underage. He told me he’d wait for me. Said that it was ‘only time’. He promised me we’d be together forever…” Brian said and Justin cringed at the deep bitterness he heard in his voice.

“So, what happened?” Justin asked.

“Apparently forever lasted only until my senior year. Plans got changed around that time. My plans anyway. On the day of my graduation, the day we were going to come out as a couple to the world, he told me he was in love with someone else. Claimed he found his ‘soul’ mate.” Brian said.

“Ouch!” Justin said.

“No, ouch is a bat to the head. What happened to me was just a wake up call. I was in denial; I thought that he was just getting cold feet. I couldn’t believe he didn’t love me…not until his lover confronted me and gave me the cold hard truth. He told me coach was truly fond of me, and miserable about having ‘stolen’ my youth, but that he’d be more miserable if he had to continue to live a lie with me out of pity. He told me that people tend to love the one they’re with until their true love comes along.” Brian said his voice now was devoid of any emotion.

He was numb. Justin knew this because it was a feeling he was all too familiar with. When things, memories, got too painful that comfortable numbness would settle in.

“Well that was a fucking shitty thing to say to you. You were just a kid. He could have handled it a bit more tactfully.” Justin said inflicting all of the bitterness in his voice he knew Brian couldn’t feel right now.

“Doesn’t matter. Bottom line is he was right. People do love the one they’re with, that is until someone better comes along. And that’s what happened for coach. Someone better, more suited to his needs came along. He decided he had enough of fucking some kid. So he left.” Brian said.

Justin could feel Brian shrug his shoulders as if saying, ‘that’s life. Unfortunately, it was life. The shitty fucking part of life that left a man scarred. Though Brian thought Justin’s experience was much worse then his own, Justin doubted it. After all, Justin wasn’t a teen when he got hurt. He was an adult, and Hobbs wasn’t his first. Brian was just 14 when this asshole teacher took him. Though Brian didn’t say it, Justin was sure ‘coach’ took Brian’s virginity. He would also bet that Brian didn’t fuck anyone else for the four years he was with coach. It would explain his current rule of no repeat fucks. Fucking the same guy for 4 years got him kicked to the curb like yesterdays garbage. Fucking a different guy every night left little room to get hurt. The emotional scars that coach inflicted on Brian were just as deep as the scars Justin had. Both the physical and emotional scars. God they made one fucked up pair.

Justin noticed Brian had stopped talking and the room got very quiet again. He let the silence surround them for a long time before he spoke again.

“I can’t imagine anyone better than you...” he said.

Something inside of Brian warmed at Justin’s words. The blonde was half asleep, he surely didn’t mean it, was only saying it to make him feel better…still, it was nice to hear, which was totally out of character for Brian to think because he despised flattery of any kind, especially contrived flattery. But coming from his blonde’s mouth….well it was safe to say Brian didn’t despise it. He basked in the compliment.

“I can think of one person…” Brian said looking down at Justin.

Justin moved restlessly on Brian’s thigh. Brian reached over and grabbed his coat that was lying on the couch and covered Justin with it.

“Shhh…go to sleep now Sunshine. Bedtime stories are over. By morning, all will be forgotten.” Brian said.

Justin relaxed against Brian’s thigh and started to drift off. Brian too laid his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, forcing the painful memories back.

“Brian…”

“Hmmm…?”

“I really liked it when we kissed.” Justin said. He didn’t know why he said it, he just felt like it needed to be said. And right at that moment.

Brian felt himself get hard at the memory. He was surprised that Justin would bring that up now…surprised, but not displeased. He was too high, too drained, and way too fucking tired to freak out over Justin’s admission. He had a few choices here. He could ignore Justin’s remark and pretend sleep, or come back with some snide sarcastic retort, or…he could simply state the truth.

“Me too, Sunshine. Me too.” He whispered in response.

Now there was a confession he was hoping neither would remember come morning.

 

*****************************************

 

The next morning

“It’s fucking 7:30 in the morning! This better be good.” Lucas grumbled in a low voice as he slipped into the pew next to Horvath.

“Shhh! You’re in a church! Have some fucking respect!” Carl grunted in a hushed tone.

Lucas made rude noise in the back of his throat. He spent most the night working with Cynthia trying to catch up on all the outstanding cases. Not that he minded the time with the curly haired vixen, just the opposite. Lucas’s found her to be extremely intelligent and talented. She was a cyber technical genius. Lucas also discovered very quickly that she possessed a very passionate nature. He knew she was attracted to him yet she fought that attraction by donning her best ‘professional’ mantle which she held in place all evening. Of course Lucas took great pleasure in pushing her buttons all night which just earned him sharp reprimands with her vicious tongue. Lucas couldn’t remember a time he was more aroused over work. Ms. Cynthia was proving to be one hell of a challenge; one Lucas not only was looking forward to, but also for the first time in his life, feared he might not conquer. This of course only intrigued him more.

“Well, how do you like working at Private Dicks?” Carl interrupted his thoughts with his question.

“You dragged me out of bed to meet you here to ask me how I like my job?” Lucas asked in an incredulous and irritated voice.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that? Or are you forgetting I got you the job to begin with.” Carl snapped back.

“You got me the interview, I got the job.” Lucas corrected.

Carl snorted. “Trust me, you wouldn’t have that job if not for my recommendation. Kinney trusts me.” Carl said.

“Fine. I got the job because of you. So what do you want? A thank you? Thank you. Though you didn’t have to drag me out of bed to hear me say that. I’ll get you fucking 50 yard line seat tickets to the next Steelers game and we can call it even.” Lucas said.

Carl looked over at him. “You can really get me 50 yard line seats?” He asked forgetting why he asked Lucas to meet him here in the first place.

“Yes, I can. So can I go now?” He asked.

Carl smiled. “Not bad Lucas. I’ll take them. But I want something else from you.” Carl said.

“What.” Lucas asked impatiently.

“Information. I got you in Private Dicks, and as it so happens, I’m going to need ears and eyes on the inside. That’s going to have to be you.’ Carl said.

“Fuck you Horvath. I’m no spy. Is that why you recommended me?” Lucas asked, his temper starting to rise.

“Actually no, it’s not. I really thought you’d fit in there. However a situation has arisen that might, and I emphasize the word, ‘might’, involve Kinney.” Carl said.

Lucas gave him a hard look.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Can’t tell you.” Carl answered.

“The fuck you can’t. You want me to spy, but you can’t tell me why? Bullshit. Tell me.” Lucas said.

Carl let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine. A John Doe is lying in a comma up at county hospital. He was found mugged and beaten with Kinney’s name and address in his pocket, and nothing else. We don’t have an ID on him yet. And coincidently enough, on the same day John Doe shows up, some young blonde kid also shows up who I catch playing kissy face with Kinney. The thing is, I’ve always had problems with coincidences. Now it might be nothing, but until I find out who this blonde is, and his connection to Kinney, and Kinney’s connection to John Doe, I’m not ruling anything out. All I’m asking is for you to keep your eyes and ears open at work. That’s all. If you hear anything that you think could be relevant to the John Doe case, let me know.” Carl said.

Lucas frowned at Carl.

“I fucking thought you and Kinney were friends.” He said with heavy censure in his voice.

“We are. This has nothing to do with that. This is business. Police business. What are you getting all worked up over? I’m not accusing Kinney of anything. For all I know, the man had Kinney’s number on him because he wanted to hire him to spy on his cheating wife and her jealous lover found out and attacked him. Or he could have simply just gotten attacked by some random street mugger.” Carl said.

“You and I both know that both those explanations are more plausible then Kinney being involved in the mans’ attack. Investigating him is a waste of time if you ask me. It’s more logical to assume either of the scenarios you just described.” Lucas said.

Carl stretched his arms out and placed them on the backs of the pews and expelled a deep, heavy breath.

“In any other situation I’d agree. Under normal circumstances this would be a routine textbook case. However, circumstances here are not normal. To begin with, John Doe isn’t from the Pitts. Hell he’s not even from the state of Pennsylvania. I ran his picture through every agency in the whole fucking state. He doesn’t have a PA driver’s license. Motor vehicle ran his picture through their computer system and came up blank. I even had his picture circulated through the private sectors. No identification can be found anywhere in the state. Man’s got to have an ID card of some kind. Driver’s license, membership card…we even came up blank in the states missing person’s data file. No one’s reported him missing. So that leads me to the conclusion that Mr. John Doe isn’t from here. Which made me start thinking again. Why would anyone hire an out of state PI? Doesn’t make sense in any scenario. Discretion is a PI’s business, no need to go out of state to hire one. So if the man’s intention was ‘not’ to hire Private Dicks, then exactly why was Kinney’s address found in his pocket?” Carl asked.

“It is a mystery, I’ll grant you that. But it’s still more likely that whatever the reason, the man just got mugged by some criminal.” Lucas said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Still…. I got a feeling about this one. There is a connection between John Doe and Kinney. I know it. I just don’t know what that connection is, or how that blonde kid fits into all of this.” Carl said.

“That ‘blonde kid’ isn’t a kid at all. He’s an ex-cop from NYC. His name is Justin Taylor. He works for the agency. New hire like me. And as for him and Kinney playing ‘kissey’ face, well you know Kinney better than I do. I’m sure you know he has a reputation for seducing his staff on occasion.” Lucas said.

Carl shot him a hard look. “He fucks them. Let’s call a spade a spade, ok?” Carl said.

“We’re in church, remember?” Lucas said with a wry smile.

Carl made a face.

“Smart ass. But it’s interesting that Taylor is from out of State too. Maybe John Doe followed him here, or vice-a-versa. Maybe John Doe came here to warn Kinney about something.” Carl was thinking out loud.

“How about this novel idea….ask Kinney.” Lucas said.

“I intend to. When the time is right.” Carl said.

Lucas rolled his eyes. Which was lost on Carl since he was watching the Priest walk up to the alter.

Fucking detectives, Lucas thought. Always looking under every fucking rock for something they only need to look in front of their face to find. He liked to call it the ‘Colombo’ syndrome.

“So, until then, you just keep your eyes and ears open and report back to me.” Carl said.

Lucas got up to leave. “I’ll do you this favor Carl, since you did get me the job. I won’t tell Kinney about this meeting.” He said then turned to leave.

Carl got up, made the sign of the cross, and then followed Lucas. Once they were outside the church, Carl grabbed Lucas’s arm and swung him around.

“Sorry Luc, you don’t get to turn me down. You owe me. I buried your file when IA came snooping around after our books didn’t add up because you were dipping into police funds to entertain prostitutes.” Carl threatened.

Lucas pulled his arm from Carl’s grasp.

“I was told it was petty cash! And trust me, those whores were about as petty as they cum.” Lucas smirked.

Carl didn’t appreciate his humor and it showed on his face.

Lucas again rolled his eyes, and this time Carl saw it.

“I don’t owe you a fucking thing. I got kicked off the force for that and I paid the money back. Remember?” Lucas said.

“You got suspended, not fired. You were encouraged to leave so I wouldn’t have to pursue it future. Thanks to me, none of the incident is in your file.” Carl pointed out.

Lucas shrugged. “So put it in my file, why should I give a fuck?” He said.

“Because if I hand your file to IA, with that incident in it, they can still prosecute. You could be looking at some time Luc.” Carl warned.

Lucas hesitated for a moment. ‘Fuck!’ He was a lawyer, he knew Carl spoke the truth. Internal Affairs took shit like his little indiscretion real seriously. He defended a few cops brought up on charges of embezzlement. And even though it was only a few hundreds dollars, and he paid it back, it was still a cop using department funds for personal reasons. That made him a dirty cop, and there was nothing IA hated more than a dirty cop. DA’s went all out to prosecute these types of cases.

“Tell me Horvath, does Kinney know how ‘good’ a friend you are to him?” He asked acidly.

Carl’s face grew tight. “Whether you believe it or not, I am his friend. I’m doing this for him.” He said.

Lucas laughed bitterly. “Yeah, well, let’s make a point not be friends ok? Your idea of friendship is fucking perverted.” He said.

“So, we’re clear?” Carl said opting not to argue the merits of his actions with the man. He knew on the surface it looked like he was after Brian, but the truth was, he was more concerned with the sudden appearance of Justin Taylor in Brian’s life. An ex-cop from NY would know how to attack a man and make it look like a mugging. He needed to get some background information on Taylor. There were only two things he knew for sure at this point. One, both Justin Taylor and John Doe were from out of state, each arriving in the Pitts around the same time, and two, they both knew Brian Kinney.

“Yeah, we’re clear.” Lucas said then left Horvath’s standing on the church steps. He needed to get away from him fast. Very little made him sick these days. He’d pretty much seen it all, and done it all. Some things he wasn’t proud of, some things illegal, and usually always in pursuit of his own self interest. But this was one instance where he just couldn’t stomach the idea of getting involved in, even if it was to serve the ultimate self interest. Keeping his ass out of jail.

He turned the corner and pulled out a cigarette from his coat pocket and lit it while he waited for the light to turn green before crossing.

“Fuck! And I was just starting to like the job too.” He muttered under his breath making his decision the same moment the light turned green.

 

***********************************

 

Justin burrowed his body deeper into the cushioned surface beneath him vaguely wondering why the floor felt so soft. His sleepy brain however gave no heed to such concerns as he sunk further into the softness.

Brian felt the movement and turned to stare at the sleeping blonde beside him. He was curled up in his bed, with his back to him. Around five this morning Brian had gently picked Justin up and carried him to his bed. He knew if he let them both sleep on the floor they’d be sore as hell in the morning. Of course he could have just placed Justin on the couch, but what fun would that be?

Justin moaned in his sleep and Brian wondered what dreams he was having. He scooted closer to him, almost to the point of spooning and reached out to stroke his hair. He found in the last 24 hours that he was quickly becoming addicted to the feel of the silky blonde locks sliding through his fingers. Justin moaned again and pushed back bringing his body in contact with Brian’s. Brian stilled his hand waiting to see if Justin would wake. If the hard on poking into his back didn’t wake him, nothing would. Justin didn’t move. Brian sighed in relief and continued to stroke his hair. He looked over at the clock on the bedside table. It was nearing 9 in the morning. He’d been up for an hour already, just watching Justin sleep. He seemed so at peace right now, Brian didn’t want to wake him. Ok, that wasn’t completely true. Part of him wanted to wake him and fuck him. But that was a given from the first moment he laid eyes on him. What wasn’t foreseeable was this…whatever the fuck feelings he had that made him happy just to run his fingers through his hair and watch him sleep.

Justin let out another salacious little moan and turned over on his back. Brian pulled his hand away but continued to stare at him. Justin stretched lazily as his eyes fluttered open. Brian could see the confusion in them.

“Hey.” Brian said in a soft voice so not to startle him.

Justin turned his head towards Brian.

“Hey.” He replied smiling a sleepy smile at him.

Brian wanted to lean over and capture that smile with his lips.

“How did I get here?” Justin asked stretching again into the softness of the mattress.

“I carried you. I didn’t think you’d appreciate sleeping on hard wood all night.” Brian said.

Justin turned his head to scan Brian’s body, his eyes resting on his morning hard on.

“There’s something to be said for hard wood.” He said, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

Brian’s eyes grew dark and his lips curved into a sensual smile. Justin remembered seeing that look before. It was the one Brian gave him right before they kissed. He was inexcusably frightened by it, yet unable to turn away from it. Brian pushed himself up and threw his leg and arm over Justin’s body, holding himself up so that his body wasn’t actually touching Justin’s, yet still effectively pinning him beneath him. Justin starred up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Wha..at are you doing?” He asked in a shaky voice.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Brian said.

Justin’s heart raced, his pulse quickened. He placed his hands on Brian’s chest in an attempt to stop him.

“Brian we can’t.” He said.

“Why?” Brian asked.

“You know why. I told you I can’t do relationships, and don’t say it’s just a kiss! We both know that’s not true.” Justin replied in a voice filled with remorse because he wanted nothing more then to kiss Brian, but he knew it wouldn’t stop there. They would end up fucking and with how they each felt about sex and relationships; it would mean the end of theirs. He didn’t want to lose Brian and if that meant he could only have him as a friend, then he’d take it. Though they’ve only known each other a short time, other than Daphne, his best friend back in NY, Justin never met a person he felt so comfortable with. They had an effortless rapport with each other and Justin did not want to jeopardize their budding friendship by complicating it with sex. No matter how much he wanted him. And oh God did he want him…

“What if I told you I could give you what you want?” Brian asked

Justin eyes widened in shock. ‘What the fuck?! Either he’s a fucking mind reader or I’m that obvious!’ Justin mentally groused.

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

“A relationship that doesn’t mean a fucking thing.” Brian said quoting Justin’s words from last night.

Justin brought his hands up to cover his face and groaned.

“Fuck! You remembered that?!” He asked.

Brian pulled his hands from his face and peered into his eyes.

“Yes, I remember. So if you meant it, then I’m offering it.” Brian said.

“How? It’s not possible; we already ‘mean’ something to each other! We’re friends and co-workers. Wait, we are friends, right? I mean you don’t want to end that, do you?” Justin asked nervously.

“No, I don’t. In fact I’m enjoying our friendship very much. But let’s be honest here. We’re both sexually attracted to each other. If we don’t do something about it, it’s going to affect our friendship. We’ll become frustrated and testy, finding fault with the other.” Brian rationalized.

“And if we have sex then what? What does it mean?” Justin asked cautiously.

“Not a fucking thing…like you said. You wanted a relationship that didn’t mean a fucking thing. Well as I see it, that pretty much means you want someone you can fuck who won’t give you bullshit or make demands. I can do that. Actually I’m very good at doing that. When we fuck, we fuck. As soon as we’re done fucking, it’s back to being friends and co-workers. Think about it Justin, sex with no worries. Sounds appealing, doesn’t it?” Brian asked.

But Justin wasn’t ready to give in so easily.

“I already enjoy sex without worry. I get off, then walk away.” Justin said.

However Justin’s reluctance did not deter Brian. If anything, his eyes grew darker with desire and his pulse quicken even more.

“Pity.” Brian said.

Justin narrowed his eyes. He was feeling quite vulnerable at the moment, and he fucking hated feeling that way.

“Pity? No, pity is for poor orphaned children, or starving homeless people. There is nothing to pity about me. So save your pity for someone who actually needs it.” Justin snarled defiantly.

Brian heard the resentment in his voice, but he also knew where it was coming from. Justin was scared. Scared of what it would mean if they were to fuck. Brian had reservations himself, but his lust, his desire for the blonde was over riding all other emotions. He had to have him, and damn the consequences! He’d deal with them later.

He laughed in Justin’s face, which only inflamed Justin more, which of course, only made Brian harder. He was discovering a lot of things about his blonde, and one of them was that his desire peaked when Justin got angry.

“You are a feisty little shit aren’t you?” Brian said.

Justin twisted to get away from under him but Brian held firm.

“Relax. I wasn’t pitying you, well, not in the way you think. I was thinking what a pity it is that you find someone you enjoy having sex with, but then have to discard him. Good fucks aren’t that easy to find. When you meet someone who you connect with on a sexual level, you hate to let him go, even though you know you have to. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. You forget I’ve never had a fuck buddy either.” Brian said.

Justin stopped his struggles and starred up at Brian.

“You want to be fuck buddies?” He asked incredulously.

Justin had never considered the possibility of having a fuck buddy before. Since the incident, Justin had a hard time trusting people. And he certainly never trusted anyone enough to have that kind of relationship with. In many ways, Brian was right. It was exactly the kind of relationship he could handle. One that didn’t mean a fucking thing…well past fucking that was. Now the only question was… did he trust Brian enough to have that kind of relationship with? The answer came quickly to him. Yes, he did. Mainly because they shared an experience that taught them how dangerous love was, and he was sure neither would let themselves fall into that horrid trap again. And to be honest, it was nice to think he could have a steady fuck buddy. It was getting tiresome finding decent fuckable men, and then having found one, knowing he’d have to discard him. Damned nuisance. Plus being fuck buddies didn’t mean they each still couldn’t trick. Fuck buddies were allowed to trick outside the relationship….weren’t they?

 

“You think too much. It’s really simple Blondie. No ties, no demands, no promises. Just two people enjoying each other, giving each other pleasure then leaving it where it belongs. In the bedroom…or the backroom of Babylon, or the bathroom of some public building, or if you’re into it… the bathhouse, maybe a private club I know that caters to certain kinks…”

Justin let out a small giggle at that last suggestion.

‘Again with that fucking adorable giggle!’ Brian thought as his morning hard on grew bigger, if that were possible.

“Kinks, huh?” Justin said, his voice dipping lower.

Brian could see the lust shine in his blue eyes. His skin was flushed, and his breathing became a little more erratic. He lowered his body so Justin could feel the evidence of his desire. Their lips were mere inches apart.

“Anything you want Sunshine.” Brian said.

Justin pushed up impulsively making Brian aware of his own growing need. Brian hissed at the contact and closed the gap between their lips.

The kiss was chaste yet sexually charged. Brian’s whole body tensed. He slowly moved his lips back and forth against Justin’s full moist ones sending jolts of lascivious sensations coursing through their veins.

Justin was stunned at the feelings Brian was invoking. He was awestruck by the erotic nature of the simple act of the mere brushing of lips together. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around Brian’s neck, he felt Brian smile against his mouth. He never felt someone smile….The feeling was odd and intoxicating.

 

Brian’s body was buzzing with need. He couldn’t remember a time he felt so…alive. He wanted this moment to last yet his body yearned for more. He moved his mouth along Justin’s cheek, leaving a trail of saliva from the tip of his tongue, to his ear where he proceeded to trace his lobe with his tongue. Justin moaned deeply and turned his head to give Brian better access. Brian dipped his tongue into Justin’s ear, then retreated, then repeated the action imitating a more carnal act he was planning on committing very soon.

Without stopping his assault on Justin’s ear, he moved his hands under Justin’s shirt and gently pulled it up; his fingers brushed lightly against his skin on their ascent.

Justin’s body jerked at the contact. He squirmed away laughing.

Brian pulled back and sat up on his haunches, his knees on either side of Justin’s legs and looked down at him, stunned by his reaction.

“Are you ticklish Sunshine?” He asked then lightly traced circles around the tender flesh of Justin’s sides with his fingers to test his theory.

“Brian stop!!” Justin shrieked in laughter this time.

Brian smiled widely ecstatic at this new discovery of his blonde. He simply could not resist the temptation and started tickling Justin all over.

Justin shrieked louder and tried to roll away but couldn’t. Brian kept pulling him back, tormenting him mercilessly.

“Bri…I …STOP!!!” Justin yelped and grabbed on to Brian’s wrists pulling his hands away from his flesh. He was fighting to catch his breath from laughing so hard.  
Brian took the opportunity to lean in and lick the side of Justin’s neck. Justin moaned giving over to pleasure. In doing so he miscalculated Brian’s intentions and loosened his grip.

Brian yanked his hands free for a fresh attack.

“NO WAIT! I give, Uncle! Aunt! Or whatever the fuck I’m supposed to say! I give…You win…” Justin blurted out breathlessly in an attempt to stop Brian from resuming his torture. The laughter was still heavy in his voice.

Brian stopped his assault and held Justin’s gaze with his own. His eyes shined brightly, Brian thought he’d never seen that particular shade of blue.

“Yeah…I win.” He said then leaned over and captured Justin’s mouth in a kiss. A real full blown open mouth tongue ravaging kiss.

Justin wasn’t expecting it and had to swallow down his cry of surprise. One minute they were wrestling around on the bed, laughing, the next they were kissing like Justin’s never been kissed before. The passion, the power the mere ferocity of Brian’s kiss was overwhelming, and Justin hadn’t realized up till this moment how much he needed to be overwhelmed.

The kiss was desperate and demanding. Justin grabbed a fist full of Brian’s hair tightly, anchoring himself, frantic to hold on as waves of unrelenting pleasure coursed through his body. He plundered his mouth with his tongue, tasting him, devouring him, needing more….so much more. Without breaking the kiss, Justin wrapped one leg around Brian’s waist and used his other leg to push himself over, effectively flipping Brian onto his back.

Somewhere in the back of Brian’s brain, which at this point had taken a back seat to the incredible feelings invading his senses, he realized his blonde had pushed him on his back and was now the aggressor. Part of him rebelled against the switch even as his dick was screaming at him ‘Shut the fuck up you asshole! I don’t fucking care who’s on top!’ But there was part of Brian, a part that had an almost equal hold on him, that refused to give up control. Not without a fight anyway…..Which could be extremely hot he thought. With that in mind, Brian decided to regain the upper hand. Making sure to keep his mouth firmly engaged in their kiss, Brian took hold of Justin’s waist and physically lifted him, then rolled over pinning him beneath him.

Justin landed on his back and instinctively rolled them back over, once again taking the top position. Not to be out done, or out maneuvered, Brian responded in kind.

Their sexual power play went on for a few minutes until there was one too many attempts for control and they ended up on the floor.

They both landed on their sides with a loud ‘Thump!’

“Fuck!” Brian cursed in a raspy voice as their kiss broke. He looked over at Justin to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

Justin took advantage of Brian’s concern and jumped on top of him leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“Who wins now?” He asked then captured his mouth for another soul rending kiss. Brian gave over for the moment.

 

“Bang! Bang! Bang! Brian! It’s me Lins!”

Justin was first to break the kiss having heard the loud knocking on the lofts’ door, and the frantic tone in the woman’s voice.

He looked down at Brian who was now looking towards the loft door with concern in his eyes. Concern, Justin noticed that was laced with lust. Justin quickly jumped off of Brian and stood up.

“That’s Lindsey right? Gus’s mom?” He asked in a hoarse, breathless voice as he extended a hand to help Brian up.

Brian ignored his hand and stood up. He took Justin by surprise, once again, and grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him in for another quick, yet potent, kiss.

When he pulled back there was a big smile on his face and an impish glint in his eyes.

“To be continued….” He said then went to answer the door.

Justin reeled backwards when Brian released him and fell back onto the bed.

‘Jesus he’s going to kill me!’ Justin thought then smiled because there was no better way he’d want to go.

Brian padded over bare footed to answer the door trying to calm his breathing and willing his hard on away, which wasn’t that hard anymore because the more his brain came into focus the more concerned he became at the reason why Linds was here. She and Mel were supposed to be taking Gus to the children’s museum today with some dyke couple friends of theirs.

He slid the metal loft door open to find a harried looking Linds, and a fidgety, yet joyful little boy on the other side.

“Daddy!” Gus screeched in greeting and jumped into his father’s arms.

Brian was glad he and Justin had slept in their clothes last night, and even more grateful that their sexual encounter hadn’t turned…well sexual. It surprised him that he thought of their kissing and rollicking around on the bed as ‘sex’. But there was no denying it, it was sex. Just the kind Brian never had before. The fight for dominance was a total fucking turn on for Brian. He was looking forward to continuing where they left off. Of course he knew in the end he’d win and he’d have his blonde withering beneath him begging….

“Mommy said you’re gonna take me to the museum today!” Gus exclaimed dousing Brian’s salacious thoughts.

“Oh did she now?” Brian asked looking over at Lindsey with a raised brow.

Lindsey threw him an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry Brian, but Gus didn’t want to go with Grandma Deb, he insisted you take him.” Lindsey said.

“Sudden change of plans?” Brian asked as he stepped aside letting Lindsey in and sliding the door shut behind her. He still held Gus in his arms.

“Unfortunately yes. We were so looking forward to it to but Mel got a call early this morning to go down to the police station. One of her clients broke a restraining order and got locked up. She’s calling in a favor from a Judge she knows to get him released today.” Lindsey said taking off her coat. She glanced over into the living room and saw the pizza boxes, the bottle of Beam and the bag of pot sitting on the coffee table. She took Gus from Brian’s arms and placed him on the floor, turning him towards the kitchen.

“Gus honey, why don’t you go get mommy one of daddy’s fancy bottles water out of the frig?” She asked.

“Can I have a cookie too?” Gus asked.

“Sure honey.” She said. Once Gus was out of ear shot Lindsey leaned in and whispered to Brian.

“Mikey come over last night?” She asked.

“No why?” Brian replied wondering why Lindsey was whispering.

Lindsey tilted her head towards the living room and rolled her eyes in that direction. Brian followed her gaze and cursed.

“Keep him busy” he said referring to Gus as he went to retrieve the bag of pot and bottle of Beam. He gathered them and brought them into the bedroom where he found Justin sitting on the bed. He shoved the pot and booze into his arms.

“A cup of coffee would have sufficed. But if you insist...” Justin said smiling at him.

“Brat. Put these in my closet. Top shelf and come out and meet my boy.” Brian said then left Justin there dumbfounded.

Justin didn’t know how he felt about meeting Brian’s son so soon. He knew it was only logical since they were working together, and were becoming friends, that sooner or later his and his son’s paths would cross; he was just hoping it would be more later than sooner.

 

Brian walked out of the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen. Lindsey was pouring Gus a glass of milk while Gus was digging into the box of Oreos Brian kept at the loft for when his son was there.

“Not that I am not chomping at the bit to spend the day at the children’s museum, but mind telling me why you can’t take him?” Brian asked.

Lindsey blushed. “Well since our plans got changed, I thought I’d go to the gallery and get an early start on preparing for next weekends’ art exhibit. I was hoping Gus could go to the museum with his grandma Deb, but he wanted you to take him. We never even made it to Debs.” She said.

Brian frowned at her and leaned over to pull a trash bag out from the cabinet under the kitchen island.

“Here, I’ll do it.” Justin said coming up behind them. He took the plastic garbage bag from Brian.

Lindsey jumped a bit startled. She didn’t hear or see the young blonde boy approaching. She put her hand to her heart.

“Oh my, you startled me. I didn’t know you had company Brian.” Lindsey said.

Brian threw her an incredulous look.

“It’s the weekend. Gus was supposed to be spending it with you and Mel. What the fuck did you think I’d be doing?” Brian asked tersely.

Lindsey fucking knew better. When Brian didn’t have Gus, and he wasn’t working, he was out tricking. And though it was a rare occurrence, he was known to bring a trick back to the loft before. Though in her defense, if he did, the trick was always out by now. He never let a trick sleep over. However what Lindsey didn’t know, was that Justin wasn’t a trick. And he was uncharacteristically upset with her right now for looking at Justin as if he were one.

“Daddy you said a bad word!” Gus said.

“Hey, you must be Gus!” Justin said trying to distract the boy from his fathers’ faux pas. Brian sent him a grateful look.

Gus tilted his head and stared at the new comer. He didn’t speak to him because he was a stranger and his parents told him never to speak to strangers.

Brian, having picked up on his son’s dilemma, went over and picked Gus up and took him over to meet Justin.

“Gus, this is Justin. Justin is a friend of mine. He works for Daddy too.” Brian made the introductions.

Gus smiled at Justin and reached out and touched his hair.

“You got pretty hair.” He said running his fingers through it.

Justin laughed. ‘Like father, like son.’ He thought.

“Thank you! I think you got pretty hair too. Just like your daddy’s.” He said.

Brian smiled over at Justin.

“Gus!” Lindsey admonished and rushed over to take Gus from Brian’s arms.

Brian threw her a murderous look.

“You know better than to touch people you don’t know! It’s rude.” Lindsey said then turned to Justin.

“I’m so sorry. Hi, I’m Lindsey.” She said.

“Justin, Justin Taylor.” Justin introduced himself nodding his head in lieu of shaking her hand since both her arms were currently filled with a very nervous, fidgety boy.

Brian looked at him. “What is it with you and the two first names?” He asked.

Justin looked at him in confusion. Brian shook his head and laughed.

He reached over and took Gus back from Lindsey and put him down on the floor.

“Go finish your cookie Sonny boy. You did nothing wrong. Justin does have pretty hair. Daddy likes to touch it too.” Brian said daring Lindsey to say a word to dispute him.

She wisely kept quiet. Gus ran off to finish his cookie a much happier little boy knowing he wasn’t in trouble.

“I’ll go clean up the living room.” Justin said to Brian then turned to Lindsey.

“Nice meeting you.” He said before heading off towards the living room.

Lindsey watched him walk away and frowned.

“A little young for you, isn’t he?” She hissed in a barely audible whisper.

Brian narrowed his eyes at her. He knew Justin looked young, but not that young! Hell what was he? An old fucking man?! Then he looked over at Justin and it dawned on him. He was still wearing his outfit from last night. The low riding jeans, the ‘teen’ shirt with the rock bands’ name on it. From her perspective, it was very plausible to think Justin was at the very most in his late teens. He threw back his head and laughed. Justin turned to look at him.

Brian decided to play on Lindsey’s misconception.

“Hurry up kid. I need to get you back before your parents find out you’re gone.” Brian said winking at Justin.

Justin caught on quickly and pouted then turned back to his task at hand of cleaning up the mess they left from the night before.

“God I hate it when everyone treats me like a kid!” He grumbled under his breath yet in a loud enough voice so that Lindsey could hear him.

“I’ll be 18 in two weeks you know! I won’t have to answer to anyone then! I’ll be old enough to vote and join the army…” Justin shouted over his shoulder in an annoying voice.

Lindsey’s jaw dropped.

“Seventeen?! Jesus Christ Brian have you lost your mind!? You can’t be sleeping with a boy that age!” She said then slapped his arm.

Brian busted out laughing.

“Who said we were sleeping?” Brian teased.

Lindsey slapped him again.

Justin kept his back to them not being able to suppress his smile.

“Justin, help me out here. She’s starting to turn violent. Tell her how old you are.” He said in a voice filled with mirth.

‘God when have I had this much fun?’ He asked himself. He couldn’t remember ever having this much fun with someone he wanted to fuck.

Justin finished putting the last piece of trash into the bag then headed back towards the dueling parents.

“Um, yeah, like that’s going to happen.” He said smirking evilly at Brian.

Brian’s jaw dropped open. “You little brat! You’d let me hang for this wouldn’t you?” He asked feigning disappointment.

“Uh huh. Serves you right. However I don’t want Lindsey to fret over the possibility that the father of her son is a pervert.” Justin said.

“She already knows that.” Brian said.

Lindsey slapped him once more.

“Ouch! See how vicious she is?” Brian asked rubbing his arm as if it really hurt.

Justin laughed.

“Ok, I’ll bail you out this time. Lindsey, without giving up my exact age, because as embarrassing as this is to admit I am in many ways the stereotypical gay man whose vanity forbids me to reveal my actual age, I can assure you I’m more then a bit past 21. But no way NEAR 30 yet!” Justin hasted to add.

Brian nearly choked on his laugh. Justin shot him a deathly look before continuing.

“I’m dressed like this because Brian and I were on assignment last night. I got hurt and ended up in the emergency room. My cousin Agnes is away for the weekend and the doc wanted someone to monitor me in case I had a concussion. Brian volunteered.” Justin explained.

“Oh my God! Are you ok?” Lindsey asked suddenly warming up to Justin.

“I’m fine, really. Sorry to tease you like that. Brian seems to bring out the worse in me.” He said.

Brian made a face at him.

“He does that to everyone.” Lindsey said.

They both laughed while Brian stood there glaring at them.

“So you’re Agnes cousin?” She asked.

“Yes.” Justin said.

“How come we never heard or seen you before? Agnes is like family to us.” Lindsey asked.

“I know, she’s talked about you often. I just moved here, I’m originally from New York.” Justin said.

“I remember Agnes talking about having family in New York. So what brings you here?” Lindsey asked.

“Needed a change. I was a cop for the NYCPD doing under cover work. I decided a new line of work was in order.” Justin answered.

“Brian felt the same way. You know he used to be a cop before opening up his own detective agency. And now you’re a PI too? What a coincidence.” Lindsey observed.

“It’s not uncommon for cops to become private detectives once they leave the force. You work at a gallery?” Justin asked having overheard her mention it, and wanting to change the subject.

“Yes, I run the art gallery down town.” She said.

“That sounds very exciting.” Justin said.

Brian huffed. “You don’t have to lay it on Sunshine. It’s a fucking art gallery, not exactly heart stopping excitement going on there.” Brian said.

“Sunshine?” Lindsey repeated with a raised brow at Brian.

“Your son is sitting right over there. He can hear you curse.” Justin admonished Brian hoping to steer the conversation away from where Lindsey was taking it. He didn’t think Brian would be comfortable going down that conversation road.

“Believe me, if he had, he would have reprimanded me already. Besides, I’m sure he hears a lot worse from his Ima. She curses like a sailor.” Brian said, again grateful to Justin for changing the topic.

“She does not!” Lindsey said opting to let the ‘Sunshine’ reference go for now. Brian never used endearments like that with coworkers, or friends.

“Ima is what Gus calls his other mother, my partner Melanie. You and Brian must come to dinner one night. She’d love to meet you.” Lindsey said.

‘Dinner? What the fuck is Lindsey thinking? He’s NOT my boyfriend!’ Brian wanted to scream instead he just glared at her.

“Do you paint yourself?” Justin asked again steering the conversation away from a place he KNEW Brian would not be comfortable in.

Lindsey’s eyes lit up at the question.

“Yes, I do! I’ve even had a couple of pieces hanging in the gallery. They didn’t sell however.” Lindsey said.

“I’d love to see them sometime.” Justin offered.

Lindsey blushed. “You’re very kind. But I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.” She said.

Justin frowned and cocked his head.

“On the contrary. I love art. On any given Sunday you could find me in MOMA or the Guggenheim, or the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

“Really? I try to get to New York once a year to visit the art museums. Have you seen Paul Siestserias’ exhibit at MOMA? I hear its breath taking!” Lindsey asked.

“Yes, I have. His drawings are ethereal, and his sculptures complicated yet compelling.” Justin remarked.

“I think you lied to me Mr. Taylor.” Lindsey said with a wry smile.

“Oh?” Justin replied.

“You’re more then an art lover, you’re an art connoisseur.” Lindsey declared.

Justin laughed.

“I’ll admit I do have a passion for it.” Justin said.

“So, who are your favorites?” Lindsey asked totally loving Brian’s new friend at this point.

“I’m a big fan of the impressionists. Monet, Pissarro, Degas. However I have a special fondness for abstract artists. I just recently had the pleasure of viewing Osnat Tzadok’s work. Two pieces in particular blew me away. Air and Second contact. Her colors are so bold and unforgiving. Her paintings dare you not to feel.” Justin said.

“Oh my God! We’ve been trying forever to get her for a showing at the gallery! The woman is pure genius!”

“I agree. I’ve been heavily influenced by her work.” Justin said.

“You paint?” Lindsey asked.

Brian, who was bored with the conversation up till this point, was suddenly very interested in his answer.

“Just as a hobby. I’ve been sketching most of my life, but only started painting about two years ago.” Justin said.

Two years ago…just around the time he got attacked. Brian wondered if there was a connection.

“Daddy I finished my cookie, can we go now?” Gus asked walking over to them. He had an adorable milk mustache and a face smudge with chocolate cookies.

“Sure thing Sonny boy, but we both got to get cleaned up first.” Brian said walking over to the kitchen to grab a napkin to wipe his son’s face.

“Hey, why don’t you go with them to the museum! Gus loves the studio in the museum. That’s where the kids can create their own art. They work with clay, paint, and printmaking. I know if you were with him he’d get so much more out of it! He loves to draw and paint. He’s a budding artist.” Lindsey said to Justin with much pride.

“Linds, you’re putting Justin on the spot. I’m sure he has other plans.” Brian said as he wiped his sons face.

“Actually Brian I intended to check out all the museums here the first chance I got. Might as well start with the children’s museum. It was on my list. They have some very famous artists exhibited there including some of Warhols work. If you don’t mind the company, I’d love to tag alone.” Justin suggested then immediately regretted his words. He got so carried away with his conversation with Lindsey about art, that he jumped at the chance to go to the children’s museum without thinking that Brian would probably not want him interfering with his time with his son.

“As long as we’re not imposing on any plans you had for today, and Gus agrees, then we’d love to have you join us. What do you say Sonny boy?” Brian asked his son knowing his son would be honest.

Gus clapped his hands. “Justin can come and paint with me!” Gus answered.

“Well then, I guess that’s settled.” Brian said. In truth, he didn’t want to part company with his blonde yet. He enjoyed being with him.

“Brian, are you sure? I didn’t mean to impose.” Justin said still wary that he forced the invitation.

“It’s fine. You aren’t imposing. The truth is, Gus will enjoy the museum more with someone who not only understands, but also loves art as much as he does. It’s not exactly my forte.” Brian said.

Justin could hear the sincerity in his voice and smiled.

“Well then you are in for a treat today. Gus and I will be happy to educate you in the fine arts. Won’t we Gus?” Justin asked the little boy.

Gus nodded his head excitedly.

“Then it’s settled! You guys will have a great time! You can drop Gus off at the gallery when you’re done. I’ll be there all day. Oh, and I brought a change of clothes for him. Last time we visited Gus got paint all over himself in the studio.” Lindsey said grabbing the backpack she left by the door when she arrived and handing it to Brian.

“Speaking of changing, I’ve got to go home and change and shower before we go.” Justin said.

“I can give you a lift.” Lindsey said.

“Are you sure? I can take a cab.” Justin said.

“Or you can wait for me then I’ll drive you home.” Brian suggested.

“Actually it will save time if I went home now, and you picked me up when you’re done with your shower. Besides, I have to pick my car up at the diner. I left it parked there last night.” Justin said.

“I’ll drive him to get his car Brian. It’s not a problem. And Justin is right, it will save time.” Lindsey said.

“Thanks Lindsey. I appreciate the lift.” Just said then turned to Brian.

“You can pick me up at 153 Melmore Street, second floor, studio apartment.” Justin said.

“Ok then, Gus and I will see you in about an hour.” Brian said.

Lindsey hugged her son and Brian goodbye then she and Justin left.

“Daddy, I like Justin.” Gus said once father and son were alone.

Brian looked down at his son and smiled.

“Me too Sonny boy. Me too.” He said.

A day at the museum was going to prove very interesting he thought as he headed for his shower.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!?” Brian tried to keep his voice low as he spoke into his cell.

They were in the studio room of the children’s museum when Lindsey called him. Justin was sitting with Gus, and several other children, immersed in some sort of collective art project. They were having so much fun Brian didn’t want to disturb them so he moved to the far end of the room to take the call.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset Brian? I thought you wouldn’t mind dropping Gus off early. This way you can still salvage your weekend.” Lindsey said in that patronizing voice of hers that always grated on his nerves.

“I’m upset because you cannot just make and break plans concerning our son on a whim!” Brian said pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger to ward of the headache he felt coming on. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Listen to me Linds, are you listening?” Brian asked.

Lindsey sighed heavily on the other end. “Yes Brian, I’m listening.” She answered.

“I was happy to take Gus for the day, I would have changed my plans if I had to in order to accommodate him! Not to accommodate YOU and I don’t think you get that part. I really don’t give a fuck that Mel got her client released early. I’ve got Gus for the day. He’s having fun, he fucking loves the museum and I’m not cutting his time here short. We’ll leave when HE’s ready and not a moment sooner. And afterwards I’ll be taking him to get something to eat at the diner. Now you can pick him up there, or I can drop him off at your place. You decide. In the meantime, why don’t you and Mel use this unexpected free time to ‘salvage your weekend.” Brian threw her words back at her sardonically.

 

Justin heard Brian’s voice resonate a little loudly from the other side of the room. He stole a quick worried glance in his direction, and Brian smiled back and gestured with his hand indicating everything was fine. Justin turned his attention back to Gus and their project.

 

The day was turning out to be more fun than Justin could have anticipated. The museum was surprisingly innovated in their approach to art education. In addition to the exhibits, which were varied and inclusive; featuring local artists as well as renowned ones; classes were offered to young budding artists, and educators, along with several interactive programs for the whole community. Justin was very impressed.

After touring the museum and sampling all it had to offer, they ended up in the Studio. The Studio was a place in which patrons were encouraged to come and try their hand at different creative activities. He and Gus, along with several other children who gravitated towards their table, were currently working on a collage of sorts. The kids’ were very enthusiastic about their creation. They all agreed to donate it to the museum for display.

As exciting as all this was, if Justin was honest with himself - and he always tried to be extremely honest with himself - the reason why he was having so much fun was because Brian was part of the experience. Their relationship was quickly becoming ‘familiar’, in a positive life affirming way. The ease in which they interacted was remarkable. It was as if they fed off each other’s energy. Their banter was refreshing and challenging. Brian had a quick mind, and ruthless wit that could be biting at times but always laced with humor. Justin found himself smiling more then he remembered ever smiling. Being with Brian was…effortless. Like wearing his favorite pair of jeans….they simply just ‘fit’ perfectly.

“It needs more red!” Gus exclaimed breaking into Justin’s thoughts.

Justin turned his attention to the miniature version of Brian and smiled. The boy was his father’s son through and through. Even at the age of 5 he had a keen mind and sharp, yet a bit unconventional, wit. The child found humor in some of the oddest circumstances. Justin was totally enjoying his company. They ‘clicked’ on a personal and artistic level. Gus was very passionate about art and demonstrated a remarkable talent for someone so young.

Justin tilted his head and studied the collage. While the other children pretty much threw paint all over the large poster board, Gus focused on creating an image with strategically placed lines, concentrating on using a variety of colors, making sure to keep each separate and distinct so not to create a hodgepodge of hues. It wasn’t purposely calculated, he was only five after all, but he had a natural feel for aesthetics.

“How about using a different shade of red? Like magenta or crimson? They’re both in the red family. This way you won’t have one color over powering the others.” Justin suggested.

“Did I mention he’s just five, Sunshine?” Justin felt Brian’s breath caress his ear as he whispered into it and a chill ran down his spine.

“Talent knows no age. He’s truly a natural Brian.” Justin said turning towards him with a smile on his face.

Justin was sitting on one of the small wooden chairs around the table with the other children facilitating the project when Brian leaned over to whisper in his ear. He had finished his call, more like he hung up abruptly on Lindsey, and went over to see how his favorite boys were doing. Justin had almost as much paint on him as Gus did. He overheard Justin speaking to Gus in a way that made his heart swell. His tone wasn’t patronizing, or indulgent, it was sincere and engaged. Brian couldn’t resist teasing him, plus the opportunity to bring his lips that close to his skin was one Brian wasn’t going to pass up.

“Daddy look at our co-large!” Gus said excitedly pointing at the colorful images.

“It’s a beautiful collage sonny boy.” Brian said then leaned over to whisper in his son’s ear.

“I especially love your part,” he said.

Gus studied his handiwork and frowned. “It needs more….crimson! Jus what does crimson look like?” Gus asked.

“Here, let me show you.” Justin said taking one of the empty plastic cups and pouring some red paint into it. He then stirred in a tiny bit of dark blue paint. When he was done, there was a different shade of red. Gus clapped his hands excitedly.

“Crimson!” He squealed delightfully.

“Yes, that’s the color crimson. Well as close as I can get to it without exact measurements. Do you like it?” Justin asked Gus.

“It’s perfect Jus!” Gus said then threw his arms around Justin’s neck and hugged him, getting even more paint on the blonde.

Justin didn’t seem to mind a bit, Brian observed. He also noticed his son had taken to calling Justin, Jus. It was an unmistakable term of affection. When his son had a particular fondness for someone he tended to shorten their name. Emmett was Auntie Em, Grandma Debbie was Gram. Cynthia was Cyn, Agnes was Ags… And now, Justin was Jus. Apparently neither father nor son was immune to the blondes’ charms.

“Gus, you finish up here, and don’t forget to sign your name since all great artists sign their work.” Brian said. Gus beamed at his fathers’ praise.

“I’m going to show Justin where he can wash up. Then we’ll get you cleaned up and changed and head over to the diner to get something to eat. Unless you want to stay awhile longer and hit the clay station again.” Brian suggested.

Gus scrunched his face up in thought. “Is Gram going to be there?” He asked.

“I think she is working tonight.” Brian answered.

“I want to go see Gram!” Gus said.

“Then the diner it is.” Brian said then turned to Justin.

“Think you can handle another night of high fat high calorie food?” He asked in way of an invitation to join them since he wasn’t ready to part with his blonde yet.

“Actually I’m starved! I could go for a burger and fries…and a milkshake, provided Kiki doesn’t make it.” Justin said with a wry smirk.

“Keep eating like that and you’ll be living in the gym.” Brian said.

“Nah, I’ve got a ridiculously high metabolism. I can pretty much eat anything I want and never gain an ounce.” Justin said rising from the table.

“I knew there was something wrong with you.” Brian quipped.

Justin looked down at this shirt which was smeared with paint.

“You mean besides this Picasso rendition on my shirt?” Justin asked.

Brian studied his shirt. “Hmm…I thought you loved Picasso?” He asked.

“I do, he’s one of my favorite artists! However to a layman like yourself, his work can appear to be convoluted. Most people don’t get his genius.” Justin said.

Brian raised a brow at him. “Are you insinuating I don’t appreciate genius?” Brian asked tongue in cheek.

Justin graced him with one of his impish, yet brilliant smiles. “Not in the least. You obviously can spot genius when you see it. You hired me, didn’t you?” He asked cheekily.

“Brat.” Brian responded with a smile.

Justin looked down at his shirt again. “A messy brat. I think I’m going to need to change before we hit the diner.” Justin said.

“Come on Picasso, this way.” Brian said as he led him over to the wash station.

“Don’t worry about your shirt. I’ll buy you a tee in the souvenir shop on the way out.

“Great, just what I need to be seen in…a tee shirt from the children’s museum to make me look even younger. If I didn’t know better Kinney I’d think you were trying to cock block me.” Justin teased as he scrubbed his hands under the faucet.

Brian leaned, against the wash station, facing the other way keeping an eye on his son and grinned.

“With or without the tee shirt, I’d still cock block you Blondie. It’s unavoidable, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m irresistible. You can’t possibly expect to catch anyone’s attention if I’m within a mile of your vicinity.” Brian stated with a sly smirk.

“A mile? My we are confident of our allure aren’t we?” Justin asked with great amusement.

“Very.” Brian said in a voice that was sure.

Justin laughed. He loved that Brian was genuinely cock sure of himself. He found it sexy as hell.

“Hmmm….well I’ve been told I have a certain allure myself. I’m not exactly a troll you know.” Justin remarked drolly.

Brian sent him a look that could only be described as a leer. Justin flushed under his perusal.

“Not…exactly.” Brian said in a husky voice.

Justin dried his hands and turned to look at Brian, fixing his eyes with his own. All humor was gone from his gaze.

“Exactly how would you describe me?” He asked, his tone sincere. For reasons he dared not explore, he had this need to hear Brian’s answer.

Brian held his gaze for a few seconds searching his blue orbs trying to discern what was going through his blonde’s head…this incredibly beautiful blonde head…before turning away from him. His eyes landed on a painting on the opposite side of the room.

“How would you describe Picasso’s art?” He asked casually appearing to be changing the topic.

Justin followed his gaze to the reproduction of Picasso’s Las Meninas that was hanging over by the print making station. It really was an excellent choice of art to display in this room.

“Compelling. Breathtaking. Provocative. Audacious. Unapologetic.” Justin answered encouraged that Brian was curious about the renowned artist, even if he was using his new found interest to evade his question.

Brian turned his gaze back to him and smiled. “I couldn’t have said it better,” he said cryptically.

Justin was about to ask him to elaborate when Gus ran over to them.

“I’m all finished Daddy! I’m hungry. Can we go see Gram now?” Gus asked.

“Sure Sonny boy. Lets get you washed and changed then we can go.” Brian said.

He grabbed Gus’s backpack that was hanging from a peg on the wall and led him over to the bathroom.

“We’ll be just a minute.” Brian called over his shoulder to Justin.

“I’ll be here.” Justin said.

He watched father and son disappear into the bathroom with a smile on his face.

“Picasso huh.” Justin said to himself shaking his head. Brian no doubt knew that the ruse would work with him. Though he was disappointed Brian didn’t answer his question, he was glad their visit to the museum had piqued Brian’s interest in the arts. He’d never peg him as a Picasso man since to the untrained eye Picasso’s paintings were just a collection of badly distorted images. But to Justin his paintings were...well just as Brian asked him to describe.

Justin’s eyes flew to the closed bathroom door as understanding dawned on him. Brian did use his question about Picasso as a ruse! But not to avoid his question, but to answer it! The realization caused Justin to blush deeply.

Justin had been likened to a lot of things in his life, half or which weren’t exactly complimentary, but he’d never been compared to a Picasso painting. Whether or not Brian realized it, and Justin suspected he did, he’d just given Justin the best compliment he’d ever received in his life.

 

****************************************

 

“I want macaroni and cheese Daddy!” Gus said.

“Oh that sounds good!” Justin chimed in.

They were sitting in one of the back booths in the diner looking over the menus.

“You know there are healthier choices on the menu.” Brian said to both his son and Justin.

Both looked up at him like he lost his mind.

“What fun is that!?” Justin asked.

Gus laughed and went to high five Justin to which Justin laughed and high five’d him back.

Brian rolled his eyes; he was clearly out numbered here.

“Gussie!” A loud boisterous voice called over to them.

Gus squealed in delight hearing his Grandma Deb's voice. He quickly climbed over his father and ran towards her.

“Gram!” Gus shouted then jumped into her arms. The big red headed woman scooped him up and gave him a big hug and kiss.

“How’s my baby doing?” She said putting him down.

“We went to the museum today Gram! Jus came with us, and we saw lots of pictures and a big duck and a funny looking birdcage, it was all crooked Gram! And we made clay animals and candy dishes and we painted a co-large and gave it to the museum to hang and we….” Gus continued to ramble while Debbie leaned over to wipe the red lipstick she left on the child’s cheeks from his face.

“My it sounds like you and Daddy had a great time!” Debbie said looking toward Brian.

“And Jus went too! Jus is Daddy and my new friend.” Gus exclaimed then grabbed his Grams’ hand and led her to their booth.

“Jus, this is my Gram!” Gus made the introductions.

Justin smiled up at red headed woman.

“Seems we meet again.” Justin said.

Gus climbed over his father again and back into the booth.

Debbie cracked her gum and smiled at him.

“Well this is a surprise.” She said shifting her gaze back and forth between the two men.

“Deb…” Brian warned knowing what that look meant.

“What? I’m just surprised to see you and Sunshine here together, that’s all. Last I spoke to him he said he turned down your job offer.” She said but Brian only heard the part where she called him ‘Sunshine’. That was his nickname for the blonde!

“Sunshine?” He asked with a raised brow.

Debbie had the good grace to blush. “Yeah, well look at him when he smiles! Damn near lights up the whole place!” She said.

“Gram you said a bad word!” Gus admonished.

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry. I won’t say anymore bad words.” Debbie promised. Gus nodded his head satisfied.

Justin suddenly felt very uncomfortable under all the scrutiny and Brian picked up on it.

“Well how about you taking our order, we’re three very hungry men here.” Brian said.

Debbie pulled out her pen and pad and started writing before they ordered.

“Gram I’ll have the macaroni and cheese.” Gus said.

“Uh huh, and a side of applesauce and peas.” Debbie said as she continued to scrawl on her pad.

“I don’t want peas!” Gus squawked as he crossed his arms across his chest in a defying gesture.

“Ok sweetie, then you can have broccoli.” Debbie smiled.

Gus’ face turned into a mask of horror. “Gram I HATE broccoli!” He exclaimed.

“I know sweetie, that’s why I suggested peas.” Debbie said.

Brian laughed. “Tell you what sonny boy, you eat your peas and you can have ice cream for dessert.” Brian smiled.

“Can I have a hot fudge sundae!?” Gus asked.

“As long as you eat all your dinner, you can have whatever dessert you want.” Brian said.

“Cool!” Gus said seemingly happy with the deal.

“What can I get you Justin?” Debbie asked turning her attention towards the blonde. This time she refrained from calling him Sunshine again having witnessed Brian’s reaction to it. She made a mental note to talk to him about it later.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries and a chocolate milkshake.” Justin said.

“You got it.” Debbie said.

“Wait, is Kiki on tonight?” Justin asked cautiously.

“Yeah, why?” Debbie asked.

“Shit!” Justin said.

“Jus you said a bad word!” Gus admonished shaking his finger.

“Sorry Gus.” Justin cringed

“Deb do me a favor and ask Kiki to come over here when she gets a minute. She got the wrong impression of Justin the last time he was here. He was undercover and she mistook him for a thug.” Brian said.

“So you’re the obnoxious kid from last night?” Debbie laughed.

Justin blushed. “Um, yeah, that would be me.”

Debbie shook her head. “You better fix this Brian. Kiki’s got her panties in a twist over the ‘kid’ from last night. And you know what a nasty queen she can be.”

Brian sighed. “I know, I’ll fix it.” He said.

Justin threw him a murderous look.

“Great. Now I’m on some drag queen’s hit list. I totally blame you for this Bri.” Justin said.

Bri… The nic caught him by surprise. Brian wondered if, like his son, Justin shortened people’s names whom he had affection for.

“Most things are his fault sweetie. He’s the master manipulator of all in his kingdom.” Debbie said to Justin with a twinkle in her eye.

“How the fuck is this, my fault?! He was the one who was rude to her!” Brian said.

“Daddy…!” Gus warned.

Brian rolled his eyes. “I know, I know! No more cursing,” he said then turned accusing eyes towards Justin.

“Well you can’t possibly blame me for YOUR actions! Besides, you were the one who sent me undercover!” Justin said.

“Ok then. Why don’t I take Gus in the back to say hello to Charlie. He’s making his famous lemon bars and I have a feeling he might let you lick the spoon.” Debbie said to Gus holding her hand out to him.

Gus climbed over his father again to go with his Gram but then stopped mid way to look at Brian.

“Is it ok Daddy?” He asked.

“Go ahead sonny boy. Just don’t eat too much batter. You still have to eat your dinner.” Brian said.

Gus smiled and jumped out of the booth and grabbed his Grams’ hand. Debbie turned to leave the two men at the table alone to finish their ‘discussion’…when Brian called out to her.

“Um Deb, aren’t you forgetting something?” He asked.

Debbie kept walking, not bothering to turn around. “I’ve known you since you were fourteen Kinney. I don’t need to take your order.” She called out over her shoulder.

“What if I’m not in the mood for a turkey sandwich?” Brian complained.

Debbie stopped this time and turned around to look at him.

“You’re not. Not tonight anyway. Tonight you’re in the mood for a bowl of Pasta Fagioli and spinach salad on the side.” Debbie nodded confidently.

“Charlie made Pasta Fagioli?” Brian asked with a look that could only be described as child-like in enthusiasm.

Justin saw his expression and his heart did a funny little flip.

“What can I say, he was in a mood” she answered shrugging her shoulders with a satisfied grin on her face before turning around again and heading off to kitchen with Gus in tow.

Charlie very rarely made his famous Pasta Fagioli anymore. It wasn’t a big seller at the diner, only Brian and a select few appreciated Charlie’s culinary skills. Most the other patrons were content with every day diner food. She didn’t ponder long on why Charlie had chosen to make his signature soup today. One look at his newly repaired 1980 Coupe Deville parked out back and she knew. His ‘baby’ was sideswiped last month while it was parked out front and his insurance company didn’t want to pay to fix it. They had said the book value was less then the cost to repair it. So Brian had suggested he take the car to his own personal mechanic. Whatever the cost, evidently it was within Charlie’s budget. A coincidence Debbie was sure Brian had something to do with. Charlie was obviously of the same mind. Hence the big pot of Brian’s favorite soup currently simmering on the stove in the back.

 

Not two minutes after Debbie departed their company, Kiki showed up, hands on her hips, glaring at Justin.

“Now why in God’s name would you bring this dreg on society back in here?” She asked Brian though her eyes were glued on Justin.

“Jesus Kiki you truly are a vicious cunt, aren’t you?” Brian asked though there was no malice in his voice.

Kiki turned her attention to him and smiled. “You think so?” She asked, actually pleased with his observation.

Justin rolled his eyes thinking what a strange relationship these two had.

Brian laughed and looked up at the drag queen. “Only you would consider that a compliment,” he commented.

“And only you would use it as one,” she countered.

“Hello...victim in need of saving over here.” Justin broke into their conversation waving his hand in the air.

Brian turned his attention to him. “It’s bad enough I’ve got one pissed off drag queen to deal with, I don’t need a drama princess thrown into the mix,” he said.

“Bri…” Justin warned in an ominous tone.

‘Bri…’ Again Justin used the shortened version of his name. Brian was starting to like the sound of it very much.

“Kiki, this is Justin Taylor. He works for me, and he’s a friend of mine. Last night he was undercover. Thanks to Justin, we busted the guy who killed dumpster boy.” Brian said.

Kiki’s mouth dropped open. “Oh – my - God! I heard that creep got arrested last night! You’re the one who caught him?!” Kiki asked turning her attention back to Justin.

“It was a team effort.” Justin hastened to say.

“Listen Kiki, I was only acting like a douche last night to show Brian I could lure the creep in. And it worked. I’m sorry I was so rude to you.” Justin said.

Kiki pulled out a handkerchief and put it to her mouth to stem the sob she felt coming on.

“Don’t, you’ll scare the children if your mascara starts to run.” Brian said.

Kiki ignored him as she pulled Justin in for a big hug.

“You brave, brave boy! You have no idea how scared we’ve all been around here knowing that lunatic was still on the loose. I’m so glad you were able to flush him out and catch him.” She said then released him and went to hug Brian.

“What would we all do without you…our hero?” Kiki whispered in his ear. Brian let the drag queen embrace him for a moment before pulling back.

“So no more jerking off into Justin’s food, ok? And call off your attack dogs. I know you probably got his picture posted in every diner and restaurants kitchen on Liberty Avenue.” Brian said ignoring Kiki’s words. He never did take praise or compliments well.

Justin sent him a horrified look.

Kiki blushed. “Please don’t hold that against me Justin. It was his fault anyway!” Kiki said glaring at Brian for giving her up about jerking off in the milkshake and about blackballing him with the local eateries.

Brian made a face that clearly said…’what the fuck!...but before he could say anything Kiki made an announcement.

“Not only will I make sure everyone knows that Justin here is responsible for catching Kempts’ killer, but he won’t be able to pay for a meal on Liberty Avenue for the next month!” Kiki assured him.

Justin’s face lit up at that announcement.

“Really that isn’t necess….”

Brian cleared his throat interrupting Justin. “Shut up and don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, you earned it.” Brian said.

Justin took Brian’s advice and thanked Kiki in a low, embarrassed voice. A blush spread up his neck to his cheeks. Apparently he couldn’t take praise, or a compliment well either Kiki thought.

“Kiki!” A loud voice at the entrance drew both men and Kiki’s attention.

Michael walked into the diner with Ben besides him. He spotted the drag queen the moment he entered and made a beeline for her.

“Ma didn’t tell me you were back at work already!” Michael said embracing the waitress.

Ben said hello to Brian, and then nodded a quick hello/acknowledgement to the good looking blonde sitting in the booth across from him.

“Oh honey you know you can’t keep a good drag queen down!” Kiki answered.

“Kiki! Your order’s up!” Charlie shouted as he rung the pick up bell.

“Gotta run sweetie. I’ll tell your mother you’re here.” Kiki said giving him another quick hug before taking off.

Michael turned his attention to Brian, but not before his eyes glanced over at the boy sitting with him.

“Really Brian, the Children’s Museum? Running out of places to pick up tricks?” Michael said turning his back on Justin.

“I’m sitting right here…I can hear you.” Justin said in a dead calm voice.

Brian immediately picked up on Justin’s tone. He sensed a battle brewing.

“Mikey, you really are an ass sometimes.” Brian said shaking his head.

Michael gave him a curious look thinking Brian never cared how he talked to his tricks before. But then again, the only other place Michael had ever seen Brian with a trick was at the clubs, or on the rare occasion, at his loft. He never brought them to the diner, which made him rethink his comment. He leaned over to speak to Brian directly, his back still to Justin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, but he is a bit young. Do you think its wise bringing the kid here?” Michael asked in a hushed voice.

Justin shifted in his seat. He didn’t know who this ass was but if he didn’t shut his mouth soon, he was going to shut it for him.

“Again, I’m right here. And I can still hear you.” Justin said, this time his voice held a bite to it that Michael couldn’t ignore. He turned around and gave Justin a second look.

“Listen kid…”

“Brian, he calls me kid one more time…” Justin warned his eyes never leaving Michaels.

Michael felt a chill go down his spine realizing too late he underestimated the blonde.

“Now let’s all just settle down.” Ben said as he stepped in front of Michael taking up a protective stance. Ben was good at summing people up having spent years learning to observe and what he observed about the young man sitting with Brian was that he was not one to provoke.

Justin recognized the gesture for what it was. The bigger man was guarding the smaller one, and by doing so, in Justin’s mind, condoning the smaller man’s abhorrent behavior. The act only infuriated Justin more.

“Don’t bother coming to his rescue Lurch, I’ll take you down first. Then I’ll deal with him.” Justin stated as his eyes bore into Michael.

Brian reached over and grabbed Justin by his wrist, forcing him to turn his attention away from Mikey and on to him. He knew his blonde was in attack mode. Mikey, in his stupidity, had managed to majorly piss him off. He had no doubt Justin would follow through on his threat and take both Ben and Mikey down right here in the diner.

“Justin, listen to me. Are you listening?” Brian asked making sure he had his blondes’ full attention.

Justin took a deep calming breath and focused on Brian. His eyes were direct yet tinged with alarm. Good, Justin thought. He should be alarmed. There was nothing Justin hated more then insufferable assholes who thought they could get away with treating him like he was no more than dirt beneath their feet. He vowed to never again make the mistake of letting anyone ever underestimate him. Last time he allowed that it almost got him killed.

“Yeah, I’m listening,” he sighed loudly.

“Mikey’s my best friend Justin. Debbie is his mother. Granted, he’s an idiot, but a harmless one. Trust me when I tell you that when Deb finds out how rude he’s been to you, nothing you could do to him would compare to what she’s going to do to him. And Zen Ben is a pacifist so there’s no need to threaten him.” Brian said then turned his attention to Mikey.

“Justin not only works for me Mikey, he’s a friend. We took Gus to the children’s museum today. He got paint on his shirt so I bought him this one to wear. Though he’s blessed with a youthful appearance…” Brian paused here to look at Justin, his wrist still held firmly in his grasp… “Which by the way, I totally despise you for…” he teased then went back to addressing Mikey… “he is much older than he looks.” Brian finished.

Justin raised a brow at him. “Much?” He asked in mock indignation, some of his anger now dissipating.

Brian smiled at him. “Well much more then the seventeen years you appear to be right now in that shirt.” Brian returned.

Justin snorted and pulled his wrist from Brian’s grip. Brian released him having felt the danger had passed.

“I told you this shirt was a stupid idea.” Justin said.

“I don’t have stupid ideas.” Brian countered.

“Ah, then this was calculated! I knew it! You’re threatened by me so you dress me in this ridiculous shirt so all the hot guys wouldn’t notice me.” Justin accused.

Brian smiled sexily at him. “The only hot guy that matters notices you, trust me,” he said.

Justin couldn’t think of a decent retort to that admission so he closed his mouth.

Michael stood by and watched their exchange, shocked. He never saw Brian act this way with another man. There was obviously something going on that went beyond employer/employee relationship. Brian said they were friends… ‘when the fuck did that happen’…, Michael wondered. In any case, he needed to do some damage control and fast. Brian was right; if his mother knew he did anything to fuck up the one relationship that showed any promise of actually ‘meaning’ something to Brian he was sure she’d have his balls.

“Justin, please forgive me. I have no excuse for being rude. Well, except that it’s Brian’s fault.” Michael said.

Justin looked over at Brian. “Does everyone blame you for everything around here?” He asked.

“Pretty much.” Brian said.

“Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility to carry around.” Justin noted.

Brian shrugged his shoulders.

Michael glared at him. “Well it is your fault! I had no idea you and Justin were friends! You’ve had the same friends for years! You don’t make new friends…you don’t trust people. I just saw you yesterday! Why is this the first I’m hearing about this?! And when by the way, did this friendship happen?” Michael babbled clearly upset and confused by the whole situation.

“Oh, I think that would be right after we agreed to be fuck buddies.” Justin answered with a devious smile.

Michaels jaw dropped open. Brian groaned knowing where this conversation was heading.

“Fuck buddies! Are you fucking insane?! Brian doesn’t do fuck buddies, Brian doesn’t do anyone more than once!” Michael said.

“Yeah well, all things can be negotiated. Oh, and by the way…that apology attempt? Mmmm…not working.” Justin said.

Michael had the good grace to shut his mouth and blush. Ben decided it was time he brought some civility into the situation.

“Hi, I’m Ben Bruckner, Michael’s partner,” he said holding his hand out for Justin to shake.

Justin took the offered hand in his own. “Justin, Justin Taylor. And I’m sorry about the Lurch comment,” he said.

“Again with the two first names…what is it? Like this new hip thing the kids are doing?” Brian queried.

“Are we back to ‘kid’ jokes?” Justin said “I could point out that if you continue to view me in that fashion that it would make you - a pedophile.” Justin laughed.

Ben laughed as Michael gasped. “Jesus, it’s true isn’t it?! You guys are in a relationship!” he exclaimed.

Ben wished he had a camera to catch the identical looks of horror that crossed both Brian and Justin’s faces.

“We are NOT in a relationship!” Brian declared.

“Of course not, don’t be absurd. Being fuck buddies does NOT constitute a relationship!” Justin explained.

“Huh huh. Ok, well whatever the fuck you two have, I just want it on the record that I was an ass and I DO apologize Justin. Even if you were a trick, I should have never acted so rude. I hope you will forgive me.” Michael said giving Justin one of his ‘doe eyed’ looks.

Justin decided for Brian’s sake, to give him another chance. “Apology accepted.”

“Mind if we join you? Ben asked “We can only stay a minute because we’re on our way to the gay and lesbian center. They’re putting on a production of Fiddler on the Roof.”

Justin scooted over and gestured for Michael to take a seat. He didn’t want Brian to think he was holding a grudge against his best friend. In fact he wasn’t, though he was curious as to what he and Brian had in common. It was obvious Brian was more intelligent and more sophisticated then the mousy little pathetic man. Yet Justin could see Brian had much affection for him. All the same, there had to be a story behind that friendship.

“Hey, why don’t you guys come with us!?” Michael suggested.

“I’d rather have my tongue glued to a lesbian’s twat.” Brian said as he slid over to let Ben in.

Justin nearly spit out the water he had just started to drink. “Nice image,” he said laughing.

“Uncle Mike, Uncle Ben!” Gus yelled out as he and Debbie came out of the kitchen.

Gus ran over to Ben first and jumped into his lap, hugging the big man around the neck.

“Hey Gus, it’s good to see you. I didn’t know you were here.” Ben said returning the hug.

Gus pulled back and looked at his Uncle Ben. “We went to the museum today!” he announced jubilantly.

Ben laughed. “So we heard. Had a lot of fun, did you?” He inquired.

Gus nodded his head and crawled over to squeeze himself between Ben and his father.

“And Charlie let me lick the batter!” Gus said.

“Really? What is Charlie making?” Michael asked Gus.

“Lemon bars!” Gus said.

“The man’s been cooking all day.” Debbie said walking over to the table wiping her hands on her apron. Michael rose to give his mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Ma, what’s up?” Michael asked nervously.

“Hmmm…you tell me.” She asked suspiciously. Her mother’s instinct was telling her that her son was hiding something. He had guilt written all over him.

“Nothing, why are you always suspicious?” Michael asked petulantly.

“Because I know three things in this life, you, him…” she motioned her head towards Brian while maintaining eye contact with her son… “and waitressing,” she said.

Michael slid down in his seat and sulked.

“Little Mikey wants Justin and I to go with him and Ben to the G&L center to see a play Deb, what do you think of that?” Brian asked sarcastically knowing his surrogate mother was right about one thing, she did know him, and she knew how much he hated the gay and lesbian center, and she also knew Mikey knew this as well.

Debbie snorted. “I think he either has amnesia or was trying to make up for something. What the fuck did you do Michael?” She asked hands on her hips.

“Gram!” Gus scolded.

“Sorry kiddo.” Debbie said then turned her attention back to her son.

“Spill,” she demanded.

Michael looked to Brian for help, but found none there.

“It’s nothing Ma, really, just a little misunderstanding.” Michael said.

“Uh huh. What kind of misunderstanding?” She persisted.

Michael glared at his best friend for not coming to his defense.

“Hey, you deserve this.” Brian said enjoying his friend predicament. Plus, he really felt he earned a good tongue lashing from his mother. He was way out of line with Justin. Even if he did think he was a trick he had no right treating him that way, though Brian felt he had to take partial blame for Mikey’s behavior. It wasn’t the first time Mikey talked that way in front of one of his tricks. Brian had always let it go because he really could give a shit about a trick once he was done with them, and because the tricks never complained about it. They got what they came for and if they were hurt, it wasn’t because of anything Michael had said, it was because of the way Brian would callously toss them aside once he was done with them. Michael saw how Brian treated his fucks, so why should he have acted any differently with Justin, having believed he was just that? Another fuck. But Justin wasn’t another fuck; hell Brian hadn’t even fucked him yet! Hearing Mikey talk about him like he meant nothing, made his stomach churn knowing he was partly responsible for it.

“It’s fine Deb, let it go.” Brian said sitting straight up in his seat. His thoughts had him feeling very uneasy and he couldn’t in good conscious let Mikey take the fall for his behavior alone. Not when he had perpetuated it.

Justin gave Brian a curious look. He could almost feel the brunettes’ anxiety and wondered where it was coming from.

Deb reached over Ben and put her hands over Gus’s ears.

“Bullshit, now spill!” She demanded then removed her hands from Gus’s ears.

Michael decided to come clean. “I let my mouth run without thinking and insulted Justin,” he blurted out.

Justin looked at him with a smidgeon of respect for owning up to his actions.

Debbie closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m biting my tongue so hard I can taste blood. What did you say Michael?” She asked in a deceptively calm voice opening her eyes.

“Well I didn’t exactly say anything to him; I asked Brian if he was…” Michael stopped and looked at Gus. Debbie reached over Ben again and put her hands over his ears.

Michael continued. “I asked Brian if he was picking up tricks at the children’s museum now.”

Debbie let go of Gus’ ears so quickly that Michael never saw the smack coming.

“WHACK!” She slapped him upside the head.

Justin was taken aback by her action. Brian wasn’t exaggerating when he said Deb was going to make Michael regret insulting him. Now he felt guilty!

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” She practically screamed at her son.

“Debbie, it’s ok! He was just kidding! I got over sensitive about it, that’s all. We’re all fine. The invitation was more for my sake. Being new in town and all Michael thought I might make some friends at the gay and lesbian center. He really wasn’t asking Brian, he was inviting me.” Justin lied through his teeth to spare Brian’s friend another whack like the one he just got. It was loud and powerful and Justin could feel it from his seat!

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and looked at Justin appreciatively. He didn’t have to, but he bailed Mikey out.

“Justin you don’t…” Michael started to correct Justin but Brian interrupted him.

“He’s right Deb, it was nothing. You know me; I was just instigating to get a rise out of you. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you whack him like that! Definitely worth the wait.” Brian said cockily. He had to stop Michael from revealing the truth. Justin gave him a reprieve, and Brian was going to make sure he didn’t fuck that up as well.

Debbie looked at Brian skeptically. Her instincts were telling her something wasn’t right. Someone was lying. She turned to Ben knowing she’d get the truth from him.

“Ben what happened?” She asked her son’s partner.

“Exactly what Justin said happened, Deb. It’s all to do about nothing. Though I’m sure Michael has done something recently to warrant a smack, so I wouldn’t feel too guilty.” Ben said smiling as he rose from the booth.

“We should get going Michael. The show will start soon. You sure you won’t join us?” Ben said looking at Justin.

Justin smiled at him. He may be a pacifist, but that didn’t stop him from lying like a pro and from the look on his face, he was enjoying it too. It was nice to see the man had at least one bad vice.

“Thanks, but no thanks. Perhaps another time.” Justin said.

The men said their goodbyes and left the diner. Debbie turned to Brian and Justin.

“That was all Bull…malarkey, wasn’t it?” She asked.

Brian winked at her. “Don’t worry ma. We’re big boys now and can handle our own problems….now how about our dinner? Think you can handle that?” Brian asked.

“Don’t be a smart as...alec. It’s been awhile since I whacked you too,” she said.

Brian gave her a very serious, loving look. Justin was thrown by his sudden change of mood.

“You’ve never raised a hand to me ma…” he said.

The simple statement brought tears to Debbie’s eyes for some reason Justin couldn’t fathom.

“Well, I better get you boys your food.” She said swiping at her face as she turned away from them.

Justin wanted so badly to ask him what that was about, but he knew it wasn’t the time or the place, not with Gus sitting right there.

Their food came out shortly and the meal passed pleasantly, the conversation light and joyful, the food good. Brian let Justin taste his soup and Justin ordered a container of it to go it was so delicious. Neither man wanted the day to end. It started off perfect, and it looked like it was going to end on a perfect note as well. Unfortunately fate intervened and not in a positive life affirming way.

….It’s raining men! Hallejuah!…

“Is that your cell?” Justin asked laughing at the ring tone.

Brian frowned and pulled his phone out.

“Yeah, it’s Emmett. He and Shane are meeting with Boyd tonight. I need to take this,” he said then got up from the booth.

“I’m going outside to take this call Gus. You stay with Justin.” Brian told his son.

“Ok Daddy.” Gus said.

Brian grabbed his coat and flipped his phone open on his way out of the diner.

Once Brian was gone, Justin snuck some peas off of Gus’ plate seeing how the boy was struggling to choke them down.

“Shhh…” Justin said as he took another forkful of peas. “This will just be our secret.”

Gus felt like he had a friend for life in Justin. He wanted to do his part so for every forkful Justin took, Gus took one. Before they knew it, all the peas were gone.

Brian returned to the table looking a bit worried.

“We have to go, now. Mr. Boyd is not taking the news of being the target of an investigation well. The situation is getting out of hand and I need to go do some damage control.” Brian explained to Justin as he grabbed Gus’s coat.

“But Daddy I haven’t had my ice cream yet! Look, I ate all my peas and you promised!” Gus pouted.

“I know sonny boy, but this can’t be helped. I need to get you back home now. I promise to make it up to you.” Brian said as he held Gus’s coat open for him to slip his arms in.

“Brian, this sounds serious. You can’t afford to waste time dropping me and Gus off. Why don’t you let me take Gus home? I’ll call a cab. From what I hear, Drew Boyd can be a nasty pri...piece of work when riled. It’s best you get there as soon as possible to avoid any trouble. Just leave me Lindsey address and I’ll take Gus home right after we have our desserts.” Justin suggested, smiling at Gus.

Brian looked back and forth between his son and Justin. His son’s eyes were moist with unshed tears, but his expression filled with hope having heard Justin’s offer.

“You sure you don’t mind?” Brian asked.

“Of course not! If Gus doesn’t mind, it will be my pleasure.” Justin said.

Gus’s face lit up. “I want to ride in a cab Daddy! Please, can I stay with Justin?” He asked.

“Ok, then but you won’t be riding in a cab. Here’s the number to my car service. Tell them to put it on my account. And here’s Lindsey’ phone number and her address. Give it to the driver.” Brian said as he scrawled the address and numbers on a napkin.

“You want me to give the driver Lindsey’s phone number?” Justin teased trying to lighten the mood.

“Ha ha. very funny Blondie.” Brian said. “Give me your cell.”

Justin handed him over his phone with no questions asked. Brian punched in his cell number, and his home number before handing the phone back to Justin.

“Just in case,” he said.

Justin nodded his head. “You better get going.”

Brian leaned over and kissed his son goodbye. “Be a good boy Gus and listen to Justin, OK.”

“I will Daddy.” Gus assured him, hugging his daddy goodbye.

Brian then turned to Justin. “Thanks.” He said then leaned over to whisper in his ear.. “You can count on me thanking you properly the minute I’ve got you alone.” Brian promised.

His lips brushed against Justin's ear so gently, that Justin wasn’t sure if he actually felt the sensual caress or if his words created the erotic sensation.

Justin didn’t have time to consider it further as Brian was out the door before he even had a chance to say goodbye.

“Jus, ice cream!” Gus exclaimed bringing Justin out of his sensual stupor.

“Good idea Gus. I think we both could use some ice cream right about now.” Justin said then proceeded to order them both the biggest sundae’s they had on the menu.

 

**********************************************

 

“Don’t be such a bitch Daph. You’re making more of this then it is.” Justin said cradling the phone between his neck and shoulder as he sat on his couch sketching away.

He had dropped Gus off at Lindsey house, (declining an offer to come in for coffee on the pretense that he had some work to do), about an hour ago and headed straight back to his apartment to call his best friend. So much had happened in the last 48 hours and he needed to bounce his thoughts off of the one person he trusted more than anyone. That trust however came with a price as he was currently being reminded. Daphne, his best friend since preschool, was too perceptive when it came to him and very candid in expressing her opinion. Justin conversely, was not quite ready to accept her assessment of his ‘non-conventional, non-relationship’ with Brian Kinney.

 

Daphne was barely in the door from her shift at NY Presbyterian hospital where she was interning as an emergency room doctor when Justin called. She missed him terribly since he moved to Pittsburgh but knew it was what he needed. There were just too many bad memories in New York and though she had never been one to advocate running from your problems she also understood the need sometimes to just change the scenery, and if anyone needed a change of scenery it was her best friend. She could have been selfish and talked him into staying in NY, but that’s not what best friends did. Best friends looked out for the best interest of each other. As she was trying to do now but in typical Taylor fashion, Justin was being stubborn in accepting the inevitable. That ‘inevitable’ being one Brian Kinney.

From what Justin was telling her, this was one relationship he wasn’t going to be able to run from. Nor did she think he should. He’d shut down emotionally after what happened with Hobbs. It was only natural. Justin was grieving and he needed to heal, to lick his wounds. But it’s been too long now. It was time Justin trusted again. No one knew Justin better then she did and she knew his current lifestyle of casual meaningless sex was wearing on him. It was NOT who he was. Though he’d argue otherwise believing the ‘incident’ changed him, she knew better. Justin may have been broken, but he wasn’t defeated. He was a fighter at heart. Now she just had to get him to realize it was time he started fighting again, and there was no doubt he was ready. She heard in his tone his excitement over this Brian Kinney. Though he tried to play him off as just someone who was ‘interesting’ and who he wanted to fuck, hence his agreement to become ‘fuck buddies’, she could tell it was more than that. Justin never had a fuck buddy. She knew he couldn’t carry on that kind of relationship for too long without becoming emotionally involved - that was if he wasn’t already emotionally involved. Now all she had to do was get Justin to realize the truth of the situation…and that would take some finesse. She decided to employ a new tactic.

“Are you sketching Justin?” She asked having heard the charcoal scrape against the pad.

“Mmmm…yeah, why?” Justin answered absentmindedly. He was currently very engrossed in his drawing.

“No reason. You just seemed preoccupied. What are you sketching?” She asked innocently enough.

Justin stopped and looked at the image he drew and fell silent.

“Justin?”

“You really are a bitch Daph.” Justin said and threw his pad over to the side with a sigh.

“You’re drawing him and his son, aren’t you?” She asked already knowing the answer.

Justin rubbed his temples and closed his eyes.

“Ok, so I like him. No big deal.” Justin said.

“Do you know when the last time I heard you say you liked a guy?” Daphne asked.

“Don’t you fucking dare bring up his name.” Justin growled into the phone.

“Who? Matthew Wollenton?” Daphne asked deftly sidestepping the ‘Hobbs’ minefield.

“Matt?” Jesus I haven’t thought of him in years!” Justin exclaimed with a smile on his face. Matt was a cadet he dated in the academy.

Daphne smiled to herself and sighed in relief. She had him back on track. Justin sounded very pleased at the mention of his past lover. Good, she thought. He was now thinking about a time before Hobbs when he was happy. If she could get him to remember that he had a life before Hobbs, a life where he was happy in a relationship and though it ended, both parties recovered and went on with their lives then perhaps it would bring him one step closer to being the person he was. The person Daphne knew still lived inside of him.

“Yeah well he remembers you fondly. I ran into him the other day. He sends you his best by the way.” Daphne said.

“I’ve already had his best.” Justin said cheekily as fond memories of his time with Matt flooded him.

Daphne laughed. “So I’ve heard, over and over again,” she said.

“Hey! You love it when I tell you all the sordid details of my sex life!” Justin chuckled.

“Well you’re not boring, that’s for sure.” Daphne said tongue in cheek.

Justin laughed. “So tell me, is he still hot?” He asked.

“Oh yeah, though the guy he was with was a total troll!” Daphne said.

“No fucking way! Matt was so hung up on looks; I can’t believe he’s dating a troll.” Justin said.

“Not just dating, he told me they’ve been living together for two years now. I guess it’s true what they say, love is blind.” Daphne added

Justin made a rude noise in the back of his throat. “Blind, deaf and dumb,” he muttered bitterly.

Daphne sighed. She didn’t want the conversation to take a nosedive. Time to change tactics - again.

“So, is this Brian guy hot?” She asked.

Justin smiled on his end of the phone. “He really is hot Daph. Definitely more hotter then Matt,” he said.

“That’s impossible. NO one is hotter than Matt! Never in my life did I want to be a gay man so bad! The man is drop dead gorgeous!” Daphne said laughing.

“Are you by your computer?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, why?” Daphne answered.

“Hold on, I’m going to email you something.” Justin said.

He picked up the sketch he just discarded on the floor and ran it through the scanner that sat on his desk in his studio apartment. Once the image was scanned he emailed it to his best friend.

“It should be coming through any minute.” Justin said.

“Please tell me you’re not sending me gay porn again!” Daphne teased.

“Hey, it turns you on. Don’t deny it.” Justin said.

“True, but right now I’ve got my sights on one of the doctors at the hospital and I really don’t want images of two men fuc….Whoaaaaaaaaaaa! Is that him?” Daphne asked as she opened the file Justin just emailed her.

Justin laughed at her reaction. Yep, now you tell me. Hotter then Matt?” Justin asked with a smugness in his voice that went unnoticed by Daphne who was too engrossed in the drawing she’d just received.

“He can’t possibly look like this! You’ve taken liberties with this likeness.” Daphne accused.

Justin sighed. “I wish I had. I’ve been trying since I got home to capture his essence along with his image but I can’t. I can’t do him justice. He’s truly a work of art Daph. His eyes are amazing. They’re so expressive. He can speak volumes with just one glance. And their color, well their color is indescribable. They change hues with his moods. He has classic Romanesque features, strong jaw, prominent cheekbones, with a perfect straight nose marred only by this slight bump near the bridge which only makes his features more striking in a totally masculine way. And his lips…well again, depending on his mood they change. Sometimes hard and unforgiving, other times soft and yielding….” Justin sighed.

“You are so fucked Justin !” Daphne said and this time there was no humor in her voice. Whether or not Justin realized it, he was already half way in love with this guy.

“Daph, I’m not fucked….well not yet anyway…”Justin teased.

Daphne remained silent on the other end. Justin sighed.

“Trust me Daph, neither he nor I are interested in any ‘relationship’. And even if we were, it’s impossible. He feels the same way about love and commitment as I do. My only interest in him, besides friendship, is strictly physical. He’s hot, and I want to fuck him. Plus he’s an interesting subject to study, for purely aesthetic reasons. I’d love to put him on canvas if I could get him to sit for me one day.” Justin added.

“What do you mean he feels the same way about love as you do?” Daphne asked choosing to disregard the rest of the bullshit Justin was spewing about just being interested in his ‘good looks.’

“Just that, he had a bad experience with it in the past. He doesn’t do relationships anymore. He fucks who he wants, when he wants and never the same person twice.” Justin said.

“Wait, you just told me he wants you as his fuck buddy. I may need to brush up on my gay sex terminology but gay or straight, last time I heard, fuck buddies fuck more then once.” Daphne said.

Justin squirmed a bit in his seat.

“It’s solely for convenience sake. We work together and we’re attracted to one another. It’s a perfect arrangement. That’s all. Please Daph, don’t make this out to be more than what it is. I’d think you’d be happy. You never did approve of me fucking a different guy every night. This way, I still can trick if I want, but I don’t have to. If I’m too tired, or not in the mood to cruise someone, or worse yet spend all night cruising someone just to find out he’s a lousy fuck, I can just call up Brian. And he can do the same with me. Look at it this way, we’re friends with benefits. I’m sure you’re familiar with that straight terminology.” Justin said, there was a bit of sarcastic bite to his voice.

Daphne ignored his tone. She knew he was struggling with his decision to take this relationship with Brian to the next level, which apparently was fucking more than once. Friends with benefits... Fuck buddies…On the surface it sounded good, logical even, but she knew nothing ‘real’ ever lived on the surface.

She was starting to worry about this arrangement he’s gotten himself in to and she was at a loss as how to advise him. On one hand, she didn’t want to discourage him from starting any relationship that lasted more than an hour, but on the other hand, if he opened his heart to Brian he would be leaving himself vulnerable to possibly an even more devastating blow then the one he received from Hobbs. As much as Justin liked to think he was in love with Hobbs, Daphne had her doubts. She believed part of that love was cemented in guilt as he felt he ‘owed’ Hobbs for lying to him about who he was. That whole relationship was steeped in deceit from the beginning. Hobbs betrayal may have crushed his spirit, but it didn’t crush his soul. She had a feeling this Brian Kinney had the capability to do just that, crush his soul.

 

“Justin. Just….be careful, ok?” She said.

Justin didn’t like the sadness he heard in his friend’s voice. “What’s bothering you Daph? Tell me.” Justin asked, he had always trusted Daphne’s instincts.

“You’ve been hurt and you haven’t fully healed yet. I’m glad you’ve found someone you actually like enough to make an emotional connection with. However, he’s damaged Justin, you just said so yourself. If you’re not careful, he can hurt you. I doubt he would do it intentionally, but if he’s in a bad place, he can drag you down to that place with him. A place you’re still trying to crawl out of.” Daphne said.

Justin considered her words carefully. Daphne never gave him bad advice and she never voiced an opinion she didn’t feel strongly about. Her concerns were valid, concerns he too had. He knew there were dangers in having a relationship with someone just as damaged as he was, even if that relationship was just ‘casual’ in nature. However though the sex may be casual, the friendship was anything but. How they were going to manage to compartmentalize each aspect of their relationship was a mystery to him. He didn’t even know if it was possible. The logical thing for him to do was to simply walk away…But he couldn’t. Daph was right, he was already ‘connected emotionally’ to Brian. Oh he could walk away, but the truth was, he didn’t want to. And maybe he’d regret that decision down the road, but for right now, he chose to take the risk.

“Daph, I hear you, and I agree. But I’m not ready to walk away from whatever the fuck is going on with us. I like him, we’re friends, and I’m attracted to him. I may never love again Daph, but I CAN be happy! Don’t I fucking deserve at least that? Will it get complicated? Fuck it’s already complicated! Will I be hurt if it ends badly? Yes, it will probably set me back big time. But knowing all this, I still choose to be with him. Whatever that means, and right now it means being fuck buddies.” Justin said.

Daphne’s heart filled with both joy and sadness for her friend. The joy was for the fact that Justin was opening up emotionally again, taking risks. The sadness because she feared he was going to get hurt again, and it was just too soon for him to take another blow like that. Still, wasn’t that what love was about? Not being afraid to take risks? And after what happened with Hobbs nobody would have blamed him for being afraid. But that wasn’t who Justin was. He was the most courageous person she knew, always had been. Whether it was risking his life in his profession to save others, or risking his heart when it’s already been so bruised and battered. Justin ‘chose’ to take the risk. She couldn’t have been more proud of him then she was at this moment.

“Justin, do you know what you’re doing? You’re taking a chance on love...” Daphne said.

Justin refused to look at it like that. He DIDN’T love Brian! He couldn’t….

“I’m taking a chance on happiness Daph, NOT Love. There is a difference.” He said.

Daphne decided to let Justin believe what he needed to believe right now to go forward in the relationship.

“Well what ever you call it, you know I’m here for you, and if you need, I’ll be there for you in a heartbeat. As long as I live Justin Taylor, you’ll never be unloved, or alone.” Daphne said in a tearful voice.

Justin started choking up. There were times like this when he remembered that despite all the bad shit that went down in his life, he was the luckiest man alive. But instead of giving into the overwhelming emotions threatening to suffocate him, he opted for levity.

“Jesus Daph, you sure you’re not a lesbian?” He asked.

Daphne laughed. Justin always knew exactly the right thing to say.

“Not unless Dr. Martinez has a pussy.” She answered.

“Dr. Martinez? Come on, spill. Enough of my ‘Gays of Our Lives’ drama. Tell me all about the good, sexy doctor.” Justin said.

“I will, but not now. I’ve got to go. I need to shower then I have to run out to meet my parents for dinner. But don’t worry, I swear not to breathe a word about the good doctor to them until I fill you in on all the details!” Daphne promised.

“Hmmm…I’ll hold you to that. Tell ma and pa Chanders I said hi. And call me when you get in tonight.” Justin said.

“You got it.”

“Later brat…love you.” Justin said.

“Love you too.”

Justin hung up the phone and took a deep cleansing breath. He felt much better. He always did after talking to Daphne. He looked over to the clock on the wall; it was just past nine in the evening. It was too early to hit the clubs so he decided to do some work on his computer. After about fifteen minutes he gave up because he just couldn’t concentrate and went back to sketching. His pad was nearly full when a knock came on his door. He looked up at his clock, it was almost midnight.

Justin put his sketchbook to the side and got up to answer the door.

He unlocked his door and pulled it open.

“You open your door at this time of night without checking to see who it is first?” Brian asked in a censured tone.

Justin stood aside to let him in. “Who else would it be? I don’t think a burglar would knock. Agnes is away, and you’re the only friend I’ve made since moving here…well you and Tina the Barista girl. And I doubt she does delivery to this part of town this late at night. So having weighed all the possibilities, it was just a matter of simple deduction from there Watson. It had to be you.” Justin said gracing him with a million watt smile as he shut the door behind him.

Brian saw that smile and lost all reason. He grabbed Justin by his shirt, spun him around and slammed him against the door, pinning him there with his body. He executed the move with such speed it took Justin totally by surprise. His body instantaneously filled with lust once his brain registered Brian’s intent.

“You know Sunshine, I do believe I owe you a proper thank you.” Brian said leaning in to nip at Justin’s bottom lip. Justin could smell the alcohol on his breath, it immediately cooled his ardor. He mentally groaned in frustration. It wasn’t fucking fair but he didn’t want his first time with Brian to be the result of a drunken stupor. When they finally did have sex, Justin wanted Brian fully alert and sober.

“Ok then, let’s revisit that Barista option. I think you could use a cup of strong coffee right now. There is a Starbucks just around the corner that stays open all night. Come on, my treat.” Justin said as he maneuvered his way out from under Brian.

Brian turned to look at him. “I’m not drunk,” he stated.

“You’re not sober either. What happened?” Justin asked walking away towards his bedroom to retrieve his coat. Brian started to follow him when his eye caught the open sketchpad lying on the couch. He bent over to retrieve it then started flipping through it.

“Nothing, I handled Boyd, it just took a few more drinks then I anticipated to get him into a more agreeable mood. The good news is, he’s willing to work with us.” Brian said as he continued to study the drawings.

“That is good news." Justin said coming out of his bedroom

"You’ll need his cooperation if you want….” Justin stopped in his tracks when he saw Brian looking at his sketchbook. Brian was too engrossed in the drawings to notice Justin had stopped talking.

Justin walked over to him and waited for him to acknowledge him. Brian reached the last page then flipped the pad shut. He looked over at Justin.

“Why the fuck are you wasting your time doing police work?” He asked.

Justin took the pad away from him. “I don’t do police work anymore, remember? I’m a private dick now,” he said with a smirk.

Brian grabbed his hand. “You’re a fucking artist! Jesus Justin you can’t tell me you don’t know how good you are? Those drawings of me and Gus are amazing! Such detail, and all from memory?” Brian asked.

Justin pulled his hand from Brian’s. He opened the sketchpad and looked at his own work. “They are pretty good aren’t they?” He said absentmindedly.

Daphne had been telling him for years that he was talented but he always dismissed it as bias observations as she was his best friend. She suggested that he take some art classes but he never did. He told her he loved drawing and painting, but it was just a hobby.

“Justin, they aren’t just good, they’re good enough to show to someone in the field. Lindsey runs an art gallery. She knows a lot of people. I really think you should have a professional take a look at these and give you an honest critique.” Brian said.

 

Justin scrunched up his face. “No way!” He said placing the sketchpad on the coffee table.

“Those are personal,” he said as he slipped his coat on.

“Well do you have any other work?” Brian asked.

“Sure. I’ve some paintings I’ve done though I haven’t had time to unpack them yet.” Justin said guiding Brian over to the door.

“I want to see them when they’re unpacked.” Brian demanded.

“Whatever you say, you’re the boss.” Justin said flippantly as he opened the door and motioned for Brian to exit.

“Wait, where are we going?” He asked.

Justin rolled his eyes. “To the Starbucks, around the corner.” He said.

Brian tilted his head and pulled his bottom lip in. “I have a better idea,” he said.

“Uh huh, I know you do. But I’m not having sex with you when you’ve had too much, so forget it.” Justin said.

Brian snorted. “Trust me Blondie, I’ve had much more than this and was still able to function,” Brian said.

“Yeah, well maybe I want more then a perfunctory performance.” Justin countered.

Brian grimaced at the slight. “Ok, point taken. But that wasn’t the idea I had.”

“Well you can tell me about it on the way to Starbucks.” Justin said locking the door once they were on the other side.

“How about I tell you about it on the way to the hospital.” Brian asked.

Justin was already half way to the stairs, having opted to forego the elevator since it was only one flight down, when Brian made the odd request. He turned to face Brian who was right on his heels.

“And why would we be going to the hospital?” He asked cautiously.

“Because it’s after midnight, which means the guard on duty, who I happen to know is Mason, will be asleep on the job and county is always short staffed so the nurse on duty won’t be able to check on the patient more than twice tonight. That leaves us open for a late night visit.” Brian said.

Justin’s eyes widened as understanding dawned on him.

“John Doe!” He exclaimed.

“Look at that, blonde and smart. What are the odds?” Brian teased.

“Slim to none. You just got lucky.” Justin countered.

Brian laughed. “So you up for it? I’d like to get a look at this John Doe before Monday. I don’t want to be blindsided by whatever the fuck Horvath’s is not telling me.” Brian said.

“Oh I’m in, but first, coffee.” Justin said.

“Deal. I’m going to need a double espresso Venti chocolate mocha latte for this little excursion.” Brian said.

Justin laughed. “You do know how gay that sounds, right?” He teased.

Brian jogged down the stairs past Justin. “I must be losing my touch if you haven’t noticed by now that I'm gay. Perhaps it will sink in when I sink into you.” Brian smiled.

Justin didn’t have time to respond as Brian was already out of the building and half way down the street on a mission.

He smiled however knowing the subject of ‘who gets to top’ would be dealt with soon enough. Right now however, there was a mystery to solve. Justin had to admit to himself he was curious as hell as to who this “John Doe” was and why Horvath was keeping Brian in the dark about him.

 

Thirty minutes later they entered the hospital and snuck past the security guard in search of Mason. They found him on the third floor, asleep, just as Brian predicted with no nurse in sight.

Brian put his hand on the knob of the door that Mason was supposedly guarding and turned to Justin gesturing him to be quiet, before letting them in. It was dark inside; the room was only slightly illuminated by a small florescent light fixture that hung over the hospital bed. The silhouette of a prone figure lay beneath the sheets of the bed. Brian inched closer to get a better look. Justin followed him. The man was facing away from them, propped on his side with a rolled up blanket of sorts. The nurse must have positioned him that way so he wouldn’t get bedsores from lying in the same position for too long.

Brian walked around to the other side of the bed to get a look at his face. Justin watched him closely searching his eyes for any signs of recognition. But Brian showed none, in fact, Brian wasn’t showing any expression in his face. Minutes went by, awkward minutes with Brian just standing there starring down at the man in the bed. Justin kept his gaze trained on him waiting for some sort of reaction from him. Either he knew him or didn’t. Justin couldn’t tell, Brian wasn’t showing any signs one way or the other. He thought he saw him slant his head to the left just a fraction there for a moment but couldn’t be sure. His features remained stoic. Justin couldn’t stand the suspense anymore and went to join Brian on the other side of the bed. He looked down at the man who Brian had been starring at for the past several minutes. He was a good looking man with brown hair and pale, smooth skin. He looked to be in his late thirties, maybe early forties Justin couldn’t really tell. He looked up at Brian.

“Bri?” He whispered to get his attention.

Brian turned blinking eyes to him as if he didn’t expect to see Justin standing there.

“Do you know him?” Justin asked.

Brian looked back at the man. “Yeah, I do,” he said in a deadpan voice.

“Who is he?” Justin asked.

Brian once again turned to look at Justin.

“Oh, I’m sorry Sunshine, where are my manners? Justin Taylor, meet Mark Stanford.” Brian made the introduction in a macabre voice that was disguised as humor.

Justin looked back at the man. Mark Stanford. Brian made the introductions as if the name should somehow mean something to Justin.

“Is he a friend of yours?” Justin asked not knowing how to react to Brian’s strange mood.

Brian let out a harsh brittle laugh. “I really don’t know. I guess he might think so. I know he believes he did me a favor at one time, but you’re going to have to ask him.” Brian said, his voice growing more sarcastic with each word.

“Um, you do realize the man is in a coma, right?” Justin asked.

Brian tilted his head and studied Mr. Stanford.

“Hmmm…I think you might be right,” he said then leaned over so his face was close to the man’s. He took a deep breath, as if smelling him, then turned back to look at Justin.

“Well he’s still breathing. And he still reeks of that over priced cologne he used to wear. Though I don’t know how that is possible, they must have bathed him. But then again, you wear imitation designer cologne long enough and it seeps into you skin. You start sweating it.” Brian said callously. He then lifted the bed sheet and looked under it.

“Brian! What are you doing?” Justin asked growing increasing uncomfortable with Brian’s actions.

“Just checking to see what he’s packing.” Brian said.

“Brian who the fuck is this guy!” Justin demanded this time.

“Mark Stanford. I told you.” Brian said frowning as he spied the man’s cock.

“Figures. He can’t be more than 7 inches hard,” he said then dropped the sheet and brought his face back up to the man’s.

“Seriously? Seven inches? Talk about adding insult to injury.” Brian said shaking his head.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Did your soul mate find another mate? Did you come looking for me to tell me I was right? To cry on my shoulder thinking we could commiserate over deceitful lovers?” Brian asked.

Understanding was starting to dawn on Justin.

“Brian, is this Coach?” He asked.

Brian sighed and straightened up away from the bed.

“No, this is the man Coach dumped me for. His ‘soul mate’. I met him just once but it was a noteworthy event. Mr. Stanford taught me a very valuable lesson right before he fucked off with the ‘supposedly’ love of my life. That lesson has served me well over the years.” Brian said only this time there was no sarcasm in his voice, no humor, just a statement of fact delivered in a monotone voice.

Justin didn’t speak. There really wasn’t anything to say so he just stood next to Brian in quiet support. Brian took another few moments just looking at the man then nodded his head briskly as if coming to a decision.

“Our business is done here,” he said then turned on his heels and headed towards the door. Justin quickly followed after him.

“Brian, where are you going?” Justin asked.

“I’m going to get a drink. You’re welcome to join me.” Brian said not breaking his stride.

“That’s it then? You’re not going to do anything about this? He’s a John Doe and you’re the only one who knows his identity! You have to call Horvath and tell him. I know this is difficult for you, but the man might have family looking for him. You just can’t walk out on him.” Justin tried to reason with him.

“Oh but I can, and I am. You can tell Horvath if you want. I’m sure once he finds out our history, a history by the way I told you in confidence, he’ll suspect me of putting Stanford in that bed. But you do what you have to. I’m fucking wiping my hands of this. Horvath can go fuck himself if he thinks he’ll get any information from me. Stanford can rot in his anonymous state forever for all I care. The irony of it is priceless, don’t you think? Years ago he and Connie left me to rot - now I’m leaving him. I do believe they call that poetic justice.” Brian said then opened the door and left.

Justin watched him go with a frustrated sigh. He was angry, very angry, for so many reasons he couldn’t sort them in his head. He was angry at Mark Stanford for showing up now just when he and Brian were getting close. He was sure Brian was not only going to back off from their ‘fuck buddy’ agreement, but also from their friendship. His past just came to bite him in his ass. He was going to go into protective mode. Justin would do the same if their roles were reversed.

And he was angry at Horvath for not trusting Brian to begin with and coming to him sooner, before Justin got as close as he did to Brian. Now it wasn’t just Brian’s problem, it was his. But most of all he was angry at Brian for believing for one second he would break his confidence and tell Horvath anything. That was Brian’s place, not his.

He silently cursed long and hard as he left the hospital building. He had no idea where Brian was going but he had to find him. He remembered telling Daphne earlier that things were already complicated. He also remembered thinking that things couldn’t get more complicated. He had never been more wrong as it turned out.

He pulled his cell phone out and scrolled down to the number Brian punched in earlier for his cell. Complicated or not, he wasn’t going to let Brian deal with this alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin slid on to the barstool next to Brian’s. He was barely in his seat when the bartender came over to him with an excited expression on his face.

“Hey Justin. Where ya been?” He asked.

Brian’s ears perked up, though his attention remained on the drink in front of him.

Justin smiled at him indulgently. “Somewhere else,” he said in a dismissive tone as he turned to look at Brian who was doing his best to pretend not to notice Justin, or his conversation with the bartender.

The bartender’s body stiffened at Justin’s obvious brush off. “What can I get you?” He asked in a brusque tone.

Justin nodded his head in Brian’s direction. “I’ll have what he’s having,” he said.

The bartender glanced between the two men with barely restrained jealousy then walked away to fill the order.

Brian turned to look at Justin. “You fucked Ross?” He asked.

Justin smiled conspiratorially at him then leaned over so their shoulders were touching and whispered... “Is that is name? I never did get it,” he confessed slyly.

Brian actually cracked a smile. A genuine smile and Justin breathed a sigh of relief. After what happened at the hospital, he didn’t know what mood he’d find Brian in.  
He was surprised as it was that Brian actually told him where he was when Justin called him.

Justin was about to elaborate on his sexual exploits with the good-looking bartender just to see if he could coax another smile out of Brian when Ross returned with his drink.

“Thanks.” Justin said then left some money on the table. “Oh and Ross, keep the change,” he said.

Ross grabbed the bills off the bar and gave Justin a scathing look before turning away without thanking him for the large tip.

Justin sighed. “Some people are so ungrateful,” he said then picked up the shot glass and tossed back the brown liquid.

“Arrrrghhh! Fucking Whiskey. I forgot you liked this shit,” he said making a face.

Brian had to hold in his smile. “You didn’t seem to mind it the other night.” Brian said.

“I was stoned out of my fucking mind the other night. I would have drank anti-freeze had you offered it to me.” Justin said.

Brian let out a short laugh. “Ah, poor baby. I’ll make sure to keep some white wine at the loft for the next time you visit. Or would you prefer Sangria?” He asked jesting.

“I’d prefer Don Julio.” Justin said.

“I think I fucked him once at the baths.” Brian said with a smirk. He knew Justin was talking about Don Julio Tequila and he was impressed with his choice of poison, though not surprised. The powerful potion matched his blonde’s personality. Smooth and sophisticated yet dangerously seductive and hard edged.

“Ha ha. Very funny, though I’d keep my day job if I were you.” Justin said encouraged that Brian was engaging in light banter.

“I do my best work at night.” Brian said.

“Hmmm…no doubt. And what about tonight?” Justin asked edging into hazardous territory.

Brian looked over at him warily. “What about tonight?” He asked.

“You gonna ‘work’ tonight?” Justin asked.

Brian finished off his drink and motioned for Ross to set him up again.

“If you mean am I going out fucking tonight, then yes, as soon as I’m done here. I told you Blondie, I can hold a good amount of liquor and still perform. And it’s been my experience that drunk or not, my ‘perfunctory’ performance is better than most people’s best performance.” Brian said throwing Justin’s words from earlier this evening back at him.

“Well then, what do you say we prove that theory?” Justin challenged.

Brian gave him a dubious look. “What are you suggesting?’ He asked.

“That we see how drunk you can get and still make me cum.” Justin said as if he were suggesting a bowling match.

Brian just gaped at him.

Justin laughed. “Now that’s a good start. Keep your mouth open like that and we’re half way there,” he said.

Brian immediately snapped his jaws shut. “Ok, enough kidding around. Go home Justin,” he said.

Justin however wasn’t about to go home. Brian was in a bad way and whether he realized it or not, he needed Justin right now. Though he’d bite his tongue off before he’d admit it Justin acknowledged. But this wasn’t just about Brian; it was about him as well. His conversation with Daphne had been weighing heavy on his mind since the incident in the hospital room. Justin witnessed Brian’s past come back to bite him and he couldn’t help but wonder how he would react if it were his past. Pretty much the same way as Brian had reacted he presumed, and for the same reasons. He’d wasted so much time, like Brian had, building up walls, never trusting anyone for fear that he’d be hurt again and all he accomplished was to make himself a prisoner with in those walls. A prisoner of his past, just as Brian was. When push came to shove, those walls did nothing to protect Brian. Justin saw the pain in Brian’s eyes upon seeing his ex’s lover. At first he hid it well, he masked his features to register no emotion, but after a bit, when he started talking to the comatose man, Justin could see the anguish in Brian’s eyes. It made Justin realize that you couldn’t put your past, or the pain associated with it, behind you if it was locked up inside of you.

Justin didn’t want to be a prisoner of his past anymore. He had to break free, and the only way he could do that was to let his guard down and allow himself to trust again. And he was ready to do that with Brian, regardless of the outcome. He didn’t realize until tonight, that walls were often more restrictive then protective.

Now all he had to do was open Brian’s eyes to that fact. He needed to persuade Brian to knock down his walls so he could break free from the pain and fear that has kept him emotionally paralyzed for so long, and move forward…hopefully with him. The details of accomplishing that monumental feat however were still unclear to him.

“Nice try, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. I don’t need protection from you.” Justin said.

Brian threw him a scalding look.

“What the fuck makes you think I was trying to protect you? I have other plans for tonight that don’t include you and I don’t need you hanging around cock blocking me,” he said.

Justin gave Brian one of his million watt smiles and Brian groaned inwardly. It was too fucking scary how much his blond was ‘on to him’. He was trying to protect Justin. He was in a very dangerous mood and didn’t want Justin to suffer the fall out from it. All he wanted to do was get some fucking control back in his life! Seeing Mark again after all these years rattled him big time. He felt like his world, his carefully crafted world that he built around him to prevent any treacherous emotions from invading, was starting to crumble and he was powerless to stop it. He needed to regroup and get control back. And the best way he knew how to do that was to remind himself of who he was ‘today’. Brian Kinney…self made man, ruthless in business, independent in nature and a walking, breathing fuck machine. The Stud of Liberty avenue, who could fuck any guy he wanted, any time he wanted, with a detachment that was nothing short of masterful and still have them crawling back for more. A man who lived life by his own rules…no apologies, no regrets. That’s who he was today. The ultimate top, in his professional and private life, always in control….and not the pathetic naive boy he use to be who’d do anything just to please a man who thought of him as nothing more then a means to amuse himself until something ‘better’ came along.

“So you DO think I’m hot enough to cock block you!” Justin broadcasted loud enough to draw the attention of more then a few eyes in their direction.

Brian was unmercifully yanked from his musing by Justin’s outrageous statement. He cursed under his breath. “You want to get up and shout that a little louder? I don’t think everyone heard you,” he bit out sarcastically.

Justin beamed and actually put his knee on the stool intending to stand up on it and do just that. Brian immediately tugged him down and clamped his hand over his mouth.

“I swear to GOD Sunshine you breathe one word about ‘cock blocking’ me and I’ll have your balls.” Brian threatened.

Justin’s eyes gleamed with mischief, making his blue irises sparkle over Brian’s hand that was still firmly clamped over his mouth.

“Mrphhtmmmpp.” Justin mumbled beneath Brian’s hand.

“What?” Brian asked.

“AMRPHMMPPP.” Justin mumbled louder.

“Oh for fuck sakes!” Brian said then removed his hand from Justin’s mouth.

“I said is that a promise or a threat?” Justin said.

Brian laughed and shook his head incredulously. “You really are an audacious little fucker aren’t you?” He asked.

“Don’t forget provocative, compelling and unapologetic. You said so yourself.” Justin said repeating his own description of Picasso’s painting that Brian tricked him into using to describe how he felt about him.

Brian caught on immediately. “Brat.” He said yet he couldn’t help the appreciative smile from spreading across his face. ‘Touché Sunshine’ he thought.

“So, if I promise not to cock block you, can I stay and keep you company for awhile? We had such a great day. I don’t want us to end it on a sour note. Let’s just get drunk enough to forget the past couple of hours. Then I’ll go home and leave you to your debauched ways. I promise.” Justin said. He made no promise however of going home alone.

Brian looked at him skeptically but relented in the end. “Fine, but if you can’t keep up I’m putting you in a cab, no arguments.” Brian said.

Justin nodded his head. “Deal,” he said then ordered a shot of Don Julio.

 

^*^*^*^*^*^*

 

Some time later, though neither man was sure exactly how much later, they were still seated in the same spot at the bar drinking and trading friendly insults.

“So wait, wait….” Justin said holding on to the bar for support as he puffed out a breath of air upwards towards the lock of hair that kept falling over his eye. Brian reached over and pushed it aside for him laughing.

Justin smiled a lopsided grin at him. Brian wondered if it were time to put his blond in a cab. Though he’d only had a few shots, followed by a couple of beers, he appeared to be two sheets to the wind.

“So where was I?” Justin asked feigning to have lost his train of thought. In truth he’d been ‘faking’ it for the past hour. Undercover work taught him how to role play to perfection and he was plying all his skills right now to convince Brian that he was drunk - before he actually got drunk.

“Ok golden boy, time I called you a cab.” Brian said rising from his stool.

“Good idea! I’m fucking bored here. I heard there’s a club in town called Meathook. Sounds like an innerestin place…” Justin said slurring his words just a bit.

“No fucking way I’m letting you go to Meathook in your condition!” Brian said unable to hide the fear in his voice. Justin was in no condition to go to a place like that. He’d get eaten up alive by those Doms.

Justin was encouraged by the concern he heard in his voice. Brian Kinney did give a shit about him. Even if he didn’t realize it yet, he would soon enough.

Justin giggled and gently punched Brian in the chest. “You don’t own me! I’m a big boy Daddy….” Justin said then fell into an uncontrolled fit of laughter as if he just said the funniest thing in the world. He doubled over and wrapped his arms around his waist as he laughed.

“Daddy! Get it? Meathook? Daddy?” He explained once he caught his breath as if it made sense.

Brian made a face. “I just knew you’d be difficult!” He said then threw a few bills on the bar, before turning to Justin.

“Come on Blondie. I’ll give you a ride home.” Brian offered.

Justin pouted which Brian found totally adorable, or would have anyway if his blond wasn’t being such a pain in the ass.

“I don’t wanna go home,” he said peevishly.

Brian leaned over so their faces were close. “Fine, then I’ll take you to Meathook. But first you need to go home and change.” Brian said hoping the subterfuge would work. He was banking on Justin passing out or losing interest in going out again once he was home.

Justin looked down at his J-crew jersey Henley and Levi jeans. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” He asked rocking back on his heels a bit precariously. He then hiccupped loudly for effect.

Brian smiled. This was going to be easier then he thought. “Meathook Justin…Think. You need leather.” Brian said.

Justin’s eyes snapped back up to look at Brian. “I have a pair of black leather pants. I haven’t worn them in years but I’m sure I can still squeeze into them. Will they do?” He asked slyly, though he kept his features innocently passive.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it to stem the onslaught of lust that flooded his body at the imagine of his blond in tight black leather pants.

“Yeah, they’ll do. Come on, let’s go,” he said abruptly then led Justin out of the bar and into his car, which wasn’t an easy task since his blond kept leaning on him for support.

Twenty minutes later Justin was fumbling with his key trying to unlock his door.

“Here, give it to me.” Brian said growing impatient.

Justin smiled and gave him the key. Brian opened the door and let them in.

Justin walked inside and swayed a little bit. “Shit Bri…I’m not feeling too good,” he lied.

Brian grew immediately concerned. He grabbed Justin by the arm and led him over to the couch.

“Easy Sunshine. You sit here and I’ll make some coffee.” Brian said.

Justin smiled weakly at him and rested his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes. He heard Brian rustling around in his kitchen and stole a look.

‘Ok, you got him here, now what?’ Justin asked himself. He didn’t think this far ahead. His goal initially was to get Brian back to his place preventing him from going out to prove something to himself that not only he didn’t need to prove, but wasn’t worth proving. He knew Brian needed to get control over his emotions after seeing Mark, or more accurately, prove to himself that he didn’t have emotions that needed controlling. And he knew he was going to do that by fucking random tricks with no motive other then to receive a maximum amount of pleasure, with the minimum amount of bullshit. But Justin didn’t want him to do that. That’s been his M.O. ever since Coach hurt him. Justin wanted to be the one to help him break that pattern. He believed that Brian had genuine feelings for him. He believed it so strongly, that no one, not even Brian himself, could convince him otherwise. If Brian needed anything proven to him, it was that he was capable of having feelings for another man again, and it wasn’t going to kill him if he did. Justin only recently started believing in his own ability to ‘care’ again, and Brian was the reason for his revelation.

“Justin, I think your milk is sour.” Brian called over from the kitchen breaking into Justin’s thoughts.

Justin laughed as he watched Brian make a face after smelling the contents of the plastic container.

“I’ll take it black, thanks.” Justin said.

Brian looked over at him suspiciously. Amazingly enough, he didn’t sound so drunk now. It suddenly dawned on him that he’d been had, and as annoyed at that fact as he should have been, he just couldn’t muster up any real anger. Something about being ‘had’ by his hot blond appealed to him. Well, at least to his dick anyway.

He poured them both cups of the strong black coffee that he brewed in the cheap, and no doubt second hand, Mr. Coffee machine and added sugar to each. Being the observant P.I. he was, he knew Justin took two spoons of sugar, with a little cream when available, in his coffee while he poured several spoons of sugar into his own cup, which he always took black. He brought the steaming cups over to the couch and handed Justin one as he sat down next to him. He took a sip of the strong brew then turned inquisitive eyes on Justin to find him staring at him with a guilty expression.

“So…Now that you’ve managed to get me here under false pretenses, why don’t you tell me what other Machiavellian plans do you have in store for me?” Brian asked.

This was the part that Justin had to feel his way through. He smiled at him ruefully.

“Are you mad?” He asked.

Brian sighed. “Were you lying about the leather pants too?” He asked wryly.

Justin relaxed a bit. “As if I would lie about something that important!” He said.

Brian laughed. “Then no, I’m not mad, but I am confused. Why am I here? You said you didn’t want to have sex with me when I’ve been drinking. News flash, I’ve been drinking. I’m not drunk, you can see that, but I’m not feeling much pain right now. Don’t think I could win a battle of ‘who tops’ however. You could take advantage of me if you wanted.” Brian teased.

Justin lowered his eyes. “That’s not what you want. It’s not what you need tonight.” Justin said.

Brian’s teasing smile quickly turned into a frown.

“You don’t know what the fuck I need. I can tell you what I don’t need, and that’s fucking pity from you. Is this what this is about? You want to ‘give yourself’ to me so I can forget about Mark and my past? My, my Sunshine how very altruistic of you.” Brian bit out caustically.

Justin cringed at Brian’s words. He really couldn’t blame him for thinking that, yet it infuriated him. He did want to give himself to Brian, but not for the reasons Brian thought. And yes, the timing was suspect; there was no denying that, but sometimes things happened for a reason. And Marks reappearance in Brian’s life was one of those ‘things’. It caused Justin to reflect on his own past ‘demons’ and how they affected his life today. Justin brought Brian here for his own sake, as well as Brian’s. He certainly didn’t think Brian would think he lured him here because he felt sorry for him! That just enraged Justin.

“Oh, yeah right. I pity you,” he responded tersely then followed it up with a harsh bitter laugh.

“I feel soooo sorry that you have literally a harem of men at your beck and call waiting for the privilege to be fucked by you. And of course, knowing the mood you’re in since seeing Mark, why wouldn’t I want to be the one you use as a cum receptacle? At least those other guys would be spared the truth. They would have no reason to think that you were using them for any other reason then you found them ‘worthy’ of fucking, and take it for the compliment it’s rumored to be where as I would know you don’t give a shit who you use tonight...Any hole will do as long as you can dump your load and your pain in it just to prove something to yourself that shouldn’t fucking need proving at this point in your life! Yeah I really want to sign up for that gig because ‘I’m that altruistic.’ Fuck you Brian.” Justin said clearly outraged.

Brian’s ire turned to embarrassment at Justin’s outburst. He couldn’t deny his accusations. He pretty much nailed Brian’s intentions for this evening and having them voiced out loud made Brian realize how callous his motives were. Still, he didn’t like his shortcomings thrown in his face.

“Then what the fuck is this about?” He asked a little resentfully.

“Not everything is about you Brian!” Justin shouted then turned his eyes away.

He needed to rein his emotions in. He didn’t want his anger to cloud his thinking. Getting into a screaming match would accomplish nothing. He just needed to tell Brian the truth, and hope Brian would ‘hear’ him. He took a deep steadying breath before he spoke again.

“Tonight affected me as well,” he said in a much lower subdued voice.

Brian hadn’t thought of that, he was too wrapped up in his own feelings on seeing Mark again after all these years that he didn’t think what Justin must be feeling, or more accurately, fearing, having seen Brian’s past come to bite him in the ass. Justin had a past too, one he moved to another state to get away from.

“Shit Justin...I didn’t think.” Brian said.

Justin looked up at him. “Yeah, well I can’t blame you. That was some emotional sucker punch you received this evening. I don’t know if I would have handled it as well as you did. Which got me thinking. When I was talking to Daphne earlier…”

“Daphne?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, she’s my Mikey, though smarter, and not so pathetic,” he said with a wry smile.

Brian laughed. “That might be true, but Mikey is my best friend for a reason. He has other redeeming qualities.” Brian said yet didn’t elaborate.

Again Justin had the urge to ask him how the two met and became best friends but held off deciding the matter at hand was more important.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s obvious how loyal he is to you, and that quality alone is enough to earn my respect.” Justin said.

“He’s very loyal, that’s true. But you don’t have to apologize. He’s also pretty pathetic at times. It’s part of his charm.” Brian said smiling.

Justin smiled back pleased he didn’t insult Brian with his comment about his best friend.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I was talking to Daphne and she reminded me of something I’d forgotten. She reminded me of who I was…who I still am.” Justin said. His smile suddenly faded away as he recalled what Chris had done to him.

“Talk about pathetic. I let some worthless prick define me for the past few years,” he said then laughed bitterly as he shook his head.

“I’m NOT someone who runs and hides when he gets burned. I regroup and come back stronger. I’m a fighter. Yet because of what Hobbs did, I let myself believe I wasn’t that fighter anymore. That somehow I was weak for letting that happen to me. As if it was my fault. So what did I do? I pulled into myself and withdrew. I chose not to fight, and instead put up my defenses. For years I hid behind the safety of my walls, never letting anyone in, or close enough to hurt me again. And in the process, I stopped living. Oh I exist, very well too, I have all my needs met, but I don’t live. Well no more. That all changes now. Tonight.” Justin said looking up at Brian with so much meaning in his eyes.

Brian held his breath waiting for the next shoe to drop. He had a feeling he knew where Justin was heading with this yet he wasn’t ready for it.

Justin put his cup down on the coffee table and turned towards him.

“Sometimes the truth comes out in a jest, like our ‘battle’ to top. We jest about it, but it is a real issue with us, isn’t it?” Justin asked.

Brian didn’t answer; instead he looked away and took a sip of his coffee.

“I haven’t bottomed since Hobbs.” Justin said quietly, so quietly Brian wasn’t sure he heard him correctly. But he didn’t have to. He suspected as much. He turned his eyes back to Justin acknowledging with his gaze that he knew what it took for him to make that confession. He knew, because he too hadn’t bottomed since Conrad and it was a fact he suspected Justin on some level knew as well.

Justin held Brian’s gaze, finding courage in it, and continued.

“After the incident I didn’t trust anyone enough to give myself to them in that way, to give them that kind of power over me…until now. I’ll never be free of Hobbs as long as I live in fear of being hurt again. And the only way to rid myself of that fear is to let someone I trust, top me. Brian…I trust you.” Justin said.

Brian shook his head and put his coffee down on the table next to Justin’s.

“No, I can’t, don’t ask me. Not tonight. You KNOW I’m not in a good way tonight! You were right, all I want to do is lose myself in some ass, and I don’t give a fuck whose ass it is! Except yours. I won’t do that to you Justin. It can’t be tonight. Maybe another time, but not tonight, I can’t,” he said rising from the couch. He then started pacing in front of Justin.

“It has to be tonight Brian, and precisely because of the reasons you say you can’t. What good is me trusting again if that trust is guaranteed? You see it’s all about me taking a risk again. I stopped taking risks, and in the process, stopped living. Life IS risk. I want you, tonight. In whatever mood you’re in because I trust you. Does that guarantee you won’t get lost in your own pain and hurt me? No, but the whole purpose of me taking a chance won’t mean a thing if there isn’t risk involved.” Justin said.

Brian stopped pacing and stared at him as if he lost his mind.

“Are you insane? I can’t promise I won’t hurt you!” Brian said.

Justin smiled at him. “I ask no promises of you,” he said.

Justin’s logic was infuriating Brian. He ran his hand through his hair frustrated at the sudden turn of events in the evening. The whole fucking night was turning out to be one long nightmare.

“You’re asking too much of me.” Brian said.

Justin frowned. “Am I? I don’t think so. I’m not stupid Brian. It’s not like I’m throwing myself into a shark tank, as you seem to think I am. I don’t think you’re getting the part where I said I trust you,” he said.

Brian looked at him sharply. “Well maybe you shouldn’t,” he said.

“Why, because you don’t trust yourself?” Justin asked.

Brian held his gaze. “Yes,” he answered honestly.

“Then I guess you’ll be taking a risk too. Isn’t it time Brian that you too stop living in fear?” Justin ventured cautiously.

Brian snorted. “I don’t live in fear, I live in ‘reality’,” he said.

“Your reality.” Justin corrected. Brian looked at him askance.

“Brian, you’re smart enough to realize that we create our own realities. You created your reality when you were way too young. You got burned at an early age. You never had the experience of sharing true affection with another man before. I have.” Justin said.

Now Brian gave him a patronizing look. “Really? And how did that turn out for you Sunshine?” He asked sarcastically. Justin’s little revelation only proved his point. All relationships of a romantic nature were doomed to end badly.

Justin surprised him by smiling brightly at him.

“Actually it was fucking great! Daphne reminded me of that tonight.” Justin said.

Brian actually sneered. “So you dumped him? Or do you just like getting dumped?” He asked cruelly.

Justin ignored his rancor knowing where it was coming from.

“Actually we parted on good terms. I know that’s hard for you to understand, or accept. You were too young when you got hurt, and because you never had any frame of reference to compare what happened with Coach, it was natural for you to assume that all relationships would eventually end as badly as yours did. Well, all relationships aren’t the same. I have nothing but fond memories of Matt. We were in the academy together. Our affair was hot and lasted a couple of years. But as these things happen, he got offered a job down south and I stayed up north. We parted amicably.” Justin said.

Brian looked at him skeptically. “Then you couldn’t have loved him,” he said.

“Define love.” Justin challenged.

Brian opened his mouth to speak but then shut it abruptly. He knew there were many forms of love. He loved his son, he loved his best friend, he loved the mother of his child, he loved Deb, his surrogate mother and…he had loved Conrad. But wasn’t his relationship with Coach how all romantic relationships were?

Justin watched the myriad of emotions flit across Brian’s face.

“Brian, there are different degrees of love, even in romantic love. Yeah, I loved Matt. Was I in love with him? No. He wasn’t my one true love. I don’t even know if there is such a thing. My relationship with Hobbs was…well God knows what that was, but I’m starting to believe it was anything but love. Matt and I had a totally different kind of arrangement. We enjoyed being with each other, we respected each other, and the sex was fucking great. Isn’t that a form of love?” Justin asked.

Brian had to admit, it could be called that. Though he never thought of it that way. Apart from his friends, he never considered being with another man for reasons other than sex, or for longer than one night. He always believed anything more would only end in disaster. But Justin was telling him it was possible to enjoy another man’s company in all ways, including sexual, and not have it end badly. A big part of him wanted to deny that possibility, but another part of him couldn’t because that was exactly what he wanted to do with Justin. Enjoy his company, in all ways, including, sexually, (ok, well maybe more specifically sexually) without any danger of falling in ‘love’, for as long as he could.

He was so fucking confused, a state he noticed he was perpetually in since his blond showed up in his life. He flopped down on the couch next to Justin.

“Ok, I will concede that enjoying another man’s company for a length of time beyond one night might be pleasant enough and non-threatening. But I would NEVER use the word ‘love’ to describe it!” Brian said.

Justin nodded his head. “Understood,” he consented.

“But….how do you know…” Brian asked.

Justin knew exactly what Brian was asking.

“You’ll have to answer that question yourself. How did you know I was the one you would want to break your ‘no repeat’ fuck rule for? What made you want us to become fuck buddies?” He asked.

Brian put his head in his hands. He fucking hated these kinds of talks! He fucking hated them when Coach wanted to have them…..Brian’s head snapped up. Why didn’t he see that before? Well that was easy enough to answer, because he never let himself think about Conrad. How could he have examined their relationship if he refused to even acknowledge it ever happened? But the truth was, Conrad did try to talk to him, many times, but Brian didn’t want to hear it. He was young, all he wanted to do was fuck, and he always succeeded in shutting his lover up by using sex. Maybe…just maybe Brian subconsciously didn’t want to hear what Conrad had to say. He grimaced. Good call on his part, as it turned out Conrad had nothing to say that Brian wanted to hear. But Justin wasn’t Conrad...

“Ok Brian, you’re scaring me. What the fuck just went through your head?” Justin asked having seen Brian’s brow furrow in deep consternation.

Brian looked over at him. “I was thinking that part of the problem with having a steady lover is that sooner or later, they are going to want to ‘talk’ to you,” he said smirking.

Justin smiled so widely it hurt. Brian just called him his ‘steady lover’. He graduated from fuck buddy to steady lover and they hadn’t even had sex yet!

Brian groaned. “You keep smiling like that Sunshine and I’m going to lose all reason and fuck the shit out of you and to the hell with the consequences,” he said.

Justin kept smiling as he sidled up to him. “And there you have it…my Machiavellian plan,” he said kissing him lightly on the cheek. He then stood up and held his hand out to him.

Brian looked up at him and gave him one last chance to change his mind. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea at all, but God he wanted it so bad.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.” Justin said.

Brian took his hand and let Justin lead him into his bedroom. Once inside, Justin turned around and sat on his bed. He then pulled Brian down next to him. Brian raised his hand and ran his fingers through Justin’s hair. He grabbed on to a lone lock and rubbed it gently between his fingers enjoying the silky feel of it.

Justin held his breath as he watched him. He was more aroused then he ever remembered being. He reached out and caressed Brian’s cheek. “Kiss me,” he said, though it came out as a breathy request.

Brian pushed his hand through Justin’s hair, anchoring the back of his head in his palm as he pulled him in for the kiss. Justin opened his mouth to receive him. A spark of sexual electricity flowed between them as their tongues collided. Both men moaned in unison at the sensation. Their mouths moved against each other’s in perfect symmetry, as if they danced this dance a million times before. Justin could ‘hear’ Brian speak his desire in his kiss. It was in the way his tongue caressed the inside of his mouth….the way his teeth gently scraped at his bottom lip, nipping at it. It was in the breath he was breathing into him, as if he were giving him life, and then taking it back with the breath he stole from him. Justin noticed that Brian was never clearer in his thoughts or intent than when he was kissing him.

Brian pulled Justin closer and deepened the kiss. All thought left Justin as he moaned deeply into Brian’s mouth and gave himself over to the passion he was evoking in him. He raised his arms up and wrapped them around Brian’s neck, pulling him down on to the mattress with him.

Brian followed Justin making sure not to break their kiss as he shifted his body so that he was laying in-between Justin's legs. He placed his hands on either side of Justin's head and rotated his pelvis over Justin's creating friction between their cocks. He grinded against his blond mindlessly. His head was spinning from all that was reveled tonight, he just wanted to stop thinking, and start feeling.

Justin instinctively lifted his hips up increasing the pressure and matching Brian's rhythm. Brian sucked his breath in, stealing Justin’s in the process. They continued to rub, and grind and hump against each other while ravishing each other’s mouth until the moment of release was too close upon them. Brian was seeking physical relief, mindless to anything else. The feel of his blond beneath him, soft and yielding was driving him wild.

Yielding…Justin was yielding his body, and his trust to him.

The thought penetrated his lust. This wasn’t what Justin wanted. He didn’t want Brian to rut against him until he got off. It was exactly as Brian feared he would do. Lose himself to just ‘feeling’. Justin trusted him, and he be damned if he’d betray that trust. He had to do this right. He had to make Justin’s ‘first’ time bottoming again pleasant…memorable. He had to earn his trust.

With a will born from God knows where, Brian reined in his mounting desire.

"Justin..." Brian panted as he pulled away from him breaking their kiss. He lifted himself up on his arms and peered down at him.

But Justin was too lost in his own pleasure. He moaned in protest and sought out Brian’s mouth again as he pushed up harder into Brian. He didn’t want Brian to stop, he wanted to cum.

"Fuck,...Bri....don’t.." He moaned incoherently, digging his fingers into Brian's forearms.  
Brian could see the inner battle Justin was fighting. He wanted him, wanted more, but his mind was still rebelling over giving up complete control. It was one thing to get off dry humping, but quite another thing letting another man inside of your body to give you pleasure. He knew how difficult this was for Justin and it suddenly hit him the magnitude of the gift his blonde was giving him. And it was a gift Brian was going to honor.

Brian leaned over and whispered in Justin's ear.

"Relax Sunshine, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise…I…” Brian hesitated taking a deep breath before he continued..."I want you, I want to be inside you and even then I don’t know if it will be enough. All I know is that this…this is right,” he said.

Justin's eyes flew open at the raw honesty he heard in Brian's voice. He stilled his body for a moment and Brian held his breath, waiting for his response. This was a huge step for his blonde and though he knew he wanted it, wanting something and the reality of actually getting it were two different things.

"I want you too…it’s just, been awhile." Justin said a little uneasily.

There was a vulnerability in those crystal blue eyes that made Brian’s heart clench painfully in his chest.

"I know." he said and kissed his temple. "I’ll go slow, I promise."

Justin let out a deep breath and lowered his hands to unzip his pants.  
Brian lifted himself off of Justin and helped him undress. He then removed his own clothes. Once naked, he lowered the full length of his body over Justin's, making sure they had the maximum amount of skin-on-skin contact as possible.

The heat of Brian's body penetrated Justin's. He wrapped his arms around his back and let his hands roam over the taut smooth skin, experiencing him for the first time.  
Brian let Justin get use to his body, though God knows where he found the strength to refrain from ravishing him. It was pure torture feeling his blonds’ hands caress his body and not react too forcefully. Brian was an aggressive lover by nature. He liked his sex hard and rough but he wanted Justin to feel in control their first time, even as he was about to give it up, allowing him to call the shots.

Justin took his time in exploring all of Brian with his hands, and mouth. He was a virtual beautiful bronze God. Brian was long and lean and powerfully built. His body was hard and smooth to the touch, his skin tasted like warm honey and salt. Sweet and tart at the same time; the combination was intoxicating and Justin couldn’t get enough of him. He rolled them to their sides so he could have better access.

Brian lay there enjoying the attention his blonde was plying on him. Every now and then he would flinch and Justin would smile at each new discovery of all of Brian's sensitive spots, and he branded each one to memory. Finally, his explorations found their way to Brian's cock. He wrapped his fingers around his engorged shaft and gently stroked marveling at the size, and beauty of it.

Brian hissed in excruciating pleasure/pain.

"Easy Sunshine, you don't want me to cum just yet." Brian said.

Justin gave him an impish smile.

"Don't I?" He teased.

Brian groaned and reached down to grab Justin's cock.

Justin gasped.

Brian grinned then rolled Justin over on to his back again and positioned himself above him.

A momentary flash of fear passed over Justin's eyes.

Brian pushed himself to his knees and grabbed Justin's leg. He slowly lifted them, and lowered himself so that the back of Justin's knees fell over Brian's shoulders.

Justin' breath quickened as he watched Brian reach over and pull a condom out from his pocket and hand it to him. “Put it on me,” he said.

Justin took the package and ripped it opened. He then leaned forward and sheathed Brian’s cock, which at this point, throbbed in his hands. Once done, he laid back down. Brian then reached over and retrieved a bottle of lube that he spied sitting on Justin’s bedside table. He popped open the top and squeezed some out. With gentle fingers, he massaged a generous amount to Justin’s opening.

Justin let out a small gasp. “I forgot how cold it was," he said.

"It will heat up." Brian said.

He worked the lube around and inside of Justin; first inserting one finger, as he watched his blonds’ face for any sign of discomfort. When he was satisfied Justin was comfortable, he inserted a second digit, then a third. Justin was squirming at this point, enjoying the sensations Brian was creating in him. He’d forgotten how enjoyable anal play was. His hips started humping upwards as he fucked himself on Brian’s fingers. Brian smiled knowing his blond was ready for more.

“Like riding a bike…” He said then pulled his fingers out and positioned his cock against Justin’s entrance.

He stayed in that position for a while, watching his blonde’s features. The fear was gone, now replaced by desire. He pushed forward and felt Justin stiffen. He paused.

“Justin, there is no rush. I can stop, we can…”

“No.” Justin said shaking his head vigorously. “I want this,” he insisted.

“Justin…Don’t do this if you’re not ready. Just as you didn’t want me to go out fucking tonight to prove something to myself, neither should you. You’ve nothing to prove.” Brian said.

Justin smiled at him a little embarrassed.

“I’m not doing this to prove anything. Maybe it started out that way, but right now I want you inside me, I want to feel you filling me. You’re just…bigger than I’m use to,” he said.

Brian almost laughed, but then noticed the apprehension in Justin’s eyes.

“You can take me Justin. I know it, trust me…” Brian said.

Justin relaxed beneath him. “I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t.” Justin said reaching up to caress his face.

Brian turned his cheek into Justin’s palm and closed his eyes as his heart filled with an emotion he dared not explore. He then leaned over and gently brushed his lips against Justin’s.

“Ready?” He asked.

Justin nodded his head. Brian kissed him again then lifted himself up into position and held his gaze as he slowly pushed into him.

Justin's mouth flew open and a small gasp escaped his lips as he felt himself being stretched opened.

Brian stilled his movements giving Justin time to adjust to him.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Don’t stop...oh God,..." He couldn't finish his sentence as his body instinctively pushed upwards forcing Brian to enter him fully.

It was Brian's turn to gasp in surprise though he shouldn't be. He knew they would just ‘fit’ when it came to this. They fit in every other way, it was only logical their bodies would follow suit.

"Fuck Bri….I…Fuck!" Justin growled pulling his knees back further so that Brian could fill him more. He was shocked at his own reaction. He never felt this ‘right’ bottoming. Never. It was as if his body was made for Brian’s. All he could think of was more.

As if reading his mind, Brian wasted no time in granting his blonds’ wish. He pulled out and slammed back into him, over and over again, each time eliciting a small cry of ecstasy from his blonde.

"YES, YES..." Justin screamed and pulled Brian by his hair, forcing his mouth down onto his.

Brian grounded his mouth against Justin's as he plummeted his ass, knowing he was giving Justin what he wanted, while at the same time fulfilling his own raging needs. They fucked like wild animals, each desperate and needy, each seeking more from the other.

Brian, for the first time, felt completely out of control. He was a slave to his unbridled desires; his body was at the mercy of the blond lying beneath him. Somewhere in the back of his mind the irony of the situation registered. Whereas it was Justin who was relinquishing control over to him, his own control had shattered. His blond was now dominating him, wrenching from him feelings that he’d never experienced before, leading him down a sensual path that inundated all his senses. Brian wasn’t sure how he was going to get control back, or if he even wanted to.

The decision however was out of his hands…out of their hands as their bodies took over, rising and falling together, completely in sync. A little piece of their sanity was ripped from them with each thrust…with each give and take until all reason had left them. Instinctively, their tempo’s increased as their joining crested towards its’ inevitable peak. Their bodies were slick with sweat, the pounding of their hearts roared loudly in their ears drowning out the feral groans and grunts escaping their lips. Breathing became laborious and strained. It wasn’t long before they were calling out each other's name as their orgasms crashed upon them hard, sending waves of unbelievable pleasure coursing through their bodies. They held on tightly, anchoring each other as the powerful release made its way through every nerve ending in their bodies.

Brian held on to Justin, refusing pull out for a long time afterwards. His body jerked as small electric currents continued to assault his body with each tiny post coital quiver that escaped from his blonds’ body.

Justin lay beneath Brian, uncertain when, or if, he’d ever be able to move again and not minding that dilemma one bit. He knew sex with Brian would be good, he just never imagined it would be…well there just weren’t any words for it. It was beyond good, or even great. It was…right. That was the only word that came close to describing what he just experienced with Brian. It was as if ‘this’ was the sex he was always meant to have but no one could give him until now. Brian and he simply ‘fit’.

The thought was both enlightening and a little frightening, but in a good way. Justin however refused to dwell on it. He was content to just ‘be in the moment’, enjoying the feel of Brian’s cock resting inside his body. He let out a small satisfied sigh and stretched. The action caused him to grimace a bit in pain.

Brian immediately reacted by lifting himself off Justin and pulling out of him aware that their joining was a rough one, too rough for someone who hadn’t bottomed in awhile.

“Fuck! Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" He asked anxiously.

Justin felt empty the moment Brian left his body.

"I’m just a little sore. A condition I’d gladly endure over and over again if it meant having orgasm’s like that," he said headily.

Brian chuckled deep in his throat as he removed his condom and tied off the end before tossing it into the wastebasket by the side of the bed.

"So, better than a ‘perfunctory’ performance?” Brian asked teasingly as he lay back down on his side facing Justin.

Justin playfully slapped him.

“Barely…” He drawled dramatically.

Brian laughed and pulled Justin into his arms. Justin snuggled into him. His hands automatically started roaming freely over Brian’s body. He just couldn’t get enough of him.

“Easy tiger, you need some time. You’re definitely going to feel it in the morning. I don’t want to cause you unnecessary pain.” Brian said.

“Well then you got your work cut out for you because I definitely want a repeat of that performance before the night is over.” Justin said.

Brian smiled at his blonds’ fearlessness.

“Well I'm sure we can manage at least one more mind blowing orgasm and keep you in one piece," he assured him.

Justin shook his head.

"That's impossible. I literally fell to pieces with you inside me," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

Brian bit his bottom lip a bit uncomfortable with admitting his own vulnerability, but in the end, there was no denying it.

"I know the feeling," he admitted.

Justin closed his eyes and sighed contently.

"Brian..." He said, in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah?"

"I hope to God you don’t snore," he said.

Brian laughed and pulled him tighter against him.

“Brat.”

 

 

****************************************************

 

Agnes walked into the office juggling her purse, an umbrella, a styrofoam cup of coffee and a bag with a buttered bagel in it that dangled from her clenched teeth. She placed all items on her desk and shook herself out of her wet coat. Though she had an umbrella, it slipped her mind to use it when it started raining as she walked to work this morning.

She hung her coat up then returned to her desk and removed the bagel from the brown paper bag grateful that it wasn’t soggy. She settled in to eat her meager breakfast when she heard noises coming from Cynthia’s office. It was early; she didn’t expect anyone in the office at this hour. She placed her bagel and coffee down and grabbed her umbrella, thinking to use it as a weapon should she need to, and walked towards Cynthia’s office. As she neared, the sounds grew louder. She recognized Cynthia’s voice. She was talking to a man. Agnes lowered her umbrella, relieved that it wasn’t an intruder, and inched closer to the office door that was slightly ajar.

“No I don’t understand! And neither will Brian. There has to be a better way Lucas.” Cynthia’s frustrated voice drifted through the open door.

Agnes had heard enough and started to retreat. She didn’t want to ease drop so she returned to her desk and put her weapon/umbrella down. She then proceeded to partake once more of her breakfast.

The door chimed announcing a visitor. The office was very busy so early on a Monday morning Agnes thought. She looked around the corner to see Brian stroll in carrying a box of goodies.

“Good morning Boss! Are we still celebrating Valentines day?” Agnes asked seeing the box full of sweets in Brian’s hand.

“No, we’re celebrating Rikers’ arrest. Your cousin, who by the way did an amazing job on this case, nailed the creep. He made a full confession, which we managed to get on tape, and is now at the county hospital under guard. When they’re done patching him up there I’m certain he’ll be spending time convalescing in the infirmary at the county jail. At least until his arraignment comes up. But with the amount of evidence we got, I don’t think he’ll be making bail.” Brian said.

“Riker?” Agnes asked.

Brian placed the box full of pastries on Agnes’ desk. “Dumpster boy’s killer,” he said as he retrieved his double espresso cappuccino that was sitting inside the box. He needed the extra caffeine this morning thanks to one hot blonde.

Agnes yelp in glee. “Oh my God you got him!” She said.

“Justin did most the leg work on this one. Shane and I were just back up. The fucker gave us a hard time. I had to put two bullets in him.” Brian said taking a sip of his coffee.

Agnes came around from behind her desk and threw her arms around Brian’s neck. Brian quickly held his hand out that was holding the coffee away from his body and his three thousand dollar Armani suit.

“This is great news Boss! I’m so happy! And I’m so proud of Justin! I’m surprised he didn’t call me.” Agnes said releasing him.

Brian took a step back and looked down at his suit to make sure no damage was done. Satisfied he didn’t spill anything on himself, he raised his eyes up back to Agnes.

“He didn’t want to interrupt your little weekend get away with Stan. How did that go by the way?” Brian asked taking another sip of his coffee.

“Steven Boss, his name is Steven.” Agnes said rolling her eyes.

“And it went very well. He asked me to be his girl. Isn’t that cute?!” Agnes asked.

Brian made a face. “It’s positively nauseating,” he replied.

Agnes laughed.

“Let me know when Emmett and Shane get in. We need to make some decisions on the Boyd case. Oh, and by the way, Justin won’t be coming in till later today.” Brian said as he headed towards his office.

“Why? Is something wrong?” Agnes asked.

Brian groaned inwardly. He was hoping to escape any questions as to why Justin was going to be late. What could he say?

‘Justin needs time to recuperate because I’ve been fucking the shit out of him for most the weekend?’

Brian didn’t think Justin would appreciate him making that little announcement even though Brian felt like screaming it from the roof tops.

The last forty-eight hours have been fucking amazing. They fucked twice more Saturday evening, slept in Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day lounging around, eating, talking, (yes, Brian fucking Kinney actually talked a bit to someone he was fucking, another new experience he was getting use to) and of course fucking some more. Brian quickly learned that his blond was insatiable. He nearly wore him out, a situation that has NEVER happened to him before. Brian also learned that his blond was talented in many areas. Justin gave new meaning to the term ‘deep throating’. When Justin sucked him off he literally felt his cock being massaged by the back of Justin’s throat. With each swallow Brian could feel Justin’s throat squeeze around the head of his cock milking him. It was if he had no gag reflexes. It was an utterly unique and mind blowing experience and Brian doubted he’d ever be satisfied with any other blowjob again in his life. To say it was a pleasurable and memorable weekend would be an understatement to the extreme.

Brian left Justin to get some rest and went back to the loft to change early this morning before coming into work. His blond was sore as hell and needed a reprieve. Brian warned him that he’d be sore. Justin hadn’t bottomed in years, and Brian was no ‘gentle’ lover…as if Justin would have settled for that anyway. His blond was just as aggressive, if not more so, when it came to sex. He liked it down and dirty, and Brian obliged him. Justin loved it rough and had no inhibitions. He matched Brian in every way, loving all that Brian did to him. He especially was a slut for a good rim job, which Brian prided himself on doing extremely well, a fact that was confirmed if Justin’s squeals were any indication. Brian almost smiled at that last thought but restrained himself.

“Brian, is Justin ok?” Agnes asked again, concern laced heavy in her voice. Agnes never called him by his given name, she always called him Boss. The fact that she used his given name was indication of how worried she was.

Brian shook his head in an attempt to clear away his erotic imaginings. If he continued thinking in that vein he’d find himself turning around and heading back to his blonds’ apartment to pick up where they left off.

“He’s fine Agnes. Really. Like I said, Riker gave us a hard time. Justin tackled him to the ground but Riker managed to push him off. Justin hit his head but he’s fine. I swear. I took him to the emergency room and he got checked out. That was Friday night, and he’s been fine all weekend.” Brian explained. It wasn’t a lie, though it wasn’t the reason Justin wasn’t coming in this morning.

Agnes’ face turned white as Brian recanted the events of last Friday. “No, not his head! Brian he can’t have any injuries to his head! He already…”Agnes stopped herself before she revealed personal information about her cousin that wasn’t hers to tell.

Brian went over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “I know about his previous head injury Aggy. The doctors were told and checked him out completely. He stayed with me this weekend to make sure there wouldn’t be any complications. There wasn’t. He’ll be in later today.” Brian tried to reassure her.

Agnes nodded her head. She was slightly relieved, but wouldn’t be satisfied until she talked to her cousin in person.

“Maybe I should call him,” she said.

“Maybe you should let him rest.” Brian suggested heading back towards his office.

“But you said he stayed with you all weekend and he was fine. If he is so fine, why does he need to rest?” She asked.

‘Fuck!’ Brian thought stopping in his tracks. He had no idea what to tell Agnes. He certainly wasn’t going to tell her the truth, it wasn’t his place. He turned to face her again searching his brain for some suitable excuse. He found none.

Agnes frowned seeing the troubled look on her Boss’s face. There was something he wasn’t telling her.

“Brian if something is wrong with my cousin…”

“Agnes, for the last time, Justin is fine!” Brian bit out a little more harshly then he intended too.

Agnes furrowed her brow confused as to Brian’s outburst when it hit her.

“He spent the weekend with me.” He had said.

“Ah Hell Brian! Justin likes working here!” Agnes said in a clearly disappointed voice.

Brian groaned. “And I like him working here. Nothing has changed,” he said.

Agnes threw him a skeptical look. “I should have known better. He’s no better than you, you know,” she said shaking her head.

“Let it go Agnes, it’s not your business.” Brian said with an edge to his voice.

Agnes ignored his tone. “Boss you never keep on an employee you had sex with! And Justin really likes working here, I can tell,” she said.

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“Why does everyone in this office think my sex life is their business? I told you Aggy, I am not firing Justin! He’s a great employee and our relationship outside of work will not interfere with our relationship at work. Now I would appreciate it if you’d just leave it at that.” Brian said then lowered his hand and looked at Agnes.

Agnes stood there with complete and utter shock etched on her delicate features.

“Relationship? Outside of work? Boss, you don’t do relationships!” Agnes said.

Brian made a face. “What? I can’t have friends outside of work?” He asked clearly agitated with the conversation.

“You don’t have sex with your friends!” Agnes challenged.

“Well maybe I do with this one! I swear to God Aggy, for the last time, this is none of your business!” Brian said.

“What’s none of her business?” Cynthia asked having come in on the tail end of the conversation. Lucas was behind her.

Brian turned to her. “What the fuck are you two doing here so early?” Brian asked.

“Lucas called me last night and asked me to meet him here this morning. He has something he wants to ask you.” Cynthia said.

Brian turned to Agnes and gave her a scalding look. “We’re done with this conversation. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office.” Brian said.

Agnes gave him an odd look. “Whatever you say Boss,” she answered.

Brian nodded his head curtly then turned to Cynthia and Lucas and motioned for them to follow him. Once inside he sat behind his desk and put his probably now cold cup of coffee down on it. He then opened the side draw and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. He popped two in his mouth and took a swig of his coffee.

“Ok now, why don’t you tell me what’s going on.” Brian said.

Both Cynthia and Lucas pulled up chairs to face Brian and sat down.

“Lucas has an unusual request.” Cynthia said.

Brian clasped his hands together on his desk and looked over at them with a raised brow. “Oh?” he said.

Lucas stole a quick look at Cynthia. The hardest part of this was going to be leaving her behind. Whether or not Brian granted his request, he intended to leave town. He couldn’t risk staying around and having Horvath’s dangle his threat over his head every time he wanted something from him. He couldn’t live his life that way. When he called and asked Cynthia to meet him early this morning it was because he wanted to tell her what he was about to do first so she wouldn’t be blindsided by his decision. He respected her too much to make her feel like he did something behind her back. They had something together, something that he already mourned not getting the opportunity to explore further.

“Well Lucas, what is it?” Brian asked growing impatient.

Lucas looked back over at Brian. “I need you to fire me,” he said.

Brian made a face. “Why? You haven’t been here long enough to screw up. And I haven’t fucked you. So why would I fire you?” Brian asked curious as to what was going on.

“Because if you don’t fire me, and I quit, I could go to jail.” Lucas said.

Brian turned his attention to Cynthia. “What the fuck is he talking about?” He asked her.

Cynthia sighed. “Apparently our friend Horvath’s has blackmailed Lucas into spying on you. He thinks you may be connected to the Joe Doe at county that got beat up. Lucas doesn’t want to do Horvath’s dirty work, yet if he refuses, or quits, which Horvath’s will see as a refusal to do his bidding, he will reopen a case he covered up sometime ago and hand it to IA. So his only other option is to have you fire him. Horvath’s can’t blame him if you fire him.” Cynthia explained.

Brian snorted derisively.

“Fucking Horvath. Why am I not surprised?” He said shaking his head. “What the fuck does he have on you?” He asked.

“Before I came here I worked vice. I used some of the department funds to hire some hookers for personal use. I filed a requisition for the funds claiming it was for interrogation purposes. Horvath’s found out and made me pay the money back. He then suggested I resign. Which I did. He never reported it. I thought that was the end of it, but he kept the incident in my file. Now he’s threatening to turn my file over to internal affairs. Even though I paid the money back, and resigned, those guys won’t give a shit. All they would see is that I embezzled department funds and prosecute. They would consider me a ‘dirty’ cop for what I did and you know how they feel about dirty cops.” Lucas explained.

Brian leaned back in his chair and studied the two in front of him. Cynthia, who he believed he knew better than anyone, was silently supporting Lucas whom she barely knew. He could see it in her body language. The way she was sitting, with her body turned towards him and her head tilted slightly in his direction was indication of trust, and intimacy. He had left the two to work together on some cases last Friday and apparently they utilized that time to get to know each other better. Quite a bit better in his estimation.

“Well Lucas, I can’t fire you.” Brian said.

Cynthia’s jaw tightened while Lucas’s face remained impassive.

“I understand,” he said.

“I don’t understand why you can’t do him this one favor Brian.” Cynthia said.

Brian leaned forward again. “Lucas, first let me tell you I appreciate you coming to me with this. You could have just done Horvath’s bidding, but you didn’t. You showed character. And it is because of that character that I don’t think you really want me to fire you.” Brian said.

Lucas looked at him skeptically. “I don’t?” He asked.

Brian shook his head. “No, you don’t. You want to nail that bastard. You fucked up, but you paid your dues. You paid the money back and you resigned. Horvath’s made you believe that was the end of it. He lied to you. Can’t blame him though, it was a smart move on his part. He’s been in the business long enough to know you never give up damaging information on anyone, even a friend. And you too know this. Our line of work is dangerous and traitorous. One never knows who one can trust. So, here is what I propose. Make him think you’re going along with his plan. Feed him bits of information I give you to feed him.” Brian said.

Lucas perked up at Brian’s suggestion. “Ah, like a double agent,” he said.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Someone has been watching too many Bond movies,” he said. “But yeah, like a double agent. Let me ask you something. Did you know you were a plant when I hired you?” Brian asked. It was Carl who recommended Lucas to Brian. He wondered if Lucas was in on it from day one.

Lucas vehemently shook his head. “No. Horvath’s didn’t even know about John Doe when he recommended me for this job. He just got lucky, as he put it. He called me on Saturday to tell me what he wanted me to do.” Lucas said.

Brian nodded satisfied with Lucas’ answer.

“Well then, how do you feel about being a double agent?” He asked.

“Like Bond. James Bond.” Lucas said.

Cynthia laughed, Brian rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s a comedian,” he said.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself. So, what your plan?” Lucas asked.

“For now? Just to fuck with Carl.” Brian said smirking.

Cynthia sighed.

Lucas looked at him oddly. “You’re serious aren’t you?” He asked.

“As serious as a drag queen on hormones.” Brian said.

Lucas laughed. “I’ll have to take your word on that. But Brian, are you sure? Horvath, in his warped way, thinks you two are friends,” he said.

“We are friends.” Brian said. Lucas notice there was no sarcasm or cynicism in his voice. It confused him.

“Well excuse me for saying this, but that’s one fucked up friendship.” Lucas said.

Brian laughed.

“Lucas, Carl and I respect each other. If push came to shove, I believe he would be in my corner. I know how Carl thinks. In his own warped way, he is trying to protect me. From myself. Yeah, I know, fucked up, but that’s Carl. I don’t want you worrying about it.” Brian said.

“If you say so.” Lucas said.

“I say so. Now both of you… get out of here and get to work. In a day or two I’ll have something for you to take to Carl.” Brian said.

Brian picked up his coffee with one hand and waved his other hand at them in dismal. Cynthia and Lucas got up to leave. Brian put his coffee back down once he was alone and leaned back in his chair.

So Carl knew something about Stanford, Brian thought. Well he knew enough to know there was a connection between the comatose man and him. God only knew what the good detective was thinking, but having one of his own employees spy on him was pretty telling. Carl was concerned. Brian told Lucas the truth, he and Carl were friends, and he knew how Carl’s mind worked. Some how, he found a connection between him and Mark, aka ‘John Doe’, and considering someone beat the man into a coma, Carl had every right to suspect, and investigate him. But he wasn’t going through the normal channels. Instead, he was using covert tactics to get information. Though not many would understand this, Carl was showing him great consideration by what he was doing. If he did find out something through his nefarious methods, he could confront Brian with it before the shit hit the fan so Brian could prepare himself. Oh Carl would go after him, he was a cop and took his job very seriously, but he was also his friend, and like Brian told Lucas, in his own warped way, he felt he was doing him a favor by having him spied on.

The intercom buzzer went off interrupting Brian’s thoughts.

“What is it Aggy?” He asked as he pushed the bottom.

“Detective Horvath on line one Boss.” Agnes said.

Brian smiled. ‘Think of the devil…’ He thought as he picked up the phone.

“Carl! To what do I owe this honor?” Brian asked a little too cheerfully.

“Don’t bullshit me Kinney! You know why I’m calling. Did you think your midnight visit with Taylor to the hospital would go unnoticed?” Carl said.

Brian sat up straight in his chair. “Security camera’s Carl? How fucking serious do you think this is that you’re now wasting time going through hours of security tape?” Brian asked, the cheerfulness now gone from his voice.

“You tell me? Listen Brian, I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but too many coincidences are happing. First John Doe, who we’ve confirmed is from out of town, we’re thinking New York, shows up on our doorstep beaten into a coma stripped of everything, except for a little piece of paper we found in his pocket with your name on it. Coincidence huh? Then right on his heels, this Taylor kid shows up from New York and it so happens you know him too. Another coincidence? Not likely. Something’s not right here Kinney, why don’t you tell me what the fuck is going on before you land yourself in a shit load of trouble.” Carl said.

Brian could hear the anxiety in the Chief’s voice.

“There is nothing to tell. I heard through the grapevine that you were hiding a ‘John Doe’ from me at county hospital so I went to check him out. That’s all.” Brian evaded.

Carl snorted on the other end of the phone. “Yeah, right. And you just happen to take this Taylor kid who is also new in town? Have you checked this kid out? What’s his connection to Mr. Doe? The ‘grapevine’ told me that you just hired Taylor last week and you never met him before that.” Carl said.

Brian knew Carl was referring to Lucas, aka, his ‘grapevine’.

“Well your grapevine information is correct. Justin is Agnes’ cousin from New York. You can check him out if you want, I already did.” Brian said.

“Agnes’s cousin?” Carl asked.

Brian smiled on his end of the phone. Seems the good detectives’ detective work had a lot left to be desired if that simple bit of information slipped by him. Sometimes Carl was too obsessed with turning over every stone that he often missed things that were right in front of his face the whole time.

“Tsk, tsk Horvath’s. Getting sloppy in your old age?” Brian teased.

Carl cursed on his end. “That still doesn’t explain….”

Brian heard someone interrupt Carl on his end.

“What the…! Oh for Christ sakes….Kinney!” Carl screeched into the phone.

“Yes dear?” Brian answered mockingly.

“John Doe is awake, and I’ll give you one guess who he’s asking for?” Carl said.

Brian didn’t answer. He had no snappy retort for Carl. He had nothing; so instead, he just let the phone slip from his hand.

And that’s how Justin found him. Sitting at his desk, staring at the phone receiver lying in front of him….


	7. Chapter 7

Justin closed the office door behind him as he took in the situation before him. Brian was sitting at his desk staring at the phone receiver that was lying on top of it with a blank expression on his face. Something about his look was different than the one he donned the other night when he first saw Mark at the hospital. Then he was just hiding his emotions, putting up a mask of indifference to shield his thoughts. This look…well this look was emotionless. As if he was trying to figure out what, if anything, he should be feeling. He wondered what the fuck happened in the short time since Brian left him this morning to put him in such a state.

Justin moved forward slowly. He could hear a faint voice coming from the discarded handset. Brian didn’t seem to notice him approach.

“Brian…” he called out in a soft voice.

Brian blinked a few times and looked up at Justin with vacant eyes.

“Um, the phone? I think you left someone hanging,” Justin said.

Brian’s eyes shifted back to the phone then away again as he pushed himself back from his desk and got up. He walked over to the window and looked out, ignoring Justin, and the phone.

Justin furrowed his brows in concern. He reached over and picked up the handset.

“Kinney! Where the fuck did you go? Are you there? Kinney fucking answer me!” Carl screeched on the other end.

Justin pulled the phone away from his ear and grimaced. ’God the man had an annoyingly loud voice’… he thought. He gingerly brought the phone back to his ear.

“Mr. Kinney had to step out for a moment. Can I take a message?” Justin asked.

“Who’s this!?” Carl demanded.

Justin did not like the man’s tone.

“Not Kinney, that’s who. Now if you would like to leave a mess….”

“You tell Kinney to get the fuck back on the phone now! John Doe say’s he’s not talking to anyone but him, and God damn it, we need that man to talk! He won’t even tell us his name! Tell Kinney if I have to I’ll come down there and haul his ass in on charges of obstruction if he doesn’t get his ass here now!” Carl interrupted Justin with his threat.

Justin’s eyes widened at that bit of information. ‘Shit!’ Mark was awake, and asking to see Brian. No wonder Brian was acting like he was shell-shocked. Brian was the last person he’d think Mark would want to talk to. Though Brian had scornfully asked the comatose man the other night if he came back to cry on his shoulder because Conrad had left him, it was said just out of spite. Brian didn’t believe for one minute that Mark came to town to see him. Both Conrad and Mark were originally from Pittsburgh, they had family here. Brian hadn’t heard from either man in over ten years. The fact that Mark was lying unconscious in a Pittsburgh hospital was not surprising. People got mugged all the time. What was surprising was that Mark was now awake and asking to talk to Brian and not Conrad, or another family member. Why the fuck would Mark be seeking out Brian now after all this time? And what the fuck happened to Conrad? Justin was sure Brian was asking himself these same questions.

“Hey! You still there?” Carl yelled bringing Justin back to the phone conversation at hand.

“Detective Horvath? Is that you?” Justin asked. He recognized the man’s voice from the other night at the Riker bust.

“No, it’s the fucking tooth fairy! Who the fuck are you?” Carl asked. He was getting more and more agitated by the moment. There was a reason Brian didn’t want to talk to John Doe, and why John Doe didn’t want to talk to anyone BUT Brian! And his gut was telling him it wasn’t good. There was a crime committed, a man nearly got killed in an attack and the only two people who had information that could possibly solve this crime weren’t talking.

“Oh Mr. Tooth Fairy! Now I remember…You gypped me on your last visit. You still owe me a buck.” Justin said.

Carl actually growled into the phone. “I’ve no time for games!” he said.

“Then perhaps you should stop playing them. Now I told you, Mr. Kinney isn’t available. I will relay the message that his presence at the hospital is requested. Anything else you want me to tell him? Other than your threat to bring him in on trumped up charges. Obstruction? Really? Surely you can do better than that,” Justin said looking over at Brian who was still standing with his back to him, looking out the window.

“Another smart ass I see. Listen, I know everyone who works at that agency, so who the fuck are….oh wait, you’re that Taylor kid aren’t you? Yeah…I remember you. Nice job on the Riker case. Mind telling me how is it you suddenly show up in town around the same time John Doe turns up beaten nearly to death?” Carl asked.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Yes, I do. Bye bye detective.” He said then hung up.

“What an ass.” Justin muttered to himself. He walked over to Brian and peered out the window.

“Um, granted it’s a great view, but mind telling me exactly what the fuck are you staring at?” Justin asked hoping to evoke an emotion, any emotion from Brian.

Brian made a low rough sound in the back of his throat that Justin couldn’t quite discern. He looked over at Brian and was relieved to see that the ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look he saw earlier was now gone from his features.

“Mark is asking to see me.” He said in a neutral tone that startled Justin. ‘Damn he was good at hiding his emotions…’ Justin mused with more then a little admiration.

“I heard. Carl just told me. So, are you going to talk to him?” Justin asked the million-dollar question.

Brian turned abruptly and walked back over to his desk and sat down again.

“It’s Monday and cases are piling up. Let’s just concentrate on our paying clients, shall we?” Brian said dismissively.

Justin pulled his bottom lip in and bit it pensively as he watched Brian busy himself with pulling out files from his draw and flipping through them. He didn’t like Brian’s blasé attitude. Brian had to talk to Mark but it wasn’t his place to tell him that. Hell he didn’t know what his place was yet. Other then the fact that they had two days of the most fucking amazing sex ever, and agreed to keep fucking each other, their relationship was not stable enough for Justin to be interfering in such a personal area. However, that’s never stopped him before. Actually, his impulsive need to stick his nose in to help when he shouldn’t often landed him in trouble. He sighed knowing that this instant would probably be no different.

“Ok, then. Fine. I’ll go talk to him.” Justin said then turned to leave.

Brian’s head snapped up at his announcement. He was so stunned by his blonde’s words that he almost let him walk out before calling out to stop him.

“The Hell you will!” he shouted.

Justin cringed and turned around to face him.

“Well someone has to talk to him. Aren’t you the least bit curious what he wants to say to you?” Justin asked.

Brian spat out an unrecognizable expletive that Justin made a mental note to ask him about later. It sounded particularly vicious.

“There is NOTHING I want to hear come from his mouth! Anyway, I’m pretty sure I know what he wants to tell me and I’d rather not...” Brian didn’t finish his sentence. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples.

Justin walked over to him.

“What is it Bri?” he asked.

Brian sighed. “There is only one reason why Mark would want to talk to me in person.” Brian said.

Justin waited for him to continue. Whatever was going through Brian’s mind was obviously too painful for him to voice.

“What? Just say it. It will make you feel better if you just spit it out.” Justin said coming around the desk to rub his shoulders. He could feel Brian relax a bit under his ministrations.

“Conrad.” Brian said.

Justin leaned over and kissed the side of Brian’s neck. “What about Conrad?” he whispered in his ear.

Brian laid the side of his head against Justin’s cheek and closed his eyes.

“He must be…dead,” he said.

Justin stilled his hands on Brian’s shoulders. He couldn’t imagine the anguish Brian must be feeling right now. Regardless of what Conrad did, he was still Brian’s first love, and only love to date. Justin’s heart ached for Brian. He wrapped his arms around Brian from behind and just held him. He let a few minutes pass before he spoke again.

“You don’t know that. You won’t know unless you talk to Mark. If it’s true, you need to hear it. Else you’ll go the rest of your life wondering if you were wrong.” Justin said.

Brian brought his hand up and grabbed Justin’s wrist, he then brought it to his lips and kissed it gently before pulling away from him.

“You know Sunshine, being smart and blonde is too confusing. Choose one, will you?” Brian jested lightly.

Justin smiled at him. “Yeah, well you wouldn’t like me stupid, or as a brunette.” he said.

Brian grabbed his arm and dragged him from behind his chair and pulled him down onto his lap.

“Oh I don’t know, I’ve always favored brunettes.” Brian said nipping at Justin’s neck.

Justin laughed. “Before you met me you mean,” he said.

“Mmm….” Was Brian’s only answer as his kisses became more intense.

Justin stiffened in his arms. He knew what Brian was doing. Losing himself in sex. And as much as Justin wanted to oblige him, he didn’t want him putting this off. He knew Brian would see the merits in talking to Mark, if for nothing else than to confirm his suspicions; however he wasn’t ready to make that decision. He was using sex to stall for time...Then again, if he needed a reason to stall, Justin couldn’t think of a better one. Actually, he couldn’t think of much past Brian’s hot lips trailing kisses down his neck. He moaned and tilted his head, exposing more of his pale skin for his new lovers’ hot mouth.

“Oops! Bad time?” Emmett’s voice washed over them like a bucket of cold water.

Brian reluctantly pulled his lips away from the sweet warm flesh of Justin’s neck, but not before giving it a little nip, and patted Justin’s ass to get up from his lap. Justin sighed and got up.

“What the fuck happened to knocking?” Brian asked.

“Agnes told us you wanted to see us as soon as we got in!” Emmett protested. Shane poked her head around from behind Emmett.

“Oh, hey Justin. Boss.” Shane mumbled through a mouth full of croissant.

“Morning Shane. Em.” Justin greeted them as he propped his hip up against Brian’s desk, and folded his arms across his chest.

“Justin! I hear congratulations are in order! Shane told me what happened. How are you feeling baby?” Emmett asked walking over to Justin and pulling him in for a quick hug.

Justin hugged him back. He liked Emmett. The man was comfortable in his skin. His flame burned bright and he wasn’t afraid to show it. “I’m fine, thanks. Just a little bump on the head. How goes it with you? I heard you had a hard time with Boyd the other night.” Justin said.

Emmett released Justin and walked over to one of the chairs in the office and plopped down into it letting out an exaggerated sigh in the process.

“Drew was just being over dramatic. He tends to get that way sometimes,” he said.

Shane snorted and pulled up a chair next to him. “He was getting down right dangerous,” she said.

Emmett glared at her. “You didn’t need to call Brian. I could have handled the situation,” he said.

“Actually, she did Em. Not that I don’t think you could have handled it were it purely business, but that fight I walked in on was personal. It was a lovers spat and someone had to bring some professionalism to the table.” Brian said.

Emmett sighed dramatically. “Whatever, fine. We’re lovers. I crossed the line and fucked a client. Let’s not act like I’m the only one who crosses lines around here.” He said looking pointedly back and forth between Brian and Justin.

Justin laughed. “You caught that huh? What was your first clue?” he said.

Emmett smiled in appreciation at the saucy blonde’s retort. “Oh honey you’re sizzling hot. Don’t need no clues past that,” he said as he ogled Justin from head to toe.

“Down boy.” Brian warned.

“Spoil sport.” Emmett returned then emphasized it by sticking his tongue out at him.

Shane laughed.

“Can we get serious for just a moment here?! We need to decide what we’re going to do about this situation before Mr. Boyd gets here.” Brian said.

“I’m not going to stop seeing him Brian. If I get fired for that, then fine.” Emmett said.

Brian believed him. He wasn’t just being affective. “You’d risk your job over a piece of ass?” Brian asked.

“No. But I’ll risk it over Drew. I really think he may be it.” Emmett said.

Brian snorted in disgust. “I expected better of you Em.” He said.

“Be that as it may, I meant what I said.” Emmett said.

Brian sighed. “Fine. So what do you propose then? Because I’m not going to fire you.” Brian said thinking how odd it was that that was the second time today he had to tell someone he wasn’t going to fire them.

“I talked to Drew last night. He wants to ask his wife for a divorce.” Emmett said.

Brian rolled his eyes. “And you believe him? Jesus Honeycutt, have you learned nothing working here? Do you honestly think he’s going to leave his wife for another man? It will destroy his career, and I can guarantee you that he won’t do that. Not for you, not for anyone.” Brian said.

“Jesus Brian you’re such a fucking cynic. Do you have to totally rain on Em’s parade? I believe Drew really loves him.” Shane said.

“I’m sure he believes it too, but he’s still not going to give up his career, which is his life by the way, for a fling with Em. Be it the ‘real’ thing or not. Nor should he. He has no other skills beyond playing football.” Brian said then turned to Emmett.

“But let’s say I’m wrong and Mr. Boyd decides to throw it all away to be with you. How are you going to feel when he’s working as a salesman at some used car lot or some other menial job and not doing what he loves? And how long do you think it will take before he starts resenting his decision, and you?” Brian asked.

Justin mentally cringed at Brian’s callousness, yet at the same time respected his astute honesty. It was a hard truth to face but it was a truth Emmett needed to hear. No one would want to touch Mr. Boyd if he came out at this point in his career. There were still big stigmas attached to gay football players. Football was considered a ‘mans man’ sport. It wasn’t like other sports where being gay wasn’t so much of an issue. Boyd would be ostracized for his sexuality and Emmett would forever feel the guilt of being responsible for his coming out and ruining his career.

Shane was about to once again defend Emmett when Emmett interrupted. “I’m not stupid Brian. I know the stakes here. That’s why I told Drew I didn’t want him to leave his wife. I told him I couldn’t handle the fall out from that…that I didn’t want to be part of the media spectacle that would follow.” Emmett said.

Brian raised his eyebrow at Emmett impressed with his selfless attitude. Apparently he had true affection for the football player. Of course this only complicated things further; there was no way around Emmett not getting hurt in this fiasco. ‘Fuck!’ Just another reason why ‘love’ should be avoided at all costs, Brian thought.

“So you are willing to give him up?” Justin asked, jumping into the conversation.

Emmett’s face fell. “I don’t want to, but if that’s what it takes, I will. I won’t be the one to ruin his career.” he said.

“And what did Boyd say?” Brian asked.

“He said he would do what I wanted, but he didn’t want to stop seeing me.” Emmett said.

“We still have the problem of Mrs. Boyd. Remember her? Our client? What do we tell her? She’s paid us a lot of money so far to come up with the goods on her husband.” Brian said.

“So I’m assuming that Mrs. Boyd is looking for evidence for a big divorce settlement.” Justin said.

“That cunt wants to strip him of everything he’s got.” Emmett sneered.

“So let her. There’s your answer.” Justin said.

All eyes turned to him.

“What are you suggesting Sunshine?” Brian asked.

“A little deception…well a little more deception. Boyd is already being deceptive with his wife. I’m sure he knew he was gay when he married her, and I’m sure though she may not know the reason, she feels the disconnect and is hurt by it. A woman scorned and all. It’s no surprise she wants to take him for all he’s got. What I’m suggesting is we give her what she wants. Providing Mr. Boyd agrees, we set it up so we get photos of him and some blonde bimbo and present them to Mrs. Boyd. She’ll be outraged, take him to court, and pretty much clean him out financially. The press will take pity on him, since, well its football, and quarterbacks tend to get a free pass for fucking around, but being left penniless for it? Well that is just unconscionable in their books! He’ll be more popular then ever. The media will eat his story up, and they’ll be very sympathetic to him, which will mean new sponsors will want to pick him up and he’ll be bringing in more money, money she can’t touch after the divorce by the way, than he’s ever had. And as a bonus, he gets to live his life as he pleases. Of course he’ll be very discreet, to which again the press will give him a free pass because the last time he wasn’t discreet, pictures of him and a blonde left him bankrupt. Everyone wins in this scenario. Mrs. Boyd gets her divorce, and her money. Drew gets to keep playing ball and new opportunities to make even more money than he had before AND he gets to fuck Emmett on the side. He’s got what? 5 more years, if he’s lucky, playing professional ball before he retires? He can come out then, write a book, like that basketball player, what’s his name…”

 

“John Amaechi.” Shane filled in.

“Right, him and make another shit load of money and be on every TV show telling his story, with Em here by his side. That’s if you two are still together by then.” Justin said.

Brian leaned over and pushed the intercom button.

“Yeah Boss?” Agnes answered the call.

“You’re getting a bonus this week.” he said.

“Wow Boss thanks! But why?” she asked.

“Because your cousin is brilliant.” Brian said then released the button and turned to Justin.

“Hey, why does she get a bonus and not me!?” Justin asked laughing.

“Your bonus is coming later.” Brian said suggestively.

Justin turned away from the others in the room so that only Brian could see his expression and squished one side of his face up mimicking a ‘half wince’. “Let’s make that much later, ok?” He said in a low voice. He could still feel Brian inside of him and he fucking loved it, but his ass did need a break.

A tiny frown marred Brian’s forehead indicating his concern. Justin leaned over and whispered in his ear. “I’m fine, I took a Vicodin before I came in. Stop worrying, I’ll be ready for another marathon by tonight.” He said, then straightened up again.

Brian looked up into his eyes. “You just happen to have Vicodin readily available?” he asked.

Justin gnawed his bottom lip nervously. He didn’t want to lie to Brian, but he didn’t want him to worry needlessly either. He leaned over again so that his lips were pressed to Brian’s ear and said in a very, very low voice… “The doctor prescribed them to me because I occasionally still get migraines from the bashing.” He explained.

Brian closed his eyes briefly, internalizing Justin’s continued anguish over an unspeakable act committed against him, before opening them again.

“You ok?” He asked, turning his head to face Justin.

“I’m fine. I promise.” Justin said pulling back from him. There was a look in Brian’s eyes that tore at his heart…Yeah, Brian Kinney did give a shit about him…

Shane and Emmett witnessed the intimate exchange, though they only heard bits and pieces of the conversation shared. They swapped incredulous looks at the way their Boss was acting with the blonde. There was a tenderness in his eyes that neither had ever seen Brian display to another man, other than family or friends, before.

Justin smiled down at Brian. “I’ll be even better after I get my bonus tonight.” He said winking at him.

Brian cleared his throat. “Brat,” he said before turning his attention back to the other two occupants in the room.

 

“So, are we all in agreement?” Brian asked.

Shane and Emmett blinked a few times trying to remember what they were talking about before the tender scene between their boss and the blonde took place.

“Oh, yes! It’s fucking pure genius!” Emmett said being the first to recover.

“Do you think Boyd will agree to our plan?” Brian asked.

“I think he’d be hard pressed not to.” Emmett said.

“Then it’s settled. But this stays between us. No one else in the agency is to know about what we’ve discussed in this room. The less people who know about this the better just incase this backfires in our face.” Brian said.

Everyone shook their head in agreement.

“Good. When Boyd gets here, you and Shane make the presentation to him.” Brian said.

“Don’t you think you should outline our plan?” Shane said.

“I’ve got to step out for awhile. You two can handle it.” Brian said then reached over and pressed the intercom button again.

“Agnes, tell Ted, Cynthia and Lucas to come in for the morning meeting.” Brian said.

Justin pushed away from Brian’s desk and dragged a chair over to sit next to Shane and Emmett. Several minutes later Cynthia, Ted and Lucas came in and pulled up chairs to form a semi circle around Brian’s desk.

Once everyone was settled, Brian started the meeting.

“First, for those of you who aren’t aware, thanks to Justin, Riker, aka, Dumpster boy’s killer, has been apprehended,” he said.

Ted, Cynthia and Lucas took turns congratulating Justin.

“It was a team effort. Brian was the one who actually took him down; I just lured him in.” Justin said.

“Popped him twice. One in each leg.” Shane said with a hint of pride in her voice.

“Clean?” Cynthia asked.

“It was a clean shoot Cyn, don’t worry. Horvath was called right in. He’s writing up the report. Justin and I still need to give a statement, but it’s just a formality.” Brian said.

Cynthia nodded her head satisfied there wouldn’t be any legal issues.

“Now, moving on…What have you got Cyn?” he asked.

“I already briefed Lucas on the cases he’ll be taking over. Two missing persons, both husbands who went out for the proverbial ‘pack of cigarettes’ and never came back, and one surveillance job. Ackerman Metals. Mr. Ackerman believes one of his employees’ is stealing precious metals from him and selling them on the black Market. The plan is to set Lucas up as a part time fabricator in the plant so he can monitor the staff’s activities.” Cynthia said.

Brian turned his attention to Lucas. “You gonna to be able to pull that off? Do you have any experience working with metal?” he asked.

Lucas nodded his head. “Worked construction during my college days. I did my share of welding and laser cutting. I know enough to be convincing.” he said.

“Let’s hope so. But it sounds involved. I’m concerned you won’t be able to handle the two missing person’s cases and the Ackerman job.” Brian said.

“I can handle it. Most of the work at Ackerman’s will be video and audio surveillance. Cynthia is helping me set that up. As for the two MIA’s, that will require more leg work, but I think I can wrap them up pretty quickly. There doesn’t appear to be any foul play. Circumstances in both cases suggest that the spouses took off for greener pastures.” Lucas said.

Brian shook his head and sighed. “Too bad there’s no such thing. You’ve seen one pasture, you’ve seen them all,” he mused out loud.

“Humph…This coming from the man who grazes in every pasture he comes across. Especially the greener ones.” Cynthia commented under her breath.

Brian made a face at her. “Are you seriously going to go down that road Mrs. Robinson?” he asked.

Cynthia’s face flamed red. She should have known Brian wouldn’t let her forget her little indiscretion from two years ago when she had an affair with her nephew’s college roommate.

She cleared her throat and continued on with the business at hand, and away from her personal business.

“I’m giving Emmett the Parker case. Mr. Parker hired us to investigate his 16 year old son who he believes is dealing in drugs. Mr. Parker is a Christian music producer who wants to avoid what could become an embarrassing situation for him. Em will have to be on this kid 24/7. Mr. Parker made it clear that expedience is required in this case, and he’s willing to pay extra for it. He doesn’t want the police involved, he just needs to know if is son is dealing so he can plan his next move to avoid a scandal.” Cynthia said.

Shane snorted in disgust. “Don’t think daddy dearest will be winning any parent of the year awards anytime soon. Geesh, what a fucking douche bag. Sounds like he’s more worried about protecting his image than he is about helping his son,” she said.

“Unfortunately, some people were never meant to have children.” Brian said in a tight voice.

Everyone in the room suddenly grew eerily quiet. Justin looked around and saw several very uncomfortable faces. Obviously, Brian’s statement had some deeper meaning that they were aware of, but no one wanted to acknowledge.

“What else.” Brian said breaking the silence.

“I’m handling several cyber surveillance cases. One identity fraud, one credit card company who thinks someone in processing is stealing account numbers and three domestic Internet tracking cases.” Cynthia said.

Emmett laughed. “Don’t tell me, internet affairs?” he asked.

Cynthia grimaced. “Yes. God I hate those cases. But they pay well. Cyber investigations are costly. It amazes me how much people are willing to shill out to see if their partners are ‘cyber’ fucking on line. Like really, who gives a shit? Better on line than in real life,” she said.

“No, not better. Trust me. Real life is much more satisfying.” Brian said with a smirk.

Everyone laughed and agreed.

“Which brings me to the last of our cases, courtesy of Valentines Day…‘Cheating spouses’. I’m splitting them up between Justin and Shane. You guys know the routine. Phone records, photos…the usual stuff. Catch them in the act, present the evidence, and get paid. Drive through cases.” Cynthia said.

Both Shane and Justin looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

“Ok, then, let’s get cracking. Everyone check in with Cynthia to get briefed and pick up your case files. If there are any questions, take them to Cynthia…problems, come to me. If that’s all then….”

“Actually Brian there is one other case I wanted to talk about. I haven’t decided who to hand it off to.” Cynthia said.

Brian raised a brow at her.

“Captain Reiss from the Beaver Butler county police contacted us. They have a situation there they’d like our help with. There’s been a rash of hate crimes at the local high school. Three students, two boys and one girl, all gay, were attacked and seriously injured. None of the kids or teachers are talking. Apparently, according to Captain Reiss, there is this gang of kids that rule the school. Everyone, including the teachers, are afraid of them. They tried stationing police at the school but they haven’t been able catch the perpetrators in the act. One attack occurred while a police officer was there. Reiss contacted us because we’re a gay agency…”

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean? A gay agency? Tell him to go fuck himself.” Brian said angrily.

“Calm down Brian. It’s no secret that Private Dicks employs gay investigators, and it’s located in a gay community, not to mention the owner is gay himself.” Justin said.

“Oh you noticed?” Brian quipped.

Justin gave him sexy smile. “Yes I noticed. But that’s not all Private Dicks is known for. Hell, why do you think I’m here? Cops at my old precinct knew about your agency, and your rep. And not just for being gay, but for operating one of the best agencies in all of Pennsylvania.” Justin said.

“One of the best?” Brian challenged.

Justin laughed. “Point is, I don’t find it unreasonable for Captain Reiss to be asking for our help in solving a hate crime where gay kids are getting attacked. He might think that in addition to your outstanding reputation, you might have more experience in this area.” Justin said.

Brian made a rude sound. “Sounds more like he’s a homophobic moron who thinks all gays are alike,” he said.

“Actually that’s not the case Brian. If you had let me finish, I was going to say that he thought we might have someone on staff that could go in undercover as a gay teacher. He felt it would be more believable if the undercover agent were actually gay. They tried planting a straight cop in as a gay substitute teacher with no luck. He was marked as a cop on day one.” Cynthia explained.

“What? They don’t have any gay cops?” Brian asked.

“Not any trained in undercover work.” Cynthia said.

“I’ll do it!” Emmett perked up.

“You’ve enough on your plate Emmett. If we do take this case on, I’ll handle it myself.” Brian said.

“I was thinking we could send Shane in.” Cynthia said.

“Shane? Shane looks too young to be a teacher.” Brian said.

“Exactly. She looks more like a student. She’d be perfect bait. I didn’t mention my idea to Reiss yet. I wanted to talk to you and Shane about it first. Of course she’ll be under constant watch, and wired to limit the risk of her getting hurt. But I think she’s our best shot at catching these kids. I really don’t think sending in an undercover gay teacher will get the job done I checked around. Both the gym and music teachers are rumored to be gay yet neither has been attacked. I’m thinking these kids are targeting other kids. Shane would definitely attract their attention.” Cynthia said.

Brian shook his head. “No. It’s too dangerous. I’ll go in undercover. Those gay teachers probably keep a very low profile that’s why they haven’t been assaulted. I’ll go in openly gay and shove it in their faces. That should provoke a response from them.” Brian said.

“Um, don’t I get a say in this? I think Cyn is right. You can be as provoking as you want Boss, but the truth is it’s much easier to attack another kid than it is to attack an adult. One teacher gets attacked and others may start talking. To kids, teachers are like cops, they protect their own. No one protects the kids. It’s more logical sending me in as a student. I’m an easy target for them.” Shane said.

“Yes, you are, and that’s precisely why I’m not sending you in. I don’t know the Butler police. I don’t trust them to protect you. They’ve already proven to be incompetent if they had a cop at the school and an attack took place under his watch. What if you get cornered and they can’t get to you in time to help you? I won’t let you take that risk.” Brian said.

“But…”

“He’s right Shane. You don’t have any experience dealing with juvies. These kids have their own code that you couldn’t possibly understand. I do. I’ve worked this kind of case before. Cyn call Reiss, tell him I’ll be going in undercover as a gay student and that I’ll need at least two detectives from his precinct as backup.” Justin said.

Again the room grew eerily quiet, but for very different reasons.

“Excuse me, but in case you’ve forgotten already, I sign the checks around here.” Brian’s biting voice chilled the room.

Justin smiled at him. “Do you? I wouldn’t know. I haven’t gotten a check from you yet.” he said.

“This is not a joking matter! I won’t send you into a situation like that again.” Brian gritted out between clenched teeth. His voice was filled with anger that was fueled by fear. The last time Justin went undercover as a high school student, it ended up with him taking a bat to the head.

Justin’s features softened having recognized the fear in Brian’s rage filled voice.

“Brian. This is a totally different situation, and I’m a totally different person. Trust me; I would never put myself in that position again.” he said.

“Boss, I’ll go in with Justin. We’ll cover each other’s backs. Plus, if you want you can also come in as a gay teacher. Between the three of us, we won’t need the Butler police.” Shane said.

Brian leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. His head was starting to pound and the bulk of his troubles hadn’t even begun yet. He still had Mark to deal with.

“Brian, we have to do this. We can’t let any more kids get hurt if we can stop it. We’ll all go in undercover together like Shane suggested, we’ll be safer that way. But however you decide we do it, we have to do it. Those kids need us.” Justin said.

Brian knew Justin was right; he just didn’t want Justin in harms way again. It wasn’t just the physical danger he was worried about, he was concerned how Justin was going to handle it emotionally. Being back in high school, playing the part again that almost got him killed the first time he played it...well it was just too much to ask of him, but then again, he wasn’t asking, Justin was insisting. He had a gut feeling if Justin had to go it alone, he would. He knew how his blonde felt about kids being in trouble. If he could help, he was going to. With or without Brian.

“What about all the cheating spouses’ cases? We can’t just dump them.” Brian said though he knew the excuse was feeble.

“The school is closed for winter recess so that gives us ten days to clear our calendar.” Cynthia said.

“You won’t be able to close all of them out within ten days, and besides, what about the new cases that will be coming in? We can’t operate on a skeleton crew and this case may take a while.” Brian said.

“Emmett, Lucas and I can handle it. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in the field. It’s time I flexed my muscles in that area. And if we have to, we’ll recruit Agnes. She can handle simple domestic surveillances, which is the bulk of our caseloads. All she needs to do is tail the suspect, take notes and be ready with her camera. You know she’d love a chance to take on a case or two. As for my Cyber cases, they can be done any time day or night, so I’m very flexible there. I’m positive between the four of us, we can handle it.” Cynthia said.

“It’s totally doable Brian. The Parker case has to be wrapped up quickly, per the clients’ request, so I’ll be available to take on a full case load freeing up Cynthia.” Emmett chimed in.

“Hey, what about me? I think I’d make a good sleuth!” Ted spoke for the first time.

“Teddy dear, you’re much better with numbers. But it’s not a bad idea for you to team up with Agnes. Two heads are better than one.” Cynthia said.

“Unless you only have one mouth.” Emmett jested.

Brian groaned. He felt outnumbered and outsmarted. Neither of which he appreciated.

“Ok, here’s MY decision.” Brian said leaning forward in his chair.

“Cynthia, call Captain Reiss and tell him we’ll have an answer for him before the week is out. I need to think this over.” He said. All it did really was buy him time, but it was time he needed. He was on overload right now as it was.

“But Bri...”

“That’s my last word on this Cyn! Now go make the call. Meeting’s over.” Brian snapped, his voice brooking no argument.

Everyone scrambled to exit the office. Justin remained behind. He was more surprised at Brian’s outburst than he thought he would be. When pushed, Brian pushed back, and hard. He left no doubt in anyone’s mind that he meant business and that his decision was not to be challenged. His authoritarian nature had emerged in full force. It was a layer of his personality that Justin hadn’t experienced yet…Justin wondered how many layers there were to Brian. He was an enigma that was both fascinating and intimidating and Justin found himself marveling at his ability to keep him continually off balance.

“I don’t know if I should be frightened or aroused by that little display.” Justin said honestly.

Brian looked up at him. “Aroused. Always choose aroused,” he said with a smirk as he rose from behind his desk.

“But save that thought. I need to go to the hospital.” Brian said bending over to give Justin a quick kiss before releasing him and heading towards the door.

Justin followed him. “Can I catch a ride with you?” he asked.

Brian looked back at him. He briefly thought of refusing him but decided against it. If he knew his blonde, and he was starting to know him very well, he’d just find another way to get there.

“Fine. But no talking in the car. I need to think.” Brian said.

Justin smiled at him. “You got it Boss. No talking,” he said in a patronizing voice.

Brian huffed. “So glad you’re starting to realize who the boss around here is,” he said opening the office door for Justin.

“Oh don’t worry, I always know who’s in charge.” Justin said as he passed Brian on his way out of the office.

Brian watched Justin’s hot ass sashay away from him and groaned inwardly. The blonde was going to be the death of him. He was quite sure Justin did indeed know who was in charge…and it was becoming painfully obvious that it wasn’t him.

 

****************************************************

 

“Hey Brian. You just missed the Chief. He got called in on a 10-13. He didn’t think you would show up.” Mason the guard on duty greeted Brian.

“Guess he was wrong. Again.” Brian said smiling.

Mason laughed. He liked Brian. The owner of Private Dicks always treated him with deference where as his Chief and others in the department gave him little respect. Mason knew his shortcomings. He’d been at his precinct for nearly twenty years yet he’d never been promoted. He took the detective exam several times without success so he’d finally given up. He was overweight and out of shape but still he was a good cop. He never missed a day of work. That should have counted for something. But the guys back at the station took pleasure in poking fun at him and the Chief turned a deaf ear to it. Brian never treated him with anything less than respect.

“He’s gonna be pissed.” Mason said with an impish grin.

“Not if he doesn’t know I showed up.” Brian said leaving the suggestion out there.

Mason looked over to the young man standing next to Brian.

“Who’s this?” he asked.

“I’m sorry Mason, this is Justin. He’s one of our new detectives. Justin, Mason.” Brian made the introductions.

“Nice to meet you. Chief’s going to be mad he missed you too.” Mason said.

Brian sighed sadly. “You know Carl’s blood pressure’s been a bit high lately. And Deb tells me his cholesterol’s up too. I’m worried about his health. It would be a shame if he were to get all flustered over something so trivial. Justin and I have to go down to the station later anyway to give a statement on Friday nights’ bust. We’ll talk to him then. He doesn’t need to know we were ever here.” Brian said. Though it was true Deb was dating Carl, (he had introduced them about a month ago), he doubted she’d gotten to know him well enough yet to know what his blood pressure or cholesterol levels were. The small lie however served his purpose.

Mason frowned. He didn’t like the idea of holding information from the Chief. It didn’t sit well with him. He rubbed his stubbly fat chin thoughtfully.

“You going in to see John Doe?” He asked.

“Yes, I am. But alone. I won’t go in if you insist on being in the room with us.” Brian said.

“You know him?” Mason asked.

“Yes, I do.” Brian said.

Mason’s eyes widened at that bit of information. If he could get the man’s identity from Brian it would earn him big points with the Chief.

“Tell you what, I’ll let you go in alone, if you tell me his name. And I won’t tell the Chief you were here. But you have to convince your friend in there to tell Carl I was the one who got him talking.” Mason said.

“Deal. But I tell you his name on my way out.” Brian said.

Mason nodded his head in agreement and opened the door for Brian. “Your friend going in to?” He asked as Justin started to follow Brian in the room.

Brian looked back at Justin and was about to tell him to wait outside but Justin saw it coming and deflected his objection.

“Hell yes I’m going in,” he said and pushed his way past Brian.

Brian sighed, exasperated, and looked over at Mason. “Don’t you just fucking hate pushy blondes?” he asked rhetorically.

Mason laughed. “Can’t afford to hate blondes, brunets, or redheads. Man like me can’t be too choosy. I may not be gay, but nothin wrong with my eyesight. I got a feeling you don’t mind his ‘pushing’ too much.” he said.

Brian rolled his eyes. ‘Was he that obvious? Or was his blonde that hot?’ He liked to think it was the latter.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Mark Stanford sat straight up in bed when he heard the door to his room open. God he hoped it wasn’t that annoying detective again. He couldn’t have made it clearer that he wasn’t going to talk to anyone but Brian Kinney. He was hoping this new visitor would be Brian but was disappointed when a young blonde man walked into the room…well not that disappointed. The guy was hot as fuck. Mark was shocked at his own thoughts. Here he was, lying in a hospital bed, broken and beaten, and four days behind on his search for his soul mate because he was in a coma all that time, yet that didn’t stop him from reacting to the blonde’s beauty. Mark noticed that not only was this new visitor good-looking, he was also gay. Mark’s gaydar went off the charts as soon as the handsome young man entered, which was reassuring. Since he woke, he’d been surrounded by straight cops who were barbaric in their manner and approach. Though he appreciated their efforts, and respected their position, he just wasn’t comfortable with the ‘knuckle dragging’ he-man types that all too often dominated the law enforcement field. This blonde however, if a cop, was someone he felt he could talk to. He wasn’t wearing a hospital uniform, so he doubted he was part of the hospital staff.

“Hello. Can I help you?” Mark asked.

Justin, probably for the first time in his life, was at a lost for words. He stood there, looking like an idiot he assumed, just staring at Mark. So this was the man who stole Brian’s first love from him… Justin wanted to thank him and punch him out at the same time. Fortunately, Brian saved him from doing either.

Brian walked into the room and shut the door behind him. He placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders in a calming manner and gently pushed him to the side so he could approach Mark. He got a glimpse of Mark’s reaction to Justin and didn’t like it one bit.

“Reminiscing about old times Mark? Trust me; he’s out of your league. Perhaps at one time you may have had a chance, but those days are long gone. Age is a motherfucker, isn’t it Mark? And from the looks of you, you’ve been the mother for some time,” he said in a voice filled with steel as he walked up to the bed.

Mark turned his attention to the man he’d traveled all this way to see. His words stung, but were warranted. Apparently the blonde was of interest to Brian and Mark had a track record of taking from him that which interested him.

He leaned back in his bed and studied his nemesis with discerning eyes. The last time he’d seen Brian he was just 18 years old and the most beautiful boy he’d ever laid eyes on. But now, some ten years later, the boy had grown into a man. A man whose beauty had surpassed the boy’s. Brian was stunning beyond description. His body was firmer, the lean muscles more defined. His features strong and classical, a perfect blend of beauty and masculinity. His eyes, more vibrant and piercing as if they held the power to bend men to his will, and Mark had no doubt they did. Yes, the boy had changed, yet much had remained the same. And that truth laid in is piercing hazel eyes.

An old proverb popped into Mark’s head. ‘The eyes are the windows to the soul.’ Brian’s eyes reflected a harden soul. One void of compassion, at least where Mark was concerned. All the bitterness and hurt was still there and the knowledge devastated Mark. He had hoped time would have mellowed Brian, but he was wrong. Time, if anything, only solidified his animosity towards him. Mark couldn’t stand to look at him any more. He turned his head away disheartened. Yes, the boy was now a man, with a man’s hatred. He’d find perverse joy in Mark’s dilemma. If he had thought to find aid in Conrad’s ex lover, one look into those hazel eyes told him how wrong he’d been. All hope now of finding his beloved was lost to him. The weight of the anguish that came with that realization crushed his very soul.

“Get out,” he said.

Brian watched the myriad of emotions cross Marks face before he turned away from him. Mark looked disappointed, more than disappointed, he looked…despondent. Brian couldn’t find one reason not to enjoy Mark’s discontentment. He pulled up a chair and crossed his legs at the ankles as he lounged back in it, a smile flirting across his handsome features.

“Ah, now is that a way to greet an old friend?” Brian drawled sardonically.

Justin stood by the door cringing at Brian’s words. This was going to be a bloodbath of wills he realized and all he could do was wait until it was over and mop up the mess.

Mark snapped his head around and glared at Brian with what only could be described as disgust.

“Be at it then. Get it over with, and then get… the… fuck…out.” Mark sneered.

Brian tilted his head and gave Mark a quizzical look.

“At it? Exactly what were you expecting of me Mark?” Brian asked amused at the man’s ire.

Mark snorted derisively. “Obviously more than you’re capable of. But then again, that was always your problem wasn’t it? Not being able to live up to anyone’s expectations,” he spat out viciously aiming to hurt. He had no doubt Brian would catch the double meaning in his words. Conrad had told Mark in confidence some of Brian’s troubled childhood and though he hated himself for betraying that confidence now, he also found some satisfaction in knowing he could hurt Brian. The man had stolen all hope from him and Mark wanted him to feel some of the pain he was feeling.

‘Oh ouch!’ Justin thought. He had a feeling that little remark held more meaning behind it that only the two men shared and it was meant to hurt Brian. It took all his will power not to run over to the bed and smack the shit out of Mark.

But Brian gave no indication that Mark had hurt him. Instead, he laughed a harsh, cruel laugh.

“Very good Mark. I’m impressed. And here I thought ‘true love’ would have mellowed you. Nice to see you’re just as much of a bastard today as you ever were. Tell me, did you travel all this way to tell me that? It’s not really news you know. When Connie walked out the door I pretty much figured I didn’t ‘meet his expectations’, as you so eloquently put it. But it didn’t take me long to figure out that I was foolish for even trying. I learned fairly quickly that the only person whose expectations I could meet, were my own, and I’ve spent the last ten years doing exactly that. Meeting and satisfying my own needs.” Brian said.

“And how’s that working for you?” Mark asked.

Brian made a point to slowly move his gaze up and down Mark’s body. “Well I’d say pretty good since I’m not the one lying in a hospital bed looking like shit,” he said.

Mark looked away again. “Go away Brian. You can’t help me,” he said weary of this sport.

“Help you?” Brian said then laughed a little too loudly.

“You came for my help? What in God’s name would make you think I would help you?” Brian asked.

 

“Conrad. I thought that you’d do it for him…I was wrong. You’d no sooner help him, than you would me.” Mark said.

Brian narrowed his eyes. Something was not right here. He was preparing himself to hear that Conrad was dead but by the way Mark was talking, he wasn’t, but he did need Brian’s help. Not that he would give it, but he was interested to know what kind of trouble his ex lover was in.

“Ah Connie. Tell me, how is he doing these days? Does he still make that gurgling noise in the back of his throat when you eat his ass? Fuck that was hot.” Brian said trying to provoke a reaction out of Mark. But Mark wasn’t taking the bait.

“It was never about the sex. You know that. If it were, he’d still be with you.” Mark said turning once again to look at him.

Brian felt like Mark had slapped him.

“Right. It was about your love for each other. How rude of me to forget.” Brian said with such scorn Mark physically recoiled from it.

“You sound like you don’t believe in love when I know for a fact you loved Conrad.” Mark said.

“Whatever love I had for Connie, you killed.” Brian said. It was the first sincere thing he said since walking into the room and Mark responded to it.

“I know. And though it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry you were hurt. I thought you would have realized by now it was for the best.” Mark said.

Brian huffed in disbelief. “Whose best?” he asked.

“Yours. It was always about YOU Brian. Don’t you see that? Conrad was willing to stay with you but I talked him out of it. He was willing to sacrifice us out of loyalty to you. And he would have if I hadn’t pointed out that in the long run, you would have resented him for stealing your youth.” Mark said.

Brian sat up straight in his chair and leaned towards Mark. “That’s a lie!” he said angrily.

Mark shook his head. “No, it’s not. Brian, Conrad wasn’t in love with you. He loved you, deeply, like a mentor, but he was never in love with you. And I know how good the sex was with you, he told me. But like I said, it wasn’t about the sex. You were the one to instigate that and Conrad was too weak to resist you. That was his only fault. But can you blame him? You were pretty irresistible, even as a boy. It’s no excuse, it’s just the truth. You and Conrad shared something very special and unique and no one could ever take that away from either of you, not then…and not now. But he wasn’t meant for you Brian, he was meant for me. When we met, it was like two pieces of a puzzle coming together. We completed each other. I know you don’t believe in a once in a lifetime love, in finding your ‘soul mate’, but that’s exactly what happened with Conrad and me. We’re soul mates, and I’m sorry if that hurts you, but it would have hurt you more if you were to find out years later that the man you loved, was in love with someone else. At first Conrad rejected our love, he never wanted to hurt you but I made him see that leaving you was the kindest thing he could do. I don’t think you’re the type of man who would have appreciated someone staying with you out of a sense of loyalty, and not love.” Mark said.

Brian suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat a bit before settling back into his lounging position. There was merit to what Mark was saying, and on some level he’d always known it. But it still didn’t take away the pain of the betrayal. Conrad never gave Brian the respect of sitting him down and talking to him. Of telling him he was leaving. Instead, he had Mark do his dirty work.

“Well if this ‘once in a lifetime love’ makes cowards out of men, then I pity you. Connie should have manned up and told me the truth instead of running off in the middle of the night like some thief.” Brian said.

Mark sighed. “Would it have made any difference? Sometimes is easier to just rip the band aid off than to peel it away slowly, prolonging the agony. Can you sit there and seriously tell me that the ‘I’m leaving you’ conversation would have made it easier?” Mark said.

“Well I guess we’ll never know now, will we?” Brian replied caustically.

“Brian, don’t hate Conrad. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to, but it was causing him so much pain that I stepped in and did it for him. He’s carried that guilt all these years. I don’t expect you to forgive him, but I’m asking you, please, don’t hate him. Hate me.” Mark said. He knew he was pleading now but he was starting to feel like maybe all wasn’t lost. Maybe he could get through to Brian.

Brian heard the sincerity in Mark’s voice, yet didn’t want to accept it. There was just too much to process and he couldn’t do it now, in front of this man. He sat up again and cleared his throat.

“Why don’t you just tell me what kind of trouble Connie is in.” Brian said.

Mark smiled at him with hope. Brian wouldn’t be asking is Conrad was in trouble if he wasn’t thinking about helping him. His ‘Connie’…It still stung Mark a bit to know that was an endearment Conrad reserved for Brian, but right now he’d listen to that special nickname Brian gave his lover a million times over if it meant he would help him find him.

“You know you’re the only one who’s ever called him that? I remember one time we were playing around and I called him Connie. He freaked out. Said he hated that name. Of course I knew he was full of shit. The truth was, he couldn’t stand for anyone else to call him that because it was what you called him and he didn’t want to hear it come from anybody else’s mouth. Including mine. Though he’d never admit it, I knew. I was never allowed to call him that.” Mark reminisced.

Brian raised his brow. “Oh I’m sorry Mark. That must have been such a hardship on you,” he said sarcastically.

“Listen Brian, I didn’t come here to argue with you.” Mark said not wanting to anger him.

“Then why the fuck did you come here?” Brian asked.

“I told you, for Conrad. He needs your help.” Mark said.

“I gathered that. What kind of help?” Brian asked.

Mark’s eyes welled up; the sight took Brian by surprise.

“He’s disappeared and I can’t find him!” Mark blurted out.

That got Brian’s attention in a big way. It also prompted Justin to move forward to stand behind Brian’s chair.

“What the fuck do you mean he disappeared? How? When?” Brian asked his voice taking on an edge.

Mark went on to tell Brian about the accident and the events that followed. He told him about the long search that never produced a body. He then went on to tell him how he had exhausted all their resources, including selling his house, in his quest to find Conrad on his own. By the time he was done retelling the events of the past several months he was sobbing.

Brian rubbed the back of his neck and cursed.

“Fuck Mark, if the authorities and the slew of private detectives couldn’t locate him, what makes you think he’s alive?” Brian asked.

Mark’s red eyes bore into him. “Because I would KNOW if he weren’t! I told you, we’re soul mates. I always could ‘feel’ Conrad. Brian, I STILL feel him!” Mark said.

Brian looked at him with pity. The man was obviously overwrought with grief, to the point he was destroying himself over it. There was an unshakable certainty in his eyes that Conrad was still alive and no one, not even Conrad’s ghost itself, could convince Mark other wise. That kind of unwavering devotion was foreign to Brian, and it was in that moment that he realized a sobering truth of his own; Conrad was better off with Mark. Though he loved Connie, he never felt the depth of love for the man that he was now witnessing from his partner.

“Mark…” Brian started in a conciliatory voice.

“No, Brian please...Don’t say it. I can’t hear it again, not from you, especially not from you. I’ve heard it from family, friends, and officials. I can’t bear hearing it from you! For God sakes you loved him at one time! How can you walk away without even trying? I’m begging you Brian. I’ll do anything, what ever you want…what ever you need….just don’t turn me down. I know you can find him, you have too. All these months, all the pain, all the loss, even me getting mugged, led me here to you. It’s our destiny. You lost Conrad once, now it’s time you find him again. And…keep him.” Mark said the last part with such pain in his voice Brian’s heart couldn’t have rejected it if it wanted to.

“Jesus Mark, don’t do this to yourself. I….”

 

“We’ll do our best Mr. Stanford, but we can’t make any promises. If Conrad is alive, rest assured, we’ll find him.”

Brian abruptly stood from his chair and turned to stare at Justin, shocked at his words.

“Justin you can’t….”

“I didn’t make any promises. We’ll do some investigating, that’s all.” Justin said then pulled Brian back and away from Mark’s bed.

“Fuck Brian, how can you turn him down?!” he hissed in a low voice.

“Because I will not give him false hope! It’s cruel to let him go on thinking Conrad is still alive. Just because they haven’t found a body doesn’t mean he’s still out there! Don’t you think by now he would have shown up? You heard him; he’s spent literally his life’s fortune turning over every stone looking for him with no results! The chances of Connie still being alive are….”

“I fucking know what the chances are! But there “IS” a chance! NO matter how slim, you owe it to YOURSELF to at least give it a shot! I’m not under any illusions here Bri, I’m just saying, what would it cost us to look into it? And if it gives that man a few more days of peace believing his partner is alive, then so be it! It’s not cruel Brian, it’s a kindness.” Justin said.

Brian cursed low and long and it carried over to Mark’s bed, making him sigh in relief. The blonde young man, whoever he was, had somehow convinced Brian to help him. Fate apparently, was working in more ways than one.

“Fine! I’ll look into it. But I’m not doing this for me, I really could give a shit, and I’m not doing this for him either, he and Connie made their bed together a long time ago. They could fucking live and die in it for all I care. I’m doing this for YOU! I just know I won’t get a decent fuck out of you unless I take pity on that old fucking queen and do some checking around. But that’s it Justin. I’m not spending any company funds on a wild goose chase, and I’m not wasting more time than it will take to go over the official records and talk to the previous PI’s about their findings. If, and that’s a big IF, I find they didn’t cover all the bases, then I’ll look further. But if I find everything that could have been done, has been done, then it ends there and I tell Mark it’s time to accept the truth and either kill himself and join his soul mate, or grieve and go on with his own life, but whatever he chooses, it won’t be my problem anymore.” Brian said.

Justin frowned at him. “You know you’re not as cruel as you pretend to be, so stop it,” he said.

Brian made a rude noise in the back of his throat. “Life is cruel Sunshine, not me. I don’t make the rules.” he said.

“No, but I have a feeling you’ve broken one or two in your life.” Justin said.

Brian raised his brow at him and pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

“More than you can imagine,” he said. ‘and most of them since you showed up in my life,’ he thought.

“Well break one more of your own rules. Go find your ex lover. Don’t phone this one in Brian. Find him. Either alive or dead. It’s the right thing to do.” Justin said in a serious tone.

Again Brian scoffed. “I’m not interested in doing the right thing; I’m interested in getting my dick sucked. That’s the only reason I’m doing this,” he said.

“Yeah, right. As if I wouldn’t suck your dick if you didn’t do this.” Justin returned.

“You would, but not with as much enthusiasm as you’re going to knowing I’ve agreed to help sad sack over there.” Brian said smirking.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Really help him? And not just go over someone else’s file, but conduct your own investigation?” he asked.

Brian ran his hand through his hair frustrated at how fast the situation was getting out of hand, and how easily his blonde was manipulating him. “I don’t have the fucking time to launch a full investigation! Or have you forgotten the Butler School case? You want me to abandon those kids to go looking for a dead man? Is that what you want me to do Sunshine” he asked cruelly.

Justin glared at him and lifted himself up on his toes so that he was eye level with Brian.

“First, I have NEVER abandoned a case, especially one where kids were in danger! Second, I can’t believe you are being this vicious towards your ex. No matter how bad he treated you, he deserves better than to be dismissed so callously!” Justin practically growled at him. His eyes burned cobalt blue with the intensity of his ire.

 

Brian’s nostrils flared as a sudden wave of lust washed over him. Justin was ferocious in his anger and it was hot as fuck. Brian made a mental note to piss his blonde off more often. His dick grew instantly hard and he pushed up against Justin forcefully.

Justin’s mouth flew open in surprise. “You’re fucking turned on?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, it turns me on when you count. Talk dirty to me. Tell me what your ‘third’ objection is.” Brian said smiling.

Justin actually sputtered. “You’re impossible!” He finally managed to get out.

Brian laughed. “Impossibly hard, a condition you will take care of in the car on the way back to the office,” he said.

Justin gave him a dubious look. “I will?” he challenged.

“Yes, you will. It’s your fault after all that I’m in this position, plus, I’m going to give you what you want. A ‘full’ investigation. Happy now?” he said.

Justin lowered himself from his ‘tiptoe’ stance and beamed up at Brian.

“Not as happy as Mark is going to be, but happy enough to give you that blowjob, provided you drive….real….slow…” Justin said then pressed his lips to Brian’s for a quick kiss.

 

 

Mark watched the exchange between, what was now obvious, the two lovers with a longing for his own lover. He believed that between the two of them, should they agree to help him, they would be able to find, and bring his partner back home to him. He held his breath as the two men turned and walked towards him.

“Apparently this is your lucky day Stanford.” Brian said stopping in front of his bed.

Mark let out a strangled cry of relief. “I can’t thank you enough,” he choked out.

“No you can’t. But you can do me a favor. First…” Brian stopped and looked over at Justin. “Did that have any effect on you?” He asked. Justin gave him a stern look. “No? Hmmm…I’ll cross math off my list of mutual turn ons,” he said. Justin slapped his arm playfully as he tried to hide his own smile. Brian shrugged and turned his attention back to Mark. “I don’t want you telling anyone, especially the cops, about our conversation. I was never here, got it? Mason, the guard outside, is going to come in and you’re going to give him a complete accounting of your mugging, and any other information he asks you, as long as it doesn’t involve me or our past relationship. If anyone asks why you wanted to see me tell them that a friend told you about my agency and you were interested in hiring me, but that you’ve changed your mind. Period. You don’t have to tell them why you wanted to hire me, it’s none of their business. If they pressure you I want you to give this woman a call.” Brian said reaching in to the inside of his perfectly tailored Armani suit jacket and pulling out a card to hand to Mark. “She’s a lawyer. Tell her I told you to call her. Understand?” Brian said.

Mark took the card and looked at the name ‘Melanie Marcus’. He looked back up at Brian and nodded his head indicating he understood.

“Good.” Brian said then turned to leave.

“Wait!” Mark called out. Brian turned to back to look at him. “Is that it? Do you have a second request?” he asked.

Brian glanced over at Justin who was standing by his side.

“Nope. It only works on me.” He said then opened the door and walked out.

“But how will I know if…” Mark started but Brian was already out of the room. Justin however took pity on him and walked back to his bedside.

“I’m Justin by the way. Justin Taylor. Give me your number and we’ll call you once we’ve found something.” He said as he pulled out his cell.

Mark gave him his number and Justin programmed it into his phone.

“Got it.” He said putting his cell away. He looked down at the man lying in the bed and gnawed at his bottom lip. Mark could see that he wanted to say something.

“It’s ok. Just say what’s on your mind.” Mark said.

“For the record, it was a fucking shitty thing you did to Brian. It wasn’t your place to tell him Conrad was leaving him…it was Conrad’s. Brian was right. He was a coward for not doing so, and you were just a prick. He was barely out of high school; did you have to be so fucking cruel? He told me what you said to him the last time you saw him.” Justin said.

Mark’s eyes grew cloudy at the memory. “No, I didn’t, you’re right. The truth was, I was jealous of Brian. Though I knew that what Conrad and I had was real, it didn’t change the fact that Brian would always hold a special place in his heart. I knew that then, and till this day, it still holds true.” Mark said.

Justin nodded his head. “Well at least that’s honest. Though it doesn’t excuse what you did. It’s amazing that he’s agreed to help you. No one would blame him for turning his back on you. It only goes to show how much better a man he is than you are. I don’t think I would have been so accommodating no matter how much the guy I was fucking was pressuring me. Oh and again, for the record, I didn’t talk Brian into doing this for you…he needs to do this for him. He needs closure, one way or the other.” Justin said.

“I know. And as long as we’re being honest, I don’t care why he’s doing it. I only care about finding Conrad.” Mark said.

“Fair enough. We’ll be in touch.” Justin said then turned and walked out of the room. He found Brian leaning against the wall right outside the door with his arms crossed. He looked a bit uncomfortable.

“Where’s Mason?” Justin asked.

“Getting coffee.” Brian said.

“God I hope he’s not getting dounuts with that coffee. Any more chins on that man and he’ll need a map just find his neck.” Justin said in an attempt to lighten the mood. He could feel Brian’s anxiety though he wasn’t sure of its source.

Brian huffed out an uneasy laugh. He lowered his head and shifted his stance in a nervous gesture.

“Thanks.” He said looking back up at Justin. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that conveyed he’d overheard his conversation with Mark.

Justin tilted his head and smiled at him as understanding dawned on him. Brian was thanking him for what he perceived as Justin defending him. What was odd was that Brian felt uncomfortable with it. He wondered how many people in the past have ever come to Brian’s defense. Not many he ventured. Brian wasn’t the type of man that needed defending. He was the type that did the defending. A role Justin had to admit he was suited for. Still, it was nice to have someone take your back now and then even if it wasn’t needed.

“Hmmm…well don’t thank me just yet. The blow job might be lousy.” Justin said.

Brian smiled and pushed himself away from the wall. “Your blowjobs are NEVER lousy,” he said.

Justin started walking backwards, away from him. “Hmmm…well just to be on the safe side…

“First….

“Second…

Justin never made it to third as Brian ran after him, pulling him into a nearby janitors closet and preceded to show him just how much ‘math’ turned him on.


	8. Chapter 8

The square, worn down stub of charcoal scraped incessantly back and forth across the coarse paper as Justin hastened to finish his drawing. He wanted to capture the iridescent reflection that bounced off the ice-capped waters before dusk settled in, taking the light away. He was so engrossed with his task at hand that he didn’t notice the biting chill or frigid winds whipping around his head. It was mid February and much colder up here in New York’s Catskill region than it was in the Pitts, or even the city. But Justin didn’t mind the cold. The astounding beauty surrounding him took precedence over incidental things like the weather.

He breathed in the cold crisp air from his perched position on an old tree stump, catching the scent of wood burning in the distance. The resort they were staying at was hosting a barn fire down by the frozen pond, which served as an ice-skating rink in the winter months. Justin was raised in New York yet oblivious to the spectacular beauty of the countryside just 90 miles north of the City. It was truly a winter paradise, and he was sorry that he and Brian couldn’t be here under more pleasant circumstances.

They left the Pitts two days ago on their quest to find Conrad. Brian booked them a room at the Mohonk Mountain resort, which was just several miles north of where Conrad’s accident occurred. Justin knew Brian well enough by now to know that he would stay in nothing less than a five star hotel, but he was totally unprepared for the grandeur of the lodging he chose. Mohonk Mountain House was an imposing Victorian castle that over looked Lake Mohonk. It was an all-inclusive resort that offered many activities for their guests, including horseback riding, ice-skating, skiing, and miles of hiking trails. And those were just the winter activities. Justin wanted to bring Brian back here one day just for pleasure. This trip was purely business, and to a great extent, personal, though Brian still refused to see it as such.

The drive up was made mostly in silence. Justin was glad Brian suggested he bring his drawing materials, though now in hindsight he believed Brian had ulterior motives for his suggestion. He needed the eight-hour drive to think without interruption. Justin didn’t mind, in fact he had two sketchpads full of the most magnificent sceneries he’s ever seen, or maybe ever took the time to notice… In any case, the long, quiet ride gave them both time to reflect on the events of the past week.

Had it only been one week since he first laid eyes on the man he still considered his very own ‘Greek Adonis’? The calendar would suggest so, but his heart was telling him otherwise. Since day one there was never an ‘uncomfortable’ moment between them. They fought, fucked and frolicked like they’d known each other their entire lives. Perhaps, Justin thought, it was a past life thing. Brian had told him that Ben, Michael’s partner, believed in reincarnation. Justin never gave such beliefs any credence, however, knowing how he felt around Brian, perhaps there was some merits to that particular school of thought. In any case there was no denying their effortless relationship. The eight-hour ride up in compatible silence was indication of their ease in each other’s company.

That ease however, did little to relieve the building stress Brian was experiencing since their arrival. After they checked in, the very first thing they did was go down to the local police station and pour over all the records from the accident. The reports all indicated pretty much what they expected. Icy road conditions forced Conrad’s car off the road and into the Hudson River. Divers were dispatched and the river was dragged for several days before it was determined that the river’s currents swept the body out to the ocean. When they were done reviewing the official report they then contacted the private divers Mark had hired. Their findings were similar to that of the county divers, though their search was more thorough. They used dept-finding equipment that used sonar to detect large objects, like bodies, in the water. Their high tech methods failed to identify anything of substance within ten miles of the crash site. They labeled their findings as ‘inconclusive’.

That was yesterday; today was spent contacting all the P.I.’s Mark had hired after the divers had come up empty. Brian was very frustrated with their findings. He was currently up in their room going over the reports again looking for anything that he could consider sound investigative work. Justin was sure he wouldn’t find any. Not one of the P.I.’s Mark had hired had done more than the minimum amount of work required to be called an investigation; and that was by the flimsiest of definitions. It appeared that they did no more than look over the police reports and conclude that the man in question was dead then proceeded to take advantage of his grieving partner by charging him an extraordinary amount of money for their ‘efforts’. There were no inquires made of surrounding neighbors or businesses…no circulations of recent photo’s sent out beyond what the Police distributed, which were limited to just official government offices like the post office...they didn’t even look into Conrad’s background to see if he had any enemies that would want to see him harmed, or lovers that he might have run off with. After all, as Brian stated to Justin, Conrad had a history of ‘running off’. In short, the P.I.’s, like the police, just assumed Conrad was killed in that accident. No one bothered to look past the waters edge for the man. The sheer incompetence of it infuriated Brian to no extent. Except for the divers, who did an excellent job, the follow up investigation was for shit.

Justin left Brian alone to think about their next move and came outside to draw. He was already attuned to Brian’s moods and knew when to give him space, and, right now, Brian needed space. His mood was volatile at this point because it was becoming apparently clear that they’d have to launch their own investigation, something Brian was hoping they could avoid.

Justin squinted against the glare of the sinking sun and sighed in disappointment. He let his thoughts wonder and he lost the light. It was just as well he thought, his heart wasn’t in finishing the drawing anymore. It was with the man who was currently queening out, no doubt, over having to go find his ex lover. A situation Brian never thought in a million years he’d be in a position to do.

Justin rose from his stump, thinking he’d been gone long enough, and headed back to the lodge. He had no illusions of what he was going to encounter once he got to their room. Though Brian was not ready to admit it, and that was assuming he’d ever be ready, the reason why Brian was so reluctant to find Conrad was because he still had unresolved feelings for his ex lover. Part of Justin wanted to find Conrad so Brian could get past those feelings and have closure, but, God forgive him, another part of him was hoping they didn’t find Conrad.

Justin grimaced at his own morbid thoughts as he entered the lobby and headed for the grand staircase that dominated the Hotel’s core. It was awful for him to even consider such a thing, but he did. Because as much as Brian might fear his own reaction should he encounter Conrad again, Justin feared it more. Conrad was Brian’s first love. It was said that you never get over your first love, a claim Justin didn’t believe mainly because he’d never been ‘in’ love before...never had a ‘first love’. The closest he came was with Chris Hobbs, but that wasn’t love. It was lust coupled with guilt. But he believed it now; because no matter how hard he tried to rationalize it wasn’t possible, the undeniable truth was, for the first time in his life…Justin was in love.

 

 

Brian leaned over the fireplace, his forearm resting on the mantle, while his other hand held a glass of Beam. The brown liquid swirled in the crystal tumbler casting off shadows from the flickering flames. He didn’t bother turning around when he heard the door to the room open.

“Hey,” Justin said panting heavily having opted to run up the three flights of mahogany stairs.

“It’s fucking cold out there,” he stuttered through chattering teeth as he threw his sketchpad on the nearby table and shrugged off his coat.

Brian glanced over at him and grimaced. “You’re fucking blue. Come here by the fire.”

Justin smiled at the invitation and joined him, spreading his hands out towards the heat of the flames.

Brian placed his glass on the mantle then grabbed Justin’s right hand and started massaging it. “Your hand is frozen stiff. You shouldn’t be out drawing in this cold,” he admonished lightly.

Justin watched Brian gently massage his aching hand and his heart swelled, ‘he cares…I know he cares...’ he chanted inside of his head as if trying to convince himself.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked breaking into his thoughts.

Justin’s head snapped up, startled by the question. He pulled his hand away from Brian’s.

“Nothing. So, what have you decided?” he asked avoiding Brian’s question.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he watched his blond. It was amazing how well he knew him considering they’d only recently met. Yet he was so in tuned to Justin’s moods it was scary. Right now, something was bothering him, yet he knew better than to push. Justin was probably the only other person alive more stubborn than he was. When, and if he wanted to tell him what was bothering him, he would. But there was something, Brian had felt it the past couple of nights in their lov…fucking.

‘lovemaking? Where the fuck did that thought come from?’ Brian physically shook himself as if to ward off a chill. He turned and retrieved his half filled whiskey glass from the mantle and downed it in one shot. Of course, he reasoned, sex with Justin was going to be special. They were more than just fuck buddies; they were friends, good friends. Brian never fucked a friend before so it was only natural the sex would be more… uninhibited. Yes, that was the word, uninhibited. Sex with Justin was open and freeing in many ways because of their easy relationship outside their fucking arrangement. That’s why making lov…fucking Justin was so special…so God damned intense…Brian closed his eyes briefly at the image that thought provoked. ‘Don’t go there Kinney. You know you can’t think straight when you go there’ he mentally cautioned himself. It was better to think that it was their close friendship that carried over into their sex life creating that ‘intimate’ feeling. That’s what made it…different. That’s all it was. ‘…that’s all it can be…’ Brian chanted in his head as if he were trying to convince himself.

“Bri?” Justin was still waiting for an answer.

It took Brian a minute to recall what Justin had asked him. When he did, he scowled and went to pour himself another shot of Beam.

“I need to call Mark,” he said.

Justin frowned. He knew the last thing Brian wanted to do was talk to Mark again, especially about the habits of his ex lover, but there were many questions they needed answered before they could begin their investigation.

“I’ll do it,” Justin offered.

Brian shook his head and sighed mournfully, “No, I’ll…”

“Stop being a fucking martyr Brian. I’ll call Mark. This is not my first time doing this you know. I know how to interrogate a suspect. And yes, I also know to treat Mark like a suspect. Until our investigation is completed, everyone is a suspect. You learn a thing or two watching reruns of Law and Order,” Justin bit out sarcastically.

Brian glared at him. “A martyr?” he gritted out between clenched teeth honing in on the gist of Justin’s tirade, and ignoring the rest.

“Yes, a fucking martyr! You’ve been acting like one since we got here, like it’s such a Goddamn hassle for you to be doing this! You’ve been moody and brooding, and ok, I get it. The P.I.’s did a lousy job, and now we’re going to have to launch a full investigation. And yes, I know I twisted your arm to do this, but you and I both know that’s really bullshit. No one makes you do anything you don’t want to. So why are you acting like doing this is the most horrendous of tasks for you? If it bothers you that much, DON’T do it! I’ll do it!” Justin snapped surprised at his own rage. Misplaced rage. He wasn’t mad at Brian for not wanting to do the investigation, he was mad at himself for caring as to the reason why Brian didn’t want to do the investigation…he didn’t want to face Conrad again and find out he still had feelings for him.

Justin took a deep steadying breath to calm himself. If this was what jealousy felt like he’d have to rethink this whole ‘falling in love’ thing again. God he felt like shit. He braced himself for Brian’s retort, knowing it was going to be harsh.

“Fine. Make the call. I’m going out.” Brian said with no inflection in his voice, and then grabbed his coat.

‘Ouch!’ Justin knew his response would be harsh, but he didn’t think he’d be cruel! Brian’s ‘Going out’ was code for ‘it’s time I fucked someone who wasn’t such a pain in the ass’. And Justin couldn’t blame him for feeling that way. He was being a pain in the ass. Fuck! Justin reached for his coat as well.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Going out sounds like a perfect idea right about now,” he said.

Brian wasn’t the only one who needed to fuck someone else, Justin realized with a heavy heart. They’ve gotten too secure in their sexual arrangement. He knew being friends and fuck buddies was going to complicate things. And he was right. Things just got real complicated. They, at least on Justin’s part, were taking too much for granted. These ‘possessive’ feelings he was experiencing were an indication that he was in too deep. He needed reaffirmation of his emotional independence.

Brian had his hand on the doorknob when Justin made his announcement. He stopped cold as the realization of what Justin was going to do sunk in. Of course it was exactly what he was planning to do, but that was different! Brian didn’t know how it was different, he’d have to get back to that one later for a reasonable explanation, but for now it was enough to know that it just was! He dropped his coat to the floor and turned to Justin, giving him a scorching glare.

“What the fuck do you mean, you’re going out?” he asked. His question sounded irrational even to him.

Justin threw his coat on a nearby chair and returned Brian’s glare. “Gee Brian, you’re a smart guy. You figure it out,” he said.

Brian’s temper flamed so hot he thought he was going to combust. He released the door handle and in two long strides was standing in front of Justin, clutching his arms.

“You will NOT go out! Not when you’re here with me, understand?!” he said.

Justin stared at him dumbfounded. “Even YOU aren’t that arrogant! I’m not to go out, but you can? News flash Kinney, you’re not Tarzan and I’m sure as fuck not Jane!” Justin practically growled at him.

And there it was...that anger. That hot as fuck crack cocaine for his cock anger. Justin’s dark cobalt blue eyes shot daggers at him. His breathing grew heavy and labored indicating his rising ire. His skin flushed hot pink from his neck to his cheeks. All of it went straight to Brian’s dick and he did the only thing he could do in a situation like this. He pulled Justin hard against him, and claimed his mouth.

 

The initial shock Justin felt at Brian’s passionate attack quickly turned to lust. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Brian would react this way if he antagonized him, and perhaps, subconsciously that’s exactly why Justin behaved so abhorrently. However, with Brian’s hot mouth claiming his, the time for analytical thought was not now. Now, all Justin wanted to do was show Brian how good they were together and to get his mind off Conrad.

Moaning deeply into his mouth, Justin raised his arms and wrapped them around Brian’s neck pulling him in deeper as his tongue plundered his mouth.

Brian followed Justin’s lead and walked them back until they hit the bed, both falling unceremoniously on to it, with Brian lying on top of Justin.

Justin frantically ripped at Brian’s clothing, needing the contact of skin on skin. In turn, Brian wasted no time in undressing Justin. Within a matter of minutes they were thrashing around on the bed in naked carnal lust.

Brian was ravaging his mouth, claiming him with his kiss. Justin felt it in his soul, and he was not about to deny him. As if he could.

‘You’re losing yourself in him…’

The frightening thought entered Justin’s mind. And yet, the knowledge did nothing to abate his need for Brian. He returned Brian’s kiss with just as much fervor. All the anger, all the longing, all the love, all the fear, poured into his lover. Yes, his lover. Justin resigned himself to that truth. He was Brian’s.

Justin tightened his hold on Brian and pushed up against him. Their hard cocks rubbed together. Justin ran his hands over Brian’s bare back luxuriating in the feel of his hard smooth skin. Brian groaned and rotated his hips against Justin’s creating a maddening friction that sent little electrical sparks of desire coursing through them. They never broke their kiss, which alternated between desperate and hot to soft and tender. Justin learned upon their very first kiss that Brian communicated things he could not put into words in his kiss. And right now that communication was strong. Brian was telling him how much he wanted him…needed him. Was it love? He didn’t know, and didn’t care. At this point he’d take Brian anyway he could. And that was precisely what he planned to do...Take Brian.

In a move so swift Brian barely noticed it, Justin flipped him on to his back. The kiss was momentarily broken. Brian looked up at him; his gaze was clouded over with lust.

"Turn over," Justin ordered seductively.

Brian reached up in response and pulled Justin down for another kiss, ravishing his mouth with an urgency that inflamed Justin. The kiss lasted until both had to break away to catch their breath. Justin pulled back and looked down at Brian with determination in his eyes.

"I need to be inside you," he breathed fervently.

Fleeting panic crossed Brian’s handsome features. He closed his eyes.

“Justin…no, I can’t,” he whispered.

Justin leaned over and brushed his lips gently against Brian’s.

“Yes, you can. It doesn’t have to mean a fucking thing other than I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. I’m asking you to trust me Brian…like I trusted you…please,” Justin said painfully aware that he was begging Brian for something that should just come natural to them considering how close they were.

Brian’s pulse quickened and his heart raced. He wanted to feel Justin inside of him. God he wanted it. The idea made his blood boil hot with lust, and he trusted Justin. Yes, it had been awhile, but like he told Justin on their very first time…’it’s like riding a bike’. However the last time he rode this particular bike he fell off, hard. He didn’t know if he had the guts to get back on. But he knew if he didn’t try now, with Justin, he might never again.

Justin watched the conflicting emotions flit across Brian’s face. He knew with everything in him that Brian wanted this, he just needed a little encouragement. With that in mind, he gently guided Brian over.

Brian closed his eyes and let Justin take control. ‘I can do this...I have to…’ he thought as he rolled over. A small gasp escaped his lips as he felt Justin position himself between his legs from behind.

Justin gazed lovingly at Brian's body, moved by the pure beauty of it. He wanted to make this first time very special for him. He wanted to brand himself on him, to banish all thoughts of his ex lover and replace them with hot new memories. A lot was riding on this first time, and Justin felt a sudden burst of nerves come over him. He took several deep breaths and gathered his courage. He could do this, he had to. Brian was his, and he needed all his energy and all his instincts, to break through the barriers that surrounded Brian’s heart and claim him. And that task started here, and now.

Resolute in his goal, he proceeded to lean over and flick his tongue at the base of Brian's neck, tasting the sweet saltiness of his skin. Brian shivered a little at the contact. Justin then moved his mouth over the wet spot and blew softly on the damp skin making Brian tremble at the sensation. Encouraged by his response, Justin dipped his head and ran the tip of his tongue all the way down over his spine, stopping briefly at the small of his back to lap at the smooth skin there, lavishing his attention on that very sensitive area. Brian squirmed and moaned. Justin raised his head and grabbed a pillow.

“Lift up on your knees,” he instructed.

Brian complied and Justin placed the pillow underneath him then put his hand on the small of his back and gently pushed him back down. He ran his hands over the smooth globes of Brian’s now raised ass before lowering his head once more and plunging the tip of his tongue into the cleft of his cheeks. Brian made a low growling sound in the back of his throat at the contact. It was the most erotic sound Justin had ever heard. He continued his sexual assault on Brian’s ass and snaked his tongue along the inside of his crack, slithering it down until he reached his ultimate goal, leaving a trail of salvia in its path. At first, he probed gently at Brian’s opening, but then hungering for more, he grabbed Brian's cheeks and spread them apart, giving him better access. With loving, wet caresses, Justin feasted on his lover.

Brian sucked his breath in as Justin worked his tongue in and around him, making his blood rush to his head, and giving him an impossible hard on.   
He had to bite his lip to keep from crying out as Justin performed his magic.

Justin was dizzy with the taste of Brian. He couldn’t get enough of him as he delved deeper, fucking Brian’s ass with his tongue. Brian let out a guttural groan. Justin felt his body tense up, signaling he was ready to cum. He reluctantly pulled back, not wanting Brian to cum yet, and blew a stream of cool air over his now very wet entrance. Brian hissed at the sensation. Justin smiled. He lifted himself up and leaned over so his lips brushed gently against his ear. ”Easy...” he whispered softly as he gently massaged the back of his neck and shoulders. Once he felt Brian relax a bit, he sat up and reached over to grab the lube from the bedside stand. He squeezed a generous amount into his hands then rubbed them together vigorously heating up the cool gel. He then lowered his hands and spread the now pleasantly warm oil over Brian’s opening, inserting just the tip of his index finger inside to loosen and lube him up.

“God that feels so fucking good,” Brian sighed into the mattress.

“It’s about to feel even better,” Justin said as he gently inserted one whole finger into him.

Brian threw his head back and let out a small gasp.

Justin leaned over and traced the lobe of his ear with his tongue.

"I could cum just watching you," he confessed in a husky, lust-ridden voice.

Brian let out a small grunt and squeezed down on Justin's finger.

Encouraged by his response, Justin slipped another finger in, then a third. Brian relaxed his body and loosened up for Justin, easily taking the three digits as Justin slowly and methodically finger fucked him.

"Now,” Brian commanded in a determined voice.

Justin hesitated. There was something in Brian’s tone that caught his attention. He was just starting to enjoy the anal play, why did he want to stop and jump straight to the main event? He knew Brian well enough to know he’d want to prolong the foreplay, reaping the most pleasure he could out of it before taking the first cock he’s had in years inside of him. That command, ‘Now’ screamed ‘get it over with’, loud and clear. It wasn’t a passion filled cry for release; it was an impatient demand to proceed. Justin frowned. Brian was ‘enduring’ him. He was letting Justin top him as some sort of personal vindication. To prove to himself that he could, that he was still capable.

Justin fumed at the sudden knowledge. It was so fucking typical Brian! How could he be so fucking stupid not to see it?! Brian gave in way too easily; he should have known he had an ulterior motive. Brian was a highly sexualized individual, and prided himself at having mastered the ‘art’ of gay sex, yet he managed to avoid bottoming since Conrad left him. Now, with the chances of him meeting up with his ex again after all these years increasing, he needed to conquer his fear of being topped. He couldn’t face Conrad knowing the man might be responsible for taking something from him when he left, yet that’s exactly what happened. Conrad stole from Brian that part of him that all gay men, even the most alpha tops, enjoyed from time to time - the joy of having a nice stiff cock up their ass. Brian agreeing to let Justin top him was in essence for Conrad’s benefit, and that pissed Justin off big time.

Justin pulled his fingers out and watched as Brian physically braced himself for Justin’s cock confirming his suspicions. He wasn’t acting like a man longing to get fucked. He was acting like a man on a mission to get fucked. There was a big, distinct difference between the two. Anger, frustration and hurt all collided inside of him. He flipped Brian over onto his back, none too gently either, and loomed over him.

“God damn it Brian why can’t you want me!” he demanded, his face mere inches from Brian, his eyes burning dark, dark blue. So dark they were almost black.

Brian blinked up at him stunned by his sudden change of mood.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” He asked pushing himself up on his elbows forcing Justin back a bit.

Tears sprung to Justin’s eyes and though he cursed himself for being so vulnerable in front of him, he couldn’t stop the emotions raging inside of him.

“You are ‘LETTING’ me top you!” Justin accused.

Brian looked at him like he lost his fucking mind. “You mean I ‘WAS’ letting you top me until you decided to stop!” Brian threw back at him.

Justin turned his head to the side and squeezed his eyes shut tight as he bit the inside of his cheek hard to calm himself. When he tasted blood he stopped and turned back to look at Brian.

“I don’t want you to ‘let’ me fuck you Brian. I want you to ‘want’ me to fuck you,” Justin said in a calmer voice.

Brian snorted angrily. “Weren’t you the one who said I don’t do anything I don’t want to?” he challenged.

Justin sighed. “Yes, but you want to because you feel you have to prove something to yourself, and to Conrad.”

Brian’s eyes widened at bit at that.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Justin said. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out? You can’t deny that we are very in tuned to each other. You’re testing yourself. You’re doing this to get past your fear of bottoming, of giving up control. You hate thinking that your ex took that joy away from you so you agreed to let me top you to prove to yourself that he didn’t hurt you. But the truth is, he DID! Else we wouldn’t be in this position now, would we? And though I am honored that you trust me to do this, I won’t be used like that. I want you to want to do this because you want ‘ME’! And not for any other reason than that,” Justin said in an exasperated voice. He sat back on his haunches and sighed.

“Don’t you see, Conrad wins if you do this because you feel you have to. Do it because you miss the feel of a man’s cock inside of you… that sweet burn of first entry, the feeling of being stretched and filled till you think you’ll explode…the sensation, the fucking mind blowing sensation of having a cock brush against your prostrate at just the right angle making you burst into a million tiny pieces of pure orgasmic bliss. Those are the reasons you should want to do this Bri. It’s all the reasons I had for wanting you to top me. ” Justin said.

Brian let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. Fuck! Justin was right, he was thinking of Conrad, well maybe not directly, but certainly indirectly, when he agreed to let Justin top him and that was a fucking shitty thing to do him. ‘Especially’ him. Someone he cared more deeply for than he would admit. He was so engrossed with thoughts of why he ‘needed’ to do it that he totally forgot about all the reasons why he should ‘want’ to do it. Justin outlined those reasons perfectly. He did miss the feel of a man’s cock in his ass, filling him. Not that he bottomed often with Conrad, even at fourteen he knew he was a top, but on those occasions when he did bottom, he fucking loved it. He’d forgotten that over the years. Something he hadn’t regretted until a certain blonde came into his life.

With a big sigh, he fell back against the bed, pulling Justin down on top of him.

“I do want you Sunshine, you know that. I’m sure you can feel that right now,” he said with a sexy smirk as he pushed his hard on up against Justin. Justin smiled down at him, happy at least the ‘moment’ wasn’t totally ruined.

“You always get hard when I get mad. Fuck you’re pretty much hard all the time. I think a stiff wind could give you a woody,” Justin said cheekily

Brian laughed. “Brat,” he said. He cupped Justin’s face in his hands and forced him to look at him, his eyes growing serious in their intent.

“Was I letting you top me to prove something to myself? Yeah… that was part of the reason. I hate to admit that, but it’s true. But do I want you to top me just because you are the hottest piece of blond ass I’ve cum across, and I do mean literally cum across, in a long time, if ever?, Oh yeah. That’s also the truth. Unfortunately I let one desire override the other, and fucked myself in the process. It was a stupid move on my part, and trust me, Sunshine, I’m not one to admit momentary lapses in judgment. I try as a rule not to have them. But since a certain blonde has entered my life it appears that I’ve been having a lot of them lately,” he said.

Justin frowned. “Is that a bad thing?” he asked.

Brian ran his thumb over Justin’s lush bottom lip, his gaze focused on the pink moist skin. “It’s best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Justin was shocked at the admission. His heart soared hearing Brian admit what he knew to be true in his heart. Meeting Brian was the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him too, yet even knowing that didn’t make their situation any easier. They were still two men struggling with the ghost of past relationships, afraid to move forward, yet determined not to be held back. And though he was farther along in putting his past behind him, Brian still had a way to go and Justin wasn’t sure if he’d ever get there.

He pulled his face from Brian’s hands and turned his head to lay his cheek against his chest not wanting him to see his troubling thoughts in his eyes.

“Why does this have to be so difficult?” he asked.

“Because we actually like each other. When was the last time you fucked some you actually liked, who didn’t fuck you back, and not in a positive life affirming way?” Brian asked tongue in cheek.

“Not in a very, very long time…” Justin answered solemnly.

Brian ran his hands through Justin’s hair soothingly. He hated the sadness he heard in his b’onde's voice.

“Come on Sunshine, it’s not that bad. I fucked up; don’t let it spoil our night. What do you say we start over?” Brian said.

Justin turned his head and looked up at Brian. “No, we can’t. I pushed this on you, like I push most things. I’m surprised you don’t tell me to go fuck myself.” Justin said.

Brian laughed. “What? And waste a good fuck? I’d rather you fuck me,” Brian said.

Justin shook his head. “Not tonight Brian. I want my first time topping you to be special. I don’t want it marred by memories of conflicting reasons. It has to be perfect, like the first time you topped me.” Justin said.

Brian smiled and ran the back of his hand down Justin’s smooth cheek. “That was special, wasn’t it?” he said.

Justin leaned into Brian’s caress. “Every time you fuck me it’s special,” he said in a smoldering voice.

Brian’s eyes lit up with lust at Justin’s sexy tone. “Hmmm…well the night is young….” he suggested seductively.

Justin answered him by reaching down to grab his cock and squeeze it. Brian pumped himself up into Justin’s hand.

“It would be a shame to waste this perfectly good hard on,” Justin said.

Brian moaned in response. “Yes it would be,” he agreed as he flipped Justin over on to his back and proceeded to show him exactly how much he desired him… and only him…

***

 

"Ahhrrrrrahhhh..."

Brian pushed deeper into Justin eliciting yet another deep moan from him.

"Mine..." he breathed heavily as he glided his palm down Justin's sweat covered spine. He grabbed a fist full of blond locks tightly in his other hand and lowered his forehead to rest in-between Justin's shoulder blades. He then lifted his hips and slowly pulled out of him, drawing more sounds of protests from his blond, before pushing forward again.

He’d been fucking Justin slowly and thoroughly for the past hour. He needed to show him exactly how much he wanted him. He hated that he fucked things up earlier, his blonde should be fucking him now, not that he was complaining; being inside of Justin was like stepping inside Heaven.

He’d never had this feeling of absolute fulfillment before in his life, not even with Conrad. He was just a kid then, naive and inexperienced. Since that time he’d spent years perfecting his skills but he never had the need to have someone top him before, until his blonde came along. And not for the reasons he first rationalized, but because it was Justin. He couldn’t believe he let Conrad fit into the equation. Justin was right, he needed to finally put that issue to rest, and he would. But that was not why he wanted Justin to top him. They fit perfectly, and having Justin inside of him would be the piece to the puzzle that was missing in their relationship. And yes, he was ready to admit that he was in a relationship. He wouldn’t call it love, but it was the most satisfying experience he’s ever had and he wasn’t about to fuck it up. He was a selfish prick, there was no denying that, but he didn’t care. He wanted to hold on to what he and Justin had for as long as possible.

Justin let out a little cry followed by a deep intake of breath bringing Brian back to his task at hand.

"Yesss...that’s it…" Justin grounded out through gritted teeth communicating the exquisite feeling of pain and pleasure Brian was infusing him with.

Brian turned his head and bit down on Justin's shoulder sharply. He then released the abused flesh and licked the mark he had left.

His blond let out an unidentifiable noise. His passionate cries had become a mix of grunts, groans and incoherent babblings creating a symphony of erotic tones, all of which acted like the strongest of aphrodisiacs on Brian.

Justin was a mound of quivering flesh. Brian had been applying his special brand of sexual torture on him now for so long he lost all track of time. He was amazed at his stamina not to mention his inventiveness. God he was a fucking sadist! He kept taking him right to the edge, even giving him a glimpse of the paradise that lay on the other side, only to rip him back and begin the journey all over again. Brian knew exactly how to work him. Justin liked his pleasure spiked with pain and Brian spiked the fuck out of it! No one fucked like him, Justin doubted anyone could. It was as if Brian were made just for fucking him.   
Brian shifted his hips and entered Justin from a different angle hitting nerves Justin didn’t even realize he had, sending little sexual electrical shocks rocketing through his body.

“Aahhhhhiiiisssss.." Justin let out the half moan half hissing noise. Brian never thought he heard a sweeter sound. He dropped a kiss in-between Justin’s shoulder blades then reached around and grabbed Justin’s cock.

"You know what I like best about fucking you?" Brian growled the question into Justin's ear.

Justin answered by expelling a soft mewling sound this time as he pushed his face into the mattress.

Brian closed his eyes at the pleasure coursing through his body and continued to fuck him, and stroke his cock in perfect rhythm.

"That..." he said, answering his own question. “Those fucking noises you make that go straight to my cock,” he said.

Justin could barely hear Brian; no less understand what he was saying. He was beyond comprehension. He just wanted Brian to keep on fucking and stroking him. But he knew he wasn't going to be able to just leisurely lay there and greedily accept the pleasure Brian was giving him. Oh no, Brian was going to torture him some more first. He felt it in his very being. He felt it in Brian's body, in his movements, and in his words. Brian was going to make him work for this one.

Justin turned his head to the side and pushed back against Brian, taking more of him in.

Brian had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from cuming.

"Oh no you don't Sunshine, not yet," he rasped out.

Justin was insistent though and pushed back harder, bringing his arm around to grab Brian's hip preventing him from pulling out.

"Fuck!!!" Brian cursed as his body almost betrayed him.

Justin took advantage of Brian's near orgasmic state and squeezed down on his cock.

"Arrraagggggggghhhhh," Brian screamed out his frustration.

His blond wasn't playing fair. He wanted to hold out, to bring his lover to the brink once more, then take him back again; keeping him on this torturous, yet erotic journey he planned for him but Justin was turning the tables on him, knowing his ploy.

Brian used every ounce of energy he had left not to cum, which wasn't easy. He had to resort to thinking about pussy to get his balls to loosen up that’s how close they were to bursting. His dick however couldn't give a fuck what thoughts Brian had in his head; it had its own thoughts that were keeping it rock hard and pulsating.

He grabbed a hold of Justin's hips and held him firmly still. He was about to turn the tables back around on his blond.

"Brian!!!" Justin protested. He wanted, no needed Brian to keep fucking him.

Brian took a deep breath then pushed Justin forward and pulled out of him in one swift movement.

Justin flopped down on the mattress with a startled cry. He flipped over on his back and glared up at Brian.

Brian chuckled at the look on his tigers face. He was ready to do battle. Good, he thought, just as I like him...

"What the fuck!?" Justin asked angrily lifting himself up on his elbows.

Brian grabbed Justin's wrist and pulled him up to him.

"I want you to cum," he said lowering his mouth to brush against his blondes trembling lips.

Justin's body twitched in response to Brian's words. He pulled his head back and looked at Brian with lust filled, confused eyes.

"I would have if you didn't pull out," he said.

"Yes, I know, but it wouldn't have been inside of me," Brian clarified.

Justin sucked his breath in. “No…” he whispered.

“Yes,” Brian countered in a voice that brooked no argument. He pulled Justin down on top of him as he flopped back on the bed. Justin let out a small gasp at the unexpected move.

“I want to feel that sweet burn of first entry…” Brian said repeating Justin’s words from earlier. “I want you to stretch and fill me until I’m mindless, begging you to stop and give me more in the same breath.…” Brian continued. Justin’s eyes glazed over with emotion at the passion, the ‘I need you right now fucking me,’ passion he heard in Brian’s voice.

“I want that earth-shattering experience of having a cock, YOUR cock, brush against my prostrate at just the right angle making me burst into a million tiny pieces of pure orgasmic bliss,” he concluded.

Justin's eyes grew dark with desire as anticipation filled him. Brian wanted him, him. Just him. This wasn’t about Conrad, this wasn’t about proving anything. This was about a man, wanting another man inside of him, loving him.

“Are you sure?” Justin asked, though his heart knew the answer.

“Very sure,” Brian growled and pulled Justin down to claim his mouth.

Justin kissed him with all the love in his heart, hoping Brian would feel it, and accept it. Brian returned his kiss with just as much fervor conveying to Justin that he heard him, and that he could trust him. His kiss said, “I won’t hurt you, your heart is safe with me, I promise.’ And that promise was enough for Justin. For now…

The kiss lasted until the need for air became necessary. Justin pulled back panting and diverted his attention to lavishing kisses on Brian’s neck and chest. He took his time in worshiping his lovers’ body with his hands, mouth and body. He left no part of Brian unattended. He loved him with the entirety of his being. He was no longer filled with anxiety over being Brian’s first since Conrad; he was totally lost in just ‘being’ with his lover. With pleasing him, over, and over again.

Brian was lost in a sexual haze. His blonde was assaulting his body with waves and waves of unbelievable pleasures. Just when he thought he’d reach the height of arousal, Justin sat up and reached over to the nightstand to grab a condom and some lube. The simple act made Brian’s cock swell to almost painful proportions. He eagerly rolled over on to his stomach. His body hummed in anticipation.

Justin paused and looked down at Brian. He rested his hand on his beautiful bronzed back and slowly moved it down his spine. Brian’s body told him so much. The flexing of his muscles… the heat of his skin…the sheen of sweat that blanketed his back and neck, causing the hair at his nape to curl from the dampness…his erratic breathing… all conveyed the intensity of Brian’s desire.

Justin reluctantly withdrew his touch from Brian’s hot skin and donned the condom. He then proceeded for the second time that night to warm the lube up in his hands before generously spreading the heated oil over Brian. He eased one, then two fingers inside of him, scissoring them to spread Brian open for him.

Brian moaned and pushed back against his fingers. Justin answered his silent plea for more and slipped a third digit in. Brian hissed. Justin leaned over and kissed the side of his jaw then turned his head to whisper in his ear…

“Bri, I…” Justin couldn’t get the words past the sob in his throat. He wanted to say something to mark this very special moment for him, but words escaped him. How do you tell someone how deeply they’ve affected your life, and your heart? How do you express your profound gratitude to the man who was about to give you the very thing that he valued the most? His trust. There were no words, yet Justin felt like he should say something.

Brian turned his head and kissed Justin soundly. “I know Sunshine, I know. Me too,” he said.

Justin breathed a sigh of relief at Brian’s words. He didn’t have to speak what was in his heart, Brian knew. He leaned over and kissed him tenderly, almost reverently as he covered Brian’s hand with his own and entwined their fingers. He then raised himself up again and positioned his cock at his entrance.

Slowly, and with great care, he entered him, stretching him inch by inch, giving him time to adjust. Brian relaxed and gave himself over to Justin’s control.

Justin pushed forward until he was fully embedded inside him and held still, basking in the sensation of being surrounded by Brian’s heat. It was like no other feeling he’s ever had. Being inside Brian was like being home.

Brian let out a deep guttural groan that indicated he was experiencing the same level of pleasure. Justin was surprised when Brian squeezed down on Justin’s cock, urging him to move. ‘Just like riding a bike.’

Justin pulled out as slowly as he entered Brian then pushed forward again creating a rhythm that was leisurely and painfully measured. Each stroke left Brian panting, and wanting more. Their exotic ritual continued for what seemed like hours and only minutes at the same time. Justin kept up his pace, making sure to angel himself to best pleasure his lover. Each time he hit Brian’s prostate, Brian would let out a loud deep-throated moan. After several brushes against that sweet spot, Justin could feel Brian was getting close, which he was grateful for. He didn’t think he could hold on much longer. With a will born from God knows where, Justin held back his orgasm. Sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped down onto Brian’s back. Fucking Brian was like riding a wave of pure ecstasy.

Justin decided he needed to take matters into his own hands, literally. He reached around with his free hand; his other was tightly clenched in Brian’s, and wrapped his fingers around Brian's cock and started stroking him in tempo with his thrusts.

“Arrgghhhh….” Brian cried out. He pumped himself into Justin’s hand desperately seeking release. Justin continued to stroke Brian’s cock and fuck his ass in perfect synchronization. Brian was holding out as long as he could, squeezing every ounce of pleasure from his blond.

Justin’s body shook violently with his need for release. He wasn't going to hold out. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek against Brian's back.

‘Fuck! Don't cum ...don't cum ...don't cum ....’ his mind chanted over and over.

"Brian....." he croaked out his need.

Brian felt Justin's cock throb inside of him, he knew his blond was ready to bust and he was not far behind him. His body was responded to the raging desires of his lover. All he could do was hold on, and let Justin take him over the edge with him.

Justin's strokes became more frantic, and less calculated. Brian recognized the change. His blonde was ‘in the zone’. He was so close, so fucking close…Brian could feel the sweet taste of release in the back of his throat. He pushed back hard nearly dislodging Justin. Justin cried out in surprise at the sudden move, but quickly recovered and pushed back. He started fucking Brian with reckless abandonment, lost in his own sexual haze.

Brian’s whole body clenched around Justin’s. He hissed his pleasure out between clenched teeth…. “That’s it, cum for me Sunshine..." he ordered, wanting to feel Justin's cock pulse and explode inside of him.

Justin lost it, God help him he couldn’t hold out any longer. He grabbed Brian’s hips and pulled him up off the bed and rammed his cock in him as hard as he could.

"Fuck... Brian!" He cried out as his body tensed and convulsed. His orgasm came swift, ripping through him so fiercely it burned.

"Arragggggggghhhhhh!!!"

The feel of Justin's cock throbbing inside of Brian was enough to rip his own orgasm from him. He squeezed down on the pulsating cock inside of him and screamed out his climax.

Their bodies jerked and convulsed in orgasmic bliss for a long time before they both collapsed back onto the bed, each gasping for breath, their hearts racing.

They continued to lie like that for a few minutes as they waited for their worlds to return to normal. Justin was the first to recover.

"Fuuuck!" He cursed in frustration. He eased his way out of Brian and rolled over onto his back, removing the condom and tossing it into the waste basket. His movements were stilted and angry.

Brian gingerly turned to his side to study his blonde. He chuckled deep in his throat. “I believe we just did Sunshine,” he said in response to his blond’s outburst.

Justin turned to look at him.

"I hate losing it like that," he confessed.

He berated himself for his lack of control. He wanted to last longer but he wasn't as disciplined as Brian. He lost all reason once he entered him.

There was Utopia inside Brian. A place where no barriers of the senses existed. Everything merged into one when he was inside of Brian. All feeling, all emotions and everything physical came together making them truly one in those moments right before his world exploded around him. It was a feeling like none other and Justin became its’ slave. He greedily drank from the erotic well he found inside of Brian when he knew he should have been more gentle, more considerate.

Brian would be sore from his lack of control and that knowledge angered him. He wasn’t some green kid; he should have had a better handle on it. It was Brian’s first time bottoming in a long time, and he failed at making the experience special. Instead he acted like an animal out of control.

Brian leaned over and kissed him seeing the worry frowns crease his blond’s forehead.

"Stop over analyzing. I fucking love that you lost it like that," he said.

"I just wanted to give you the pleasure you gave me our first time." Justin said despondently.

Brian laughed. “If these soaked sheets aren’t indication of how much pleasure you just gave me then I don’t know what more proof you need,” he said.

Justin smiled and turned into him, burying his face in Brian's chest inhaling his scent and branding it to memory. Brian brought his hand up and ran his fingers through the silky blond locks.

"Besides, do you have any idea what it does to my ego knowing I can make you lose it like that?" Brian asked.

Justin laughed and turned his head to look up at Brian.

"All the more reason for me not to lose it like that. Your ego's too big as it is," he teased, feeling better at Brian's words.

“As long as it doesn’t get bigger than my cock, we’re in good shape,” Brian said.

Justin snorted. “Then we’re in trouble because as massively endowed as you are, your ego has already surpassed it ten fold,” he said.

Brian swatted his ass playfully and pulled him in closer against his body. Their hot, sweaty flesh slid against each others’ sending little post coital tremors through them.

They lay like that for a few minutes just enjoying each other before Brian released Justin and reached over to grab a cigarette from the nightstand. He sat up and lit one. Justin laid his head in his lap and sighed deeply as he brushed his cheek against Brian’s cock.

“Easy tiger. You get me hard again and I can guarantee you’ll be a lot sorer in the morning than I’ll be,” Brian warned.

Justin frowned and turned to look up at Brian. “How do you feel now?” he asked concerned.

Brian sighed dramatically as he puffed out a cloud of smoke. “Abused, used, objectified,” he opined as he held the cigarette to Justin’s lips.

Justin took a couple of drags then laid his head back down on Brian’s lap. “Hmmm…well I guess there are worse ways to feel,” he said.

Brian huffed out a half laugh. “I guess there is,” he said as his hand found its way to his blond’s silky locks again.

Several long blissful, sated moments of silence passed as Brian smoked his cigarette. Justin was just dozing off when the sound of Brian’s voice broke through his sleepy haze.

“Oh and Sunshine….” he said.

“Hmmm?” Justin answered drowsily.

“You ever call me a Martyr again, and I’ll tan your ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week,” Brian threatened.

Justin wanted to tell him that it wouldn’t be the first time he’d been in that state. There was a time or two since he started bottoming again where Brian fucked him so hard he didn’t think he’d ever be able to sit again. However, he wasn’t about to divulge that information. He didn’t want to risk Brian taking it easy on him. Truth was he loved it rough, and hard. ‘pleasure spiked with pain…’So instead he simply replied; “Promise?”

 

***

 

Two very tired men drove up to the quaint local diner. The early morning sun streamed down across the snow-covered countryside emulating a Norman Rockwell painting. Unfortunately neither man sitting in the car was in a disposition to appreciate the effect. They were both exhausted from lack of sleep having literally fucked the night away.

“We going in?” Justin asked. He was slumped over, his head resting on the passenger side window.

“No, we’re going to sit here and wait for fucking room service,” Brian grumbled as he leaned his forehead against the steering wheel.

Justin cringed. “Please, don’t say fucking. I need at least 24 hours before I can even think about getting laid again,” he said.

Brian turned his head to side and raised a brow at him. “24 hours?” he challenged.

Justin threw him a scorching look. “Fuck you. You know you feel as sore as I do. And I’m fucking starving. When was the last time we ate anyway?” he asked.

Brian had to smile at his blond. He was cranky as hell when he hadn’t slept or eaten in awhile.

“With all the cum you swallowed last night I’m surprised you have room in your stomach for food,” he teased impishly.

Justin actually growled at him, and not in a life affirming positive way. “I swear to God Brian….”

Brian laughed. “Come on, the guy at the book store said this place had the best pancakes in town,” he said as he opened his car door.

Justin grabbed the book they purchased off the dashboard and exited the car. His legs were stiff; hell his whole body was stiff! Except the one part he didn’t think could get stiff again for a while at least. But oh God it was so fucking worth it…. Justin shook his head to ward off his sexual thoughts. He needed substance, and not the liquid protein kind, to fortify him if he were going to make it through this day. He and Brian had skipped dinner last night. They were too busy fucking from early evening, to dawn’s light. With breaks here and there of course, but it was definitely a marathon of fucking, sucking, rimming and ramming. They finally fell into an exhausted slumber around four this morning. Justin forced his tired worn body up around six a.m. to call Mark while Brian still slept. He didn’t want to wake Brian and chance them getting into a fight over who was going to make the call all over again knowing how the last argument turned out…his ass couldn’t take it…so he made the call down in the hotels lobby.

As it turned out, Mark had a plethora of information, none of which any of the P.I.’s managed to ascertain. Valuable information like the fact that Brian’s ex was a well-established novelist. Apparently Conrad gave up teaching after he left Pittsburgh to pursue a writing career. No surprise there. Teaching probably wasn’t the most ideal job for him considering his penchant for fucking young boys. A thing like that gets out and it could ruin a guy’s career. Though if you were going to risk your job over an affair with a minor, Brian Kinney was the one youth worth risking it for, Justin mused. He couldn’t fault the man’s taste, just his judgment.

After Conrad ended his affair with Brian, or more accurately, after his new lover ended it, Conrad and Mark moved to Upstate NY where they settled in a charming cottage just outside of the town they were currently in. Mark worked as an architect while Conrad stayed home and wrote. His efforts paid off and he sold his first book shortly after. His second book was on the shelves two years after that. Surprisingly, his books were a huge success considering they were all gay romance/mystery novels. He wrote under the pseudo BK Hallen. Justin was surprised Mark hadn’t objected since the BK was obviously a nod to Brian. Or maybe he did… It could have been a point of contention between the two of them. One that may have resulted in foul play. Like Justin told Brian, until they find out what happened to Conrad, everyone, including Mark, was a suspect.

Mark told Justin that as the years went by, Conrad’s fan base grew and a website was started. According to Mark, Conrad had a pretty sizable following. Thousands of fans flooded his website every day. For the most part they were just loyal readers eager to express their love to their favorite author, and get updates on when his next book release was scheduled. But some of the fans Mark remembered as being a tad obsessive. He told Justin that disturbing comments were left on the site, and occasionally, Conrad would receive an angry email from a fan. Conrad would just ignore it. Justin reamed Mark out for not reporting the emails to the authorities. For all they knew, one of those crazed fans could have been in someway responsible for Conrad’s accident, or disappearance.

Justin hung up with Mark having gotten all he could out of him hoping he wouldn’t have to call him again. He knew it wasn’t rational, but he despised the man for what he did to Brian. He was holding a grudge that wasn’t his to hold. He made an effort to remind himself that this was business, and not to take it personal. His next call was to Cynthia. He gave her the address to Conrad’s website and asked her to do some cyber investigating. She took the information down and assured him she’d have something back to him by later that night.

Justin went back up to their room after he hung up with Cynthia and climbed back in bed making sure not to wake Brian. He managed to get another hour sleep before the wake up call roused him. Neither he, nor Brian, relished getting out of the comfort of the luxurious bed but today would be the first day of their investigation and they wanted to get an early start. Justin filled Brian in on what he learned from Mark in the shower after he blew him; which turned out to be a smart move. Brian was too tired and sated to get angry over Justin sneaking out to make the call. They got dressed and hit the local bookstore to pick up one of Conrad’s books. Luckily, the owner of the store was a big fan and he carried every book ‘BK Hallen’ had ever written. They chose a really cheesy novel, in Justin’s opinion, called “The Locker Room Murder”. According to the summary on the back cover, the story was about the murder of a gym teacher whose body was found in the gym’s locker room. Hence the cheesy title. Justin skimmed through the book to find several chapters in which a male student was remembering being seduced by his ‘coach’. The mystery, Justin suspected, was which one of them killed him. A shrink would have a heyday dissecting Conrad’s methodology.

Brian found it all very amusing, Justin found it disturbing, almost as disturbing as the picture of Conrad on the inside cover. The guy was pretty fucking hot, much hotter than Mark. All the anxieties he felt earlier about Brian possibly meeting up with his ex again after all these years came rushing back. His stomach lurched a bit over the thought so he put it on hold for now. He needed coffee and food before dealing with that insecurity. Their next stop was the diner, where they were currently parked in front of.

 

They walked into the diner and took a seat at the counter.

“Cool place,” Justin said suppressing a yawn as he looked around. The diner was decorated in a retro 50’s style complete with authentic chrome fixtures, old fashioned jukebox and classic framed photos of 50-60’s icons.

Brian grunted in response and grabbed the menu off the counter.

“Who do I have to blow to get a cup of coffee around here?” he said

A tiny woman with dark hair and a fetching smile came out of the kitchen drying her hands on a dish towel.

“Well I’d say me, if I had the equipment. Unfortunately I don’t. I could ask the cook though if you’d like? He might be interested,” she said impishly.

Justin turned his head and bit his lip to stop from laughing. Brian just scowled at her. The woman shook her head disapprovingly and turned to pour two cups of steaming coffee. She brought them over to the counter and placed them down in front of them.

“Thanks,” they both said.

“Can I have some cream?” Justin asked.

The woman gave him a once over then turned to get the cream. Justin leaned over to whisper to Brian. “And I thought Deb was odd. What’s her problem?” he asked.

“Maybe she didn’t appreciate my comment,” Brian said shrugging his shoulders indifferently as he poured an obscene amount of sugar into his coffee.

The woman came back over with the cream and placed it front of Justin. She then took out her pad.

“You guys passing through? I pretty much know everyone in this town, haven’t seen you two before,” she asked.

“That’s because we’ve never been here. Now, if you don’t mind, we’re hungry. I saw the sign outside said Diner. I’m assuming that means you have food. Or some semblance of it,” Brian bit out sarcastically. Justin elbowed him. There as no reason to piss the woman off. Besides, it was a small town. She might know something about Conrad, or Mark.

“Ah city folk.” she said matching his tone, only hers sounded more patronizing. “What’ll ya have?” she asked.

Justin’s stomach growled at the mention of food. “I’ll have a short stack of blueberry pancakes, butter on the side, two eggs over easy, very easy, extra crispy bacon, and a side of whole wheat toast… lightly toasted with just a smidgeon of butter,” he said.

The woman smiled at him. “A ‘smidgeon’ huh?” she said raising her brow in a fashion that was quite impressive, even by Brian’s standards. “Hey Jose’ got a Liberace out here,” she called out to the kitchen.

The tiny hairs on the back of Brian’s neck rose, along with his temper, at the remark. “A little early to be making fun of the ‘gay city folk’, don’t you think?” he asked dangerously. The woman didn’t flinch. She turned her pen around and tapped it on the menu.

“Liberace special,” she said. Brian looked down at the menu to see what she was pointing at. All the menu items had celebrity titles. Under the ‘Liberace Special’ it said, pancakes, eggs, choice of breakfast meat. Brian rolled his eyes but didn’t apologize for jumping to conclusions.

The woman sighed. “See that’s what happens when you go out partying all night. You get a nasty hangover and say stupid things that piss off the waitress who’s about to handle your food. Now behave handsome, and I’ll get you a three egg white omelet with a side of fresh fruit, sans the spit I’m tempted to season it with, unless you do or say something else stupid to make me change my mind,” she said then winked at him.

Brian wanted to be angry, but couldn’t. He actually cracked a smile. Justin on the other hand laughed out loud.

“Um, I think I’ll pass on the bodily fluids. Had enough of those last night,” Brian said sheepishly, the devil in him wanting to shock, or at the very least, embarrass the woman. It didn’t work. She threw back her head and laughed.

“I bet you have gorgeous,” she said winking at Justin this time making him blush.

Satisfied her rebuke was taken in the good natured manner she intended, she turned towards the kitchen to give the cook their order.

“Hey, wait!” Brian called out. “Who said I wanted a 3 egg white omelet? I might want those famous pancakes the guy at the bookstore was raving about,” Brian said.

The woman turned around and gave him a superior look. “When you’ve been in this business as long as I have you just know. He...” The woman nodded her head towards Justin, “doesn’t have as many hang ups as you. He’s wearing a casual pull over jersey and a bomber jacket.” She said pointing over to the stool next to him where his jacket was lying. “You, on the other hand are wearing an Armani sweater to match the Armani wool coat you took the time to hang up on our coat rack and some kind of expensive cologne that’s making my sinus’s act up. He’s pancakes and bacon; you’re egg whites and fruit,” she said.

Brian and Justin exchanged looks. The woman should have been a P.I. or in some kind of police work, she was very observant and had an eye for detail.

“Don’t try to figure it out. It’s a gift,” she said witnessing the questioning glances the two men were exchanging. “Though Chickie is right to rave. My pancakes are the best. Have your friend give you a taste of his. It won’t kill you,” she said. She was about to turn around again to give Jose’ the orders when she spied the book lying on the counter next to Justin.

“You read this book?” Justin asked seeing that the book caught her attention.

“God Lord no. Not my cup of tea, but he’s very popular around here. We have a big gay community who are huge fans of his work. If you ask me though, his books are cheesy,” she said.

Justin smiled at her. “That’s my impression as well,” he said.

 

“If you like him, you should try Jack Caper’s books. Not as titillating as BK’s stuff, but the plotlines are more believable,” she said.

Justin was about to respond when another very tiny, younger woman stormed in from the back.

“Hey Gina, sorry I’m late!” she said all flustered as she tied her apron around her waist. She then turned to the two customers at the counter with a very big cheery smile on her face.

“Good morning!” she said.

“Good morning to you,” Justin returned the greeting. The girl was infectiously charming. Brian just nodded his head.

“Be careful with that one Christina…” The older woman, who they just learned name was Gina, warned the younger woman nodding her head in Brian’s direction. “He’s not a morning person,” she said then retreated to the kitchen to give Jose their orders.

Christina ‘tsk’d’ her and turned that bright smile back on them.

“It’s such a beautiful day out today! We better enjoy it. They say more snow is heading our way,” she chatted happily. Brian wished she would just shut up. His head was starting to pound from lack of sleep.

“Excuse me miss, but do you have any aspirin?” he asked.

“Oh sure! Got some Advil, will that do?” she asked.

“Perfect,” Brian said.

The young girl ducked under the counter and came up with a bottle of Advil and handed them to Brian. She then went to get him a glass of water.

“Here,” she said handing him the water.

“Thanks,” Brian said taking 3 tablets out of the bottle and downing them with the water. The waitress went to put the bottle away when she too spied the book.

“Oh my God! I read that book! He’s great isn’t he?” she said to Justin.

‘Well there’s two very different opinions’, Justin thought.

“Haven’t read it yet. But I’ve heard he’s pretty popular around here,” Justin said.

“Oh yes! And he’s such a nice guy too!” she said.

Both Justin and Brian jumped on her statement. “You know him?” They asked in unison.

The waitress blinked and backed up a bit at the urgency she heard in the men’s voices.

“Um, not really. He just comes in here from time to time,” she said.

Just then Gina came back out of the kitchen. She immediately saw the anxiety on her waitress’s face. She turned accusing eyes on them.

“What did you say to her?” she demanded.

“I’m sorry, we startled her. She said she knew the author of this book. We were just excited to know she knew him. You see we’re big fans of his,” Brian said.

“Bullshit. You, Mr. 5th avenue, wouldn’t get your hands dirty touching a book like that, no less read it. And I doubt bright eyes over there’s IQ is so low he actually would enjoy that trash.”

“Hey! I like his books,” the young waitress protested.

“Christina hon, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. But you’re nineteen sweetie, these men are much older…”

“Hey!” Brian and Justin both voiced their displeasure at the ‘slur’ of being called ‘much’ older.

Gina rolled her eyes. “All perceived insults aside, the fact is, you guys are up to something. Why so interested in that guy?” she asked pointing to the book on the counter.

Again the men exchanged looks. Justin nodded his head signaling they might as well come clean. They could get lucky and actually get some useful information out of them.

“Ok fine. We’re Private Detectives. The author of that book…” Brian paused and picked up the book and opened it up to show Conrad’s picture on the inside cover to both ladies…” real name is Conrad Callahan. He had an accident, his car crashed into the Hudson River. His body was never found but the authorities don’t think he survived the crash. His partner, however, hired us to do a little investigating just to make sure. When Christina here said she knew him, we both were curious how well,” Brian explained.

Christina put her hand to her throat. “Oh my God! BK is dead? I can’t believe it!” she said.

“Wait a minute, if he was in some car crash, wouldn’t we have read about it in the paper?” Gina asked.

“His partner asked the police to keep it out of the papers. He’s under the illusion that his lover is still alive, though to be perfectly honest, that’s not very likely,” Brian said.

“Can’t blame the poor guy for holding out hope,” Gina said with a sad sigh. “Tragic,” she muttered under her breath shaking her head. The kitchen bell dinged indicating their breakfast was ready. Gina went to pick up the plates. Brian looked back at the waitress, Christina.

“So you really think he’s dead?” she asked. There was a real sadness to her voice; one Brian thought was odd considering she said she said she ‘didn’t really know him’.

“It appears that way. Why? Do you know something that might indicate otherwise?” Brian asked.

Christina shook her head vigorously. “No, no. It’s just…well it’s just shocking. You never know do you? One minute you’re here, the next you’re gone. You know I should have told him how much I loved his books the last time he was here. But I didn’t. He wasn’t exactly approachable you know. Kept to himself mostly. He always made sure to come in during our slow hours, you know, to avoid being recognized. You know he has a lot of fans in town,” she said.

Brian noticed she said ‘you know’ a lot. The problem was, he didn’t know.

“So we heard. You say he always came in during your slow hours. Did he ever meet up with anyone while he was here?” Brian asked.

“Oh no. He was always alone. Except for the last time he was here. He came in with Tim. They sat in the back, very cozy like you know,” Christina said.

That caught Brian and Justin’s attention big time. Gina came out with their orders. “Here you go boys, enjoy!” she said placing the steaming hot plates in front of them.

“Tim?” Brian kept his attention on Christina. Gina turned to her as well.

Christina blushed. “Yeah, Tim. He’s a regular, you know,” she said.

“Does this Tim have a last name?” Brian pressed.

Christina shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know his last name,” she said.

‘Figures. The one thing she doesn’t know’…Brian thought peevishly.

“Are you talking about Tim from the brotherhood?” Gina interjected at this point. Brian turned his attention to her.

“What’s the brotherhood?” he asked.

“They’re a religious society that lives up the road on their own compound. Like the Amish. They live off the land, make their own cloths…stuff like that. They are totally self sufficient. They have their own schools and medical staff up there. They don’t let too many people in. Very private lot, but for some reason they love me. They come in often, and I’ve been invited up to their place before. Nice people,” Gina explained.

“And you know this Tim guy?” Brian asked feeling the rush of a break in the case.

Gina snorted. “That’s the trouble with damn detectives, always asking too many questions. What if I do? I wouldn’t tell you anything about him. Those are nice people up there! They get ridiculed enough in this community. They’re allowed to live their lives in peace without you or anyone snooping around in their business,” she said.

“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. If this guy Tim is in away involved in Mr. Callahan’s disappearance, then I have every right to question him and his cult,” Brian said.

That just pissed Gina off more. “Oh, so because their religion isn’t main-stream, they’re a cult?” she said. Justin could see the woman was in combat mode.

“No, it doesn’t make them a cult. But that’s beside the point. The real issue here is that a man is missing, and as far as we know, this Tim guy may have been the last one to see him before his accident. Maybe he could tell us if he was upset that day over something. It would explain him having an accident, if his mind was on something other than driving. Gina, we have a grieving man just looking for answers, that’s all,” Justin interjected trying to pacify the woman and appeal to her compassion.

Gina smiled at him. She like the blond man. She wasn’t too sure about his friend though.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I do know Tim. Don’t know his last name though. Like I said, he lives up at the compound, they are very private people. I could give you their address, it’s public record, but I doubt they’ll let you in to talk to him,” Gina said.

“Thanks that would be great. Can you at least tell us what he looks like?” Justin asked.

“Tall thin man. Red hair. Freckles,” Gina said.

“Thanks. That’s a big help,” Justin said.

Brian picked up his fork and dug into his omelet. His appetite wetted, both with the smell from the food, and with the major breakthrough they just had on the case.

“Well Gina, I must say, this smells delicious,” Brian said his mood suddenly lifted.

Justin took a bite of his pancakes and moaned loudly. “Oh my God Brian, you have to taste these!” He said holding out a fork full of the fluffy cake for him. Brian bit down on sweet morsel and closed his eyes in pure delight at the taste.

“No doubt. Those are the best pancakes I’ve ever eaten,” Brian said.

Gina beamed. “I told you,” she said with obvious pride.

“And I do hope you find some answers for your client to give him peace of mind, though I don’t know if that’s possible. Losing a loved one is just about the worst thing that can happen to a person,” she said then excused herself and went back in the kitchen.

Christina turned and grabbed the coffee pot to refill their cups.

Brian thanked her, added his sugar then went to take a sip of the hot brew.

“Oh, one more question Christina. Do you remember if Tim and Conrad, um, BK, left together? I know it was a long time ago, but anything you could remember from that day would be helpful,” Brian said as he took a sip of the hot liquid.

“Of course I remember. They ordered coffee and split a hot fudge sundae. They stayed for about a half an hour, then left. Together,” she said.

“Wow, that’s some memory you have there Christina. You still remember what they ordered and how long they stayed?” Justin asked as he took another bite of his delicious pancakes.

“Sure I remember. It wasn’t that long ago after all you know. It was just last week.”

Brian spit the coffee out all over the counter.


	9. Chapter 9

"Now you listen up boy...I'm just about a nose hair away from throwing you and your friend behind bars. This is my town ya hear? And I don't take kindly to being ordered around by some highfalutin sissified private eyes from out of state. Now I heard you out respectfully and all, but I ain't gonna tolerate no more hysterics from you, so don't push me," the pudgy sheriff spat out around the toothpick he was gnawing on.

Deputy ‘Hal', who was standing right behind Brian, snickered loudly. Brian could feel his hot foul breath hit the back of his neck causing the little hairs there to stand up on edge. He was quickly losing his temper.

He and Justin had just returned from the compound where Gina, the owner of the diner where the waitress dropped the bombshell on them that Conrad was alive, told them Tim lived. According to the waitress, Conrad left the diner with this Tim fellow less then a week ago. Tim was a member of the brotherhood and lived up at the Bruderhoff community, which was this large sprawling compound that was discreetly hidden in the Catskill Mountains. Gina warned them that they wouldn't be allowed in. And as it turned out, she was right. Not only were they denied entrance; no one would even speak to them. Having exhausted all their efforts to penetrate the impenetrable compound they sought out the aide of the local police. The sheriff, Cal Palmer, who just happened to be Chickie the bookstore owners' brother, wasn't being any more cooperative than the good fellows of the brotherhood, or very tolerant apparently.

"Sissified? What's the matter Palmer, Fag too ‘dirty' a word for you?" Brian asked in a dangerous controlled voice.

The sheriff rolled his eyes. "Don't get all sensitive on me boy. We've a large gay community around here. I know how emotional you types can be. And I understand you can't help yourselves, but I'm not a patient man by nature, and you've pushed mine to its limit. Now unless you have some concrete evidence of foul play, I suggest you take your fucking ‘politically correct’ fairy ass out of here before I make good on my threat," he said.

Brian and Justin exchanged looks. They've each dealt with homophobes in the past, but small town homophobes with badges were the worse. They had no doubt this sheriff would make good on his threat and throw them in jail without so much as a phone call. Not that Brian gave a fuck other than the fact it would cost them valuable time in locating Conrad.

"Come on Brian, we're wasting our time here. This is a case for the feds anyway. I'll make a call." Justin said gambling on a hunch that the sheriff wouldn't take kindly to having feds crawling all over his territory.

"Whoa, wait a minute now. You can't bring the feds in here!" the sheriff sputtered, dropping the toothpick from his lips as he pushed himself up from his chair.

Brian smiled at Justin. ‘Nice move blondie’, he thought.

"Why not? I would think you'd prefer dealing with them instead of us ‘sissified' type," Brian bit out sarcastically.

"Don't be a smart ass. I'd no sooner deal with Feds than I would with you. I told you, I got no cause to be going up there and bothering those people! There is no case here!" the sheriff said.

"No case?! A man has been missing for months and the waitress at the diner said....."

The sheriff snorted loudly cutting Brian off in mid sentence. "That file was closed months ago. All parties involved, both official and unofficial, concluded that Conrad Callahan died in that accident. Period, end of story, case closed! As for Chrissie, that little filly ain't got the sense to know what day it is, no less when the last time a customer came in," he said, then sat back down in his chair. His beefy lips curled up in a lewd smile as he replaced the discarded chewed- up toothpick back in-between his teeth.

"Not that anyone's complaining mind you. What she lacks in brains the good Lord made up for with them big titties of hers," he said.

Hal, who was still standing behind Brian, cackled like a hyena at his boss's observation. A fresh bout of foul breath, this time laced with spittle, once again hit the back of Brian's neck.

Brian bit his bottom lip as he tried to control his temper. His muscles grew taut, his breathing grew shallow and his eyes shot daggers at the crude man in front of him.

The sheriff continued, oblivious to all signs of Brian's growing rage. "But, just so you don't think I'm being uncooperative like and go running to the Feds, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bring that little gal in for questioning," he said scratching his stubbly chin.

Justin cursed under his breath. ‘Bad idea asshole,’ he thought fearing where this line of conversation was heading.

"Hey Hal, why don't you go down to the diner and fetch little Chrissie so we can have a nice friendly chat with her," the sheriff directed looking over Brian's shoulder to his deputy.

Brian didn't need to see ‘Hal' to know the man was bursting at the seams to do his boss's bidding.

"You got it chief!" Hal said in a voice that was sickeningly enthusiastic. "I wouldn't mind some one on one interrogation time with that sweet piece myself."

Justin mentally groaned knowing how Brian was going to react to the implied threat to the waitress. He stood by and prepared himself for the inevitable confrontation that was about to occur.

Brian slammed his hands on the Sheriff’s desk and leaned forward so that his face was right in the Sheriffs. The pudgy man backed up in alarm.

"You stupid fat prick! I've worked with guys like you before. Fucking scumbags who get off on taking advantage of the very people you're sworn to protect. Well not this time asshole! You go near that waitress and I promise you not only will I have you stripped of that badge and gun you worship so much, but I'll personally rip your fucking balls off!" Brian screamed in his face as his hands balled into fits. There was no mistaking the validity of his threat. Both the Sheriff, who was sitting in front of him with a stunned, frightened look on his face and the deputy, who was standing right behind him, took it very seriously.

Three things happened simultaneously. The sheriff reached for his gun, the deputy pulled his out and pointed it at the back of Brian's head and Justin, in a move so fast neither the Sheriff nor his deputy knew what hit them, disarmed them both. First, he kicked the gun out of Hal's hand, probably breaking it in the process if the mans' screams were any indication, then he drew his own gun and held it to the sheriff's head.

"You so much as blink and you're a fucking dead man," he said to the white faced Sheriff effectively freezing the man in place.

Brian pushed himself up and away from the desk. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. He wished to fuck the deputy would stop screaming. It was giving him a headache. He bent over to retrieve the gun from the floor that Justin had dislodged from the deputy's hand then turned to face his blond. ‘Fierce, beautiful and impetuous’ he thought with a mixture of pride and frustration.

"Justin...Really? Was that ninja shit necessary?" he asked.

"Um in case you hadn't noticed, you were about to become tomorrow's headlines. So I'd say, yeah, it was necessary," he said keeping his eyes and gun trained on the sheriff's head.

Brian sighed exasperatedly.

"You see Sunshine, this is why we get a bad rap for being too ‘emotional'. I think Carl just shit his pants, if the stench coming from him is any indication and you probably broke that sniveling fool's wrist," Brian said casting a glance at the man who was now rolling around on the floor holding his wrist and moaning in pain. At least he wasn't screaming anymore, he thought with some measure of relief.

"This is so NOT going to look good in our report," he said.

Justin scoffed incredulously. "You're blaming me for this?? The man had a gun to your head! He's lucky a broken wrist is all he got. And this one, whose name is Cal, by the way, not Carl, was about to pull his gun on you as well," Justin asked.

Brian snorted.

"Well whatever the fuck his name is, he wasn't any real threat. Look at the fat fuck. His reflexes are probably so slow I'd have had time to read tomorrows headlines, not be in them, before he managed to unhook his holster. And as for Deputy Dog over there on the floor, I doubt he's ever pulled his gun before no less used it. I bet it's not even loaded. Boss hog wouldn't be so stupid as to trust him with a loaded pistol, would you chief?" Brian asked the sheriff who was visibly shaking now.

"No...oo. Hal keeps his bullets in the glove compartment of his car," he confirmed.

Brian threw Justin an ‘I told you so' look. "See? You over reacted," he said.

Justin's lips tightened at Brian's casual attitude of their current situation. He was astonished at how impervious Brian was to having a gun pointed at his head. Though he had correctly surmised that the man behind him wasn't packing, there were no guarantees. And as much as he liked to dismiss the threat of the Sheriff reaching for his gun, the fact was the man could have moved faster than his appearance suggested. Yet Brian was confident that he accessed the situation accurately and acted accordingly. Justin wondered how many times Brian had been in this kind of scenario to make him so numb to the dangers surrounding him. Too many apparently.

"Yeah, well it's been my experience that no matter how improbable, anything is possible. Better to be safe than sorry. Did you think I was just going to stand by and let these pricks threaten you like that?" Justin asked.

Brian studied him for a moment. Justin's whole body was tense...coiled ready for action. ‘God he's fucking hot,' he thought. Hot and impulsive. His blond may have been rash in his actions, but his motives humbled Brian. He was defending him...once again.

"No...you wouldn't," he said in a low voice. He was quickly coming to the realization that his blond was very protective of him, and that knowledge pleased him more than he liked to admit.

"Listen fellows, why don't we all just settle down now before someone gets hurt," the Sheriff said, having finally found his voice, and his nerve.

"Good idea," Justin said as he reached over and removed the sheriff's gun from his holster before lowering his own gun. Brian went over to the deputy and helped him to his feet. He took his wrist in his hand and examined it.

"I don't think it's broken, but you should have it looked at. And next time watch where you're going. That was some nasty fall you took," Brian said.

"Huh?" Hal remarked not understand what Brian was talking about.

The sheriff got up from behind his desk and wisely moved away from Justin.

"Drawing a gun on police officer is a serious offense," he said.

"Yes, it is. But don't worry, I won't report you or your deputy," Justin said as he tossed the sheriff's gun back to him.

Cal fumbled to catch his gun. "You won't report me!" he exclaimed as he put in pistol back in his holster.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't properly introduce myself." Justin said then pulled his wallet from his back pocket and flipped it open, revealing his NYPD badge. Though he wasn't technically working for the NYPD anymore, they had let him retain his gun and badge classifying him as on temporary leave. The sergeant at his old precinct was hoping he'd return one day. He made Justin promise to take time and think about his decision to quit before making it final. Justin had two months before he'd have to officially hand in his badge and gun.

The Sheriff looked at it with wide, surprised eyes. "But you said you were private investigators!" he said.

Justin closed his wallet and put it back in his pocket. "We are. A man can wear more than one hat you know," he said.

"Or ‘bonnet', as the case may be," Brian threw in cheekily.

Justin looked at him and they both busted out laughing.

"I don't think any of this is funny! I'm telling you my wrist is broken, and you guys are gonna pay for it!" the deputy squealed.

Brian, who was still holding Hal's wrist, dropped it. "Stop being a pussy. It's not broken, probably just a sprain," he said.

"Cal you gonna let these fags talk to me like that!? They attacked us! I say we call the county police," the deputy said.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid ass. Go down to Doc Perkin’s and get your wrist x-rayed. Tell him you took a fall, just like the man said, you hear me boy?" Cal said.

"Why should I! They gotta pay for this!" Hal insisted.

Cal actually picked up a paperweight from is desk and threw it at his deputy. Hal's reflexes proved to be sharp as he ably dodged the heavy piece of glass.

"I swear to God Hal if you were any more stupid you'd be a rock. These guys are cops, just like us, only big city cops. Do you know what that means? It means they got just as much right to pull guns on us as we have on them. And if we make an issue of it you can bet there'll be more city cops paying us a visit. And we don't want that, you hear me? So you just go tell Doc Perkin what I told you. And if you so much as give me any shit, I swear to God I'll undeputize you and put YOU in jail!" the sheriff threatened.

Hal grumbled a bit, but in the end, went and did his boss's bidding. Once he was gone, Brian turned back to the Sheriff. "So, are you going to help us now?" he asked.

The sheriff mumbled something about wishing he took that sanitation job instead, then agreed to help him. Brian was grateful that Justin pulled his badge out. It was the deciding factor in getting the sheriff's cooperation, though he was surprised Justin still had it. He had thought his blond had left the force. If he still had his badge, that meant he was still technically employed by NYPD, which also meant, he'd have to return one day. Brian didn't like the way that bit of information made him feel. But before he could ponder on the significance of his feelings on the matter his cell rang. He pulled it out and looked at the incoming number. It was the diner. He had given Christina and Gina his cell number and asked them to call if Conrad came in again, or if they had any more information for him.

"Kinney." he answered.

"Hello Mr. Kinney, this is Gina, from the diner. Tim and Mr. Hallen are here now. They just ordered lunch. I'm serving them personally; Christina is a nervous wreck about this whole thing. If you want to talk to him, I suggest you get over here now," she said.

"We're on our way," Brian said then snapped his cell shut. He turned to Justin.

"Connie is at the diner," he said in a deadpan voice.

Justin physically gulped. Where as Brian's voice lacked emotion, he didn't trust his own to speak for all the emotions that were threatening to choke him presently. Instead, he just nodded his head. They both turned to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?" the sheriff called out to them.

"Change of plans chief. We don't need your help after all," Brian said then headed out to the diner.

 

****************************************************

 

"I think we should say something to him!" Christina suggested in a hushed whisper to her boss.

Gina sent Christina a warning look. As far as she was concerned this was none of their business. If anything, alienating the people from the compound would be bad for business. They were good customers. If it weren't for the fact some innocent man thought his lover was dead, she wouldn't have made the call. But her conscious wouldn't let her keep silent on this. She supposed it was too much to have hoped that Mr. BK Hallen, aka Conrad Callahan, wouldn't be back to her diner. If he were living up at the compound, chances were he'd be back, and he was. She just didn't think he'd be back so soon, but here he was, sitting in the back of her diner appearing for all intended purposes like he didn't have a care in the world; totally oblivious of the shit load of trouble heading his way. She wondered as she looked at the handsome man, what made him run off on his lover, and in such a heartless way? By the looks of him, he didn't seem the ‘cruel' type. His features were fair, and soft. His mannerism kind, his eyes compassionate. Her gut feeling was telling her he wasn't the type to let a loved one go on thinking he was dead. Something was just not right here, however pondering on it, was as far as she was willing to go. She'd done her duty, there was nothing else to be done, and she'd make sure her waitress would stay out of it as well. They were there to serve the customer food, not interfere in their lives.

She was about to reprimand Christina again for wanting to meddle when the door chimed. She looked up and was not surprised to see the two handsome private detectives from earlier stroll in.

"Go in the back and do some dishes Christina. And don't come out until I tell you," she instructed her waitress.

"But Gina...."

"But nothing! Do as I say girl! This is none of our business and I don't want you to get caught up in anything, you hear?" Gina cut off Christina's protest. Christina pouted and stomped off to the kitchen. Gina picked up a dish cloth and started wiping down the counter as the two men passed her. The tall one with the hazel eyes sent her a grateful look and nodded his head slightly. She nodded back in silent acknowledgement then tilted her head to the back room indicating where Tim and Mr. Hallen were sitting. His eyes drifted to the back room, his expression remained the same...impassive. The expression on his blond companion, however, was far from indifferent. There was anger and something else in his gaze that sent a chill down Gina's spine. He had his eyes trained on the two men in the back from the moment he walked in. He reminded her of a panther, crouched and ready to attack to protect its mate. Gina wondered if the tall handsome man with the hazel eyes knew how lucky he was. The blond was in love with him. The real kind too, not the selfish kind where the only feelings that mattered were one's own - but the kind where nothing mattered except protecting and caring for the one you loved, putting their happiness first. That was true love, and Gina had seen it once or twice before in addition to having experienced it herself with her beloved husband of 25 years, to recognize the signs. She knew true love when she saw it, and she was seeing it now in the blond's every move.

Gina felt sorry for Mr. Hallen, or Conrad Callahan, or whatever his name was. Again she was struck by how ‘innocent' he looked. He was either the best actor in the world, or a cold hearted, ruthless bastard incapable of feeling any remorse for running off like he did. Or maybe, just maybe he was innocent. Whatever the case, she doubted the young blond man cared. He saw Mr. Hallen as a threat to his love. Innocent or guilty, the unsuspecting man was about to incur the wrath of the blue eyed self appointed guardian angel to the handsome hazel eyed devil. Gina shook her head and laughed at her own musings. She turned her attention away from the men and towards making a fresh pot of coffee, and reminded herself once more that this was none of her business.

 

Brian walked towards the back of the diner where his ex lover was sitting, casually chatting and laughing with another man, as if he were walking in a dream. A dream where he was in high school again with all the teen angst that went along with that time in his life. The scene felt eerily familiar of a time long past where he'd be meeting up with his ‘Coach' at some out of the way diner or bar, for a clandestine sexual tryst. Only this time he wasn't here for a secret rendezvous with his lover, he was here to bring his lover...ex lover...back home to his partner. If he weren't so fucking nervous, he'd find great amusement in the irony of it all. That and the fact that he was nervous. A condition he couldn't for the life of him understand. He hadn't seen or thought of the man in years and he certainly didn't have any feelings, well other than disdain, for him, yet Brian had to admit, he was nervous. Though he'd slit his wrist before he'd let anyone know of his current state of emotional unrest.

To the average observer he was the epitome of cool. Everything from his carefully schooled features, to the cocky confidence in his stride screamed disinterested casualness. When needed, Brian could don his cloak of indifference in less time than it took to blink an eye, regardless of any hell that might be raining down around him. It was a skill acquired and well honed from years of practice. Yet his nonchalant attitude and appearance did nothing to squelch the 17-year old boy from clawing at his insides, demanding to be let out. That ‘kid' wanted at his Coach. Wanted to tell him what a fucking piece of shit he was for...well for everything. For making him believe in him, for giving him hope that there was such a thing as love and happily ever after... for stealing his innocence....Keeping that ‘kid' safely locked up was a feat Brian was determined to accomplish. He was a man now, and the time for childish confessions and recriminations were long gone, regardless of the pain that remained. He doubled his resolve and pushed his ‘inner teen' way back into the recesses of his mind as he neared Conrad's table. Without preamble, he grabbed a nearby chair, turned it around and straddled it facing the two men.

"Hello Connie," he said with a smirk that belied his jumbled nerves. God he's still fucking hot... he thought. The years apparently have been very kind to him. He had that look about him... the look that bespoke of a man who lived a happy life. With a sudden burst of clarity Brian realized that he never really looked this good when they were together. He had always looked so stressed out. Fucking hot, yes, but stressed. Someone, maybe this Tim guy, was responsible for that special look, that glow that Brian was seeing now. It was just another bitter truth he had to face that Conrad never loved him.

Conrad turned towards him with a blank look on his face.

Brian dragged his eyes from Conrad and looked over his shoulder at Justin who was standing right behind him. "Sunshine, wasn't I just saying what a small world it is? Well here's living proof. This is my old high school coach. Taught me everything I know about the game of soccer...amongst other things," Brian said, the double entendre was not lost on Justin; however, if the look on Conrad's face was any indication, the man was totally clueless.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" he asked.

Justin's eyes narrowed and his hands curled into fists at his side. ‘How dare he?!’ he thought. After everything he put Brian through as a kid to now act like he didn't even know who he was!?!? Justin didn't believe for a second that Conrad didn't remember Brian. Brian was UNFORGETTABLE! It just wasn't possible! He didn't know what kind of sick fucking game the man was playing but Justin was about to rip his head off.

Brian, on the other hand, looked back at his old Coach with a combination of awe, and confusion. He actually looked like he had no clue as to who Brian was. Sure, it had been over ten years, but he hadn't changed that much. Either the man was an expert liar, which, as Brian recalled, didn't use to be the case...Brian could always tell when Connie was lying, the man was a horrible liar....or he actually didn't remember him. Brian liked to think that it was the former. That the years had changed Conrad, and he'd become a master liar and manipulator. After all, he managed to trick his partner into thinking he died in that car accident. Yes, that had to be it. The man was an expert liar. There could be no other explanation because the alternative, that he actually didn't recognize Brian, was just too painful to contemplate.

 

Justin geared himself up for battle. An apt analogy since this was going to be an emotional battle for Brian. He could ‘feel' Brian's inner turmoil and his heart ached for him. Though Brian valiantly and successfully entered into the situation with calm resolute, Justin knew he was feeling anything but calm. It was taking all of his will power not to interfere. He knew Brian would NOT appreciate it if he did, but his instincts were screaming at him to do something, yet intellectually he knew there was really nothing he could do. Brian had to work this one out himself. Conrad was going to hurt him all over again...in fact he had already struck the first blow pretending not to know him. Justin wanted to cry the tears he knew Brian would never shed over this man regardless of how much pain he heaped on him. But those tears would have to wait. He focused all of his energy in presenting a united front to this bastard, throwing his full support behind Brian. He watched in awe as Brian tilted his head and studied his ex without a hint of distress. Brian was a master chess player, and Justin couldn't have been more proud of him. He knew how much Brian was hurting, yet no one would ever guess it from his cool demeanor. He was displaying a strength that amazed Justin.

"Hmm...well I'll admit, you're nothing like I remember either Connie," Brian said.

"My name is Brian, I don't know any ‘Connie'," Conrad said, his words were devoid of guile.

Justin caught himself before he audibly gasped at the audacity of the man.

"Brian?" Brian asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Yes, Brian Hallen. And you are?" Conrad asked.

Brian abruptly stood up, pulling the chair out from under him and placing it to the side.

"Enough games Connie. I don't know what the fuck you are up to, nor do I care, but your partner, remember him? Mark?....well he actually gives a shit. So much so he swallowed his pride and came begging me to find you. Now that I have, my work is done. If he weren't a complete ass like you, I'd tell him you were dead and save him the heartache, but I'm not that altruistic. Besides I do believe you two are perfectly matched, though you might have him beat in the asshole department. I'll let him know where you are. Expect a visit from him." Brian said.

The man, Tim, sitting with Conrad spoke up. "Please, wait. You don't understand," he said.

Both Justin and Brian looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. He was just as Gina described him. Tall and skinny with a dusting of freckles, and red hair. Neither man took notice of him before, having all their attention focused on Conrad.

Brian raised a brow at him. "Ah, well I can see where his partner might put a damper on whatever the fuck you two have going on, but that's not my problem. It's not for me to understand. I'm just doing my job," Brian said then turned to leave. Justin was right behind him.

"No wait! Don't go, he's not lying! He doesn't know who you are! He doesn't even know who he is!" Tim called out.

Brian stopped so abruptly Justin nearly collided into him. He turned back to the men. Tim was standing at this point, his eyes pleading, while Conrad remained seated with that same guileless look on his face.

"What the fuck do you mean he doesn't know who he is?" he asked.

"Well, he does, but doesn't. I mean he knows he's BK Hallen, the author, but he doesn't remember anything about himself. Christophe and I found him wandering around on our property. I've seen his face before on the back of his books, so I knew who he was. He was lost and injured so we took him in. As far as we knew, he was a recluse, with no living relatives. At least that's what Chickie from the bookstore told us. No one knew where he lived, and there was nothing in the papers about BK Hallen missing so he's been staying with us until he gets his memory back. We had no idea he had a....um...partner," Tim said the last part as if the mere idea was too sinful to even voice.

"Bullshit. He knows exactly who he is. He just told me his name is Brian. That name is only relevant to him. You couldn't have known that. Only he could," Brian said.

Tim looked affronted at Brian's language. "I swear, it's the truth. I took him down to Chickie's bookstore and showed him his books hoping it would spark his memory, but the only thing he remembered was ‘Brian.' We assumed that's what the ‘B' in BK stood for. He truly doesn't remember anything else about himself," he said.

"Are you telling us that you found an injured man with no memory on your property and you just took him in? Did it ever occur to you to call the police? That's kidnapping," Justin said unable to hold his tongue any longer.

Tim stared at him with righteous indignation. "God sent him to us. It was our responsibility to take care of him. We broke no laws. He's been free to go at any time. He chooses to stay with us. We've not been hiding him. We come here, and I took him to the bookstore to show him who he was. We don't question God's will, we humbly accept it," Tim said.

Justin snorted in disbelief. Brian put his hand on his shoulder in a calming gesture. He knew how ferocious his blond could be when protecting him and he wanted to avoid the confrontation he felt coming on. This was Connie's fault. Brian didn't for one second believe that he didn't know who the fuck he was. He was hiding from Mark, though the reason why he was hiding was still a mystery.

Brian walked back over to Conrad and leaned over so their eyes were leveled.

"You told them your name is Brian. If you don't remember who you are, why did you choose ‘that' name?" he asked, though it was more of an accusation. He purposely used Brian's name. The B could have stood for any one of a million names. Ben, Barry, Bill, Bob....Yet he told the good people up at the community his name was Brian. He obviously remembered more than he was letting on to.

Conrad felt like a spectator in his own life. It had been that way since he ‘woke' up from his trance to find himself roaming around aimlessly in unfamiliar territory. Everything from that point on had been unfamiliar. Up until now. This scene was all too familiar to him. He ‘knew' this man. How, he didn't know, but he was just overjoyed that finally, something felt ‘right' to him. Not that he wasn't grateful to the brotherhood taking him in and caring for him, he was, but they were strangers to him. This man, whose name he still didn't know, was no stranger to him. He knew it with everything in his being. He felt drawn to him for some reason. It was a comforting feeling after months of living in limbo. Yet, this man was making assumptions about him that he was NOT comfortable with. There was condemnation in those hazel eyes, and resentment. He wondered what he had done to make him so angry.

 

"I...I don't know what you're implying. I'm BK Hallen. I don't know how I know, but I know the B stands for Brian. And...I know you. Don't I?" he asked cautiously.

 

And there it was. The truth. Brian saw it in Connie's eyes. He was wrong, Connie hadn't turned into a master liar and manipulator...well the jury was still out on that last part...but he wasn't lying. Brian could always tell when Connie was lying and right now the man was truly confused. He tried to wrap his mind around what this meant... the implications of it all. Connie had some how survived that crash and was living up at some religious compound with absolutely no memory of his past, including who he was.

Fuck! He'd let his personal feelings prejudge the situation. He assumed the worst when in truth, Connie was in trouble, and needed his help....No, wait, he needed Mark's help. His work was done here.

Brian's eyes softened as he looked down at his ex with new understanding. He pulled the chair back to the table and sat down facing him.

"Connie..." he started, not knowing how to break the news to him of who he was, or even if he should. The man had amnesia, he didn't know much about the condition but he knew it required special treatment. He didn't want to give him too much information; he had heard somewhere that it was important that the amnesia patient remember on their own, but he couldn't be certain. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how ill equipped he was to handle this situation. He needed to get Connie to a doctor, and fast.

"I can't tell you much other than I do know you. Your name is Conrad Callahan and I've been sent to find you. The rest you're going to have to figure out on your own. But first, you need a doctor. A doctor will be able to explain it better, plus you need to be checked out. At the very least you need a CAT scan. I'm sure the people you've been staying with have been treating you the best they can, but you need more advanced medical attention. I want you to come with me. I know this must all be a shock to you, but I'm asking you to trust me. I'll take care of you...I promise," Brian said taking his hand in his own.

Conrad didn't hesitate in wrapping his fingers around Brian's hand. It felt... ‘good'.

"I do trust you," he said.

Brian smiled at him. "Then you'll come with me?" he asked.

Conrad smiled back and that '17-year old' kid inside of Brian did little flip flops at the emotions it evoked.

"Of course. But you haven't even told me your name," Conrad said.

"It's Brian. Brian Kinney," he said. ‘now you sound like Justin... "Justin. Justin Taylor"... That was how Justin introduced himself when they first met...’ he thought, and wondered why Justin, and that memory, popped into his head at this moment pushing back at the ‘kid' inside of him.....

 

Justin watched the ‘touching' scene before him and wanted to vomit. He felt like his whole world was crashing in around him. A soft gentle hand touched his shoulder, giving him comfort. He turned to find Gina looking at him with knowing eyes.

"Here, I made you some fresh coffee," she said handing him the cup that she was holding in her other hand. Justin took the cup from her and nodded his head in thanks, afraid to speak for his voice would crack with emotion.

"You know..." she began as she looked over at the two men holding hands... "He's going to need you now more than ever," she sagely predicted.

Justin looked over to his lover, friend, fuck-buddy, or God knows what their fucking relationship was anymore with a heavy heart. Brian was currently immersed in his past, consumed with concern for his ex and Justin had to physically swallow his jealously...and pride. Gina was right. Brian was going to need him and no matter how much it was going to kill him to stand by and watch the man he loved struggle with his own feelings over his ex, knowing that he might actually lose him to his first love...he would be there for him. Until Brian told him he didn't want him there any more.

He took a sip of the hot dark brew and oddly enough found solace in it. He turned to the woman who offered up her support with her coffee and smiled gratefully at her.

"Yeah...I know. And I'll be there for him...No matter what," he vowed.

 

And that...Gina thought smiling back at him, was true love.

 

**********************************************

 

"Brian you're being unreasonable." Justin said.

Brian threw him a scathing look as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Are we going to fuck or what?" he asked.

Justin raised his eyebrow at him. "Now you're being crass," he said.

Brian sighed and threw his shirt on the chair. "What the fuck do you want from me?" he asked throwing his arms out wide as he faced Justin.

"You heard the doctor. He said Connie needed time to get used to me before we introduce him to Mark. His memory of me has to take form first before we introduce him to a new one," Brian said repeating the doctor's words, though not verbatim.

Justin spat out a curse under his breath. Before they found the man he was ‘Conrad', well mostly. But since they found him it was ‘Connie' this, and ‘Connie' that. Justin would gladly live the rest of his life never hearing that dreadful name again. Each time Brian used it, it was like fingernails scraping against a blackboard.

"It never ceases to amaze me how you twist things to suit your own purpose. That's not exactly what the doctor said," he argued.

They had taken Conrad away from Tim, who willingly released him into their care, much to their surprise, and took him straight to Doctor Perkins. Gina suggested him. She made a call and they got right in. After a thorough examination, and a CAT scan to rule out brain damage, the doctor confirmed their suspicions that Conrad had amnesia. Probably brought on by the trauma of the crash. Doctor Perkins told them that it was a good sign that Conrad felt a familiarity with Brian, that much Brian got right. It was a clear indication that his memory would return in time. The doctor explained that there were two types of memory. Episodic memory, which is conscious memory of events and experiences, and emotional memory, which is unconscious memory of a ‘feeling' related to a specific event. The emotional memory often emerges first before the episodic memory materializes. Conrad had an emotional memory of Brian.

The Doc said the prognosis was good that Conrad's memory would return in full. The only thing he ‘suggested' was that they not rush him. To let him remember on his own. He said nothing about not introducing him to his partner. Brian took the doctor's suggestion to mean that he couldn't see Mark until he remembered Brian first. Justin knew that was just pure childish spite on Brian's part. Apparently that '17-year old' boy inside of him was calling the shots where his ‘Coach' was involved.

"Now you're telling me what I heard? Maybe it's you who likes to interpret things to suit your own purpose," Brian said.

Justin narrowed his eyes and walked over to him. "Don't you fucking dare start with that shit! This is NOT about me! I get it, ok!? He's your first love, you feel protective, but DON'T bullshit me about your motives! You need this one, don't you? You NEED ‘Connie'"...Justin spat the name out mockingly, and regretted it the moment he did, knowing it gave too much away about how he was feeling, yet plodded on with his point... "to remember you first so you can score a point for your side, don't you? You're being impossible, you know that? You act like a 17-year-old kid when it comes to him, but not that innocent love struck kid, but a vindictive spoiled brat who wants back at the man who stole ‘his' coach from him. You know if I really believed you loved him, I'd walk away right now and wish you the best. BUT THAT'S NOT LOVE BRIAN!" Justin screamed.

Brian leaned in and screamed right back at Justin. "AND WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE?!" he challenged.

"Not a God damned thing. But I know what it isn't. And it isn't this game you're playing of ‘Connie, Connie, who's got the Connie'. You're purposely keeping him away from his partner so that he'll remember you first, a fact I'm sure you'll take great pleasure in relaying to Mark. Why don't you save yourself the trouble and just fuck him? He's obviously very attracted to you. Then maybe, oh God I hope so, MAYBE, you'll feel you've gotten ‘even' for what they did to you and you can move on with your life. BUT DON'T DELUDE YOURSELF....Those are your motives!" Justin finished his rant with triumphant glare in his eyes then turned his back on Brian.

Brian stared at his blond's back noting the stiffness of his spine and the tensing of his shoulders. Justin was enraged; there was no other word for it. And though logic dictated that he should be equally enraged at him for all that shit he just spewed, he couldn't for the life of him get to that point because in order to do that he'd have to get past the fucking huge hard on he had right now for his blond.... And THAT overruled all other emotions.

"Fuck! You do that on purpose, don't you?" Brian said.

Justin turned back to look at him, his eyes knowingly went right to Brian's dick, which grew larger under his perusal. "You really are a demented human being you know," he said, only this time the anger was replaced with sardonic humor.

Brian stalked over to him and roughly pulled him into his arms. He was about to do all sorts of ‘demented' sexual things to him when a soft knock came to their door. Brian groaned in frustration. He had booked the adjourning room to theirs for Conrad to stay in.

"Fuck!" he spat out as he reluctantly released Justin and went to answer the door.

"Is everything alright?" Conrad asked looking past Brian nervously. He had heard yelling and instinctively felt the need to come to Brian's aide.

Justin heard the sincere concern in Conrad's voice. He didn't even know Brian yet felt compelled to protect him. As much as Justin wanted to hate the man, he couldn't fault him for caring about Brian. He had no motive other than what his intuition was telling him. Regardless of the way he had hurt Brian in the past, he must have cared very deeply for him at one time for him to be reacting the way he was now.

"I'm fine Connie. Go back to bed, it's late, you need your rest," Brian said.

Conrad looked up at Brian with tired eyes. "I can't sleep..." he said.

Brian frowned. The man had been through hell the past couple of months and now his whole world was once again being turned upside down, no wonder he couldn't sleep.

"Bri...it's ok. He needs you. I feel like going out for a bit anyway. Don't wait up." Justin said. He knew this was one battle he couldn't win, nor did he want to. He couldn't with good conscious keep Brian from Conrad tonight. The man truly needed a ‘familiar' face around him, to talk to. There would be a time he was sure when he'd have to fight for Brian, but that time was not tonight. Tonight he needed to exercise some of his own demons. A good bottle of tequila and a hot ass should do the trick. He turned and grabbed his coat.

Brian turned to look at Justin, then back at Conrad. "Go wait in your room, I'll be right there," he said turning Conrad around and shutting the door behind him. He walked over to Justin and grabbed him by his shoulders. Justin looked up at him with questioning eyes. Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he held his gaze. He then drew him to him and lowered his head so that their foreheads were touching.

"Don't," he said closing his eyes.

Justin took a deep breath in. "Fuck Brian, do you know what you're asking of me?" he asked in an emotion filled voice.

"Yeah...something I've no right to ask. But I just can't...I need to know I haven't fucked things up between us," Brian said.

"You haven't. But I still need to go," Justin said.

Brian lifted his head and stared down at his blonde. "You gonna trick?" he asked.

"That's not your business. God Brian! I'm not asking you if you're going to fuck Conrad!" Justin said.

"I won't," Brian answered, yet somehow his answer didn't give Justin any satisfaction.

"Yeah, well maybe you should. Sex I could accept...it's the ‘other' thing I'm having issues with," Justin confessed.

"Justin, there is no other thing."

Justin shot him an incredulous look.

"Ok, well there is ‘something', I'll admit. But it's not what you think," Brian said.

"I don't know what I think. All I know is that for tonight, you need to be with Conrad, and I need to be somewhere else," Justin said, then pulled from Brian's embrace.

Brian held on to his arm. "Don't trick," he said.

Justin turned his head and glared at him. "God you're fucking unbelievable. You've no right to make any demands," he said.

"I know, but I not demanding anything, I'm asking," Brian said.

There was something in his voice that pulled at Justin. He wanted to give him the reassurance he was seeking, but he couldn't. His emotions were all over the place and he needed some control back. He needed some distance right now and he believed Brian needed it as well. Justin knew in his heart that Brian cared very deeply for him, yet, he was also having conflicting emotions about his past lover. As hard as it was on him to be part of this convoluted threesome, he knew it was doubly hard on Brian. Justin couldn't give him what he was asking for but he didn't want to cause him anymore pain either.

He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes in thought.... "Define tricking," he asked.

Brian pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and smiled at him. "Your dick in someone's ass. And it goes without saying that your ass belongs to me," he added with a cocky grin.

Justin laughed uneasily, which broke the tension a bit. "And here I thought my ass belonged to me. It's a good thing I've got you to remind me," he returned cheekily.

"A very good thing," Brian drawled.

"Hmmm...well regardless of your perceived ownership of my being, I would remind you that I don't bottom for just anyone, so you're safe there. But I can't promise you I won't welcome a blow job or two," Justin said.

Brian nodded his head. "Fair enough. But I want you back to the room by one a.m.," he said.

"Four," Justin countered.

"Two," Brian returned.

"Three, and that's non negotiable," Justin said with finality.

Brian consented. "Oh, and one more thing," he said.

"What?"

"This..." Brian said pulling Justin to him and kissing him long and deeply, reminding him exactly of everything they had together...everything he refused to give up. By the time their lips parted, Justin was out of breath, and dazed.

"Oh that... how could I forget," he panted.

"Make sure you don't. And..." Brian hesitated for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he should voice his next thought... "No kissing either," he whispered against his mouth.

Justin nodded his head in agreement. ‘as if anyone's kiss could compare to yours..’. he thought dreamily. Brian let out a sigh of relief. He kissed him once more then walked him to the door.

"Back by three young man. And don't go wandering off with strangers. You're in the country...think Deliverance," Brian said.

Justin laughed. "This isn't the Ozarks Brian, its upstate NY. I doubt I'll be running into any crazed inbreeds. Besides, there is no one ‘stranger' than you," he teased.

"Yeah, well...just be careful, ok? I want you safe," Brian said, his tone turning serious.

Justin's heart did a little flip in his chest at the look in Brian's eyes. ‘he doesn't look at Conrad like that.' the little voice in his head said.

"I will...I promise," he said then kissed Brian gently on the mouth before turning to leave. Brian watched his blonde head for the stairs with a worried frown. He knew if he weren't careful he was going to lose him and that was NOT a situation Brian wanted to find himself in.

"Brian?" Conrad's voice called from the other side of the room. Brian turned towards him noticing that his inner kid hadn't reacted to Conrad's voice.

Conrad..... Somewhere in the last five minutes ‘Connie' became ‘Conrad'. Apparently that 17-year-old kid inside of him was losing interest in his old Coach. Maybe it was because he, the man, was too busy thinking of a strategy to win over one hot, volatile blue eyed blond tiger and that ‘kid' inside of him was warming up to the idea....

This night was proving to be full of revelations.

 

 

**************************************************

 

"Ohhhh fuck!" Justin moaned and slammed his head back against the dirty, splintered wall of the back room of Truman's. He fisted the tricks hair in his hands and pushed forward fucking his mouth, desperately seeking release. There wasn't one single conscious thought in his mind. He was comfortably numb to everything except the exquisite feeling of having his dick slide in and out of a hot, willing wet mouth. His brain was alcohol soaked and his body was on autopilot. Reality ceased to exist at the moment; the only world he was aware of was centered on his dick. Fuck Prozac, Vicodin and Oxy-contin. He'd been on them all after the bashing and found that nothing beat ‘this' for pain management.

 

~ ` ~ ` ~ ` ~ ` ~

 

Brian looked at his watch as he walked into Truman's. 2:20 a.m. It was a good thing he went down to the hotel's lounge, after he finally gotten Conrad to sleep, to get a drink. Justin had taken a cab to the club, the ‘only' gay club the town had, leaving the car behind. Considering he intended to get shit-faced, it was a smart move, however he doubted Justin realized that the cabs stopped running at two a.m. around here. The bartender was kind enough to inform him of that fact while he was closing up. Apparently not much went on past 2 a.m. in this town. The places that were open were an all night 7-11 and Truman's. All the other bars and establishments closed at 2 a.m.

Justin was going to need a ride home and rather than wait for him to call, which he doubted he would...stubborn fool would probably either walk or hitch a ride with some stranger before calling Brian away from what he considered his ‘long lost love'... he decided to go get him.

Truman's was actually a very nice place. It was similar to Babylon in many ways, though not nearly as glittery, or as large. There was the familiar ‘thumpa thumpa' humming through the crowd, Go Go boys dancing on raised platforms, and a sea of fags of all walks of life sweating and grinding to the music. Catskill's very own miniature gay Mecca. After one quick scan of the room he knew where he'd find Justin. He walked through the throng of men and headed straight for the backroom instinctively knowing where it was located, passing several very hot country boys on the way. If he weren't on a mission, he'd drag one back to the backroom with him.

The backroom was also reminiscence of Babylon's, but then again he found no matter where he was, New York, Paris, or in gay Pittsburgh, the backrooms all had the same motif. Dark, hot and decadently ‘earthy'. There was an undeniable crudeness to gay backrooms that appealed to the baser instincts of the gay man. The raunchiest sexual acts could be performed in these dens of debauchery and no one would bat an eye. On the contrary, they'd be turned on by it. Brian breathed in the scent of sweat and cum and steeled himself against its allure. His eyes quickly adjusted as he prowled the dark interior. Hands reached for him, beckoning him to join them, but Brian declined. He had a particular itch that only a certain blond could scratch.

"Jesus fuck!" Justin cursed and hit the wall behind him with his fist. The trick was just not doing it for him, but it wasn't for lack of trying. He was good, very good, and Justin was enjoying his mouth immensely, but for some reason he just couldn't find relief. He needed...more. He needed Brian.

Brian heard Justin's unmistakable voice, and the frustration in it. He rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks as his blond came into view. A surge of anger and jealousy ripped through him at the same time hot unbridled lust filled his loins. The conflicting emotions collided with each other throwing his equilibrium off. He took a moment just to watch Justin. He was leaning up against the back wall; his head thrown back, his features taut with frustration...his hands were wrapped tightly in the tricks hair who was kneeling in front of him, sucking him off. Even from his vantage point Brian could see Justin was struggling to get off. He smiled as he approached with the intention of lending his blond a ‘helping hand', or whatever else he needed.

 

The trick was oblivious to the man moving up behind him. Brian widened his stance and inched forward until his legs were on either side of the kneeling trick. He then leaned over and placed his hands on the wall, one on each side of Justin's head. His face was mere inches from his blond's. His eyes were still closed tightly, his face showing strain. Brian's nostrils' flared with lust at the sight. He brushed his nose against the side of Justin's before swooping down to capture his mouth in hot carnal kiss.

Justin sucked his breath in as he felt Brian's mouth attack his. He didn't need to open his eyes to know who was kissing him. He moaned deeply into his lovers' mouth and felt the trick blowing him double his efforts, no doubt believing he was the cause of his sudden renewed passion. He let go of the tricks hair and raised his arms to wrap them around Brian's neck, pulling him down to deepen the kiss.

Brian pressed forward, pushing his cock against the back of the tricks head and grinded, forcing Justin's dick farther down his throat. The trick bucked back and gagged. Without breaking the kiss, Brian reached between his legs and pulled the trick up by his hair. He then spun him around and slammed him against the wall next to them so that his face was pressed against the dingy wood. Too aroused to protest, the trick let this new man take control. Brian then briefly broke the kiss and turned his head towards the trick.

"Stay," he commanded then turned back to face Justin. He ran his thumb along his bottom lip, gently pushing it down exposing pearly white bottom teeth. He leaned over and swiped his tongue along their smooth surface then pulled back and smiled at his blonde.

"We had an agreement," he whispered in a dangerously sexy voice that pooled over Justin like warm honey.

Justin peeked up at him through lust-laden eyelids. Brian leaned in again and brushed his lips against his temple this time, darting his tongue out to draw a wet line down to his cheekbone, then lower to the corner of his mouth where he dipped his tongue in to remoisten it, then back up to those sexy eyes, kissing each one... "Back by 3...it's nearly that now," he said as he continued his sensual exploration of Justin's face.

Justin moaned in response. "I would have been back by 3," he said in a hoarse raw voice.

"Hmmmm....the cabs stopped running at two," Brian replied as he nipped the side of Justin's mouth sharply. Justin hissed in pleasure filled pain.

"I know...that trick you just pulled off my cock was my ride," Justin said. Brian laughed huskily into his mouth.

"Well then, we really should repay him for being such a good Samaritan, shouldn't we?" Brian said, his mouth now moved to Justin's neck.

"Oh God yessss..." Justin moaned at the sensations Brian's mouth was creating. "I mean....if you say so," he amended tilting his head to the side giving Brian better access. Brian spent a little time nibbling and sucking on the sweet flesh, knowing Justin would be sporting some very colorful bruises in the morning, before pulling away. He grabbed Justin's face between his hands forcefully and kissed him hard then abruptly released him and swung him around so that his chest slammed into the tricks back. Both Justin and the trick gasped at the sudden move.

"I want to fuck him..." Brian growled into Justin's ear as he grinded his cock against his ass. "through you..." he clarified.

Justin nearly came right there. Brian reached around and started jerking Justin off; his jeans were pooled around his ankles at this point. "Pull his pants down," he ordered. Justin obeyed and quickly pushed the trick's pants down, panting wildly at the eroticism of the scene.

"Good boy," Brian crooned into his blond's ear. "Now take this and put it on him," he said handing Justin a condom. Justin fumbled a bit with the foil in his excitement before ripping it open. He then rolled the condom on the tricks hard cock, at the same time, he felt Brian putting a condom on him. He didn't question why Brian wanted the trick to wear a condom; on the contrary, he was bursting with anticipation over what Brian had in mind for them.

Brian released Justin just long enough to put his own condom on. He then handed Justin a packet of lube. "Now ready him, nice and slow. Make him fuck your fingers," Brian said. Justin groaned as he did Brian's bidding. Again, he nearly came when he felt Brian lubing his own ass up, taking painstaking care ‘not' to hit his prostrate, knowing Justin would cum if he so much as went near it.

Brian eased his slick fingers in and out of Justin as he watched him finger fuck the trick from over his shoulder. It was so fucking hot...Brian leaned over and bit Justin at the spot where his neck met his shoulder causing his blond to hiss in pain. He then licked the wounded flesh and repeated the act on the other side of his neck. Brian knew his blond so well....he liked his pleasure spiked with pain.

Justin needed to feel Brian inside of him before he exploded. "Brian, please, fuck me now," he rasped.

Brian chuckled deeply. "Not yet Sunshine. It would be rude to begin before all our guests have arrived," he said.

Justin turned his head to look at Brian. "Guests? What..."

"Shhh..." Brian hushed Justin's inquiry with his mouth, kissing him into silence. "Pay attention to our trick, we're going to need him hard and ready," Brian said pulling his mouth away and urging Justin back around to face the trick against the wall. Justin reluctantly followed his lovers' direction and tried to focus his attention on the trick's ass.

Brian looked around the room, all the while keeping up his slow torturous fingering of Justin's ass. Their little party was drawing a lot of attention from the backroom patrons. He doubted anything this hot ever happened in this small town gay establishment. They were creating quite a stir. Any one of the men watching would beg scratch and claw to be part of their sexual play. He had his pick of the litter and the adorable twink with the Zach Effron haircut and wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights look would most definitely do.

Brian gave the boy a scorching sexual look that could not have been mistaken for anything but an invitation. They boy blinked his eyes then looked behind him before looking back at Brian. He then pointed to his chest and mouthed the word, "me?" Brian smiled and nodded his head, beckoning the boy over to him. The boy slowly approached.

"You like what you see?" Brian asked once the boy was standing beside him. The boy looked down at the wanton anal play being performed in front of him and visibly gulped.

 

Brian huffed out a small sarcastic laugh. "Justin, meet our new friend," he said. Justin looked over his shoulder at the new arrival. He gave the boy a once over and nodded his approval. Young, but hot. He looked over at Brian... "For me?" he asked sending the boy a predatory smile. Again the boy gulped.

"Hmmm...maybe later. If you behave. But for now, he's trick number 1's bottom boy." Brian said then tapped the trick who was now nearly melded into the wall in a complete euphoric sexual haze, on the shoulder with his free hand. "No free rides here princess. I brought you a treat. But you'll have to earn it." Brian said then motioned the twink towards the trick against the wall. The trick turned his head to look at the new comer.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"See Sunshine, they're already getting along," Brian said against Justin's lobe. Justin laughed huskily.

 

"Enough of the introductions, time for the main event boys," Brian said.

Justin eased his fingers out of the trick, causing him to groan in protest, and pulled him off of the wall. He then pushed the twink, face first, against the empty space and pulled his pants down. Brian handed him a packet of lube smiling at his blond's uncanny intuition. Justin knew exactly what Brian was planning. As the saying goes...great minds think alike.

Once Justin had the twink properly lubed, panting with need, Brian positioned the trick behind him. Justin then moved into place behind the trick. Brian grabbed his blond's hips and anchored himself behind him.

"Now listen carefully boys, this is how it's going down..." Brian began. He had all three men's rapt attention. "Trick number 1 is going to fuck the twink..."

"Um, my name is Cody."

"No one gives a fuck what your name is. You interrupt me again and the only action you'll get tonight will be from your hand," Brian admonished. The boy wisely kept quiet. The beautiful man could call him anything he wished he decided.

"Now, as I was saying, trick number one is going to fuck the twink here, Justin, is going to fuck trick number one and I'm going to fuck all of you, through Justin. Now pay attention boys...this is the important part. NO one moves, until I move, got it? Think of it as a ‘fuck chain'. I control the rhythm. If anyone misses a beat, fucks out of turn, you're done. I'll kick your sorry ass off the chain so fast you'll be fucking air then I'll replace you with any one of the multitudes of men that will be watching us. Understand?"

The mention of being watched heightened all their arousal. Brian looked to all three men to make sure they understood the rules. When he was sure everyone was ready, he entered his blond in one swift, powerful thrust. His abrupt entry caused Justin to surge forward, burying his cock deep in the trick's ass, who then pushed forward into the twink's ass. The chorus of "Ahhhh's" echoed through the backroom causing several gasps and moans from their audience. Brian then slowly pulled out, hands on Justin's hips, and Justin followed suit, pulling out of the trick's ass, who then pulled out of the twink's ass. ...and so the ‘chain fuck’ began.

Brian controlled the fucking. Each movement was deliberate, and brooked no resistance. Each man knew his role. The temptation to let go and just ‘fuck' in abandonment was felt by all, yet no one dared break the ‘rhythm of the chain'. The controlled fuck was scintillatingly erotic. Sweat covered each man's body making it hard to hold on. Groans, grunts, moans, pleas and promises of first born’s fell from each man's lips but Brian was merciless. He kept them all on the edge, refusing them the release they sought. He watched the men carefully and stopped his movements the moment he suspected one of them was about to cave in and cum. Justin was proving to be the most resilient of them all. Himself included. He was fucking loving this, and was determined to make it last as long as possible. Of course he couldn't help but tease the fuck out of Brian by periodically squeezing his ass muscles around Brian's cock, testing his own resolve. The little shit was going to pay for it he swore...with many hours of blowjobs, rim jobs and good old fashion fucking once they were alone, sequestered away somewhere, just the two of them. Not that he wasn't enjoying their mini orgy, he was. He was fucking loving every minute of it, but he started this with one intention in mind....One he wanted to make sure his blond understood.

"Why am I doing this?" Brian panted the question into Justin's ear, causing the blond to almost falter.

"Why?" he repeated straining to form a coherent thought in his current state. His whole body was humming with sexual electricity; he had no fucking idea why Brian was asking him philosophical questions at this very moment!

Brian bit down on his shoulder hard. "Fuck!" Justin yelled. Though Brian now had his full attention, it wasn't for talking. Justin's passion only increased at the sensation of pleasure mixed with pain. He squeezed down harder on Brian's cock. Brian hissed and stilled his movements, causing everyone to stop. Muffled curses followed his abrupt halt.

"I...said...why am I doing this?" Brian grounded out through clenched teeth as he desperately tried to pull his desire in.

Justin lowered his head and moaned in frustration. "I swear to God Brian, you're killing me here..." he panted. His balls were fucking ready to burst and he'd be damned if he would be the one to break the chain. But Brian was being relentless.

"Goddamn it Justin, fucking answer me!" he growled. Justin heard the almost desperate urgency in Brian's voice. He turned his head to look at him. There was an intensity in his eyes that stole Justin's breath away. There was something else there as well...a need....He needed to know that Justin understood he realized with sudden clarity. His chest swelled so big with emotion, he didn't know which was going to burst first, his heart or his balls.

"Because you want to claim me as yours..." he bravely ventured, knowing instinctively it was what Brian wanted to hear, what he needed Justin to know.

Brian leaned over and gently kissed Justin's lips. "And are you...mine?" he whispered into his mouth.

"Yes..." Justin answered without hesitation. "Then prove it, cum for me," Brian said and Justin did just that. Cum. Long and hard, causing the final chain reaction. Brian felt his blond's ass spasm around his cock from his powerful orgasm and let his own rip. Justin's pulsating cock caused the trick he was fucking to cum into the twinks ass, who was just waiting for permission to shoot his load all over the dingy wood wall. He was sure he'd be pulling splinters from his dick for the next week, but he didn't give a fuck. He would never forget this night...

Their combined orgasms caused a symphony of screams, profanities and prayers that could be heard over the loud music playing out in the club.

Several minutes past, where each man was just leaning against the other catching their breath before the sound of applause brought them back to reality. Brian pulled himself together and out of Justin. Justin then pulled out of the trick who then disengaged from the twink. The chain was broken and the twink and the trick went their separate ways without so much as a thank you knowing it would not be welcomed or appreciated. The beautiful tall man and equally beautiful blond were too engrossed in each other, kissing and touching as if they hadn't seen each other in years, no less just fucked a few minutes ago.

The crowd dispensed, leaving the lovers alone and went to their respective corners to fuck and suck as if their lives depended on it, displaying their appreciation for the show. Brian and Justin were oblivious to everything around them.

"So I'm yours huh?" Justin beamed up at his lover; his arms were wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Hmmm...I do believe we've just established that," he said as he lowered his head to nibble on his neck. His blond did have the most delectable neck...

"Ohhh...yes we did. But what about....Conrad," Justin asked, and then regretted it the moment the question left his mouth. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin this moment with talks of Brian's ex lover.

Brian lifted his head and stared down at his blond. "There is absolutely nothing about Conrad, Sunshine. I'm calling Mark in the morning. I realized something tonight," Brian said.

Justin tilted his head to the side and lifted his brow in question. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear what epiphany Brian might have had about his ex lover but curiosity got the best of him. "Oh? And what was that?" he asked.

"Just that some things often appear larger in the rearview mirror then they actually are,” Brian said.

Ok, Justin wasn't going to question exactly what the fuck Brian meant by that convoluted analogy because he got the message behind it. Brian realized his memories; his feelings for Conrad may have been exaggerated in hindsight. Actually spending time with the man made Brian see the truth of his and Conrad's past relationship and their present one. The mere fact that Brian called Conrad, Conrad, and not Connie, was indication enough that the affair ‘teen' Brian was still having in his head with his ex was over. Justin smiled one of his million watt smiles up at Brian. Brian groaned at the sight.

"Let's take this party back to the room, shall we? I don't think these good old country boys can take another one of our hot performances," Brian said.

Justin pulled him down and gave him a searing kiss. "What ever you say....I'm all yours," he said.

They made a hasty retreat, eager to be alone, completely unaware of the legendary status they earned that night which forever would be known as ‘the night of a thousand ‘cums''

 

***************************************

 

"Fuck....I drank way too much last night," Justin said as he took a sip of the tomato juice the waitress Christina placed in front of him.

"Where's BK?" she couldn't help but ask. The two men left the diner yesterday after discovering the man they were looking for was indeed BK Hallen, the author, and she hadn't heard a thing since. Doc Perkins wasn't talking. She tried grilling him earlier this morning when he came in for his customary coffee and egg sandwich, knowing he examined BK yesterday, but something about doctor/patient confidentiality forbade him to discuss it with her. She knew this of course, but Doc Perkin wasn't exactly known for his discretion. In this instance however he was the epitome of professionalism. And she knew better than to ask Gina; her boss frowned on any type of gossip concerning her customers. So she had resorted to asking the two men who took him away yesterday directly. She was bursting with glee when she saw them walk in the diner this morning.

"Mind your business Christina," Gina said coming out from the back. She placed the two breakfast plates she was carrying in front of the two men.

"Breakfast is on me fellows. Just my way of saying thanks," she said.

Brian put his hand over his mouth to stop the yawn that was threatening to slip out. He and Justin fucked twice more when they got back to their room last night. Being with his blond was proving to be very exhausting. Both mentally and physically, yet he never felt better in his life. He never felt more...alive.

"Thanks for what?" he asked once he successfully stifled his yawn.

Gina turned to Christina. "We're low on milk. Go over to the market and pick me up two gallons," she said. Christina pouted but did her boss's bidding. Once she was gone Gina turned back to the men.

"For standing up to Sheriff Palmer. He's a nasty piece of work. I heard what he was going to do to my girl, and how you two stopped him. Hal was squealing like the pig he is to Doc Perkin when he went to get his wrist fixed. You know you did break it by the way. Hair line fracture," she said smiling at Justin.

"Good," Justin said. Gina laughed.

"Yeah well thanks. You put a good scare into them two. The problem with Cal and Hal is that they think no one can touch them. They use their power to terrorize people with no fear of recriminations. Now they have fear. Cal was telling Chickie, his brother, that he was concerned your ‘friends' from New York might be coming down to pay them a visit. The man is shaking in his boots. I suspect he and his deputy will be keeping a low profile from now on," she said.

"Someone should report him," Brian said biting into his egg white omelet.

"To who? This ain't the city. We got the local police, and the county police. Both work hand in hand. Sure you can kick a complaint up to the State police, but they ain't gonna touch it either. Unless someone gets hurt, or worse, complaints get swept under the rug and the person complaining gets harassed more than before. But now, because of you two, the word is out that they're now being watched. Or so they believe. I doubt they'll be harassing anyone anytime soon, or if ever again," Gina said smiling.

"Why would they believe that? We never threatened them with anything like that," Brian said.

"No we just threatened them with physical violence," Justin said, his voice filled with mirth.

"No, I threatened them with violence. You actual committed violence on them," Brian amended. Both men and Gina laughed.

"Yeah well I may have given them that impression," she said with an impish smile. "I told Chickie that you two had connections with internal affairs and that they've been hearing bad things about the local police in this area," Gina said.

Brian laughed at the woman's audacity. "Why Gina, you sly thing. You lied," he said.

Gina shrugged. "Well a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do," she said not denying the accusation. Brian was going to reply when he heard his name being called, more like bellowed, from the diner's entranced. He turned to see Conrad standing there, his face bright red with rage.

"Fuck, I think he remembers," he said to Justin.

Justin looked over at the man. "Oh yeah, and he don't look happy," he remarked then went back to eating his pancakes.

They had taped a note to Conrad's door this morning telling him where they were going to be. They didn't want to wake him and disturb the little ‘alone' time they had left before having to deal with him. It was still early, just past 10 a.m. Brian was going to call Mark after they'd eaten their breakfast but by the looks of Conrad, he already spoke to his partner.

Conrad stalked over to him, his steps sure and determined. "How could you!?" he screeched in Brian's face.

"Hmmm...seems like someone could use a cup of coffee," Gina said then turned to pour the irate man a cup.

Brian ignored him and took a sip of his own coffee. This only inflamed Conrad more.

"Well? Fucking answer me! You've known since yesterday that I was alive and you didn't inform my partner? You cruel son of a bitch!" he raged.

Brian slanted him a lopsided grin as he put his cup back down on the counter. "Well, if memory serves me right, and that is a big "IF", since I've recently discovered that it hasn't served me well in the past on certain matters, but I do believe that was one lesson you taught me well. You should be proud," he said. Justin groaned besides him. Brian was in combative mood.

Conrad gasped and sputtered at the same time. "So, that's why you didn't call Mark? Retribution?" he asked in a nasty, sarcastic voice.

"Oh calm the fuck down Connie," Brian said. Only this time when he used the name ‘Connie' there was no affection in it. The name was uttered in total mockery

Conrad actually cringed. "So this is retribution," he said, his anger somewhat dissipated.

"No, this is me having breakfast with my boyfriend. I had every intention of calling Mark today. AFTER we've eaten," Brian said.

‘Boyfriend? Did he just call me his boyfriend?' Justin thought. Oh yeah, this day was just getting better and better.

Conrad snarled at him. "So eating breakfast was more important than informing my partner who's been going out of his mind these past several months with grief over my disappearance, that I was still alive?" he asked.

"Actually, yes. You need to back the fuck off before you piss me off. Mark came to me begging me to find you. I did him a favor...a favor mind you NO one would have blame me for turning down considering our past. Let's not forget what total shits you and he were to me when I was just a fucking kid you prick!" Brian paused reining his temper in...Though he was glad he got that off his chest, it felt good, it wasn’t necessary. He was past giving a fuck about his past now that his future was looking much brighter. Sunshine bright...

"So," he continued, "instead of railing at me for not informing your partner of your miraculous resurrection sooner, I'd appreciate it if you'd just said thank you, and be on your fucking merry way," Brian said then turned his attention back to his breakfast.

Conrad's anger totally deflated at his words. He was right. He could have turned Mark down and God knows how much longer he and his lover would have been separated. The truth was, it was seeing and talking to Brian that sparked his memory. If he hadn't found him, he would still be living up at the compound surrounded by strange unfamiliar faces. He and Mark owed Brian a lot. Least of which was their thanks. He sat on the empty stool next to Brian and watched him physically tense.

"Bri..."

"Don't fucking call me that," Brian said.

Justin discreetly reached over and rubbed Brian's lower back in a comforting gesture. This was a conversation long over due, and Brian needed to let it happen.

Conrad cleared his throat. "Brian...I'm sorry," he said.

Brian kept his eyes on his plate. "For what?" he asked disinterestedly.

"For...everything. You're right, you didn't have to help us. No one would have blamed you. But you did. And I can't image why after the way I treated you," Conrad said.

Brian snorted in answer. Then continued to eat his breakfast, ignoring Conrad.

Conrad sighed. "Brian. I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry. I know it was a shitty way to leave you," he said.

"Yeah well, I should have expected it," Brian said.

"No, you shouldn't have. How could you have? I never expected it, but it happened, Brian. I fell in love. I tried to deny it, but I couldn't. Then when I finally accepted it I tried to tell you, but you were so stubborn...so arrogant you wouldn't accept it..." Conrad actually laughed at this point. "God I remember how cocky you were for a kid! The mere idea that someone was hotter than you was inconceivable to you." Conrad smiled and blushed, as if recalling a very, very fond memory. "And you were right. I've never met anyone as beautifully unique and desirable as you. Not even Mark, and yes, he knows that. There is simply no one like you Brian, and I think you know I'm not lying. You always were uncannily intuitive when it came to me, hell, when it came to most things. And for the record, I had no idea what Mark had said to you until years later. I can't apologize for him, but I can say that I understand why he was so vicious. Like I said, he knew how I felt about you. But what he didn't understand at the time, was that as fucking remarkable as you were, still are, actually even more so now, we were never meant to be. Mark and I are meant to be. And I know that hurt you, and I'm so very, very sorry. But Brian, you must know by now that if we had stayed together, you would have wound up resenting me for holding you back and I would have felt like I was never enough for you. Time has proven that. You're a force of nature. You conquer, often mercilessly, everything you take on. You're a huge fucking success in everything you do, even, or more specifically, in being a father. I've never had children. God knows I've proven to be a lousy role model. I don't have many friends. I'm a mediocre writer who lives for the most part, like a recluse up in the mountains with my partner who expects nothing more from me than what I am. You're a bright shinning star Brian, who demands nothing less then the best from those around you. I could have never lived up to your expectations." Conrad said.

Brian turned to look at him. "How the fuck do you know so much about my life?" he asked.

Conrad smiled indulgently at him. "Did you honestly think I could have just ‘let' you go? You already figured out what the BK stood for in my pen name. It was my way of holding on to the ‘wild stallion' I briefly held in my hands at one time. I've followed your life through the years. I had to know I was right in letting you go. And I was," Conrad said.

Brian didn't know what to say to that. He was shocked to hear that Conrad gave him any thought after the day he walked out. But apparently the man was not as narcissistic as Brian had always believed. And it was nice, satisfying even, hearing after all these years what he always knew to be true come out of Conrad's mouth. ...they would have never worked in the long term. What Conrad did was cut the cord, allowing Brian to grow, though it didn't excuse the rotten way he did it. Brian was still angry about that. Conrad was right. He did expect more from those he cared for, and there was no denying he had cared for Conrad at one time. The man wasn't getting a free pass from him for acting like a total shit. Brian Kinney did NOT forgive easily. The only reason Conrad was now apologizing was because circumstances had put him in a position where he was pretty much forced to. If Brian never was asked to go looking for him, he would have never gotten this ‘too little, too late' mea culpa.

"Well that was very touching. I'm moved, aren't you moved Sunshine?" Brian bit out sarcastically.

Justin frowned and Gina, who was standing by listening with a pot of coffee in her hands, shook her head sadly.

"Bri..." Justin said, there was a bit of reproach in his voice. Brian shot him a dangerous look.

"So you weren't touched by that? Hmmm...Perhaps it's just me. I was always the sentimental type, wasn't I, Connie?" Brian said, again spitting out the nic mockingly.

Conrad paled, and tears actually pooled in his eyes. Well what did he expect? He thought. Forgiveness just because he made a point to know how Brian was doing after he ran out on him? He certainly didn't deserve it. He could have contacted him over the years, or written him a letter...anything to let him know how sorry he was. But no, he didn't. The only reason why he was telling him now was because of the circumstance. He knew Brian well enough to know he wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. So he decided to do the one thing he knew Brian would respect. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he straightened his shoulders and faced the man who was so different, yet still the same in many ways to the boy he was never able to forget.

"You ungrateful, arrogant prick," he said then turned to Gina.

"Sorry Ma'am, but I'm about to get vulgar at this point, I apologize in advance. Please feel free to throw me out," he said.

"Pssfft! I've heard it all honey. Go ahead, fire away. No other customers here right now. Have at it," she said.

Conrad nodded his head in appreciation and turned his attention back to Brian, who was now watching him with curious eyes that held a glint of respect in them Conrad notice. Feeling encouraged, he forged ahead.

"First let's make one thing clear. Yes, you were just fourteen. A fourteen year old Lolita!" Conrad yelled. Gina had to suppress a laugh. Justin didn't bother, he let out a hearty laugh and Brian raised his eyebrow in appreciation at Conrad's frankness.

Conrad continued. "You were fucking stalking me since you were 13! Ok, so I finally caved when you cornered me in the shower stall and blew me! But can you blame me? YOU WERE FUCKING HOT! And though you may have been a virgin, you were running the show from that day forward! YOU decided when, where and how we were going to have sex from that day forward! Am I getting this right Brian? Please, correct me if I'm not being accurate," Conrad said, his eyes blazing as he waited for Brian to respond. When he didn't, he continued.

"Ok, now that we're clear on that point, let's also be clear that YOU were NOT faithful to me!"

Gina coughed and Justin nearly spit his coffee out. Conrad was holding nothing back.

"Now wait..." Brian started.

Conrad held his hand up.... "I'm not blaming you. You were young, and it was a bet between you and Mikey. But it still counts. What? You didn't think I knew about that did you?" Conrad said with a knowing smirk as he saw the look of surprise on Brian's face. Conrad leaned over and spoke to Justin.

"He and his best friend Mikey made a bet that Ron Stiverson was gay. Brian swore he was, Mikey put money on it that he wasn't because he saw Ron and Caroline making out up at the creek. Turned out, Brian won that bet, didn't you Brian?" Conrad said turning his attention back to Brian. Brian actually smiled at him.

"Yes, I did," he simply said.

"You took that boy's virginity. I knew it, and I didn't say a word. You were young, and I was in no position to put any demands on you. But YOU didn't feel that way about me, did you? You were very sexually demanding and adventuresome. I would comply with every one of your fantasies, not that I'm complaining, and you perfected each new sexual act you wanted to try on ME! So....to repeat your own words, I'd be grateful if you would just say ‘Thank you', and stop making me feel guilty for leaving you!" Conrad said.

It got so quiet in the diner after Conrad's little tirade that you could hear a pin drop. Brian just stared at Conrad for a long moment before he broke that silence, and it came in the form of a full-blown hearty laugh. He slapped Conrad on the back in between guffaws.

"Now I remember why I liked you so much Coach. You had balls. Nice to see you still got them," he said.

Conrad let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, well, I'm glad you think so, but you and I both know everything I just said was bullshit. I mean, it's all true, you were the dominant one in our relationship, and you were the most arrogant independent little fuck I've ever met. But...I was still older, and should have handled the situation better. And, for what it's worth, I did love you. But you scared the shit out of me Brian, that's why I left. I knew that if I'd had confronted you and told you I was leaving, I would have ended up staying because I could never resist you. And that would have been the worse thing for both of us, but mostly for me. Yes, I was a coward, and selfish, but fuck you. I KNEW you would do well in life. You were always meant for greatness. I, on the other hand, had one chance of happiness come my way and I wasn't about to let you, or anyone get in my way. So am I sorry I hurt you, yeah...I am. More than you know. But am I sorry for leaving the way I did? No. I may have lost my one shot with Mark if I hadn't, and I'd be alone now...or worse," Conrad said.

Brian sobered up and looked at Conrad with new eyes. It was the most honest thing either man had ever said to each other and Brian felt he owed the man a bit of his own honesty.

"You were very special to me, Conrad. And not many people are very special to me, as I assume you know if you've been stalking me all these years," Brian said smiling in an attempt to add some levity to the situation. "And you're right. I would have stopped you from leaving me...first, because I did care for you, but second because I needed to know I could. My ego, as you so aptly stated, couldn't take losing to anyone. I took that loss and the lesson of it through me in life and I was hardened by it, but I can't totally blame you. As cliché as this may sound, it does take two, and I think we both benefited from that relationship. But in the end, like most things, there is a winner and a loser and if I had to be the loser, so be it. You had far more to lose than I did then," Brian said.

"So you forgive me?" Conrad asked.

Brian leaned over and gave the man a quick hug. "Nothing to forgive Conrad. All life experiences teach us something. I think we both learned our lessons," Brian said.

Gina sighed and pulled her apron up to wipe at her eyes. Justin pulled a napkin from the napkin holder and dabbed at his own eyes. Christina walked in at that moment carrying the two gallons of milk.

"Shoot! What did I mss?" she asked.

All three men turned to her and laughed. "Christina, come meet BK Hallen. I do believe you are a fan..." Brian said beckoning the girl over. Christina squealed, placed the milk cartons on the counter and practically attacked Conrad, giving him a huge hug before launching into a lengthy conversation, mostly one sided, of all the reasons for her utmost adoration of him and his books.

Brian pulled Justin up by his arm and walked them over the register where Gina was waiting for them.

"I told you breakfast was on me," she said.

"I know. Thanks. I want to pay for his breakfast. And if you can tell him to meet us at the hotel when he's finished, I'd appreciate it," Brian said.

"You boys leaving town?" she asked.

"Yeah, our business is done here. But we'll be back. Nice little town you got here Gina," Brian said.

Gina nodded her head. "We like it enough," she said.

Brian then pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it to Gina. "This is for his breakfast. What's left, give to Christina," he said.

Gina whistled low and long. "That's some tip," she said. "Especially since I'm the one that served you," she added impishly as she took the money from him.

Brian laughed. "Yeah, well some thing tells me she needs it more than you," Brian said winking at her.

"Yeah, and some thing tells me you got exactly what you needed," she sagely returned.

Brian looked over at Justin with dark emotion filled eyes. "Yeah, I did," he said. Justin's heart skipped several beats at the true meaning of Brian's words.

The next day 2 dozen roses arrived at the diner with a card that read.

"For the man who won the heart of the beautiful wise lady with the best coffee in town ....with great admiration, Brian and Justin."

Gina threw her head back and laughed heartily. She couldn't wait to give her husband his first bouquet, and most probably his last, of flowers sent to him by two very hot gay men.


	10. Chapter 10

“Daddy!” Gus’ adorable voice screeched into Brian’s ear.

Brian smiled over the phone as he stared at the layout of sketches scattered across his desk. “Hey Sonny boy, guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m back and I brought you a souvenir,” he said.

“What’s silver near?”

“It’s a gift you bring home as a memory of the place you just visited. I bought you a tee-shirt and cap that says ‘The Catskill Mountains’. They have pictures of the mountains on them.” Brian explained.

“Cool! Are you coming over today Daddy?” Gus asked.

“Not today Gus. I’ll come get you after Soccer practice on Wednesday and we can go to Chucky Cheese’s for dinner afterwards,” Brian said.

“Oh Wow! Mom! Daddy’s taking me to Chucky Cheeses after practice on Wednesday.”

Brian heard his son yell to his mother over the phone and cringed. He knew he was going to catch hell from Lins for not consulting with her first, but well, fuck it. He was a selfish prick when it came to his son.

“Daddy, Mom says it’s ok but she wants to talk to you,” Gus said.

“Ok Gus, I’ll see you Wednesday then,” Brian said.

“Cool!” ‘again with the cool’ Brian thought. It seemed to be Gus’ favorite word these days.

“Can Justin come too Daddy?” Gus asked suddenly throwing Brian off guard.

“I can ask him if you like. It’s up to you Sonny boy,” Brian answered cautiously. He didn’t want Gus to think he was obligated to ask just because Brian had brought Justin along on their trip to the museum. His son was old enough to know that Justin was special to him simply by the fact that besides family, and a few select friends, Brian NEVER brought a man around Gus. He was happy that Justin and his son got along so well, but he didn’t want to force the relationship. He wanted to make clear to his boy that he would always be number one in his heart and his life, a fact that would never change no matter if he was with someone or not.

“Could you Daddy please? Justin is sooo mega cool!” Gus screeched excitedly.

Brian laughed. “Ok, I’ll ask. Now put your Mother on the phone.”

“K, bye...love you!” Gus said.

“Love you too….”

 

“Brian?” Lindsey got on the phone. Her voice held a tinge of reproach in it.

Brian sighed. “Save it Lins, I know, I should have told you before making plans with my son but I just got back from assignment and wanted to see him. I didn’t think it would be a problem,” he said.

“That’s not the point…”

“Gee Lins, and you use to be such a smart girl. What part of ‘save it’, did you not understand?” Brian asked.

Lindsey let out an exasperated breath. “Ohhhh….! You know, you’re impossible! Ok, you can take him Wednesday, it’s not a problem. It would just be nice…”

 

“It would be nice if you could give me a break. So drop it, I have something I want to ask you,” Brian interrupted her not wanting to waste twenty fucking minutes of listening to her bemoan his disregard for the ‘parenting rules’. It was their rules, not his. They should know by now that he wasn’t going to conform to their wishes where his son was concerned. Contrary to the munchers beliefs, he perfectly understood the importance of his son having a stable routine in his life, however he was also very cognitive of the need for his son to have some spontaneity in his life as well.

They were like little fucking robots at the Peterson-Marcus household. He knew their schedule; it was a very rare occasion that anal retentive Mel would veer from their carefully orchestrated lives. And if they did, Lins always gave him a heads up way in advance. Which she hadn’t last time they spoke, so he knew this Wednesday would be no different than any other fucking Wednesday….Soccer practice after school, then home for dinner which would consist of meatloaf and mashed potatoes… they always had meatloaf and mashed potatoes on Wednesday nights, then in bed by eight for Gus, while the Munchers had their weekly scheduled sex. The way he looked at it; he was doing both his son and his moms a favor. Gus would be treated to a little unexpected adventure with his Dad, and Mel and Lins get a little extra muff diving time. Instead of Lins haranguing him, she should be thanking him.

Lindsey let out an exasperated sigh on the other end of the phone. “Fine. Consider it dropped, this time. Now what is it you want to ask me,” she relented.

“You remember Justin, right?” He asked.

“Of course, he dropped Gus off when you got called away on business the day you went to the museum. Gus adores him. He seemed really nice. Even Mel liked him,” Lindsey said.

“Arrghh fuck Lins! Now I have to rethink my relationship with him! If Mel likes him, there must be something wrong with him,” Brian quipped.

“Relationship?” Lindsey pressed.

Brian groaned. “Easy girl. Get those Lesbian visions of African Lilies and matching Vera Wangs out of your head. We’re dating, that’s all,” he said.

“Dating! Brian you NEVER date! How long have we known each other? Ten years? In all that time I’ve NEVER known you to date! When did you start dating Justin? And how could I have not known! I mean I know you liked him enough, after all you took him with you and Gus to the museum, and you even trusted him to bring Gus home afterwards when you got called away, but I figured it was because he was Agnes’s cousin, and he was working for you. I never imagined you were actually dating him!” Lindsey rambled on excitedly.

Brian mentally cursed. He should have expected this. Once people found out he, Brian Kinney, stud of Liberty Avenue, was actually dating someone, there was bound to be talk and speculation. He sighed in resignation knowing he might as well start getting use to it.

“Calm the fuck down Lins. It’s not the apocalypse; you don’t see four Henchmen do you? But if you do happen to see them, send them my way, I hear they’re one hell of a ride…however, barring some momentous occurrence of those proportions there’s no need for you to get alarmed just because I’m fucking someone more than once. I only call it ‘dating’ so that dickless fags and dykes like you can fit it into your conformist vocabulary. Plus, it will be easier to explain to Gus, and let’s face it, that’s all I really give a fuck about anyway,” Brian said.

Lindsey laughed on the other end of the phone. Brian wasn’t expecting that reaction.

“You are so full of shit Brian Kinney. You absolutely give a shit about your family, which of course is uniquely defined by your own standards,” she said.

Brian grunted in response. “Can we get back to what I wanted to ask you?” he asked.

“Sure, sorry, I just got carried away. It’s very exciting you know,” Lindsey said. Brian could hear the joy in her voice as if it was she who was fucking him on a regular basis and rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, Justin is an artist, though he wouldn’t describe himself as such. But I’m telling you Lins, he’s very talented. I’m looking at some of the sketches he did while we were away and they’re fucking amazing. I want you to take a look at them. You’re the expert with this shit. Maybe ask Sydney to take a look at them. I think he’s got real talent Lins, but I’d like a professional opinion,” Brian said.

He knew he was going to catch hell from Justin for taking the sketches from his backpack without his permission when he left his place this morning, but he just couldn’t help himself. They had dropped Conrad off at the hospital late last night; more like shoved his ass out the car door at the front entrance, then took off back to Justin’s place where Brian had crashed. He got up early, careful not to wake Justin, intending to go back to his loft to clean up for work when he spotted Justin’s backpack on the floor on his way out. The zipper was half open and his sketch pad was sticking out. Justin wouldn’t let him see any of the drawings he was working on while they were away and Brian was curious as shit. He knew some of the sketches were of him; it was probably why Justin wouldn’t let him see them, so he pulled the pad out and high tailed it out of there, taking just enough time to leave him a note saying he went home to change and that he’d see him later at the office before he left.

He hadn’t had a chance to look at the drawings until he got into work. They were so intimate, so….reflective. Is that how he sees me? he thought looking at one particular image. It was of him sleeping…he looked unguarded, beautiful even, yet not conventionally beautiful, it was more of an innocent beauty. Pure. Brian had to laugh, ‘pure’ was not an adjective he would ever ascribe to himself, yet that was the first impression he got upon looking at the sketch of himself. Brian knew he had the looks most men and women salivated over… sexy, hot, alluring…but he never thought himself beautiful no less innocently beautiful. Yet that was exactly how Justin had depicted him in his drawing. The likeness, his likeness, was almost reverent in nature…as if Justin considered him his own personal ‘David’. The thought both frightened and excited Brian in a way that was unfamiliar to him. He didn’t know what to think of it.

The truth was being with Justin was confusing as fuck, but in a positive life affirming way. Half the time he was confounded by him, the other half he was lusting after him. Hell who was he kidding, he was always lusting after him. Even when he was infuriated with him he wanted to fuck the shit out of him. Their relationship was one big fucking rollercoaster ride. It was wild and rough, filled with highs and lows, and each time he was tempted to throw his hands up in the air and just get off and go back to his ‘simpler’ way of life, a time before one blond hurricane stormed into his world, that ‘blond’ would cast him a smile, or a look, and all reason left him. If Brian were honest with himself, and he always tried to be exceedingly so, he’d have to acknowledge that he never felt more exhilarated than when he was with his blond.

Justin was a free spirit, wild, unpredictable, and unafraid to grab life by the balls. He was fearless in ways Brian didn’t know if he were capable of, yet he desperately wanted to find out. It was another reason why Brian had dubbed him his ‘Sunshine’. He was a beacon, a shinning light beckoning Brian to follow him into his insanity and fuck all if Brian wasn’t sorely tempted to do just that.

“I would love to take a look at them! If he’s as talented as you say, I’m sure Sydney will want to showcase him in our upcoming emerging artist exhibit,” Lindsey said breaking into Brian’s thoughts.

“Great. But first I need to get him to agree Lins, so let’s keep this between us for now,” Brian said.

“Ok, just let me know when you get his permission,” Lindsey said.

 

“I will, thanks. Give my boy a hug for me.” Brian said before ending the call.

He turned his attention back to the drawings before him. He was so engrossed in them that he did not hear his door open. In a flash all the sketches were being swept up from his desk startling him.

“Jus…” Brian started as he gazed up at one very pissed off blond who was glaring down at him, arms filled with the charcoal drawings.

“Shut the fuck up Brian! I can’t believe you did this!” He said in a voice that trembled with emotion.

Brian stood from behind his desk cautiously. He never saw Justin this angry, and it wasn’t the ‘good’ anger that usually got his dick hard. This was a ‘hurt’ anger and Brian immediately felt contrite for causing that wounded, as if he’d been betrayed look, in his blonds’ eyes.

“Sunshine…” he said in a much softer, conciliatory voice.

Justin shook his head violently. “No Brian…Don’t. These were personal. You had no right….”

“Oh, so I have no right to look at them, but you have every right to draw me without my permission?” Brian countered having made the decision to defend his ‘right’; rather than try to apologize for something he wasn’t sorry for in the least. In fact, he was secretly pleased and honored that Justin found him a worthy subject to draw.

“Don’t you dare turn this on me! You took these without my permission!” Justin practically yelled at him, crushing the drawings to his chest as if protecting them.

Brian folded his arms across his chest and pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he studied his blonde. Justin was being very protective of his sketches…or was he protecting something else he wondered.

“What are you really upset about?” he asked.

Justin gaped at him. “Are you fucking serious? You took my drawings without my permission! That’s an invasion of my privacy,” he said.

“And you drew me without my permission or knowledge. While I was sleeping! Talk about an invasion of privacy. Yet you don’t see me freaking out. So let’s cut the bullshit and the dramatics. Instead why don’t you just tell me what you’re really pissed about? You can’t possibly think they’re not good enough for anyone to see. They’re fucking amazing Justin. So amazing, I think you should have a professional look at them. You’re very talented,” Brian said.

A bit of the anger left Justin’s eyes and Brian sighed inwardly in relief.

“Thank you. I’m glad you think I’m talented but I never meant for you, or anyone to see them,” Justin said lowering his eyes and his voice.

Brian was puzzled. “But why?” he asked.

Justin turned away from him shyly and shrugged his shoulders. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter,” he said.

Brian stepped around from his desk and approached Justin. He reached out and put his hand on his shoulder, turning him around to face him. Justin couldn’t meet his eyes. Brian was momentarily at a loss for words. It was so out of character for Justin to be acting this way with him. He seemed uneasy, embarrassed….

Fuck! That’s it, Brian realized. Justin was embarrassed to have Brian see how he felt about him. And there was no mistaking the emotion etched into each of the images of him. Justin poured his heart out onto those pages and the last thing he wanted was for Brian to see them knowing, or more accurately, believing how Brian felt about such sentimentalities. He couldn’t blame him. Normally he’d recoil from such a display of affection, however this was Justin. There was nothing ‘normal’ about him, or their relationship. Knowing his blond held him in such high regard not only inflated Brian’s ego, it inflated his heart with emotions he long thought dead. He pulled Justin to him and rested his chin on top of his head. Justin pressed against him, his arms still clasping the drawings to his chest.

“Does it bother you that I call you Sunshine?” he asked

Justin lifted his head up abruptly, bumping Brian’s chin in the process and stepped back from him.

“No!” he protested sharply; his eyes wide with surprise at the question.

“Good. Cause I like calling you Sunshine. And do you know why I call you Sunshine?” Brian asked.

Justin shook his head, “No,” he answered wary of where Brian was going with this.

“Because I can’t draw,” he said.

Justin blinked twice before the implication of Brian’s words hit him, when they did he smiled the brightest of Sunshine smiles he’d smiled to date and flung his drawings up into the air right before throwing himself into Brian’s arms.

“Oomph!” Brian grunted as he caught his blond. Justin wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him hard, pushing his tongue past Brian’s lips and into his mouth. Brian moaned in response as he grabbed a fist full of blond locks and tilted Justin’s head to the side to better ravage his mouth. The kiss was hot and forceful and lasted until the incessant buzzing from his intercom finally managed to break through their passionate haze.

Brian pulled away panting and cursed. “Hold that thought,” he said then went to answer the annoying call.

“What!” Brian snapped into the com.

“Um, sorry Boss, but it’s almost time for the morning meeting. I thought you might want a heads up,” Agnes said, her voice sounding nervous over the speaker.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, while he held the intercom button down with his other hand and sighed.

“Thanks Aggy. Tell everyone I’ll be ready in ten,” he said then released the button. He turned to Justin who was busy picking up his discarded sketches that were now strewn all over the office. Brian went to help him.

“I was serious when I said you should have someone look at these,” he said as he picked up the last of the drawings.

Justin turned to look at him. “And I was serious when I said these were personal,” he returned, only the anger was now gone from his tone, replaced by a softness that made Brian smile. He reached out and brushed back a loose strand of blond hair that had fallen over Justin’s eye.

“The best art always is,” he said, “and truth be told, I wouldn’t mind having others see me like this,” he said with a smirk as he held up the drawing of him sleeping. He was naked in the picture, his cock lying over his thigh. His blond had taken liberties in his interpretation of it’s size. The damn thing nearly hung to the floor! It was a bit ‘ambitious’, though Brian didn’t mind. He knew he was blessed in that department, and took full advantage of it. Being King Stud of Liberty Avenue took skill, but having the equipment to back up that skill didn’t hurt.

“Brian!” Justin interrupted his thoughts as he snatched the sketch from him laughing. “I don’t think your ego, nor your cock, needs the stroking both are sure to get if anyone sees this!” he said.

“Well then you shouldn’t have drawn me so large. I’m big Sunshine, but that cock has to be at least a foot long!” Brian said.

Justin studied his drawing for a moment then smiled seductively at Brian. “That’s a bit of an exaggeration; however I see your point. Still…an artist is entitled to take certain liberties with his art,” he said saucily.

Brian reached out and pulled him up against his chest. “And I’ve a few liberties I like to take with you right now…”

‘Knock, knock’

Brian cursed. “One minute!” He shouted over Justin’s shoulder then turned his attention back to his blonde.

“We’ll continue this discussion later,” he said then gave him a quick kiss before releasing him to open the door. Justin gathered his drawings and went behind Brian’s desk. He pulled open his file drawer and placed the drawings inside before hastily shutting it.

Several smiling faces stood before Brian. “Where’s the glass?” he asked.

The smiles faded to be replaced with curious frowns. “What glass?” Cynthia spoke for the group.

“The one you were holding up against the door to better eavesdrop with,” Brian returned.

Cynthia made a ‘Pssfting’ sound and pushed past him into the office. The other employees followed.

“Really Brian, as if we’re the least bit interested in your personal life,” she admonished, then turned to Justin. “Good morning Justin,” she said in a cherry voice as she started arranging chairs in front of Brian’s desk to form a semi-circle. Lucas, Ted and Emmett helped, yet kept silent.

Brian raised a brow at her. Something was off here. It was no secret that he had a rep for fucking new employees, and he and Justin had been spending a lot of time together over the past month. They’d have to be blind to not see that they were fucking. Normally, his staff would be ribbing him about his penchant for sexual romps in his office with the hot new guy, but they were being uncharacteristically silent on the matter. And he knew it wasn’t because Justin was right there; they’ve never had an issue with teasing the new guy as well in the past. However, that kind of behavior apparently was no longer considered acceptable. Each of his employees was showing deference to his blond as if such talk was taboo in front of the ‘boyfriend’. Brian wanted to scream. Though he shouldn’t be surprised at how quickly word had gotten out that he was dating Justin. Fucking family grapevine spread like fire when it came to him. Lins probably called Agnes the moment he hung up with her, who then proceeded to fill everyone else in on his and Justin’s new arrangement. He inwardly groaned. This is why he DID NOT do relationships! They complicated everything. He couldn’t just fuck a guy more than once without it throwing his whole fucking social circle off kilter. It pissed him off to no extent.

“What? No snarky comments about me fucking the help today Cyn?” Brian asked snidely.

Everyone, except Lucas, gasped and turned sympathetic eyes to Justin. Brian didn’t think he could be more infuriated. He was about to tell them to all go fuck themselves, that Justin didn’t need their fucking sympathy and he didn’t need to be treated like a eunuch just because he was ‘dating’ someone, when he heard an outraged cry come from his blond. He turned to look at him and knew instantly Justin was up to mischief.

“The Help!? Is that how you think of me?” Justin asked giving him an exaggerated ‘hurt’ puppy look that would have put Mikey’s to shame. Brian shot him a warning glance, which of course Justin ignored.

“You told me I was different from all the thousands…” Brian’s glare turned into a dubious rise of his eyebrow. “Ok, maybe more like hundreds,” Justin corrected, “of other men you fucked over that desk,” he said then paused to look longingly at said desk as if he were gazing upon a religious alter of sorts.

“And to think I’ve given you the best days, um minutes, of my life on that very desk,” he said then in a dramatic gesture worthy of an Oscar, flopped down into a chair next to Emmett and placed a hand and over his forehead.

“I guess now you’ll fire me too, just like all the others,” he opined letting out a long contrived sorrowful sigh.

Brian had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. His blond was having sport with him, and taking much pleasure from it. Brian mentally listed all the ways he was going to make him pay for it later. Most of which were sexual in nature….Emmett however, being prone to big queen out moments himself, didn’t realize Justin was fucking with him.

“Oh no honey, Brian wouldn’t dare fire you!” he blurted out placing a sympathetic hand on Justin’s shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up Honeycutt, of course I’m not going to fire Justin. He’s too fucking good,” he said.

“The question is where. In bed or in the field,” Cynthia muttered under her breath having caught on immediately to Justin’s ploy, much to Brian’s pleasure. Now things were getting back to normal.

“Both if you must know little Miss Hypocrite who’s been secretly fucking the new guy herself,” Brian returned happy to be bantering with his long time friend, and employee. He and Cynthia had a special relationship that he didn’t want marred by either’s peccadillo’s.

Cynthia started to stutter her denial while Lucas turned a bright shade of red.

“Please, there’s nothing secret about it. If they’re not screaming at each other, they’re rutting like animals in her office. It’s downright scary the noises coming out of her office. It’s gotten so bad most of us have taken to wearing earplugs,” Emmett groused. Cynthia turned hostile eyes on him.

“Why you pretentious queen! We are NOT that loud! You’re just jealous because ‘Drewsie’ hasn’t returned your calls in two days. Serves you right. That’s what you get for fucking the client!” she growled at him.

“Jesus, am I the only one who doesn’t fuck while on the job?” Ted chimed in.

“You don’t fuck off the job either Theodore,” Brian teased.

Ted shot Brian an indignant look.

Shane jumped to Ted’s defense. “I’m sure Ted has plenty of sex off the job, he’s just very discreet, like me. I don’t fuck on the job either. I make sure any relationships I have are kept on the down low,” she said with some pride, which Brian was all too happy to dispense of.

“Really? So you wouldn’t consider your ‘discreet’ romance with Hunter fucking ‘on the job’?” he inquired knowingly.

Shane shot forward in her chair, surprise written all over her face, “How the fuck did you know?” she asked.

“I’m good at what I do, that’s how,” Brian said.

Justin made a choking sound in the back of his throat and sat back up in his chair. “Um yeah, I can attest to that. He’s very good,” he said with a sly grin. Everyone in the room groaned, including Brian.

“Hunter? Who the hell is Hunter! And why don’t I know about him? Come on girl, dish,” Emmett leaned over towards her, eyes gleaming with curiosity.

“Can we get down to business already? I think we’ve had enough discussion about everyone’s sex life for the time being, unless you want to call Aggy in and have her give us a full report on her budding romance with Stan,” Brian said wanting to avert the conversation away from Shane’s secret affair with one of the hustlers she met while undercover on the Kempt case.

He should have never mentioned it but he wanted to impress upon her that she was not as discreet as she would like to believe. She needed to be more careful in the future. Not that he disapproved of what she was doing, it was her business, not his, but she did work for him and he wanted all his employees to be extra cautious when it came to clandestine affairs, be they work related, or not.

“His name is Stephen, and they’re doing fabulously,” Emmett said turning his attention away from Shane.

“Yeah, fucking boring as hell,” Shane said, grateful her boss didn’t elaborate on her affair with Hunter. She knew it was stupid to get involved with a hustler. Stupid and dangerous, but she was involved with him and she didn’t need shit from her friends about it.

“Ok, boys and girls, enough. Play time is over. I want updates on all open files,” Brian said settling in behind his desk.

The next hour was spent going over each case. Brian was pleased to hear his staff had things well in hand during his absence. Emmett and Shane had successfully wrapped up their cases, and Cynthia and Lucas were making great headway with their investigations. Soon, he thought, he’d be able to hand over the business to Ted and Cynthia. He was getting tired of PI work…tired and bored. After this next case, the one at the High School, he intended to retire and start a new business. He wondered, more liked hoped, if Justin would like to join him in a new venture. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do next, but he knew one thing, he wanted his blond to be part of it.

The thought of Justin going back to his old job in New York did not sit well with him. They hadn’t talked about the future which was fine with Brian. He wouldn’t know where to begin having that kind of conversation, nor was he sure he wanted to. But he was sure he wanted his blond around for as long as possible. Starting a new venture together seemed like a perfect way to meet that goal.

“Nice work guys. So that leaves us with the High School case. Where are we with that?” Brian asked forging forward.

 

“Lucas and I decided to do some preliminary work while you were gone and took a ride up there. We snooped around a bit, talked to some people, unofficially of course. What we found out is very disturbing Brian. This case is more serious than we first anticipated. There’s a gang of kids that are terrorizing that school and the violence is escalating. The teachers are terrified of these kids. There have been threats and acts of vandalism to their property. No one is talking on the record, but off the record they told us they believe that more students are being raped and tortured in the school then are being reported. To date there’s only been 3 reported incidents of gang attacks, and those student’s families moved out of the community. The ring leader goes by the name Cujo. His real name is Charles Barker. His father is an active member of the Arian nation. His mother is dead, supposedly killed herself after her husband found out she was fucking around with a black man. There was no evidence to suggest otherwise, but plenty of suspicions. The cops up there in that small town are amateurish at best. I don’t think they have one clue as to how to handle a hate crime. For some of them, there is the attitude that it’s just ‘boys being boys’. To others, it’s much more serious and frustrating that they can’t stop it. The Captain wanted to call the Feds in, but none of the victims will testify and unless there’s a hate related homicide, they won’t touch it. So far, all incidents have been limited to the High School, and no one’s been killed. Yet. The gay community pretty much keeps to themselves in that town but the gay kids don’t have that option; they have to attend school with the homophobes. They use the same lunchroom, gym…well, you get the picture. The school has taken to putting in metal detectors, not because of anything that’s happen, but because they feel it’s only going to get worse and they don’t know how to stop it. Parent groups have been trying to do this outreach program for the gay kids but with no success. No one would dare come out as gay at this point. The whole place is a powder keg waiting to blow, Brian. This Cujo character has at least a dozen kids who follow him. They literally run the school.” Cynthia gave her full report, the whole time everyone was listening with rapt attention.

“Well, now we know the situation, what’s the plan?” Brian asked.

“Last we talked, it was decided that Justin and I would go undercover as gay students, and you would go undercover as a teacher,” Shane said.

Brian leaned back in his chair and bit his lip in concentration. “I think Justin should go in as a straight student. A transfer from juvi, with serious homophonic tendencies. This way he’ll have a better chance at infiltrating the gang. They’ll think he’s tough…cool and more importantly they’ll think he shares their view.”

“And it doesn’t hurt that he’s hot too. He’ll be very popular,” Emmett added. Brian threw him a warning glance.

“You know for a queen you got more testosterones floating around in your head, and dick, than most straight guys! Focus Honeycutt…” Brian said.

“Ok, ok! Geesh…I got it. Justin’s goes in as the new kid, transferred from Juvi,” Emmett said all business now.

Brian nodded his head, satisfied he had everyone’s attention.

“Shane, I want you to be the ‘goth’ kid from Philly. Keep a low profile but be just weird enough to draw some attention; make friends with the gay kids. You’ll know who they are. Whether they’re gay or not they’ll be marked as such just for being different,” Brian huffed out a bitter laugh, “That’s high school for you boys and girls, nothing but good times…” he said.

“According to Michael you had a great time in High school. No one dared fuck with the star soccer player, plus you were the coach’s pet,” Emmett said.

 

Justin turned anxious eyes to Brian. None of Brian’s friends or family, except for Mikey, was aware of Brian’s affair with his coach. Though Emmett’s statement was innocent enough, Justin wondered, especially after his ‘reunion’ with his ex flame, how Brian would react to Emmett’s comment. He didn’t have long to wonder.

 

“That’s because I was fucking the coach,” Brian said astonishing himself at the ease in which he made that little fact known. For years he kept it a secret, not wanting anyone to know of his ‘weakness’, but now apparently, he no longer entertained those feelings. Meeting up with Conrad after all these years certainly did a lot to squelch the lingering resentment he had over the whole affair, but in truth it was Justin who was the real reason Brian wasn’t still harboring any unresolved feelings over the man and that was because he was too preoccupied with developing new ones for his blond.

 

“No fucking way!” Several people in the room voiced the same sentiment. Brian smiled.

“And we’re surprised….why?” he asked with a smirk.

“Brian Kinney you are totally the coolest man I know,” Emmett said with his own smirk.

Brian laughed. “That’s not saying much since every man you associate with is either a flaming queen like yourself or a nerd, which by the way, is precisely how I am going to portray myself. I’m going undercover as the new Chemistry teacher. Shy, clumsy…a total geek,” Brian said.

“You are geek? Ha! Now that I’d like to see. And what the fuck do you know about Chemistry?” Cynthia asked.

“I’ll have you know I did very well in Chem class. Ask Mikey. It was in Chem class that I concocted that stink bomb that forced the school to shut down for three days because they couldn’t get the smell out of the building. Now that was cool. I was pretty much a God for the rest of that year for that pulling off that little prank,” Brian boasted.

“Maybe you should go in as the Juvi delinquent,” Justin said.

“I would, if I could pass for a high school student, but I can’t. You however, are blessed with that youthful appearance. You could do 18, 17 easy, and more importantly, you’re trained for combat. You can hold your own against those kids, though you’ll be watched constantly and you’ll be packing. Plus I’m going to be hiring some outside help on this one for security. It’s obvious the local authorities are ill equipped. I want that school foot patrolled by our people. Cynthia, you and Ted take care of setting up surveillance. I want monitors in every nook and cranny of that building, even the bathrooms. I want it on tape every time someone takes a piss, got it? And I want Lucas in the school as well, as the janitor,” Brian said turning his attention to Lucas, “Get in with the other janitors, they know everything that goes on in the building, plus you’ll have access to all the lockers. I want bugs in each kid associated with this gang’s locker. And I don’t want anyone to know what we’re doing. No warrants needed, understand? I don’t want the cops or the teacher in on this. We consult with no one, are we clear?” Brian asked looking around the room for confirmation. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. They all understood that if the authorities couldn’t handle the job, it was possible that the reason why was because someone was on the inside helping the kids out…getting rid of evidence, turning a blind eye perhaps. Right now there was no proof of that, but there was also no proof of it not being the case. They would trust no one on this case.

“Good,” Brian said. “Now if there are no other questions, I’ll get the ball rolling. Cyn, what was the name of that Captain who called you for help?” he asked.

“Reiss,” she answered.

“I’ll give him a call and set things up. We’ll have to trust someone to get an in, and he’s our best choice, since he called us. I have a feeling he might have the same suspicions as we do about his own department. It’s probably why he called outside P.I.’s for help instead of keeping it in house,” Brian said.

“I think you’re right, Lucas and I got the same impression when we went up there to talk to him. And I think we can trust the principal too. Her job is on the line because of what’s been happening. She can get you and Lucas in as new hires. They’ve recently had some staff quit because they’re scared to work there,” Cynthia said.

“Ok then, it’s settled. Unless there’s anything else, let’s get to work. I want this operation set up by the end of the week. Lucas, I want you to be the first in. I’ll get you hired by Friday so you can work this weekend on bugging the lockers. Come Monday morning,” Brian paused to look down at the file lying on his desk, “Beaver Butler High…God what an awful name…will have four new attendees, me, aka, Mr. Carter, the new Chem teacher, a transfer student from Juvi who goes by the name,” Brian looked over at Justin and raised his brow in question. Justin scrunched his face up in thought for a moment. “How about Jake. Jake…Miller,” Justin suggested.

Brian nodded his head in approval. “That works, Shane, you will remain Shane. Just Shane, no last name. It’s weird enough to attract attention,” Brian said.

“Excuse me? Weird?” Shane asked indignantly.

Brian rolled his eyes. “It’s a cool name Shane, don’t get your feathers ruffled, but not having a last name will pique interest from these kids. And that’s what we want,” Brian explained then turned to Lucas.

“Lucas, keep it simple, very simple as in I want you to portray yourself as being borderline mentally challenged. I don’t want you to present any kind of threat to anyone. Keep a very low profile. Even your name should be low profile, something like…Lennie Small,” Brian said.

“As in Lennie the big retarded guy from Of Mice and Men?” he asked.

“Exactly. We can’t have our highly educated, affluent resident lawyer, Mr. Lucas Beauregard Manchester the third, applying for a janitors position at the local high school, now can we?” Brian asked tongue in cheek.

Lucas laughed. “I suppose not. But for the record I can’t practice law, as of yet. I’ve been disbarred, as you know, but I’m working on getting my license reinstated. I’ve found a loop hole in the law,” Lucas said.

“I’m not surprised. It’s what you do best,” Brian said, his words meant as a compliment.

“Well, for this case, what I’ll be doing best, is acting the part. I want to get these kids, before they end up killing someone,” Lucas said in a serious tone.

“Agreed. If we all do our parts, we’ll be able to stop them and bring them to justice. Now if there aren’t any more questions…” Brian said but was interrupted by Emmett’s loud clearing of his throat. He turned to look at him.

“Um, aren’t you forgetting something?” Emmett asked.

“What?” Brian inquired.

“Moi! What’s my role?” Emmett asked pouting.

Brian rolled his eyes. I need someone here watching the place. You and Aggy will hold down the fort. If there’s a problem, you contact Cynthia or Ted since they’ll be working on the outside monitoring. I don’t want any one of us on the inside contacted, it might blow our cover,” Brian said.

Emmett sighed in disappointment but agreed.

“Let’s all be careful on this one, very careful. I don’t want anyone making the mistake of confusing these punks for ‘kids’. They’re dangerous criminals committing hate crimes. Don’t ever forget that. And on that note, meeting’s over,” Brian said.

Everyone got up and filed out of the office, except for Justin. He approached Brian with a frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, surprising himself at how well he’d come to know the man.

Brian leaned back in his chair and rubbed his forehead. “I got a bad feeling about this case,” he said.

Justin went over behind his chair and started rubbing his neck muscles. “You’ve got a great staff Bri, you know this. We’re all well trained and know how to take care of ourselves. And you’ve taken extra precautions to protect us, leaving nothing to chance. So stop worrying. Everything will be fine,” he tried to reassure Brian.

“Yeah…you’re probably right,” Brian said. “Just,” he started to say but let his thought trail off.

Justin stopped rubbing his neck and leaned over to place a soft kiss behind his ear. “Just what?” he whispered softly against his lobe.

Brian reached up behind him and ran his fingers through Justin’s hair, “Promise me you’ll be extra careful,” he said.

“I promise,” Justin answered without hesitation.

Brian relaxed a bit knowing his blond would make good on his vow, still…he couldn’t shake this feeling that trouble, big trouble lay ahead for them at that school…

 

Part 2

 

Four days later Brian was at the café getting his morning double espresso, soy milk, mocha Latte when he got a call from Justin.

“Hey,” he said flipping open his cell, a huge smile spreading across his face. His body was still humming from the amazing blowjob his blonde gave him in the shower that morning before running off on some ‘mysterious’ errand.

“I’ll be a little late to work. I’ve still a few things to do,” he said.

“Hmmm…Any of those ‘things’ involve a salacious act with some hot guy?” Brian teased. Though neither of them, as far as Brian knew, was fucking anyone else, it was an unspoken agreement between them that both were free to do so if they chose. Brian was hoping Justin wouldn’t make that choice.

“I’ve already had a ‘salacious’ act with a very, very hot guy this morning,” Justin purred into the phone.

That purr went straight to Brian’s dick.

“Your Latte is ready Mr. Kinney,” Tina the waitress said holding out the cup to him.

“Thanks Tina,” Brian said reaching into his pocket to pay with his free hand.

“Here, I got it,” a male’s voice from behind said, followed by a familiar arm reaching past him with a ten dollar bill clasped in its’ hand.

“I hope he’s hot at least. Buying you coffee deserves at least a once over,” Justin said having heard the exchange over on his end of the phone.

Brian could hear the annoyance behind the light teasing in Justin’s voice. Though his blonde tried valiantly to cover it up, Brian was too on to him, and he was secretly pleased that his blonde was annoyed that some guy was offering to buy him coffee. He turned to look at said guy before answering Justin and laughed.

“Well if I say he isn’t hot, he won’t talk to me for a month. It’s Mikey,” Brian said smiling at his friend.

Justin’s voice got softer on the other end. “Oh…tell him I said hi,” he said.

Though he and Michael still weren’t ‘best of buddies’, they were forging a grudging respect for each other. He knew Michael still didn’t trust him with his best friend; afraid Justin was going to hurt him, and for his part, he felt ‘Mikey’ had an unhealthy attachment to Brian. But they had one thing in common. They both cared deeply for Brian. So each was working on getting along.

“You got it Sunshine. See you later,” Brian said.

“Later.”

Brian snapped his cell shut and turned to his best friend, that huge smile still lingering on his face.

“Wow, I haven’t seen you look that happy since…” Michael cut himself off.

Brian laughed. “Since when? Conrad? It’s ok Mikey, we can say the ‘C’ word now,” Brian teased in a conspiratorial voice.

Michael tilted his head and furrowed his brow. “Mind if we talk for a bit?” he asked.

Brian sighed. “Is this necessary? I need to get to work. We’re starting a big case next week,” he said.

“Yeah, I heard. I also heard Mark came to see you. Why didn’t you tell me?” Michael said and there was no mistaking the hurt in his voice.

“Who the fuck told you?” Brian asked.

“In case you’ve forgotten, my mom is dating Horvath,” Michael said.

Brian cursed and took a sip of his Latte. He then headed over to the small table at the back of the cafe.

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to do this,” Brian said taking a seat at the table. Michael pulled a chair out and sat across from him.

“Didn’t want to do what?” he asked.

“This. Getting the third degree on ‘how I felt’ seeing my ex’s boyfriend after all these years. In truth, I wasn’t even going to talk to him, but Justin made me,” Brian said.

“Justin made you? Since when does anyone make Brian fucking Kinney do anything?” Michael challenged.

Brian sighed exasperatedly. “He didn’t exactly make me, but he would have gone to talk to Mark on his own if I didn’t, and I was not about to let that happen so I went to talk to the man myself,” he said

Michael made a disapproving face. “He had no right to go against your wishes and go talk to Mark. What did Mark want anyway?” Michael asked.

Brian put his coffee down on the table and faced his best friend.

“First, what rights Justin has or doesn’t have when it concerns me, is none of your business. And second, Mark wanted me to find Conrad. The man had gotten himself lost, and I found him. I brought him back to Mark, end of story,” he said.

Michael couldn’t have looked more shocked if Brian had told him he suddenly liked pussy.

“Wait, are you telling me that Mark had the nerve to ask you to go find his lover! The one he stole from you?! Jesus fucking Christ! Why the fuck would you agree to do that for him? After all they did to you! Oh wait, don’t tell me…did Justin make you do that too?” Michael said with a little too much venom in his voice for Brian’s liking.

“Jesus Mikey, when did you turn into such a cunty fag? What exactly is it you don’t like about Justin?” Brian asked.

Michael had the good sense to look embarrassed. “It’s not that I don’t like him…”

“Bullshit. You don’t like him and I want to know why,” Brian said again, this time there was steel determination in his voice. He wanted an answer.

Michael’s face turned red, he leaned over and gritted out between clenched teeth, “Because as bad as it was with Conrad, it’ll be worse with this kid! He’s cocky and arrogant and has the power to do to you what Conrad could never do,” Michael said.

“Oh? And what is it you think he can do to me?” Brian asked.

“Break your heart. Conrad hurt you, well, more like he hurt your pride. He bruised your ego but he never broke your heart Brian. Though for you it was akin to breaking your heart but you never really loved him. Love overrides pride, ego, and all that superficial shit. That’s how I know you didn’t love Conrad. You never even entertained the thought of trying to win him back. You had too much pride, something you value above all else, yet you’re quick to swallow that pride for Justin,” Michael said.

Brian gaped at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked.

“Mark? Going to find Conrad? You would have never done that before Justin came into your life. You would have told Mark to go fuck himself, especially after the way he treated you in high school. You never forgave him. Your pride wouldn’t have let you,” Michael said and Brian wondered if it was Michael who never forgave Conrad.

 

“Mikey…what’s past is past, we’re not in high school anymore. You might be right; if it weren’t for Justin I may never have consented to helping Mark, but is that a bad thing? Because of Justin’s persistence, I found Conrad and was able to have closure with him. I’ve forgiven him Mikey, why can’t you?” Brian asked reaching over to grab his friends’ hand.

Michael turned his head away, trying to hide the tears that were forming.

“Because he took you away from me. We were so close before you and Conrad got together. Then, it was like you abandoned me,” Michael said still unable to look at Brian.

Pain sliced through Brian’s heart because he knew Mikey was right. All through high school he was too obsessed with his ‘coach’ to pay much attention to his best friend, yet when the shit hit the fan and he was left standing alone, it was Mikey who came and picked up the pieces for him.

“Mikey, listen to me. Are you listening?” Brian said pulling on Michaels hands so he had to turn to face him.

Michael looked at him, blinking away tears. “Yeah, I’m listening.”

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because sorry’s bullshit, but I will say thank you. Thank you for being the best friend a guy could ever have. You’re right, I was shitty to you when I was with Conrad, and I’ve no excuse other than like always, I let my dick do my thinking,” Brian paused to smile at this best friend. Michael let out a little laugh.

“Yeah, well, I think we’re all guilty of that from time to time,” Michael said.

“True, some more guilty than others. But I want you to know something…My relationship with Justin is nothing like my relationship with Conrad was. I’m not that young or stupid anymore. Justin is not going to come between us, I won’t let that happen. The truth is, Conrad never got between us either; that was my doing. He actually encouraged me to hang with kids my own age, but you know me. Stubborn as fuck. My ‘pride’, as you so eloquently put it, got in the way of my relationship with Conrad and my ability to forgive him all these years. But I finally let it go and I forgave him. And you need to forgive him too. I know I was a mess when Conrad left me, and I know that it hurt you to see me that way. You were my rock back then, still are. You’re like a fucking pit bull when it comes to protecting me, and I love you for it, but Mikey, there are some things you can’t protect me from. Nor, should you. This is my life. And just like I support your decision to be with a man who is HIV positive, even though my stomach churns every time I think about how dangerous your situation is, both emotionally, and God forbid physically should there be an accident….” Brian paused as the words stuck in his throat. He just couldn’t think of his friend getting infected. He took a deep breath and continued.

“My point is, we can’t control each other’s life; all we can do is be supportive of each others’ decisions. Whether we agree with them or not. Is Justin going to hurt me? Maybe, I don’t know, but what I do know is that caring for someone isn’t supposed to be pain free. It’ supposed to hurt and feel fucking amazing and everything in between. That’s the beauty of it. You say I never really loved Conrad, well maybe not, but I cared a lot about him and the truth is I never felt more alive than I did during my time with him, that is, not until Justin came along. He makes me ‘feel’ Mikey. Sometimes it scares the shit out of me and I want to run, but I don’t, and you know why? Because I’m more afraid of waking up one day when I’m old and gray, well, God willing NEVER gray…God and a bottle of dye,” Brian digressed and Michael laughed.

“Always the narcissist,” he said teasingly.

Brian blinked, trying to remember where he left off. “As I was saying, I don’t want to find myself looking back on my life one day and asking myself, ‘what if’,” Brian said.

Michael gave Brian one of his ‘doleful’ looks. “So I have lost my childhood friend, haven’t I? Brian fucking Kinney….all grown up. Who would have ‘thunk’ it,” he said with a wistful smile.

Brian laughed. “Certainly not me! But you haven’t lost your ‘boyhood’ friend Mikey. There will always be nights of pizza, pot and reminiscing about our youth way into our dotage.” Brian said.

Michael smiled at him. “Promise?” he asked.

“Promise,” Brian said.

 

Part 3

 

“Well Mr. Miller, does it meet your satisfaction?” The man asked.

Justin looked into the full length mirror in the dingy shop and smiled. He was Jake Miller now, gone was Justin Taylor.

“Perfect,” he said.

He rotated his shoulders and tilted his head from side to side several times, cracking his neck muscles and clenching his fist in the process. ‘Yes, perfect, he thought then turned to the artist.

“Thanks Pete. I’ll be sure to recommend you,” Justin said before sauntering out onto the street.

Several eyes turned to stare at him; all with the same expression then quickly averted their gaze and hurriedly walked away in the opposite direction. Justin kept his features schooled and headed towards the car he just bought that morning from a Junkie he had met while on the Kempt case. The guy needed the money to feed his habit and Justin needed the car. It fit his cover perfectly. Normally Justin would have felt guilty for aiding in the man’s addiction by giving him the money but he was under no delusions that anything he did would stop the man from doing the drugs. The guy would have just found someone else to buy his car, and probably get a lot less money for it than what Justin paid, him forcing him to sell his body on the streets for drugs just that much quicker. In his view, he was doing the guy a favor. Giving him a few days reprieve form his ultimate destiny. Years on the force taught him that there was simply no help for some people….

He opened the car door and smiled at the loud scraping sound it made.

‘Perfect…’

He slid in and slammed the door shut, jarring all the windows in the car, even the ones with the tape across the cracks and wondered how long those would hold up. He turned the ignition and breathed a sigh of relief as the motor groaned to life. He’d have to have a mechanic look on the inside just to make sure it would last him for the next several months. He had no idea how long this case would take. One look in the hanging rearview mirror, another thing he’d have to fix, though a little duct tape would do the job there, and he was off to work. He wondered, with devilish mischief, what kind of reception he would get there.

Hopefully all his work would pay off and he’d get exactly the reaction he was going for…well except for Brian…he pondered, with a tight not in his stomach, on how his lover would react. He knew Brian would totally understand and approve of his guise, but would he be attracted to him? He knew he was going to freak when he saw what he did to his body, but Justin never did anything half assed. If he was going to play this part, he was going to ‘live’ it. Kids’ lives were at stake. He would have to become the thug he’d be portraying, and that included in and out of that school.

He was like a method actor when it came to undercover work. Once, only once, did he let his cover slip and it nearly got him killed. It was a hard lesson learned, but one he learned well. When undercover, Justin played the part to the hilt, 24/7. How he was going to make Brian want him, ‘Jake Miller’, was going to be challenge because he wasn’t going to be ‘Justin Taylor’ again until this case was over….

 

Part 4

 

“Hey Boss! Good news, Stephen popped the question last night!” Agnes blurted out, shoving her hand in front of Brian’s face showing off her engagement ring the moment he walked through the door.

Brian backed up a bit, startled by Agnes’s enthusiastic reception and glance at the ring, a slight snarl curing his lips.

“He should have popped more cash down on a decent ring. Please tell me you’re not going to quit now and stay home to ‘pop’ out a few kids, while he goes off and ‘pops’ some young girls cherry because your love hole will be all stretched out from pushing out those puppies,” Brian said.

Agnes gasped in outrage and hit his arm. “You are so mean!” she said.

“And you are delusional Aggy. I’ve never lied to you, have I?” Brian asked. Agnes looked at him warily, she didn’t think she was going to like what he had to say, but she knew one thing. Brian was never purposely hurtful, and he was always honest.

“No, you haven’t,” she said.

Brian sighed, hating to have to do this, but he refused to let someone he cared about get into a situation without knowing the whole truth first. Normally, he would NEVER get involved in someone else’s affair’s of the heart…hell he had enough trouble dealing with his own relationship, but he couldn’t let a friend make a serious decision like this without disclosing what he knew.

“Aggy, I didn’t want to tell you because quite frankly, I didn’t think this relationship would last. I thought he’d move on by now, but if he’s asked you to marry him, then you should know a few things first,” he said.

Agnes frowned at him. “What are you talking about? Just say it Brian,” Agnes said using his name. The only time Agnes ever used Brian’s name was when she was mad at him, and she was currently furious at him and on the verge of tears.

Brian pulled her into his office and shut the door.

“Take a seat,” he instructed as he shrugged out of his coat and sat behind his desk. Agnes reluctantly sat down and waited for his explanation.

“I did a background check on Stephen,” Brian said without preamble. Agnes eyes went wide.

“You had no right!” she screeched. Brian cringed.

“You’re right, I had no right. But I had a bad feeling about him so I had him checked out. Aggy, his real name is Andrew Panella. He did some time for petty theft. I didn’t tell you because it was a long time ago and the man did his time. He moved, and changed his name for a fresh start, and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, plus you really liked him. However, before you consider marrying this man, you should know about his past. I assuming he hasn’t told has he?” Brian asked.

Agnes was no longer on the verge of tears, she was now crying, letting them flow freely down her face.

“No..ooo..” she stammered.

Brian got up from behind his desk and pulled her up by her shoulders. Holding her at arms length he shook her slightly to get her attention.

“Aggy, listen to me…are you listening?” he asked bending a bit at his knees so his eyes were leveled with hers.

Agnes hiccupped and nodded her head indicating she was.

“Ask him about it. That’s all. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. Actually, apart from his stint in jail, for the past several years he has been a model citizen. So he may very well have changed. It is possible; I just don’t want you going into this thing blind,” Brian said.

“Buu..ttt…he should have told me! How can you keep something like that from the woman you supposedly love?” she asked forlornly.

It tore at Brian’s insides to see her like this.

“Maybe because he does love you, and was afraid that if you knew about his past, he’d lose you. Now I’m not making excuses for him not fully disclosing his past to you. He had an obligation to do so, especially if he was going to ask you to marry him. There is no excuse, however, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It just means he has a lot more work to do, in my opinion, to win your love and trust back at this point because if I’m right, and I think I am, he’s lost at least one of them. Having said that, if you love him Agnes, and you really believe he loves you, then maybe it’s worth the work it will take for you to gain his trust again. Start over,” Brian said.

Agnes wiped her eyes and looked at her Boss as if she were looking at a stranger. “When did you start believing in love and relationships?” she asked truly perplexed.

Brian released her and laughed.

“I’m not sure that I do. In fact, I’m the last person who should be giving relationship advice. However, I just recently learned that you can forgive someone you once cared for, for hurting you. I’m just passing some of that wisdom on,” he said then went to take his seat again behind his desk.

He was about to dismiss Agnes when he heard a loud shriek emanate from outside the office.

“What the fuck!” he exclaimed.

He bolted from behind his desk and rushed out to the reception area. Agnes was on his heels. What he saw there made him stop dead in his tracks. He didn’t bother to look to Emmett, who was the one who shrieked, for an explanation. What he was looking at needed no explanation for his reaction. If he weren’t so shocked, he would have ‘shrieked’ himself. And Brian Kinney NEVER shrieked!

Shane was just rounding the corner, having heard the offensive noise from the bathroom, and came to a screeching halting at the sight that greeted her.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” she yelled.

Cynthia and Lucas were right behind Shane, also having heard Emmett’s ‘shriek’, and their reaction was similar, only their response came out more as a horrified gasp.

Agnes couldn’t see what all the commotion was about as her vision was blocked by her boss’s frame in the doorway. She squeezed past him and saw what was causing all the fuss. To her credit she did not shriek, yell or gasp. She simply fainted. Luckily Brian was there to catch her. He turned scalding eyes to Justin, who was responsible for his staff’s hysterics.

“In my office. Now!” he barked.

Justin’s heart dropped to his stomach. He knew his appearance would cause a reaction like this, well he didn’t think it would be ‘this’ dramatic, but it wasn’t surprising. The one thing he was hoping for however was a calmer, more reasonable reaction from his lover.

‘So much for that dream…’ he thought then went to face the lion in his den.

 

Part 5

 

Several LONG minutes later, Brian reentered his office to find a very anxious blond, well what use to be blond, waiting for him. He now had a military hair cut that was so close to his scalp, you had to look close to see it’s color. And that was the least offensive change to his person. He had what appeared to be a bone pierced through his eyebrow and a crucifix hanging from his left ear. God only knew what other piercings he’d find on his body if he should inspect further, which he fully intended to do later on. Then there were the tattoos…Brian had to collect himself before he addressed those. He slowly circled this ‘new’ version of his blonde, scanning his body from head to toe, with a blank expression on his face. Justin squirmed under his scrutiny.

“Is Agnes ok?” Justin asked.

As soon as she fainted he rushed to her side but Brian told him it would be best if he were out of sight when she came too. He had to agree, everyone needed to get use to his new appearance.

“She’s fine. I explained to her that ‘this’,” Brian gesticulated his hand up and down Justin’s body, “was only temporary. I don’t like lying Justin, please tell me that ‘this’ is only temporary,” Brian demanded.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Oh for God sakes, of course it’s only temporary!” he said.

Brian raised his brow. “Those tattoos look pretty permanent to me,” he said.

“They’re not, I swear. It’s real dye, but a special kind. The artist assured me that they’ll fade after six months.” Justin said.

“Six months!”

Justin winced at Brian’s outburst.

“I wanted them to be authentic.” he said in lieu of an explanation, though no explanation was needed.

Anyone familiar with hate groups, as Brian was, would recognize their meaning. There were two lightening bolts, an Aryan nation symbol worn by most skinheads, tattooed on his upper arm and the words ‘Protect the Brotherhood’ tattooed written underneath it. His other arm was riddled with similar racist tattoos.

“Well you succeeded there Sunshine. What else do you have pierced or tattooed?” Brian asked, more like accused.

“Nothing! I swear I know this isn’t what you expected …”

“NO it wasn’t what I expected! I was expecting something like the guise you wore on the Kempt case where you were playing a hustler! That character was street smart, tough and cynical. His attire was that of any ‘punk’ kid. But ‘this’…” Brian once again gesticulated his hand over Justin’s body, “is…is….monstrous! You’re going undercover at a fucking High School! Not a prison!” he said with his disgust in his voice.

Justin gaped at him.

“I’m supposed to be a kid out of Juvi! What did I go there for? Knocking over mailboxes? I thought we agreed that these kids were dangerous. Hard core. They already attacked two kids, almost killed one, and those are just the ones we know about! Do you think if I went in as some tough punk that would gain me entrance? Brian, I don’t want to just be some cool kid they may allow in the ‘gang’, I want to get close to the leader, and his white supremacist father. If we bring them down, the rest will fall like dominos. But the only way I can do that is if they both believe I share their beliefs. Well, these tattoos are a pretty good indicator. And I was thinking that my ‘crime’, the one that sent me to Juvi, should assault and battery. My cover story is that I was sent to Juvi for bashing a gay kid at another high school,” Justin said.

Brian sucked in his breath shocked. “Justin no…”

Justin’s eyes turned soft, which was in total contrast to the rest of his appearance.

“Bri…it’s ok. I can do this. This is not some therapeutic exercise for me, I promise you,” he said.

“This is insane! And too dangerous. Justin, I can’t allow you to do this. If they even suspect what you’re up to they’ll kill you. Do you understand that? I won’t be able to protect you if they bring you deep into their inner circle,” Brian said and Justin could hear the fear, the deep fear in his voice and his heart clenched. He walked over to him and cautiously put his hand on his arm. Brian’s whole body was tense, but his eyes never left Justin’s.

“Yes you will. You’ll find a way,” he said putting more faith into his lover than Brian was able to have in himself.

Brian shook his head venomously.

“No, Justin I can’t promise that I can,” he started to object but Justin cut him off by placing a finger over his lips.

“Yes, you can, and you will. I know you Brian, you’ll find a way to keep me safe, plus I promise that if I even get a whiff that they might be suspicious of me, I’ll high tail it out of there. We HAVE to do this, no matter how dangerous, kids lives are at stake,” Justin said.

Brian’s face grew taunt and his eyes glazed up. Justin thought he was withholding tears of anger and fear.

“I’m bugging the Barker house, and I’m planting a female mole inside. I know an agent; use to work for Horvath’s. White, blond female. She works for the feds now. I want her getting close to Cujo’s father; keep an eye on him and report back to us. I’ll call in a favor from Horvath. God knows he owes me, he’ll be able to get her on this case,” Brian said, his mind whirling with idea’s to keep his blonde safe.

Justin smiled and reached up to kiss him. Brian closed his eyes and let himself be swept away into the security of his blonds kiss. When he opened his eyes, reality came crashing back in on him and he stepped back. Justin mistook Brian’s retreat for rejection and pain sliced through him. He was afraid of this, that Brian wouldn’t be attracted to him as he was now. He turned away from him as tears of anger, and pain filled his eyes.

“Maybe its best if we put our relationship on hold until this case is over,” he said, his back to Brian.

“I think that’s a good idea. We can’t have anyone suspecting we’re lovers,” Brian said.

Justin’s heart plummeted.

“Fine,” he said squaring his shoulders.

“I’ll leave tonight. Ted set up a foster home for me to stay at; it’s his aunt and uncles house actually. The less contact we have the better,” Justin said then went to leave. Brian was on him so quick; Justin didn’t know what hit him.

“Why the fuck are you pissed?” he asked turning Justin around and slamming him up against the door.

Justin glared at him.

“It’s ok, I get it! You can’t stand the sight of me. So I’ll leave tonight and next week we’ll be two fucking strangers on assignment. It all works out very nicely,” Justin snarled sarcastically.

“Why you little spiteful drama queen. Is that what you think? That I’m not attracted to you?” he asked.

“How superficial do you think I am….no, wait a minute, don’t answer that,” Brian said.

The comment did much to alleviate the tension between them and they both started laughing.

“Well I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t attracted to me, I mean like this,” Justin said once his laughter subsided.

Brian sighed and pulled his bottom lip in as he studied his ‘thuggish’ blond.

“Do I like this ‘look’? No. Do I still want to fuck the shit out of you? Oh hell yes. No haircut, piercing or tattoos is ever going to change that. Under all, ‘this’,” Brian said rubbing his hand over Justin’s stubbly scalp, “actually, this is kind of hot,” he said as continued to massage his head. Justin hummed contently liking the feel of Brian’s hand on his scalp.

“You were saying,” Justin practically purred.

Brian laughed and leaned in to give his blond a hot passionate kiss, telling him exactly how much he desired him.

“I was saying,” he said in a breathless voice one he came up for air, “that you could change everything outwardly about you, but you’re still my hot, impetuous, over protective, best blow job giver ever, ‘boyfriend’. And that’s not going to change.” Brian said.

Justin was so relieved at Brian’s words that he graced him with a smile so bright, that in a flash, all the ‘trimmings’ that Justin donned for this case suddenly faded away and the ‘old’ Justin, the one Brian knew and lov…um, cared for so well, was all that Brian saw standing before him.

“There’s my Sunshine,” he said kissing him once again, only this time more deeply, and more passionately.

 

Part 6

 

They spent the weekend together fucking like their lives depended on it. Each was very aware of the dangers that lay ahead for them and they used their time together as a shield from what was to come, and just let themselves be in the moment - A moment that would end all too soon.

They parted at 3 o’clock on Monday morning. Brian was reluctant to let Justin go. Up until the end he wanted to call the whole thing off but neither Justin, nor his conscious, would let him. All he could do was take every precaution, keep as close to Justin as possible, and have faith in his staff, his blond and himself. The two former parties wasn’t an issue for him. He had tremendous faith in his staff and his blond, it was the latter that worried him.

 

….you’re a worthless piece of shit, a bum. You ruined my life! You’ll ruin everything you ever touch! You should have never been born!’….his fathers’ words rang in his head.

Words he hadn’t thought of for years. And for the first time, in a long time he wondered, as he watched Justin drive away from the window in his loft, if there was any truth to his father’s words…


	11. Chapter 11

The dirty blond haired boy yanked opened the cumbersome metal door of the souped up 1980 Malibu Wagon and slid into the backseat.

“Fuck its cold out there!” he said slamming the door shut behind him. He started rubbing his hands together and blowing hot foul breath on them to try to warm them up.

“Jesus Rufie, ever hear of a toothbrush!? Mouthwash?” the boy sitting next to him asked as he put his hand over his mouth and nose to ward off the offensive odor. Rufie glared at him, yet chose not to respond to the taunt.

The driver looked into his rearview mirror, “Well?” he asked, fixing his gaze on his new passenger.

Rufie stopped rubbing his hands. “Did I do something wrong Cujo?” he asked fearfully. The boy next to him snickered.

Cujo, the driver, sighed heavily and pointed to the dashboard of the car. There, etched in gold colored lettering were the words, ‘Cash, Grass or Ass, No one rides for free’.

“So what’s it gonna be?” he asked.

Rufie sighed in relief. “Jesus fuck, Cuj! You scared the shit out of me! Here, all I got is five bucks on me,” he said reaching into his pocket. He pulling out the money and handed it over to Cujo.

Cujo shook his head rejecting Rufie’s offering. “That won’t get you down the block. You better dig up some more,” he said, as he idly started playing with the dial on the radio.

Rufie’s face paled. “But..tt that’s all I have,” he stuttered.

“Ho hooo! Looks like someone’s gonna have to walk,” the boy next to him hooted.

“Fuck you Hank! I’m always paying for gas!”

“And I’m always providing the grass,” Hank said.

“And Genie here gives up the ass,” Cujo said laughing.

“Hey! I’m not some whore you know,” Genie, who was sitting up front next to Cujo, whined.

“SLAP!”. Cujo back handed the pretty brunette.

“Shut the fuck up bitch! The only fucking reason you’re in this car is because of your ass. Next time you open your mouth it better be to suck my cock, if that’s a problem for you, you can get the fuck out now and walk,” Cujo said snarling at her.

Genie rubbed her aching cheek and forced her tears back knowing it would only get worse if she cried. She numbly shook her head indicating she didn’t want to walk, and turned to look silently out the window, hoping to pacify her boyfriend. Cujo turned his attention back to Rufie in the back seat.

“As for you asshole, unless you want to take Genie’s place and suck my cock you fucking faggot I suggest you find more money for gas now, or get the fuck out,” Cujo said.

Rufie’s face turned white. Hank sank low in his seat and wisely kept silent. They were all familiar with Cujo’s moods, and he was obviously in a very bad one this morning.

“I’ll give you my new IPOD,” Rufie said in a defeated voice. Cujo smiled in the rearview mirror at Rufie as he watched him retrieve his IPOD from his army jacket and hand it over the front seat to him.

“Take a lesson, Hank. That’s how real friends show their loyalty,” Cujo said. Hank crouched lower in his seat, the implication of Cujo’s words were not lost on him.

Cujo took the IPOD from Rufie. He gave it a once over and smiled appreciatively.

“This just earned you two weeks of rides, Ruf. Though gas is going up; you’ll have to do better than this once those two weeks are up,” Cujo said, sending a chill down the Rufie’s spine. The dirty blond wondered what price he’d have to pay next to stay in Cujo’s favor, and that’s all that mattered…staying in Cujo’s good graces. Anything less meant pain…or worse.

The old Malibu screeched away from the curb, the driver’s mood suddenly lifted as he popped in a CD of the punk rock group, ‘Angry Aryans’ and started singing along to the song, ‘Master of Race.’

 

*****************************

 

“Oh my, I’m sooo sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going!” Brian, having orchestrated the ‘accidental’ collision, offered the equally manufactured apology.

He quickly bent over to help the young woman he targeted retrieve the papers she was carrying that were now scattered to the ground from the impact. His thick, black horn-rimmed glasses slid down his nose a bit in the process.

“It’s quite all right. It’s as much my fault; I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going either,” the woman said as she stood to face him. Brian stood with her and held out the papers he gathered in his hand.

“Thank you,” she said, taking the remaining papers from him.

Brian pushed his glasses back up the bridge of nose with his forefinger and graced her with an awkward smile. “You’re quite welcomed, but I assure you, the entire incident was my fault,” he insisted, “I fear I’ve always been a tad clumsy,” he confessed shyly.

The young woman graced him with a sympathetic smile. “Well, no harm done,” she said.

“You’re being very generous, please let me introduce myself. My name is Peter, Peter Carter. I’m the new Chemistry teacher here. I was trying to find my class, but I’m afraid I’m lost,” he said in an embarrassed voice, “Can you please direct me to room 314? I believe my first class is about to begin in,” he paused to look down at his Timex watch, once again adjusting his glasses, “oh my goodness, five minutes ago!” he squeaked out.

The woman put her hand on his arm soothingly. “It’s ok, don’t panic, it’s just down the corridor, I’ll show you the way,” she said, as she led him down the hallway.

“This is very kind of you. I truly appreciate you taking the time to help me,” Brian said, walking beside her, clutching his briefcase to his chest.

The young woman cast a sideward glance at him, raking her eyes over his form inquisitively. The phrase, ‘looks can be deceiving’, came to mind.

“My pleasure, I assure you. I’m Mrs. Halloway by the way. You can call me Teresa,” she offered.

Brian nodded his head shyly. “Teresa,” he said, his voice catching a little in his throat.

Teresa smiled back. Mr. Carter was truly a walking contradiction. He was an exceptionally good looking man, if one took the time to ‘see’. His features were stunningly handsome. He was tall, thin and very toned, (she could feel the taut muscles of his arm when she briefly touched him, indicating that he worked out regularly), yet he hid his firm physique under ill fitting clothes. He had piercing hazel eyes that danced like the devil when he looked at her over those ugly glasses he wore, yet his timid manner and speech belied the confident intelligence she gleaned from his gaze. His hair was dark and dull yet she was sure it would be rich in color and texture if it wasn’t for all the product he had in it that was weighing it down. His gait was stilted and gawky….almost contrived, Teresa mused. She shook her head at her wayward thoughts. Mr. Carter most assuredly had great potential she surmised, but because of his glaringly shy manner and lack of social graces, that potential would probably never come to fruition. Worse, she feared a man of his genteel nature would not last long in this school. The poor guy probably wouldn’t make it to the end of the day she thought.   
“Here you go Mr. Carter, room 3..,” she started to say, stopping in front of the classroom door.

“Please, call me Peter,” Brian interrupted her then quickly lowered his eyes as if mortified by his own presumptuous outburst.

“Peter,” Teresa acquiesced, reaching out to touch his arm again to reassure him, and if she were honest with herself, just to get another feel of that toned, muscled arm.

Brian shifted his eyes back up to meet hers. ‘Fuck’ he thought. There was desire in them. It wasn’t the reaction he was hoping for. Astonishingly enough, she was actually turned on by his geeky persona.

Loud music started playing from behind the door they were standing in front of jolting Brian from his thoughts. He felt Teresa squeeze his arm gently again in an attempt to sooth him, yet there was no mistaking the underlying ‘sexual intent’ in her touch.

“Your first class is the roughest of the day. I suppose you should be grateful for that. Get through first period, and you’ll be fine. If you need help, pick up the phone and press ‘1’. That will get you the principal’s office. She’ll send security down,” she said.

“Security!?” Brian said, adding a nervous hitch to his voice. No matter what, he had to keep in character. Who knew ‘geek’ would be sexy to the opposite sex? Hell, what the fuck did he know about the opposite sex anyway!

Teresa leaned in and whisper to him, “I wouldn’t worry too much. Unless provoked, they leave us teachers’ alone for the most part. Don’t let them get to you. Just ignore them and you’ll be fine,” she said then reluctantly released her hold on his arm.

Brian gave her a curious, fearful look. “Oo..Kay…Thanks,” he said.

“My pleasure. I’ll see you around the teachers lounge,” she said then winked at him before turning to leave. Brian inwardly groaned as he watched her walk away.

‘Great, just what I fucking need...a teacher cruising me,’ he thought. Though he was used to being lusted after by both men and women, he had hoped his cover would temper that response. If he was lucky, the ‘geek’ appeal would be limited to Ms. Halloway’s tastes. He didn’t want to waste time deflecting school girl crushes on top of being lusted after by other teachers. This assignment was too important for such frivolities. He was on a mission, and that mission lay behind the door in front of him. He shook his musings away, knowing there was nothing to be done about it now, and focused on the task at hand. Reaching out, he grasped the knob to the door of his classroom and entered.

The scene before him was reminiscent of every teen gang related movie he’s ever seen. A large ‘boom box’ was sitting on the window sill playing some Punk Rock music with barely discernable lyrics blaring from it while kids were sitting on desks, his included, wrestling around with each other, talking, smoking, drinking concealed bottles of God knows what in brown paper bags, and doing all sorts of non educational related stuff. Brian took a deep breath and walked over to the window sill, placing his briefcase on top of his desk next to some young girl who was sitting on it with her skirt hiked up to her ass, before proceeding on towards the boom box with the intent of shutting off the offensive music when the lyrics:

“Browntown burning down  
Cities getting sacked, it's coming down  
Browntown burning down  
Negro in flames rolling on the ground…” assaulted his ears.

He paused, taken aback by the blatantly racist lyrics being played in the classroom with complete disregard for the two black students he spied sitting in the back. He shook his head sadly. Though he knew the severity of the situation here, it was never ‘easy’ seeing hate up front and close. He reached out and switched the music off. Deafening silence ensued.

“You know you shouldn’t touch things that don’t belong to you.”

Brian turned to face the boy who issued the warning. He smiled an ‘idiotic’ smile and adjusted his glasses. The hidden mini video recorder implanted in the plastic added weight to the glasses, forcing them to slide down his nose. Cynthia had offered to tighten the frame for him but Brian liked the effect of him having to be constantly adjusting them…it added authenticity to his cover.

“I’m Mr. Carter, your new Chemistry teacher. And you are…?” Brian asked, extending his hand. He knew full well who the boy was having seen his photo and read his file. This was the one and only ‘Cujo’. Ring leader of the gang of kids terrorizing the school.

The boy looked down at the offered hand then turned to his classmates and let out an evil laugh which was immediately followed by a chorus of laughter from the other students. He turned back to Brian and spit on his hand. The act caused the class to erupt in even more laughter followed by short comments like, “Holy fuck!” and “Oh Shit!”

“And that’s me, on your hand. But you can call me Cujo,” the boy said.

Brian held his smile and reached into his suit jacket’s top pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He then proceeded to wipe the spittle from his hand.

“An interesting introduction for sure, certainly not what I was expecting, but never-the-less, it does present an excellent opportunity for scientific discussion. Tell me, Mr. Cujo...what is it that you just expectorated on to my hand?” Brian asked. He finished cleaning his hand and stuffed the handkerchief back in his top pocket.

Cujo gave him an odd look. “Um, spit,” he said, looking at Brian as if he were an idiot.

“That’s the slang word for it, but do you know what chemical compounds can be found in it? Or how it is produced?” Brian asked.

“No, but I can produce some more if you like. You know, for scientific purposes,” Cujo said, smiling at his own ‘wit’. The class chuckled.

“Excellent! Then you won’t mind going over to the lab station and filling up a tester tube with your saliva for the class to analyze?” Brian asked, keeping eye contact with the boy.

Cujo just glared at him.

“Hmmm…I’ll take that as a no. Well in that case, let me introduce you to wonders of bodily fluids,” Brian said side stepping him as he headed over to the black board.

His comment elicited a round of snickers from the class at the implied sexual reference.

“Saliva is made up mostly of water and a mixture of chemicals some including bicarbonate, lysozyn, and RNase. There is no one specific chemical compound for salvia because each person’s chemical composition is unique. The fluid itself however is secreted out of three pairs of salivary glands within the mouth,” Brian said, picking up a piece of chalk.

“These pairs are called the parotid, the submandibular and the sublingual glands.” Brian wrote each of the glands on the blackboard.

“Indeed, these are the big three, responsible for your ‘spit’ and the puddle of drool on your pillow in the morning, Mr. Cujo,” Brian said, turning back to the class, dusting the chalk from his hands.

There were a few more, louder snickers over Brian’s insinuation that Cujo drooled in his sleep. Cujo’s face grew red with embarrassment and anger. He stalked over to Brian.

“Listen ’new’ guy, I guess no one’s told you how things work around here. So let me ’educate’ you. I run things around here,” Cujo declared.

Brian dismissed him with a ‘swish’ of his hand, one Emmett would be proud of. “Yes, I heard all about your little gang. What I wonder is why are you in this class at all? You’re obviously not interested in learning anything here, so why not just leave? Oh, wait, you can’t, can you? You need this class in order to get your high school diploma. Though I’ve no idea why you would even want one. It’s obvious you won’t need it for the career path you’ve chosen. But since you are here, for whatever reasons, we might as well make the best of it and try to get along,” he said.

Cujo clenched his fist by his side. “We’ll get along just fine as long as you follow the rules. See this is how it works, you give me a passing grade now, and I do you a favor and leave this boring ass class and your pathetic excuse for a life alone for the rest of the school year,” he said.

“That would be dishonest. You wouldn’t want me to be dishonest, would you?” Brian said, squaring off with the boy.

“I wouldn’t want you to be hospitalized for some unfortunate accident either, but hey, shit happens,” Cujo returned, the implied threat didn’t go unnoticed by anyone in the classroom. It grew eerily silent.

“Yes, they do. All the time. Just the other day I saw on the news how some kid died from food poisoning after he ate at his school cafeteria. Apparently he bullied another kid, a kid from his own gang no less, so bad that the kid couldn’t take it anymore and paid a cafeteria worker to slip arsenic into the bully’s food. Shit like that happens more than you think, Mr. Cujo. A lot more than you think. It’s called Karma,” Brian said giving Cujo a knowing smile.

He was positioning himself to be Cujo’s next target, and in the process attempting to plant a seed of doubt, and mistrust in his head about his own gang. If Cujo started distrusting his cohorts, he would be more open to bringing in fresh new blood, and that’s where Justin came in. Recruiting Justin into his gang to take out a teacher was their ticket to putting Cujo where he belonged…in jail. Big boy jail too, not Juvi. According to federal law, Juvi’s were tried as adults for hate crimes. And it would be a hate crime because phase two of their plan was to comprise a way for it to come out that Brian was gay making him an even bigger target for Cujo to go after.

“Are you fucking threatening me, faggot?” Cujo asked.

‘Well so much for phase two. Apparently the kid already came to that conclusion,’ Brian thought.

“Of course not. We were just discussing the unfortunate events that take place every day in people’s lives. The incident I spoke of took place in Putnam County. If you go to the Library and look through the newspaper archives I’m sure you’ll find it,” Brian said, injecting a bit of ‘fear’ into his voice. He didn’t want to piss off Cujo too much…yet.

Cujo seemed to be a bit pacified by the fear he heard in Brian’s voice and smiled, once again, that ‘evil’ smile at him. “Putnam County, huh?” he laughed. “Sounds like my kind of school. Some one fucks with you, you take them out,” Cujo said, staring pointedly at Brian.

“That kid got life in prison,” Brian said.

Cujo shrugged his shoulders. “Only because the stupid prick got caught. If he weren’t such a faggot, he’d have done the job himself,” Cujo said.

“Is that what you do Cujo? Take care of business yourself?” Brian asked, knowing their conversation was being recorded from the mini surveillance device in his glasses. Cynthia and Ted were in a van outside listening and watching everything taking place. If he could get any kind of confession out of the boy it would add tremendously to their case.

Cujo however was smart enough not to give him a direct answer. “Let’s just say, I’m no faggot.”

“Ah, I gather you don’t like gays. I also gather, from the music that was playing on the stereo when I entered, that you don’t like black people either,” Brian challenged.

His eyes shifted over to the two black kids who were sitting in the back of the room keenly witnessing the whole exchange. He had a feeling they didn’t like Cujo’s choice in music either.

“Cujo makes no secret that he don’t like blacks,” one of the black boys answered for him. Brian raised his brow at the kid. The kid shrugged his shoulders. “He can sprout any shit he likes, but he knows better than to fuck with us. ‘We’ ain’t no faggots. He comes after us, and we’ll take him and his fucking gang out,” the boy said. The tall muscular black boy sitting next to him suddenly stood up.

Brian could feel a fight coming on, one he inadvertently started. ‘Fuck!’ he mentally cursed.

“That’s enough!” he said in a commanding voice, heedless that his manner and stance just drastically altered from his cover. Fortunately, the change went unnoticed by the boys involved in the brewing conflict; however others in the classroom caught it and shrank back in their chairs. Cujo’s boys stood and flanked his sides. Brian moved to stand in between them and his black students.

“Out, now,” he ordered Cujo and the two boys standing with him.

Cujo glared at him before shifting his gaze back to the black kids in the back of the room.

“This ain’t over, Ronnie,” he said.

“Bring it you fucking piece of white trash. We find another cross burning in our neighborhood and they’ll find your body wrapped in your fucking confederate flag at the bottom of the river,” Ronnie threatened.

‘Fuck! fuck! fuck!!!!’ Here Brian was trying to get Cujo on tape either confessing to a crime, or threatening to committee one and instead he gets a potential victim on tape threatening to commit a crime! Things were definitely not going as planned.

Cujo laughed at Ronnie’s threat. “What’s the matter, Ron boy? Your auntie didn’t like our lawn decoration? Keep running your mouth and next time I’ll make sure you’re on that cross when I light it up,” Cujo said.

‘Well that’s something…’ Brian thought. One confession to burning a cross on someone’s lawn, and a threat to burn someone on it. Still it wasn’t enough to put the boy behind bars. God he was a nasty piece of work. Brian’s blood boiled with need to bring this cock sucker down.

“Cujo, you do realize that you just admitted to burning a cross on someone’s lawn, and threatened to burn Ronnie on a cross in front of the whole class….and me,” Brian said, hoping he could deflect Cujo’s anger away from Ronnie and onto him. If Cujo knew he was on record, so to speak, threatening to harm another student, he might not go through with his threat…well not until he took out the one person who he believed would turn him in and that’s exactly what Brian wanted Cujo to do. Try to take him out.

Cujo’s whole manner suddenly changed. A bone chilling smile split across his face. “Easy there Professor. Ron and I were just kiddin around, weren’t we, Ron?” Cujo challenged the boy.

Ronnie’s lips tightened at the position he was put in to. He either had to agree with the kid who burned a cross on his aunt’s lawn, or be marked as a ‘rat’. “Yeah, all in fun,” he gritted out.

Cujo nodded his head satisfied and turned his attention back to Brian.

“Now, as for us…I think we’re gonna get along jussst fine,” he said, grabbing his coat from off the back of a chair. His ‘boys’ did the same. “As long as I get that A,” he said, then turned to leave.

Brian watched as the three boys piled out of the classroom, slamming the door so hard behind them that the windows shook. Silence ensued.

“Let me guess, they belong to the Welcome Committee, right?” Brian asked as he turned to his class, trying to insert some levity to the tense atmosphere Cujo and his gang left behind. He heard a few nervous laughs at his remark and breathed a little easier. He walked over to his desk, where the girl was still half sitting, half lying, and gently nudged her off. She hopped down smiling seductively at him and ‘swish swayed’ her ass over to an empty desk. Brian sighed. Apparently much of his time would be spent dodging unwanted sexual attention.

“You better watch your back man,” Ronnie’s voice came from the back of the room. Brian looked up and saw him and his friend was now sitting back down. Both boys looked more relaxed, yet still cautious.

“Thank you for the advice, Ronnie. I’m sorry to hear about the incident at your Aunt’s house. Do the police have any clues as to who’s responsible?” Brian asked. Of course he knew who did it, Cujo all but just admitted it, but the police actually having evidence was another issue.

Ronnie laughed bitterly. “Oh they know who did it alright. But they ain’t gonna do nothing about it. They made that clear. Their advice was that we should keep a low profile. We don’t need them anyway. We take care of our own,” Ronnie said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and gnawed on it. Apparently the violence had escalated over the winter break. Now racially motivated crimes were being committed outside the school in addition to the hate crimes occurring on school grounds.

“I heard three gay kids were attacked before winter break, is that true?” Brian pressed. The students now looked very nervous. One small, inconspicuous looking boy spoke up.

“Three that were reported,” he said and Brian was surprised at the intensity of the venom he heard in the small boys voice. His instinct was telling him this kid was not only gay, but a victim as well.

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” Brian said trying to sound unaffected for a purpose.

The boys’ eyes burned indignantly. “Unfortunate? That’s a fucking callous way to put being beaten and raped with Coke bottle! Unfortunate???!!!,” he barked out an acidic laugh, “Yeah, I guess you could say it was ‘unfortunate’,” he drawled out sarcastically then turned his head and wiped at his eyes.

Brian hated doing that to the kid, but he wanted to provoke that kind of honest response from him to know for sure. The kid was a victim.

“You know someone who had that happen to them?” Brian asked, knowing the boy would rather endure another round of rape and beatings before turning in his attackers.

The boy shook his head indicating he didn’t know and continued to stare out the window wordlessly.

“Ronnie’s right, Mr. Carter. You better be carful. Cujo and his gang are bad news,” the girl who had just vacated from her position on his desk said.

“Shut your hole bitch. You want them coming after you?” a boy to her left warned.

Brian walked over to the boy, “What’s your name?” he asked.

The boy looked up at him. “Eric,” he answered.

“Apologize to the young lady, Eric. We don’t call girls ‘bitches’ in my classroom,” Brian said.

Eric’s mouth flew open. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Look at her! She’s lucky I didn’t call her a whore! If her skirt were any shorter we’d be seeing snatch!” Eric said.

Brian reached over and lifted Eric up by his shirt. “Apologize and then get out. If you don’t apologize, you won’t be coming back. It is NOT acceptable to judge or ridicule anyone for how they dress, or how they look…not for the color of their skin, the level of their intelligence, their size, their personal circumstances or who they chose to love!” Brian paused and looked to the back of the room to where Ronnie and his friend sat watching intensely, “And it is NEVER acceptable to use the word ‘faggot’…are we clear?” Brian asked, keeping his gazed locked on Ronnie’s.

“Crystal,” Ronnie answered.

Brian reined his temper in. Cujo had really gotten to him and he knew he was venting on these boys partly because he couldn’t take Cujo down...yet anyway. Still, Eric and Ronnie deserved the dressing down. They were symptomatic of a larger problem. Evil truly did reign when good people stood by and did nothing. Not only were the kids and teachers standing by and doing nothing, they were fostering the attitudes of the assailants.

“Fuck, ok, ok! I’m sorry, Lizz,” he said, truly afraid of Brian’s wrath. Brian nodded his head, satisfied with the apology, and then released him.

“Now get out. Tell Principal Miller I said you can come back tomorrow,” Brian said, dismissing the boy. Eric left grumbling. At least he didn’t slam the door behind him; Brian didn’t think the windows could withstand being rattled again. He turned to look at his class and sighed.

‘So much for my cover…’ he thought. Every kid in that room was now looking at him as if his secret identity had just been revealed….and it had. The one saving grace to his blunder was that once word got out that the ‘nerdy’ professor lost it in class, it would solidify Cujo’s belief that he was gay. His speech about not judging people would be construed as a personal defense on his part, not wanting to be judged. He took solace in the fact that his cover wasn’t totally blown. In truth, he probably just added some authenticity to it. With that reassuring thought, he pulled out his textbook, (his own personal one he had saved from his high school days) and proceeded to go over the periodic table with his students, easily slipping back into the ‘geeky’ teacher persona. He wondered what the folks on Liberty Avenue would say if they knew that Brian fucking Kinney was a closet Science ‘geek’…..He wondered…what Justin would think.

 

**********************************************

 

“Man, this shit is good,” Rufie said passing the joint back to Hank.

“I only get the best,” Hank replied taking a hit.

“So Cuj, you really spit on the new teachers hand? That’s so fucking cool!” Rufie said.

Several boys, along with Cujo, were hanging out on the bleachers overlooking the football field. The weather had warmed up a bit and most of the kids were outside for recess.

“He sure fucking did! Threatened his ass too! I was there,” another boy, Ike, said.

“Man I wish I could have seen that,” Rufie said.

Cujo was barely paying attention to the conversation around him. His gaze was fixed on a boy sitting under a tree below them reading a book.

“Cuj? Cuj! Are we?” Rufie asked.

Cujo turned to look at him. “Are we what?” he asked.

“Are we going to do what Deuce said? Fuck his car up,” Rufie asked.

“Later. Right now I want to know who that kid is,” Cujo said.

“What kid?” Ike asked.

“That kid,” Cujo pointed below him, “the one with the militant haircut and camouflage jacket.”

Everyone turned to look at him. “Must be new. Never saw him before,” Ike said.

Cujo snarled at him. “It’s your fucking job to know things like that,” he said.

“Oh shit, that must be him!” Rufie said, but didn’t elaborate. Cujo slapped him upside the head.

“Who, you fucking moron?!” he asked.

“Ouch that hurt!” Rufie yelped, and then quickly shared all he knew about the new kid.

“Manny was telling me about him. He said his mother told him we were getting this new kid from Juvi. According to Manny’s mom, he’s real bad news. Been in and out of Juvi, and foster homes most his life. He has a rap sheet a mile long. His last bust was for bashing some faggot’s head in with a baseball bat at his last school but the kid was in a coma and couldn’t remember a thing when he came out of it. Plus the evidence was weak but they threw him in Juvi for aggravated assault anyway. His lawyer repealed and he got sprung. They moved him here because he was getting too many threats from his hometown,” Rufie explained.

Cujo turned blazing eyes on Ike. “How the fuck is it that this moron knows more than you?” he asked.

“Cause Manny lives next door to him and Manny’s mom’s the school shrink. How was I to know? Rufie should have told us right away,” Ike said, casting blame back on Rufie.

Cujo cursed and crushed his cigarette out. “I’m surrounded by fucking morons,” he sighed then turned to his best friend, “Except for you Deuce. And yes, we’re gonna fuck up that faggot teachers car, for starters. If he gives me any more shit, we’ll just have to be more creative next time,” Cujo said. The boys snickered.

Deuce, who was not only Cujo’s best friend, but second in command, hence the nick name ‘Deuce’, just nodded his head in agreement.

Cujo turned his attention back to the boy under the tree. “A real bad ass, huh?” he asked.

“According to Manny’s mom,” Rufie reiterated.

“Well then, let’s go find out how bad,” Cujo said, then jumped down from the bleachers and headed over towards the new kid with his ‘boys’ in tow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Justin was aware he was being watched. Cynthia and Ted made sure his cover story was leaked so he knew Cujo and his gang was discussing him.

“They’re heading your way,” Cynthia’s voice sounded in Justin’s ear. He had a tiny mic planted in his cross and bone earring.

“Got them in my periph,” Justin confirmed keeping his eyes glued to the book in his hand. He couldn’t believe he was actually reading this shit and not throwing up. At least it was a distraction. This first contact was very crucial. His past experience with gangs told him that he was about to be tested.

A shadow fell over him as the boys took up their positions. He kept reading.

“Hey, GI Joe, whatcha reading?” Justin heard one of the boys address him. He ignored him and kept reading.

Ike looked over at Cujo who nodded his head. Having gotten the ok, Ike reached down to snatch the book away. With lightening bolt speed, Justin’s hand snaked out and grabbed the boy’s wrist in a vice like grip. Without looking up, he raised his book so the boys could see the title. Ike cried out in surprise as he felt his wrist being painfully squeezed.

“The Pink Swastika? What is that? Some book about fairy Nazi’s?” Rufie said, the boys laughed.

“Let me go you fucking freak!” Ike demanded. Justin yanked him down to the ground and elbowed him in the throat, effectively shutting him up. The others went to Ike’s aid. Justin dropped his book and sprang to his feet.

“Stop!” Cujo commanded and the boys stepped down.

“I read that book. Scott Lively wrote it. He’s the founder of the Abiding Truth Ministry. That books about how even Nazi’s were plagued with fags,” Cujo said.

Justin briefly looked at Cujo, with what he hoped was respect in his eyes.

Ike rolled away from Justin gasping for air and stood up to face him. “You gonna just let him get away with attacking one of ‘us’?!” he asked his leader. All the boys looked to Cujo.

Cujo sighed regretfully; there was something about this kid he liked. For one, he had great taste in books, for another, he had an obvious respect for the military…still, he did attack one of his boys, and as leader, it was his job to dole out retribution.

“I think you owe Ike an apology, and that nice jacket you’re wearing,” Cujo said.

Justin answered by leaning back against the tree, an odd smile played on his lips. He lifted one leg up and bent it so that his combat boot clad foot was flat against the bark; his other foot remained on the ground. He then opened his jacket to reveal a hunting knife strapped to his belt. He had yet to speak a word.

“Holy fuck, how did he get that past the metal detectors!?” Rufie asked.

‘Not hard when you’ve got friends on the inside,’ Justin thought. The knife had been planted in his locker by Lucas, who had been working since last week as a janitor in the school. Lucas also planted a bug in each of the boys’s lockers.

“He obviously has friends on the inside,” Cujo wisely deduced as he pulled out a switch blade and started cleaning his fingernails with it.

“And apparently, so do you,” Justin said, giving Cynthia a clue that the boy was packing as well. Unwittingly Cujo just gave them valuable information; there was at least one staff member on the inside doing Cujo’s bidding. Cynthia would pass the information on to Lucas. As the new janitor, he was in a position to find out who was aiding these boys. The janitorial and maintenance crew knew every nook and cranny of the school. They were literally the ‘eyes and ears’ of the institution.

“Now, like I said, you owe Ike an apology. And that jacket,” Cujo once again said twisting his knife back and forth so that the sun’s rays reflected off of it, blinding Justin.

Justin pushed away from the tree, and out of the knife’s glare. With a lackadaisical shrug of his shoulders, he slipped out of his jacket, letting it fall to the ground and took a step towards Cujo.

“Tell you what, you want it, come and get it,” Justin said, cocking his head towards the jacket on the ground behind him. “But first, you have to go through me,” he added pulling his knife from his belt and flexing his now bare arms in the process, making a show of it.

“Justin, don’t! I’m calling the other ops in. This is too dangerous. You’re either going to hurt this boy, or worse, he’s going to hurt you. Back OFF!”

Justin heard Cynthia’s frantic command through his earpiece but ignored it. The look in Cujo’s eyes all but confirmed that his gamble paid off. A gamble he was sure he was going to catch hell for from Brian later on, but it was a risk he needed to take. First contact, like first impressions, shaped the course of any relationship. He was sure with time, he could get Cujo to trust him and let him into his gang, but time wasn’t a luxury he had and actions spoke louder than words. Challenging the leader in such an aggressive manner established him as a ‘warrior’, and Cujo needed warriors in his crew to succeed in his mission…his mission being to take out all the Gays, Blacks and Jews he could in order to gain his fathers approval.

Cynthia’s researched not only uncovered ties between Cujo’s father and the Aryan Nation, but also a ‘shaky’ relationship between father and son. Cujo’s ‘reign of terror’ was designed to impress his dad. To date, he hadn’t been able to convince his father he was ‘worthy’, mostly because the attacks he perpetrated did no more than scare some people. No ‘real’ harm was done, not in his father’s eyes anyway. Cujo needed to step up his game and he wasn’t going to do it with the kids he’d recruited so far. They were nothing more than emboldened bullies. The only one who had the same ‘killer’ instinct as him was his best friend Donnie Dutch, whom he dubbed ‘Deuce’, in deference to him being second in command. Together, they were fearsome, but ineffective. Cujo needed another ally like Deuce in his little band of racist skinheads to serve his purpose, and from the way he was staring at the tattoos on his arms, Justin could tell he believed he’d found that person. His instincts were telling him he was a shoo-in…

 

“Let Ike handle him Cuj. It’s his fight. Don’t dirty your hands on this scum,” Deuce said. He had a bad feeling about what was about to go down. This kid was no one to fuck with. He didn’t want to see his best friend get hurt. Cujo was good with a knife, but he never had an actual fight with the weapon. Oh, he had no qualms cutting someone up, but none of his victims were armed. Not that Cujo didn’t have the balls, he did, but he didn’t have the experience this kid obviously had. Better to let Ike or Rufie take him on and test his mettle first, Deuce thought.

“We don’t call one of our own scum, Deuce,” Cujo said shocking his best friend, and the other boys. Justin smiled at him. ‘Bingo!’ he thought. He was in.

Cujo grabbed the hem of his bulky sweatshirt, along with his undershirt and pulled it up over his head then turned to show Justin his naked back. Justin had to swallow the bile that rose in his throat from the sight. Cujo’s whole back was one big tattooed homage to the Aryan Nation. Swastikas, death heads, burning crosses, White power symbols and various other hate logos covered Cujo’s back. Justin’s tattoos looked timid compared to what this kid had inked on him. He was just glad his tattoos were enough to convince Cujo that he was faithful to the Nation.

After several long agonizing seconds, which seemed like hours, Cujo let go of his shirt and turned to Justin with open arms.

“Brother…” he said.

Justin sent a silent prayer up for forgiveness as he walked into Cujo’s arms. It took all his will not to recoil from his embrace. He closed his eyes and thought of Brian as he felt Cujo affectionately slap his back. After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was only a matter of seconds, Cujo stepped back and placed his hand on Justin’s shoulder.

“Finally, a true believer…” he said.

Justin smiled in response but was unable to look him in the eye so instead he directed his gaze over Cujo’s shoulder. There behind Cujo, the boy Cujo called Deuce stood starring back at him with such hate in his eyes that it could only come from one source considering the situation. Jealousy…

 

**************************************

 

“Hey, is this seat taken?” Shane asked, having spotted the boy Brian had alerted her to.

His name was Josh Harron. He was tiny in stature with light brown hair and sharp features. He was non descript really, not one to attract anyone’s attention but according to Brian, he was one of Cujo’s victims. Brian wanted her to get close to him and find out what she could.

Josh looked up at the strange looking ‘Goth’ girl, assuming she was a girl, and smiled back. She had this androgynous look about her that was a welcome change from the almost ‘cloneish’ appearance of all the other kids at the school. Since the attacks, everyone at the school started conforming in their manner, and attire. The ‘stoners’ all got their hair cut, afraid that they’d be marked as ‘fags’ for wearing their hair long, they also stopped wearing tee shirts with designs on them that might be considered offensive by Cujo’s gang. The ‘Goth’ kids toned down their makeup and piercings, the geeks no longer wore pocket protectors, the drama students canceled plays because they couldn’t get any boys to audition for fear that they too would be considered gay, the black kids all kept to themselves, they no longer associated with any white students, even the ‘cool’ kids kept a low profile. Whoever this girl standing in front of him holding a lunch tray was, she obviously didn’t get the memo. He briefly contemplated turning her away, afraid that she would draw attention to him, but quickly banished that idea. He was determined not to let those fuckers win, no matter how many times they beat him…and worse. He never told anyone about that incident, especially not his parents because they would have done what the other parents did…pick them up and move. He wasn’t a fighter by nature, but he wasn’t a quitter either. They’d have to kill him to get rid of him. And he was fine with that outcome, should it come to that. There wasn’t much he could do about his own situation, but maybe he could at least warn this girl so she didn’t end up like him, and the others.

“Sure,” he said scooting over.

Shane smiled her gratitude and took a seat next to him. She noticed several eyes on them.

“Thanks. Everyone here is so….”

“Unfriendly? Paranoid? So… like recycled clones from the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers?” Josh filled in the blank for her. Shane laughed.

“Yeah, to all of the above. My name’s Shane. This is my first day, in case you couldn’t tell,” she said.

 

“I can tell. I’m Josh. So where you from Shane?” he asked taking a bite from his sandwich.

“Cali. My mom’s company relocated out here and offered her a promotion to move with them. I mean, it’s great and all, but it’s also like such a bummer too, no offense. It’s just a big change. Especially the weather! Is it always this cold?” Shane asked.

“Winters can be a bitch, but summers are nice. You’ll get used to it,” Josh said reassuringly.

Shane looked around her and frowned. “I don’t know, I mean it’s not just the weather, everyone here is so weird. They really do look and act like Pod people. Is there a school dress code I’m not aware of?” Shane asked.

“No, they just don’t want to draw attention to themselves,” Josh said.

“Attention from who?” Shane asked.

Josh’s eyes turned cold as he looked over Shane’s shoulder.

“Them,” he said.

Shane turned to look at who he was talking about. Walking towards them, flipping trays of food onto unsuspecting students on their way, were Justin and Cujo’s gang. She prepared herself for the coming confrontation.

“Holy fuck! Skin heads? Are you fucking serious? No wonder everyone’s freaked. I saw security around here, why don’t they do something?” Shane asked.

“Because they never seem to be around when Cujo starts his shit,” Josh said bitterly.

Shane caught the rancor in his tone. “Cujo?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s their leader,” Josh said.

Shane watched as the boys went over to the vending machine and purchased several bottles of Coke before heading straight for them. She had a feeling she wasn’t the only reason they had been targeted. She turned back to look at Josh whose face had gone stark white.

“Lookie here boys. Little Joshy got himself a new friend. Just what this fucking school needs, another freak,” Hank said as he placed his Coke bottle in front of Josh. The other boys followed suit lining up Coke bottles in front of him and laughing.

Shane narrowed her eyes, but said nothing.

“We thought you might be lonely so we bought you these to keep you company,” Ike said then leaned down to talk directly to Shane.

“You like Coke, freak?” he asked.

Shane knew there was hidden meaning behind the Coke bottle reference, one that made her stomach churn. She was about to answer when Josh spoke up.

“Leave her alone Ike, she’s got nothing to do with this. Why don’t you just go away and leave us alone,” Josh said. “And take these with you,” he bravely added pushing the Coke bottles away from him.

Deuce pushed Ike aside and got in Josh’s face. “Well that was rude,” he said with a snarl.

“Fucking loser,” Justin said then spit on the ground at Deuce’s feet.

All eyes turned to him with looks of astonishment. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Cujo challenged.

“Nothing, except I don’t like games or people who play them. He either means business or he doesn’t. Coke bottle play is not anything I’m into. It’s fucking gay as shit. The whole purpose of our brotherhood is to eliminate these abominations of nature, not play with them. It’s immoral and beneath me,” Justin said coldly.

Shane couldn’t believe Justin’s transformation. He was frighteningly in character. It wasn’t just his appearance either, she’d gotten used to that the last few days, it was his whole attitude, his demeanor…if she didn’t know better, she’d be seriously scared right now.

Cujo looked at him with new respect.

“He’s right. We’ve been wasting our time with these stupid games. It’s time we got serious, to let everyone know we mean business. We got to make our mark, and make it in a big way,” Cujo said.

“What do you have in mind, Cuj?” Rufie asked.

“We need to take out someone big, someone that will make others stand up and take notice,” Cujo said. Justin knew the ‘others’ Cujo was referring to was his father and his father’s associates.

“But who?” Ike asked.

As if on cue, Brian walked, more like stumbled, into the lunch room, clumsily tripping over his own feet, nearly dropping the lunch tray in his hands.

“Him,” Cujo said nodding his head towards the new Chemistry teacher. Everyone turned to look at who he was referring to, and even though Justin was prepared for this moment, a deadly rage filled him at Cujo’s words. He just marked his lover for death…

 

**********************************

 

Justin climbed up the trestle to the second story of the boarding house where Brian was staying. He knew he was going to catch hell for breaking protocol this way but he just had to see him. They had agreed to keep their distance from each other for the duration of this assignment so not to blow their cover. If one needed to get a message to the other they’d do so through Cynthia or Ted, but Justin had a message he needed to deliver to Brian in person, regardless of the risks.

What happened today in the lunchroom, and afterwards at Cujo’s house where he met Cujo’s father and his friends, had alerted Justin to just how precarious their mission was. Justin had his share of dangerous assignments in the past, but none that affected him as much as this one did. The stakes here were too high. Risking his own life was part of the job, but now Brian’s life was at risk. He could lose Brian if he wasn’t very, very careful, and that realization brought on another realization. He couldn’t, wouldn’t want to, survive losing Brian…He would take a bullet for Brian in a heart beat rather than risk losing him. However he didn’t want to die without letting the man know how he felt. He owed that to him…and to himself.

The heel of his boot got caught in one of the trestle rungs jerking Justin back from his ascent, and his thoughts. He mentally cursed his own carelessness. He pulled his foot free and proceeded stealthily up towards Brian’s window. The wind whipped around him creating a whistling noise which drowned out the creaking sound the window made as he lifted it opened. He was surprised to find it unlocked and grew angry at Brain for being so reckless with his own safety. He quietly crawled through the window and into the darkened room. His feet barely touched the floor when someone grabbed him from behind and pressed a knife to his throat. For a split second fear ruled him…fear that someone got there before he did with intentions of attacking Brian in his sleep. His heart pounded and he prayed like he never prayed before that he wasn’t too late.

Working on pure adrenaline, he elbowed his assailant in the stomach causing him to double over. The maneuver unfortunately resulted in the knife cutting into his skin as his attacker struggled to keep his position of power over him. Justin’s combat training reflexes kicked in as it became apparent that this guy wasn’t going down easy. He reached up and grabbed hold of the arm that was holding the knife to his neck, pivoted, then flipped him over his shoulder and onto his back. The man landed with a loud, familiar, “Ommph!”, but it was too late, Justin was already in motion, propelling his body through the air with the intent of landing on top of the man.

Brian sheathed his knife and rolled away from Justin’s impending attack, realizing at the last minute who it was that came sneaking through his window.

Justin hit the floor hard. Without missing a beat he push himself up but Brian was already on him, throwing himself on to his blonde, effectively pinning his body to the floor. Justin bucked up instinctively, almost dislodging Brian.

“Enough!” Brian yelled into Justin’s ear. He was breathing heavy, more from fear over what could have happened, than from exertion.

Justin immediately stopped his struggles.

“Fuck! Thank God it’s you!” he said. Brian eased up and Justin turned onto his back and looked up into Brian’s eyes.

“I was afraid I was too late,” he said as he reached up and wrapped his arms around Brian’s back.

Brian gathered his blond in his arms and hugged him tight, breathing a sigh of relief over having avoided a potentially deadly situation.

“Stupid twat,” he said, burying his face in his neck. He felt the sticky wetness of blood against his lips and pulled back frantically.

“You’re hurt, I need to….”

“NO! Don’t move, I’m fine, it’s just a scratch,” Justin said not wanting to let Brian go.

“Justin, you’re bleeding! I need to see how bad it is, let me up,” Brian said. But Justin shook his head violently and held on tight.

“No,” Justin insisted.

Brian reflexively licked the blood from his lips, unmindful of the implications of his actions.

“Justin, what happened? What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked more concerned over the cause of his blond’s odd behavior.

“I had to come… I had to tell you,” Justin said.

“Whatever it is, you should have just told Cynthia! I would have gotten the message a lot quicker and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt!” Brian’s said harshly.

“I don’t care, I…” Justin stopped, his throat was suddenly dry. He took a big risk in coming here to tell him how he felt but now that he had the opportunity, words eluded him.

Brian saw the intense urgency in those cobalt blue eyes and froze. Something was definitely up with his blonde.

“What is it?” he asked, growing more alarmed by the minute. He wondered what could have happened to provoke Justin into breaking protocol, placing himself in danger.

Justin’s mind went blank under Brian’s scrutiny. Several long seconds, which seemed like hours passed when all of a sudden, without thought or warning, he heard the words, “I…I don’t love you…” tumbled from his mouth. He was shocked at his own admission, yet deep down, knew he spoke the truth. The only truth Brian would hear.- would understand. Declarations of ‘love’ would not be received well by Brian, and for good reason. It was a hollow sentiment no doubt used on his hazel eyed lover many times in the past. Brian didn’t trust the validity of those words. Not saying I love you to Brian was the greatest and purest declaration of love Justin could give him.

Brian was taken aback by Justin’s words. It was the last thing he expected to hear from his blonde. His heart clenched painfully in his chest but he pushed his pain aside, concerned that Justin hit his head during their struggle which would explain his odd behavior and confession. He reached around and felt Justin’s head for any bumps. Justin pushed his hand away.

“I’m fine! I know what I’m saying! I came here to tell you I don’t fucking love you Brian! Do you understand that?” Justin asked, his emotions were on overload and tears started forming in his eyes.

Brian looked down at him with tight lips.

“Yeah, I understand,” he said in a deadpan voice and started to lift himself up from Justin’s body.

“Let’s get your neck cleaned up,” he said.

“NO!” Justin shouted and pulled him back down on top of him.

“I don’t think you do understand!” he said feeling more frustrated then he’d ever felt. He had to make Brian understand, which he knew wasn’t going to be easy considering the man’s stubbornness on the topic, still, it was important he try. He took a deep breath and chose his words carefully.

“Love is just a word Brian; it has no real meaning other than what people put to it. It’s the most misused and over used word in the English language. Most people cling to the notion of love as if it was this magic panacea for everything. But I know better, we know better… Love can be cruel and spiteful. It seduces you with unrealistic promises of ‘happily ever after’ when in reality there is no such thing. And when people find that out, they then use it as an excuse for the most abhorrent of behaviors. I fucking hate the word and all the bullshit expectations that come with it! Why the fuck would I ever use it to describe how I feel about you? There is no one word that completely embodies all that you are…all that you mean to me. You’re my friend, my confidant, my lover…I trust you completely, I’d do anything for you…you know that. You’ve become such an integral part of who I am I can’t imagine you not in my life at this point, or at any point in the future. Yet I expect nothing from you or our relationship. I’m just very grateful for every minute we have together. Now you can call that what you will, but I won’t demean it by calling it love,” Justin said, with such passion and conviction it tore at Brian’s heart.

He understood exactly what his blond was saying. They had a special bond, a connection that went deeper than the superficial understanding of the word ‘love’ used by most people. People fell in and out of ‘love’ all the time, as if it was a disposable commodity, but he doubted his and Justin’s ‘connection’ would be so easily severed. He knew deep down inside, that whatever ‘this’ thing they had between them, it was real, more real than most people’s definition of love. Yes, he understood perfectly how putting that label, or any label on what they shared would be an injustice and an insult to something so special.

He pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he starred down at his blonde.

“So you came here, in the middle of the night, breaking protocol, just to tell me you don’t love me?” Brian asked, a wry smile started to form on his lips.

Justin smiled one of his Sunshine smiles that rivaled the moon’s beam.

“Yeah, I did,” he said with cocky confidence.

“Then I guess you won’t mind if I tell you that I don’t love you either,” he said.

Justin let out a small, elated laugh.

“Not in the least,” he said then leaned up and captured his mouth in a hot, searing kiss that lasted until the necessity for air became urgent.

Brian broke away from the kiss and trailed his lips along Justin’s jaw line, down to his neck. He mouth came into contact once again with the sticky blood that was still oozing from his wound and he boldly and recklessly licked at it. Justin gasped and pulled away.

“Don’t…” he said.

Brian brought his mouth back up to his blond and kissed him, making Justin taste his own blood. Justin moaned and greedily sucked on Brian’s lips, nipping and licking away at the blood.

“This is too dangerous…” he managed to say in between kisses.

Brian rubbed his blood tainted lips across Justin’s provocatively.

“Too late, I’ve already tasted you. Besides, we’ve both tested negative recently, and aside from our little incident free sexual romp up in New York, I don’t think either of us has been with anyone else…or am I wrong?” Brian asked the question with a sincerity that brooked nothing short of complete honesty.

“No. There’s been no one but you,” Justin breathed into Brian’s mouth.

Brian felt, more than heard, the honesty in his words. His chest rumbled out a deep guttural groan in response as he moved his mouth back to the forbidden nectar. He’d never been into blood play before, not many gay men were, due to the risks involved, and he certainly never thought he’d be this turned on by it. In fact, he wouldn’t have been if it had involved either of them purposely drawing blood from the other, but this unexpected gift….the sweet metallic taste of his lover’s life blood sliding over his lips, onto his tongue and down his throat was the most erotic experience he’s ever had. He was literally taking the essence of his blonde in. Drinking from his life’s source….

Justin was drifting in a euphoric state of ecstasy. He threaded his fingers through Brian’s hair and held him tighter against his neck. Having Brian taste him like this, draw from him, was a sensation like none other. The wound was not deep, barely a scratch actually, still it felt like his whole being was pouring into his lover through his tiny wound, making them one in a way that was sinfully taboo, yet wildly erotic.

“Yes… oh God, yes, yessss,” Justin hissed mindlessly.

His whole body hummed with sensations both familiar, and foreign to him. He started humping his cock up against Brian’s in wanton abandonment. Brian responded in kind, grinding and rotating his cock against Justin’s, each rubbing the other raw through their clothes, creating a friction that was so burning hot that it wasn’t long before they were crying out their pleasures, climaxing in their pants. But it wasn’t enough. Brian needed more, his cock almost instantly hardened again as he hastily divested Justin of his clothes, while shedding his own in the process, desperate to feel his blonds’ skin against his. All the while, his tongue and lips lapped at Justin’s wounded neck.

Justin whimpered under Brian’s ministrations, his body submitted willingly, yearning for more. He lifted his legs and wrapped them around Brian’s waist, pushing his hungry hole up against his lovers pulsating cock. Brian pulled back and stared down at his blond, his eyes glazed over with wanton lust.

“I’m going to fuck you raw,” he rasped out roughly. Justin looked up at him and any thoughts of resistance fled. He was burning with desire, Brian could have asked him to slit his wrist open for him and he would have.

“Do it,” he said right before claiming his mouth in a hard kiss. Brian growled and pressed into his blond, breaching his tight hole in one swift plunge. Justin cried out in pure undiluted pleasure/pain. He’d never fucked raw before and the feeling was beyond anything he could have imagined.

“Oh God Briiii!” Justin cried out in awe unable to voice the staggering intense feelings coursing through him. The sensation of hot, silky hard skin pulsing inside of him, pushing and pulling at the exposed, raw nerves that lined his walls was too incredible to put to words. He felt every inch of his lovers cock caresses and fill him creating a heat that bordered on burning pain…and when the hot throbbing flesh of Brian’s cock brush up against his prostrate he thought he’d died and gone to Heaven. What they were doing was sooo incredibly erotic, hot, intense…yet…wrong, forbidden and dangerous and Justin knew the only reason either of them ventured down this road was out of desperation. A shared fear that this miraculous moment may be the last they’d have to experience the joys of a union without barriers, and they chose to experience it with each other.

Justin pushed all thoughts of the extreme dangers of their assignment which led them to this reckless, provocative insanely erotic moment aside as Brian pushed deeper inside of him.

 

Brian kept his gaze fixed on his blond, not wanting to miss one single emotion that flit across those magnificent midnight blue eyes as passion, awe, fear and desire melded together in their depths…he didn’t want to miss one twitch, one breathless shudder, one shocked expression of pain and ecstasy wash across his beautiful face. Brian branded all of it to memory, under no delusion of the gravity of their actions. Yet the risk of not stealing this moment was greater than the risk the moment actually carried.

One thing Brian learned in life was that it was never predictable. He never could have predicted surviving his abusive childhood intact, especially during those times when his father was whipping and beating him to the point of unconsciousness…yet he did…  
He never could have predicted the impact his affair with an older man would have on him when he was just fourteen; leaving him bitter and cynical for years to come…yet it did…He never could have predicted ever wanting to bring an innocent child into this world, especially after surviving his own wretched childhood, no less loving one as much as he did Gus…yet he did...And never in his whole life could he ever have predicted that he’d be here, in this moment, trusting a man he’d just met a few short weeks ago enough to be fucking him raw, and loving every fucking minute of it heedless of the risks…yet here he was…

No, Brian fucking Kinney could have never predicted any of these things, nor could he predict what the consequences would be in the morning for this actions tonight and, for the first time, Brian fucking Kinney truly didn’t give a fuck.

He closed his eyes then and allowed himself the luxury of just ‘feeling’ this moment. He pushed deeper into his blonde, reveling in the tight, moist heat of his lover. He moved with such painstaking slowness in and out wanting to maximize each rippling electric frisson created by hard pulsing skin sinfully sliding against unprotected warm, yielding flesh that squeezed and spasmed around him with each stroke.

And then, just like that, once again, the unpredictable happened…in a rush of blinding passion, both men came simultaneously. Their climaxes crashed upon them with ruthless intensity, ripping from them their strength, breath and screams. The walls in the small rented room of the boarding house shook from the force of their release. They held on to each other as waves and waves of indescribable pleasure coursed through every nerve ending in their bodies.

It was nothing short of miraculous that neither man passed out from the astoundingly erotic assault on their senses. Minutes, maybe hours - who could tell? - passed by before either could move. Entwined limbs, sweat soaked bodies, beating hearts, heavy gasping breaths and numbed brains just ‘existed’ until the world righted itself again. Their union left them more vulnerable than both men had ever been or ever wanted to be, and the feeling wasn’t entirely unwelcomed. Brian forced his completely and utterly sated body to move. Justin stirred beneath him in silent protest.

“Sunshine…” he breathed against his ear. Justin heard the tinge of regret in his sigh.

“What’s past is past Bri, and should be past any remorse. No apologies, no regrets, remember?” Justin panted out in an emotion filled voice. His face was wet with tears, tears he hadn’t realized he cried during their intense union.

Brian lifted himself up and looked down at his blonde. Never, he thought, did he ever see such beauty as he was seeing now in his blonds’ expression. It was pure, open and unapologetic. Justin was completely at peace with his decision to face fear in the face and just…trust him. He gave himself to Brian with no reservation, and had absolutely no regrets, whatever the morrow may bring. It was a gift he didn’t deserve and it humbled him.

“Yeah, I remember…” Brian said leaning down to gently brush his lips against his blonds’.

“And I’ll always remember…” he said when he pulled away, wishing this night would never end. But as with all things, eventually it did.

They moved to the bed sometime later and proceeded to make love until the early morning hours at which time Justin had to reluctantly sneak back out of Brian’s window, and back to his room at Ted’s aunt and uncle’s house where he was staying.

As he lay in the small bed his ‘foster parents’ made up for him in the guest room, he replayed every moment of the magical night in his head over and over again. He could still feel Brian in him, on him, all over him and he doubted that feeling would ever leave. He was truly and well branded by his lover; in awe of the hold he had over him. A hold Justin never wanted to sever.

He took a deep breath, still smelling his lover on him, and held it. He closed his eyes and silently sent out a message to God, the universe, or whatever/whoever was out there, asking…. ‘Does it ever get better than tonight…?’

He laughed quietly into the dark empty room at his own silly romantic notions. He actually expected some kind of answer/sign from above. The truth was, he’d have to wait and find out. Life was unpredictable. He dared not assume he’d ever get another moment like he had tonight. It was his moment to take with him to the end of his days which, he begrudgingly accepted, could come sooner than he’d like.

In just a few hours, Justin would have to once again don his hateful cover and meet with the very people who wanted to see him, if they knew who he really was, and his lover dead. One way or another Justin vowed, they were going to pay. For terrorizing and hurting those poor kids in that school…for all the misery they brought down upon society as a whole in general, and most importantly, for daring to hurt the man who tonight, had forever changed his life…love, as he said in all honesty earlier that evening, would never be a word good enough to describe his complete and utter devotion to Brian.

 

A devotion, that unbeknownst to him, would soon be tested…


	12. Chapter 12

“Whatccchhaa do’in, Jake?” The nauseating sugar sweet voice oozed over Justin causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. He knew that voice, it was the same everywhere. That was the voice of trouble.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Justin snapped as he took a drag off his cigarette.

The last thing he needed right now was another round of cat and mouse (it was becoming increasingly clear that he was the mouse) with Cujo’s girlfriend. God she was a royal pain in the ass. She flirted outrageously with him when Cujo wasn’t around, which he hadn’t been for the past two days.

Two days…it had been two days since anyone had seen or heard from Cujo. Justin had gone by his house yesterday to see why he ditched school but his father told him that his son wasn’t home. Justin didn’t believe him, in fact, his instincts were telling him something was very wrong. He came into school this morning, hoping that Cujo would show up today but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Justin was starting to get worried. He needed to be near the kid to see what he was up to. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. None of his gang seemed to know, or at least they weren’t telling him if they did, where Cujo was. According to Genie though - who he tended to believe only because she had ulterior motives to tell him the truth about her boyfriend’s whereabouts - no one had heard from him, not even Deuce.

The brazen girl ran her hand up Justin’s arm and leaned in towards him. “Why are you so mean to me? I’m just trying to be nice,” she crooned in his ear.

Justin took another drag off his cigarette and turned to her, exhaling the smoke in her face.

“Either try something or someone else. Not interested,” Justin said, then turned to ignore her once more.

It was lunchtime and he had gone outside to have a smoke, and hopefully catch up with Rufie. Besides Genie, Rufie was the only one of the gang that would talk to him outside of Cujo’s presence. Ike and Hank were too afraid of him and made a point to avoid him and Deuce made no secret that he plain straight out hated him. Though when Cujo was around, he hid his hatred very well. Justin knew sooner or later there was going to be a showdown with ‘number two’. It was unavoidable if he wanted to move up in ranks. Right now he was number three in Cujo’s little ‘army’ of skinheads. He needed to push Deuce out to get close enough to Cujo to gain his trust and in order to accomplish that he had to discredit Deuce in Cujo’s eyes. The only thing people like Cujo respected was force, and unfortunately that’s how Justin was going to have to deal with Deuce, by force. It wasn’t a task he relished, but it was necessary. He was finding that there were many distasteful things…things bordering on immoral… that he and Brian had to do in this case that was ‘necessary’ in order to gain the greater good. Justin was starting to wonder if the cost was worth it but then quickly remembered the young innocent faces in the files of the kids who’d been terrorized, beaten and in some cases, raped by Cujo and his gang and was satisfied that the ends, at least in this case, justified the means. The violence was escalating and someone needed to stop these boys. If not them, then who?

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Cujo?” Genie taunted.

Justin let out a bitter laugh.

“Yeah. He might kick my ass; that’s if he ever shows up,” he said.

Genie made a ‘pffssting’ noise. “He’ll show up eventually. He always does,” she said.

Justin’s head snapped around to stare at her. “What do you mean, ‘he always does’? He’s disappeared like this before?”

Genie moved in front of Justin and pressed her body against his, silently daring him to push her away, which the little bitch knew he wouldn’t. She wasn’t as stupid as Cujo thought. She knew Justin wanted to get close to her boyfriend and she just positioned herself so that if he wanted to get any information from her he’d have to put up with her advances. He stood perfectly still and stared her down.

“You’re hot…” she purred.

Justin raised his eyebrow. “And you’re crazy if you think it won’t get back to your boyfriend that you’re practically dry humping me out here in the courtyard where everyone can see us. Aren’t you afraid of him?” he countered.

Genie huffed out a husky laugh that he was sure she thought was sexy and ran her other hand down his pant leg.

“No one in this school would dare tell him. Not even his beloved Deuce,” she said, then laughed again. “Especially not Deucey,” she drawled in a tone that insinuated there were reasons, of an intimate nature, why Deuce wouldn’t rat her out.

Justin wondered if Cujo knew his girl was fucking his best friend. If he didn’t, Justin could use that bit of information to put a wedge between him and his second in command. It was a risky move though, chances were that Cujo not only knew Deuce was fucking his girl, he probably sanctioned it, and if Justin brought it to Cujo’s attention he’d be pegged the rat. Better he keep his mouth shut, like everyone else apparently did, and probably for the same reasons. That left just one question in Justin’s mind. Did Genie know she was being whored out? Justin suspected she did and used it to her advantage. Like right now. Her gut instincts were telling her that Deuce’s days, and perhaps Cujo’s, were numbered. There was a ‘new kid’ in town. One who presented a serious challenge to Cujo’s reign and she wanted to secure her position with the winner…and her money was on Justin.

No, Genie wasn’t a stupid girl at all.

Justin sneered at her. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not Deuce. You’re wasting your time…and mine,” he said.

Genie let out a disappointed sigh. “Pity, you really are hot. And I’m reeaally good,” she purred as her hand ventured lower. Justin’s stomach churned.

“Come on…what’s the harm? We can go down to the janitor’s lounge, it’s empty this time of day and Big Mike’s holed up in Miss Miller’s office fixin some shelves for her.” Genie moved her hand directly over Justin’s cock and started rubbing him through his pants, oblivious to his discomfort. When she didn’t get the immediate response she was looking for she emphasized her intentions by wrapping her long fingers boldly around his cock through the fabric of his cargo pants. Justin wanted to vomit, and maybe would have if the name ‘Big Mike’ hadn’t popped out at him.

“Big Mike? Who the fuck is he and why should I care?” Justin asked pretending not to notice he was basically being given a hand job right out in the open.

‘God just how low am I willing to go?’ he wondered disgusted with himself.

Genie laughed that God awful raspy laugh she thought was seductive and tightened her grip on his cock. Justin barely managed to restrain from flinching as her fingernails dug into him.

“My, my I forget how cherry you are. Big Mike is Cujo’s man on the inside. They’re second cousins or some shit. But that information is private,” she whispered to him in a conspiratorial tone as she continued to rub and squeeze his cock.

Justin stole a quick glance around the yard to see who was watching, and was surprised that no one was. In fact, it was as if everyone was purposely not watching them. He turned his attention back to Genie and gave her what he hoped was a lustful glare. If the girl was willing to give him that gem of information, - (that he knew Cynthia heard through the mic in his earring and was on it as soon as the name left Genie’s mouth) - he was sure she had much more she’d share if she thought she could get ‘in’ with him. She was a creature of survival and she sensed Justin was going to take Cujo down. And not being the stupid girl everyone believed her to be, she was dead on in her assumption; Justin was going to take Cujo down…by any means possible.

“Come on baby, let’s go,” Genie said taking his compliant look as a green light for more action. She pulled back, grabbed his hand and led him across the school yard, in through the back doors where the gym was located, and down the stairwell that led to the janitor’s lounge.

Justin spotted Brian coming out of Miss Halloway’s classroom, who he had been ‘chumming’ up with to gain information, on his way and groaned. They exchanged passing looks and for one fleeting second, Justin saw pain flash in Brian’s eyes, before he was able to mask it. But it was there and Justin felt his whole fucking world crash in on him in that moment. He was about to whore himself out in the name of this fucking assignment and Brian knew it! Worse, he knew there was nothing he could do to stop Justin without jeopardizing their whole case, and possibly people’s lives.

‘Well, I guess I just found out how low I can… am willing to go’ his bereaved mind acknowledged as he found himself alone inside the janitor’s lounge with Genie.

She moved towards him, lifting her blouse up over her head in the process. Justin reached out and grabbed her wrists, stopping her from removing her bra as well.

“How do I know I can trust you?” he asked, pulling her roughly against him.

Genie gasped in fear, and excitement. She obviously liked it rough for someone so young…

‘She’s fucking 17 for God’s sake!’ The cold sobering thought washed over him. There was no way he could go through with this.

“Oh baby, you can trust me. I’m on your side…” she purred and rubbed her tits against his chest.

Justin took a deep breath and tried not to recoil from her touch.

“Who said anything about sides?” he countered in an attempt steer her attention away from his cock and on to anything else.

Genie laughed. “Oh baby there are always sides. I ain’t as dumb as those jackasses think I am. I felt the winds shift the moment you blew into town. You’re the real thing, Cujo’s not. He’s weak and pathetic just like this daddy says. Why do you think Cujo hasn’t been to school? His daddy beat his ass so bad again he won’t show up until the bruises go away. He thinks no one knows, but we know. Every time Cuj disappoints his daddy his daddy beats his ass real good,” she said as she ran her tongue over her lips seductively several times before bringing it to rest in the corner of her mouth, the pink tip jutted out in invitation.

Justin was shocked at how seductive the gesture was and the context in which it was used. It was as if the thought of her boyfriend getting his ass kicked excited her. It was disturbing on so many levels...

“Mmmm….I can’t wait to taste you,” she said not missing a beat in her seduction as started to slide her body down Justin’s. But Justin held on to her, not letting her make it quite to her knees. She was caught mid way, her face level with his stomach. She looked up at him expectantly.

“How did Cujo disappoint his daddy this time?” Justin asked holding her gaze.

Genie moaned in disappointment. “Come on Jake! Don’t you want me to suck your cock? I wasn’t kidding. I’m real fucking good,” she said and Justin believed her.

Justin squeezed her wrists tight and shook her. A sexual gleam shone in her eyes at the act.

“First, you tell me what I want to know,” he said.

“Sure baby…anything you want….From what I hear, that new Chem teacher reported him for making threats against him and other students. He banned him from his class. Cujo’s daddy found out and freaked. He wants Cujo to graduate. He’d be the first boy in the family with a high school diploma. Without that class, Cuj can’t graduate. I can only imagine how bad his daddy beat him this time,” Genie said and once again Justin wanted to vomit as he gleaned the almost gleeful look in her eyes. She was a blood thirsty little bitch.

“What? No sympathy for your boyfriend?” Justin sneered.

Genie laughed unaffected by Justin’s hostility. “I think I’ll save my sympathy for poor Mr. Carter. I wouldn’t want to be him right now. If Cujo don’t take him out, Deuce will. I swear that boy is gay for Cuj the way he follows him around and does his bidding!” she said half laughing.

Justin knew Brian had reported Cujo in an attempt to provoke the boy into action. Apparently it worked; too well. They were out for his blood. Justin needed to get to Cujo to find out what he was planning before it was too late. Deuce sure as fuck wasn’t going to tell him. Unwittingly, or maybe not, again Justin marveled at the girl’s cunningness, Genie hit the nail right on the head. Deuce was hot for Cujo. The past two days had proven that to him. Deuce hated him with a passion that went beyond a best buddy feeling like he was losing his friend. Deuce wanted Cujo all to himself, even knowing he could never have him the way he wanted him, he’d settle for just being near him and he’d kill, if he had to, anyone who threatened to take that position away from him. Justin told Brian that he believed Deuce’s attachment to Cujo bordered on sexual desire - (via Cynthia, since he hadn’t seen or spoken to Brian in the past two days either…not since their amazing night together…which only made his current situation that much worse) - and Brian agreed. Both their gay-dars were telling them that Deuce was a closet homosexual. His hatred for Justin stemmed from jealousy.

Genie pulled her wrists from Justin’s grasp bringing his thoughts back to her. He needed to get out of this predicament without pissing her off. If he rejected her now, she’d get angry and vindictive and an angry vindictive Genie was almost as dangerous as a jealous Deuce. Almost….

He reluctantly let go of her wrist and inwardly cringed at the satisfied smile that spread across her face. She lowered her hands and started unbuttoning his pants.

‘Think Taylor! Think! You can’t let her suck your dick! Your cover will definitely be blown, and not in a positive life affirming way, if she puts her mouth anywhere near your cock!’… Justin’s mind rebelled, knowing that there was no fucking way he was going to be able to get a hard-on having a seventeen year old GIRL suck his cock! No amount of daydreaming about Brian was going to make that happen.

 

Brian…

After what they shared the other night, this was nothing short of an act of betrayal on his part. He let Brian fuck him raw, now he was about to let this…this woman/child, suck him off. He didn’t know how Brian could ever look at him again, no less touch him. It was immoral, not to mention illegal and he could spend some serious time behind bars for statuary rape…Yet even knowing this, he couldn’t stop. He needed Genie to get to Cujo. He was confident she’d work with him to bring her boyfriend down; she was salivating at the mouth with just the thought of it, but only if he gave her want she wanted… and she wanted him. Getting close to Cujo was key to saving Brian. And nothing took precedence over that. If he had to sell his soul, and possibly lose Brian in the process, then he would…

 

Fate however, or more like divine intervention - (which he was sure was exactly the case since Cynthia was proving to be an angel more and more these days…) - intervened as Lucas barged in on them just as Genie started pulling his pants down.

“Ohhhh…I, umm…” Lucas stammered.

“Fuck!” Genie turned on the intruder. “Get the fuck out you retard!” she spat out at him, her lips curled in an ugly snarl.

The derogatory slur was expected since Lucas was under cover as the slightly mentally challenged new janitor, Lennie Small.

“I…I…ssoorry ma miss, bu..buttt I waaa sen sennt t too ge gett sometin...” Lucas stuttered.

Genie sprang to her feet and faced Lucas with her hands on her hips. “Listen you fucking idiot, if you don’t get out of here now I’m going to tell Big Mike! Trust me, you don’t want to get on Big Mike’s bad side. He’ll get you fired, and I doubt you’ll find another charity job like this one, you old retarded fuck!” Genie ranted.

‘Oh, ouch’, Lucas thought. Cynthia was right; this girl was a vicious little bitch.

“Bbbuuutt…it was Bi Bi Big Mike who sennnt me!” Lucas whined like a petulant child.

“He saaidd to ge get his too tool box. Iff..iffin I da doon don’t, he go go gooonn na be rel reall ma mad!” Lucas was dragging his affliction out seeing how angry and frustrated the girl was getting with him the more he stuttered. Better she focus her energy and anger on him, he thought, than on Justin.

When Brian saw her leading Justin down to the janitor’s lounge, he knew what was up and immediately called him in to rescue Justin. From himself. He knew Justin would do whatever it took to bring down the scum who were attacking the innocent children in this school, even if it meant sacrificing himself. He told Lucas that he’d hold him personally responsible if Justin did anything he’d regret later on. Lucas was relieved he arrived in time. He hadn’t experienced the wrath of Kinney to date, but he’s heard enough stories to not want that pleasure.

Genie was livid with rage. Justin decided to jump in at this point. “Fuck this,” he said in an agitated voice as he pulled up his pants. Genie turned to gape at him. He bent over and retrieved her blouse from the floor and threw it at her.

“I thought you said this place was safe? Stupid bitch. Next time don’t jerk me around,” he warned.

If fire could shoot out of Genies eyes at that moment she would have burned a hole through his chest.

“Fine. Next time I’ll find a better place and you make sure YOU don’t jerk ME around!” she said pulling her blouse over her head. With one last hostile look at Lucas, she turned and left the lounge, slamming the door behind her. Justin let out a big relieved sigh.

“You ok?” Lucas asked, reverting back to his normal self once they were alone.

“She’s a fucking teenage girl!” he snapped, though he knew he shouldn’t have. Lucas just saved his ass. His anger was misdirected at him and Lucas knew it. He asked again, only this time he approached Justin and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

Justin lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose…a habit he picked up from Brian.

“No,” he said honestly.

Lucas gently squeezed his shoulder. “It’s ok. Everyone knows how hard this case is on you, Justin. No one faults you for what you believe you have to do to protect these kids. ESPECIALLY not Brian! He’s torn up that you’re in this position. He risked blowing our cover by pulling me into boys’ bathroom so he could send me to rescues you from that manipulative bitch. He also gave me a message to give to you. He said to tell you, and I quote…

‘Love and honor are just words with no meaning other than what people put to them and therefore should be given no credence. Only through one’s actions can one’s true intentions be determined,’

I thought it an odd and inappropriate thing to say considering the situation,” Lucas said shaking his head, “but he insisted you’d understand. He also said to remind you that you are an artist at heart, and as an artist you should know, and again I quote, that …‘art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth…’” Lucas said.

Picasso.

Justin could have cried right then and there if he let himself. Brian just quoted Picasso and used his own words from the other night to tell him he understood how difficult this was for him, and that he believed in him. He trusted his judgment. Here he was, willing to debase himself with a teenage girl for this case, and Brian was quoting Picasso to him…. ‘Was it any wonder why he ‘didn’t love’ the man?’ he thought with a wry smile.

He reached out and pulled Lucas in for a quick hug. “Do me a favor Luc, tell him I still don’t love him…only more,” he said.

Lucas pulled back with a puzzled expression on his face.

Justin laughed. “He’ll understand.”

Lucas shook his head. “You two have the strangest relationship,” he said.

Justin sighed, “We sure do…” he said.

Lucas left Justin alone in the lounge, not wanting them to be seen leaving together, and went to give the strange message to his boss.

Justin took a few extra minutes to gather himself as he replayed Brian’s words in his head. Not only was Brian telling him that he understood what he was going through, but that he supported him. He might disagree with his methods, but he didn’t, nor, Justin believed, would he ever question his motives. The knowledge was both humbling and elating.

Yeah, Justin could have cried from the pure joy of knowing how much Brian cared for and respected him…and he would have, if he didn’t have more pressing matters to attend to. Matters of life and death.

 

Part 2

 

“Your Ipod is sick cool, Josh!” Shane shouted over the music blaring in her ears from the tiny headphones of Josh’s Ipod.

Josh reached over and took the Ipod from her and switched songs. Shane’s eyes widened as she heard the lyrics to Muse’s “Uprising” come through the headphones.

‘They will not force us…’  
They will stop degrading us…  
They will not control us…  
We will be victorious…

Shane pulled the headphones from her ears, “Wow Josh, got some meaning behind that song you want to share?” she asked.

Josh laughed. He liked Shane. She was cool, different…like him. They had gotten surprisingly close in the very short time they’d known each other. He felt himself in a much better mood since he met her. Well that could also be due to the fact he didn’t have to deal with that psycho Cujo for the past few days. The whole school breathed easier when he wasn’t around.

“I like that song. It’s relevant,” he said.

Shane plopped herself down on the wicker chair in his bedroom and stared up at him. This was the second time he’d invited her over and into his ‘inner sanctum,’ as he liked to call it. Josh, she quickly discovered, had no friends. He trusted no one at the school and she believed the only reason why he trusted her, well enough to invite her to his house, was because she wasn’t from his school.

“Relevant, huh? How so?” she asked.

Josh let out a bitter laugh. “You know how. Relevant because it’s how I feel. No matter what Cujo and his fucking band of psycho’s do to me, I won’t let them win,” he said with a conviction that astonished and impressed Shane.

“No matter what huh? I’d be careful if I were you, those creeps look like they’re capable of doing some real bad shit,” she said.

“You’ve no idea how bad. They’re evil. Truly evil,” Josh said, his voice growing increasingly tight, his skin flushed.

Shane narrowed her eyes as she debated whether she should push him to confide in her.

“How bad was it?” she asked on impulse, hoping she hadn’t miscalculated and scared the boy off.

Josh just shrugged his shoulders. “Bad enough, but hey, I’m still here,” he said casting her a sly, victorious grin.

Shane couldn’t help but smile back. “You’re one tough little fucker, Josh Harron. Has anyone ever told you that before?” she said in all honesty.

Josh let out a genuine laugh this time with no bitterness attached. “Not in the last few hours,” he quoted, imitating a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

“Grease 2! Right? Michelle Pfeiffer’s character says that to that good looking guy when he asks if she’s read any good books! God I love that movie…” Shane said with a loud nostalgic sigh. “But Grease one was so MUCH better,” she proclaimed.

“Oh fuck no! Maxwell Caulfield is sooo much hotter than John Travolta!” Josh argued.

 

Shane made a face. “Well I guess, if you like that type of guy,” she said not realizing the opening she just gave Josh. In truth she was thinking of Hunter, and not fishing for some ‘outing’ moment from Josh. Sometimes, however, you get exactly what you ask for.

“I soooo love that type of guy! Have you checked out Todd Snyder? Now he’s fucking hot,” Josh sighed, “but unfortunately he’s also sooo fucking straight. Though it’s really hard to tell these days. Not that there was ever a big gay student population, but there were a few before Cujo started his crusade to rid the school of us. It’s worked for the most part. The ones who haven’t moved have gone into hiding.” Josh rambled on innocently enough, as if he just expected Shane to know, and be ok with it.

“Well, you’re obviously not in hiding, why is that? Aren’t you afraid?” Shane asked.

“Every fucking day of my life. But I won’t be something I’m not. Not for them, not for anyone. They can beat me, rape me, even kill me, but no matter what they do to me, I’ll still be gay in the end, and that means, I win,” Josh said.

Shane’s heart swelled so big her chest hurt. This...kid, was braver than any man or woman she’d ever encountered. She suspected, as Brian did, that he’d already been victimized by Cujo and his boys, yet he faced them bravely the other day in the lunchroom and even tried to protect her from their wrath. His courage only solidified her resolve to see those pricks go down. She stood from the chair and walked over to Josh and put her arm around his shoulder.

“You’ve already won Josh, whether you realize it or not. You’re still here, and you’re still queer,” she said gracing him with a soft grin. Josh smiled and nudged her with his shoulder.

 

“You know, we’re not so very different you and I,” Shane said, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly gender specific,” she proclaimed, hands gesticulating down her body, “Most people don’t consider me ‘normal’ either.”

“Yeah, well who gives a fuck what they think. I think you’re hot for a girl or a guy,” Josh said.

Shane gave his shoulder a tight squeeze. “Yeah, well I think you’re hot too,” she said.

Josh’s face turned serious all of a sudden. “Still, maybe you should, you know, dress more like a girl,” he said uneasily.

Shane frowned and turned him around to look in his eyes, “I don’t want you worrying about me, ok? I can take care of myself,” she said.

Josh pulled her in for a hug. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he choked out in an emotion filled voice. Shane didn’t think her heart could swell more, but it did.

“And I don’t want them to hurt you again. Accept it Harron, we’re in this together now. Together we’ll save Beaver…, God what an awful name…, high school from those homophobic assholes,” Shane said.

“I’m having a hard time saving myself, no less anyone else,” Josh said turning away from her wiping his eyes.

Shane grabbed him by his shoulders and turned him back round to face her.

“It will get better, I promise,” she said holding his gaze.

Josh looked deep into her eyes and for some unfathomable reason, he believed her.

“Josh! Is that boy staying for dinner!?” Josh’s mother’s voice penetrated his bedroom door. Josh rolled his eyes in embarrassment.

“Geeesh mom! Shane is a girl! Can you be more embarrassing? And yeah, she’s staying!” Josh called out, then turned to Shane with a mortified look on his face.

“Sorry about that,” he said.

Shane smiled at him. “Hey, it’s cool, really. I like confusing the adults. Besides, what ever the fuck she’s cooking smells so good she can mistake me for an iguana as long as she feeds me,” she said.

Josh laughed. “Oh don’t worry, she’ll feed you! It’s what she does best,” he said.

Together they went to dinner, each feeling a little better knowing that, at least, they weren’t alone. Shane had her colleagues in the field covering her back and Josh had her…

 

Later that night it would occur to her how ironic that assumption was….

 

Part 3

 

Justin turned the corner of Cornell and 3rd and grimaced at the dilapidated condition of the streets and buildings. It wasn’t that he was offended by this area of town; God knows he’s worked enough slums to be used to them; he was just surprised that Cynthia would choose to meet here, instead of somewhere more… inconspicuous. It wasn’t exactly the type of place a respectable woman should be venturing into, yet she insisted they had to meet here, in one of the worse areas in town to discuss what they were going to do about the new information she’d received earlier.

Apparently she and Ted had picked up a disturbing exchange between Deuce and Genie. The two teens were standing by one of the lockers Lucas had bugged when the conversation took place. They were plotting to take Lucas, aka, Lennie, down. Justin suspected Genie would make a move like that. She was a vicious little bitch and would want revenge on the janitor for interrupting her plans to seduce him. According to Cynthia, the little guttersnipe was cajoling Deuce into action by claiming that the ‘retarded’ janitor had made a pass at her. Being the smart girl Justin knew she was, she also hinted to Deuce how taking revenge on her behalf would gain him favor with Cujo. The girl knew how to play all the angles to her advantage.

Cynthia relayed the conversation to Brian and Brian devised a plan which Cynthia told Justin she needed to tell him in person. Why she wanted to meet here, of all places, was puzzling. Yes, he understood the need for them to be as clandestine as possible, virtually any one they encounter could be an associate of Cujo’s, however it would be less likely that they’d be spotted by anyone connected to Cujo, or his gang, if they met in a more upscale area instead of here, in the slums, where he was sure Cujo had more than one acquaintance. It just didn’t seem logical that Brian would allow this. It wasn’t safe for Cynthia to be here, yet she assured him Brian not only knew where they were meeting, but he also approved.

A garbage can fell over making a loud crashing sound breaking into Justin’s thoughts. Several rats scurried from the fallen debris as a homeless man bent over to search for eatable, or not, food in it. He was about to approach the man and offer him some money when a familiar voice reached his ears.

“Looking for a date, Sunshine?”

Justin whirled around towards the person propositioning him totally unprepared for the sight that greeted him. He’d pretty much seen it all, but never in a million years could he have imagined ever seeing Ms. ‘Uptown society girl’, Cynthia Whitman, looking every bit the part of a two bit street hooker, turning tricks on the streets.

Yet there she stood in all her ‘glory’, seeming oh so…so… disgustingly low… Her hair was ratted as if she never bothered to wash it, yet kept it maintained by over use of stiff hairspray. Her skin was grayish in pallor, with dark circles underlining her eyes, (no doubt the result of a very well done make up job), and her clothes were torn, worn and extremely sleazy. She carried an oversized bag over one shoulder and held a thin cigar in her other hand.

It took Justin several seconds to compose himself hoping his momentary lapse in character over his stunned reaction to her appearance went unnoticed. Cynthia, however, caught the slip. She smiled victoriously at him knowing she managed to throw the blond off guard, even if it were for no more than a second or two, it was there in his eyes. He was a cool one, always so composed, so capable… he exuded an innate confidence that caught their boss’s attention…and kept it, which only made seeing the look of surprised admiration light his face at her guise that much more satisfying.

“Well sugar? I ain’t got all day. Time is money,” she said keeping in character.

Justin immediately followed suit. “How much time and how much money?” he asked.

“Half hour. Twenty five plus the room,” she said tilting her head towards the crumbling brownstone building with the ‘Hotel’ sign hanging askew from it.

“Twenty and we split the room,” Justin countered.

Cynthia smiled in appreciation. “Today’s your lucky day hot shot. I’m in a generous mood,” she said then turned and started walking towards the hotel. Justin wordlessly followed her.

Once inside Justin took the lead in securing them a room. The innkeeper, who had track lines a mile long up each arm, took his money without so much as blinking an eye and handed him the key. No signatures were needed, no check in procedures required. Apparently, the ‘Queens’ Inn’ only rented rooms by the hour. The transaction went smoothly and ten minutes later they were safely ensconced in the bug infested room.

Cynthia went to the window and pulled the shredded curtains aside to peer out. “I don’t think we were followed, but there were some kids hanging over by the park that saw us,” she said, sounding pleased.

It all started to click for Justin. Brian wanted them to meet here precisely because the chances of him being seen with a hooker were good. It was sure to get back to Cujo and that would only add credence to his cover. His boyfriend was a genius, he thought with no little amount of pride.

“Ok now I understand why you wanted to meet here, what I don’t understand is why we needed to meet at all? Why couldn’t you just tell me Brian’s plan through the wire?” Justin said.

Cynthia turned to face him, digging in the bag she was carrying as she did so. “Because I couldn’t get this through the wire, and you’re going to need it,” she said producing a long narrow combat blade from her purse.

Justin whistled low and took the knife from her outstretched hand. He tested the tip and was surprised to find it dull. His eyes shot to her, one brow rising suspiciously.

“It’s a retractable blade,” Cynthia explained. “The handle is filled with synthetic blood. Enough to make a stabbing look real, which is what you’ll need when you take Lucas out,” she said.

“I’m taking Lucas out? How very rude of me,” Justin lazily drawled, casting Cynthia a sly sideward glance which stole the breath from her.

‘God he really is beautiful,’ she thought as those baby blues briefly touched hers before returning his gaze back to the weapon in his hand. No wonder her boss was head over heels in love with him, not that he’d ever admit it, but it was evident in his every action these days. As important as this case was to him, it paled in comparison to his concern for the safety of his ‘blond’. Everyone in and out of the office noticed the change in Brian since Justin came into his life, and everyone, including his best friend, whom Cynthia believed still harbored some deep emotions for Brian, was very glad for the change. Brian, for the first time since she’d known him, was truly happy.

Justin continued to study the knife in his hand oblivious to his coworker’s thoughts. The fabricated metal was very realistic, the wood handle authentic. He turned it over several times looking for the hidden button that released the hold on the blade allowing it to retract before finding it at the base. It was a very credible weapon and he had no doubt it would provide for a very convincing stabbing.

 

“That’s the plan,” Cynthia said clearing her throat, “Cujo’s never killed anyone before, and we doubt Deuce has the nerve. Though that’s what Genie wants him to do, however he wouldn’t make a move like that without Cujo’s ok first. Chances are he’ll just fuck Lucas up a bit…well, probably more than a bit, but he’ll stop short of killing him. If that happens, best we can get him on is aggravated assault and he’ll be tried as a juvi. He’ll be out in less than a year, and Cujo will still be running things. But if you step in and take Lucas out before Deuce gets to him, and get away with it by ‘disposing’ of the body, that will not only make Cujo take notice, but challenge him to ‘up’ his game, if he wants to keep his status as leader. He’ll have to ‘outdo’ you, and that’s where Brian comes in. Cujo already has serious beef with him. We know he won’t let Brian get away with ruining his chances of getting his diploma this year. He’s already ripe for action against him. We’re hoping your attack on Lucas will provoke Cujo into making a move. We need him to plot, and attempt Brian’s murder in order to pin him with a federal offense and be tried as an adult,” Cynthia explained.

Justin kept twisting and turning the knife in his hand, getting use to the feel of it the whole while he listened to Cynthia relay Brian’s plan. He had to admit, it was good one. Real good; just the thing they needed to push Cujo into action. Sooner or later, the boy would kill and they wouldn’t be around to save his victim. Better they create the opportunity for him than wait until a ‘real’ one presented itself. In addition to saving Lucas from a brutal attack by ‘pretending’ to kill him, Justin would also be setting himself up as a possible contender for leader of the gang. Cujo would have to step up his game, as Cynthia so aptly put, to keep the respect and loyalty of his boys. Which meant he would go after Brian.

Brian was a teacher, a much bigger ‘kill’ than a mere slow witted janitor. Once Cujo made that move, they had him. It would be considered a hate crime since news was already spreading fast in the school that the new Chem teacher was gay. Cujo would be charged as an adult, and would serve serious time. The plan was brilliant.

“So when does Brian want me to do the deed?” Justin asked, slipping the knife inside his jacket.

“Tomorrow afternoon. He said to leave the details up to you, but just make sure you have a least one witness to report the deed to Cujo,” Cynthia said.

Justin laughed bitterly, and sadly. This whole case made him sick, but hopefully, it was coming to an end soon.

“Genie,” he said. Cynthia gave him a curious look.

“I’ll ask Genie to meet me at lunchtime behind the old school shed to pick up where we left off. Have Lucas accidentally interrupt us again. He can be fixing an old mower or something in the shed, when he hears us and comes out to investigate. I’ll act pissed over having been interrupted again and hit him. Tell him to swing back, and that’s when I’ll pull the knife and stab him. He’ll go down, and I’ll tell Genie to get lost, that I don’t want her involved. Then I’ll drag Lucas’s body out in the woods; make sure to have someone waiting for us there to take Lucas away. By the end of the week, news will spread about the ‘mysterious’ disappearance of the new janitor, and Cujo will know who did it,” Justin said.

Cynthia nodded her head in approval. Justin’s plan would work. Having Genie witness him stab someone would set him up as the new ‘bad’ boy, which would NOT sit well with Cujo. He’ll have to do something to prove his worth as leader, or step aside, which wasn’t an option if Cujo wanted to keep daddy happy.

“Perfect,” she said then put her hand to her ear, “You got that, Ted?” she asked.

“Got it,” Ted’s voice came back in Cynthia’s earpiece. The one comforting aspect of this case was that Ops in the field were constantly being monitored by either Ted and/or Cynthia. They were their safety net. If one of them was in trouble, the others would instantly know and move in.

“Good, pass it on to Brian,” Cynthia said.

“And tell him to expect a visit afterwards,” Justin said.

Things were about to get real nasty, real fast and he needed to be with Brian, to hold him, before the last phase of their plan went down. Once he ‘stabbed’, Lucas, Cujo would go after Brian. If anything went wrong…..no, Justin couldn’t think of that. He refused to entertain that thought. Nothing would go wrong, it couldn’t…..

“Um, yeah, ok,” Ted said into Justin’s earpiece. Though Ted and Cynthia could hear all the Ops talking simultaneously from the audio system they had set up in the van, they could only talk to one Op in the field at a time. Cynthia didn’t hear what Ted had said to Justin nor did she catch the note of anxiety in his voice. But Justin did, and dread filled him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Um, probably nothing. Most likely just a technical glitch, but I just lost contact with Shane,” he said.

“Fuck!” Justin spat out. ‘so much for fucking safety nets,’ he thought.

“What’s wrong?” Cynthia asked.

“Ted lost contact with Shane,” he hastily explained.

“What was the last thing you heard?” he asked Ted.

“She just left that boy Josh’s house. She was alone, walking back to her safe house. Everything was fine then I heard some rustling, like bushes moving, but the wind was distorting the sound. Then…nothing. It just went dead,” Ted said.

Justin was out of the door before Ted finished his sentence. Cynthia ran after him.

“Wait, you can’t just run off like this! It will blow our cover and our chances to help her if something did happen!” Cynthia yelled out to him before he reached the stairwell. Justin stopped, his heart beating wildly and heeded the wisdom of Cynthia’s warning.

“I have to find her,” he said turning to face her. Cynthia looked panicked, as she should be. They lost an Op.

“Cyn, tell him I’m talking to Brian now, hold tight,” Ted said opting to communicate with her instead of Justin who was reacting right now on pure instinct. He hadn’t known Justin that long, but he’d been monitoring him for the past several days and he knew Justin reacted from his gut first and then asked questions later. Cynthia was more likely to follow procedure in a situation like this, and right now, no one could afford to lose their head.

“Ted’s asking Brian for instructions,” she informed Justin.

“I can’t fucking wait for instructions! Fuck this, I’m heading out to Josh’s house,” Justin said then turned and ran down the stairs.

“Cyn, Brian’s sending Pete and Angel out to investigate, he said to tell Justin to head back to the house and wait for instructions,” Ted said. Pete and Angel were two of the three agents Brian planted in and around the school. Their job was to be invisible, and respond when called.

But it was too late. Justin was gone and Cynthia dared not go after him. As it was he was sure to be spotted leaving the hotel in a frenzied state. Better she stay where she was and not add more suspicion on top of an already suspicious situation. She only hoped Justin wasn’t walking into a trap and she prayed that Shane was alright.

 

Part 4

 

“Hey, what’s the hurry? You skip out on paying that hooker?” Hanks’ voice stopped Justin dead in his tracks. He was practically running down the street, desperate to get to Josh’s house when he rounded the corner and ran straight into Ike and Hank.

His heart was racing, and he took a moment to calm himself as he glared at them.

“Are you fucking following me?” he asked in a dangerous tone.

Hank swallowed nervously. “Fuck no! I get my weed down here! It’s my job to provide the grass, Ike’s the info man. If anyone was following you, it’d be him,” Hank said throwing Ike under the bus, metaphorically.

“Fuck you, Hank! I came to get you and ask ‘you’ if you knew where Jake was. Cujo wants him at the party,” Ike said in a panicky voice. It was no secret just about everyone, except Deuce and Cujo maybe, was afraid of him. His ‘bad boy’ image was very convincing, almost ‘too’ convincing.

“What party?” Justin asked impatiently. The last thing he needed was to go to any fucking party when Shane was missing.

Hank turned to answer him. “Nothing you’d be interested in. Our parties are ‘beneath you’, remember?” he said.

Justin’s blood ran cold. Hank repeated the words he spoke the other day when he was criticizing Deuce for his ‘coke bottle’ attack on Josh. He remembered telling them that he didn’t play with ‘abominations’ of nature… that they needed to be eliminated, not toyed with. Hank throwing his words back at him now was confirmation that they had another kid, and God knows what they were planning for him.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!’ He couldn’t go find Shane now, he had to help this kid, who ever he was. Brian would have to send someone else to find Shane.

“What’cha snag another little faggot?” Justin asked.

“Actually no, well maybe, it’s hard to tell with this freak,” Hank said exchanging looks with Ike, both of them laughed and Justin’s blood went from cold to ice. It was Shane, he knew it.

“The Goth girl?” he asked in a voice that he prayed sounded uninterested.

“Yeah, that freak. Cujo made an appearance tonight and he wasn’t in a good mood. He needed to release some stress so he sent Rufie and Deuce to snatch the bitch. I was sent to get the grass, and Ike, well what the fuck are you doing here, Ike?” Hank turned to the boy.

“I fucking told you, you idiot! Perhaps you should stop smoking that shit you call weed! Cujo sent me to find Jake. I went to his, um, your house,” Ike said glancing at Justin before returning his gaze to Hank, “but he wasn’t there so I came looking for you to see if you knew where he was,” Ike said. “Cujo don’t want to start without him,” he said.

Justin knew exactly why Cujo didn’t want to start without him, he wanted to initiate Justin. Justin would have to fuck Shane up to prove he was serious about the ‘cause’.

“Don’t I feel special,” Justin drawled in a bored voice, “I guess I should put in an appearance. Wouldn’t want to piss off the boss man” he said sarcastically. His stomach was tied in all kinds of knots as dread filled him.

Ike and Hank shook their heads in unison. “Not tonight we don’t, he’s in a real bad way,” Hank said.

‘Not half as bad as he’s going to be,’ Justin thought furiously. He never felt so pressured into keeping his cool as he did right now, but he had no choice. Shane’s life depended on him keeping in character. He only hoped he wasn’t too late and Cujo started without him.

“Let’s roll,” he said, impatiently. Ike led him and Hank over to his car.

 

@@@@@

 

The ride to the ‘party’ took, in Justin’s estimation, twenty minutes yet felt like a lifetime. He commented along the way on landmarks so Ted would know where they were heading. Ike’s car roared angrily from the cut muffler drowning out Justin’s voice, he hoped Ted was hearing all the clues he was giving him.

They pulled up to a long fence in a deserted field and Justin’s heart leaped into his throat as he spotted a figure tied to the posts. He swallowed the bile that threatened to choke him as he exited the car. Cujo stood leaning against the fence near the body with a beer in his hand. Deuce stood to his left and Rufie was on his right. Justin cast a quick glance in Shane’s direction to assess her condition.

She was tied, spread eagle on the fence. Her head was lowered, hiding her features so he couldn’t tell if they had beaten her. But he didn’t see any blood and her clothes were still on. He took that for a good sign.

“Well, well, look who decided to join the party,” Cujo said in form of a greeting.

Justin approached him with a sneer. “Playing children’s games again Cuj? I told you I wasn’t into this shit,” he said.

Cujo pushed away from the fence and got in Justin’s face. The daylight was fading as dusk was fast approaching but the dimness of the night did nothing to hide the bruise on Cujo’s left temple. Genie was right, his father must have beat him, that’s why he’s hadn’t been in school in several days, now he was taking out his anger on one of the ‘freaks’, he blamed for all his troubles.

“Maybe you’re just afraid,” Cujo challenged. The boys all snickered.

Justin spat at Cujo’s feet then turned toward Shane. He grabbed her by her hair and yanked her head up so he could look into her eyes. Rage filled him. Her eyes were glazed over with pain which quickly turned to relief upon seeing him. She had some dried blood on the side of her mouth and was sporting a cut above her brow. He was sure there were other bruises on her body if he looked, which he hadn’t had time to do. She needed medical attention and fast. And there was only one way she was going to get it…

“You gonna die nice and pretty for me, aren’t you freak?” he said hoping she would understand his meaning. She nodded briefly, communicating she understood then played her part and let out a squealing plea for mercy. Justin released a sadistic laugh as he pulled out the retractable knife Cynthia had given him.

 

“Take a lesson boys, this is how you deal with vermin,” he said then plunged the knife into Shane’s stomach. On cue, she doubled over wailing in pain. The synthetic blood oozed all over her shirt. Justin withdrew the knife and Shane let her body go limp. Justin coldly wiped the knife on his pants and turned to the others.

Five very stunned and frighten boys stared back at him.

“What the fuck did you do!” Rufie screamed.

“No way, no fucking way! I want no part of this!” Ike said running for his car. Hank was right on his heels.

“Cujo, we gotta split man. This ain’t fucking cool at all,” Deuce said.

Cujo was speechless. Deuce was dragging him to their car, Rufie was walking in circles pulling at his hair and mumbling incoherently.

“Bunch of fucking pussies,” Justin spat on the ground again.

“Fuck you! The cops are gonna to be all over us once old man Peterson finds that dead body tied to his fence! I fucking threatened her in the lunch room the other day!” Deuce screeched, still trying to get Cujo moving.

‘So this was old man Peterson’s property,’, Justin thought.

The information was invaluable. Ted would dispatch help immediately, all he had to do was get everyone out of there before they arrived, which shouldn’t be hard since they were all in a hurry to run. Ike and Hank already took off.

“What’s your fucking problem? You got five guys who can give you an alibi. Stop being a fag. No one’s going to finger you for this,” Justin said.

“Fuck this, we need to go NOW!” Rufie scream. The boy probably shit his pants he was so freaked out.

“Fine, let’s go then, but next time you invite me to a party, I expect better sport than this,” Justin said.

Something in his voice must have broken through Cujo’s daze for he stared at Justin as if he were looking right into Satan’s face. ‘Good’ Justin thought. He should be afraid, very afraid.

The four of them climbed into Cujo’s car, Deuce was behind the wheel. They peeled out of there so fast Justin couldn’t see how Shane was faring through all the dust the wheels of the car kicked up from their hasty departure. He turned his attention back to the boys in the car and hoped Ted got help to Shane in time. He didn’t think she was hurt too badly, but the longer she was out there, tied up like that, the more damage was being done to her body. He wanted to take his ‘real’ knife out and stab everyone in the fucking car, but he found the will, God knows from where, to keep in character. His insides were shaking violently with rage, and nerves.

“We got her, she’s ok,” Ted whispered into his earpiece. Justin let out a sigh of relief and sent a silent prayer of thanks up.

It was eerily quiet in the car. Justin knew each boy was thinking real hard what tonight meant. There was no going back for any of them. They just graduated to the next level. Now their mettle would be tested. Were they killers? Now that they ‘tasted’ blood, would they want more? Brian certainly thought they would. And Justin had to agree. As freaked out as they were, not one of them thought to stop him, or help Shane. They didn’t even think to check to see if she was still alive. Their only concern was saving their own sorry asses. Not one of them had a conscious. The sad part was, their kind was not unique. Justin had first hand, more like ‘bat to head’, experience with boys like them. Malevolent soulless creatures.

They drove for several miles before Cujo finally spoke. “Do you think the feds will be called in?” he asked in a chilling, emotionless voice, as if he were inquiring about the weather.

“I don’t know, maybe, why does it matter?” Deuce asked. Justin noticed his hands were steadier at the wheel, calmer.

“Feds would cover this up until they did some of their own investigating. Locals will call the media in,” Cujo said casually.

‘Smart boy,’ Justin thought. Someone had done their homework.

“I’d rather this be front page news as a warning to the others,” Cujo said.

Deuce slanted him a look that Justin hadn’t seen him use on Cujo before. Fear. The boy often looked at his friend with desire and admiration…but this was the first time Justin saw real fear in Deuce’s eyes. It was like he was seeing his best friend for the first time.

Deuce cleared his throat. “We don’t even know if she’s dead,” he said.

“She’s dead. I don’t do things half ass,” Justin said.

Cujo turned to look at Justin. “Yeah well, no one told you to kill her. We were just going to teach her a lesson, that’s all,” he said.

“Her kind never fucking learns. When are YOU going to learn the only way to deal with Godless sinners like that is to destroy them! Maybe you should listen to your daddy more, he understands,” Justin said.

He had met Cujo’s card carrying white supremacist father the other day and had a lovely chat with him about the brotherhood. The man took an instant liking to Justin and was pleased his son made a new friend he approved of. But apparently his approval did little to save Cujo from the beating he got when his father found out his son got kicked out of a class he needed to graduate. From what Genie told him, Cujo’s father was always finding fault with his son. Justin just reminded Cujo of this painful fact.

Cujo glared at Justin. “Let’s get something straight between us, my family is my business. You did good tonight, but don’t think I couldn’t or wouldn’t have done it myself. I just would have been more careful. And she really wasn’t worth the risk. If you’re going to take someone out, you should make it count. No one is going to miss a nobody like her. She probably won’t even make the police beat,” Cujo said.

And there it was. Cujo’s need to up the ante. He considered Shane’s death insignificant, or at least he just stated so in front of his boys. This was Justin’s opening.

“Really? And who have you taken out lately that ‘counted?” Justin challenged.

“No one…yet. But I’ve my sights on one particular scum bag who I’ve got a score to settle with,” Cujo said.

Justin let out an acerbic laugh. “I’m sure you’ve got lots of scores to settle,” he said, turning his head to gaze out the window.

“True enough, but this faggot fucked me big time. I’m going to have to retake his class this summer if I want to graduate,” Cujo said.

“Cuj, seriously, you’re gonna kill a guy because he kicked you out of his class?” Deuce asked, growing increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“No, I’m going to kill him because he’s a filthy fag who deserves to die. The school needs to learn that hiring faggot teachers isn’t acceptable. And he’s not even ashamed of his disgusting lifestyle! He flaunts it openly! Plus he fucking humiliated me! You think I should let that go, Deuce? Jesus Christ, Jake fucking killed a bitch just because she was a freak! She didn’t do anything to him, but he knows the dangers the likes of her presence to God fearing decent people! What does it say about us if we don’t take a stand for what we believe in?” Cujo challenged Deuce.

Deuce visibly swallowed. “Maybe we should just lie low for awhile,” he said nervously.

“Maybe you should grow a pair of balls,” Cujo said, effectively shutting the boy up.

Justin pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “A teacher huh? Now that will send a message,” he commented blowing smoke rings towards the front seat of the car.

Cujo smiled triumphantly. “Yes it will. See that’s the difference between me and you, Jake. I’m always looking at the bigger picture while you waste your talents on meaningless scum. When I take ‘cock sucker Carter’ out, everyone in town will stand up and take notice. They’ll know that there are righteous people in this town that won’t tolerate the likes of him, or that worthless piece of shit we left back on that fence,” Cujo said.

“Carter? The new Chem teacher?” Justin asked, knowing full well Cujo was talking about Brian. And though he knew he should be pleased that they achieved their objective, to push Cujo into making a move against Brian, despite the major detour from the original plan, he couldn’t help but feel deep remorse over Shane getting hurt in the process, and extreme trepidation over what was about to go down.

“Yeah, that one,” Cujo said.

“Jesus, Cuj! You can’t do that! Not now at least. You need to let things settle down first. There’s going to be a shit storm once that body is found,” Rufie spoke up for the first time. Justin glared at the boy sitting next to him. He didn’t want him to talk Cujo out of taking action now. He was so close…

“Now is exactly the time it should be done. One killing could be random. Some lone operator on the loose, or somebody settling a score with that freak. But another kill right on the heels of Jake’s kill will leave no doubt they are related. Both targets have the same M.O. Both fucking queers. No one will mistake it for anything else than what it is. Someone taking out the trash,” Cujo said.

Justin snorted derisively and rolled his window down to throw his cigarette out. “Like I said, fucking pussies. You can count me in, Cuj,” Justin said.

Deuced threw him a menacing look through the rearview mirror, “Listen up new boy, nobody needs you, Cuj and I can deal with this ourselves,” he said.

Justin’s heart quickened. ‘Fuck!’ he went too far. He needed Cujo to involve him in his plans in order to protect Brian.

“Easy Deuce, he’s already proven himself. He can come along. I’m more concerned about Ike and Hank. They skipped out on us tonight. I can’t trust them anymore. I don’t want them knowing about this, got it?” Cujo said, then turned to glare at Rufie, “You too, Ruf, this doesn’t leave this car. I find out you so much as breathed a word to anyone about what we’re planning, and I’ll string you up just like I did that freak. Are, we clear?” he asked.

Rufie’s face paled. “Crystal,” he said. Cujo nodded his head satisfied with the response.

Justin breathed a sigh of relief. He was still in.

“It’s late. Let’s split up. Tomorrow we go to school like nothing happened. I don’t want us to act surprised when we hear the news about a body being found on Peterson’s property, but don’t act guilty either. Don’t worry about Ike or Hank, they won’t be a problem. Deuce and I will take care of them. After school, we’ll meet at my house and go over our plans for Carter. Until then, business as usual boys,” Cujo said, in a jovial voice that made Justin want to reach over and choke the life out of him. He could only imagine how he and Deuce were going to take care of Ike and Hank, but for the life of him he just couldn’t muster up any sympathy for those two.

“Hey Deuce, drop me off at my place will ya. Round the back. I don’t want my fucking foster parents hearing me come in and giving me the fucking third degree. Last thing I need is to get kicked out of another home,” Justin said.

In truth, he just needed to get out of the car fast before he lost his cool, and he didn’t want Ted’s aunt and uncle to see him this way.

“My pleasure,” Deuce said, with no little amount of animosity in his voice. Justin ignored him and counted the minutes until he was able to exit the car. Not once did he look back as he heard the car speed away from him. He needed to put as much distance between himself and the depravity of those boys. A depravity that was leaving its stench on him. God he needed a shower and a new assignment before he lost his soul in this one. But most of all he needed Brian…

 

Part 5

 

Justin climbed through Brian’s bedroom window and it was déjà vu. His feet barely touched the floor when he felt Brian’s hand clamp down over his mouth from behind. His body went limp with relief this time though, knowing it was his lover who had him. Brian removed his hand and turned him around so fast Justin’s head spun. His mouth came down hard and hungry on his blond.

Justin struggled for breath; he was totally unprepared for the savage kiss. Brian was desperate, frantic and frightened. Justin could feel it all pour out of his lover. His tongue ravaged and claimed his mouth seeking affirmation that he was unharmed and still… ‘his’...

Justin moved his hands up around Brian’s neck and held on as his lover viciously devoured him, teeth smashing against teeth, lips and tongues sliding against each other’s roughly, with brutal intensity. Exquisite erotic pain sliced through Justin as he felt Brian bite down on his lip bruising the tender flesh there. He shoved himself up against the brunette and grinded into him. His cock hardened and throbbed as it became engorged with blood…blood that was draining from his head, leaving him senseless, and filling his loins. He let out a feral growl and pulled at Brian’s hair.

Brian pulled away for a fraction of a second to stare into passion filled blue eyes. His own were dark and intense, filled with hot burning need and desire and….some unrecognizable emotion…

“Don’t ever fucking disobey me again, do you understand?” He emphasized the seriousness of his words by pushing Justin up against the wall hard and pinning his arms up over his head.

“It could have been a fucking trap! I had Peter and Angel on it!” he growled into Justin’s face.

Though Justin understood his lover’s anxiety, his own anger was rising, “Peter and Angel would have never found her! You really didn’t expect me to sit and do nothing, did you?” he asked, his voice growing a little softer.

Brian lowered his head to the crook of Justin’s neck and sighed deeply. Justin could feel his labored breath against his skin; his hands were still pinned above his head.

“Yes, I did. You’re in too deep Justin, I’m….” Brian breathed the words against Justin neck, stopping short before finishing his sentence.

“Afraid?” Justin supplied for him.

Brian silently nodded. Justin pulled at his wrists and Brian let go. He wrapped his arms around Brian’s back and held him tight.

“Me too, every second of every fucking day this case goes on. Jesus Christ Brian, ‘YOU’RE’ the target! Not me!” he said.

 

“A moving, well protected target. You’re like a sitting duck with that crew, Justin. I’ll know if and when they come after me, because I’ve got you on the inside. But you’re on your own. If they decide to turn on you who would know? We won’t see them coming until it’s too late. What happened to Shane tonight could happen to you…only worse. Yeah, Ted heard Shane get snatched, but if you didn’t get lucky and run into Hank, we may have never found her. I failed her, I won’t risk failing you too. My heart was in my throat when I heard Cujo invited you to a ‘party’. …fuck Justin I thought the worse! It really could have been a trap! Word could have gotten back to Cujo that you tried to fuck his girlfriend! Deuce would like nothing better than to see you out of the picture and Cuj….”

“Shhh…I’m fine Brian, I’m here,” Justin grabbed Brian’s face in between his hands and held his gaze, calming his lovers’ fears.

Brian touched his forehead to Justin’s and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, this time. What about next time? And Shane? She almost got killed tonight. It’s my fault she got hurt, and it will be my fault if anything happens to you,” Brian said.

“No Brian, it’s no one’s fault. This is the life we chose. It’s who we are. There are certain risks to our profession,” Justin said.

Brian let out a small tension relieving chuckle. “Yeah, well maybe it’s time we find a new profession. We’re both masters of deception; add to that your artistic skills and my business sense, and there’s no limit to what we can do,” Brian said.

Justin smiled up at him. “I can’t imagine you in any other profession. You love the adrenalin rush you get from the chase, from knowing one less bad guy is on the streets because of the work you do, and all of your employees feel the same way. You can’t change that,” Justin said.

Brian leaned in and brushed his lips against Justin’s noting how bruised and swollen they were from his punishing kiss.

“I can think of better ways to get an adrenalin rush,” he said running his tongue along his blond’s bottom lip, soothing it.

Justin purred into his mouth, “Mmmmm….I know you can. But face it Kinney, there’s nothing ‘subtle’ about us. We like the rough stuff, both in our profession and…” Justin paused, moving his hands to Brian’s ass, squeezing both cheeks as he pulled him up hard against his cock, “in bed,” he said.

Brian gave him a sinister smirk then jerked him away from the wall roughly, causing them both to tumble to the floor. Justin landed on top of him; gasping in surprise at the unexpected move…Brian caught his gasp with his mouth.

“Or on the floor. Knowing how hard you like it,” Brian said as he released his blond’s mouth. Justin rolled his eyes at the cheesiness of his words. Brian laughed.

“You know Sunshine, when this case is over I’m going to take you away….far away to a place where I can lock you in a dungeon and have my evil way with you twenty-four seven,” Brian said.

That special gleam shone in Justin’s eyes, the one that told Brian he was having the most salacious sexual thoughts. That look always made Brian’s blood boil hot.

“You promise to fuck me until it hurts,” he asked grinning like a Cheshire cat, “and then fuck me some more?”

Brian reached up and cupped the back of Justin’s neck. He then he pulled him down and brought his mouth close to his ear, “Promise,” he whispered as he licked, bit and sucked on his lobe.

Justin tilted his head and mewled in delight. Brian reached in between them with his free hand and cupped his balls through his pants. “Off, now,” he commanded and Justin immediately obeyed.

‘Oh yeah, now he listens to me,’ Brian thought in amusement.

Once Justin was naked, he proceeded to slowly, and quite sensually, remove his lover’s clothes. He started with his shirt, unbuttoning one button at a time, making sure to kiss and lick the exposed skin thoroughly before moving on to the next button until Brian’s chest was totally exposed, and flushed pink from his ministrations. Then he slowly removed his shirt from his shoulders, one sleeve at a time, making sure to give equal attention to his upper chest, shoulders and arms with his hands and mouth.

Brian watched with hooded lids as his blond worked his magic on him. His body was on fire by the time Justin had his shirt completely off. He silently tilted his hips up in invitation for Justin to complete his task. Justin gave him a promising smile then slid his body in the most sinuous provocative way down Brian’s bare chest to his jeans where he paused to unbutton the top button. Keeping his eyes fixed on hazel ones he lowered his mouth, grabbed the zipper with his teeth, and pulled down. Brian arched his back, hissing in pleasure at the sight. His cock pulsated against the rough material seeking release. Justin answered its’ call and quickly pulled Brian’s pants all the way off before sliding his body back up, pressing each inch of his skin against his lover’s.

“I love the way we fit, the way you feel…God you’re so hot,” he said, placing small tiny kisses along his jaw.

Brian’s blood was boiling with desire. He needed to taste Justin, to ‘take him in’, all of him. He grabbed him by his shoulders and flipped him on this back.

“Mine,” he said then started kissing his way down Justin’s body, nipping and licking along the way until his mouth reached its destination. To the place he craved more than anything right now. Without preamble, he took his blond’s cock into his mouth, swallowing him whole until he felt the tip brush the back of this throat.

Justin gasped and arched up seeking more…his heart pounded wildly.

Brian lifted Justin’s ass up and greedily sucked him, moaning deeply as he moved his mouth up and down his blond’s beautiful cock. He savored the taste of him, the feel of his skin against his tongue. Selfishly he worked Justin’s cock with his mouth and tongue. Lust drove him, it controlled him. He licked the vein that ran up the bottom of his lovers cock and felt it pulse against his tongue, indicating Justin was ready to blow but it was too soon; Brian wanted to play some more before he granted him that pleasure. He abruptly released him, causing Justin to cry out in frustration.

“Patience…,” he muttered against the inside of his thigh.

“Fuck patience! I need to cum, now…” Justin pleaded. Brian chuckled and moved up his body.

“I want to be in you when you cum,” he said then slanted his mouth over his, kissing him deeply and passionately as he lowered his hand to Justin’s cock, running his finger over the tip, coating it with the pre-cum that was leaking from his blond’s demanding cock. He squeezed the head, forcing more of the sweet juice to come out. Justin moaned deeply into Brian’s mouth. Brian brought his cum coated fingers up and slipped them into their mouths, letting his blond taste himself.

Their tongues mingled with each other’s and around Brian’s fingers as they both feasted on the sweet nectar.

Justin was swimming in a place were nothing but feeling mattered. His world at that moment was Brian. The air he breathed was Brian. The sweat on his skin was Brian. The bone deep passion engulfing his every nerve was Brian.

“God, pleasee.. Bri…fuck me now, please…” he whimpered wanting more, needing more.

Brian heard his lover, and reacted. He released Justin’s mouth and ran his tongue down his body once again, sliding his mouth briefly over his cock teasingly, before releasing it and going lower, lifting his legs over his shoulders exposing the entrance to his ecstasy…his home. He let out a guttural noise as he pushed his tongue against the inviting opening, seeking entrance, lapping at it greedily, readying his lover for him.

Justin’s whole body was on fire. Sweat broke out on his forehead as he held back his orgasm. Brian wanted him to cum with him inside of him, and who was he to deny him? He was Brian’s to do with as he pleased, and right now Justin would sell his soul to please his lover.

Brian lingered as long as he dared at Justin’s entrance knowing his blond was struggling to keep his orgasm at bay. With one final lick, he raised himself up and positioned his cock at the now very wet and open hole.

“This…” he said pushing gently against his hole, “is ours,” he said staring down at his blonde, willing his meaning to register in his pretty head.

Justin’s eyes grew darker blue, if that were possible, and his nostrils flared with profound desire, “Just ours,” he said taking a deep breath. He grabbed on to Brian’s arms, squeezing tight as he gently shook him to emphasize the significance of his next words, “and only ours”, he amended.

Brian’s mouth curved upward in semblance of smile. His blond was laying claim to him. At any other time, with anyone else, the very thought would have sent Brian running, but hearing his blond proclaim that he belonged to him, and only him, just served to inflame Brian’s lust more. Truth was, he already felt like Justin was his, his boyfriend, his partner, his lover….his. And being the selfish prick he was, he had no intentions of sharing what he considered his. Knowing Justin felt the same way about him filled him with an emotion he never felt before, nor could he name.

He held those beautiful blue eyes in his gaze and nodded his head in acceptance. Though neither would speak of it, they just moved to another level in their relationship. The knowledge spurred Brian into action as he swiftly entered his blond with one powerful stroke, filling him completely to the hilt.

Justin cried out at the sudden intrusion. He felt full and stretched to the max. His muscles contracted around his lover’s cock. A jolt of pure undiluted pleasure coursed through him. He covered his face with his hands, grimacing in pain as he desperately tried to hold back from cumming.

Brian leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Good boy.”

That alone was nearly enough to send Justin over the edge, and Brian felt it.

“No way Sunshine, you don’t cum until I tell you, understand?” But Justin couldn’t speak, he could only nod and make unintelligible sounds.

Brian began to move slowly and steadily inside of him. Drawing out the feeling of flesh sliding against flesh. Neither had ever fucked raw before with anyone else, and this new sensation was too addictive. After that first time, Brian knew he wouldn’t be able to stop. Fucking Justin raw was like chasing the dragon. Once its’ fire has burned you, branded you, you belonged to it, and you would spend the rest of your life ‘chasing’ the utopia that could only be found in the dragon. And Justin was his dragon, his addiction. He was like a moth to the flame with his blond, and God help him but he’d walked through the fires of Hell just to be near him, in him….like this…always.

“Arrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh, God Bri…I can’t…” Justin screamed out grabbing on to Brian’s forearms, squeezing painfully shaking Brian from his thoughts.

But Brian wasn’t ready yet. He wanted more, and greedily took it, heedless of Justin’s needs as he sought out his own. He relentlessly pounded into his blond, crazed with a fevered passion he’d never before experienced.

Justin couldn’t take it any more. His fingers dug deeper into Brian’s forearms as he screamed out his need. His cock pulsated against Brian’s stomach. His balls tightened, and then, with out warning, ribbons of cum sprang from his body ferociously. The force of it was so strong it hurt. Justin hissed at the pleasure/pain and pulled Brian into him deeper. Brian rode him hard, not missing a beat or a stroke.

Justin emptied his seed and soul onto Brian. Soaking them both with his hot, thick fluid. Brian reached between them and gathered the fruits of their labor. He brought his hand up and spread the hot sticky nectar over Justin’s face then licked it off, running his tongue up Justin’s jaw to his cheek, to his nose. He repeated this action covering all of Justin’s face with the evidence of their union. Justin was drowning in it and Brian licked every inch of him as he continued to pound his ass relentlessly.

Justin felt another orgasm creeping up on him. His eyes flew open as he stared up at his lover.

Sweat poured off of Brian’s forehead, his eyes were near black with desire, his features drawn tight with his exertion,

“Now cum again, for me,” he said throwing his head back as he rammed his cock deep inside Justin, screaming out his name as he poured his seed into him. And Justin obeyed. His body convulsed painfully as his second orgasm ripped through him.

 

Their bodies locked together as they let their orgasms sweep over them. They were one in that moment. Each, dependant upon the other. Connected in a way that neither had ever dared to dream of ever being.

With one last shout, grunt and groan…Brian collapsed on top of Justin. Justin held on to him as if his life depended on it, and in a way it did. Their breathing was erratic; their hearts beat violently in their chests. If either were to pull away from the other at that point, their worlds as they knew it in that moment would surely end for right now they existed on another plane and if either let go, the other would crash back to reality. And neither was prepared for that.

But eventually they did float back to earth. Slowly, reluctantly, but inevitably. Spent, their bodies covered in sweat and cum, they continued to lay in each others arms, sated in the aftermath of their union.

It was quite some time later when Brian pulled out of Justin and fell over onto his back. Justin groaned in protest at the separation. They laid side by side on the floor just listening to each other breathe.

Neither spoke, each afraid to spoil the moment. Justin turned his head to look at Brian, their eyes met and held. Brian reached his hand out and Justin took it.

“I want you to wear a vest,”

‘Ok, so much for not spoiling the moment,’ Justin thought. He sighed and turned his head away.

“Tell me this will be over soon and we can run away to our dungeon…” Justin said.

Brian squeezed his hand. “It can be over now,” he said.

Justin shook his head and turned back to look at Brian.

“No, we have to finish this. These boys, Brian….” Justin let out a dejected breath, “they have to be stopped before they kill someone,” he said.

Brian nodded his head, accepting Justin’s decision, knowing he was right, yet hating the whole situation, and the danger his blonde was in.

“So you’ll wear the vest?” he asked again.

Justin smiled at him. “Brian, I don’t need a vest. None of them have access to a gun. Cujo carries a knife, I think Deuce does too. The others might, but they don’t have the balls to use one,” Justin said.

“Just wear the fucking vest Justin. For once can you just fucking do what you’re told?” Brian said his voice filled with frustration.

Justin threw him a sly glance. “I believe I just did,” he retorted. Brian was about to harangue him again when Justin rolled over on top of him.

“Ok! I’ll wear the vest,” he said leaning over to kiss him.

Brian sighed into Justin’s mouth, content to just be in the moment. And at the moment, his blond was working his magic on him, once again flaming his desires, chasing all other thoughts from his head. The night was young and he relented to pleasures it offered. He would save tomorrow’s trouble for tomorrow.

Little did he know tomorrow’s troubles were being plotted out tonight...


	13. Chapter 13

Word spread like wildfire through the school

….Shane was dead, and Jake killed her.

Josh barely opened his locker earlier this morning when Kyle Malik approached him:

 

……. _“Hey did you hear?” Kyle said startling Josh from behind._

 _“Fuck you nearly scared the shit out of me! No, hear what?” Josh asked as he turned around to face him._

 _He was totally unprepared for the bombshell his classmate was about to drop on him._

 _“That new girl, you know, the weird looking Goth chick? Well they found her on old man Peterson’s property. Tied to his fence, bled out like a stuck pig.”_

 _Josh swayed a bit on his feet at Kyle’s words. There was no way it could be true. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked, praying Kyle didn’t know shit and was just spreading some vicious gossip._

 _“It’s in the papers, front page news. Cops have no idea who did it, stupid asses, but everyone in the school knows. Hank told his dealer, who told his cousin Ronnie, that Cujo had Jake kill that girl. Kind of like an initiation. Everybody is buzzing about it! Cujo is walking around with this big fucking scary ass grin on his face and that kid Jake is acting like…well like he normally acts. Distant and cool, you know? Like this ain’t his first time,” Kyle said exerting an exaggerated shiver then paused to look at Josh quizzically, “Hey, you knew that girl didn’t you? Weren’t you two friends?” he asked……_

 _And Josh, just like the apostle Peter, denied any close relationship with the girl he’d become good, good friends with out of fear of retribution._

 _…..“Fuck no! I was nice to her cause she was new, that’s all. We weren’t friends!” he said then slammed his locker door shut and walked away.”……_

 

And thus it began. Josh spent the rest of the day distancing himself from the one person he dared to call friend in a very long time by denying any close relationship with her to any and all who inquired. It was a betrayal born out of self-preservation and he never hated himself more.

The school day dragged on. Time became his enemy as it seemed to be moving at an agonizingly slow pace. Josh could have cried with relief upon hearing that last period bell chime. He hurried home after school, making only one quick stop at the local newsstand to purchase a paper. Once home he sought out the key his father kept in the top drawer of his bureau that opened the liquor cabinet. He unlocked the cabinet and took out the big bottle of Chivas regal and headed towards the living room with the newspaper clutched in one hand, the bottle clutched in his other. He spent the next several hours drinking with one goal in mind…to drown out the pain.

It was now six o’clock. He was sprawled out on the living room floor, drunk out of his mind, empty bottle in hand and angry because the whiskey did nothing to dull his pain. If anything, it was stronger now, fueled by all the alcohol he consumed. Rage filled him as he looked down at the newspaper spread open before him on the floor…

“Teens’ body found stabbed to death tied to local farmers’ fence.”

Underneath the caption there was a picture of Shane…his beautiful friend Shane.

Josh clutched the empty bottle to his chest and skimmed the article, for the hundredth time, through drunken hazy eyes.

“No witness…hate crime suspected…,”

Funny he thought, the so called professionals had no clue as to who did this, yet everyone in the fucking school knew who killed Shane.

“God Damned animals!” he cried out in a drunken slurred voice. “They’re gonna pay for this, I swear it, they’ll pay,” he vowed as he rose unsteadily to his feet and headed towards the liquor cabinet. He replaced the empty bottle, shaking his head at the irony of such an act as it was uncharacteristically defiant in nature; he then used the key to unlock the drawer to the credenza the cabinet sat upon. There, lying on a swat of black velvet cloth, laid his fathers’ gun. A box of bullets sat along side of it. Josh pulled out the gun and bullets then locked everything up again.

He knew where they’d be tonight. The Pit. It was their ‘secret’ place where they hung out, got stoned, and took their victims when the whim struck them. Josh had first hand knowledge of that aptly named place. It was Friday night, they were sure to be there.

Josh grabbed is backpack, shoved the gun and bullets in it, then headed out. He opened the garage door and jumped on his bicycle. He was on a mission….to avenge Shane’s death. He owed her that much. Never again, he swore as he furiously pedaled down the street, would another life be destroyed because of Cujo and his gang.

 

 **Part 2**

 

“So you want me to tutor you?” Brian asked Cujo marveling at the boy’s audacity yet at the same time noting how calculating the move was.

It was no secret that Cujo hated him. Everyone in the school knew it. They also knew that bad things usually happened to people Cujo hated. So why would he think that Brian would not be suspicious of his asking him to tutor him? Unless of course he did know that Brian would be suspicious and thus use ‘the obvious’ as proof that his request must be sincere.

Cujo shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not a matter of what I want, but what I need. I can’t do summer school Mr. Carter. My father wants me to graduate with the rest of my class. He was ‘painfully’ clear on that, so I have no choice but to ask you. Believe me, I’ve no desire to be anywhere near you, but I’ve got no choice. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Name your price,” Cujo said.

Brian quirked a brow at him. The boy wasn’t taking any chances. He was now throwing in partial truths to make his request sound even more sincere. Justin had learned through Genie that Cujo’s father was adamant, and in a very forceful way, about his son getting his degree. Cujo was now sharing that ‘personal’ information with Brian in order to gain his trust. A trust he needed if he were to accomplish his goal. A goal Brian was not only very aware of, but prepared for.

Not ten minutes before Cujo walked into his classroom Ted reported to him that Justin had met up with the boys after school. Cujo told Justin and Deuce to meet him at the Pit tonight, and to be ready. They planned to take Brian down tonight. Justin asked where this ‘Pit’ was but Cujo just brushed him off, telling him Deuce would drive him there. He was being very vague about the whole thing, which according to Ted was making Justin nervous as hell. Brian wondered how Cujo intended to get him to this place he called the ‘Pit’. They were going into this blind so every precaution had to be taken. He and Justin both had tails they would have to rely on and more ops in the field ready to move in on a moments notice. This was it. Tonight everything would come to a head, and hopefully, they’d finally have Cujo on attempted murder and Deuce on conspiracy.

“I don’t know Cujo,” Brian stalled looking over at the clock on the wall. It was nearing six o’clock. He made a habit to be available every Friday after school for students who needed extra help. He made lots of ‘habits’ for Cujo and the gang to follow. The goal was to make himself an easy target.

“You should have come earlier. I’m on my way home now, besides, I’m not convinced of your intentions,” Brian said as he gathered his things from his desk and shoved them into his brief case.

“Fair enough,” Cujo said then reached into is pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. He placed the money on Brian’s desk.

“That’s all I got. Three hundred dollars. Is that enough to get me at least a D in your class? Plus, I’m willing to put in the work, if that’s what it’ll take. Listen, I won’t bullshit you. I know your kind; I don’t like your kind. People like you always gotta feel like you’ve got to ‘educate’ people. I got news for you, I don’t need the kind of education you want to give me,” Cujo said than shook his head as he breathed out a mocking laugh, “No use denying that fags makes me sick, but you got something I need. I need that diploma, now what do you need?” Cujo asked.

Brian made a ‘tsking’ sound and pushed his horned rimmed glasses up on his nose, “It’s not relevant what I need. What’s relevant is what you need, and you need more than a diploma. You need to adjust that homophobic racist attitude of yours before someone gets hurt. And don’t assume that someone won’t be you,” Brian said.

“Yeah, well, that’s always a possibility,” Cujo said, his words and tone sounding eerily cryptic...

“How about this, I promise to not start any shit with any of the kids around here for the rest of the year, and you give me a passing grade. School will be over soon and I’ll be away from this shithole. Not your problem anymore. You could have a long peaceful career here. That’s my proposition. The money is yours, no matter what. Just for considering it,” Cujo shrewdly offered.

Brian held Cujo’s gaze for a long moment before answering him. The tension and silence between them was deafening.

“Alright, we got a deal. You start coming every Friday after school, do your work, give it a serious try, and I’ll give you your D. But keep your money. It’s enough you don’t terrorize anymore students,” Brian finally said.

Cujo nodded his head silently accepting the terms and graced him with a smile. Brian wanted to rip that smile off his face, but instead he just grabbed his briefcase off the desk and headed out of the classroom.

“Ok then. We’re cool, right?” Cujo asked falling into step beside him.

Brian turned to him and nodded his head briefly before turning away again. They both walked to the school parking lot in silence. ‘Coincidentally’ Cujo’s car was parked right next to Brian’s.

“See you next Friday Carter,” Cujo called out congenially as he opened his door.

Brian’s instincts were telling him there was more to this encounter. He slid into the passenger seat of his car and turned the key. Nothing. ‘How cliché’ he thought. They fucked with his car, no one was around; he’d need Cujo’s assistance. He turned the key again. Still nothing.

“Hey Mr. Carter, you need help?” Cujo offered banging on his window.

Brian rolled down the window. “You wouldn’t happen to have jumper cables would you?”

“Sorry no. But I can give you a lift to the gas station if you want,” he offered.

 

‘I bet you can…’ Brian thought.

 

Brian nervously bit his lip giving the impression he was wary of the offer, yet contemplating it.

“I don’t know…” he said awkwardly.

“Listen, Bills auto is on my way home. I can drop you off there, but you’re on your own after that,” Cujo offered with just enough annoyance in his voice to convince Brian there was nothing amiss with his offer.

“Brian, that’s where Justin is,” Ted’s voice came through the mic hidden in the earpiece of the frame of Brian’s glasses. “That’s the Pits. It’s an old abandoned gas station,” Ted confirmed.

Brian looked over at Cujo. “Ok, if it’s not a problem,” he said playing into Cujo’s hand.

Cujo stepped back and let Brian exit his car. Ten minutes later they were driving down some back road.

“Not many houses around here,” Brian remarked.

Cujo reached over and pulled a half smoked cigarette from his ashtray, “Yeah, well that’s part of the charm. No busy body neighbors sticking their nose into your business,” he said then lit the butt.

Brian waved the smoke away from his face and feigned a coughing fit. “You know that shit will kill you,” he admonished.

Cujo shot him a disturbing look, “Lots of things can kill ya Carter, smokin’s just one of them,” he said once again using that cryptic tone. Brian chose to ignore him and turned to stare out the window.

They pulled up to an old abandoned gas station. Cujo turned the engine off and stepped out of the car. Brian looked around, heavy skepticism in his features. Cujo walked around to his side and opened his door. “Come on Carter, your destiny awaits,” he said then reached in and pulled Brian out.

Brian let himself be hauled from the car. He looked around at the abandoned station and feigned panic. “What’s going on Cujo?! I insist you take me back to the school immediately!” he demanded in a shaky voice that belied the command.

“Clap, Clap, Clap…” Brian turned to see Justin and Deuce walking towards him. Deuce was clapping his hands.

“Now that’s fucking impressive Cuj! You actually got him here,” Deuce said smiling evilly.

“Was there any doubt I’d deliver?” Cujo snarled at him.

“Not a one. Just surprised you didn’t have to gag and tie him,” Deuce answered.

Cujo laughed. “Thought it might have come to that, but in the end the fag came nice and easy. Like a lamb to its slaughter.”

“Now wait one min…”

“Shut the fuck up fag!” Cujo shouted over Brian as he shoved him forward. Brian stumbled and Justin had to bite the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood to stop himself from taking Cujo down.

“I’m getting fucking bored Cujo, you gonna do this or what? I got a date tonight,” Justin said impatiently. He couldn’t take anymore of this. His every instinct was screaming at him to protect Brian, but he had to play this hand through.

He came prepared to the meeting earlier in the day. Cujo had asked him if he could secure a gun for him, which he did. A starter gun filled with blanks. It could have easily passed for a real gun. Cujo shook a little when he took it from Justin’s hand, yet there was a sinister gleam in his eyes as he looked at the polished metal. There was no doubt in Justin’s mind at that moment that Cujo was more than capable of killing someone. He was salivating to do it. Now all he Justin had to do was wait for Cujo to use it and they’d have him on attempted murder. Once he pulled that trigger, it would be over. There were several ops in the field waiting to move in the moment he took his shot.

Cujo cast Justin and Deuce a hesitant look. Several long seconds passed by…no one made a move.

“Cuj?” Deuce looked at Cujo expectantly.

‘Fuck!’ Justin thought. If Cujo didn’t make his move, they were fucked. Justin wasn’t about to stand around and let them beat the shit out of Brian for some lousy assault charge. Their covers would be blown instantly because if they laid one hand on Brian, Justin was going to tear them both new assholes.

“What!” Cujo snapped back.

Deuce backed up. “Nothing. It’s ok if you don’t want to do this,” he said.

Justin laughed and spat on the ground, “No Cuj, you don’t have to do shit. Why don’t you just go home and play with your sister’s dolls?” he taunted, knowing he was stepping into dangerous territory. A good lawyer would use Justin’s words to level incitement charges against him, but he didn’t give a shit. He was willing to go to jail, if that’s what it took, as long as this fucker went down for attempted murder.

“Go fuck yourself Jake. I’m just savoring the moment,” Cujo said turning to him.

“Yeah, well let’s not make the moment turn into an hour. I got shit to do,” Justin said then pulled out his knife and started cleaning his fingernails as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

Cujo pulled the gun from his jacket and turned back to Brian. Justin caught the move through his peripheral and held his breath…’That’s it you fucking piece of shit. Seal your destiny…’ he thought right before he heard the gun go off. Only, it wasn’t the sound blanks made when being fired from a starters gun. It was the sound of real bullets being fired from a real gun…

 

@@@@

……..Josh hunkered down behind a bush as he watched Cujo’s car pull up to the Pit. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Mr. Carter get out of the car. ‘another victim,’ he thought. He wished he could hear what they were saying, but he was too far away. When he saw Cujo produce a gun and aim it at the teacher, rage, uncontrollable rage filled him. He pulled his fathers gun out, took aim, and fired…….

 

@@@@

 

“No!!!!!!!!!!!!” Justin screamed lurching forward. Cujo went, down, he was hit, which meant there was a sniper out there and Justin’s only thought was to protect Brian.

“Justin stop! Drop now!” Brian shouted but it was too late.

 

…….Josh saw that kid Jake lunge for Mr. Carter, and he had a knife in his hand! He took aim again, only this time at Jake, and shot off another round……

 

Brian watched in horror as the Justin’s body jerked from the impact. ‘Dear God, please let him have his vest on!’ he silently prayed. He rushed forward, jumping over Cujo’s body and caught Justin before he hit the ground. Panic seized his heart when he saw the crimson blood flow from his side. His hands frantically ripped at Justin’s jacket and shirt, searching for his vest. His panic turned to paralyzing fear when his hand came in contact with bare flesh. Sticky, bloody flesh. He quickly shed out of his jacket and pulled his shirt over his head. He balled it up and pressed it against the wound.

“I fucking told you to wear a vest!” he screamed at his lover. His voice was raw, pain ridden and filled with fear. Justin heard him and opened his eyes.

“Couldn’t…gym class today…” he said gracing Brian with a weak smile.

Brian quickly scanned the area for help. He saw one of the field ops already had Deuce in cuffs, another was running towards them.

“Someone call 911 now!” he screamed at the approaching man.

“Calls been made. Paramedics are on their way. We also got the shooter, it was that kid Josh, he thought he was protected you,” Pete, who had been assigned to tail Justin, informed Brian as he went to check on Cujo. He put his fingers to his neck, feeling for a pulse. “This one’s dead,” he said.

“Fuck him! Justin needs help, now!” Brian growled at the agent. His face was contorted into a mask of pain.

“Bri….”

Brian immediately turned his attention back to Justin, “Shhhh….save your energy Sunshine, help is on its’ way,” he said soothingly, making sure to keep his voice level so not to upset Justin.

“No, Bri…, listen to me, before it’s too late…” Justin said. Brian heard the capitulation in his voice and curse. He would not allow it. God damn it he would NOT let Justin give up.

He shook his head violently. “No, shut up. Help will be here soon. Just hold on…Please Justin, please….just hold on…” Brian pleaded.

Justin could feel the blood literally drain from his body. He doubted he’d survive this, and he needed to tell Brian the truth before it was too late…

“Brian, stop and just listen to me, please…are you listening?” he asked.

There was an urgency in Justin’s voice that Brian couldn’t ignore.

“Yes, I’m listening,” he reluctantly relented.

“I was wrong,” Justin said.

Brian furrowed his brow in confusion. “Don’t be ridiculous, you did everything right. No one could have anticipated another shooter,” Brian said.

“No, that’s not what I meant, I mean I was wrong, about….love,” Justin said.

Brian closed his eyes for a moment, NOT wanting to have this conversation. Especially not now! It had a stench of ‘finality’ to it that he couldn’t…wouldn’t accept.

“Don’t Justin, don’t you dare fucking do this to me,” he choked out.

Justin reached up with one hand and cradled Brian’s cheek. The movement caused him to grimace in pain. Brian grabbed his hand and turned it over to kiss the inside of his palm; he then pressed it back against his cheek and melded into it.

“It’s not some meaningless word…” Justin continued, ignoring Brian’s plea, “not always, not when it’s real. The problem is, it’s hardly ever real. But now and then, it is real. We’re real Brian. If nothing else, we’ve always been honest with each other… except in this. I can’t chance dying without you ever knowing the truth….I’m sorry Brian, please don’t hate me, but the truth is… I don’t, not love you…” Justin said.

Brian opened his eyes and stared at Justin, but remained silent.

“Bri…” Justin prompted. Brian turned his head away to look down the road. The faint sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. ‘Thank God,’ he thought as he let out a relieved sigh. Justin grabbed his chin and turned his face to look at him.

“Bri..?” his voice sounded needy, even to his own ears.

“I told you to shut up,” Brian said. Right now he needed to concentrate on getting Justin help. He couldn’t think past that, and he sure as Hell wasn’t going to confess his feelings to his lover just because he believed he might lose him. That possibility was just too painful to contemplate. There would be time later for such a conversation. Justin was going to live.

“Brian, say something…” Justin said feeling very uneasy with his silence. He wanted to say more, but he stopped himself. The last thing he wanted was some forced, false declaration of love from Brian just because he was dying. It was enough that he came clean and told Brian the truth. Brian could do what he wished with his truth. His burden was lifted. He could now at least die with a clear conscious. He released his hold on Brian’s chin, letting his hand fall to his side, and closed his eyes, and mind to everything around him.

Brian sensed him pulling away. He shook him gently, “What do you want me to say? That I don’t not love you either? Is that what you’re waiting to hear ‘Sunshine’”, Brian drawled out the pet name sarcastically. Justin’s eyes snapped open, his beautiful blue orbs blazed with rage. ‘That’s my boy,’ Brian thought. ‘Fight.’ A fighting mad Justin is exactly what he needed right now.

“You want something from me, you got to earn it. I’m not that fucking easy. Prove to me you’re worth hearing those words and fight God damn it! Jesus what a fucking drama queen you are. You put Emmett to shame. You survived a bat to the head, don’t tell me you’re such a pussy you can’t survive a bullet to the gut. With the way you eat, I’m sure it’s just lodged in the hamburger you had for lunch,” Brian taunted cruelly. He felt like shit talking to Justin that way, but if Justin was going to survive this, and he would survive this damn it, then he’d have to fight. He just found the love of his life and he was not about to let him go and he sure as Hell wasn’t going to allow Justin to give up either.

“Why you narcissistic, egotistical son of a bitch! I’m lying here dying…”

Brian choked out a small tension relieving laugh.

“Now there’s the feisty blond I know and DON’T LOVE,” Brian said, drawing out the last two words.

Justin saw red, his wound totally forgotten, “Oh you are so going to pay for that!”

“Is that a promise?” Brian asked, his voice turning serious.

Justin glowered at him, “Yessss…” he hissed through gritted teeth, “But don’t look so smug. If I survive this,”

“When,” Brian corrected. He noticed some color was returning to Justin’s face and was encouraged by it. The bleeding had subsided a bit; the pressure he’d been applying seemed to be working.

“Ok, when I recover from this, your ass is going to be mine for a long time. Whenever, and wherever I want it…” Justin vowed.

Normally Brian would flinch at the very thought, but not today. Today, Brian would gladly sacrifice his ass, or any part of his antimony to have his blonde back and spitting fire at him.

He was about to return with a snarky remark when the paramedic’s showed up. He leaned over and whispered in Justin’s ear, “this ain’t over Sunshine,” before getting up and letting the paramedic’s do their job. Justin just glared at him, but all Brian could see was the love and devotion Justin felt for him gleam in those beautiful blue eyes. And beneath that…he saw determination. Justin decided he would survive because Brian wanted it, and Justin could never refuse Brian anything…

 

 

 **Part 3**

 

 

“I’m ready now!” Justin snarled then pushed his tray away forcefully, causing the God awful hospital food plate to go flying across the private hospital room Brian had arranged for him.

“I did not fly all the way here to watch you throw a tantrum!” his friend Daphne admonished.

“No one told you to come,” Justin retorted. He was being unnecessarily cruel and God bless Daphne’s soul, she sure didn’t deserve his shit, but if he had to spend another day in the hospital, he was sure he was going to explode.

“Actually, yes, someone did tell me to come. Brian did. He called me and demanded, not asked mind you, but demanded that I come. Said you needed me. Now however I believe he just wanted someone else to stand in as target for your tantrums. You’re acting like a brat. Why are you in such a hurry to leave now Jus? What’s a few more days?” Daphne asked.

When Justin had arrived several days ago, he was rushed into emergency surgery. Luckily, the bullet didn’t hit any major organs, but it did some extensive tearing that needed to be repaired. The doctor told him he’d have a full recovery, but he needed to give himself time. They suggested he stay in the hospital for at least a week, then follow up with physical therapy. It’s been 4 days now and Justin was biting at the bit to be released. He was feeling better, he saw no need to remain in the hospital, and if that weren’t reason enough for him to want to blow this joint, and not in a positive life affirming way, there was another, more pressing reason why he wanted out, and now. Brian…

The last time he saw Brian was when he woke from his surgery. His face, that fucking beautiful face that tortured his every fucking waking, and sleeping moment, was the first face he saw when he opened his eyes. Brian was leaning over him, his hand gently caressing his head, staring down at him with red-rimmed eyes. Justin could have sworn he heard Brian whisper a word of thanks to the Almighty when Justin looked up at him. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Justin’s forehead, and then whispered in his ear….

‘Welcome back Sunshine. I’ll be here when you’re ready to make good on your promise,’

And that was the last time Justin saw, or heard from Brian. The bastard hadn’t been to see him since. Four days. Four fucking days and he didn’t so much as give him a call! He swore he was going to kill him when he saw him.

“Hello? Justin? Where the fuck did you just go? Oh, wait, never mind. Brian,” Daphne said with that knowing smile. Ironically, while Justin hadn’t seen or talked to Brian in days, Daphne was now apparently living with him.

“Fuck you Daph! Brian’s a fucking sadist; I can’t imagine why you’re up his ass! Considering that’s ‘not your thing.” Justin practically snarled at her. There was no mistaking the jealousy in his voice.

Daphne gave him a patronizing smile. “First of all, I’ll let you get away with that remark because I know you’re not yourself. But speak to me like that again, and I’ll have your balls, AND, to quote you, it won’t be in a ‘positive life affirming way’. Are we clear?” she asked her face inches from his.

Justin had the good sense to back down. He grimaced at his own harshness. “Crystal. I’m sorry Daph, I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, ok? You know I love you,” Justin said.

Daphne straightened back up and fluffed his pillow. “I know, and I love you too. As for Brian, he is NOT a sadist. Well, not unless you want him to be I’m sure,” she said impishly.

Justin pulled the pillow from behind his head and flung it at her. She laughed and ducked.

“All kidding aside Justin, you know Brian’s just doing what he thinks is best for you. He knows if he comes to see you there’s going to be fireworks and he doesn’t want to hinder your recovery. They’ll be enough time for fighting when you get out. Besides, this is just as hard on him. Speaking of hard-ons…I saw him, um, at full mast, if you know what I mean, this morning. You should have warned me the man sleeps in the nude! I thought I’d be nice and bring him coffee in bed this morning. He had a rough night. I could hear him trashing and moaning way until dawn,” she said shaking her head sadly as she bent to retrieve the pillow and plate Justin thrown to the floor, “It sounded like one of the nightmares you use to have after you got bashed…” she mused out loud as she threw the pillow back on the bed and placed the plate back on the portable bedside table.

 

“Anyway, imagine my surprise when I opened his bedroom door to find him laying flat on his back, naked! God Justin, he’s fucking to die for with clothes on, but naked, he’s downright devastating!” she said.

Justin disregarded her gushing recounting of her morning glory surprise and honed in on what prompted the inopportune encounter.

“Brian’s having nightmares?” he asked.

Daphne grimaced at her faux pas. She shouldn’t have let that slip. When she mentioned it earlier to Brian he acted like she was just imagining things. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, no less have her go telling Justin about something so personal. She hadn’t known the man long, but in the short time she’d been staying with him, she got to know that he was a very private man. His waters ran deep. Justin had mentioned him to her a few times in their conversations on the phone, but with both their lives being so busy, they didn’t have time to have a real ‘best friend’ chat about what was going on in each others lives. When Brian had called her and told her what happened, she immediately dropped everything to be at Justin’s side.

Brian met her at the airport, and even in her distraught state, she couldn’t help but gawk at the man’s beauty. Her friend was fucked she decided right then and there. Brian brought her straight to the hospital, but refused to go up to Justin’s room with her. He explained that he had some errands to run, and that he didn’t want to intrude on their visit. He knew they hadn’t seen each other in awhile. When she finally left the hospital that evening, more like got kicked out, Brian was waiting for her in the lobby. He brought her back to the Hotel suite he booked across the street from the hospital. He insisted she stay with him, and Shane, who Daphne immediately connected with. The suite was large and boasted 4 bedrooms so each had their own room but Daphne’s was closest to Brian’s, and she could hear him late at night usually pacing, or just rustling around. She swore the man never slept, until last night that is. Last night she knew he was sleeping because she heard him cry out in distress several times. She’d heard those cries before when Justin came to stay with her after he got bashed.

Jennifer, Justin’s mother, insisted he move to LA to be with her after the bashing incident, but he refused, assuring her that he was fine. He was anything but. Still he managed to convince his mother he was, and she went back to her daughter and new husband in Cali. Soon after she left, Justin moved in with Daphne and stayed for two months. And every night for those two months he cried out in terror from nightmares. They finally subsided, or he learned to hide them from her, she never knew which, and he moved out. She was wary of him moving out on his own again, and made a point to visit him frequently. He really did seem fine, or at the very least doing much better, but then, out of the blue, he informs her that he’s moving to Pittsburgh, of all places. On one hand, she was glad he made the decision to make the change. She knew he wasn’t happy working for NYPD anymore. Too many bad memories. But on the other hand, she worried and missed her friend. When Brian called her, her worse nightmare came true. Something bad had happened to him, again.

 

“Um Daph? Now who’s the one spacing out? Where the fuck are you? I asked you a question, is Brian having nightmares.” Justin asked.

Daphne threw him a guilty look. “Listen Jus, don’t tell him I told you, ok? I asked him about it and he acted like I was crazy. He said I must have been either dreaming myself, or hearing things. I asked Shane if she heard him, but she said she didn’t hear a thing. I think she was just protecting him. He’ll be real pissed if he knows I told you,” she said.

Justin snorted. “It figures. Here I am ready to be good and pissed at him, and he pulls something like this,” he said with a loud exaggerated sigh. “Well, that settles it. I’m getting out today,” he announced then gingerly swung his legs over the side of the bed and rang for the nurse.

“Justin you can’t!”

“Can’t what?” Shane said from the doorway.

Shane had been his only other visitor during his hospital stay. Ted, Lucas and Cynthia went back to the Pits, though they called everyday, along with the rest of the gang. Shane and Daphne were the only ones ‘allowed’ to stay via orders from his majesty. Brian didn’t want anything to interfere with his recovery, and that included not having too many visitors. Justin believed Brian only allowed Shane to stay because she needed to be near Josh.

Josh had been charged with manslaughter. Brian bailed him out and got him a good lawyer. The poor boy had snapped though. The judge ordered him into a psychiatric unit for evaluation. The doctors said he needed long-term treatment. They diagnosed him with PTSD. The lawyer thought it was the best thing to happen to Josh. He was sure he could get the charges dropped against his client on the grounds that he was not responsible for his actions for ‘reason’s of insanity’.

Shane visited Josh and Justin every day. The psych ward was on the third floor in the same hospital. Justin knew she felt responsible for the boys’ actions. Josh was a brave kid whose life was forever changed because he was pushed over the edge by those animals. It was a senseless tragedy that Shane felt she could have avoided if she only confided in the kid that she was still alive…It was Justin who talked her out of doing just that by telling her what happened to him when he trusted a civilian on a case. It nearly got him killed. Shane heeded his advice not suspecting that Josh would instead fall victim to their charade.

Justin felt a pang of remorse himself. This case left its mark on each and everyone of them. He got shot, Brian was having nightmares and Shane would forever feel the guilt of having ruined a young boys’ life.

Sometimes, life just plain out sucked he thought.

“Blondie here was to get sprung early,” Daphne answered Shane.

Shane walked into the room, “Cool, doc ok’d it?” she asked.

“I ok’d it. I’m signing myself out,” Justin said.

“Brian’s not going to be happy about this Justin. Why not just stay another day? It couldn’t hurt,” Shane offered.

“It won’t help either. People get sick and die in hospitals Shane. I’d like to recover thank you very much. I’ll stay at that fancy hotel suite you guys are staying in for the remaining few days if that will make everyone happy. God knows it will make me happy! Remember me? The patient? Why do you three get to live it up in style while I’m stuck here eating this God awful food and sleeping on this hard ass bed?!” Justin whined.

“Never heard you complain about a ‘hard ass’ before,” Daphne said. Justin rolled his eyes in frustration.

“Is there something you need Mr. Taylor?” The nurse entered the room and immediately went to check Justin’s pulse. Justin snatched his hand away.

“I’ll be leaving the hospital today, please get me the necessary papers to sign,” Justin said.

“I’m sorry Mr. Taylor, but your doctor hasn’t released you yet, it’s not wise to leave on your own accord,” she said.

“Wise or not, it’s my right. So get the papers,” Justin insisted.

Daphne and Shane exchanged worried looks.

“Dr. Kelder is doing rounds this morning. He’ll be stopping in shortly, you can discuss your request with him then,” the nurse informed him. Justin actually growled at her…she wisely turned around and left the room.

“Jesus Justin, maybe you should ask the doctor to give you some nice pills before you leave. You’re turning into a real bear,” Daphne said.

“Humph…and his partner ‘bear’ is just as grumpy as him. Maybe it’s best if he does come back to the hotel with us. They can growl at each other and leave us alone,” Shane said to Daphne then turned to Justin, “You do realize of course that if you do move into the suite, Brian will most likely hire a full time nurse to look after you, don’t you?” she asked.

“I’m perfectly aware that he’ll try to baby me and it might surprise you to know I won’t object,” Justin said with an impish smile playing on his lips.

He had every intention of making Brian cater to his every whim once he was back at the Hotel. He was going to milk this injury as long as he could. He knew he was being petty, and a little mean, but he was angry with Brian for not coming to see him, even if he did concede that it was probably best. He was pretty weak the first couple of days after the surgery, yet he knew he’d have found the strength to rip Brian a new one for provoking him as he lay bleeding, even though it was what probably saved his life… But even knowing that he still would have fought with him and that would have been energy wasted; energy that he needed to heal. In the end, Justin had to admit that Brian did what was best for him. Still…he had this perverse need to see his partner squirm a bit…

Partner…

He could use that word now as it was clear that they were indeed partners, though he was sure Brian would slit his wrist before using such a lesbianic label. Still, there was no denying it now. They were partners. All the details of their relationship still had to be ironed out, but Justin figured they’d have a lifetime…provided they managed not to get themselves killed….to work that out. Brian’s idea of opening up an Advertising agency was starting to sound better and better these days….

“Uh oh, I know that look. Justin Taylor what are you planning?” his best friend asked.

Justin laughed. “Nothing his majesty can’t handle,” he said.

“Hmmm…well if you’re determined to do this, let’s get you packed,” Shane said then walked over to the small metal closet and started retrieving his clothes. Daphne sat on the bed besides Justin.

“Your mother called again today Jus, I can’t keep lying to her,” she said.

Justin made it clear to Brian in the ambulance on the way to the hospital that he did not want his mother contacted, not unless it was absolutely necessary. Both Brian and Daphne were against his decision, but both respected his wish. He would call her himself when the time was right. Apparently, that time was now. He couldn’t avoid her much longer, in fact he wasn’t trying to avoid her at all…he was trying to protect her.

She’d been through enough with him getting bashed. She never left his side while he was in the hospital and when he got out, he went to live with her for awhile. Those first few weeks were Hell on her. His moods were unpredictable, and dangerous. He’d fly into uncontrollable rages for no reason at all, sometimes breaking things in the house, sometimes hurting himself…Once he inadvertently hurt his mother by yanking away from her when she tried to calm him down. She stumbled back and he had to catch her before she fell. It was then he realized he’d never put her through that again. That’s when he learned to bury his pain and not just the pain from the attack, but from the betrayal. He never thought he’d be able to trust or ‘feel’ again after what Hobbs did to him. He may not have loved Hobbs, but there was true affection there, at least on his part. But more importantly there was trust. He trusted Hobbs and that trust was betrayed leaving him with a wound that went deeper than a cracked skull.

For a long time afterwards he was numb. He walled himself up emotionally so tight, making sure that no one could ever touch that vulnerable place inside of him ever again, that he was starting to believe that he would never be able to feel again. And that was just fine with him. But then, Brian came along and he felt his wall start to crumble. It wasn’t long before his walls were completely Broken Open and a floodtide of emotions poured from him. At times, it was so overwhelming he felt like he was drowning, but God what a way to go. Loving Brian scared the shit out of him, but not being able to love him scared him even more. He thanked God every day since meeting Brian for bringing him into his life. Brian made him feel alive again. He felt…healed.

Still…. he knew he had some unresolved issues he needed to deal with. Perhaps, he thought, it was because he never had closure. God he hated that word almost as much as Brian did, but it certainly applied in his case. He never got to confront Hobbs about what he did. The man went to jail, and that was that. End of story. But it wasn’t. That particular story still needed an ending. He once told Brian that he got past what Hobbs did to him. When Brian asked him how, he replied, ““I had to. Can you imagine holding on to something like that?”

It was unimaginable, and thus Justin buried it, but he never got ‘past’ or ‘over’ it. It was still there, he’d just been repressing it for so long he hadn’t even realized he was still harboring unresolved feelings over the incident. It took a bullet to the gut to wake up those old ‘feelings’. Feelings he knew he shouldn’t be having considering how fucking happy he was now. It wasn’t fair. What he and Brian had was unique and real and so unexpected. He never in his life would have believed that he could ever trust, no less love again, yet against all odds he found someone who he had no qualms or reservations about giving his heart to. A man who he believed with every fiber in his being would always be there for him…would never betray him…would always be a part of him…

“Hey, space man, I’m talking to you. I said you better call your mother, and soon. I hate lying to her,” Daphne said interrupting Justin’s thoughts. He turned and smiled at her.

Yeah, he thought, it was time he called his mother. Part of the reason why he didn’t want his mother to come was because she would have brought memories of another hospital stay; however that was moot at this point. Obviously those memories were still there and eventually he needed to find a way to deal with them. But for now, he was content to just bask in his happiness, and he wanted to share that with his mother. She’d shared in his pain; it was only fair she share in his happiness. He wanted her to meet Brian, something he never did with any other man. Justin never brought a man home to meet his mother. He wondered, with impish glee, how Brian was going to react to that meeting.

“I’ll call her Daph, tomorrow I promise. But tonight, there are a few things I need to take care of first,” Justin said putting his arm around his best friends shoulders.

“Those few ‘things’ could land you back in the hospital. You’re still recovering remember, you can’t be having marathon sex with that Greek God you call your partner. You need to take it easy. And if that’s not a concern to you then have some consideration for your poor friend, whose bedroom is right next to yours by the way, and who probably won’t get a wink of sleep because of all the noise coming through the walls!” Daphne said.

Justin laughed, “You are so full of shit Daph, knowing you, you’ll have your ear pressed to a glass against the wall straining to hear every juicy sound coming from our room,” he teased.

Daphne shrugged. “Hey, gay sex is hot, what can I say?”

“What’s this I hear about you wanting to be discharged?” Dr. Kelder said startling them. He had somehow materialized in front of them. Neither heard him enter the room.

“Jesus Doc, you nearly scared the shit out of me!” Justin said.

Dr. Kelder shot Justin a stern look and grabbed his wrist. This time Justin let his pulse be taken.

“You better have a stronger constitution than that Son, if you want to have all that gay sex,” he teased.

Daphne put her hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laugh, Shane did no such thing; she let out a full boisterous laugh. Justin turned red.

“Um, sorry you heard that. We were just joking around,” he said. Last thing he wanted was Kelder to insist he stay in the hospital because he was afraid Justin was going to overexert himself.

“Uh huh,” Kelder murmured unconvincingly.

“Listen Doc, I really need to get out of here, I can’t sleep in this bed, the food is…”

“Alright, alright Mr. Taylor, settle down. I’m going to release you, but only if you agree to follow up with your own doctor in one week, and I want you to promise me if you have any unusual pain, or symptoms, you come back to the hospital, immediately,” the doctor said.

Justin graced him with one of his million watt smiles and the doctor, for the first time in his life, envied another man. “I promise doc!” Justin said.

The doctor wrote a prescription and handed it to Justin, “You’ll still have some tenderness where I took the stitches out, but it shouldn’t be too bad. Take these only if you need to,” he said.

Justin took the prescription from him and thanked him. Kelder turned to leave, but then stopped by the door and turned back around, “One more thing, easy on the sex for awhile, just light stuff…and…oh never mind, I’ll tell Mr. Kinney myself when he calls. I doubt you’ll listen to me,” The doctor said then turned to leave again.

“Wait! What do you mean when he calls? As far as I know he hasn’t called once,” Justin said.

Kelder looked surprised, “Nonsense, Mr. Kinney calls me several times a day to check on your progress.

Justin’s mouth dropped open. Kelder saw his shocked expression and softened his tone.

“Your partner has been very concerned about you. I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic to know you’re well enough to go home,” he said.

Justin’s shock turned to curiosity. “Wait, how do you know he’s my partner?” he asked.

“Why that’s how he introduced himself of course. Did he misrepresent your relationship?” The doctor asked with grave concern.

Justin shook his head, “No, no…he is my partner. Thank you doctor. I’ll make an appointment with my doctor as soon as I get home,” he said.

Dr. Kelder nodded, satisfied with his response, and left the room.

‘Partner’. Brian had graduated to using the ‘dreaded’ label to describe their relationship. He looked down at the prescription in his and balled it up in his fist. He didn’t need the pills; the doc just gave him the best medicine…

 

 **Part 4**

 

“I love you too Sonny boy,” Brian told his son over the phone. This was turning out to be a pretty good day, all things considered, he thought.

Justin was being released from the hospital, and they’d be home in time for his son’s birthday. He spent the last two days convincing the munchers to let him throw the biggest, most spectacular children’s party ever. When he told them that he planned to hire a traveling circus to perform at the party he thought they’d flip, but in the end they relented. Brian didn’t even care that they probably did so because they got wind of what happened on this latest case, he was just happy they weren’t giving him shit. After all that had transpired in the past few weeks, he needed to celebrate life, and all that was good about it.

He hung up the phone and walked towards the huge bay windows of the suite and looked down. Justin and the girls should be arriving any moment. His excitement over seeing Justin again was tangible. It was by far the most lesbianic feeling he’s ever had, but he didn’t give a shit. He just couldn’t wait to have his blond back in his arms again, even though it wouldn’t be a ‘joyous’ reunion…at first. Oh no, he was going to have to suffer Justin’s wrath for not coming to see him in the hospital first. He shuddered to think how furious his blue-eyed tiger would be, and yet at the same time it made him hard. ‘You’re a sick man Kinney,’ he concluded with a wicked smile on his face.

The vibration in pocket startled him. He knew he was getting anxious but he never ‘vibrated’ before. A chime followed and he realized it was his cell phone. He laughed out loud at his own imaginations and pulled out his phone.

“Kinney,” he answered.

“Um, Mr. Kinney, you don’t know me, but I’m Justin Taylor’s mother,”

‘Fuck!’ Why was Justin’s mother calling him? And how the fuck did she get his number….

“Mr. Kinney?”

Brian cleared his throat, “Yes, how may I help you Mrs. Taylor?”

“I’m remarried Mr. Kinney. I’m Mrs. Tucker now, but you may call me Jennifer,” she said.

“What can I do for you Jennifer, and please, call me Brian,”

“Yes, well I hope this is not an imposition Mr. Kinney, but I’ve been calling Daphne looking for my son because I haven’t been able to reach him in days and she’s been giving me the run around. She suggested I call you, though I’ve no idea why. Are you a friend of my son’s? Do you know how I can reach him?” she asked.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’

He was going to strangle Daphne when she got back. The little witch pawned Justin’s mother off on him! He’s never met the woman, and she has no fucking clue who he is! What was he going to tell her? He would never break Justin’s trust.

“Mrs. Tucker,” Brian said choosing NOT to use her given name as she suggestion, since she snubbed his offer of using his first name. “I’m sure Justin will be contacting you soon,” he said.

“That’s not what I asked you Mr. Kinney,” she replied.

Well that explains where Justin gets his ‘waspish’ side. There was an authoritative tone to her voice that grated on Brian’s nerves.

“No, it wasn’t,” he responded in an equally frosty voice.

There was a few seconds of silence on the other end.

“I see it was a mistake to call. Daphne obviously was mistaken about you. It’s apparent you are of no use to me,” she said.

‘Fuck, ouch!’ Who the fuck did this woman think she was?

“Apparently not. Perhaps Mrs. Tucker, if you had a better relationship with your son you wouldn’t need to call up strangers inquiring about his whereabouts,” Brian said. The sarcasm in his voice was heavy. He knew he was being rude, but hey, she started it!

“My relationship with my son is none of your business,” she said.

“Right back at you,” Brian snipped. God this woman was infuriating!

He heard her ‘harrumph’ on the other end.

“Giving me your number was obviously Daphne’s idea of a joke. One of poor taste not surprisingly. That girl was always too willful and undisciplined. It’s clear that you have no knowledge of my son. Someone of your crude disposition couldn’t possibly be acquainted with my son,” she said.

“Crude? Lady if you think that was crude,”

“Good day Mr. Kinney,” click! Brian stared at the phone in disbelief.

“Honey, I’m home!” Justin entered the hotel suite yelling out the endearment with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

Brian turned to face him, his cell phone still open in his hand.

“Your mother is a Bitch!”

And those….were fighting words.

 

Part 5

 

“I don’t give a shit! You don’t fucking get to call my mother a bitch! You’ve no idea what she has sacrificed for me! All she’s been through because of me!” Justin said pacing the bedroom.

They’d been at it for almost an hour now. Shane and Daphne removed themselves from the line of fire and decided to go out to dinner, but not before Brian let Daphne have it. She took it too, she had no idea how badly the conversation would go. She just thought to get Justin’s mother off her back. She couldn’t lie to her anymore; she felt Brian might handle her better. She was wrong. She apologized at least a dozen times, none of which either Brian or Justin accepted, then gave up and left with Shane. Justin wished he could have went with them, he was spitting mad at Brian, more so for insulting his mother, than for not visiting him in the hospital.

“She’s not fucking mother Teresa, ok? She’s your mother. It’s her JOB to sacrifice for you! To give you whatever you need. I get it! I have a son too whom I would do anything…sacrifice anything, or anyone.” Brian paused on that last part making sure Justin got his meaning. He did, and his face turned redder, if that were possible. Brian didn’t care; he was tired of being treated like an emotional punching bag by his blonde. Justin was being unreasonable, and downright cruel, “for my son. But it does NOT give her, or me, the right to be rude and condescending to those who might also care for their child!” he said.

Justin snorted, “And how the fuck would feel if I treated your mother like you treated mine?”

Brian curled his lip in disgust, “Trust me Sunshine, I wouldn’t give a shit. They can go to Hell for all I care, though I’m sure my dear old Dad is already there, and Mother won’t be far behind him when she dies. But let’s be clear, I only treated your mother the way she treated me! And I did NOT call her a bitch, well not to her face; I called her a bitch to you. WHICH she was being on the phone!”

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger trying to ward off the migraine he felt coming on. They’d been going in circles.

Justin’s anger deflated a bit over hearing Brian speak of his parents like that. They never discussed their parents with each other. There really wasn’t any time. Since they’ve met they’ve been embroiled in one adventure after another. Justin met Brian’s son and family…well the people he called family anyway, but that was the extent of it. He just assumed that his real parents were dead. He remembered Deb telling him something about Brian’s parent’s not being exactly ‘attentive’, and that’s why he was over her house all the time, but he had no idea Brian had this much anger and resentment towards them. He suddenly felt very tired. He sat on the bed and let out a weary sigh.

Brian heard and correctly interpreted that sigh. He immediately felt contrite. He should have not started this argument…well technically he didn’t, Justin’s mother did, but that was a moot point. This was too much stress on his blonde.

“Just lay down and rest, I’ll call your mother and apologize, ok? I’ll make it right. Are you in pain? Is there anything you need?’ Brian asked concern heavy in his voice.

Justin looked up at him and Brian winced at how pale he looked.

“I think I need you to leave me alone for awhile,” Justin said.

Brian’s heart clenched painfully in his chest, but he should have expected it. Justin was already mad at him for not visiting him in the hospital, he knew he’d receive Hell for that, but he didn’t expect to be fighting with him over his mother. He didn’t blame his blonde for wanting to distance himself from him…

“I’ll be in the next room if you need anything,” Brian said then turned to leave.

“No wait, don’t go,” Justin said. He was so fucking mad at Brian right now. His emotions were all over the place. If he were honest with himself, this wasn’t about his mother. Sure he was mad at Brian for being rude to his mother, but he knew Brian would make it right. No, his anger stemmed from the treatment Brian had given him, not his mother. First, by not telling him his feelings when he thought he was dying, then by abandoning him in the hospital. Though his mind in both instances understood that Brian was only doing what he felt was best for Justin at the time, his heart wasn’t ready to accept that. Good intentions or not, he was still hurt.

Brian turned and looked at Justin expectantly. He looked so tortured, Brian wanted nothing more than to gather him in his arms and sooth all his pain, but he couldn’t. It was killing him knowing he was the source of that pain.

“Why didn’t you come to the hospital?” Justin asked in a weak voice.

“You know why.”

Justin shook his head. “No, I don’t. I mean, I do, I understand in my head…but my heart is having a hard time grasping why,” he said.

Brian closed his eyes and swallowed the pain he felt rise in his chest. He opened his eyes and walked over to the bed and sat down besides Justin, taking his hand in his own.

“What does your heart tell you?” Brian asked.

Justin leaned his shoulder against Brian’s and let out a half sob. “I don’t know, I’m too tired,” he said.

Brian pulled him closer, “Well then let me remind your heart of a few things it should already know. First, I would never put my own selfish needs ahead of yours. Don’t you know how much I wanted to be with you? It was killing me to stay away! But it would not have been good for you,” Brian let that sink in for a minute. When he felt Justin accept his words, and relax in his arms he continued.

“I meant what I said about my son, I would sacrifice anything for him, I love him that much. Yeah, I know…love. That dreaded word that I like to avoid at all cost. But you know what? You were right. There are those rare occasions where it actually does mean something. It means something when it comes to by boy. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him, and….there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Even if that something meant risking having you hate me, I would do it. I knew if I told you that I didn’t ‘not’ love you too, that day you got…” Brian paused, he couldn’t say it.

“Shot. I got shot Brian, it’s ok. It’s over,” Justin said wrapping his arms tightly around Brian. “I got shot, but I survived,”

Brian looked down at him, “I know, and I thank God for that. It was close Justin, though I’d die before I let you know that. If I told you what you wanted to hear, you would have felt closure and been content to die, if that was to be your fate. But I was spitting ‘fate’ in the face. I knew how mad my words would make you. I was counting on it. And that anger, that ‘need’ to give me my comeuppance, was greater than your need to just let go. As for not going to see you in the hospital, again, that need to give me my comeuppance was stronger than your need to rest and heal, so I stayed away.” Brian explained.

Justin sighed and sunk deeper into him. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Sorry’s bullshit Sunshine. You got nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who acted like a shit,” Brian said.

“No, you’re the one who did what needed to be done to save me. Even though I hated what you did, it’s what I needed. That’s love Brian,” Justin said.

“Hmmm…is it now?” Brian said and Justin could hear the teasing in his tone. He lightly punched him in the chest.

“You know it is, don’t be obtuse,” Justin said.

“Wow, you just sounded like your mother!” Brian said then laughed.

Justin looked up at him with a raised brow, “As for my mother…”

“Yeah, I know. I said I’d call her and apologize, and I will,” Brian said.

“You don’t have to call her. You can tell her in person. Brian…I want you to meet my mother. When we get back to the Pits, I’m inviting her for a visit,” Justin said.

Brian groaned. “Just what I fucking need. Why do I have visions of “Meet the Fockers” running through my head?”

“Because Robert Di Nero turns you on?” Justin teased.

“No because like Di Nero, your mother hates me,” Brian said.

“Once she meets you, she’ll love you! Everyone does you know. Daphne is crazy about you and Daphne is very particular,” Justin said.

Brian groaned again. “Another person I have to apologize to…God I hate apologies, they’re bullshit,” he said.

“So why do it?”

“Because it would make you happy, and I thought I just established that I would do anything to make you happy,” Brian gripped.

Justin purred seductively and snuggled closure to Brian, “Well then Mr. Kinney, I suggest you get right on that task and start making me happy. I’ve got this itch you see, and I’d like you to scratch it all….night…long…” Justin drawled, licking Brian’s ear with each word.

“Slow down tiger. The doctor said you had to take it easy,” Brian cautioned.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to let you do all the work,” Justin suggested seductively.

Brian pulled back from Justin and started to remove his shirt.

“I just realized something,” he said divested Justin of the rest of his clothes.

“What’s that?”

“That I like following Doctor’s orders,” Brian said.

Justin moved back on the bed and Brian followed. “Good, because he told me I need plenty of bed rest,” he said.

“Oh trust me Sunshine, I don’t intend to let you leave this bed for a very long time,”

And Brian kept true to his word. He kept Justin in bed, and sated for the next two days.


	14. Chapter 14

“It’s not fair! I want to go!”

Jennifer thought there was nothing more irritating than the contrived whining of a fifteen year old girl, then reevaluated that sentiment when she recalled her son throwing a similar tantrum at around that age because she wouldn’t let him take her car out cruising on a school night. Now that was irritating. There was no contest, she concluded, Justin beat his sister hands down in the ‘drama queen out’ department.

“Well you can’t. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone and you can’t afford to miss any amount of school, not with your grades,” Jennifer said.

“My grades are fine! You just don’t want me to see my brother!” Molly accused.

Jennifer shot her a stern look, “Molly…” she said, using her ‘no nonsense’ voice.

Molly stomped her foot and folded her arms across her chest. Jennifer used all her will not to roll her eyes.

“What about Hillary’s party, Mol? I thought you were looking forward to that?” Jeffery, Jennifer’s husband, chimed in.

Molly shot him a dubious look, “Um, well, that’s not until next week,” she stammered, weakly.

“Who’s to say I’ll be back by next week?” Jennifer jumped on the opening her husband gave her, throwing him a sly, grateful smile for his help.

She married Jeffery Tucker just three years ago, against many objections, none more so than from her own son’s, and was grateful every day for her brave choice. Brave, because a woman of her age had to have a hell of a lot of confidence to marry a man twelve years her junior. That, and stamina. The man was insatiable in bed.

“Just don’t stay away too long,” her husband purred in her ear, as he passed her by on his way to the kitchen.

Molly made a growling sound in the back of her throat, a clear indication of her frustration over the whole situation.

“Well it’s just not fair!” she made one last attempt at winning what she now understood was a losing battle.

Her mother took pity on her, “I promise you’ll get to see your brother over Christmas break. If he doesn’t come here, we’ll go to Pittsburgh,” she said.

Molly huffed out her irritation, refusing to acknowledge her mother’s so called compromise and stormed out of the room muttering under her breath.

Jennifer sighed and went to join her husband in the kitchen. She was not surprised to see the reproachful look on his face.

“You’re going there to start trouble, aren’t you?” Jeffery asked, then continued before she had a chance to respond, “You need to stay out of his affairs. He’s not your little boy anymore, he’s a man, and he has the right to make his own choices without your interference,” he said.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes and scowled at him. “I just want him to be happy!” she said.

Jeffery sighed and opened the refrigerator door. He grabbed the container of milk and drank from it as he studied his wife. “What makes you think he’s not happy?” he asked, wiping his mouth.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Jennifer said ignoring her husband’s question.

“Do what?” he asked innocently.

“Drink from the milk carton. It’s unsanitary,” she remarked.

Jeffery graced her with a sexy grin as he placed the now empty carton on the kitchen counter, “What we did last night was pretty unsanitary, yet it didn’t seem to bother you,” he said, in a low seductive voice.

Jennifer blushed and turned away from him, “Yeah, well you bring out the worst in me,” she teased.

Jeffery laughed low in his throat, “And you bring out the best in me,” he said, grabbing her from behind.

Jennifer let out a small half squeal, half laugh. “You’re insatiable,” she said.

“Are you complaining?” he asked.

“No, bragging,” she answered saucily.

Jeffery laughed and turned her around to face him. “Why Mrs. Tucker, I do believe you are trying to seduce me,” he said.

“Oh no you don’t! You don’t get to use lines from The Graduate on me. That’s hitting too close to home,” she said, pushing away from him.

“What? I thought Cougars were all the rage this season?” her husband taunted.

Jennifer slapped his arm playfully. “Be careful, Tucker, you’re treading on dangerous ground here. Remember, cougars have claws, and I’m not afraid to use mine,” she said.

Jeffery put his hands up in defeat. “Ok, I give,” he said laughing.

“Seriously though, promise me you’ll keep those claws sheathed when meeting your son’s boyfriend, ok?” Jeffery said.

The playfulness Jennifer was feeling just a moment ago disappeared. “I can’t make that promise,” she said.

Jeffery frowned, “Jen, honey, I don’t understand you. This is the first guy Justin’s been seriously interested in since...the incident,” he said, uneasily. Jennifer still had a hard time talking about that time. It was still too fresh and raw for her, even though it had been over two years, “And he wants you to meet him. That’s big,” he said.

“I know it is, and that’s the problem. He’s not ready. Emotionally he’s still very vulnerable. Under normal circumstances, before the…incident, he never would have taken up with this ‘Brian’ person. I know my son, his judgment is off. I need to stop him from making a terrible mistake. That man he calls his ‘boyfriend’ is clearly unsuitable,” she said.

“And you’re basing this on one phone conversation you had with him?” Jeffery’s voice sounded condescending, which did NOT sit well with Jennifer.

“Yes, I am basing it on one conversation! He was arrogant, rude and down right obnoxious to me. I shudder to think how he is treating my son!” she said.

“Oh come on Jen! You know damn well Justin would never let anyone treat him badly! He has more respect for himself than that,” Jeffery countered.

“Does he? I wonder. How much respect did he have for himself for the past year and a half, working his way through every gay man in New York City? Before the incident, Justin never slept around like that. He dated that nice boy Matt for a long time before he got mixed up with that animal Chris Hobbs. Hobbs did a number on him both physically and emotionally. My son has been unable to trust people ever since,” Jen said, her voice breaking with her emotions.

Jeffery walked up to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I know. But apparently that’s now changed. He’s found someone he trusts. Well, trusts enough to want to introduce him to you. You have to respect that,” he said.

Jennifer shook her head, “I can’t. He may trust this Brian character, but I don’t. I’m telling you Jeffery, he’s bad for my son. I know it, I can feel it. Justin is not thinking clearly. He’s gotten himself mixed up with someone who’s going to hurt him. He can’t see it either. You know how stubborn he is. When he gets something in his head, it’s near impossible to get him to change his mind! And this ‘Brian’ is in his head,” Jen said.

Jeffery made a small half chocking half laugh sound, “Yeah and in his bed, which he must be really good in for Justin to want to bring him home to meet his mother,” he said.

Jennifer threw him a stern look. “First, I really don’t need that image in my head; however, you’re probably right, which just makes the situation more dire. He has a hold on my son that isn’t going to be easy to break,” Jennifer mused out loud.

Jeffery narrowed his eyes. “I really don’t like the sound of that. It sounds like you’re plotting something. Justin is NOT going to appreciate you interfering in his life,” he warned.

Jennifer waved her hand at him in dismissal. “Don’t be silly. I won’t be obvious. I’m just going to give this Brian the opportunity to show his true colors. Right now my son is blinded by this man. You should have heard him on the phone! I haven’t heard him that excited since…” Jennifer paused, her brow furrowed in thought, “In fact, I’ve never hear him that excited before. God this is worse than I thought!” she said then headed towards the bedroom. “I need to finish packing, the sooner I get there, the better,” she said.

Jeffery shook his head and sighed. He knew his wife, and just like her son, when she got something into her head, there was no getting it out. He feared she was going to learn the hard way not to meddle in affairs of the heart. It was a lesson, he would have thought, she learned years ago when her son tried to meddle in her affairs. It the end, it turned out fine, but not without its’ casualties. Jeffery feared that this situation would be no different. He only hoped both mother and son would emerge from this without too much damage to their relationship.

 

Jennifer pulled out her Luis Vuitton suitcase and started throwing items into it. Her mind went back to three days ago when Justin called her, telling her he got shot. She thought she’d pass out from the news, but he assured her it was just a flesh wound, but that it could have been worse if this ‘Brian’ character hadn’t been there and saved his life. He went on to regale her of all the virtues of his new ‘boyfriend’ Boyfriend! Jennifer recoiled inwardly from the term. She remembered all too well the phone conversation she had the day before with said ‘boyfriend’. He never bothered to tell her that her son had been shot! Instead he was rude and evasive. What kind of man holds that kind of information from a mother? She knew what kind. The selfish kind that took what he wanted, regardless of other’s feelings. If he could treat her that way, the mother of his lover/partner, or whatever they were to each other, then there was no reason to believe he would treat her son any better.

She finished packing and looked at the clock. Three hours till her flight. She turned to find her husband standing in the doorway of their bedroom.

“Promise me one thing,” he said, holding her gaze.

“If I can,” she replied.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret. This is your son. You know him. You can only manipulate him for so long,” he said walking towards her.

Jennifer put her hand to her throat, “How dare you, I would never manipulate my son!” she said, in a hurt voice.

Jeffery’s gaze softened, but his words were firm, “Yes you would… if you thought it was best for him. What’s past is past Jen. Leave it be. Don’t use it against him,” he said.

Jennifer’s face flamed red. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my son safe! You’ve no idea what we went through after the…incident. The physical injuries were nothing compared to the emotional damage done to him. His moods were so volatile, I almost had to institutionalize….” She stopped mid sentence realizing what she was saying, and the implications of her words.

Jeffery frowned at her, “And that’s precisely what he doesn’t need to be reminded of. Don’t use that time as a point reference to his current situation. If you throw his past behavior in his face to question his current actions you’ll lose him,” Jeffery said.

Jennifer looked away from him, ashamed. He was right, that was exactly what she was thinking of doing. But in her own defense, she truly believed Justin was still too emotionally damaged to be jumping into a relationship with anyone, no less someone as crude as the man she spoke to on the phone. Professionally, he was fine, but his personal life had been a mess. Going from one man to another, never forming close relationships. She had talked to him about it a few times but was always shut down. Now, however, the situation demanded she take action. He was in danger of getting hurt by that despicable man. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Regardless of the fact she might lose him. She was his mother, and her goal was to keep him safe at all costs. And from what she’d been witnessing with these current unexpected events, her son was about to make a huge mistake. It was time she took matters in her own hands.

She turned around and grabbed her bag from the bed, “I know you’re right, but it’s a chance I’ll have to take. I can’t sit back and watch him ruin his life,” she said, determinedly.

Jeffery closed his eyes and breathed in deep. His heart went out to his wife. There was nothing he could say to stop her from the disaster he knew was to come. Opening his eyes again he gave her a tentative smile.

“Come on, I’ll drive you to the airport,” he said, taking the bag from her.

She frowned at him quizzically, “That’s it? You’re not going to try and stop me? Or at the very least, lecture me some more?” she asked.

Jeffery leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose, “If there is one thing I’ve learned since coming into this family is that there’s no stopping a Taylor once they get something in their head. You are the most stubborn lot of people ever to walk the face of this earth,” he said.

Jennifer laughed, “Good thing for you too. If I weren’t so stubborn, we may not be married today,” she said.

Jeffery gave her a triumphant look, “Exactly. You wouldn’t let anyone, not even your own son get in the way of us getting together. And Justin, in case you’ve forgotten, is his mother’s son,” he said.

 

Part 2

 

“Kinney’s Private Dicks! You drop it, we’ll spot it. He cheats, we’ll peak. Loved one gone, we’ll find him by dawn. You need a trace? This is the place! No job too big, no job too small. We’re here to service one and all. How may I help you?” Agnes answered the phone with her signature greeting.

“Is she always so cheerful?” Lucas asked Emmett as he passed his desk.

“As a mouse,” Emmett replied.

“A mouse?” Lucas asked furrowing his brow in confusion.

Emmett rolled his eyes at the man’s obvious lack of education. “Yes, as a mouse. As in Mickey Mouse? Who is more cheerful than Mickey Mouse?” he challenged.

Now it was Lucas’s turn to roll his eyes. “Sorry, not up on my Disney character references,” he said.

Emmett gave him a haughty ‘harrumph’, “Just because you’re straight is no excuse for ignorance when it comes to the enchanted and whimsical.”

“Hmmm, well I’ll leave the enchanted and the whimsical to the experts. I’m more of a logical antagonist,” Lucas said.

Emmett slapped his arm playfully, “So that’s what you’ve been doing with our gal, huh? Antagonizing her?” he said with a devilish grin.

Lucas laughed, “Logically speaking,” he said tongue in cheek. Truth was it had been several weeks of rock and roll madness with his flaxen haired vixen. They’d been so embroiled in one assignment after another that neither had time to breathe, no less talk. He had no idea whether or not they were compatible. Well, outside their sexual relationship. That was the one area they were in perfect sync. And he knew that because they had lots of it….hot, raw, steamy, even angry sex at times, but that’s where their synergy ended. Their personalities were as different as day and night. Lucas was brash, hard core, cynical and jaded. Worse than that, he was used goods. Cynthia was bright, intelligent, witty, sarcastic at times, but full of enthusiasm, hope and promise.

 

“Justin!” Agnes’s loud greeting rang loudly through the office shaking Lucas from his thoughts.

“Ah the prodigal son returns,” Lucas said smiling at seeing his friend walk through the doors. Friend…Lucas shook his head at the term, yet he couldn’t deny it. This last assignment bonded them all in a way that wouldn’t soon, if ever, be broken.

Emmett let out a small grateful sigh, “Thank God. To think we could have lost him,” he said.

Lucas turned to stare at him. “Nah, Boss man wouldn’t let that happen. He’s got a particular interest in his blond employee. And he was not about to let a little thing like ‘death’ deter him from his pursuit of his ‘interests’,” he teased.

Emmett wanted to look offended, or outraged at Lucas’s callous flippancy over what was in truth, a very close call for Justin, but he couldn’t. The assignment was over, and thankfully, everything turned out fine. Well, as fine as could be expected. One boy was dead, another institutionalized.

Lucas saw the consternation on Emmett’s face and felt immediate regret for his thoughtless comment. “Hey, I’m sorry. Bad jest. This case was nothing to joke about. You’re right. Justin could have died, one boy did, and another is in an institution. I’m an ass,” Lucas said.

Emmett shook his head, “No, it’s ok. We really should be grateful, it could have been worse,” he said.

Both men were silent for a moment as they watched the cousins embrace.

“Shane said Josh is getting released soon, that’s good news,” Lucas said.

Emmett perked up, “I heard! That is good news. He’s suffered way too much for someone so young,” Emmett said shaking his head sadly. “He’s lucky to have such supportive parents. Did you know his father quit his job and put their house on the market? Mr. Harron said he wanted his son to have a fresh start in a place that was more tolerant,” he said.

“Yeah, I know. Brian had Ted lease them an apartment in one of his buildings on Tremont Street here in Pittsburgh. I didn’t know your boss was a real-estate tycoon,” Lucas said.

“Wouldn’t call him a ‘tycoon,’ he owns one or two apartment buildings in the city and an office complex uptown. Oh, and he owns Babylon. That’s all I know of anyway. Brian has many investments half of which no one is aware of,” Emmett said.

“Well it’s a lucky thing for the Harrons in any case. He’s leasing them the apartment for a fraction of the normal rent. Shane’s ecstatic; they’ll be living literally right down the block from her. And it’s close to Liberty Avenue. Can’t get more tolerant than there. Plus, I heard Brian called in a favor from an old client and got Josh’s father a job with his firm. Apparently you guys busted a ring of employees who were stealing from this guy’s company awhile back and he was more than happy to do Brian the favor,” Lucas said.

“George Schikle?! I remember him. Sexy old guy. Yeah, he was real grateful we caught those guys, and very eager to show his gratitude, if you know what I mean,” Emmett said with a sly grin…the meaning of which was not lost on Lucas.

“I didn’t know that Brian called him, though I’m not surprised. He’d do anything for family, and he considers Shane family. She really took a liking to Josh. She feels responsible for what happened. Poor boy, he still has to stand trial doesn’t he?” Emmett asked.

Lucas’ lips grew tight, “Yes, but I’ll be getting my license to practice law back soon and I intend to defend him. Josh won’t be spending any time in jail. Plus I’m going to make sure he receives a huge settlement from the civil suit I plan to bring against the school for not providing adequate security for its students. They are responsible for hiring Mike, that janitor I worked with, who was helping the boys get weapons in the school. He had a record and he was affiliated with the white Aryan nation, which the school would have known if they bothered to do a background check. And I also plan to sue the local police for their culpability in all this by covering shit up. I’m sure the Feds will want a shot at them too. I’m not stopping until I incinerate all the trash in that fucking town,” Lucas said with raw conviction.

“Oh my….grrrrrrr…..you’re hot when you’re fuming mad,” Emmett teased, pinching Lucas’s arm.

“And here I thought Brian was the only man alive who could turn a straight man gay. Keep flirting with Lucas like that and he might switch teams,” Justin said, coming up behind them.

Emmett stood up and approached Justin first, pulling him in for a big hug, “So good to have you back sweetie,” he said, kissing him on the cheek, “But his majesty won’t be happy. He said you weren’t up to it, are you alright?” Emmett asked.

 

“I’m fine Em, Brian is just being his normal controlling self,” Justin said.

Lucas pushed Emmett aside playfully and pulled Justin in for a hug.

“Um, have I missed something? Did Em already turn you?” Justin teased, as he returned the ‘enthusiastic’ hug.

Lucas gave him one more squeeze followed by a ‘manly’ pat on the back then pulled back.

“Not yet, though Cyn is working on it,” he said.

Justin lifted a brow at him, “Trouble in paradise?” he inquired.

“More like a walk through Dante’s Inferno,” Lucas said half joking.

Justin and Emmett exchanged looks.

“Sounds like love to me,” Brian said, startling all three men.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you scared the shit out of me! I hate it when you do that!” Emmett squawked out dramatically.

“Do what?” Brian asked keeping his gaze fixed on Justin.

“Move without making a sound! You really have to stop sneaking up on people like that! You’re gonna give someone a heart attack one day,” Emmett scolded.

“Your heart’s just fine, Honeycutt. God knows you give it enough exercise, besides, I’m a ‘sleuth’, remember? It’s my job to be inconspicuous. And what the fuck may I ask are you doing here?” he changed gears so swiftly if it weren’t for the fact he was glaring at Justin, no one would have been able to follow his line of thought.

“Well since there wasn’t any pink in my last paycheck I assumed I still had a job,” Justin said.

“I’ll have to remind Ted to color up your next paycheck. You’re still recovering; you should be back at the loft resting. Speaking of the loft, have you booked a room for your mother yet?” Brian asked. There was no mistaking the edge in his tone.

Justin cringed inwardly. Brian was pissed, though he wasn’t sure if his anger stemmed from him coming back to work too early, well too early according to Brian’s timetable, or if his anger was more directed at him for suggesting his mother stay with them at the loft during her visit….a situation that came about unexpectedly.

Justin had been staying with Brian for the past week. As fate would have it, there was a fire in his building while they were on assignment and though his apartment was spared the flames, it wasn’t spared the smoke and water damage. The place was uninhabitable at the moment. Justin was forced to move out while repairs were made. He had intended to go stay with Agnes but Brian insisted he stay with him, which turned out to be a good thing since Agnes had recently moved in with her fiancé, Stephen.

Not surprisingly, the arrangement suited them both. They really complimented each other, and not just in the bedroom…where of course, the sex was fucking amazing…but in general. Justin liked to compare their relationship to that of Oscar and Felix of the Odd Couple, though to a lesser extreme. Brian loved designer labels and expensive Italian furniture; Justin lived for comfortable clothing and fast food restaurants. It was a sometimes rocky, but definitely satisfying arrangement. All was going well. There'd been a comfortable peace…a much appreciated and needed peace after recent events…they were each enjoying UNTIL…the subject of Justin’s mother’s visit was broached.

Justin had invited his mother to come for a visit. Brian was amenable to the idea at first; that was until Justin suggested his mother stay with them at the loft, in the extra bedroom that Gus used when he visited. That had been a huge mistake. Brian coolly informed Justin that his mother would be more comfortable staying at the Hyatt downtown. He even offered to foot the bill. Justin was disappointed, but respected Brian’s wishes, after all, it was his place, not theirs…. and that little realization stung.

Though Justin knew Brian had strong feelings for him, he also knew Brian was still having issues with the whole ‘relationship’ concept. He had just put his reservations on the back burner for awhile; Jennifer’s impending visit however had reawakened Brian’s insecurities.

Justin didn’t doubt their commitment to each other; this was just a transitional issue. One he needed to deal with. The past week had been great. They’d been living in their own little post coital/crisis mode. But now they were back in ‘reality’, with no impending disasters looming over their heads creating strong passions to erupt between them. The daily grind of every day living had tempered that desperate need to cling to the other as if it would be their last time; which was exactly the situation at the time. But times changed, and the simple domestication of their current situation was putting Brian on edge. Justin decided it was best to give Brian some space.

 

“First of all, I’m fine, that’s why I came back to work. But if you don’t want me working here, I’ll make other arrangements. As to my mother, I booked us a room at a motel just outside of town. I’ll be out of your place by this afternoon,” Justin said, there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

Emmett and Lucas suddenly felt very uncomfortable in their presence sensing a private moment coming on and made excuses to be elsewhere while that conversation took place. Agnes, watching from her desk, astutely busied herself with paper work.

Brian’s face registered a shock that Justin wasn’t prepared for, “What do you mean us?” he asked.

“My apartment isn’t ready yet, and you really don’t expect me to put my mother up in some motel all alone, do you?” Justin asked.

“Of course not, don’t be absurd. I told you I’ll get her a suite at the Hyatt. Why the fuck would you book a room at some cheap out of the way motel?” Brian asked.

Justin sighed dejectedly, “Because it’s what I can afford. The insurance money hasn’t come in yet to pay for the fire damage. I’ve been paying for the renovations myself and they’ve been more than I expected. It will be fine, stop worrying. My apartment should be ready in a few days then I’ll be out of your way. Now do I still have a job or not?” he asked.

Brian felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. His blond was moving out…it was just unthinkable, he never expected it. To be honest, he didn’t know what to expect when he moved in and yeah, if he was honest with himself, he was still getting used to the idea of living with someone but he NEVER anticipated Justin moving out! Surely they could work out their differences. He didn’t think he was that awful to live with, at least his blond never gave him any indication that he was…where the fuck was this coming from, he wondered.

He grabbed Justin by his wrist and dragged him into his office. He slammed the door behind them and turned to him, “What the fuck is this? You bailing on me?” he asked.

Justin’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. ‘Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!’ How stupid could he be? How could he not have seen Brian taking his moving out as rejection, especially after his past experience with Conrad?

He walked towards him and placed his hand on his shoulder, “Stop that. You know better. I just think we need some space for now. You need time to adjust to us,” Justin said.

Brian narrowed his eyes, “Bullshit. This is about your mother; she’s behind this, isn’t she? Why else would you be asking whether or not you still have a job? It’s insulting to even think such a thing, and why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were having money problems?” he said. There was no mistaking the hurt in his voice.

Justin let his hand drop from Brian’s shoulder and took a step back, “I didn’t tell you because it’s not a problem! I’m fine, both physically and financially. I asked about my job because it’s obvious you don’t want me working any more cases. You don’t think I can handle it,” he said, pain and humiliation laced his voice.

Brian’s eyes widened in shock, “God you’re so fucking obtuse at times! It’s not that I don’t think you can handle it! It’s just the opposite, you handle it too well! You plunge into each case wholeheartedly, holding nothing back, which more often than not almost gets you killed!” he spat out angrily.

He had told Justin several times in the past week that he should consider another line of work, but not because he was incapable, but because Justin never did anything half assed. It was all or nothing with him and he didn’t know the meaning of the word retreat. He forged ahead where cooler heads would use caution.

Justin put his hands on his hips posing a battle stance, “So you think I’m reckless?” he challenged.

“You ARE reckless! Justin, you’re an all or nothing guy, and trust me, it’s one of your better qualities. You have an unrelenting passion when it comes to things and people important to you. It’s fucking hot as hell too by the way, but someone needs to tell you that this line of work is not best suited for you. You have to see that! Twice now, that I know of anyway, you nearly got killed because you put yourself out there too much,” Brian said, then softened his tone when he saw the hurt, mixed with total outrage in his blonds’ stormy eyes, “Sunshine, you’re an artist at heart. I can only imagine the master pieces you would create should you direct all that fiery passion towards your art. You’ve been gifted with extraordinary talent and you’re throwing it away. I don’t understand why the fuck you would want to continue on in a career that will do nothing but harden and change you and perhaps one day get you killed and not want to follow your true calling?” he asked.

Justin felt unshed tears sting his eyes, “And being a detective is your true calling? You’re way to smart and sophisticated for this line of work, and you know it! So why the fuck do you want continue to put your life in danger!?” he countered.

Brian threw his hands up.

“I don’t! Not anymore anyway. I’m done with this business. I’m stepping down and handing the agency over to Ted and Cynthia. They are more than capable of handling it. And they’re not like us. They’ll be satisfied with cheating spouses and missing person’s cases. They don’t have that same need for adventure we have. Let’s face it Sunshine, we’re loose cannons. Not a good trait to have in this line of work,” he said.

Justin let out a sigh, conceding Brian’s point, “Perhaps not,” he said, “We ‘both’ tend to be a bit reckless and adventurous at times, and not always in a positive life affirming way,” he said, his mood suddenly lifting.

He really couldn't dispute Brian's reasoning. Their line of work was dangerous, maybe he was right, maybe it was time they changed careers. He was certainly up for the challenge. But an artist? He loved drawing, and painting, but was he really good enough to make a career out of it? Of course Brian could be biased in his praise of his talent, but knowing Brian, and at this point, he knew the man pretty well, he wasn’t the type to give false praise. He threw his lover a sly look,

“You really think I’m that talented?” he asked.

Brian pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and gazed hungrily at his blond, “I do,” he replied with a certainty that brooked no argument.

“But that’s not where your talents end. No one, and trust me I have vast experience on this particular subject, gives a better blow job, or has a sweeter ass than you,” he said, advancing on his blond.

“Hmmm…then maybe I should pedal my ass for a living,” Justin jested.

“Maybe you should shut the fuck up and get your ass over that desk and let ‘me’ demonstrate some of my own talents,” Brian suggested reaching out to grab him.

Justin laughed as Brian caught him and pulled him up against him, “No, Bri stop. I have to pick up my mother from the airport,” he said.

Those words effectively put a damper on Brian’s ardor, “Already it starts. Mother Taylor, cock blocker,” he said.

Justin put his hands on Brian’s chest and pushed him away, “Stop that. Its Mrs. Tucker now, Jennifer, and I really wish you would try to be civil. You promised me you would,” Justin said.

Brian turned away from him and walked over behind his desk, “Yes, I know what I promised. And I WILL be civil to your mother…PROVIDING, she’s civil to me,” he said.

They’d been tip toeing around talking about Justin’s mother’s visit all week but now that the event was actually happening, each knew they had to set some ground rules while she was there.

“My mother is always civil, if nothing else. She can be ruthless, granted, but she’s too much of a wasp to be crass. You, on the other hand, can be cruel and callous to the point of being down right vicious when you want to. I’m asking you Brian, please, for me, try to get along with her,” Justin said.

Brian growled his displeasure. His blond was playing dirty. He could never refuse him anything when he used ‘that’ tone. “Ok, fine. I’ll try. But there are limits, Sunshine,” he said.

Justin stood in front of his desk and folded his arms across his chest as he lifted a brow at him, “Such as?” he asked.

“Such as I won’t have her interfering in our fucking. I understand you need to spend time with her, but your nights are mine. She can have you during the day, all day,” Brian said.

“No. that’s not going to work Brian! I can’t just leave my mother alone every night, all night! She’s here for two weeks. It’s not that long. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to fuck in-between, but I can’t forfeit my nights. I won’t do that to her, not after everything she’s done for me,” he said.

Brian eyed him thoughtfully. This wasn’t the first time Justin had alluded to ‘how much his mother did for him’. He had a feeling it went beyond what a son should expect from his mother…not that he would know what a son should expect from his mother since he never expected nor got anything from his own…but he wasn’t going to pry into their relationship. When and if Justin was ready to tell him, he would. Still, he was very curious to know. So curious that he made a rash decision, (which was just proof positive that his blond was rubbing off on him)… and offered a compromise, a selfish compromise for sure for he had an ulterior motive, but still a compromise.

“Fine,” he said, “She can stay with us, at the loft, in Gus’s room. On one condition.”

Justin's heart did a little flip. Brian didn't want him to move out. That little revelation made him ecstatic. Whatever condition he was setting, Justin knew he would agree. He hated having to move out because of his mother. It was very important to him that his mother and Brian get along. Having her stay with them would give them both the opportunity to get to know each other better. They were more alike than each would care to admit, the challenge would be to get them to see that. Sharing the same living space would be a big step towards that goal.

“Name it,” Justin said.

“You sleep with me, in my...our bed, every night. And if Mother Taylor,”

“Tucker,”

“Whatever....if she is offended by the sounds of her little boy screaming out all night in extreme pleasure from me ramming his sweet ass into the mattress then she can go stay at the Hyatt, like I originally offered,” Brian said.

“So basically you want to embarrass my mother into moving out and into a hotel?” Justin said, his eyes narrowing with his rising ire.

Brian raised his brow at him, “Don’t give me that look. That’s not my intention, but I won’t pretend to be something I’m not. Something ‘we’re’ not. We fuck, we fuck hard and a lot. Granted, I won’t be rimming you on the kitchen counter when she’s eating breakfast, but I won’t be quiet in our bedroom either because it might offend her heterosexual sensibilities,” Brian said.

Justin gaped at him, “Is that what you think? That my mother doesn’t approve of my lifestyle?” he said, then immediately wished he could take those words back. They weren’t his, they were his mother’s.

“What I mean…”

Brian slammed his hand on the desk, “Lifestyle? You did not just seriously call our relationship a lifestyle choice, did you?” he asked dangerously.

“No, of course not, I was just thinking how my mother would phrase it. I told you, she’s a wasp. She doesn’t use the word fag or homo, she doesn’t even refer to me as her ‘gay’ son. It’s simply not an issue to her. I’m her son. She loves me unconditionally, and God knows there have been conditions where I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, but that’s one thing I never doubted, her love for me. She left my father because he couldn’t accept me. Without hesitation, she flat out got up and left him. She’s been there for me through everything…Even when…well, fuck Brian you just don’t understand!” Justin said running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Then explain it to me,” Brian said, though it came out sounding like a command.

Justin started pacing in front of his desk, “After the incident, before I met you, you know how I was. I told you,” he said.

“Refresh my memory, how were you?” Brian persisted.

Justin hesitated, not knowing how to respond. He didn’t want to tell Brian how truly fucked up he was when he got out of the hospital. And he certainly didn’t want to tell him about the episode in his mother’s house where he lost his temper and physically hurt her. He was too ashamed of that day and he’d never forgive himself for it. She had taken him home, broken both emotionally and physically after the incident and tried to help him. And how did he repay her? By flying into a rage, throwing things in his room and when she tried to stop him, he pushed her so hard she almost fell back and hit her head. Thankfully his reflexes kicked in and he caught her before she fell but it didn’t deter from the fact that he hurt her, and could have hurt her bad. No, he couldn’t tell Brian that.

“Let’s just say I was out of control. I would fuck anything that moved, and then move on to the next. I wasn’t like that before the incident. My mother said that I was making bad ‘lifestyle’ choices. She told me my behavior was unacceptable, and self-destructive and I…we…well I didn’t respond well to her criticism. But it didn’t matter, she never stopped loving me,” Justin said.

Brian just stared at him, eyes blazing as Justin spoke.

“Why I don’t know if I should be touched, or insulted. Mommy still loved you even though you fucked a lot of different men…which by the way, is every gay man’s God given right. How altruistic of her to ‘still love you’ for following your nature. Forgive me if I’m not impressed. Though I guess I should be, after all, my mother thinks I’m going to Hell for fucking every man that moves, but with her it’s not so much a numbers issue, just a gender issue,” Brian said.

Justin cringed at the acidity in his voice, “Brian I didn’t mean to…”

“To what? Imply that it’s not ‘normal’ for a gay man to want to fuck a lot of different men? That it’s a bad ‘lifestyle’ choice?” The sarcasm dripped off of each word.

Justin hated when Brian used that tone. It was condescending and annoying as fuck. His own ire started to rise,

“I was making bad ‘lifestyle’ choices! Yes, it’s my nature to want to fuck men, lots of men, but it’s not my nature to shut people out of my life! To never connect with anyone! I was, fuck, still am damaged goods!” Justin said.

Brian got up from behind his desk and walked over to his blond and grabbed his arms,

“You are NOT damaged goods! And if you think that, then what the fuck must you think of me?” he asked, and there was no mistaking the hurt in his voice.

Justin pulled back and looked up at him earnestly, “I think that you are by far the sexiest man alive. You’re a fucking trick magnet. You’re too beautiful to resist…but I also think…no I know, that you also used men, like I did, to avoid commitment,” he said, softening his tone.

Brian let go of his arms and turned away from him. Justin reached out and put both his hands on Brian’s shoulders in a soothing manner.

“You have to admit that Conrad did a number on you, that’s why you never gave anyone a chance to get close to you. It’s the reason why you never fucked anyone more than once, well before me that is,” he said. Brian’s shoulders stiffened beneath his hands. Justin sighed.

“I’m not judging you Brian. I’m asking you to relate to how I feel…felt, since you’ve had a similar experience. Hobbs robbed me of my ability to trust men. And that’s why I used and discarded them, never letting anyone get that close to me to ever hurt me again. I never thought I’d be able to let anyone in after that incident. It was a complete shock, AND in a positive life affirming way, to realize that there was someone out there I could trust again. That someone was you Brian. I felt an instant connection to you the very first time we met,” Justin said then let out a small laugh, “I remember the exact moment I laid eyes on you at the coffee shop…I thought I was dreaming, you were impossibly beautiful, perfect…yet for all your physical beauty I sensed a flaw in you. Not an obvious one, but one nonetheless, lying there right beneath the surface of all that beauty. Then it hit me. You were emotionally damaged…like me. That was the flaw I sensed. It’s what drew me to you, you know. As wrong as that might have been, I mean two damaged people hooking up? Yeah, I knew I was playing with fire, but honest to God Brian then, and now, I’d fucking walk through fire for you. We’re kindred souls, both with pasts that have shaped who we are today. What do I think of you? I think you’re perfect…for me,” Justin said.

Brian kept his back to Justin and huffed out a bitter, cynical laugh.

“Why Sunshine, you getting all maudlin on me?” he said.

Justin dropped his hands from his shoulders and stepped back,

“Fuck you Brian. I don’t know why I bother saying anything nice to you,” he said.

Brian turned to face him, “Because I’m a great fuck. Oh and perfect, but in a ‘damaged’ kind of way. Did I get that right?” he asked mockingly.

Justin starred into stormy hazel eyes cautiously. He couldn't gauge Brian's mood.

“Why are you being like this? We both know what damage our ex's did to us. I don't understand why you're so upset,” Justin said.

Brian snaked his hand out, grabbing him by the arm, pulling him up against him. Justin gasped at the sudden movement.

“Stop saying we’re damaged, we’re not damaged!” he said.

“Fine, then what would you call us? Normal?” Justin countered angrily.

Brian looked down into blazing dark blue eyes,

“We’re queer. We fuck who we want, when we want. No apologies no regrets. If we fuck a lot of guys it’s because we’re men who like to fuck. Period. No one, not Conrad or Hobbs can change that. Don't you DARE give them that kind of power. Everyone gets fucked, Sunshine, at one point in their lives, and not in a positive life affirming way. We learn our lesson and move on, but we DON'T SAY WE'VE BEEN DAMAGED BECAUSE OF IT!” he practically screamed in Justin's face.

Justin sucked his breath in at Brian’s words. He knew Brian was just being defensive, and he couldn’t blame him. Being damaged was equivalent in Brian’s eyes to being weak. And Brian Kinney definitely did NOT do weak. Justin cursed his own stupidity for using that terminology, but the truth was, both of them were affected by their ex’s. Their past experiences shaped their future interactions with men. Brian, however, wasn’t ready to acknowledge that fact. In his mind, if he did, it would somehow give power to the man who hurt him. And if there is one thing Justin learned about his lover, it was that he would never give anyone credit, or blame, for his life. He was Brian fucking Kinney, no apologies, no regrets and certainly no excuses.

Justin wished he could take his words back, but it was too late. Brian was now going to do something to prove Justin wrong. He needed to make a point, one Justin was sure he wasn’t going to like. And to make matters worse, he was going to make that point while his mother was visiting.

“Thanks for clearing that up for me. I guess now I'll have to stop by the drug store on the way home and buy some condoms,” Justin said jerking away from him.

Brian stared at him as if he’d just grown two heads.

“You want to stop fucking raw?” he asked. He didn't know how the conversation went from not being viewed as a 'victim' to not wanting to fuck raw anymore, but then again, he could never follow his blonds’ logic when he was in a tiff. And he was definitely in a tiff right now.

“No, I don't. But you obviously do,” Justin said.

Brian raised his brow, “How the fuck did you determine that from what I just said,” he asked.

“We're queer, right? It's our right to fuck a lot of different guys, no apologies, no regrets...I heard you loud and clear. So if you're intending to resume your 'God given' right to fuck everything that moves now that we're home and away from the dangers of the job, then I'll need to pick up some condoms,” Justin said.

Brian cursed under his breath, “Does stupidity run in your family? You missed my point entirely. I didn’t say I wanted to fuck other guys, I was just stating that if I did, that wouldn’t make me damaged. God I hate that word,” Brian muttered the last part under his breath.

“But it's our nature to fuck a lot of guys, isn't it? So why shouldn’t I expect you to follow your nature?” Justin pressed.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and gnawed on it as he contemplated his blonds’ words.

“Yes, it is our nature,” he admitted.

Justin's face dropped and Brian's heart clenched in his chest,

“Justin, I don't have to tell you how fucking amazing it is to fuck raw. It’s a gift that I don’t take lightly. But there may come a day when one of us, or both, will want to fuck someone else. Like when we were upstate and had that chain bang. You fucking loved it, so did I. We might want to do that again. And if that time comes, we'll have to put the condoms back on. But for now, it's honestly the furthest thing from my mind. Giving up fucking you raw for some cheap thrill of a new piece of ass is a price I'm not willing to pay,” Brian said.

Justin smiled softly at Brian’s confession. It was to date, the most romantic thing Brian has ever said to him. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Have I told you lately how much I don’t not love you?” he teased.

Brian rolled his eyes, “Sunshine, you know you can just tell me you love me. I’m not that fragile emotionally, I think I can handle it,” he said tongue in cheek

Justin laughed and rubbed his nose in the crook of Brian’s neck, “Nah, that would take all the fun out of watching you squirm. You’re waiting for me to say it,” he said.

“Ah, so your Machiavellian ways are at work here I see. I should warn you, I can out wait you,” he said.

Justin pulled back and looked into his eyes, “I’m sure you can, but I’m not waiting for anything. I know you love me, I don’t need the words,” he said.

Brian raised a brow at him, “And you think I do?” he asked sincerely.

“I know you do, and you will hear them. When it’s not an issue anymore,” Justin said.

Brian was about to ask him what the fuck he meant by that when a loud crashing noise, followed by a high-pitched scream sounded from outside the office.

“What the fuck!”

Both men ran out of the office to see what caused the commotion.

“Oh my God, Agnes!” Justin shouted seeing his cousin on the floor with pieces of broken glass, water and roses strewn around her. He ran to her side and cradled her in his arms.

“What the fuck happened?” Brian asked kneeling next to Justin. The whole staff was now in the reception area having heard the commotion.

“I was just on my way to fill the vase of roses Stephen sent me with water when I slipped and fell…I think I twisted my ankle, it really hurts!” Agnes said looking up at her cousin with pain filled eyes.

Justin gently felt her angle, Agnes flinched. “I think it might be broken, we need to get you to the hospital now,” he said.

“I’ll call 911,” Cynthia said.

“Oh no please don’t! I don’t want to go in an ambulance. Justin please don’t make me go in an ambulance,” Agnes said.

Justin looked at his cousin suspiciously. He had a feeling her reluctance to ride in an ambulance was for his benefit. She knew how adverse he was to riding in one since his incident, and she also knew he wouldn’t let her go to the hospital alone.

“Agnes, it’s ok,” he started to say but she was vigorously shaking her head.

“Please, Justin, just take me in your car. I can get up, I promise,” she said then started to rise. Justin and Brian helped her to her feet; she made sure not to put any pressure on her injured ankle as she held on to the two men.

“Aggy, for fuck sakes, let us call an ambulance!” Brian said frustrated with her stubbornness. He wondered if it was a family trait.

“No, it’s ok, honestly Boss. Just help me to the car. I’ll be fine. There’ll be attendants at the emergency room to help me, I just need a ride,” she insisted.

Justin saw how upset she was getting and decided he wouldn’t press the issue. The important thing was that they get her to the hospital now. The means of transportation was irrelevant. “Ok, no ambulance. I’ll take you. Brian help me get her in my car,” Justin said.

“I’ll call Stephen for you,” Cynthia offered.

“NO! I mean, let me call him. He’s interviewing now for a promotion at his job. We want to buy a house,” she said blushing.

“Oh sweetie, that’s wonderful! You have to let me help you decorate! You know I’m a natural at it!” Emmett offered enthusiastically.

“Not exactly a good time to be picking out fabric swatches, Honeycutt,” Brian spat out sarcastically.

“Oh, sorry sweetie, here let me help you get her to the car,” Emmett said.

“Thanks Emmett, but Brian and I can handle it,” Justin said.

Between them both they managed to half carry Agnes to the car. The whole staff followed them out to the parking garage. Once they got her safely inside the car, Justin went over to the driver’s side. Brian stopped him.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asked.

Justin looked at him puzzled.

“Your mother. You need to go pick her up at the airport,” Brian said.

“Fuck!” Justin’s face registered his anger and annoyance.

“It’s ok, you go get your mother, I’ll take Aggy to the emergency room,” Brian said, removing Justin’s hand from the car doors’ handle.

“No, I can’t Brian. I have to be there for Agnes. I’m her health proxy. They’re probably going to pump her with drugs as soon as we get there for the pain. If she should need surgery, I’ll have to sign off on it if she’s not coherent enough to make that decision. I can’t leave her,” he said, then cursed again.

“Brian, you have to pick up my mother from the airport for me,” he blurted out.

Brian’s eyes widened in what suspiciously looked like fear.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” he asked.

Justin closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath,

“Just do this for me, ok? You promised to try to get along with her. This will be a nice gesture. Can you please just help me out here!” Justin said in a tone that underscored his frustration.

“Justin, please hurry! My ankles blowing up and it’s killing me!” Agnes yelled from the car.

Justin cast a quick glance inside the car at his cousin’s ankle. It was now twice the size it was a moment ago. He turned back to Brian and gave him a quick kiss,

“Thanks for doing this. I’ll call you from the hospital,” he said, sliding into drivers’ seat, “Oh, she’s arriving on flight 1099 from LAX,” he called out, then sped away.

Brian stood there watching the car drive away with a deer in the headlights look on his face.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Emmett said gently laying his hand on Brian’s shoulder from behind.

Brian blinked twice and turned to look at Emmett, “I’m sure she will be, the question is, will I?”

 

Part 3

 

Jennifer limped awkwardly off of the plane pulling her Louis Vuitton carry on luggage behind her with one hand, and holding her two hundred dollar Manolo Blahnik shoe with the broken heel in her other. She was hot, tired and aggravated. The cool Pittsburgh air hit her as she exited the plane, blissfully cooling her over heated skin and lifting her mood greatly. She couldn’t wait to see her son. She hadn’t seen him in almost a year now. Not since last Christmas actually. She was excited, yet a little apprehensive of the reception she would get. Their last conversation had been a little strained. Her son was very much aware of her misgivings towards his new boyfriend. It had put him on the defensive. Perhaps Jeffery was right she thought, maybe it was best she reserve her opinion…for now. She decided on the flight over to start fresh. She would give this ‘Brian’ character a chance to prove he was unsuitable before pointing it out to her son.

She exited down the planes boarding bridge into the waiting area breathing a sigh of relief as her eyes scanned the area for her son. The terminal was packed with arriving passengers and their respective friends/loved ones who were eagerly waiting for them; however, her own loved one was nowhere in sight. She worriedly gnawed her bottom lip. “Damn,” she muttered uncharacteristically under her breath. ‘Where can he be? Something must be wrong,’ she thought. She was about to pull out her cell phone and call him when her eyes fell on a tall man holding a sign with her name on in standing all the way on the other side of the waiting area. Another tall, extremely handsome man stood beside him. Panic seized her and she quickly hobbled towards the man holding the sign.

“I swear to God, Brian, if I get any shit for doing this…”

“Shut the fuck up Honeycutt. Did I complain the dozen or so times I had to save your sorry ass from some jilted boyfriend?” Brian said.

“I never jilted a boyfriend!” Emmett protested staunchly. The sign in his hand slipped a little bit.

Brian rolled his eyes, “No, you just fuck around on them. Or, as in ‘Drewsie’s’ case, you lie to them about who you are. If I didn’t show up that night you decided to confess your true identity to him, you two wouldn’t be the sickenly loving couple you are today,” Brian said.

Emmett harrumphed, “Ok, I’ll grant you that. You did save my ass that night by convincing my Drewsie that I was only doing my job. But Brian, this is different! Drewsie didn’t hate you. Justin’s mother already has a healthy amount of disdain for you. She’s NOT going to be happy to see you instead of her darling little boy waiting to pick her up,” Emmett whined. He wasn’t happy being a pawn in the Brian/Justin/pseudo mother-in-law drama. Brian had dragged him along on this little errand under protest.

“No, she won’t, that’s why you’re here. To deflect her anger,” Brian said, matter of fact.

Emmett glared at him, “And that’s fair to me how?” he asked.

“It’s not, but it saves me some grief. Sooner or later I’m going to have to deal with the dragon lady on my own. But for today, you’re going to run interference. That’s a football term, isn’t it? I would think you were aware of all football terms since you’re fucking a quarterback,” Brian said.

Emmett was about to respond when Brian elbowed him into silence, “That’s her,” he said nodding his head towards the woman limping towards them.

Emmett’s gaze followed his, “Oh fuck, she looks mad,” he said.

“Uh huh…” Brian said then plastered a big smile on his face. Mrs. Tucker ignored him and walked up to Emmett.

“Where is my son?” she demanded waving her broken shoe at him.

Emmett gulped several times, “Um, Mrs. Tucker?” he sputtered.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at him, “Are you Mr. Kinney?” she asked in a less than friendly voice.

Emmett laughed nervously, “Me? Why….”

“No, I am. Emmett is a friend of mine and Justin’s,” Brian said, extending his hand. Jennifer turned to him. She gave him a quick, unflattering perusal then placed her shoe with the broken heel under her left arm and took his offered hand with her now free one.

“I’m so sorry for this inconvenience but Justin had a slight emergency,” Brian said, giving her hand a quick shake.

Jennifer pulled her hand away and put it to her throat. Her face went deathly white,

“What kind of emergency?” she asked in a strained voice.

Brian, realizing his faux pas, rushed to correct it,

“He’s fine Mrs. Tucker, but his cousin, Agnes, took a fall just as he was coming to get you. She hurt her ankle and Justin thought it might be broken. He insisted on taking her to the hospital and asked me to pick you up,” Brian explained.

Jennifer let out a sigh of relief and removed her hand from her throat,

“Oh my, thank God,” she said.

Brian raised a brow at her,

“Thank God that your niece might have a broken ankle?” he asked, with censure in his voice.

Jennifer had the good grace to blush in embarrassment, “No, no of course not! It’s just that my son has recently had an injury and….” she stopped mid sentenced, and blushed a deeper shade of red. She had no idea how much, if anything, her son told this man about his ‘incident’. She straightened her shoulders and addressed her son’s boyfriend. She was not about to let his condescension throw her. She’d have time later to deal with his arrogance. Right now she just wanted to get to her son and niece.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like you to take me to my son now please,” she said. Her voice sent shards of ice through both men.

“Of course, I have a car waiting outside,” Brian said extending his hand once again to her, this time for assistance.

Jennifer looked disdainfully upon the offer. “That won’t be necessary,” she said.

Brian couldn’t help the smirk from splitting across his face, “Apparently it is. May I ask what happened to your Manolo?” he asked glancing down at the broken shoe under her arm.

Jennifer rolled her eyes in exasperation, “A fashionista,” she said, “I should have known.”

The smirk on Brian’s face melted away, “Excuse me?” he asked, his tone challenging.

“Not many men would know the designer of a woman’s shoe on sight. Contrary to most stereotypical beliefs, not all gay men enjoy high fashion. Justin despises it; he wouldn’t know Manolo from Keds. Another reason, besides your obvious conceit, why you two are not suited,” she said.

Emmett gasped. He couldn’t believe the nerve of this woman! She wasn’t pulling any punches. From what Brian had told him about Justin’s mother, she was supposed to be this ‘waspish’ type of woman, much like Lindsey. Always polite, though coldly so at times. But this woman was just plain cold! And brutally direct! Not to mention rude and insulting! His heart went out to Justin. There was no way his mother and Brian were going to get along. The war of the roses was going to look like a minor spat compared to the battle these two were poised to engage in.

Brian stiffened besides him and Emmett could almost feel the anger emanate from his pores. Fearing his own safety, he stepped back and out of the way.

“Perhaps not,” Brian said, his voice eerily devoid of emotion, “But though Justin may not know the difference between Manolo and Keds, he absolutely knows the difference between a cock ring and a butt plug. And on that score Mrs. Taylor,”

“Tucker,” she hastened to correct.

“Whatever…on that score, I can assure you we are extremely suited,” he said.

Jennifer didn’t even flinch at his vulgarity, an act that impressed the fuck out of Brian.

“Now if you wish to get to your son, the car is waiting outside,” Brian said, not giving her a chance to respond, then turned to Emmett,

“Em, help Mrs. ‘Tucker’ retrieve the rest of her luggage. I’ll be waiting in the car,” he said, then turned to leave without so much as looking at the woman.

Emmett smiled apologetically at Justin’s mother once Brian was gone.

“Well, that was interesting,” he said, for lack of a better icebreaker.

Jennifer sighed deeply then smiled back at him,

“I do apologize for my behavior. It’s been a long, difficult flight,” she said pulling her broken shoe out from under her arm, “I so loved these shoes. Clumsy flight attendant rammed his cart into my foot as he pushed it down the aisle. I suppose it was my fault. The man sitting next to me was so huge I was practically spilling out of my seat and into the aisle. I should be grateful the cart only broke my heel, and not my ankle. Poor Agnes! I hope she’s ok,” Jennifer said.

Emmett was starting to warm up to this woman. She had a totally different air about her the moment Brian left. She was actually very likeable. Her smile was sincere, as was her concern for her niece.

“I’m sure she’ll be fine Mrs. Tucker. Justin is very protective of her; he’ll make sure she gets the best treatment,” he said.

Jennifer smiled brightly at the mention of her son.

“Yes, you’re right. My Justin is like that. He always puts the welfare of others first. I’m sure he’ll take good care of our Agnes,” she said.

Emmett nodded in agreement. He then reached out for the shoe, “May I?” he asked.

Jennifer handed it over to him. “Of course,” she said.

Emmett took the broken shoe from her. He turned it over in his hand examining it closely.

“Well, the good news is, I am one of those stereotypical fashion conscious gay men, and I just happen to know a drag queen who is a wizard at repairing damaged designer clothing and shoes! We’ll have this heel fixed in no time and looking better than new! She can even get you discounted Louboutins if you like. I own a pair myself,” Emmett said, throwing her a friendly wink.

Jennifer laughed and the sound of it was infectious and genuine. Emmett instantly fell in love with the woman. He couldn’t imagine that once Brian got to know her, he wouldn’t also. She was so much like her son. Bright, bold, protective as hell when it came to her loved ones, a family trait for sure. Justin was also very protective of those he loved, including Brian. Emmett knew that if Jennifer ever accepted Brian, she’d afford him that same level of affection.

The only problem was, would she? More importantly, would Brian ever accept her? He’d known Brian most his life, and the man very rarely opened up to anyone new. He too was very protective of his small circle of friends and family. It was a shock, a much pleasant shock for sure, but one nonetheless, when Brian brought Justin into his circle of loved ones. But Justin came with his own family. It was a dynamic he was sure Brian didn’t anticipate. There was Justin’s mother, her husband, another sibling he heard of. And God knows who else. Was Brian ready to expand the scope of his small circle of friends and family? Emmett wasn’t sure. And if he couldn’t, what would that mean for him and Justin.

Emmett shook his head, pushing his morose musings away as he escorted Jennifer to the baggage terminal to retrieve her luggage. One step at a time, he thought…. The first step was getting these two to the hospital in the same car, without either drawing blood from the other. A daunting task indeed, but one now Emmett took upon himself to undertake. Justin needed help dealing with these two. If there was any hope of them ever getting along, it was going to take some intervention from the family. Emmett made a mental note to call Deb as soon as he had a free private moment. He dared not leave Brian and Jennifer alone for a moment! And that was the key, for now…making sure they weren’t alone for any length of time. He was confident he could leave them both at the hospital with Justin. Neither would dare show their animosity for the other in front of him. They both loved him too much to hurt him that way. Until then, he’d have to run interference, as Brian told him he had to earlier. And boy was he right! For some reason Jennifer had it in her head that Brian was all wrong for her son. Of course, she didn’t really know Brian, and that was a situation that needed remedied. A situation he and the rest of the family would have to correct.

Brian fucking Kinney was finally in love, and nothing, not even Brian himself, was going to ruin that if he and the family had anything to say about it. Because the truth was, if Brian “I don’t believe in love” Kinney could fall in love, then there was hope for them all.


	15. Chapter 15

“Justin!”

 

“Hey Kiki,” Justin greeted his favorite drag queen. Kiki dropped the plate she was carrying at a near by table and rushed over to him.

 

“Hey, I didn’t order this!”

 

“Suck it up,” Kiki yelled back over her shoulder as she pulled Justin in for a hug.

 

“How ya been sweetie? You feeling ok?” she asked

 

Justin hugged her back, “I’m fine Kiki, as you can see,” he said stepping back and spreading his arms wide.

 

Kiki laughed, “You conceited devil, you just want to tease an old drag queen showing me that fine body of yours,” she said.

 

Justin laughed, “That’s why I come here, where else can I get my ego stroked like this?” he said.

 

“Oh boy, Kinney must be slipping if all you’re worried about is getting your ‘ego’ stroked,” Debbie said coming up behind him.

 

Justin turned around and pulled Debbie in for a tight hug, “Actually, I’m here to talk to you about him,” he whispered in her ear.

 

Debbie hugged him back, surprised by his greeting, “Well let’s get you fed first Sunshine. I can feel your bones sticking out of your jacket. Kiki, get him a burger with fries. Oh, and make him a nice thick chocolate milkshake while you’re at it….san’s the cum this time, ya’ hear?” Debbie pointed her finger at the drag queen and clucked her tongue.

 

Kiki blushed, “Geeshh…give a girl a break, will ya! I didn’t know him then, and he deserved it! Besides, I’ve apologized like a gazillion times!” Kiki whined.

 

“And I’ve forgiven you,” Justin said leaning over to her, “it’s hard to hold a grudge against a queen with a ten inch cock,” he said in a low voice followed with a knowing wink.

 

Kiki blushed bright red, “I swear that Kinney’s a worse gossip than all the fags in town!” she said then turned to go place his order.

 

Debbie put her hand on Justin’s shoulder, “Come on kiddo, let’s take a seat in the back.”

 

Justin nodded his head and followed her to a back booth. He was anxious about talking to her about Brian. Part of him felt it was an invasion of privacy of sorts, but another part of him was desperate. He needed help, and Debbie was his only hope.

 

She had been amazing to him while he was laid up at the loft. She would come by every day with enough food to feed an army, which there always seemed to be at the loft while he was recuperating. She truly was a caring woman, but Justin knew her concern was first and foremost for Brian. The longer he was with Brian, the more he was learning about the dynamics of his family. He knew Brian had a mother, and sister, but he barely spoke of them. Debbie, for all intended purposes, was his mother. Brian never opened up to him about his own parents. All he knew was that his relationship with them was not good from the start. He wondered if that was part in parcel the reason why he was having such a hard time making friends with his mother.

 

The situation at the loft since his mothers’ arrival was growing increasingly worse by the day. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. They barely tolerated each other. Oh, they were polite to each other, but the underlying hostility between them was tangible and Justin was at a lost as how to handle it. For some reason unbeknownst to him, his mother and his lover were determined NOT to get along.

 

Thank God for Emmett and Agnes. One or the other was always at the loft monopolizing his mothers’ and Brian’s time keeping them apart when Justin wasn’t around to run interference. As it turned out, Agnes didn’t break her ankle, she sprained it; still, she needed to be on crutches for two weeks. Brian insisted she take it easy, which meant she had a lot of free time…time to visit with her Aunt Jen. And when she wasn’t around, Emmett would miraculously show up. It was almost as if they had it planned. Emmett, more so than Agnes, was proving to be a Godsend when it came to his mother. Justin wished Brian got along with his mother half as well as Emmett did! They truly liked each other’s company. They spent a lot of time shopping, doing lunch, and hitting all the attractions good old Pitts had to offer. Justin didn’t realize there were so many, nor was he more grateful. Emmett kept his mother so busy that she barely had time to acknowledge her sons’ boyfriends’ existence, much less the fact that she disliked him so much.

 

Today Emmett once again proved invaluable by showing up this morning to take his mother to the Warhol Museum. Apparently Pittsburgh was rich with cultural arts, though he shouldn’t have been surprised; the city hosted one of the best art schools in the state, perhaps the country. He had promised Brian he would check out the school soon, but first he had to deal with the nearly intolerable situation at the loft.

 

Brian was spending more and more time at the office and less time at home. Last night, he never even came back to the loft; he got drunk and crashed at Michael’s. Ben had called him around 3 a.m. to let him know he was there.

 

It was the last straw. Things had to change, and it was up to him to change them. His first line of attack was his mother. Big mistake. He’d forgotten how deep that Taylor stubborn streak ran. She wasn’t going to budge on her stance on his new boyfriend. She didn’t like him. Period. Not that she would ever admit that openly, instead she took the position that he wasn’t ‘right’ for him. The harder he tried to get her to change her opinion, the more she stuck to her beliefs. He knew from experience he wasn’t going to make any progress with her. He contemplating calling Jeffery, but quickly dismissed that idea. The irony of him asking his ‘step dad’…(God he hated that title, considering the man was only ten years older than him!)… for advice on how to get his mother to like his boyfriend was too much to bear considering how he nearly managed to wreak their relationship.

 

His only other option was to find a way to get Brian to be more accepting of his mother and in order to achieve that goal, bearing in mind that Brian was almost as stubborn as his mother, was to enlist the aide of someone who knew Brian better than anyone. And since talking to Michael was out of the question…since their relationship, though civil, wasn’t exactly ‘close’…that left him with only one other option - Debbie. And so here he was, placing all his hopes for some kind of solution in the hands of one very brash, but loving, red headed woman.

 

 

“Sweetheart, are you alright? I mean, are you sick? You look like hell. Brian assured me you were fully healed from the gunshot wound, but I don’t know…something is off, what’s up?” Debbie said getting right to the point as she pulled Justin down in the booth with her.

 

“No, Deb, I’m fine, really. Long night, that’s all. Brian never came back to the loft last night,” Justin said.

 

Debbie just looked at him and snapped her gum, “Uh huh…and?” she asked as if that was a normal occurrence, no cause for concern.

 

Justin fidgeted in his seat a bit, “And…oh fuck Deb, Brian didn’t come home last night because he can’t stand the sight of my mother! He’s avoiding her like the plague!” he blurted out.

 

Debbie made a face, “Honey, that’s just plain bullshit. I met your mother. She’s a lovely woman! Why would Brian dislike her?” she asked.

 

Justin shrugged his shoulders, “Fuck if I know. And what’s worse, is my mother can barely stand him either,” he sighed and slumped back in his seat.

 

Debbie leaned forward and held his gaze, “Tell me what’s going on,” she said.

 

Justin told her everything that occurred since his mothers’ arrival. He told her how cold they were to each other, how they avoided spending any amount of time in each others company, how he could feel the hostility between them and how it was affecting his relationship with both of them. He rambled on for about 5 minutes before he ran out of steam.

 

Debbie listened patiently. When he was done she took his hand in her own and looked into his eyes, “No wonder you look like shit. You’re stressed out. Are you having sex baby? A good, hard fuck will relieve a lot of that stress you know,” she suggested bluntly.

 

Justin smiled at her candor. He shouldn’t have been surprised; Debbie was the most openly frank person he knew. “Brian and I haven’t had sex since my mother arrived”, he admitted.

 

Debbie raised her brow, “And you haven’t had sex with anyone else?” she asked cautiously.

 

Justin blushed and looked away. He wasn’t about to divulge to her that he and Brian had been fucking raw and had an agreement that they would be exclusive as long as that situation continued. He wondered though if Brian was still holding true to that agreement considering that he hadn’t fucked him in three nights.

 

“Um, no. I haven’t been out much since the shooting and now with my mother staying at the loft with us, there hasn’t been much privacy,” he stammered out.

 

“Uh huh…Now that don’t sound like Kinney. The Pope himself could be in the room and he’d still fuck your brains out,” Debbie stated.

 

Justin laughed. He couldn’t refute that fact. “I know! Which is what makes the situation even more frustrating considering how adamant he was that her staying at the loft wasn’t going to interfere in our fucking. I swear he was going to take some sic pleasure in knowing my mother was in the next room hearing her only son having raunchy gay sex all night long,” he said.

 

Debbie laughed, “Yeah he would,” she confirmed.

 

“You would think. But since she arrived, he’s barely home, and when does come home, he’s usually so tired he just passes out. Last night he didn’t even come home. He got drunk and crashed at Michaels. He’s not only avoiding my mother, he’s avoiding me, and I’m not being some fucking drama queen Deb. I’m telling you, he’s avoiding me,” Justin said.

 

Debbie made a face. She couldn’t argue with him. From what Justin was telling her, it appeared that Brian was indeed avoiding him. And she’d known Brian long enough to know that if that was the case, something must have happened to cause him to pull away from his Sunshine. She’d never seen Brian as happy as he was when Justin was near. It was uncanny how he could sense the blonds’ presence. His whole demeanor would change and he’d light up like a fucking Christmas tree. Something was very wrong here, and Debbie wasn’t about to let anything, or anyone, fuck up her boy’s happiness!

 

“Honey, did Brian and your mother have words?” she asked.

 

Justin shook his head. “Not that I know of, but it’s possible. I’ve point blank asked both of them if that was the case, and both of them deny it,” he said.

 

Debbie chewed her gum quietly for a moment.

 

“Is he mad at you for something? Did you two fight over your mother?” she asked.

 

“No, I don’t think he’s mad at me. We didn’t actually fight over her…I mean I know he doesn’t like her. She was rude to him on the phone. And she’s made it clear that she doesn’t think he’s ‘right’ for me, but that’s just a mother never thinking anyone is good enough for her son. It certainly couldn’t be the reason why he’s avoiding her…and me! He promised me he would try to get along with her, but I don’t see that happening. I really thought that at the worse, they’d be exchanging insults with each other. Both of them are experts at the fine art of sarcasm. But neither is making the effort to even do that! Their dislike for each other is deep, and it I can’t believe it stems from one fucking phone conversation! There has to be more to it,” Justin paused as a thought suddenly struck him. He leaned over the table and lowered his voice.

 

“Deb…I’m a detective, and I’m telling you something must have happened to cause Brian to close himself off like this. Something more than a phone conversation. I know Brian…like you said he could hate my mother and still want to fuck me. In fact he’d want to fuck me more just to spite her. But that’s not the case. I’m positive that some how, my mother has triggered some emotion, maybe some memory in Brian that has caused him to pull away from me,” Justin hesitated before asking the question he felt he had no right to ask, “Is it…Deb, is it possible my mother reminds Brian of his own mother?” he asked.

 

“Fuck no!” Debbie was quick to reply, “That woman is the spawn of the devil! Not a loving bone in her whole body. Your mother is the sweetest thing I’ve ever met. It’s obvious she loves you to death. There is no way your mother reminds him of that witch!” Deb snarled out her contempt. She folded her arms across her chest as if to ward off a chill and sat back in the booth.

 

“That woman has a lot to atone for,” she muttered under her breath. “Till this day I can’t understand what kind of mother sits back and lets her sadistic drunken husband beat their son for no God damn reason!?” Deb said in a voice that was mixed with outrage and contempt.

 

Justin sat up straight in the booth. His heart pounded loudly in his chest. ‘Brian’s father beat him…and his mother did nothing to save him…’ the knowledge made him sick to his stomach.

 

“Tell me about his parents,” he asked, though it was more like a demand. He needed to know…

 

Debbie was all too happy to share her hatred of Brian’s poor excuse for parents with Justin. He had a right to know, he had to know, if he were ever going to make a relationship with Brian work. There were things just too painful in Brian’s past for him to confront, and Debbie knew that eventually, that would come between him and Justin. She wanted Brian to be happy, and if that was going to happen, Justin had to know what Brian endured in order to understand why love was something he had rejected for so long. It was Debbie’s hope, that Justin would break through Brian’s walls and let himself love, and be loved. But in order to do that, Justin had to know what he was dealing with.

 

“His father was a real hard core prick when it came to drinking, fucking around and abusing his wife and kids. Not that that excuses his poor excuse for a mother. Instead of taking her kids and leaving the bastard, she became a drunk herself making it easy for her to ignore the abuse that was going on in her own home. Jack was a brutal man,” Debbie said shaking her head sadly, “I can only imagine how worse it would have been for Brian if he was……different,” she said.

 

Justin looked at her curiously, “What do you mean?”

 

Debbie sighed. “Brian wasn’t like my Michael. Hell I knew Michael was gay before he did! He was a gentle boy. Loved comic books, and musicals. Kids always picked on him because of his ‘soft’ ways. Brian, on the other hand, was a total jock. He loved sports of all kinds. He was a natural athlete. Did you know he was captain of his Soccer team?” Deb asked with no little amount of pride in her voice.

 

Justin smiled at her, “No I didn’t,” he answered. He knew Brian played some ball in high school, but he never bragged about his accomplishments.

 

Debbie’s chest puffed out, “Yip, he sure was. The best God damned captain that school had ever seen! Took his team all the way to the Nationals! Would have won state cup too if it weren’t for his ‘accident’,” Debbie’s face twisted in anguish.

 

Justin was almost afraid to ask, “What accident?”

 

“According to Brian, he got drunk and fell down some stairs. But I knew better. He had a black eye and bruises on his forearms to go along with his broken ribs. Not exactly the kind of injuries one gets from falling down a flight of stairs. Looked more to me like he was beat up, and then thrown down some stairs. Not that we’d ever know. He’d never admit it. Didn’t matter, all that matter to him was that he wasn’t able to play. The team lost, not having their star athlete to lead them to victory. I tell you, I never seen that boy more disappointed. Thank God for his coach. That man was the only one who could pull Brian out of his funk. Brian had a good relationship with his coach. Can’t remember the man’s name, but I know he was a real good influence on Brian. I was just grateful Brian had a good male role model to look up to. Lord knows Jack was no role model. He was a pathetic excuse for a human being,” she said.

 

Justin refrained from telling Debbie that Brian’s coach had more of an influence on him than she knew. And not all good. God how did Brian even make it out of high school with a drunken father who beat the shit out of him and a teacher who took advantage of him sexually?! Both men disappointed Brian. His father, who was supposed to love him, but instead used him as a punching bag and his coach who was also suppose to love him, but instead abandoned him for another man.

 

Justin didn’t know if Brian ever forgave his father, Brian never talked about his parents. But he had forgiven Conrad, and moved on. Justin on the other hand was just starting to build up a fresh new healthy dose of resentment for the man. They were lovers. Didn’t Conrad see what was happening to Brian? He should have, and would have if he cared enough to look beyond his dick. And as for Brian’s father…Justin wanted to kill the bastard, and would have if he weren’t already dead.

 

“The sick part of it all was that Brian was always trying to please his father,” Debbie continued clueless to the anger boiling inside of Justin.

 

“Poor kid didn’t know that there was no pleasing that animal! Jack would find reasons to fault Brian. And if he couldn’t find them, he’d make them up. The truth was, Jack hated his son for being the man he could never be. I swear if I knew what was going on in that house, I would have stormed in there and taken that boy with me! But every time I suspected something, and confront Brian about it, he’d beg me to not interfere. Damn boy SWORE to me that it was nothing. That he’d come to me if he needed help. But he never did. And you know why? Because he was protecting his bitch of a mother!” she said.

 

Justin’s head was spinning from all Debbie was telling him. “From Jack?” he asked knowing instinctively that had to be the case.

 

“Yeah. But it wasn’t until years later that I found out the whole truth of what went on in that house. And that was by accident! It was after Gus was born. Gus was about 4,” Debbie said. Again Justin saw and heard the pride in her.

 

“Kids just like his father you know. He was in peewee soccer at the age of 4! They usually don’t take kids until they’re at least 5, but Gus was so good, so coordinated, they accepted him on the team. Brian had pushed for it because his boy wanted it so bad. One day at practice, Gus got knocked down by a bigger kid and busted his nose. Brian lost it. He blamed himself. The doc patched Gus up and told Brian that these things happened all the time with kids, there was nothing he could do about it, but you know Brian. That night he got real drunk. More drunk than I ever saw him. Michael brought him to my house. It was the first, and last time thank God, I actually contemplated taking him to the hospital for being too fucked up! I sent Michael home and stayed up with him. Jesus was he a mess! I guess seeing Gus hurt brought back some very bad memories for him and he just started spewing out all the shit Jack did to him. I swear to God if the man hadn’t died a few years earlier from Cancer, I would have killed him myself!” she said.

 

Justin silently agreed with her. He felt like digging the bastard up and killing him again just for good measure.

 

“That night, Brian told me that he remembered the first time his father hit him. He was around Gus’s age. One night he heard his father yelling at his mother. He came down the stairs to find his father slapping his mother across the face. He was only three, but a brave little fucker even back then. He jumped on his father and screamed at him to stop. Well, he got what he asked for…and more. Jack turned his rage from his wife, on to his son and took a strap to him. At fucking 4 years old!” Debbie spit out through tears.

 

Justin felt his own tears of rage fill his eyes.

 

Debbie shook her head and wiped her eyes with her apron.

 

“Brian learned a lesson that day. He learned how to stop his father from beating his mother. Every time Jack would come home drunk and start in with Joan, Brian would jump in and deflect his anger onto him. God only knows how many beatings he endured. I do know however that the beatings must have stopped when Brian turned 17. I know it because that was the first time I saw JACK with a black eye! My guess is that Brian finally had enough and hit the old bastard back,” she said.

 

“Good for him,” Justin said between clenched teeth. He was glad Brian fought back and got out. He only wished someone was there to save him sooner.

 

“Anyway Brian went off to college after that and didn’t see his father again until he was on his death bed. He went to see him and told him he was gay,” Debbie let out a small bitter laugh, “The old bastard held true to character. He told Mikey that his father told him that he was the one who should be dying of cancer, not him. Brian just smiled at him and turned and left. I don’t if he got any satisfaction from that last encounter, but I do know that we all breathed a sigh of relief when that old bastard croaked.” Debbie said finishing her story, which was a good thing since Kiki choose that moment to show up with his food.

 

“Here you go handsome. Eat up. Deb’s right, you’re too skinny,” she said placing the plate down in front of him, along with his milkshake.

 

Justin winked at her, making her blush as she walked away. He picked up his burger and took a bite, though his stomach rebelled. He had no appetite after hearing Debbie talk about the horrors the man he loved had to endure. Still, he knew if he didn’t eat, Debbie would give him hell.

 

“Anyway kiddo, I’m sure you’ll agree, now that you know what Brian grew up with, that there is no way your sweet mother could remind him of his own shitty one. She let her own son take her beatings. She never lifted a finger to stop it, and to make matters worse, SHE abused him as well!” Debbie dropped that bomb on Justin just as he was swallowing a piece of the burger.

 

He started choking. Debbie shot up from her seat and ran over to him and started hitting his back.

 

“Easy Sunshine! Didn’t mean to spring that on you like that,” she said.

 

Justin stopped choking and took a sip of his milkshake. Once he was able to breathe again he looked over at Deb.

 

“How did she abuse him? I mean besides what you’ve already told me,” he asked.

 

Debbie sighed heavily, as if the tragedy of it all was weighing too heavily on her soul.

 

“Not like Jack did, thank God, but let’s just say she had a cruel viscous tongue,” she said as she moved back to the other side of the booth to sit down.

 

“How vicious?” Justin prompted, his eyes growing deadly serious.

 

Debbie contemplated for a moment telling him. Joan was still alive, and the only reason why Debbie hadn’t torn her a new asshole herself was because of Brian. For some unfathomable reason, Brian was, in his own way, still protecting the woman. Though he never spoke to her, or acknowledged her as his mother, Debbie knew that he still paid the mortgage on her house, and paid her doctor bills. Claire, his sister, had her own problems. She was married to an abusive drunk herself, and was in no position to help her mother. She put that responsibility on her brother. No one would have blamed Brian for just walking away. No mother deserved their son’s scorn more than she, but Brian just couldn’t abandon her completely.

 

“Deb, tell me. What would she say to him?” Justin insisted breaking into Debbie’s thoughts.

 

“Um, I think I’ve said too much already. Regardless of what happened in the past Justin, I can assure you, Brian would NOT appreciate us talking about it. I just told you so you could better understand why he has such trouble forming relationships, especially with parents. But no matter how bad Joan was, the bottom line is, that’s still his mother,” Debbie said.

 

Justin made a rude snorting noise, “Not according to Brian. He hates her. That much I know for sure,” he said.

 

“Yeah, well that hate doesn’t stop him from taking care of her financially,” she spat back then cursed her own stupid rash words. She didn’t mean to tell Justin that. She only knew of the arrangement because Claire had told her. They both went to the same church. Brian didn’t know she knew. He never told anyone, not even Lindsey or her son Michael.

 

“Justin, you can’t say a word to Brian! He doesn’t know I know!” Debbie hastened on.

 

Justin couldn’t have been more shocked at that little revelation. He would have been less surprised if Debbie had told him Brian was straight.

 

“But why?!!!” he asked.

 

Debbie cursed again. “He’s an enigma, that’s for sure. Why? I couldn’t say. But I suspect it’s because that little boy in him is still trying to save his mother, to protect her. Only there’s no big bad Jack anymore to protect her from. Now he protects her from herself,” she said.

 

Justin shook his head in confusion. “I could understand him forgiving her for letting him take her beatings. She was obviously a very weak woman, with a bad drinking problem. She was a victim as well, though I agree with you, she should have had the conviction any mother would have and remove her children from that brutal environment…but you said she abused him too,” Justin said trying to make sense of it all.

 

Debbie understood his confusion, she often felt it herself.

 

“I think….I think that maybe she had to in order to justify her own negligence,” she tried to rationalize then put up her hand to stop Justin who was ready to reject that notion. “No, hear me out. How could she live with herself knowing she let an innocent child, ‘her’ child, suffer a fate that was hers to suffer? She couldn’t, so instead she convinced herself that her son deserved it, and in the process, convinced him as well. I know, sick, but I think we both can agree, Joan was, and still is, a very sick woman,” she said.

 

Justin just stared at her. The picture she was painting of Brian’s childhood was so disturbing he felt like slitting his own throat from the horror of it. For the first time, he could understand the kind of despair Van Gogh must have felt that drove him to cut off his ear. Justin wanted to cut his own ears off so he couldn’t hear anymore. However, he was compelled to hear the whole truth.

 

“Tell me Deb, I need to know. What cruel things did Joan say to him?” He asked. For some unholy reason, Justin needed to know. He needed to feel some of the pain Brian must have felt at having his own mother degrade him… the mother whom he protected, whom he continues to protect.

 

Debbie bit her bottom lip as her mouth twisted in anger.

 

“She would tell him that he deserved the beatings. She said he was an unsuitable son. That he was a ‘mistake’. An abomination. She told him that he wasn’t worthy of God’s or anyone’s love, that he’d be scorned by all he came in contact with. She told him that he was unlovable, and that he was going to Hell. You see Justin, a mother always knows. She knew... and she used it against him,” Debbie said. The bile in her throat stopped her at that point. She couldn’t say any more.

 

She didn’t have to. Justin knew what his mother ‘knew’. His mother had known he was gay and like Deb said, used that knowledge to justify her own culpability in his abuse. It was ‘God’s’ will that he be punished for who he was. Justin wanted to throw up. He wanted to die. He wanted to kill Joan…

 

Debbie sniffed back a sob and composed herself.

 

“So you see, it’s very unlikely his past relationship with his mother has anything to do with his current relationship with your mother. He obviously doesn’t hate all mothers. He considers me his mother, that should tell you something,” she said smiling for the first time since she started this horrid tale.

 

Justin let out a sad, defeated sigh. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” he said shaking some of the glum away from all he just learned. It’s amazing he’s capable of love at all, he thought.

 

“Of course I’m right! Jesus your mother is NOTHING like that woman! She would never say any of the awful things his mother had said to him!” she said not realizing the relevance of her declaration.

 

Justin gasped. His face turned stark white.

 

‘unsuitable son…a mistake…’

 

‘Fuck!’ Justin thought. His mother made no secret that she thought Brian was an ‘unsuitable’ choice for a boyfriend. She actually used that exact word! She told him several times, when they were alone, that dating Brian was a huge mistake. A mistake…same thing Joan said Brian was. Was it possible she spoke those words to Brian? Oh God he had a sick feeling she did!

 

“Jesus fuck Sunshine! You’re scaring the shit out of me with that look! What did I say?” Debbie said in a panicked voice. Justin looked like he was going to pass out.

 

“Deb my mother said similar words to me about Brian! She told me that Brian was an ‘unsuitable’ boyfriend. That I was making a huge ‘mistake’. And now I’m sure that she must have voiced her opinions to him as well, probably using those same exact words! My God Deb, no wonder Brian hates my mother! In his mind, she feels exactly the same way about him that his own mother feels!” Justin blurted out.

 

It was Debbie’s turn to gasp. “Oh my God NO! I mean, taken out of context, those words are just words from any mother who never thinks anybody is good enough for their son or daughter, but put in the right context, with Brian’s history…my God Justin you might be right!” Debbie said.

 

Justin groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

 

“What am I going to do?” he sobbed out.

 

Debbie once again got up from her seat and scooted into the booth next to Justin. She put her arms around his shoulders and hugged him.

 

“Shhhh…Sunshine. We can fix this. Your mother didn’t know. Ok, so she may have inadvertently triggered a bad memory for Brian, but maybe…maybe this is a good thing.”

 

Justin snapped his head up and glared at her. “A good thing! How can you possibly fucking say that?!” he yelled so loud everyone in the diner turned to stare at them.

 

Debbie looked around nervously then lowered her voice. “Calm down! We don’t want the whole diner knowing Brian’s business!” she admonished.

 

Justin had the good grace to look embarrassed, “I’m sorry, you’re right. But Jesus Deb, how can this be good?” he asked.

 

“Well, it might force Brian to confront his mother. I don’t believe he’s ever confronted her for what she did to him. He did what he does best, he blocked it out. His hatred was focused on his father’s abuse, not his mothers. Now if your mother unintentionally got him thinking about his past then maybe he can finally see it for what it really was, and his mothers’ part in it. I know for a fact that Brian fucking Kinney doesn’t ever ‘dwell’ on things. He endures shit, and then buries it. And I’ll bet my collection of Hummel’s that he’s buried the memories of his mothers’ abuse. Why the Hell else would he still be taking care of her? Old habits die-hard. But if we can get him to confront her, then he can finally come to terms with the truth that she was the mistake in his life, not the other way around! So you see Sunshine, we can look at this as an opportunity!” Debbie said.

 

Justin shook his head. “No Deb, we can’t! How are we suppose to make Brian confront his past if I’m not even suppose to know about it and you’re not suppose to know he’s still taking care of his mother?!” he said.

 

“We don’t. Since it was your mother who triggered the memory, it’s going to have to be her who makes him face his past,” Debbie said.

 

Justin groaned. “Really? And exactly how is my mother supposed to do that when she has no clue of what’s she’s done, or of Brian’s past?” he asked with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

 

“Yet.” She said.

 

Justin looked at her with puzzled eyes.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I said yet. She doesn’t know about his past yet,” Debbie clarified.

 

“Oh, and who do you suppose is going to tell her since I’ll reiterate, neither of us are suppose to know!” he said frustrated.

 

“Well Sunshine, the answer to that is the only person who can legitimately tell her. The only person who was actually an eye witness to all the abuse,” Debbie said.

 

Understanding lit in Justin’s eyes.

 

 

“Claire.”

 

 

Part 2

 

 

“Fuck you scared the shit out of me,” Brian said having walked from the bedroom into the living not expecting anyone to be there.

 

It was just past noon. No one was supposed to be here at this time. He had come home from work to change. Fucking Theodore, who was filling in for Agnes, had dropped his triple mocha latte that Brian had sent him out to get, onto his desk which splattered all over his best navy blue Gucci suit. He was meeting with Remington Pharmaceuticals today and needed to look his best. The fortune 500 company was looking for a firm to handle all their security. They owned and operated several buildings and laborites across the state, and some out of state. It was a huge account that would set Ted and Cynthia up financially for the life of the contract, which would be a 5-year renewable every year after that, should Brian land the account. He wanted this bad. He was looking forward to two things these days.

 

Handing his business over to Ted and Cynthia, and handing Justin’s mother back to her husband in California. The object of the latter goal was standing quietly in the middle of his living room. He thought she was spending the day with Emmett. If he had known she’d be here, he would have sent Ted to pick him up a clean suit.

 

“You do have a colorful way with words,” Jennifer responded in her best waspish voice, which made Brian cringe.

 

There had been very few words exchanged between them since her arrival yet they were enough for Brian to know he didn’t want anymore. He knew where he stood with her. He was the ‘unacceptable’ distraction in her son’s life. As far as she was concerned, it was only a matter of time before her precious little boy came to his senses and realized that he was a mistake. The painful truth was that Brian knew she was right. Still, he swore to himself long time ago that he’d never let anyone’s opinions dictate his life. People could either accept him for who he was, or go fuck themselves. And as far as he was concerned, Mrs. Tucker could go fu…

 

“Before you launch into some witty come back, I’d like to call a truce for a minute and talk to you,” she said breaking into his thoughts.

 

He raised his brow at her. “Do you really think that’s necessary? Trust me Mrs. Tucker; I’m fully aware of your feelings concerning Justin’s and mine relationship. That’s a topic that needs no discussion. Just be happy I’m not home every night fucking your little boys’ brains out while you attempt to sleep in the next room,” he said wishing that his cruel words would shut her up long enough so he could get the fuck out of there.

 

Jennifer tilted her head and studied him. There was a lot of pain in him. Though she’d only gotten a glimpse of it once or twice during her brief stay, there was no mistaking that he was harboring some serious emotional baggage. Yet she was certain that at the core, he was a kind, loving man. Not because he showed it in any way, shape or form, but because of the way his family adored him. That kind of love and loyalty was rare. Apparently underneath that brass callous attitude of his was a loving caring heart. Though according to his family, he’d deny to his death that he even owned such an organ. He was a puzzle for sure, but one she didn’t want her son trying to solve. He had his own problems.

 

She sighed deeply and approached him. Brian instinctively took a step back; the self-protective move was not lost on Jennifer. She stopped directly in front of him.

 

“It’s not you,” she said.

 

Brian stared down at her and pushed his tongue against his cheek, “Ok, I’ll play. What’s not me?” he asked in his patent sarcastic voice.

 

“The reason why you can’t be with Justin,” Jennifer said deciding it best to get right to the heart of the matter. The last few days had proved to her that no matter what she did or said, Justin was not going to leave this man. And Jennifer knew it was a relationship doomed from the start. Her only other recourse was to appeal to Brian’s compassionate nature. Something she believed he possessed considering how much he loved and took care of his family.

 

Brian laughed, “Like I said, I’m well aware of your feelings….”

 

Jennifer put her hand up to stop him, “No, you’re not. Yes, I’ll admit, at first I was not particularly fond of you. You were rude, and hurtful,”

 

“Hurtful! What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian snapped back.

 

“I’m talking about not telling me when I called that my son had been shot!” Jennifer got right in his face, showing no fear.

 

Brian grimaced. She was right, it was cruel, but it was Justin’s wish.

 

“That was your son’s decision Mrs. Tucker,” he said in a more conciliatory tone.

 

Jennifer huffed disapprovingly, “Yeah, well I’m his mother and he doesn’t get to make decisions like that! Not when it comes to his health. After everything we went through, I had a right to know!” she said.

 

Brian was taken aback by the conviction in her voice. “Mrs. Tucker,”

 

“Oh please stop ok? We can drop the formalities, call me Jennifer,” she said waving her hand.

 

“Fine then, Jennifer…”

 

“Please, let me finish,” she interrupted.

 

Brian shut his mouth and nodded his head acquiescing to her request.

 

Jennifer took in a deep breath, “As I was saying, at first I did not like you, and when I arrived, I was determined to keep that sentiment. But after getting to know your friends and family a bit, well, let’s just say I got to see you through their eyes. You’re a good, loving man who takes care of his responsibilities. I know that now. But knowing that doesn’t change my opinion that you and Justin should not be together. In fact, it solidifies it. At this point Mr. Kinney,”

 

Brian did interrupt this time, “Brian,” he said.

 

“Very well, Brian, at this point, Justin isn’t capable of being in a relationship,” Jennifer said.

 

Brian furrowed his brow in anger and confusion. “Not capable?” he asked in a dangerous quiet voice.

 

Jennifer held his gaze, “No, I’m afraid not. I know he’s told you about the…incident…but he hasn’t told you the true extent of his injuries, or that he’s never received treatment. He’s a strong boy. You have no idea how strong, but he has yet to deal with what happened to him. He still suffers from the psychological effects of the incident. When he was released from the hospital he came home to stay with me. He was…well…not himself. The doctors put him on meds, but he stopped taking them after a few days. He said they made him crazy, I don’t know, maybe they did, but what I do know is that he was filled with rage. I’ve seen that rage, up close. It was so powerful it shocked him. So much so that he moved out. He was very different after that, he became …callous. He buried his emotions, or so he thought, but you can’t hide from that kind of rage. He just learned to channel it differently,” Jennifer paused at this point and turned away from Brian. Brian stood rooted to his spot and waited for her to continue.

 

“I’m sure you noticed that my son has a taste for danger. He takes unnecessary risks in his professional and personal life. Before the incident he was a levelheaded boy. He respected how dangerous his job was, and always followed the rules. He managed to move up through the ranks without injury. But then he, when he returned to work after the ‘incident’ he started taking on the most dangerous cases. And he was being reckless, obsessive even. And it didn’t end with his job; he was carrying that same reckless attitude into his personal life. He made a habit out of going from one dangerous assignment to another…from one man to another, constantly picking up unsuitable men,” again she paused and turned back to face him. She was surprised by the tense, hurt look on his face.

 

“That’s not normal behavior for my son Brian. It’s his rage, rage he’s never dealt with, controlling his actions. I was happy when Agnes got him the job with your agency. I thought it would be a nice change. That he’d be handling cases like tracking down cheating husbands, or finding missing persons. Well, we both know that wasn’t the case, was it?” she said.

 

Brian’s throat went dry. “No, it wasn’t,” Brian admitted. She was right. The moment Justin arrived he was attracted to the more dangerous cases they had. Setting him self up to catch ‘dumpster’ boys’ killer. Then going under-cover to catch a ring of skinheads who were terrorizing a school. And in each case, he got hurt. Nearly killed this last time. And it was his fault….

 

Jennifer marveled as she witnessed Brian don a cloak of indifference. It was almost masterful the way he easily shut himself down like that. A skill, she assumed, he learned at a very young age and honed over the years. She wondered what his ‘incident’ was.

 

“Well, it’s not your fault, you didn’t know. Justin’s a good cop. One of the best. It’s only natural he’d take on the tougher assignments. But now you know what his true motives are, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s best if you both broke it off now, and let me take my son home with me and get him the help that he needs,” she said.

 

Brian snorted at her suggestion, “I think you should let your son decide what’s best for him. And quite frankly, it’s not his motives I’m concerned with at the moment,” he said.

 

Though he accepted everything Jennifer was telling him, he was suspicious of her motives. Part of him knew a lot of Justin’s ‘reckless’ behavior stemmed from not wanting to be a victim again. They spoke about this before. It was one of the reasons why Brian insisted they both find different lines of work. And Justin agreed. And yes, Brian had to admit before they met, each were dealing with past shit. But now, things were different. He was different, Justin was different. They were both working out their own shit. Jennifer couldn’t see that. She couldn’t accept that her little boy might not need her to deal with his problems. She was the one who needed to be his savior, and she resented the possibility that he no longer needed her guidance

 

Jennifer bristled at Brian’s accusation. ‘…how dare he question my motives! That’s my son!’ she thought.

 

“My…motive…is to get my son the help he needs. He can’t continue living his life like this. He needs help. And I don’t think you can give him the kind of help he needs. I don’t mean to be rude, but let’s face it; his relationship with you is just another reckless endeavor on his part. From all accounts you’ve no interest in any relationship with a man that lasts longer than the time it takes to meet your needs - A trait my son shares and exactly the type of person that he would be attracted to. How long do you think your relationship will last before one of you gets bored and starts looking for the next ‘thrill’? The next conquest?” she said.

 

Brian had to smile at the balls on this woman. She was hard-core when it came to protecting her son. She didn’t pull any punches and used all the weapons in her arsenal to achieve her goal. He didn’t question her love, just her motives. The truth, he suspected, was that she wanted to be her son’s ‘savior’. She couldn’t accept the fact that Justin could deal with his problems on his own, or, God forbid, with the help of someone else. No. It had to be her.

 

“Well Jennifer, I don’t think that’s something for you to worry about,” Brian said.

 

He couldn’t very well confide to her that his and Justin’s thrill seeking natures is what bonded them. How could he tell her that their relationship, which would indeed be considered reckless and dangerous by many, was normal to them? They took risks with each other that they never would take with anyone else. If he were to tell her that her little boy had a sexual sadistic/masochistic side to him that matched Brian’s, it would just solidify her beliefs that her son was ‘sick’ and needed help. Of course that was ridiculous! Justin’s sexual ‘tastes’ were innate. He didn’t develop his sexual propensities after the bashing. He was born with them.

 

However, she wasn’t wrong about everything. Justin still suffered emotionally from the bashing. Brian had known this for some time. Yet unlike Jennifer, he’d given Justin the space to deal with his own demons. Perhaps too much space. Perhaps Justin wasn’t dealing with things as well as he thought. After hearing the unvarnished truth of how Justin took unnecessary risks in his job before he came to the Pitts, and witnessing first hand how he continued to take those risks here, he had to agree that Justin needed a little intervention. It was as if his blond was trying wash away the stain of being Hobbs’ victim by taking down as many perpetrators of violence as he could.

 

Justin never faced his own attacker, and Brian knew that at some point, he’d have to. It was necessary he confront Hobbs’ in order for him to be free of his ‘rage’. Another thing Jennifer was right about…Justin was repressing a lot of rage, and it was being unleashed in his illogical pursuit to avenge all victims. It was time he faced that truth, and the root of his barely suppressed, mis-directed anger. Confronting Conrad had helped Brian release his own demons, and his relationship with Connie wasn’t as nearly as toxic as Justin’s was with Hobbs. Justin needed to confront Hobbs. As much as it galled him, Jennifer was right. Justin needed help…just not from her.

 

Jennifer was getting uneasy with his silence. She straightened her shoulders, and took up a battle stance. Brian raised his brow at her.

 

“What you think is irrelevant. Justin is my son! Now, are you going to do the honorable thing and leave him to my care? Or are you going to be a selfish prick and ignore his needs in favor of your own?” she challenged dropping her waspish persona.

 

 

“Um, mom, I’d place my money on him being a selfish prick...” Justin’s voice rang out ominously from across the room. Two heads swiveled towards the door. Neither had heard him enter.

 

Brian looked over at him with a wry smirk.

 

“Your son is right Jennifer, when it comes to pricks…I’m extremely selfish,” he said.


	16. Chapter 16

“Why aren’t you at the museum?” Justin asked.

Jennifer’s eyes darted back and forth between her son and Brian.

“The museum was closed today due to renovations. Emmett went for a pedicure and I decided to come back here and call your sister. She’s been bugging Jeffery to let her sleep over Hillary’s after the party but he said no so now she’s working on getting my permission.” Jennifer explained nervously. She wondered how much her son had heard of her conversation with Brian.

Justin snorted and walked further into the loft keeping his eyes on Brian trying to gauge his reaction to whatever his mother had said to him before he arrived. He only heard the last part; his mother demanding Brian to hand over his care to her. As if he were an object! And what the fuck makes her think he needs any kind of ‘care’ anyway, he wondered. If anyone wasn’t over his attack, it was HER! He couldn’t believe she had to gall to demand anything of his lover! It fucking pissed him off big time, he couldn’t imagine how Brian was feeling over her audacity but he was confident it wasn’t good.

“She should have asked you first. He has no right dictating to her what she can and cannot do. He’s not her father,” Justin retorted tartly.

Brian raised his brow at Justin’s remark. Apparently Justin wasn’t too fond of ‘step daddy’.

“Now this is interesting. Like mother, like son. I’m just wondering which of you dislikes the others’ partner more?” Brian queried tongue in cheek.

Justin physically cringed. Brian was calling him out on his hypocrisy. He couldn’t very well criticize his mother for not liking his choice in boyfriends when it appeared that he wasn’t too fond of his mothers’ choice either. But the truth was he liked Jeffery. Oh there was a time when he couldn’t stand the man, and part of him was still a tad uncomfortable with him being so young, but he had eventually accepted him as his mothers’ husband. And he was great with Molly. He didn’t mean to disparage him just now; he was just lashing out at his mother for subjecting Brian to her ridiculous, and uncalled for demands.

Jennifer threw Brian a grateful look for coming to her defense, as unconventional as that defense was.

“I don’t dislike Jeffery,” Justin said. “I’m sorry I said that. Jeffery is good to you and he’s great with Molly. I was just trying to make a point,” he said.

“Oh, and what would that point be? That you can hurt me? I think that’s already been established,” she said in a voice that conveyed some hidden meaning shared only by the two of them.

Justin’s face went white…Brian turned red. She was laying some heavy-duty guilt on his head for something. Brian didn’t know what, but he knew ‘that’ tone. He’d heard it before, often. And he didn’t like it one bit.

“Justin…” Brian started to say something but Justin stopped him by putting his hand up. Brian could see his blond emotionally pull himself together, taking deep breaths.

“No, Brian, I’ll handle this. It’s been long over due,” Justin said coming to a decision.

He’d been holding on to the guilt of having pushed his mother when she tried to stop him mid panic attack and he realized, that she had been fostering that guilt over the past couple of years. She’d conveniently, though subtly, refer to that time when she felt she was losing ground with him; when she wanted him to do something, or stop doing something she didn’t approve of. He’d let it work in the past, but no more.

“What my mother is referring to,” Justin said having gained his composure, “is a time after the bashing,” he said.

Jennifer gasped cutting Justin off. She never heard her son refer to the ‘incident’ as a ‘bashing’. The sound of that word was harsh, brutal and it had the effect of stripping away the ‘fog’ of that time to reveal the stark ugly truth of the attack. For that was what it was… a brutal attack. A bashing. Not, as they so often like to refer to it, an ‘incident’. She, they, had believed that calling it an ‘incident’ some how lessened the impact of it, eased the pain when in reality it did nothing to ease the pain, it merely gave them an excuse to mask it. And Justin had been so good at masking it these past few years he barely recognized it was still there. But it was.

“Yes mother, I was bashed. I was hit in the heat with a bat. Pretty hard too. Cracked my skull, put me in a coma, fucked up my motor skills and caused me to have panic attacks for months afterwards. It wasn’t an incident mother it was a bashing. A brutal attack,” Justin said.

Jennifer remained quiet, not daring to dispute him.

“It’s time we faced reality,” he continued, “You took me in after I got out of the hospital. You put your life on hold to care for me. No son was ever loved more by their mother than I was, and I hope you know how much I appreciate and love you for trying. But I wouldn’t let you help me, I wouldn’t let anyone. And when you tried to hold me in the middle of a panic attack I freaked and pushed you away. I know what I did mother, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret it. I knew then that I was becoming a danger to you, and that’s why I moved out. I could have seriously hurt you….”

“But you didn’t! You didn’t mean to push me! I should have never approached you from behind like I did, without warning. And even in the midst of an attack you were cognizant enough to reach out and catch me before I fell! I didn’t get hurt!” Jennifer interrupted.

Justin held her gaze with steely blue ones, “No you didn’t. But that doesn’t stop you from you from throwing that incident in my face every time you want me to bend to your wishes, does it?” Justin accused.

Jennifer’s face flamed. Jeffery had said as much himself. She did use that incident to manipulate Justin into doing things she felt was for his own good. And though she did it out of love, to protect her son who was and still is as far as she could see, spiraling out of control, it didn’t excuse her behavior. She felt ashamed. She walked over to the couch and slumped down into it, burying her face in her hands as she did so.

Justin cursed under his breath. He didn’t want to make his mother feel bad; he knew why she did it. She feared for him. But it had to stop. He was a man, he didn’t need his mother’s help and he sure as hell wasn’t going to allow her to manipulate him anymore. Good or bad, his decisions were his to make and she’d have to at least respect, if not accept them. And if she couldn’t their relationship would suffer. Justin didn’t want to see it come to that but if it did, then so be it. It was her choice.

He looked over to Brian to see how he was dealing with all this domestic drama unfolding in his living room. He stood there, with an indiscernible look on his face. God he wished he knew what he was thinking. Under the circumstances, he doubted it was anything good. Justin smiled apologetically at him and walked over to sit down besides his mother.

“Why don’t you like Brian? And don’t you dare lie to me,” Justin asked.

Jennifer took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back to face her son. Brian couldn’t help but admire the steel in the woman’s composure. He knew it couldn’t have been easy for her to hear son call her out on her behavior. Especially in front of him. He was interested to hear her response now that he knew the true reasons behind her objections to their relationship.

 

“I may be guilty of a lot of things Justin, but lying isn’t one of them. Yes, I may have been manipulative in the past in a misguided attempt to protect you, and for that I am very sorry…But I have NEVER lied to you,” she said.

“I don’t think you have Mother, that’s why I trust you to tell me the truth now,” Justin said.

Jennifer took little solace in knowing her son trusted her. She may have never lied to him however her manipulations prevented her from being completely honest with him. She’d been beating around the bush when she should have confronted the situation head on. It was a mistake she wasn’t likely to make again, and one she needed to rectify starting now.

He wanted to know why she disliked Brian…the answer was, she didn’t. What she disliked was her son’s penchant for making rash decisions. Since the incid…attack, he’d been living his life recklessly, seeking out danger wherever he could. He never dealt with the psychological affects of the betrayal that led to the attack. As a result he’d been repressing a lot of pain, but pain like that couldn’t be contained, it just manifested itself in other ways.

What she told Brian earlier was the truth. Her son changed after the attack. He became cold and distance refusing to let anyone get close to him. He acted out in rash, inappropriate, and often dangerous ways both in his professional, and his personal life…and his behavior was only getting worse.

His relationship with Brian was classically symptomatic of his escalating impulsiveness. The man was a self-proclaimed rake who also liked to live on the edge. Justin’s pursuit of him was a rash decision based on Brian’s own proclivity for danger and promiscuity. And if that weren’t cause enough for concern, there was the fact that Brian brought his own emotional baggage to the relationship. The two couldn’t be more wrong for each other. They were swimming in toxic emotional waters. Neither was in a position to help the other. They both needed therapy in her opinion, but her only concern was for her son. Brian wasn’t her responsibility, Justin was. And the best way to help him was to get him to agree to seek professional help.

“Justin, I don’t dislike Brian. True, I don’t think he’s right for you but this really isn’t about him. It’s about you, and I think you…”

“Can do better than hooking up with a heartless bastard,” Brian finished her sentence for her.

He knew what Jennifer was about to say, and he also had a good idea of how his blond was going to react to it. Though he wasn’t a big fan of Justin’s mother, or her behavior in dealing with her son, he had to agree with her. Justin hadn’t dealt with being bashed or more specifically, the betrayal behind the bashing. He survived the physical attack, but the emotional blow of being betrayed by a man who supposedly loved him left behind a gaping wound inside of him. And until he dealt with that betrayal, that wound would continue to fester. But Justin wasn’t going to acknowledge that particular injury, no less seek help for it just because his mommy said he had to. If, and Brian was determined to change that if into a when, Justin decided to deal with the emotional ramifications of what Hobbs did to him, it would have to be on his own terms.

“And I don’t blame her for believing that of me Justin,” Brian continued, “I’ve been cold and rude to her. I know I promised you I’d try to get along, but, well, let’s just say I don’t do well with mothers,” he said throwing in that bit of truth to make his cover more believable.

Jennifer looked at him with a stunned expression. He was throwing himself under the bus for her. She was humbled by the gesture, but her son needed psychiatric help, and she had to make him see that.

“Brian, I don’t think of you that way, well not anymore,” she awkwardly stated.

Justin saw the tell-tale tinge of red color his mothers’ cheeks and smiled. Apparently his mother, like most people who came in contact with his Adonis, wasn’t immune to his charms. Rude or not, she was warming up to his boyfriend.

“And I appreciate the gesture but I can’t let you do this. Justin needs,” Jennifer continued.

“Justin needs for us to come to an understanding,” Brian once again interrupted her then turned to his blond, “Sunshine I’d like to speak to your mother alone, do you mind?” he asked.

Justin looked back and forth between his lover and his mother with a perplexed expression on his face. Something more was going on here than met the eye, and for the life of him he couldn’t fathom what. But what was obvious was that the hostility he sensed earlier was completely gone. Replaced now by an odd camaraderie. He wouldn’t question it, not now anyway, he was just glad for the change. And he was happy to hear Brian admit that he didn’t do well with ‘mothers’. It was a step towards getting him to deal with his relationship with his own mother. Perhaps Debbie was right. This could be turning out to be a good thing.

“Of course not,” he said, “You two need to fix whatever this is between you. Though I suspect you’ve already come to some ‘understanding’,” he said.

Brian couldn’t help but feel a bit of respect at his blonds’ astuteness.

“I just want to be clear on one thing Mother,” Justin said turning to his mother.

Jennifer sat up straight and paid rapt attention to her son, “What is that?”

“You will NOT try to manipulate Brian, got it? First, it won’t work, second you might find yourself on the other end of that manipulation,” he said then turned to Brian and winked.

Brian smiled at him.

Jennifer huffed, “I’ve no doubt the man has his own special powers of persuasion. But I can assure you, I will be on my best behavior,” she said.

“Good, then I’ll leave you two alone,” Justin said rising to his feet, “Will I see you there later?” he asked Brian.

“Yeah, I have a meeting later this afternoon I can’t miss,” he said.

“I heard. Remington Pharmaceuticals. Big account,” Justin said.

Brian just nodded.

Justin knew Brian was hot for this account. It would mean he could hand the business over to Cynthia and Ted and then they could start a new venture together. He was thrilled by the prospect, but part of him would miss the excitement of the job.

“Well, good luck, though I doubt you need it. You’re Brian fucking Kinney,” Justin said gracing him with one of his million watt smiles. Brian physically glowed at the gift. Jennifer witnessed the exchange with awed interest. Apparently, there was more to their relationship than she had realized.

Justin leaned over and kissed his mother on the cheek startling her out of her reverie, “I’ll make reservations for dinner tonight at Pasqual’s. Ted from work is performing there tonight, opera. Singing is a hobby of his. I hear he’s pretty good,” he said.

“He is,” Brian said rolling his eyes, “Though you’d think the man would have a more interesting hobby,” he added.

Justin laughed. “Be grateful his hobbies aren’t as interesting as yours; else he’d never show up for work in the morning…doesn’t have your stamina,” he said tongue in cheek.

“Dinner sounds lovely dear,” Jennifer said preventing Brian from responding to her sons’ salacious comment.

“Good, then I’ll call you later,” Justin said then walked over to Brian and kissed him good bye before leaving the loft.

 

Once he was gone Jennifer stood up to face Brian, “Why did you do that?” she asked.

“Because you were about to tell him he needed to see a shrink,” Brian answered bluntly.

Jennifer cringed, “Well I wouldn’t have put it quite like that,” she said.

“Perhaps not, but that’s what he would have heard, and he would have rejected it and shut down. If we want him to deal with…”

“We?” Jennifer inquired with a raised brow.

Brian looked down at her and pulled his bottom lip in. “Yeah,” he said after a moment, “We. If we want him to confront what happened to him we’ll need a different approach. He’s your son, I’m sure you realize by now that coercion, manipulations or any attempt to make him do something he’s not ready to will only backfire,” he said.

Jennifer wrung her hands nervously. He was right. Justin did not respond well to being told what to do. He had that famous Taylor stubborn streak. What amazed her was how intuitive Brian was when it came to Justin yet he’d only known him a short time. It was another piece to the ever-complex puzzle their relationship was presenting to be.

“What do you suggest we do?” she asked.

“Well you can start by just being supportive without haranguing him all the time,” Brian suggested with more than a little sarcasm in his tone.

Jennifer’s body stiffened at the accusation, “I don’t harangue my son, I’m his mother, it’s my job to inform him when I think he’s making a mistake,” she defended.

“And that’s another thing,” Brian said, “stop judging him for his choices. I know you think I’m wrong for him, and you might be right, but let him make that decision for himself.”

Jennifer pulled her self up and gave him one of her haughtiest expressions, “I don’t judge my son, I merely advise him on his choices. I’ve been giving him guidance his whole life,” she commented sharply.

“Really? And how’s that been working out for you lately?” he asked.

Jennifer’s face flamed red hot. She wished she could smack that smug look from his face! He had no right questioning her skills as mother! No matter if he was right, she begrudgingly admitted to herself. She may have raised him, and guided him in life, but that was when he was a boy, and a teen. He was a man now and no longer required, nor appreciated his mothers’ guidance; especially when it was unsolicited. Still, this man who just recently met her son, had NO right to question her! Her love for her son was unconditional, and eternal. How long would his so called ‘affection’ for her son last? He was the LAST person she needed lecturing from!

Brian saw an attack brewing in those bright blue eyes. He unwittingly smiled. It was amazing how similar mother and son were. She was a fighter, and right now she was fighting for her son. Brian couldn’t help but admire that. He put his hand up to stop the tirade he sensed coming from her, “I’m not trying to provoke you Jennifer. Or insult you, believe me, I know how lucky Justin is to have a mother who actually gives a shit about him,” he said then paused because an unexpected tightness gripped his chest. ‘fuck’ he thought. He didn’t know where that feeling came from, nor did he want to examine it.

Jennifer saw the flash of pain in his eyes, only to be quickly masked. She wondered, not for the first time, about his past. A past that she was increasingly becoming convinced was filled with so much pain and remorse. It only confirmed her resolve that her son should NOT be involved with him. They were both too emotionally damaged.

She cleared her throat, “Well I thank you for that acknowledgement. I’ve always only had Justin’s best interest at heart,” she said.

Brian mentally shook himself and looked up at her, “I know that. I’m only suggesting that right now, he doesn’t need his mother. As hard as that may be for you to accept, you have to know I’m right. You’re his mother, yes, and he’ll always love you. But he’s a man, with a man’s needs,” he said.

Jennifer’s anger deflated a bit, “You might be right, but are you sure you’re the best man to meet those needs now? At this point in his life?” Jennifer challenged. She knew Brian understood she wasn’t talking about sexual needs. She was talking about Justin’s emotional needs and she wanted him to think real hard if he could deal with that, considering his own emotional issues.

 

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he contemplated Jennifer’s question. It was a legitimate concern. He wasn’t exactly emotionally stable himself, he knew that. Love and relationships came hard for him. He had his own set of emotional baggage, how could he possibly think he could help Justin deal with his, when he barely acknowledged his own? When he thought about it, all things considered, he was the LAST person that should be helping Justin…yet, deep in his heart, he knew that regardless of his lack of credentials, ironically he was the only person who could help him.

“I may not be the best man, but I’m the only man right now who can,” he answered honestly though he had no idea why he believed that. But he did. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Brian believed he was the only man who could help Justin heal. The only man he would trust enough…

Jennifer saw the earnestness in is expression and nodded. She believed him. Against her better judgment, she believed him.

“Perhaps,” she said not ready to fully accept her new found belief, “So, what are you going to do?” she asked.

Brian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, “Fuck if I know. Talk to him. Get him to open up to me. Whatever it takes,” he said.

“What makes you think he won’t react any differently to you than he would to me?” Jennifer asked. She was still stinging from the realization that her ‘little’ boy didn’t need her anymore.

Brian averted his eyes for a moment, “Because I care about him,” he said.

It was a simple declaration said in a voice so soft, and sincere, Jennifer thought at first she must have imagined it.

If those words were said in any other manner, or by any other person, Jennifer might have been insulted. “he cares for him…?… well she was his mother, she loved him beyond compare! But that was exactly the point here, she realized with a sudden burst of clarity. There was no comparison. She loved him as her child. He’d always be her child. Brian loved him, cared for him, as a man. She understood the difference, and the difference it could make in aiding her son to heal.

“I believe you do,” she said in an equally soft voice.

Brian turned his gaze back to her. “You know I might not be able to get through to him,” he said getting back to their dilemma. “Any advice on how to pierce that infamous Taylor stubborn streak?” he asked only half teasing.

Jennifer sighed and sat back down on the couch. “I don’t know if you can. But I realize now that if any one can, it would be you. But what if you can’t? What then?” she asked, her voice sounding panicked, “Brian, he can’t go on like this,” she said.

Brian frowned and sat down besides her, “No, he can’t,” he agreed.

They both sat together in somber silence for a moment until Brian had enough of their disconsolate mood.

“Ok, enough of this doom and glum bullshit. It’s making my dick soft,” he said glibly.

Jennifer shot him a reproachful look.

Brian smiled at her, “TMI, I get it, but don’t despair Mother Taylor…”

“Tucker…”

Brian chuckled softly.

“Jennifer…” he amended, “Personal bodily conditions aside, I can promise you that one way or another, we’ll get Justin the help he needs. Then hopefully my better half, and yes, I’m talking about my dick, won’t ever have to suffer this sorry state again,”

Jennifer scoffed very un-lady like. “How can you be so cavalier?” she said.

“Because I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I meant what I said, we will find a way to help Justin. Worse case scenario, if Justin refuses to acknowledge his problem, we’ll bring his problem to him,” Brian explained.

Jennifer’s eyes narrowed in confusion, “And how do you suppose we do that?” she asked.

“We bring Hobbs to him,” Brian said.

It was a good thing Brian’s reflexes were as good as Justin’s, because it was he this time that had to catch Jennifer before she fell off the couch.

 

PART 2

 

One week later..

 

“Jesus Carl it’s not like I’m asking you to put a hit on someone,” Brian drawled from his position on the shabby couch in Horvath’s office.

Carl walked over to his door and slammed it shut before facing Brian.

“Ironically enough, it would be much easier to arrange that than what you’re asking me to do!” he practically yelled.

Brian lounged back on the pilled fabric of the lumpy sofa. He pulled a cigarette out of his leather jacket and lit it, inhaling deeply before blowing out one long stream of smoke.

“There’s a law against smoking in public places you know, especially government buildings,” Carl said.

Brian shrugged. “So sue me, or arrest me but don’t avoid the issue here. You owe me Horvath,” he said.

Carl threw him an incredulous look, “I owe you? What the fuck for?” he asked in all sincerity.

Brian took another drag from his cigarette before answering, “Well for starters, for trying to place a mole in my agency,” he said.

Carl snorted. “I was trying to protect you!” he defended.

Brian would have argued, but he knew he was speaking the truth. In his own warped way of thinking, Carl believed that blackmailing Lucas into spying on him was for his own good. He used, or more accurately, attempted to use, Lucas as a means to keep tabs on Brian so he could stop him, or cover for him should he be involved in any nefarious dealings. His intentions were good, his methods not so good. Lucas showed more character by refusing to fall victim to Horvath’s threats. Brian was starting to like that man more and more. Though he still wasn’t certain how he felt about his and Cynthia’s tumultuous relationship….

Brian exhaled a cloud of smoke and brought his thoughts back to the matter at hand, “It’s not the fact that you tried to plant a spy in my agency that bothers me, it’s the fact that you thought I had something to do with my ex lovers’ boyfriend showing up in the hospital, beaten and unconscious, with a piece of paper found in his pocket that had my name scrawled on it,” he said.

Carl threw him a dumbfounded look, “Yeah, you’re right. With such flimsy ‘circumstantial’ evidence, how could I possibly suspect you might be involved somehow, and possibly in trouble!” he spit out sarcastically.

But Brian wasn’t letting him off the hook so easily. He turned his head to look at him, “You should have had more faith in me,” he said solemnly.

Carl pressed his lips together tightly. He had no retort. In hindsight, perhaps he should have had more faith in him. But he’d known Kinney for a long time. And his decision to recruit Lucas to keep an eye on him was not based in faith, but in practicality. Brian Kinney was and always has been unpredictable, and ambitious as hell both in his personal and professional life. He was no Saint, and this wouldn’t have been the first time he managed to ‘complicate’ his life. He was an adventurous soul, always seeking out new challenges to conquer, and often stirring up trouble in the process. Then, once he made a success of a new business, or an undertaking, he’d moved on, sometimes leaving a slew of broken hearts and bank accounts in his wake.

Brian loved the game be it in business or in his personal life, and he played it to win. He loved keeping people off balance. He held no allegiance anyone, or at least that was the case until a certain blond came into his life. Carl still didn’t know what to make of that relationship. But before Taylor had entered into the picture, the only exception was his family. Brian had an unwavering loyalty to them, especially his son. The man lived and breathed for that boy. No one would have guessed Brian ‘fucking ‘Kinney was capable of being such a loving, devoted father. Outside his small knit circle of family and friends, he was known as a cold, heartless bastard; ruthless both in business, and in his personal pursuits. But Carl, who was as close as one could be to being part of Kinney’s small knit family, due to his current relationship with Brian’s surrogate mother, Debbie Novotny, saw something in him that was well hidden from the outside world... A heart and constitution that rivaled the best of men.

Carl suspected that Brian was capable of a love so grand that most people couldn’t even begin to comprehend. And perhaps that was why he so adamantly shunned the mere notion of its’ existence…to protect himself, believing if he exposed his heart to the experience, he’d be vulnerable in ways that would leave him open to irreparable emotional damage. It would explain his aversion to the concept of true love...

Carl shook his head at his own philosophical musings. Figuring out the inner workings of Kinney’s mind was like trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing gum. It was impossible. The only sure thing that could be said for the man was that he was an enigma. Yet as mysterious as he was, there was no mystery that beneath it all, Brian Kinney was one of those rare, dying breed….A good man. However a lifetime on the force had taught Carl that people, no matter how ‘good’, under certain circumstances, could do bad things. And Kinney was no exception. Carl had feared that when Mark, Brian’s ex lovers’ lover, showed up on his doorstep, beaten and unconscious, Kinney might have gotten himself in some kind of trouble. And as an ‘almost verifiable member of his makeshift family’ he felt responsible for the man.

“It wasn’t a matter of faith Brian; it was a matter of protecting your ass. And I won’t apologize for it. I’d do it again given the chance, and I’ll do it now to stop you from this insane plan of yours,” Carl said in all sincerity.

 

Brian swung his legs over the sofa and sat up, “If you won’t help me Carl, I’ll just have to find someone else who will,” he said dismissively knowing full well that Carl would help him. He really had no choice; Brian wasn’t beneath calling in Deb to aide him in his quest.

Carl cursed under his breath as he slumped down in his chair behind his desk. Kinney was playing hardball with him. The only other way Brian could get what he wanted was through bribing someone. Someone from his department no doubt since half of them was more loyal to him then they were to their own Sergeant! Though Carl couldn’t be bitter or jealous. Kinney had earned his men’s respect over the years through the work he’s done with and for the department. Yeah…he knew Kinney long enough now to know that once the man wanted something, he’d stop at nothing to get it. Carl would have to find a way to accommodate him else no doubt the man would end up getting himself into a shit load of trouble, and then Carl would have face Debbie’s wrath. And there was nothing worse than that woman’s temper.

Brian saw Carl’s impending capitulation and smiled to himself. He hadn’t wanted it to come to this. He didn’t like putting Carl in this position but recent events proved to him that he had no choice.

After their conversation at the loft the other day, Jennifer decided it was best if she checked into a Hotel. Justin was livid at first, until he realized her decision had nothing to do with Brian. Well, not directly. She had been able to convince Justin that hers and Brian’s differences had been resolved, and she felt the loft was too small for the three of them. She told Justin that she didn’t want to invade on their privacy, plus, Brian was picking up the tab for the five star hotel she chose to stay at. She was looking forward to being treated to daily massages, facials, pedicures, manicures, and a whole list of other amenities. Brian had even agreed to hire a private trainer for her during her stay there. She had commented to them that she needed to stay in shape in order to keep up with her young stud of a husband. Justin turned three shades of green at her bluntness, Brian laughed amused by her unapologetic brashness. It was another trait both mother and son shared…insatiable sexual appetites and lack of modesty about it.

Her departure gave him and Justin much needed time alone to fuck, and talk. Ok, so they mostly fucked…but hey, priorities took precedence. They hadn’t fucked for three days prior; there was a lot of fucking, sucking, rimming and ramming that needed to be caught up on. But to be fair, in between all the sexual exchange of bodily fluids, Brian made sure they exchanged some words as well. Actually, their talks were more revealing on his part than Justin’s. He found himself divulging little tidbits about his own mishap youth…memories about high school, his time with Conrad, his friendship with Mikey, (all while staying carefully away from discussing his ‘pre-high school’ years) thinking that if he shared a bit of his past, his blond would reciprocate in kind. Which he did…up to a point. But when Brian would broach the subject of Hobbs, Justin would shut down. His blond had no problem talking about the actual attack, even showing anger and bitterness over the whole incident, but when it came to the man responsible for setting him up, Justin refused to discuss it stating only that it was a lesson well learned, and that he’d moved on. Yeah right, Brian thought, and he suddenly started liking pussy. Neither scenario was remotely believable.

Brian was becoming more convinced than ever that Jennifer was right. Justin hadn’t moved on at all, he was just avoiding facing the reality that a man who he once had deep feelings for and, who supposedly returned those feelings, set him up to get killed. That kind of betrayal deserved some kind of emotional reaction. Justin wasn’t displaying any.

“Be reasonable Kinney! Do you know the paper work alone involved in arranging a transfer like that? Not to mention the uphill battle I’d have convincing a judge to sign off on it! A request like that would raise a lot of questions, questions I’d have no fucking reasonable answer for!” Carl said in one last attempt to stop Brian from this madness. Carl didn’t know who this Hobbs character was but the mere fact that Brian was making the request meant he was up to something. And that ‘something’ couldn’t be anything good.

“I know what I’m asking of you Carl. And I know how difficult it will be for you to grant me this favor. But I am asking. So either say yes, you’ll do it, or turn me down, but please, spare me the theatrics. I think you’ve been hanging around Honeycutt too much at Deb’s house. You’ve developed a flare for dramatics’.” Brian drawled growing tired of Carl haranguing him.

He had decided to do exactly what he told Jennifer he would do should Justin refuse to face his problems. Bring his problem...aka…Chris Hobbs to him. And only Carl could help him achieve that goal. That’s why he was currently sitting on the flea-infested couch in his office asking him to have Hobbs transferred to the Western state penitentiary here in Pittsburgh. Hobbs was convicted of conspiracy to a hate crime and was currently serving a ten-year sentence, the maximum for that type of crime, at a federal prison in upstate NY. Judges were notorious for throwing the book at people who committed crimes against cops. Hobbs found that out the hard way, as did the kid, Cody Weston, the one who actually swung the bat, did. Judge gave him three consecutive life sentences. The boy came from a poor family, with no means to pay a lawyer to appeal, and the public defender there had no motive to pursue one. Chances were that kid would never see the outside of a jail cell in his lifetime.

What struck Brian as ironic was that Justin had no problem facing Weston, the guy who actually bashed him. He went to visit him in jail when he got out of the hospital just so he could look him in the eye and let him know he failed. He wanted his attacker to see that he was alive, free, and doing just fine while the fucking piece of shit would spend the rest of his worthless life rotting in jail. Assuming he’d survive jail at all. Justin never spoke a word to the kid, he just stood there, on the other side of the glass wall, (Which Brian was grateful to hear there was one because he knew Justin would have tried to kill him if he had access to him) and stared at him smiling. Once he was satisfied he got his message across, he turned his back on the kid and left. The encounter gave Justin some sort of closure… with Weston at least. But Hobbs, the guy who set Justin up to get bashed…well that was another situation entirely. That was an emotional betrayal that Justin wasn’t ready or willing to face. When the departments’ shrink suggested to him that he visit Hobbs too, Justin told her no offense, but she could go fuck herself.

Brian learned all this through a guy he knew who worked the same precinct Justin did in NY. Same guy told him that after his visit with Weston, Justin became more determined at work. He was obsessive in bringing down perps, and sometimes took down innocent people in the process. He’d been flirting dangerously close to going outside the law in his vigilante pursuits to the point where his Sergeant was forced to give him an ultimatum; either take a leave of absence, or be suspended indefinitely. Justin chose the leave of absence and took his cousins Agnes’ advice and left NYC to apply for a job at Brian’s agency in Pittsburg. His blond was still technically on a leave of absence from the NYPD. In reality, he could go back to his old job at any time. And that was the LAST thing Brian wanted Justin to do.

“Fine!” Carl bellowed breaking into Brian’s thoughts.

Brian raised an eyebrow at him, “Fine you’ll do it, or fine I should find someone else to help me,” he challenged.

Carl actually snarled at him, “Fine I’ll do it!” he gritted out between clenched teeth, “But I’m telling you Kinney, one of these days you’re going to get yourself into real trouble, and I won’t be able to help you. God only knows what nefarious scheme you’ve cooked up for this Hobbs character, but I’d bet my career, which I’m probably risking anyway, that it won’t come to no good! The man’s in jail Brian, be reasonable! Whatever beef you have with him is settled, he’s paying his dues. Why can’t you just let sleeping dogs lie?” Carl said.

Brian got up from the couch and approached Carl’s desk. Looking down, he dropped his cigarette into a half full cup of coffee and sighed, “Unfortunately Chief, this dog won’t lie until he’s put down,” Brian said then quickly looked back up at Carl, “Metaphorically speaking, of course,” he added with a smirk.

Carl lounged back in his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “This has something to with Taylor, doesn’t it?” he asked.

Brian’s smile faded, “Yes,” he said, “You’re going to find out anyway as soon as you make the request. Hobbs is the guy who set Justin up to get bashed,” he said holding Carl’s gaze.

“Fuck,” Carl cursed and straightened up in his chair shaking his head. He knew some of Taylor’s background. Ace detective, got marked while undercover and ended up in the hospital with a broken skull. But that’s as much as he knew. He didn’t know the names of his attackers, or what happened to them. It all made sense now. This was one dog Carl felt definitely needed to be left alone! This was personal for Brian.

“Listen Brian, I know you got it bad for that kid but…”

“You don’t know shit Horvath,” Brian interrupted him, “and there is no ‘buts’ about it. I’m not planning on killing the guy, though I’ll be honest, given the chance, I would, I just want to talk to him. And Justin needs to talk to him. He hasn’t seen him since before the attack. The DA had arranged for a speedy trial, since it was a crime against one of their own. Justin was still in the hospital during the trial, and the sentencing. He never got a chance to confront his attacker,” Brian tried to explain.

Carl looked at him with a puzzled expression, “Wait, I’m confused. You said this Hobbs character set Justin up, that would insinuate that he wasn’t the one who actually attacked him,” he said.

Brian’s face hardened, “Hobbs may not have physically swung the bat himself, but what he did in many ways was much, much worse. Justin trusted Hobbs; they had a …” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, “fuck it doesn’t matter,” he said letting out a long breath, “Justin needs to confront Hobbs. He almost died because of Hobb’s actions. Justin won’t be able to get past what happened to him if he doesn’t confront the man who betrayed him,” he said then leaned over the desk so his eyes were level with Carl’s.

“Justin had no problem confronting Weston, the kid who ‘actually’ took a bat to his head, yet he can’t bring himself to face Hobbs, the man who ratted him out. Now can you now understand why I want you to bring Hobb’s here? Justin won’t go to NYC to face him. So I need to bring Hobbs here,” he said.

Carl held his gaze, his brow furrowed in concern, “If Justin won’t go to NYC to face this guy, what makes you think he’ll face him here?” he asked.

“Because here, I can arrange a meeting without his knowledge,” Brian said.

Carl leaned back in his chair again and whistled low and long, “You’re playing a dangerous game here Kinney. Taylor won’t forgive you for blindsiding him like that. The kid obviously doesn’t want to face Hobbs, and your forcing him isn’t going to go over well. Have you thought of that?” he asked.

Brian straightened himself up and away from the desk. A sad, resigned look fell over his features, “Yeah, I thought of it. But if it means he’ll finally be able to get past what happened, and start to heal from the emotional wounds that prick inflicted on him, then it’s worth the risk of losing him,” Brian said.

Carl could see the deep anguish in his friends face and his heart went out to him. He got up from behind his desk and walked over to Brian.

“I’ll do it,” he said putting his arm around Brian’s shoulder, “I’ll arrange for the meeting. You shouldn’t be involved in this. Let Taylor hate me, Hell most people hate me anyway!” Carl said in an attempt to inject some levity into the situation.

Brian looked over at him and smiled, “Thanks for the offer Carl, but I can’t let you do that. This is my responsibility,” he said.

Carl grunted and made a face, “Correction, it’s now ‘our’ responsibility. I’m the one who’s gonna have to pull a few strings to get the transfer; I might as well see this plan of yours all the way through. No use in both of us taking the heat for this,” he said then added in a more serious tone, “Besides, I figure I got more than one marker I owe you. There’s a particular red head who makes my life a living hell yet at the same time is the reason why I want to get out of bed every day. She’s the love of my life…a love I’d never know if you hadn’t not only introduced us, but gave us your blessing. That woman loves you like her own son, and she respects your opinion. I’m honored that you believed in me enough to trust me with her. This small favor is the least I can do to say thank you,” Carl said, his voice cracking a bit with his emotions.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Jesus fucking Christ Horvath, someone swap your dick for a pussy? Grow some balls and spare me all this lesbianic bullshit. I haven’t had my breakfast yet,” he quipped.

Carl pushed away from him and muttered something under his breath about Brian being a bastard. Brian laughed.

“Ok. You win,” he said. “You can arrange the meeting. But I want to know when, and where. And considering the situation Carl, I would advise you not to let me or Justin near Hobbs without at least 6 armed guards present. I can’t be responsible for how either of us will react to him,” Brian said turning serious.

Carl turned to look at him, “I’m no fucking Rookie Kinney. Leave the details to me. Now get your skinny ass out of here and let me do my job, I’ll call you as soon as I have news,” he said.

Brian nodded his head satisfied and turned to leave.

“Oh and one more thing Kinney,” Carl called out.

Brian turned back around to look at him. Carl grabbed himself between his legs.

“Don’t EVER tell me to grow a pair of balls again. In case you haven’t noticed, these babies are as big as they get,” he said.

Brian pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, “Oh I’ve noticed Chief, I’ve noticed…” he teased.

Carl immediately let go of his crotch and turned red. “Get the fuck out of my office Kinney,” he snarled.

Brian laughed and left the office.

 

PART 3

 

“What a wonderful congregation you have here!” Jennifer exclaimed.

Debbie smiled proudly at her as she taped up another box full of supplies ready to be sent off to soldier’s fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Her church had been sending care packages to the troops since the beginning of the war. Ten years. Ten long fucking years of young boys giving their lives….

“This is such a magnanimous thing you’re doing. Your dedication and commitment over the years is commendable. It makes me embarrass that our church doesn’t do more,” Jennifer continued her praise.

Debbie smiled at her, “We all do what we can,” she said.

Debbie had invited Jennifer to come with her today to help organize the care packages in hopes Claire would show up. She rarely missed ‘packing’ day, as they called it, since the program started. Debbie briefly thought to call her before she left the house earlier but decided against it. It wasn’t like they were friends…well not outside the church anyway. But with in their church community, they were close.

Claire was a fucking fall down mess, Debbie thought ruefully. She had two of the rottenest kids Debbie has ever met, a no good husband who drank too much and an ungrateful mother who demanded more of her time than she had to give. But what fascinated Debbie the most was Claire’s total acceptance with her miserable lot in life. Almost as if she welcomed it…expected it. Yet despite all that wretchedness surrounding her, she still found time to not only attend church, but to do as much charity work as she could. Underneath that ‘mess’, Debbie believed lived a good soul. One that was battered and bruised, but not broken….yet.

Debbie knew of Claire’s hard life because Claire often confided in her. Whatever project Debbie signed up for, Claire volunteered to help with. Debbie suspected she was lonely. She doubted the woman had anyone to talk to. Surely not her wastrel husband or her selfish mother. Debbie wished Brian could be closer to his sister, but for some reason, actually Debbie knew exactly the reason, they weren’t close. Each avoided the other like the plague. Too many memories - all bad. Too many secrets and pain shared between them; neither wanted to face the other and the memories of their past. Apart they could pretend their childhood never happened, together, it was reliving that horror. Yet it was obvious each cared about the other. And they used Debbie as a go between to keep up on the others’ lives.

“Well when I get back home I’m going to talk to our pastor. I love this program you have here and I’m going to petition our church to adopt similar one. We all can be doing more,” Jennifer prattled on as she worked side by side with the red head.

Jennifer really liked Debbie. She was full of life and energy. She had a huge heart and a mouth to match it. The woman was brutally honest to a fault. She wondered if that was a trait she picked up from her surrogate son, Brian, or if he picked it up from her. Aside from that trait however, the two couldn’t be more different than day and night. Where as Brian was cynical, sarcastic and arrogant, Debbie was optimistic, cheerful and very, very loving. She could see where Brian would crave the attention of such a person. Debbie possessed all the qualities that Brian admired and on some level, probably wished he had.

“We’re very fortunate that we have so many wonderful volunteers. I know a lot of organizations would love to do more, but they just don’t have the help. I guess here on Liberty Avenue, Queer central as they call it uptown,” Debbie said with a sneer, “people understand first hand what it’s like to be down trodden and are more willing to led a helping hand to others,” she said.

Jennifer leaned over and whispered in her ear, “We don’t have many open gay members at my church…you know because of the Church’s stance on homosexuality. Your congregation though has a lot of gay members. Doesn’t it bother them that the Catholic Church disavows them?” Jennifer asked.

Debbie snorted loudly, “Of course it does. But in this church, we know that God loves ALL his children. Gay, straight, transsexual, bisexual, transgender, cross-dresser…well you get the picture. Besides, father Tom is gay himself, though you won’t hear him admitting that to the Bishop anytime soon,” she said mischievously with a twinkle in her eye.

Jennifer laughed.

“Oh, hi Deb, sorry I’m late!” A woman’s voice interrupted their conversation. Jennifer turned around to see a slightly plump, but pretty woman standing behind them. There was something familiar about her eyes…

“Claire!” Debbie greeted the woman with a hug.

“Earl just got home. Stinking drunk as usual. I had to drop Johnny off at Mom’s. Thank God she was at least sober tonight,” Claire explained casting a sideward, curious glance in Jennifer’s direction.

“Where’s Peter?” Debbie inquired of her older boy.

Claire made a face, “Out. He’s always out anymore. I’ve no clue where he goes or who he’s with, he won’t talk to me,” she said. Debbie saw she wanted to say more but her gaze kept shifting to Jennifer.

“Claire, this is Jennifer Tucker, she’s a friend of your brothers,” Debbie made the introduction.

Jennifer’s eyes widened. She didn’t know Brian had a sister.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” she said extending her hand.

Claire took it yet looked at Debbie, “She knows Brian?” she asked curiously.

“Yip. She happens to be the mother of your brother’s…” Debbie paused not sure how to explain Brian’s relationship with Sunshine.

“Brian’s what?” Claire asked releasing Jennifer’s hand.

“Your brothers….boyfriend,” Debbie spit out.

Claire actually gasped and put her hand to her throat. “NO!” she said clearly shocked.

Jennifer didn’t know why that little fact caused such a reaction.

Debbie smiled smugly at Claire, “Yes. His boyfriend Claire. And let me tell you, he’s is quite smitten with the young man. I’ve never seen him this way. I know, who would have ever guessed? Well I would actually. I always believed your brother had it in him,” she said.

Claire was clearly astonished at this news, “Are you sure? I mean…I never thought. I hoped, you know that, but never believed….” Claire’s voice trailed off.

Debbie could hear the disappointment in her tone. She knew Claire loved her brother and wished the best for him yet at the same time she was sad that he apparently found something that had eluded her for most her entire life….happiness.

“Well you can believe it. He’s finally happy,” Debbie said then took a calculated risk with her next words, “Shame it won’t last long though. I just hope Sunshine doesn’t get too hurt,” she said shaking her head despondently.

Now it was Jennifer’s turn to look shocked, “Deb, how can you say such a thing!” she asked. True, she too believed that her son and Brian wouldn’t last. Each was too emotionally damaged, but to hear Debbie so callously state it as a fact was unnerving. Debbie was the optimistic one! She should be hopeful that her ‘surrogate’ son’s happiness was not fleeting, not to mention it was extremely insensitive of her to speculate on how hurt her son might get!

“Sorry Jen, but…well let’s just say Brian has…issues,” Debbie said turning to look at Claire. Claire had told her things about their childhood in confidence. She couldn’t break her trust yet she wanted Jennifer to hear about Brian’s childhood and only Claire could tell her.

No one has ever talked to Brian about his past. Debbie knew some of it, from first hand experience of seeing him stumble into her house at all hours of the night beaten and bruised, but Brian never told her what happened to him. When she would confront him about his cuts and bruises he would either lie, or shrug it off as nothing. She only learned of the horrid details much later, through Claire, and she had sworn Debbie to secrecy. Claire certainly never mentioned their childhood to her brother. They had this unspoken agreement that if they never spoke of it, then it never happened. And Michael, well though probably knew much more than Debbie did, he loved Brian to much to hurt him by bringing up old painful memories. To date, as far as Debbie knew, Brian has never talked to anyone about it.

“Sunshine?” Claire interrupted Debbie’s thoughts.

“Oh, sorry. His name is Justin, I nick named him Sunshine because he’s such a bright beautiful young man. He has this blinding smile that should be illegal, and head full of shinny flaxen hair,” Debbie explained.

Claire smiled softly, “He sounds amazing,” she said.

“Deb, what issues does Brian have that will cause him to hurt my son?” Jennifer asked bringing the topic back to her son’s boyfriends, ‘issues’. For better or worse, her son was determined to be with Brian. She’d come to like the man, but really didn’t know that much about him, which was disconcerting to say the least considering she had entrusted her son’s well being into his care. She blindly went along with this plan of his to arrange a meeting with Hobbs. She hoped she hadn’t made a huge mistake in doing so.

Debbie cast her gaze on Claire. Claire backed up and shook her head violently.

“No, Deb, I can’t,” she said instinctively knowing what Debbie wanted of her.

Debbie walked over to her and put her arm around her shoulders, “Honey, I think you should tell Jennifer. Brian is crazy for her son, and we both know sooner or later, he’s going to start doubting whether or not he deserves to be happy. He could end up hurting Justin, who by the way is just as crazy for Brian. Jennifer has a right to know who her son is involved with. As a mother, wouldn’t you want to know? Besides, she might be able to help where neither of us could,” she said.

Debbie knew that even if Claire gave her permission to confront Brian with all that she had told her about their past, he would listen. Debbie was family, and Brian would never burden his family with his troubles. He was hard wired to protect those he cared for. But Jennifer wasn’t family, yet. They were just getting to know each other. If she confronted him about his past then he’d have to listen, if for no other reason than for Justin’s sake. Jennifer was the mother of the man he loved; a fact Brian had yet to admit to anyone, including himself, yet Debbie knew it to be true. Some how that persistent little blond managed to break through Brian’s walls and reach his heart. Debbie didn’t want to see Brian reject that love out of some convoluted thinking that he was ‘unworthy’. She was hoping Jennifer could accomplish what none of them could. Convince Brian that he was worthy of love…most specifically, her son’s love. Now all she had to do was convince Jennifer….

“Ok, you two are starting to scare me. What is it I should know about my son’s boyfriend?” Jennifer demanded getting more nervous by the minute.

Claire sighed in resignation and looked at Debbie, “I really do want him to be happy,” she said.

“I know hon, and I think he can be, but only if he believes he can be. We both know that he won’t be able to do that unless someone convinces him that he’s worthy of being loved. Jennifer can do that. I believe he’ll listen to her. She has no stake in this other than to protect her son. If she believes he’s worthy of her son, knowing the truth of his past, he just might believe it too,” Debbie said.

Jennifer adored Debbie, and she was truly fond of Brian, and grateful to him for all he was doing for Justin, but the woman was delusional if she thought she would approve of their relationship! Even if Brian should be successful in helping Justin heal from his past, it was becoming increasingly clear that Brian had his own set of ‘issues’ that were deep rooted. She doubted the man would be able to give her son the type of ‘loving’ relationship he so deserved.

“I’m sorry Deb, but even though I don’t know the details of Brian’s past, I’ve suspected from the first that he’s had a less than perfect upbringing. He’s too guarded, too cynical. Knowing my suspicions are correct won’t make me think he’s a good match for my son. In fact, it makes me believe that the two of them together is a very bad idea. You see Claire, my boy has his own emotional issues,” she said.

Claire looked curious, and puzzled, “Was your son’s father abusive too?” she asked.

Jennifer flinched. Suspecting, and actually knowing it to be fact, were two different things. Claire just confirmed with her inquiry that Brian’s father was abusive.

“No, but a few years ago he was working undercover at a high school investigating a drug ring when he was brutally attacked by the ring leader. My son was struck repeatedly with a bat, the last blow, to the head, was near fatal….”Jennifer paused at this point to calm her racing heart. She’d never explained it in such detail, to anyone, it felt…odd, “And his lover at the time was the one who set him up to get bashed by exposing his cover to his attacker,” she bravely rushed on, finishing the horrid tale. Ironically, she felt better having spoken of the attack, exposing the naked ugly truth of it. It was like a small pressure valve was turned on inside of her.

Claire gasped, “Oh my God how awful!” she exclaimed.

Jennifer choked up a bit and looked away, “Yes, it was…is,” she said. “Justin still has a hard time trusting,”

Claire approached her and gently laid her hand on her shoulder, “I’m so sorry,” she said.

Jennifer sniffed back a tear and nodded her head, accepting Claire’s comforting gesture, “Thank you. But now that you know, I’m sure you will agree that your brother and my son are not a good match. It would be like the blind, leading the blind,” she said.

Claire tilted her head and studied her, “Perhaps in their case, the blind is the only one who can lead the blind. No one can understand what they’ve been through. I was there during Brian’s abuse, I witnessed it first hand yet I can’t fully comprehend what my brother suffered, and it started at a very young age. There is no way I can relate, but maybe, your son can. Both were betrayed by people who supposedly loved them,” Claire said.

Jennifer looked at her, “How bad was it?” she asked uneasily. For some unfathomable reason, she had to know. Maybe it was her protective instincts as a mother that compelled her to ask the question or maybe it was just morbid curiosity, she didn’t know. All she knew was that this was the man her son had chosen for better or worse…and she feared the worse.

Claire dropped her hand from her shoulder and averted her gaze, “As bad as I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot,” she said.

“Claire volunteered for a while at CPA, that’s child protection agency. The social workers would bring through children who were taken from their homes because of severe abuse, and those were the lucky ones. Many kids never made it to the agency; they went straight from their homes to the morgue. It’s a miracle Brian survived all that he did,” Debbie explained.

Jennifer felt queasy, “Why wasn’t Brian taken from his home?” she asked.

Claire started shaking. Jennifer realized it was because she was crying. “Because he hid it. He feared if they took him away, my father would turn his rage on me and my mother. Our father was a drunk, and….unstable. One time…” Claire shook her head and wiped her eyes, trying to wipe the memory away, but Debbie wasn’t having it.

“Go on Claire, tell her. You can do it, remember, he’s not around to hurt you or your brother anymore,” she encouraged.

Claire took a deep breath and continued, her gaze fixed on the cross hanging on the wall on the other side of the room.

“My father beat us all. No one was spared, but Brian…well he had a special ‘affection’ for Brian. One night, my father was whipping me with the belt because he couldn’t find his blowing ball and my mother told him she’d seen me playing with it earlier. Which was a lie,” Claire laughed out bitterly. Debbie put her hand on her back and rubbed small soothing circles over it. Claire continued, “Didn’t matter though, he was drunk and in a rage. I knew better than to try to defend myself, so I just took it, praying it would stop. He usually tired after a bit. I knew the routine, I’d gotten use to it by then; I was nine.”

Jennifer gasped at her admission, Debbie threw her a stern look; she didn’t want Claire to stop. She turned her attention back to Claire, “Go on honey, tell us what happened?” she encouraged her to continue.

“Brian,” she said. Her tears were falling freely now as shame consumed her. The shame was tangible. It was in her voice, her face, everywhere. Both Debbie and Jennifer could feel it.

“What about Brian?” Jennifer asked, feeling like she was being dragged into the past with the woman, a horrid, tragic past…

“Brian woke up, he was six years old. I tried to be quiet, but my father was screaming at me the whole time, calling me a thief, and a whore… Brian heard him and came running down the stairs. He didn’t think…He just fucking didn’t think!” Claire was getting real distraught at this point. Debbie put both her arms around her shoulders and held her tight.

“It’s ok honey, it’s over now. It’s in the past. Brian is ok, you’re ok. Your father can’t hurt you now,” she said.

Claire looked at her with wild eyes, “Can’t he? The pain he’s inflicted will NEVER go away! I’ll NEVER forget and I can’t imagine that Brian ever will! That night, he turned his rage on Brian. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the beginning of a whole new era of abuse. Brian was no stranger to the beatings, even at the age of six, but he couldn’t stand it anymore. Something in him snapped. He jumped our father and clawed at him, hitting him over and over again with some metal toy car he had in is hand. Oh God, I tried to stop him, but he was out of control,” Claire paused to take a shaky breath. She was having a hard time retelling the events of that night. The images in her head were still so vivid…so real… It was a nightmare she knew she’d never fully awake from.

Neither Debbie nor Jennifer dared speak as the seconds stretched into minutes before Claire spoke again.

“That night my father nearly killed Brian,” she said in a small, grief stricken voice. Jennifer felt moisture on her cheeks from her tears. She looked over at Debbie who had a tight, pained look in her eyes and knew this was the first time she was hearing this particular story.

“He hit him so hard he passed out, and then he threw him down the basement stairs and locked the door,” Claire continued, “And I…ran. I ran, oh God forgive me but I ran I was so frightened. I hid in my closet all night. I didn’t come out until the next morning when my father went off to work. I woke my mother up, who was passed out drunk from the night before…she always drank until she passed out so she wouldn’t have to witness the abuse… and told her what papa did. She found Brian bleeding, curled up in a ball under the basement stairs and took him to the hospital. He had a concussion, two broken ribs and so many bruises and contusions it was grotesque. The people at the hospital immediately suspected abuse and called social services in but Brian was determined not to be taken away. He convinced the workers that he fell down the basement stairs, hitting each step on the way down. He bitched and complained about the pain and cried for his mommy, and it was all an act. An act so convincing, I almost started to believe his story… and I was there! The social workers believed him, but paid us regular visits after that. And for a while things were good. Mom stopped drinking and Papa didn’t bother with us for a long time afterwards, afraid of what he did. Brian doesn’t know this but our mother threatened to turn him in to the authorities if he ever did something like that again. So he left us alone. For nearly 3 years it was peaceful. Cold but peaceful. Then mom started drinking heavily again, and the incident long forgotten. It started slowly. A shove, a slap, and then a punch, the belt…. Only this time the abuse was mainly directed at Brian. Each time my father started in on my mother, or me, Brian would interfere, drawing his attention away from us and onto himself. The black eyes, bruises, broken bones…all returned. Brian always fought back though, he wouldn’t give up but my father was a dockworker. He was big and strong and vile. Brian was no match for him… but that all changed the year he turned 17. Brian was heavily into sports by then and worked out all the time, he was no longer a vulnerable little boy. One day, he came home from school to find our father slapping my mother, screaming at her for drinking all his booze. Brian hauled him off of her and punched him in the face, hard. That day my father had the black eye. For the first time, Brian had hurt him! Papa must have seen something in Brian’s eyes that day that scared him big time because he never lifted a hand to any of us again. Shortly after that Brian moved out. I was already gone by then. I got married early just to get out of the house. Some say it was a mistake,” Claire said turning weepy sad eyes on Debbie. Debbie huffed out her disapproval, “But he got me out of that house. And for that alone, I’ll forever be grateful to Earl,” she said then turned her attention back to Jennifer who was listening with rapt attention, her face frozen in sheer horror at the tale she just heard, her face streaked with tears.

“I’m sorry, I’ve upset you,” she said.

Jennifer had to blink a few times to focus; her eyes were swimming in tears. She sniffed and pulled a handkerchief from her purse to wipe her face clean.

“No, I’m sorry, I’m just…I just wasn’t expecting that. I can’t imagine how you both survived such horrors,” she said.

Claire closed her eyes and shook her head.

“I don’t think I would have survived it at all if it weren’t for my brother,” she said then opened her eyes again to look at Jennifer.

 

“Brian has always taken care of me and Mom when we were living together, and he continues to take care of us. He pays my mothers’ mortgage, and covers her medical bills. He set up a separate checking account for me in my maiden name that Earl doesn’t know about and deposits money into once a month, but it’s all done through his accountant. We’ve rarely seen or spoken to him since he left home. A few years back, my father got cancer. He died a slow agonizing death. I heard Brian went to see him on his deathbed. I have no clue why he would do that, my brother and I don’t talk about him…ever. I’m too ashamed. I should have done something, I should have helped him but I was weak…”

“Now you stop that Claire Winslow! You were a victim. Stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over! There is only one person to blame, your father. And I’m sure that if there is a God in heaven, and I believe there is, that man will be paying heavily for his sins for eternity. Now as for your mother…”

“Deb please, don’t,” Claire stopped her from saying anymore.

For the life of her, Debbie could not understand why Claire and Brian continued to protect their mother when she did nothing to protect them. Especially after what she just heard. She knew it was bad, but she didn’t know how bad it really was. This was the most Claire has ever gone into telling her the details of their abuse.

Jennifer was stunned, to say the least. Shocked that Brian was as well adjusted as he was considering the horrific cruelty he was subjected to. The courage and loyalty he showed at such a young age was nothing short of heroic. To endure such abuse to protect his family was the ultimate act of selflessness. He sacrificed himself for the people he loved. Even though those people, at least his mother as far as Jennifer was concerned, didn’t deserve that kind of devotion.

Debbie was right, Jennifer realized suddenly with such clarity… a man like that was worthy of her son. In fact, Jennifer couldn’t think of a more honorable man. What ever may come, knowing the depths of Brian’s character, one thing she knew for sure was that Brian would do anything to protect her son. Even if that meant protecting him from himself.

 

“Deb is right Claire, you were a victim. You can’t blame yourself,” Jennifer said, though she refrained from saying she didn’t blame her mother. Jennifer, like Debbie, was puzzled as to why both children still cared for their mother considering she failed miserably at caring for them.

“Damn straight,” Debbie said. “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of. You were a kid yourself.”

Claire shook her head, “But I’m not a kid anymore, and yet I don’t have the courage to even talk to him! I just cant’ face him Deb without feeling the guilt. He took so much physical abuse…abuse that was often meant for me!”

Debbie shhh’d her as she was getting riled again, “He wouldn’t listen to you anyway honey, you know this. He’d just shut you down, pretending like it never happened. It’s his way of protecting you still. That’s why I wanted you to tell Jennifer,” she said.

Jennifer narrowed her eyes, “Why me?” she asked.

“Jen, honey, Brian needs for someone to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. You see what Claire won’t tell you, is that while his father was beating him, his mother was telling him he deserved it because he was gay,” she said.

Jennifer gasped, “NO!”

Claire looked away, but kept silent. She couldn’t dispute Debbie.

“Well not in so many words, but it was definitely implied. She told him he was ‘unlovable’ and that having him was a mistake. I think that maybe she had to believe that in order to justify her own negligence. How could she live with herself knowing she let an innocent child, ‘her’ child, suffer a fate that was hers to suffer? She couldn’t, so instead she convinced herself that her son deserved it, and in the process, convinced him as well. She’s not a stable woman Jen; I think that’s partly why her children still care for her. They don’t blame her for her illness. She used the church, and a shit load of booze, to convince herself that her son was paying penance for his sins. Though he never told her, and she never voiced it out loud, she knew her son was gay…A mother always knows,” she said.

Jennifer nodded in agreement. She knew very early on that Justin was gay.

“You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell him how wrong she was, that her ramblings were just that of a very mentally disturbed woman,” Debbie continued, “but I couldn’t. I’m not even supposed to know about it. If I brought it up, he’d just dismiss me. He’s got this thing where he has to protect us all from the ugliness of his life. He won’t talk to any of us about his past abuse. My boy Mikey, his best friend, is probably the only one he might talk to about it but Mikey loves Brian too much to hurt him by bringing up painful memories. Brian trusts him to keep his secrets secret, even from him. So that only leaves you. You’re the logical choice, Justin and I believe that…”

“Justin! My son knows about this?” Jennifer said interrupting Debbie.

“Well, not the specifics, but I told him that Brian was abused as a child, and has never dealt with that fact. We both figured someone needed to talk to him about it and we both figured you’d be the best choice considering you’ve no background with him. But we had to get Claire to tell you about it first since neither of us are suppose to know what happened to him,” Debbie explained.

“You set me up?!” Claire said in an accusing voice.

Debbie had the good grace to look embarrassed, “I’m sorry sweetie, but yeah, I did. I did it for your brother though, and you. Wouldn’t you like to have a relationship with him?” she asked.

Claire’s eyes started tearing again, “You know I would,” she said.

“Well then Jennifer is the only one that might be able to get Brian to open up about his past abuse,” Debbie said.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Jennifer asked in a voice a tad too loud.

“Some would say so, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m right. Listen Jennifer, Brian loves your son. And I think your son loves him too. Don’t you want to see them both happy?” Debbie asked.

“Of course I do, but I can’t possibly bring up something so personal with him! What makes you think he’d listen to me anyway?” Jennifer asked.

“He may not, but it’s worth a try isn’t it? At the very least it will be out in the open. As far as I know, no one has ever mentioned it to him before. Perhaps just laying it on the table that you know may crack something in his armor to get him to open up about it,” Debbie said.

“This is insane! What am I suppose to say, ‘Hey Brian, I heard you were brutally beaten by your father as a child, want to talk about it’?” Jennifer asked incredulously.

“Works for me! You got to admit, its one hell of an ice breaker,” Debbie said.

“Deb, maybe this isn’t a good idea. Brian doesn’t want to talk about it. He’ll be furious with me for telling her,” Claire said.

“At first, maybe. But trust me honey, he’ll thank you later on. He needs to talk about this. He can’t keep it buried forever. What happened to him has molded his outlook on life and love. He’s bitter and cynical. He doesn’t trust anyone to love him…doesn’t believe he’s worthy. Jennifer is possibly the only person that can make him change his mind on that. She can confront him about his past, and force him to see it from a different perspective. From her perspective as a mother, but not just any mother but the mother of the man he loves. Why would she want her son with a man who was unworthy of his love? He just might listen to what she has to say on the matter. And then maybe, just maybe he might start to believe he is worthy of love. But then maybe you’re right. Maybe it will backfire and he’ll be pissed as Hell at all of us…but isn’t it worth the risk?” Debbie asked.

Claire looked skeptical, Jennifer looked horrified. How could she do this? It wasn’t her place! Why would he listen to her? She shuddered to think of his reaction to her interfering in such a personal matter. This was such a bad idea but then….then she thought about what he was doing for her son; risking having Justin hate him by setting him up to face his own demons…his past…so that he could heal, and free himself from the pain he still harbored. And when she thought of that, his selfless act on her son’s behalf, she wondered how could she not do this for him? He might hate her but he might also ‘hear’ her, like Debbie said, and maybe it would be a beginning to his healing. Yes, she decided, it was a crazy ridiculous idea but one she was going to entertain.

“Ok, I’ll do it,” Jennifer said.

Both ladies looked at her in shock.

“You’ll do it?” Deb asked.

“Yes, I’ll do it. But on one condition,” Jennifer said.

“What’s that?” Debbie asked.

“If I go down, you’re both going down with me. I’ve never faced the man’s wrath but I suspect it’s something I don’t want to ever experience. This goes bad, and I’m squealing like a pig that this was both your ideas,” Jennifer said.

Claire looked at her dumbfounded, Debbie took a minute to get over her shock then threw back her had and laughed heartily.

“Why Jennifer Tucker, who would have guessed such a proper bred country club socialite like yourself had so much ‘street’ in her,” she said.

Jennifer blushed and picked up another box of supplies to tape up, “Never judge a book by its cover ladies. I may look fragile, but I can scrap with the best of them. Where do you think Justin gets his gumption from?” she asked cheekily.

“Obviously from his beautiful lethal mother!” Debbie said laughing, “Remind me never to get on your bad side,” she joked as she and Claire started packing up boxes along side Jennifer.

Jennifer paused for a minute and gave Debbie a sideward glance, “For the record, I’d consider myself very lucky to have you on my side in any situation. You’re a wonderful rare woman Debbie Novotny…both your boys are very lucky to have you as their mother,” she said with all sincerity.

Debbie just nodded at the compliment and resumed her work. She had many doubts about what they were doing, but there was one thing she had NO doubt about…no two boys…um young men…ever had more loving mothers watching over them….

 

PART 4

Later that night at the loft…

 

“Yoooo Sunshine, your partner is home!” Brian called out into the still loft.

 

Justin languidly sauntered down from the bedroom; a loosely wrapped towel hung from his slim hips… perfect porcelain skin glistened, still damp from the shower; wet tousled hair clung haphazardly about his face and neck... Brian thought he never looked sexier. A pang of longing seared his heart. …

Justin shot him a seductive look, “Hmmm….someone’s been drinking,” he said walking towards his lover.

Brian carried a ½ empty bottle of whiskey in his left hand. It was late; he’d been drinking since he left the office several hours ago. His first stop had been to Woody’s but his stay there didn’t last long due to the endless parade of tricks interrupting his drinking. Unfortunately for them, the only one he wanted talk to at the time was Nick, the bartender. However, he was denied that pleasure by the leeches pawing at him…God he hated being so beautiful at times…wait, fuck he must be drunk if he just thought that… so he left Woody’s and hit the liquor store where he purchased a bottle of Jim Beam to keep him company on his ride home.

He had a lot on his mind that needed erasing….drink it, drug it, or fuck it away, whatever works,. His tried and true methods instinctively kicked in. His meeting with Carl that morning laid heavy on his mind. So much was at stake…he was never more uncertain of anything. This was the first time in a long time he was depending solely on his instincts and he prayed they wouldn’t fail him now. But he couldn’t think of that. He couldn’t think of anything…it was too much. Maybe he’d give Anita a call. The booze wasn’t doing it for him. But first, there was one hot blond in front of him that he needed to fuck senseless.

He leered salaciously at Justin and leaped up on to the ottoman in front of him.

“Why don’t you join me,” he suggested.

Justin looked up at him and laughed.

“Are we celebrating something?” he asked.

Brian tipped the bottle back and took a long swig; he then leaned over and placed his mouth over Justin’s, letting the burning liquid spill into his mouth. Justin opened up and swallowed, but was unprepared for the offering and most of the whiskey ran down his chest. Brian jumped down off the ottoman and started licking the sticky liquor from his skin. Justin made a half growling half purring sound deep in his throat.

“Keep that up and I’ll need another shower,” he said.

“I like you like this, naked and reeking of alcohol. There’s something so deliciously low about it,” Brian said as he continued to lick Justin’s hot whiskey soaked skin, pulling the towel away as he did so.

Justin watched with lust filled eyes as Brian moved his mouth down over his stomach to the base of his cock before licking his way back up his now engorged member. He paused for a second and tilted the bottle that he still held in his hand over Justin’s cock, drowning it in the harsh liquid. Justin’s cock jerked in response. Brian then placed the bottle on the ottoman and proceeded to lap the whisky from his cock and balls, using his tongue to fuck his slit for a few blissful agonizing seconds before enveloping the head in his mouth. He grabbed his hips then paused to look up at Justin with smoldering eyes before swallowing him whole.

Justin threw his head back at the sensation.

“Jesus fuck!” he hissed out through gritted teeth. The move was hot has fuck; pure scorching flames of ecstasy raced through his veins. His legs turned to jelly. Brian felt him wobbling and pulled him to the floor, never once releasing his cock from his demanding mouth. Justin gasped and moved beneath him, humping his hips upwards, fucking Brian’s mouth. Brian went crazy and devoured him, sucking and licking like a starving man. The blowjob was so intense; it wasn’t long before Justin was shooting hot streams of cum down Brian’s throat. Brian drank it all down, refusing to release him until he sucked every last drop from him. When he was satisfied he’d drained him dry, he raised his head. His eyes raked his blonds’ quivering body with great satisfaction. He reclaimed the bottle of Beam he placed on the ottoman and took a long drink.

Justin watched him through hooded lids. He was still panting from the intense orgasm as he lifted himself up on his elbows.

“Mind telling me what the fuck that was about?” he asked.

Brian laughed caustically, “I just gave you an amazing blowjob and you’re fucking complaining?” he asked incredulously as he stood up.

Justin grabbed the discarded towel from the floor and wrapped it back around his waist as he rose from the floor. “I’m not complaining, it was fucking great, but that still doesn’t answer my question. What the fuck was that about Brian!? You think I didn’t feel that?! You’re upset. Why? Talk to me.”

Brian looked at him and snarled…‘that’s right Kinney, revert back to tried and true methods. When feeling vulnerable…attack….you’re going to lose him anyway…’

“What are you my fucking therapist now?” he snapped.

Justin’s snorted, “I wouldn’t wish you on any shrink. You’d drive them crazy,” he grumbled.

Brian saluted him with his bottle of Beam.

“I certainly would Sunshine. I’d drive them crazy with my cock up their ass…Then I’d bill them for my services,” he said then tipped the bottle back once more and finished it off.

Justin never saw Brian drink this much. Not even when Mark and Conrad showed back up in his life. Something had happened, and Justin was growing more and more worried by the moment. Had he found out that Deb had talked to him about his childhood? It would explain his dark mood, or had something else happened? It couldn’t be his mother. He knew for a fact they were getting along great these days. Maybe it was Conrad…he had heard he and Mark were still in town. But it couldn’t be Conrad; Brian would have told him if he had another run in with the man. Then what the fuck could have happened!? Justin was driving himself crazy with his run away thoughts.

“Fuck Brian just tell me! What happened?” Justin asked.

Brian threw the empty bottle of Beam in the trash then opened his kitchen cabinets and pulled down another bottle.

“Stop being such a drama queen. Nothing happened. Can’t a man just enjoy getting drunk once in awhile without there being any fucking ‘rhyme' or 'reason' to it?” he said cracking open the fresh bottle of Beam.

Justin continued to stare at him, trying to figure out what triggered this mood.

“You’re already past drunk, you’re on you’re way to being shit faced,” he said.

Brian paused and stared at him, “You’re right. I need to mellow out. Where’s my stash?” he said.

Justin rolled his eyes, “I sometimes wonder if there’s any vices you don’t indulge in,” he said.

Brian threw him a patronizing look, “Is that censure I hear in your voice Sunshine?” he drawled out sarcastically.

Justin shook his head, “No, just concern,” he answered truthfully.

Brian laughed.

“Well save your concern. I have it on good authority I’m going to Hell no matter what I do, that is unless Satan puts a restraining order on me first,” he said punctuating his proclamation by taking a long drink of the newly opened bottle of whisky. He then did the unthinkable. Something that shocked Justin to his core... He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his fifteen hundred dollar Armani Collezioni sport Jacket.

Justin grimaced at the act. It was so uncharacteristic of Brian. The man worshipped his clothes more than most people worshiped their Deities. Be they from above or below.

“Hmmm…Well it wouldn’t surprise me if he already has that restraining order or made some kind of deal with God to keep you as far away from him as possible. No one said the devil was stupid. He’d be afraid you’d stage a coup if you were to ever show up in his fiery domain. Redecorating would be a bitch though,” he bantered back.

Brian smirked in appreciation of the retort.

“Touché’ Sunshine, though red ‘is’ my color,” he said.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough? You’ve resorted to using your designer jacket as a spit rag,” Justin commented having had enough of Brian’s antics.

 

Brian huffed out a short, caustic laugh.

“First, it’s my fucking Jacket, I’ll use it as a cum rag if I want. Second, it’s not your fucking business how much I drink. You’re not my mother,” he bit out cruelly.

Justin tilted his head and studied him for a moment.

“Which mother are you referring to Debbie, or….Joan,” he said knowing he was threading in very dangerous waters. He had no idea why he ventured there, well he did…that fucking impulsive, reckless nature of his…but now that he was here, he couldn’t turn back.

Brian’s body stilled. He methodically replaced the cap on the bottle and placed it on the kitchen counter. Justin’s whole body went on alert.

“What the fuck would you know about Joan?” Brian asked in a dangerously calm voice.

Justin walked over to the counter and placed his hands on it.

“I know as much about her as you know about Hobbs!” he hissed at him.

Brian’s eyes widened.

Justin’s smirk bordered on a sneer.

“You think I don’t know what you’ve been trying to do this past week? Fucking me senseless then trying to get me to open up about Hobbs? I’m blond Brian, but don’t EVER mistake me for being stupid! Though I love having your cock up my ass, in my mouth and anywhere else you’d like to put it, I DON’T like being fucked by you!” he said.

All week Brian had been trying to get him to talk about Hobbs. It was a topic Justin did NOT want to discuss. Perhaps that was the reason why Brian was in such a foul mood tonight, but Justin didn’t give a fuck. He had no right to be mad when he refused to even acknowledge he had any life before the age of 17! He was being a hypocrite. Oh, Brian was more than willing to dig into his psyche about his feelings for Hobbs, but when Justin asked him anything about his childhood, pre high school, Brian closed up tighter than a nun’s cunt. It infuriated Justin. But he let it go. However, now that he opened that Pandora’s Box, he wasn’t about to shut it, or turn away from it.

Brian’s face became a mask of rage. Justin braced himself seeing that he was about to explode. Brian growled out his frustration as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the counter and flung it across the room. It hit the wooden beam in the living area and splintered into a million pieces. Dark brown liquid and glass sprayed everywhere.

“Fuck you!” Brian leaned over and screamed into Justin’s face.

“No Brian, FUCK you! You want me to talk about Hobbs, fine! You fucking tell me why apparently, you never existed before the age of 17! I know you had parents. Unless all those bio classes I took were wrong, I assume you were conceived in the ‘normal’ way. I doubt you were hatched, or dropped off by aliens. Though I could be wrong, you are freakishly inhuman at times!” Justin shouted at him.

He knew he was being cruel, and he really didn’t know why except for the fact it hurt him that Brian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about his childhood. Brian knew all about his past! He hid nothing from Brian. True…he didn’t want to talk about his feelings for Hobbs because…well because Justin had no feelings for the man. He never thought of him, but he did tell Brian about him. Brian refused to even mention his mother’s or father’s name.

“Inhuman? Is that what I am?” Brian laughed caustically, “Well might as well add that to the list,” he said walking around the counter, and away from Justin.

Justin mentally cursed himself, ‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ he JUST had this conversation with Debbie. He knew how his mother berated him, calling him all sorts of names, saying he was an abomination to nature, and now he inadvertently goes and says the same thing. Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue. Couples often said mean things when arguing, neither really meaning them, but in Brian’s case, it was taboo, and Justin knew it. He should have known better. At that moment, he couldn’t hate himself more.

“Brian…” Justin called out to his retreating form, hoping to correct his inexcusable faux pas.

Brian stopped, but didn’t turn around, “No Justin, don’t. You’re right, I am inhuman,” he said.

Justin’s heart broke into a million pieces.

“Yeah, you are Brian. You’re fucking superman. Just ask Mikey,” he said in a light voice he knew Brian would respond to. He was right, he saw Brian’s shoulders relax a little and he could ‘feel’ the smile spread across Brian’s face at the mention of his friends unnatural hero worshiping of him.

“Yeah, well Mikey’s a freak,” Brian said.

Justin laughed.

“True, but a freak that loves you. And he’s not wrong. Don’t you know I see you that way too? As does just about everyone who loves you. Not least of all, Gus. To us, you are inhuman…you’re super-human. You’re braver, smarter, and stronger in so many ways than most people. You’ve accomplished things mere mortals only dream of accomplishing. Yet you can’t accept that about yourself, can you? Why?” he asked.

Brian bit out a caustic laugh.

“Because it’s bullshit,” he said then turned to face Justin.

“Now if you’re finished with this fucking Polly Anna rendition of who you think I am, then I’m going out,” he said.

Justin wanted to smack him. God he could be so infuriating! This wasn’t the first time he’d try to say something nice to him and be ridiculed or dismissed for doing so. Well Justin had enough of his bullshit.

“Why don’t you talk to your mother?” Justin asked deciding to throw all caution to the wind.

Brian stared at him with this shocked look on his face. He couldn’t believe the twat actually had the nerve to ask him that! NO one dared talked to him about his relationship with Joan! They knew better, and Justin should know better too. The mere fact that he never mentioned her, or his father, should have been a clear indication that they were NOT up for discussion! And how the fuck did they get on this topic anyway?! Was he that drunk? Did he miss something?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Where the fuck did that come from? Why are we even talking about this?” Brian asked totally confused as to how they went from an amazing blowjob to talking about Joan of all fucking people!

Justin huffed out a frustrated breath.

“We’re talking about this because you came home drunker than I’ve ever seen you, obviously upset over something,” he said.

“And you think my getting drunk has something to do with Joan?” Brian asked.

“Arrgghhh! No! I think you’re drunk because you’re frustrated that I won’t talk about Hobbs! Which you’ve been trying to get me to do all week! For some reason, you’ve got it in your head I need to talk about fucking Hobbs! Do you know why I don’t talk about my ‘feelings’ for Hobbs?” Justin asked, he was verging on losing is temper big time.

Brian was more fucking confused than ever.

“Enlighten me,” he said.

“BECAUSE I HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR HOBBS!!!” Justin yelled in frustration.

“But you don’t get that do you? You, like my mother….” Justin paused, a light bulb going on in his head, “why you son of a bitch! You’ve been conspiring with my mother haven’t you?” he demanded.

Brian started to say something but Justin cut him off.

“Don’t you dare fucking deny it! She’s been hinting for months now that I seek professional help. She thinks I still have unresolved issues over the bashing,” he said.

“Well don’t you?” Brian challenged.

“NO! I don’t! Hobbs is behind bars. Period. He ratted me out, and now he’s paying the price. I told you before Brian, I could NEVER carry that around with me. It’s done. What good would it do me to talk about how he…he…” Justin couldn’t finish his sentence. His face was red, his temper high. Brian came around from behind the counter and reached out to him. Justin backed up.

“No, don’t,” he said.

Brian took a deep breath, he was quickly sobering up.

“Justin, your mother did talk to me about her concerns, but that’s not why I’ve been trying to get you to open up about Hobbs. I’ve been doing that because I think she’s right to be concerned. Since you got here you’ve been needlessly taking risks. This last assignment nearly got you killed because you were reckless. And your mother tells me that you’ve been acting irrationally for some time now. She says you weren’t this way before the attack. I believe her, just from what I’ve seen. It’s like you got this need to prove something. To prove you’re not vulnerable, and you do that by taking risks, putting yourself in danger…I don’t even think you realize what you’re doing,” Brian said.

Justin let out a small hysterical laugh.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re going to analyze ME? You who can’t even mention his mother or father’s name, no less acknowledge they exist?” Justin shot back.

Brian threw his hands up in the air.

“Again we’re back to Joan! How the fuck does she fit into this?” he asked.

“She is YOUR Hobbs!” Justin said.

Brian stumbled back as if Justin slapped him. Joan was his Hobbs? No! That was ridiculous! Their situations were entirely different! Hobbs was a homicidal maniac! What he did could have gotten Justin killed! True, he didn’t swing the bat himself, but he was responsible just the same!

‘Your mother never hit you either, yet she stood by while your father nearly killed you, many times...’ the unwelcome thought entered is head.

“Fuck this,” he said. His brain was on overload; he felt a huge migraine coming on.

“Now you know how I feel when you try to get me to talk about Hobbs. Doesn’t feel good does it? And why the fuck would we want to cause ourselves more pain than what we’ve already been subjected to?” Justin asked in all sincerity.

He was starting to doubt his and Debbie’s plan to get his mother to talk to Brian about his past abuse. He could see now how painful it was for him, but more importantly, he knew how painful it was. They were doing fine. So what if they were both a bit fucked up? Who wasn’t? They found each other, and they were a perfect match. Perfect in the fact that they were equally damaged. And he could live with that.

Justin walked up to Brian and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him in tight and hugging him fiercely.

“I love you,” he said.

Brian choked on his emotion.

“NOW you think I’m ready to hear this?” he said referring to their conversation in his office some time ago where Justin said he would tell Brian he loved it when Brian was ready to hear it.

Justin hugged him tighter.

“I didn’t say I’d tell you I love when you were ready to hear it, I said I’d tell you when it wasn’t an issue for you anymore,” he corrected.

“I swear to God Justin you are going to drive me fucking insane! And why, pray tell, do you think now, of all times, it’s not an issue for me?” he asked.

Justin looked up at him, yet kept his hold on him firm.

“Because we’re burying all ‘issues’, right here and now. Your past, my past….and whatever affects it’s had on us, is no longer of relevance. We have each other. We’re not perfect, but we’re perfect for each other. No more talks of Hobbs, or your parents. From now on, we look forward and to Hell with them,” Justin said.

Brian’s smile nearly rivaled the brilliance of his blond.

“Why Sunshine, that’s the first thing you’ve said all evening that I totally agree with!” he said lifting Justin off the ground and smashed his mouth against his.

He felt like the weight of the world was just lifted from his shoulders. His blond was right, they would put the past behind them once and for all. He’d call Carl in the morning and tell him to cancel the transfer request. Let Hobbs fucking rot in NY, Brian didn’t want him anywhere near Justin now. They’d be fine, as long as they had each other. He didn’t want to risk losing what they had. He knew deep in his heart he’d never find this kind of happiness again, and being the selfish prick that he was he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it. He’d do whatever Justin wanted. After all, when it came down to it, they were the only ones who controlled their destinies. Not treacherous ex boyfriends or abusive fucked up parents. They controlled their own destines…

Justin kissed him back fervently. They fumbled their way into the bedroom where they each took extraordinary effort to erase the painful memories of the last few hours…days…years, and replace them with new, happier memories of their newfound love… A love that was unique…unconventional and undefined…just like them.

Several hours later, as they laid in their post coital haze events were already in motion that would threaten their pact to leave the past exactly where it belong, behind them...

As destiny would have it, both their pasts were about to collide with their present, and perhaps, affect their future.


	17. Chapter 17

“No Gus honey, put that down,” Lindsey gently scolded her son.

Gus pouted a bit then put the toy remote control car he was holding in his hand back on the shelf.

“Lins, it’s fine,” Michael said.

“But it’s too expensive!” Lindsey protested.

Michael gave her a doubtful look. As if anything was too expensive in the Big Q, he thought. Gus’s birthday party was this Saturday; unfortunately Michael wasn’t going to be in town for it. Ben had a seminar he had to attend in Vegas and they decided to mix business and pleasure and have a little vacation. He had promised Gus to take him shopping for his birthday gift before he left.

“Linds, it’s NOT too expensive! I told Gus he could pick out anything he wanted, and I meant it. Don’t make me look like a liar,” Michael insisted.

He felt guilty that he was going to miss the party. Brian was going all out this year. He had rented the children’s emporium for the day. The place had everything a child could wish for; an arts and craft station, a fun house, a mini aquarium, an arcade, bouncy bounce, and a play gym. Brian even hired a magician for entertainment. Michael was sure Gus wouldn’t miss him in all the excitement, but he still wanted to get the boy something special to make up for missing his party.

“Well if you’re sure,” Lindsey wavered.

“Of course I’m sure! Besides, Brian would LOVE playing with that!” Michael said.

He and Lindsey exchanged knowing looks then started laughing. It was a not-so-well kept secret that Brian loved playing with toys, though he’d cut his tongue out before he’d ever admit it. But all one had to do was watch him play with his son and they’d know. He enjoyed the toys and playing as much as Gus did. It was no wonder he had such a special relationship with his son. In many ways, they related on the same level. Michael supposed it was because Brian never had a ‘normal’ childhood. Between all the beatings, he doubted there was any time to play with toys…

“Can I have it Mom, please, can I?!” Gus asked enthusiastically seeing an opening to getting what he wanted.

“Well if your Uncle Michael insists,” Lindsey finally relented.

Gus squealed out his joy as he jumped up and down in his excitement, “Thank you so much Mom!”

“Thank your Uncle Michael,” Lindsey said.

Gus turned to his Uncle Michael and grabbed him around the waist tightly, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he chanted over and over.

Michael was laughing and hugging Gus back when a woman’s voice from behind him called his name, sending chills down his spine.

“Michael Novotny, is that you?”

Michael turned around to face the woman, trying desperately not to let his disdain show on his face.

“Hello Mrs. Kinney,” he greeted her coldly.

Lindsey’s eyes widened in surprise. She’d never met Brian’s mother. His biological family was off limits to them. He never spoke of them and made it perfectly clear that his son was never to have any contact with them. Lindsey had heard the rumors of Brian’s abusive childhood, but she’d never confronted him about it. She never dared. There were certain things in life you just knew better than to foolishly attempt and messing around in Brian Kinney’s past was one of them.

Joan’s eyes shifted from Michael, to Lindsey then down to the little boy clutching Michael.

“Is that your son?” she asked her eyes widening in what Michael would describe as shock, mixed with recognition.

“No Mrs. Kinney, this is my friends’ Lindsey’s son,” Michael said careful not to let on that Gus was her son’s, son. He doubted Brian ever told his mother he had a child, though there was no denying the uncanny resemblance to the Kinney clan. He knew Joan saw it too; it was in her eyes.

Lindsey took the cue and acted her part.

“Nice to make your acquaintance Mrs. Kinney,” she greeted politely; her WASP upbringing kicking in, “I’m Lindsey Peterson, Michael’s friend,” she said, yet refused to introduce her son.

“Mommy, she has the same last name as me and daddy!” Gus said making his presence known.

Joan, to her credit, simply raised a brow in response.

“Your last name is Kinney?” she asked, directing the question to Gus.

“We really have to go now,” Lindsey said as she tried to pull Gus away in an attempt to diffuse a potential disaster, but the boy wasn’t having it. He faced the woman, hands on hips, assuming an arrogant stance. It was a total Kinney move.

“Yes ma’am! I’m Gus Peterson-Marcus-Kinney. My daddy’s name is Brian Kinney! And he’s a big time dick-tek-tive!” he boasted.

Michael groaned, Lindsey wished she could melt into the floor and Joan stared, unmoving at the child.

“We really do have to get going Mrs. Kinney,” Michael took control of the situation and placed himself between Joan and Gus, blocking her view of him.

Joan’s eyes shot up to meet his.

“How is this possible?” she asked and Michael was at once enraged and full of pity for this woman.

“Your son is still a man Mrs. Kinney, no matter what you may think, or…” Michael leaned in so Gus wouldn’t hear this part, “how hard your husband tried to beat it out of him,” he said in a voice filled with so much disgust Joan recoiled from it.

“Well I have a right…”

“You have NO rights!” Michael shouted. He was outraged…he couldn’t believe her gall! He had to calm himself before he caused a scene. He picked Gus up and grabbed Lindsey by her arm.

“We’re leaving, now,” he said then turned to leave, taking Lindsey and Gus with him.

Gus watched the old woman from over his Uncle Michael’s shoulder as he was carried away. He didn’t like her. She made his Uncle Michael mad. Daddy wasn’t going to like it either when he told him, he thought. She stole Daddy’s and his name!

The woman raised her hand to wave at him with this strange look in her eyes. Gus may have been young, but his instincts were sharp. She was staring at him as if he was someone else. It confused and scared him.

No, he did not like this woman at all. He grabbed on to his Uncle Michael tighter and threw her a defiant look. Then in a departing gesture of his own, Gus stuck his tongue out at her.

 

Part 2

 

“Sweet baby Jesus the Heavens are raining Angels upon us!” Kiki squealed, injuring more than one ear in the diner, as she spied Justin walk through the door.

Justin laughed and opened his arms out for her, knowing she was going to maul him anyway. He was kind of enjoying the mini crush the drag queen had on him.

Kiki took his invitation enthusiastically and pulled him in for a big hug heedless of the prying eyes around them.

“Oh for fuck sakes, what are you two like BFF’s now? If I remember correctly not too long ago you were jerking off into his milkshake,” Debbie’s voice coldly washed over them.

Kiki pulled away and scowled at the red head.

“That’s ancient history! And it was before I knew who he was! Besides, he’s forgiven me, haven’t you honey?” she asked.

“Of course I have, it’s hard to hold a grudge against a queen with a ten inch cock,” Justin teased then kissed Kiki on the cheek.

“I swear to God that Kinney has a big mouth!” she said.

“What I’d like to know is how the fuck does he know you have a ten inch cock?” Debbie inquired.

Kiki blushed six shades of red, “A woman has her secrets,” she said.

“Realllly?” Debbie and Justin both voiced the question with equal unabashed curiosity.

“Nice try, but I’ll never tell. Not even if you put me on the rack,” Kiki said.

Debbie snorted, “You’d fucking love the rack. Everyone knows Kiki is code for ‘Kinky’!” She said.

Justin was enjoying the banter between the two. He really, really liked this diner.

“You’re a mean woman Debbie Novotny! I would hate you if it weren’t for the fact that I know you’re just jealous,” Kiki said.

Debbie laughed.

“Yeah, well you might be right, but not as jealous as table four is gonna get if you continue to molest Sunshine here instead of serving them their Pink plate special which is up and getting cold,” she predicted.

“Shit! They’re good tippers too! Sorry handsome, but money trumps beauty when the rent is due!” Kiki said then rushed off to serve her customers.

Justin and Debbie smiled at her retreating form.

“Do you think she and Brian….?” Justin let the question hang in the air between them as they both watched the drag queen work her charms on her customers.

“It’s just one of those mysteries we’ll never solve Sunshine,” Debbie said shaking her head.

Justin sighed.

“You’re probably right,” he said then turned his attention back to the red head, “You got a minute Deb?” he asked.

“Sure Sunshine. I’m due for a break. Hey Kiki! Cover for me, I’m taking five!” she yelled across the diner.

Kiki waved at her to take all the time she needed then proceeded to flirt with her customers. Debbie grabbed two cups of coffee and led Justin over to the small table by the window.

“What’s up Sunshine?” she asked taking a sip of the strong brew.

“Brian and I talked last night,” he said.

Debbie nearly choked on her coffee.

“No shit! Did you two talk about his childhood?” she asked.

Justin took a sip of his coffee before he answered. He knew Debbie wasn’t going to approve of their decision, but it was theirs to make. She and everyone else in the family would have to respect it.

“Not exactly, but he did acknowledge that it was traumatic, and best left in the past,” he said.

Debbie snorted. “Bullshit. What’s best is for him to open up about it! Just like we planned,” she insisted.

Justin put his cup down, “No Debbie, it’s not best. Brian and I both agreed that we’re going to put our pasts behind us, and move forward, together,” he said firmly. His voice brooked no argument.

Debbie looked at him warily.

“Where the fuck is this coming from? Just the other day we agreed that he ain’t never gonna have a chance for a normal relationship as long as he’s carrying all that shit that happened to him as a child around,” she said.

“And that’s just it Debbie, we know that. We know our relationship isn’t ‘normal’, and never will be. We’re both fucked up, but we’re the right amount of fucked up for each other. Let’s just leave it at that, ok Deb? Please, I’m asking you to respect our decision on this, and PLEASE do not tell Brian what we were planning! It would have been a total disaster to have my mother try to get him to talk about his past! Believe me, after last night, I can tell you one thing for sure; he is NEVER going to open up about it. Not to me, you, my mother or anyone…” Justin said.

Debbie bit her bottom lip and cursed, “Well Sunshine, I think we may have a problem then,” she said.

Justin narrowed his eyes, “What problem?” he asked.

“Your mother met Claire last night,” she said nervously.

“Whoa…What?! How the fuck did that happen so fast?” Justin asked, his voice sounding alarmed and accusatory.

Debbie cringed, “Well don’t get your panties in a twist now! The opportunity arose and I took it! My church runs this program that puts together care packages to send to our troupes. We collect goods from the community then meet at the end of the month to pack the shit up and ship it out. Last night was ‘packing’ night. I’m a volunteer and asked your mother to join me. Claire showed up. Purely coincidence! I didn’t ask her to come, I swear! Not my fault she volunteers for the same causes I do,” she said.

Justin raised his brow skeptically at her.

Deb ignored him and continued, “Well anyway, she was there and she laid some heavy shit…on us both. She told Jen things I didn’t even know about! I thought about what we talked about and suggested to your mother that she try to talk to Brian about his past, and his parents. You know, like we discussed. I told her it might help him to relate to his relationship with and her. She agreed thinking it couldn’t hurt. Hell, as far as I knew, this is what you wanted! But don’t worry, it was just last night. We’ve got plenty of time to stop…..”

Just then the diner door swung open and Jennifer walked in.

Debbie sighed in relief, “See, no harm done…yet,” she said then waved Jennifer over.

Jennifer walked over to the table; Justin rose and pulled a chair out for her.

“Hey Mom, I didn’t expect to see you here. Did you come straight from the Hotel?” he asked anxiously.

 

Jennifer placed a kiss on his cheek before lowering herself into the offered seat.

“Yes, I did. I had called Brian this morning to ask him to breakfast but he had some kind of emergency,” she said.

Justin breathed out a sigh of relief. He was glad his mother hadn’t had a chance to talk to Brian yet, but he wondered what the emergency was. It had only been a few hours since he last spoke to him. Justin was sure Brian would have called him if it had been a ‘real’ emergency. He shook off the odd feeling he had and confronted his mother.

“Well I’m sorry you two couldn’t do breakfast, but I’m glad you didn’t get a chance to talk to him. Deb told me what happened last night, and that she told you what I…what we wanted you to do. But things have changed since last night. I told Deb and now I’m telling you, I don’t want you talking to Brian about his past. I know it was my idea to begin with, but we had a long discussion last night and we both decided to deal with things privately, and in our own way,” Justin said.

Jennifer frowned, “Honey, do you think that’s wise? After what Claire told me last night…”

Justin put his hand up interrupting his mother, “I know all about last night and what Claire told you. And I’m sorry I got you and Deb involved. But please, I’m asking both of you, leave it be. We’ll be fine,” he said.

Jennifer bit her bottom lip nervously. She was in the uncomfortable position of being in the middle of her son and his lover. Justin knew nothing about Brian’s plans to make him face his past by bringing Hobbs’s here, to Pittsburgh, and Brian had no idea about Justin’s plans to use her to make him confront his own past. It was a big mess. One she was too deeply entrenched in. Now Justin was asking her to but out. But could she? After what she heard last night could she in good conscious not talk to the man about it? He was in obvious pain…how could he not be? She still shivered inwardly when she recalled the horrible tales Claire told them last night of Brian’s abuse. And she suspected there was more she wasn’t telling. She felt compelled to try and help him, but truth was, his past wasn’t her business. She had no right interfering. However her son was her business and his life would be affect by Brian’s.

Someone needed to step up and brave talking to Brian about his childhood abuse, and if not her, then who? Her son couldn’t, he couldn’t face his own traumatic past. How could he ask Brian face his when he was unwilling to break free from his own? Certainly not his adopted family, they were too afraid of losing him. That only left her…and it was the least she could do considering all he was sacrificing for her son.

As if that weren’t enough drama for her to be immersed in, there was the other side of this convoluted controversial coin… How could she ask Brian to stop their plans to bring Hobbs here for Justin to confront? Her son’s pain was just as prevalent, if not more, as Brian’s. Confronting Hobbs would force him to at least acknowledge his pain. From there, he had a chance, a very good chance of healing and moving forward. Though she feared it might be without Brian…or her. He would surely resent the both of them. Still, if it meant true healing for her son she was willing to risk losing him. And she knew Brian was too.

She never felt so helpless in her whole life, or afraid. For the first time she was conflicted on how to best help her son. The only thing she did know was that doing nothing wasn’t an option. Whatever consequences may come, she had to act. And unfortunately, she had a strong feeling that the only action she could take was to stick with the original plans…Both her son’s and Brian’s.

“Well then, if you insist, then Deb and I will respect your wishes,” the lie nearly choked Jennifer, yet she schooled her features to remain impassive.

Debbie threw her a speculative look.

“Um, sure Sunshine. Whatever you want. We just want you to be happy,” she agreed.

Justin nodded his head, satisfied that he averted a potential disaster. Things were going to be fine, he thought to himself. Just fine…

“Well now that, that’s settled, how about I take you two ladies out for Dinner tonight? My way of saying thank you and how much I love you both for caring so much,” he said.

Debbie and Jennifer quickly took him up on his offer and the conversation turned towards more pleasant things. Like Gus’s up coming birthday party. Debbie excused herself after a bit to get back to work, throwing Jennifer a knowing look as she rose to leave.

She didn’t know the woman long, but she knew one thing about the woman, she loved her son. And as a mother herself, she knew she’d do anything for her son, even if it meant lying to him. There was no way, Debbie thought, that Jennifer was just going to let this go. She was going to do the right thing. The right thing however, might cost them all everything…

 

Part 3

 

“Hey Chief, we got a problem with that request you put in this morning,” officer Kendal shouted from Carl’s office door.

Carl looked up at him, “What’s the problem? I told you to have that transfer request cancelled! What fucking moron couldn’t handle that?” he said in his normal gruff tone.

Brian had called him earlier and asked him to nix his request to have Hobbs transferred to the Pits correctional facility. Carl was more than happy to oblige him. He had doubts about the whole thing from the start. Though he’d already put the request in last night, he had immediately ordered to have it cancelled the moment he hung up with Brian this morning. There shouldn’t have been any problem. Even if the transfer request form went out, it took nothing to pick up a phone and call clerical and ask them to scratch it. Paperwork like that took forever to get through anyway.

“The request couldn’t get cancelled cause it wasn’t valid in the first place,” Kendal said.

Carl rubbed his forehead in frustration, “What the fuck are you talking about! I put that request in myself! Of course it was valid!” he said; though he had no idea why he was even arguing the point. For whatever reason, the request didn’t go through, and that was all that mattered. Still, he hated incompetence, and wanted to know who in clerical was the fuck up.

“It would have been valid if Hobbs was still in jail,” Kendal said.

Carl could feel the blood drain from his face.

“You better fucking explain yourself Kendal,” he growled. Surely that couldn’t be true he thought. Maybe they mixed up the prison numbers.

“Chris Hobbs was released last week on appeal. I called the court clerk down there and he told me that Hobbs’s attorney got him sprung based on lack of evidence. Apparently the kid who turned evidence against him recanted his story, and there were questions about procedural misconduct. Hobbs’ lawyer claimed that the NYPD railroaded his client into jail because the attack was on one of their own. Based on the lack of evidence and allegations of police misconduct, the Judge had no choice but to overturn the verdict and had Hobbs immediately released,” Kendal said.

Carl reached for his phone, “Does the NYPD know about his release?” he asked as he dialed.

“Don’t think so. They probably haven’t gotten the discharge papers yet. Admin is slower than shit in that city. The clerk in the Judges office told me that the attorney slipped the appeal hearing in while the original DA was on vacation. The acting DA was some newbie, still wet behind the ears. NYPD wasn’t even notified of Hobbs’ appeal. They never had a chance to defend their evidence. It was all thrown out of court. DA fucked up big time. But they’ll know soon enough, I put a call into the Sergeant in charge of the case,” Kendal explained.

“FUCK!” Carl cursed as the number he dialed went straight to voicemail.

‘Where the fuck are you Kinney?’ he thought, but hung up the phone without leaving a message. Some things needed to be relayed in person…

 

Part 4

 

Brian didn’t even bother to look at the incoming number as he switched his cell off. He was in no mood to speak to anyone right now. His mind was filled with rage… and guilt if he were to be honest. It had been over a month since he’s been for a visit. Time just slipped away from him with one assignment after another, and then there was Justin

….Justin.

Fuck! His carefully compartmentalized life was quickly unraveling.

“Mr. Kinney, I’m so glad you could come on such short notice.”

Brian took a deep breath and cleared his thoughts as the doctor approached him. This was not a problem, just an inconvenience he told himself. He’d take care of it.

“It’s my fault, I should have checked in. Work had me out of town the last few weeks,” Brian felt compelled to explain.

Doctor Denno shook his head dismissing Brian’s explanation, “This is in no way your fault Mr. Kinney. No one could have anticipated this happening. Something must have happened to put this idea in her head. I’m afraid she’s caused quite a stir,” he said.

“Where is she now?” Brian asked curtly feeling his ire rising again.

“She’s packing his things up,” Denno said.

“Fuck!” Brian cursed and headed down the corridor.

“Mr. Kinney please wait! He’s already confused and upset! You can’t start a family fight in front of him!” Dr. Denno cautioned keeping in step behind Brian.

“You should have thought of that before you let that woman near him!” Brian snapped at him, “In case you’ve forgotten, I have guardianship. She has no fucking rights!”

“This is NOT about ownership Mr. Kinney! This is about keeping my patient calm and safe. I couldn’t just have security escort her out of here! It would have upset Liam too much. I didn’t want to risk him having a seizure. He’s hadn’t had one in quite some time. I called you in hopes that you would calmly talk her out of this madness…not add to it!” The doctor admonished right back.

Brian stopped mid stride and turned to look at the doctor, hearing the logic in his words. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“How is Liam?” he finally asked, ashamed he hadn’t asked sooner. He was more concerned with making sure she didn’t get her paws on him, then his well being.

Dr. Denno stopped and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Confused, like I said, but so far he’s showing no signs of being overly distraught. I told him you were coming, that seemed to calm him,” he said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he looked towards the door to Liam’s room. He could hear soft mewling sounds’ coming from inside - it was Liam. He was upset. He always made that noise when he was upset, which wasn’t very often. Only when his routine was disrupted. Brian turned his eyes back to the Doctor.

“Does she know you called me?” Brian asked.

Denno shook his head, “No, I didn’t tell her. I was afraid she would cause a scene. You must know Mr. Kinney that I would have never let her take Liam away. I just wanted to contain the situation as best I could. I only had Liam’s best interest in mind,” he said.

Brian nodded his head, indicating he believed the doctor. He brought Liam to this facility several years back when he was able to afford it. Before then he was housed in a state facility. Part of Brian’s obsession to succeed was based in his need to get Liam into a better long-term care facility. Brentwood was one of the best. The place was a palace and the care top notch.

Doctor Denno had been Liam’s physician from day one and the man had done wonders with him. When Liam first arrived, he was practically catatonic. He had no communication skills, his motor functions were almost non-existing, and his overall health was poor. Today Liam could talk, do things for himself like brush his teeth, and feed himself, and his cognitive thinking skills had improved. He knew and recognized Brian. All because of Denno’s care.

“I know Doc, I’m not questioning your motives. I should have expected sooner or later she’d cause trouble. I should have never told her…” Brian said.

And as cruel as that sounded, even to his own ears, he knew given the chance to do over again, he might have decided differently. For once, Brian thought ironically, Jack may have been right….

His mind drifted back to the day his visited his father on his deathbed.

 

\- Flash back -

 

….”So you came Sonny boy,” Jack said as he saw his son walk into his hospital room. He immediately went into a coughing fit, which morbidly made Brian happy. He was happy to see his father suffering. He deserved to suffer - just like he made them all suffer. He walked over to his father’s bed and looked down at him, a slight smirk played around his lips.

“My pleasure, I assure you,” he said cruelly.

Jack looked up at him with what Brian could only describe as pride. It made him sick to his stomach.

“I’m sure it is Sonny boy, I’m sure it is…” he said.

 

“Don’t fucking call me that you sadistic bastard! I was never your ‘sonny boy’! I was your punching bag!” Brian spat at him then stopped himself. He didn’t come here to rehash the past. Hell he didn’t even know why he was here.

“Just tell me what the fuck it is you want. Forgiveness? Is that it?” Brian let out a cynical laugh, “You’ve wasted your time, not to mention mine, if that was your reason for asking to see me,” he said.

It was Jack’s turn to laugh now, “Forgiveness? Now there’s a fantasy I ain’t been entertaining. I may be dying, but I’m not stupid. I know what kind of man I was. I’m not looking for any forgiveness. Don’t want it. Don’t deserve it…” he trailed off as another fit of coughing assailed him.

Brian just watched him, a little stunned at his admission. He didn’t deserve forgiveness…and he knew it. It was little consolation to know that his father acknowledged what a prick he’d been his whole life - very little - but still it was something.

Brian picked up the plastic pitcher filled with water from the night side stand and poured some into a paper cup. He handed it to his father.

“Here, drink this. The sooner you tell me why you asked to see me, the sooner I can get the fuck out of here,” he said.

Jack took the water and drank it, eyeing his son as he did so. The boy had no reason to show him any kindness…yet he did. Once he drained the cup he crumbled it up and threw it across the room towards the wastebasket. He missed.

“Well there’s a first,” he muttered more to himself.

“And probably your last,” Brian said. He knew he was being unnecessarily cruel, but he couldn’t help himself.

Jack laughed again, “Be careful there Sonny boy, else you’ll find yourself more like your old man than you’d care to be,” he said.

Ok, that stung. Brian schooled his features and stared at his father, waiting for him to tell him why he asked to see him. He refused to participate in anymore banter with the man. Jack was right; cruelty bred cruelty...

Jack acknowledged his son’s silence as his cue to get to the point.

“I asked to see you because there is something you should know. Something I’ve kept from your mother and sister, and you,” he said.

Brian couldn’t keep the slight sneer from his lips. He was sure there were many things this man did that he never told them or anyone about. Bad things. He didn’t want to know what unspeakable acts his father may have committed. He rather he took them to his grave.

“Sorry to disappoint you old man, but I’m not interested in hearing about your past sins. You should have called a priest, not me,” Brian said.

Jacks’ eyes grew red with anger, “Stupid boy! This is not about me! It’s about your brother!” he snarled out.

Brian’s whole body went stiff. A million thoughts went through his mind…old suspicions came back to life.

His brother Liam had died at the age of seven. Brian vividly remembered coming home from school one day to find his mother crying. It had been three years since the ‘incident’. Three years since Jack had put him in the hospital and social services threatened to take them all away. But Brian had refused to give Jack up to the authorities and instead told them that he fell down a flight of stairs. He didn’t do it to protect Jack, or his mother; he did it to protect Liam.

Liam was just four at the time and though Brian didn’t understand why, he knew his brother was different. He couldn’t talk, or feed himself and Joan was usually too drunk to even notice. And Claire, well Claire was too busy hiding from their father. Brian had taken to caring for his little brother out of necessity. He and Claire could take care of themselves, but Liam needed him. So when he had heard the woman from social services say that they would have to split the children up and put them in different homes, he came up with the lie. Brian couldn’t have them take Liam away from him.

 

As it turned out, his lie worked…for a while. Three years went by with no more incidents. Jack had left them alone for the most part and Joan had stopped drinking; she even started paying more attention to Liam. Things were actually peaceful for that time. Then one day when Brian was nine he came home from school to find his mother crying and Liam gone. According to Joan, since Brian never spoke to his father, Liam had a seizure that killed him. Brian was devastated by the news. He wanted to see his brother but Joan had said that Jack took him down to the morgue. There was no funeral; they couldn’t afford one. Jack had Liam’s body cremated on the spot. He came back later that night with a coffee can full of ashes which he proceeded to spread over the backyard saying that Liam always like it out there. Brian was horrified by his actions. Joan stood there and watched, emotionless. Brian believed she died inside that day. Claire wasn’t even home. By that time she’d taken to spending as much time at friends’ houses as she could. He was the one who told her what happened to Liam.

Days turned into weeks, then months and no one ever spoke of Liam’s death…or his life. He became their family secret. Jack forbade anyone from mentioning his name. He said it was best not to dwell on the past. The boy was ‘retarded’ in his view, and he was better off dead. He then removed all tangible memories of his youngest son; clothes, toys, photos… After a while it was as if Liam never existed…Jack said they all needed to move forward and forget the past. So he sold everything and moved them to another town, away from friends and prying neighbors for a fresh start, as he put it. They weren’t in their new home one-week before Joan started drinking again, and the beatings resumed. Life, as Brian had known it, had gone back to normal. So much for a fresh start.

Brian always felt something was not right about his brother’s death. He became more bitter and resentful as he grew older. His family may have forgotten his brother, but he never did. The day he left home he went down to the hospital to get Liam’s death certificate but there was no record in the Morgue. The director blamed it on their new computer system. They suggested Brian ask his father for a copy, since they always gave the parents a copy. Brian knew how futile that would be. So he left the hospital and his past that day behind him…. forever. Or so he thought. Now, years later, his father was lying on his deathbed telling him he had a secret about Liam. His mind went blank as all the ramifications of what this meant clashed inside his head, causing him to shut down.

Jack saw the shock on his son’s face and for a brief second, pity filled him. An emotion he never embraced before. He didn’t like how it felt. He knew there was no easy way to say what he had to, so he just blurted it out.

“Liam is alive,” he said.

Brian audibly gasped, “Is this some kind of sick joke?” he asked disbelievingly.

Jack sighed and shook his head, “I wish it were but no. The truth is, there is a good chance your brother may still alive,” he said.

Brian’s mind was slowly starting to function again.

“Explain,” he said in a cold, dangerous voice.

Jack instinctively knew what that tone meant, and it didn’t bode well for him. He started spilling his guts.

“Don’t be looking at me like I killed the boy! Most of what you were told happened that day, did. Liam DID have a seizure, a bad one. I was the one who rushed him to the hospital. Your mother had been drinking and I didn’t want another visit from Social services. They threatened to lock me up the last time...” he said.

“Wait, Joan was drinking? As I remember, after that first visit from Social services, she stopped drinking for awhile,” Brian said.

Jack let out a disgusted snort, “Your mother was always too weak. She never stopped, she just hid it better,” he said.

“What happened to Liam?” Brian asked, his mothers’ deceit already forgotten. It was the least of her sins as far as he was concerned. He was more concerned what happened to his brother.

“Like I said, the seizure was bad. Really bad. The doctor’s told me his brain was fried. They said he needed special care. Medications, therapy…hell boy we didn’t have that kind of money! They told me if I gave the child up, the state would take guardianship and put him in a place where he’d get the care he needed. I knew your mother would never agree to that. She was getting attached to the boy. You know she always blamed herself for Liam being born the he way he was because of her drinking. Hell, she blamed you being a fag on her drinking too.” Jack said.

Brian felt bile rising up in his throat. It was the first time Jack mentioned that he was gay. Joan never did, though he knew his mother knew. She reminded him often enough what an abomination he was. But Jack never said a word. Brian didn’t think he knew. He would say it explained a lot, but that wouldn’t be true. Jack started beating him way before Brian even knew he was gay. It was all too much for him to take in at present. He didn’t want to deal with this shit; he just wanted to know where his brother was.

“Tell me what happened to Liam,” he demanded.

Jack looked him in the eye, “I forged your mother’s signature and gave the child up. I then came home and…well you know the rest. I didn’t consider it a lie. The boy was dead to us. The doctor’s at the hospital said he’d probably be a vegetable the rest of his life,” he said.

Brian suddenly grew very cold inside. Numb.

“You said he’s still alive, where is he now?” he asked.

“Well not sure if he’s ‘still’ alive, but he was last I handed him over. Been a while, he probably is dead, but I thought you should know. You’re the man of the house now. It’s your decision if you want to tell your mother and sister. My advice….let lying dogs lie. For all you know, he is dead. Truth is he’s been dead to us for near fifteen years now. As far as where he is, I haven’t a clue. If you want to find him, you can start here at the hospital. I handed him over to the doctors here,” Jack said.

“But a few years back I came here asking for Liam’s death certificate, they said they couldn’t find it,” Brian said.

“Of course they couldn’t find it, he wasn’t dead! He became a ward of the state. They should have a record for that,” Jack said.

An eerie silence fell between them as Brian contemplated all he just learned. He needed time to sort it all out. He’d just graduated college. He had no idea what his future held, but he knew one thing… he had to find Liam. That was his first priority.

“So now that you know….Would you?” Jack asked breaking the silence.

Brian blinked a few times not understanding exactly what Jack was asking. Would he tell his mother and sister? Would he go find Liam or just let the secret die along with Jack?

“Would I what?” he asked

“Forgive your old man…Not that I’m asking! I’m not,” Jack stammered, “I’m just wondering if it were something you think you could do,” he said uneasily.

That took Brian completely by surprise. He wasn’t expecting that. It was so out of character for his father, but then again, when death is knocking at your door he supposed all preconceived notions of ‘character’ went straight out the window.

Brian looked long and hard at his father, trying to find some redeeming quality in him that deserved absolution, yet as hard as he tried, he found none. There was no forgiveness in Brian’s heart for the pitiful man lying in the bed. If there was a God, and Brian wasn’t sure there was, then Jack would have to take up his cause with Him.

Still he wasn’t a cruel man like his father, there was no need to spit the obvious in a dying mans’ face. Yet he felt no compassion for him either… so instead, he simply opted for the truth.

He leaned over and whispered into his father’s ear…..

“A shark doesn’t ask for forgiveness when it’s biting into its’ victim flesh …The black widow spider seeks no absolution when she inserts her venom into her prey…Why the very Cancer that is now eating away at your flesh, determined to take your last breath, does not need, nor desire your forgiveness… So if they require none, then why in the fuck should you?” he said then left his father there to ponder his answer.

In truth, Brian didn’t believe in forgiveness. Sorry was bullshit and forgiveness was a tool used to make the victim feel less victimized and the perpetrator less guilty. All of it was a useless exercise in human compassion and did nothing to change the facts.   
A man was the sum of his actions. His choices. No apologies…no regrets.

 

…………..

 

Those were the last words Brian spoke to his father. He walked out of the hospital that day and started his search for his brother - which took longer than he had anticipated. Liam had been bounced in and out of state institutions so often it took Brian a while to track him down. By the time Brian found him, he was a mess. The first thing Brian did was hire a lawyer to claim guardianship of his brother. Well he didn’t exactly hire a lawyer, he was fresh out of college, broke with student loans up the ass, so he had to resort to other means of payment – of the sexual nature - which the Lawyer readily agreed to.

Brian got custody fairly quickly though it took some creative finagling of the paperwork involved, a task his Lawyer wasn’t opposed to doing considering he was getting ‘paid’ on a regular basis, and very grateful for it. When his request for guardianship was finally approved, Brian arranged to have his brother transferred to a reputable, yet affordable, long-term facility he found in Philly. Though it was a long way from the Pitts, it was at least cleaner and better staffed than the shit hole he found him in.

Once Liam was safely ensconced in the new residence, Brian made it his life’s ambition to make as much money as he could so that one day he could place Liam in the best rehabilitation place he could find. And that was Brentwood. He also decided to tell Joan about Liam. To her credit, she didn’t freak. She asked to see him and Brian told her where he was. They both decided not to tell Claire.

As far as Brian knew, Joan kept their ‘family secret’. Though he wasn’t surprised, appearances were always very important to her. She couldn’t have a mentally challenged son….or a gay one. Still, Brian knew she visited Liam regularly. And he only knew because the nurses at the facility in Philly would tell him. He had no contact with his mother or sister in years. Ted handled all of Brian’s finances. Brian had instructed Ted to set up bank accounts for both his mother and sister. There was one thing that Jack said as he lay dying in that hospital bed that Brian actually agreed with….he was the man of the house now… and Brian never shirked from his responsibilities.

Though he wanted no relationship with his mother or his sister, he still felt compelled to care for them financially. Claire was a victim of their parents, and she continued to be a victim. Jack had beaten whatever self-esteem she ever had out of her. She learned early on to keep her distance from everyone in their family, including him. She mentally divorced all of them and Brian couldn’t blame her. He only wished she would divorce that loser husband of hers…He was too much like Jack; a selfish drunk. Claire was always struggling with bills. Brian felt after what Jack did to her, the least he could do was make sure she had a safety net. And Joan…well the only reason he took care of Joan was because she did have feelings for Liam. She continued to visit him, when he was all the way in Philly, and when Brian moved him closer, here to Brentwood, she continued to visit him regularly.

Brian tried to visit weekly from the start. At first it was hard because he was working day and night to build his empire. He needed the money to take care of his biological family while at the same time he was building his own ‘surrogate’ family. One he had chosen for himself.

Brian didn’t trust people, understandably, and had a hard time making friends. Until he met Mikey. They met during Brian’s first year in high school and became fast friends. Mikey was a shy gay boy who was constantly getting picked on. Brian, knowing first hand what it felt like to be bullied, appointed himself as Mikey’s defender. Of course Mikey instantly fell in love with him. For all of his mothers recriminations, and his fathers’ beatings, Brian never lost his sense of ‘self’. He was gifted with smoldering good looks, a witty intellect, and a special charm that he learned very early on how to use to his advantage, but never with Mikey. Mikey became Brian’s ‘safe harbor’. More nights than he’d like to recall he found himself crawling in his best friends window, bloodied from one of Jack’s beatings. In the morning, it was Debbie, Mikey’s mother, who would patch him back up…physically as well as emotionally.

Debbie was the first adult in Brian’s life that actually gave a shit about him. She was there for him during those last few years he lived with Jack and Joan. They were particularly hard years because Jack was getting meaner. Brian was growing into a man and Jack felt threatened…he felt like he had to prove his own manhood by beating the crap out of Brian…more than normally. And then there was his affair with his Coach, a distraction Brian clung to…even mistook for ‘love’. His high school years were disastrous. If it weren’t for Debbie’s loving care, Brian doubted he’d survive that time.

Everything came to a head on graduation day. His coach dumped him for another man and his father hit him for the last time. Brian left his house that day, after blackening his father’s eye, and headed off to college where he met Lindsey. She was a Fifth Avenue WASP, he was the bad boy from across the tracks, and they were both gay. They hit it off immediately. Between Mikey, Debbie and Lindsey Brian felt for the first time in his life like he had a ‘real’ family. And that family grew as the years went on.

Brian met Ted shortly after he graduated from college. They were both up for the same executive job at McKenzie Securities. They struck up a conversation in the waiting room and ended up leaving together without ever making their interviews. Two hours later as they sat in a Starbucks across the street from McKenzie’s, they discovered that they each had MBA’s in Business Finance. Though Brian maintained a 4.0 average in college, it was obvious that Ted was the real financial genius of the two. He simply had a ‘knack’ for numbers. Two months later they opened up a brokerage firm together. Lindsey’s Dad had lent them the money. The business grew rapidly and way beyond their expectations. In just a year they garnered more clients then they could handle. That’s when Ted brought Cynthia in. She was an IT genius and fit right in at their firm. Brian took to her instantly. She was very instrumental in helping Brian build his empire.

Just when his professional life was taking off, his personal life took an unexpected turn. Lindsey had asked him to father a child with her. He never thought he’d have a child, never thought he’d be given the opportunity. But for some unknown reason, God, or whoever in the universe, decided that he was worthy of such a blessing. And that was what Gus was, a true blessing. Brian had no qualms about bringing a child into the world. His world…the one he created for himself. Gus was surrounded by loving, caring people he chose. His son had two amazing mothers, a doting grandmother in Debbie, and lots of aunts and uncles who adored him. Brian was determined to give his son all the love that he and his siblings were denied as children.

 

Time went on, and Brian’s success grew. His brokerage firm made a shit load of money. Brian left the business in Ted’s and Cynthia’s hands while he went off and joined the police academy. Though he had everything a man could ask for…a loving family…financial security…lots of hot gorgeous men falling at his feet….He still felt like something was missing in his life. When he was younger, he thought it was love, but after the fiasco with Connie in High School, he quickly let go of that notion. He was just a restless soul he concluded. He craved adventure. He made detective in a very short time, and, as with most things, he got bored with it and opened up his own Detective agency. Of course Ted and Cynthia followed him into the new business. He still owned a portion of the brokerage firm he and Ted established. Ted made sure everything Brian touched turned a profit. As a result, he became a very rich man.

Life was good for Brian fucking Kinney, and got even better when one hot, sexy as fuck blond entered his life. He would say his life was perfect now, except for one, tiny, teeny little fly in the ointment…He was living a double life.

 

For years he’s managed to keep his two lives separate. His ‘adopted’ family had no clue he had a brother residing in a facility for the mentally challenged. Oh, they knew of his mother and sister, but they also knew they were not part of Brian’s life, and he wanted to keep it that way. And up until recently they had respected his wishes. Justin however, was another issue all together. They were living together now and he was in a ‘real’ relationship for the first time. He didn’t know what he was going to tell Justin…if anything.

Brian rationalized that he didn’t need to tell Justin about Liam. They decided not to pry into each other’s past, and this was definitely Brian’s past….It wasn’t an issue…yet. Not until Gus became old enough to meet Liam. Brian had decided that when the time was right, he would introduce Gus to his brother. But that was a long way off. For now, he didn’t want anyone in the family to know about Liam.

There were two main reasons why he wanted to keep Liam’s existence a secret for the time being. One if revealed, it would prompt too many questions he wasn’t ready to answer… and two, and more importantly, once his family found out about his brother they would descend upon him like a herd of ‘do gooders’. Especially Debbie. She would want to mother Liam to death; and Lindsey would want Gus to meet his uncle Liam. All this would be very bad for Liam. He was not yet ready to be introduced into society, or meet new people. True, he was making good progress at Brentwood, but he had a long way to go. He was just getting comfortable with Brian, and Joan. New people always upset him and when Liam got upset, his risk of having another seizure increased. The last seizure did so much brain damage; they couldn’t risk him having another. So for now, he continued to do what was best for his brother….however, for some reason that Brian couldn’t phantom, his mother was now willing to risk Liam relapsing by trying to pull him out of the only place he knew as home. He could only assume she finally lost her mind from all the drinking.

 

……………

“Mr. Kinney what do you want to do about your mother?” Dr. Denno said, startling Brian. He was so lost in his thoughts he forgot the doctor was waiting for his instructions.

Snapping out of his reverie, he turned his attention to the matter at hand.

“Tell her to come to your office to sign some release papers. I’ll meet you there,” Brian said.

Denno nodded several times, “Good, good. Excellent idea. Then I can get Liam back on schedule. He’s already missing art class because of your mother’s impromptu visit. I don’t want him to miss water aerobics,” he said as he walked away towards Liam’s room.

Brian watched him go into the room then turned and headed down the corridor towards the doctor’s office. He hoped Joan didn’t give him a hard time. He didn’t want to resort to having security drag her out of there, but he wasn’t opposed to the idea. If she pushed him, he’d have her barred from ever seeing Liam again.

Ten minutes later, Dr. Denno escorted Joan into the office. Her face dropped when she saw Brian there.

“Thank you Doctor, I can handle it from here,” Brian said.

“If you need me, I’ll be in the aquatics room,” Denno said then left, closing the door behind him.

Joan squared her shoulders and faced her son, “I should have known he’d call you,” she said.

“Of course he called me. I have guardianship Joan, or have you forgotten? What the fuck were you thinking!?” Brian said, letting his anger and frustration show.

Joan sneered at him, “I was thinking what a gullible fool I was to let you take my son from me!” she snapped back.

Brian raised his brow at her, “I took him away from you?” he said letting out a cynical laugh, “In case you’ve forgotten, your husband was the one who took him away from US, not you Joan! I was the one who brought him back! I’m the one who worked my ass off for years to be able to afford this place! He’s finally making progress here. And what do you do? You jeopardize his health and all the progress he’s made by threatening to take him away…which, by the way, you’re insane if you thought I’d ever let that happen! You are only here because I allow it! Don’t make me regret telling you he was alive to begin with!” he said.

Joan glared at him, “You allow? Listen to yourself! You allow me to see my own son! How dare you! HOW DARE YOU! How would you feel if someone took your son away from you, only to ‘allow’ you to visit him?!” she screeched at him.

Brian’s face registered his shock and Joan took great satisfaction it in.

“Yes, that’s right. I know you have a son. Just found out this morning by accident….Oh stop looking at me like that! I’m not a stupid woman, I know you would never allow me to see my grandchild,” she bit out sarcastically.

“He’s not your grandchild! You’re nothing to him, do you understand?” Brian growled.

“I understand that he’s your son, and you have the right to say who is in, or not in his life. And Liam is my son! When I saw your boy today I….do you know how much he looks like Liam did at that age? It made me realize how much time I’ve lost. This,” Joan swept her arm across the room, “is not enough. Seeing him once a week is not enough. I want my boy back,” she said.

Brian looked at her as if she lost her mind. In fact, he was quite certain that was exactly the case - which meant she’d be trouble. Fuck, he thought. He didn’t need this shit in his life right now. At the very least, she was going to make a stink, perhaps even tell Claire about Liam, seeking her aide. At the worse, she’d go to Debbie and his two worlds would then collide. That was a situation he had to avoid at all costs.

“Joan, listen to me. Are you listening,” Brian addressed her in a calm, yet serious voice.

Joan looked him in the eye and nodded her head, “Yes,” she said.

“Liam is doing well here. He belongs here; he’s not ready to go home yet. He may never be. Surely you can see that? If you want, I can arrange for you to have a room here so you can be closer to him, would you like that?’ he asked, speaking to her as if she were a child.

Joan snorted indignantly, “Don’t be ridiculous. This place is for the mentally challenged,” she said.

Brian made a face indicating that was exactly why he suggested the idea. Joan grew angry.

“Now you listen to me Brian,” she said taking a step towards him, “Liam is MY son! He’s much better now. He can dress himself, and feed himself, there is no reason why I can’t take him home,” she said.

“Other than the fact that you have no authority you mean? Face it Joan, legally, I’m his guardian. Don’t make me have you barred from ever seeing him again,” Brian said tired of trying to reason with her.

Joan smiled at him. It was an evil smile that sent a chill down Brian’s spine.

“And how did you get guardianship of Liam? Did the judge who granted your petition know Liam’s mother was still alive? I doubt it; you would need me to sign over my rights in order to gain custody. I don’t remember signing any papers, in fact, by the time you got around to telling me my son was still alive, you already had custody. So either you lied to the judge, or you forged my name on some documents, just like your father did! Either way, if I were you, I wouldn’t be so cocky in threatening to stop me from seeing my son. I’m the injured party here and any judge would see that,” she said.

If she thought her threat would scare Brian, she was wrong.

“Don’t try to take me on Joan, you will lose. But if you feel you have a case, by all means, pursue it. I must warn you though, I can be very ruthless. I had the best teachers after all…my parents. Drag me in front of a judge and I promise you every dirty little family secret will come out. Starting with how you tried to drown Liam in the tub when he was seven, and that’s why Pop had to gave him away, to protect him from you,” Brian said with a straight face.

Joan gasped, “But that’s not true!” she said.

Brian smiled at her, “Isn’t it? Hmmm…But I remember that incident so ‘clearly’. It certainly could have happened. I’m sure the records from social services would indicate something like that ‘could’ have happened,” he shrugged his shoulders; his implications clear, “Like I said Joan, I had great teachers,” he concluded coldly, there were an undeniable hint of satisfaction in his voice as well.

Joan’s face blanched, then turned bright red. Her eyes grew wide and wild. Brian thought she was about to explode, which would be ideal. If she did, he could then have her committed and be done with it. But she was made of stronger stuff. She balled her hands into fists and hissed at him through clenched teeth.

“This is not over,” she said then turned and left the office.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose with is thumb and forefinger and let out a long sigh. She was going to be trouble, he knew it. He had to get ahead of this situation before it got out of control. There was only one person he knew who he could trust to squash any legal claims she would bring against him. Even if it meant going outside the law.

He pulled his cell phone out and was about to dial Lucas’ number when the office door opened again. He looked up and suddenly, all his troubles disappeared and a big smile spread across his face.

“Brrii ii aaaan!”

“Liam…”

 

Part 5

 

“Justin, can I talk to you?”

Justin jumped, startled by the man standing behind him.

“Jesus fuck Michael you scared the shit out of me! Where did you come from?” he asked.

Justin had just left the diner and was walking to the office. It was a long walk but he needed the time to clear his head. Something was niggling at the back of his brain that he couldn’t shake. He should be happy, at the very least relieved. He avoided a potential disaster by stopping his mother and Debbie from talking to Brian but he had a bad feeling this wasn’t the end of it. It was as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Something was not ‘right’. He felt it, and Justin always trusted his instincts.

At first, he thought Claire might be what was worrying him. She divulged a lot to his mother and Debbie last night; he worried she would confront Brian with what she said. But then logic told him that wouldn’t happen. Claire wouldn’t risk losing her brother’s financial support by pissing him off. Not that Justin thought she was an opportunist, just the opposite, she was a woman in a very bad situation who had two kids she needed to provide for, and her brother was her only means at this point. From what Debbie had told him, her husband was a no good drunk who spent all their money on booze. She needed Brian’s support. Odds were she’d keep her little conversation with his mother and Debbie a secret. ‘Secret’s’ seemed to be the Kinney’s forte’.

So what then was the problem? Justin was contemplating that exact question when Michael came up behind him.

“Um, I was heading towards the diner with Lindsey and Gus but then saw you walking down the street and ran to catch up with you,” Michael said.

“Where are Lindsey and Gus?” Justin asked looking over Michaels shoulder.

“I sent them in the diner. Gus was hungry. We were out shopping for his birthday gift and…well something happened. I tried to call Brian at work but he isn’t there. Then I tried his cell but it went straight to voice mail. I was wondering if you knew where he was?” Michael asked.

Justin’s brow furrowed in concerned. This is what’s niggling at his brain. Something is not right here…not right at all. His mother mentioned Brian couldn’t make breakfast with her cause he said he had an ‘emergency’, now Michael is telling him he can’t get a hold of him. Justin was starting to worry.

“Did you talk to Ted? Cynthia? Maybe Agnes knows where he is, she has a knack for knowing everything,” Justin said.

Michael shook his head, “No, I didn’t talk to Agnes, but I did ask Cynthia and Ted. They said all they knew was that Brian got a phone call and said he had to go out for a while. He said he would be back this afternoon, but I don’t think I should wait to tell him what happened. He’ll want to know right away,” Michael said.

“Did something happen to Gus?” Justin blurted out anxiously.

“No, no! Gus is fine. It’s just…” Michael stopped not sure how much he should tell Justin.

Justin saw his hesitation. He looked around the street. It was too crowded. He grabbed Michael by the arm and pulled him down an alley.

Michael looked stun when Justin turned him around and pinned him against the brick building.

“Um, I’m flattered, really Justin, but you’re Brian’s boyfriend,” he said nervously.

Justin would have laughed if the situation weren’t so dire.

“Please, give me some credit would you? I don’t want to fuck you, just talk to you. Listen, you need to tell me whatever it is that happened. I got a bad feeling here Michael, Brian could be in trouble. I don’t like this ‘emergency’ he was called away to,” Justin said.

Michael’s eyes narrowed in confusion, “Who said anything about an emergency? Ted and Cynthia didn’t say anything about an emergency!” he said, growing more concerned now at this new bit of information.

“That’s what Brian told my mother. She called him this morning to ask him to breakfast but he said he couldn’t because an ‘emergency’ popped up. You getting now why I need to know what you know? Tell me what the fuck happened,” Justin demanded.

Michael contemplated for all of three seconds if he should tell Justin, and quickly decided he needed to.

“Um, well you know about Joan, right?” he asked. He wasn’t sure, but he believed someone, if not Brian, would have told Justin about Joan and Claire. If for no other reason than to make sure he understood that Brian didn’t want them to have any contact with him, or his son.

“Yes, I know about his biological family. What does Joan have to do with this?” Justin asked.

“Then you know Brian doesn’t want them anywhere near his son. He has no contact with them, and wants to keep it that way. I swear to God Justin it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t see her!” Michael started jabbering away almost hysterically.

“Calm the fuck down! Just tell me what happened,” Justin demanded.

“Lindsey and I took Gus to the big Q so he could pick out his birthday gift I promised to buy him…and…we were laughing and talking about how much Brian would like the remote control car Gus choose when Joan came up to us,” Michael said.

“What?! FUCK! What happened? Did she talk to Gus?” Justin asked frantically. He knew Brian was going to freak when he heard this.

“What do you think happened!? She saw Gus and knew immediately it was Brian’s child! Apparently, though not surprisingly, Joan had no idea Brian had a child. Now Gus knows there is this lady with his last name out there that he had no clue about. He’s going to have a million questions for Brian, and I got to let him know! Plus, God knows what Joan is going to. That woman is unstable and unpredictable! This is not good Justin, NOT good at all! If Brian was called away on an ‘emergency’ I bet it was Joan. She must have called him and told him she met his son, and he’s going to blame me!” Michael said growing more agitated by the minute.

“Get a hold of yourself Michael, there is no need to get hysterical,” Justin tried to calm him down.

“I’m fucking gay and Italian, I can’t help it! It’s in my DNA!” Michael said.

Justin had to smile at that. “Well try to control it. This may be a good thing. It’s about time Brian confronted his mother. Maybe they’ll finally hash out their feelings once and for all and Brian can move on,” he rationalized. Perhaps, he thought, the cosmos were lined in his favor.

“Or maybe he’ll strangle her and he’ll go to jail for murder!” Michael predicted.

“Really Michael, stop being such a fucking drama queen. Brian isn’t going to kill anyone. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll call Agnes and find out if she knows where Brian went. Maybe we can go to where ever they’re meeting and stand by…you know, just incase,” Justin said reaching for his cell.

Michael breathed in a sigh of relief, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’d feel better if we were there when those two but heads. You know she’s a scary person Justin…mean as a snake,” he said.

Justin nodded his head in agreement as he put his cell to his ear. Though he didn’t know Joan, he’s heard enough about her to conclude that at the very least, she wasn’t a nice person.

“Kinney’s Private Dicks! You drop it, we’ll spot it! He cheat’s we’ll peak..”

“Hey Aggy, it’s me, Justin,” Justin said interrupting her signature greeting.

“Justin! How are you? You coming in today?” his cousin asked.

“Yeah, later. Right now it’s important that I find Brian. You wouldn’t happen to know where he went, would you Aggy?” Justin asked.

“Why would I know? No call’s came through the office. He was called away on a personal matter. That’s all I know. He got the call on his cell,” Agnes said.

“Bullshit. I always can tell when you’re lying. Now tell me what the fuck you overheard. This is important Aggy, Brian may be in trouble,” Justin said.

He hated misleading his cousin. Though Brian’s mother could be considered ‘trouble’, she wasn’t the kind of trouble Agnes would betray her boss’s confidence over. But under the circumstances, he had no choice but to impact the urgency of the situation on her.

“Trouble?! Oh no, I hope not! Ok, you’re right. I was listening, but all I heard was him talking to a Dr. Denno saying he’ll be right over. He sounded upset,” Agnes said.

Justin narrowed his brow, “Dr. Denno? Is that Brian’s personal physician?” He asked.

Michael answered him, “No, Brian’s doctor’s name is Stambergh. I never heard of a Denno,” he said.

“I don’t think so,” Agnes said on the other line.

Justin gnawed at his bottom lip. ‘Who the fuck was this Dr. Denno?’ he wondered.

“Aggy, is Ted there? Put him on the phone,” Justin said as an idea hit him.

“Ok Justin. Please let me know what you find out ok? I hope Brian isn’t in any trouble,” she said.

“Don’t worry Aggy, I got it under control,” Justin said, wondering when the lies started coming so easily to him.

Several seconds later Ted picked up the phone.

“Hey Justin, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“You can tell me if you ever paid any bills to a Dr. Denno,” Justin said getting right to the point. He knew Ted was Brian’s business, and personal accountant. He handled all his finances.

Ted went silent for a moment, “I can’t divulge that information Justin, you know this,” he said.

“Not even if Brian was in trouble?” Justin asked.

“Trouble?! What trouble?!” Ted’s voice sounded frantic.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out Ted. Apparently Dr. Denno called Brian this morning and told him there was some kind of emergency. Brian left to see him and no ones’ heard from him since. Michael is here with me and he’s been trying to get a hold of him too. His cell keeps going to voice mail. Something is wrong Ted, I’m not asking you to divulge any secrets, I’m just asking if you can tell me where I might find Brian,” Justin said.

Ted went silent on the other end. Justin gave him a few minutes to make his decision. If necessary, Justin would go to the office and ransack Ted’s office to get the answers he needed. He suspected Ted knew this as well because it didn’t take him long to make his decision.

“All I know is that Dr. Denno runs a facility up town called Brentwood,” Ted said.

“What kind of ‘facility’?” Justin asked.

“A rehabilitation facility for the mentally and physically challenged, one of the best in the state.” Ted answered, “For the past few years I’ve been mailing monthly checks to the place for patient number 24. That’s all I know, and you didn’t hear it from me!” Ted said.

“Ok, thanks Ted. I’m sure Brian is fine, I’ll keep you updated, and you call me immediately if he checks in, ok?” Justin said.

“Absolutely. I’ll make a few phone calls to see if I can find anything else out,” Ted said.

“Thanks Ted, later,” he said then shut his cell.

“Do you know about a place called Brentwood?” Justin asked Michael.

Michael shook his head, “No, never heard of it. Why would Brian go there?” he asked sounding as confused as Justin felt.

“Maybe that’s where his mother lives. Makes sense. Maybe she escaped or something. You said today was the first time she saw Gus, and you never bumped into her before?” Justin asked.

“Not recently. I haven’t seen her since High School. But I think Mom said she’s seen her in church before. I know Claire goes to my mother’s church,” Michael said.

This was a mystery for sure. One Justin wished he didn’t have to unravel, but had to. Brian could be in trouble, and if it meant he had to discover a few of Brian’s secret to help him, then he would and deal with Brian’s wrath later. He turned to Michael and grabbed his arm once more, leading him out of the alley.

“Hey, where are we going!” he asked.

“To Brentwood. I’m not taking the fall for this by myself! If he’s there, he’s not going to be happy to see us, and half his anger is just going to have to be directed at you! I just found him Michael, and I’m happy…we’re happy! I’m not going to let go of what we have together, got it?” Justin said.

“Ok, okay, I’ll go with you. Just let me call Lindsey and tell her I won’t be going back to the diner,” Michael said.

Justin released his arm.

As Michael made his call to Lindsey, Justin’s cell rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the incoming number.

“What the fuck…” he said out loud before he answered the call. He turned away from Michael, whose back was to him.

“Hey Serg! Long time no hear, if you called to talk me into coming back to work, you can forget it! I’m not going back to NY. I’m making my home here, in Pittsburgh,” Justin said surprised, yet please to hear from his old Sergeant. It was remiss of him not to call him sooner to tell him he wasn’t coming back. Technically, he was just on leave. He needed to officially resign.

“Taylor, that’s not why I called, I’m afraid I have some disturbing news….”

 

Michael shut his phone and turned to Justin only to find an empty space where he was standing.

‘Now what the fuck happened!’ he thought to himself.

 

The cosmos’, apparently, weren’t working in Justin’s favor today…


	18. Chapter 18

NYPD 12th district station house…

“Next thing I know, this punk pulls out a zip gun…” Detective Paulson, who was holding court at his desk recounting the tale of his latest bust, expounded.

“You should have just popped the scumbag Nook. That neighborhood’s a fucking shit hole, nothing but junkies and pimps,” A big burly cop said with undisguised disgust; others standing near him nodded their head in agreement.

“I should have, but then that would have taken all the fun out of hearing the little piggy squeal when I shoved my night stick up his ass,” Paulson gleefully revealed.  
Everyone around the desk laughed.

“Ok boys that’s enough, break it up. Fun’s over. Lots of bad guys out there to catch. Nook, I want that report on my desk by five tonight, less the colorful details. Last thing we need is a lawsuit,” Sergeant Lewinski barked out, causing the men to disperse.  
“You got it Chief,” Nicholas Paulson, aka, ‘Nookie’ or ‘Nook’, said giving his Sergeant a mock salute.

The Sergeant snorted his disapproval, “Smart ass,” he said.  
Nookie just smiled and bent his head down over his desk as he shuffled through some papers.  
Lewinski looked around the station. Each cop and detective was busily moving around the station. Some on the phone, some at the copy and fax machines, others at their desks…. Each doing their job, and a damn good job they did. The Sergeant was proud of his precinct and of each and every one of his men, and woman….Couldn’t forget Helen. Tough as nails she was… had to be. The 12th precinct paroled some of the roughest streets in Manhattan. He’d been lucky not to lose any of his people during his command, though he’d come close with Taylor. A situation that the Sergeant felt responsible for. He should have protected him better. Taylor was his man and he failed him. They were all his men, and they were all family. They trusted him. That was why he hated what he was about to do, but it was the best way he knew how to protect Taylor now. He was bound and determined not to fail this time.

He cleared his throat loudly, “Listen up! I need everyone’s attention. I got some bad news,” Lewinski said.

Everyone stopped what they were doing mid motion.  
“Chris Hobbs was released on appeal last week,” he said.

The room broke out into chao’s. Echo’s of, “No fucking way!” and “How could this happen?!” And the worse… “I’ll fucking hunt the bastard down and kill him myself!” spread through the station.

Lewinski held his hand up, “No one will do no such thing! You hear me?! We got bigger problems on our hands right now. Taylor knows,” he said then waited for that bit of information to sink in.

It took a few seconds, but when it did, the room grew suddenly very quiet.

“Shit! Taylor’s gonna kill him,” Paulson said in a dead serious voice.

Where as the one cop who blurted out he was going to hunt Hobbs down and kill him was just letting off steam, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Taylor was going to do just that. It sent a chill down everyone’s spine.

“That would be my guess,” the Sergeant said, “That’s why I’m putting out a warrant for his arrest,”

Several gasps could be heard over the Sergeant’s words.

“You can’t do that Serge! Taylor’s one of us!” One of the detectives objected. Every cop in the station protested in agreement.

“I know how you all feel, but trust me on this. We need to bring Taylor in before he gets to Hobbs. It’s either we get him first, or the feds do. When a cop commits murder, the whole fucking justice system comes down on his head...hard," Lewinski said.  
Paulson, who had been Justin Taylor’s partner before he left, stood up, “The Chief’s right,” he said looking at his friends and co-workers, “we got to get to Taylor before he gets to Hobbs. Then we gotta find a way to bring Hobbs down…this time for good,” he said turning his attention back to the Sergeant with a knowing look.  
Lewinski just nodded his head. He knew exactly what Nookie was suggesting. Without a word, he turned and went back into his office. Some things were best left unsaid….

 

PART 2

 

Brian sat in the solarium sipping his second cup of coffee as he watched his brother sway back and forth in front of the large window that over looked the garden. He’d been there for the past twenty minutes trying to calm himself.

Brain damage, Brian discovered early on, was a complicated condition. Brian always believed brain damaged people were incapable of adult thinking - that they operated with a child’s mentality. But the fact is that was not always the case, and it certainly wasn’t the case for Liam. His brother was anything but ‘child like’.

The degrees of brain damage and their extenuating symptoms varied greatly. The level of disability depended not only on the extent of the brain damage but the location. A severe trauma to one part of the brain might leave very little physiological or psychological damage where as a minor injury to another part of the brain may leave the patient totally incapacitated mentally and physically.

According to the doctor’s Liam was an alcohol syndrome baby, however, the more serious injuries to his brain they believed came from physical trauma sustained in the womb. No doubt from one of Jack’s beatings. Brian almost felt sorry for Joan. Almost.

The good news was that Liam’s injuries were contained to the motor cortex of his brain. He had trouble making the connection between thought and movement. As a result, he struggled with every day body functions, such as walking, eating, finger and hand dexterity and speech. Yet his ‘understanding’ was sound. His cognitive thinking skills, when working, were excellent. The key was getting his brain to work properly. It took constant therapy to get Liam to master these skills…therapy he wasn’t afforded in the state homes. A situation Brian corrected as soon as he was able to.

When Liam first arrived at Brentwood he was practically catatonic. He couldn’t speak or walk, his joints were all contracted and his cognitive thinking skills had diminished greatly. Now, just a few years later, Liam could walk, dress and feed himself and most importantly, talk.

Though Brian was thrilled to finally be able to converse with Liam, he didn’t need words to know that his brother possessed a keen intelligence. Even before Liam started speaking, Brian could see it in his eyes. There was a spark behind that blank stare Brian first glimpsed six years ago. And it broke Brian’s heart. He knew his brother was trapped in his own mind. The first thing he did, after he got custody, was to educate himself on Liam’s condition. What he found out was that there was hope. The brain was complex. It was the one organ that could regenerate damaged cells…repair itself, but it needed help. Brentwood gave his brother that help and now, because of all the success Liam has experienced his brother had a chance for a better, if not normal life. And he’d be damned if he let Joan fuck that up for him.

“Liam, come sit by me,” Brian said feeling his brother had enough time to compose himself. If he let him, Liam would slip into his ‘inner sanctum’, as he dubbed it, taking himself away to his ‘special place’. Liam went to that place when things got too stressful for him. Brian didn’t want him retreating to that place.

Liam didn’t respond immediately. Brian frowned, “You’re letting her win Liam,” he said.

That got his brother to stop swaying. Since day one, Brian spoke to his brother as an equal. They had many adult conversations over the years. In the beginning, those conversations were one sided. Brian would spend hours talking to his brother about his life…and their childhood. It was the one thing they shared, that each could relate to. Neither childhood was very pleasant and the blame for that lay at their parents’ feet.

Brian was always brutally honest with his brother. He held nothing back. Liam deserved the truth. He wasn’t stupid, he was brain damaged. He knew he was abandoned as a young child and it was somewhat comforting to him to know that it wasn’t him. It was his parents. Brian told Liam of their fathers’ brutality, and their mothers’ apathy for what was going on in their home. Though Liam had little memory of his time with them, from what Brian had told him, he was glad he hadn’t grown up in that house. He was sorry his brother had to.

Brian also spoke to his brother about his business, his friends, his son…and just every day stuff. On one particular bad day Brian was having, he confided to Liam his affair with Conrad. In hindsight, telling his brother about Conrad was his way of breaking the news he was gay. Part of him expected to be rejected, or at least see condemnation in his brother’s eyes. He was a bit surprised, yet ecstatic by Liam’s reaction. His brother was hurt and concerned for Brian’s pain over the relationship. The news that Brian was gay was inconsequential to him. Brian knew this to be true because Liam spoke volumes with his eyes and expressions long before he learned to use his words.

These days Liam communicated mostly with his words, though Brian could still read him perfectly…with or without them. His speech was improving greatly, and though his stutter was still very pronounced he was putting together sentences better and better. It was the hope Brian had held on to coming to fruition. However right now Brian didn’t need words from Liam to know he was angry with him. His body language was screaming at him.

Brian hadn’t been to visit Liam in over a month. Between the Riker case, Conrad showing up in his life again, then this last case at the school, Brian hadn’t the time. Though he made sure to call Liam at least once a week, calling was not the same as visiting.

Brian missed his visits probably more than Liam did. He couldn’t wait to tell his brother he’d met someone. Meeting Justin was the most significant event in his life since his son was born. And he wanted to share that with his brother. But now wasn’t the time. First he had to assure Liam that his world wasn’t coming down around his head. He was NOT going to allow Joan to take him away, under any circumstance.

“Liam, come sit by me, let’s talk,” Brian urged once more. The fact that he stopped swaying indicated he was ready to talk, and listen, calmly. Brian knew Joan’s threats to take him away upset him greatly. Brentwood was the only home Liam knew.

Liam turned and slowly shuffled over to Brian. Brian noticed his legs were stiff, and he was clenching his fist tightly against his chest. He was so tense his muscles were cramping. Brian got up and pulled a chair out for him. Liam sat down; Brian sat across from him and held his hand out.

“Give me your hand,” he said.

Liam took a deep breath and extended his hand. Brian took his brothers’ hand and gently pried open his fingers. He then started massaging the tension away.

“Mmm....mo..mm sa,,aai..dd…” Liam started.

Brian sneered, “I don’t care what Joan said. You know I’d never let her take you away. You’ll leave when you want to leave. That decision is not up to her, or me. I’ve told you before, it’s your decision where you want to be,” he said.

Though Liam cared for his mother, he did not want her to take him away. Sometimes Brian resented Joan’s relationship with his brother, but he said nothing because he knew Liam enjoyed his mothers care. Still, it made Brian sick to see her acting all ‘motherly’ towards Liam mainly because he knew her motives were purely selfish. She was trying to atone for being such a lousy mother all those years to them.

Liam visibly relaxed, his hand unclenched, “Whaah..whe..rrree we..rree yo..ouu Brii…” he asked.

Brian shook his head sadly, “Obviously not where I should have been,” he said.

“Noo…noo… noottt yo…uurr ff..faa..aulltt…” Liam said.

Brian smiled up at his brother, “I do have faults you know,” he said teasingly.

Liam grinned mischievously, “Maa..maa..an..nny,” he agreed.

“Hey! Easy now. I’ve had a rough few weeks,” Brian said then regretted his words the moment they left his mouth. Liam’s smile faded as a worried look crossed his features.

“Wh..haa..att?” he asked.

Brian released his hand and grabbed his other one and started massaging it, “Stop worrying, I’ve just been over loaded with work. I’m here and fine. Everyone is fine,” he said.

“Ggguuss?” Liam asked.

“Gus is fine,” Brian said smiling at the mention of his son, “He’s getting bigger every day. His birthday is this Saturday you know,” he said.

Liam’s mood lifted immediately, “Seeee??” he asked.

When Liam didn’t have to use too many words to convey his wants, he didn’t. Brian knew exactly what Liam wanted. He wanted to see Gus’s picture. He loved looking at Gus’s pictures. But Brian wouldn’t let him get away with being lazy.

“See what?” he asked.

Liam’s lips tightened in anger, “Pp..p..rr..icckkk” he said.

Brian clucked his tongue at him, “That’s not very nice… calling your brother a prick,” he admonished teasingly.

“Noonoo… b..but..t..trruuee...” Liam countered.

Brian laughed heartily, “Such a smart ass. Ok, here, I got a new one for you,” Brian said releasing Liam’s hand to pull out a picture from his wallet. Liam took it from him and starred at it. Brian held his breath…it was a picture he took of Justin and Gus at the children’s museum.

Liam’s expression was blank at first, but then Brian could see the corners of his mouth lift. He looked up at him,

“B..boy..fr..frieend?” he asked.

Brian smiled almost shyly, “Yeah, something like that,” he said.

Liam got up from his chair and walked around to Brian; he then pulled him up and in for a hug. Brian felt his emotions cave in on him. It was rare for Liam to initiate physical contact. He held on to his brother tightly.

“He..heess bbe..u..t..ttifulll,” Liam whispered in his ear.

Brian’s could feel his emotions choking him. He couldn’t answer so he just buried his face in his brothers’ neck and nodded. They stood like that for several minutes before they were interrupted by a knock on the door. Reluctantly, Brian pulled away from his brother and composed himself.

“Um…yeah, come in,” Brian said in a horse voice.

Liam turned and picked the picture up from the table and continued to stare at it, with a huge smile on his face.

“Mr. Kinney, I’m sorry to disturb you, but may I have a minute?” Dr. Denno asked as he poked his head into the room.

“Sure,” Brian said then turned to his brother, “I’ll be right back,” he said then left the room with the doctor.

“There is someone here to see you,” Denno said the moment they were outside the room.

Brian’s eyes furrowed in confusion. His mother couldn’t have gotten a lawyer that fast!

“Who the fuck is it?” he asked.

“It’s a Mr. Novotney Sir, he’s in the lobby. He say’s he’s a friend of yours,” Denno said.

You could have knocked Brian over with a feather right then and there. He was completely thrown off guard by Denno’s announcement. His mind raced, his heart palpitated and his lungs felt as if they were caving in. He bent over and grabbed his knees as he forced himself to take deep breaths. ‘this can’t be happening….not now’; his mind rebelled. His worse nightmare was coming true - his two worlds were colliding.

Dr. Denno rubbed his back soothingly, “It’s ok Mr. Kinney. No one told him anything. He doesn’t know about Liam. You can tell him you come here for charity work,” he said.

Brian looked up at him with a scorching glare, “Are you fucking serious? Yeah, like he’d believe that,” he said then dropped his head again and fought for breath.

“Do you want me to send him away? I can tell him you already left,” Dr. Denno suggested.

Brian shook his head, “No, no. I’ll talk to him. He’s here, which means he knows something. I have to find out how much he knows, and who else knows. I have to take control of this,” he said emphatically.

Dr. Denno helped him straighten up and steady himself, “Do you want a shot of valium? A small dose to calm you down?” he offered.

Brian looked over at him, “No, I’m fine,” he said. 'Damn I wish I had some of Anita’s shit right now!' He thought to himself.

“Do me a favor, and go sit with Liam. I’ll go talk to Mikey,” he said.

Denno nodded his head and left Brian to deal with his visitor.

Brian took another moment to compose him self then headed for the lobby.

 

@@@@@@

 

Michael was flipping through some Science magazine when Brian entered the room.

“Thank God,” he breathed out in relief. “Everyone is fucking worried about you!”

Brian walked up to Michael and pulled the magazine from his hands, “Stick to the comic books Mikey, they’re more your speed,” he said flippantly.

“Ha ha!,” Michael replied sarcastically, “Seriously, Justin and I have been trying to call you for hours! You’re cell is off!” he said.

Brian’s brow went up at the mention of Justin’s name, Did Justin send Mikey here? Does he know? This, along with a million other questions were running through Brian’s head.

“Yeah, well this is an institution for the mentally challenged. We can’t be upsetting the residents with noisy cell phones now can we?” Brian retorted, relying heavy on his sarcasm.

He didn’t want Mikey to know how upset he was over his presence.

Michael looked around nervously, “Um, yeah, I can understand that. Why the fuck are you here by the way?” he asked.

“The more important question is, why are you here?” Brian deflected.

“I told you, everyone was worried! No one could get a hold of you!” Michael said.

Brian curled his lip in a sneer, “Really Mikey, isn’t the rule to wait at least 24 hours before you send out the hounds? I’ve only been gone a few hours. What the fuck was so important that you had to track me down?” Brian asked trying to sound bored, yet annoyed but not concerned or panicked.

Michael’s face went red, “Um, well, something happened while Lindsey, Gus and me were at the Big Q,” he started.

The blood drained from Brian’s face. He grabbed Michael by his forearms and shook him, “What happened to Gus!” He shouted in his face.

“Gus is fine! He’s fine, really, calm down!” Michael shouted back.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief. He should have known if there was a real emergency, Ted knew how to get in touch with him. The only time Brian turned his cell off was when he was visiting his brother. At that time, Ted had Dr. Denno’s number. Though he was warned NEVER to use it… it was only for extreme emergencies. And that included anything to do with his son.

“Tell me what happened,” he asked feeling a bit calmer now.

“We saw Joan in the store. Worse, she saw Gus. She knows Brian,” Michael said.

 

'Fuck!' That was the ‘accidental’ meeting Joan was talking about earlier.

Brian frowned, “Yeah, well I guess it was inevitable. Did she say anything to upset Gus?” He asked.

“No, but Gus is confused. He’s got lots of questions Bri. I wanted to warn you. Lins has been trying to answer the best she could, but she doesn’t have the answers he needs. He wants to talk to you,” Michael said.

Brian rubbed the back of his neck and nodded his head. His life was just getting more and more complicated by the moment.

“I’ll talk to him,” Brian said though fuck if he knew what he was going to tell his boy. How could he tell him his grandmother was an evil piece of shit and that’s why he’s never told him about her? Not a conversation he was looking forward to, but one that he knew he’d have to have with his boy one day, he just wished he’d have more time…

Brian dropped his hand and looked at Michael, “How did you find out I was here?” he asked the million-dollar question.

Michael stuttered, sputtered, and looked away.

“Come on spill,” Brian demanded.

“Justin found out!” Michael blurted out, “I went to him looking for you and he got worried so he called Ted. But don’t blame Ted! Justin was going to find out one way or another; he was more worried than I was!” Michael said then looked around again with furrowed brows, “Isn’t he here? He left before I did. I was sure he was heading here,” he said.

“No, he’s not here. Not unless he’s outside casing the joint, which wouldn’t surprise me,” Brian said.

It was just like his blond to over dramatize the situation and go into covert mode. When it came to him, he was a tad over protective.

“Maybe,” Michael said, “Exactly why are you here Bri?” he asked.

Brian pulled his bottom lip and gnawed on it. He was struggling with how much he should tell his best friend. He knew Michael could keep a secret…he’s always kept all his secrets, but was it fair to Justin to let Mikey know something so personal, yet keep it from him? Well if his blond was on the grounds, he was sure he already knew. Justin was a top-notch detective. If he didn’t know already, he’d find out soon enough.

“It’s a long story Mikey,” he finally said.

Something akin to ‘understanding’ dawned on Michael’s face.

“You’re fucking one of the Doctors here aren’t you?!” he said, then quickly frowned and shook his head at his best friend.

“You better hope Justin doesn’t find out! I would lecture you, but I don’t have the time. You’ll have to tell me all the gory details on the ride home. I took a cab out here, cost me a fortune. I still need to pack. Ben and I are leaving tonight. Oh, and check your messages, maybe Justin’s called. I hate to be you when he finds out what you’ve been up to,” Michael said shaking his head disapprovingly once more.

Brian smiled at his friend who just gave him a wonderful gift. A reprieve…gotta love Mikey and his over active imagination…though it wasn’t such a stretch considering his past reputation. Better Mikey think him a cad, then a liar. Which is what he was. He’d been lying by omission to his family for years. Brian shook that disturbing thought from his head and pulled his car keys from his pocket.

“You really are a fucking drama queen,” he said tossing him the keys, “Here, go start the car. I’ll be right out,” he said.

Michael caught the keys, “Ok, but don’t be too long!” he said then turned to leave.

Brian waited until Michael left the building before he pulled his cell out to check his messages. There were several from Michael, Justin, Ted, Cynthia, Agnes...wtf? Was everyone and their mother trying to get in touch with him? Brian kept scrolling down then stopped when he saw Carl’s number. One missed call, placed earlier this morning. Brian frowned. His call was way before any of the other calls which meant it had nothing to do with his being M.I.A. He quickly redialed the number, worried there was an issue with his request.

“Horvaths,” Carl answered abruptly.

“Whats up?” Brian asked.

Carl cursed, Brian grew nervous. “Tell me,” he said.

“Hobbs is out of jail. He was sprung last week,” Carl said, hating that he had to do this over the phone, but he had no choice.

Brian cursed this time, loud and viciously. A nurse walked into the lobby.

“Is something wrong Mr. Kinney?” she asked.

“Yes, no….go back to your desk Shelby, I’ll keep my voice down,” he said.

The nurse turned and went back to her desk.

“How the fuck did he get out of jail?” Brian asked in a lower, yet tight voice.

“Fucking kid who gave him up recanted his story. Plus, did you know there were accusations of police misconduct concerning the evidence?” Carl asked.

Brian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger,

“No I didn’t know,” he said.

“Yeah well I’ve been a cop long enough to know when something don’t smell right, and I’m telling you something stinks to high heaven here Kinney, you need to check into this. But not now, now you got a much bigger problem on your hands,” Carl said.

Brian snapped his eyes open… What now!?…

“What?” he asked.

“Just came over the wire, there is a warrant out for Taylor’s arrest. Put out by his own department too. He’s wanted for attempted murder. I called Lewinski, that’s Taylor’s old Sergeant. He told me he did it for his own good. He wants to get Taylor in custody before he does something stupid like really kill Hobbs. Lewinski called Taylor with the bad news about an hour ago,” Carl said.

Brian didn’t think he could take another shock, WTF???? Was there ANYTHING that couldn’t go wrong today?

“I’m on it Carl, thanks for the heads up. Do me a favor though,” he asked.

“Sure, anything what do you need?” Carl asked.

“Put an APB out on Justin. Maybe we can get him before NY does,” Brian said then disconnected the call before Carl could answer.

He was pretty sure Carl had already put the call out. If he had to guess, every cop in Pittsburgh and NY was on the lookout for his blonde. He immediately dialed Justin’s number. It went straight to voice mail.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' Brian ran his hands through his hair. He turned and quickly walked back to the solarium. Denno and his brother were sitting at the table looking at the picture when he entered the room. He schooled his features to look calm.

“Hey, no drooling on my picture!” He said jokingly, a smile plastered on his face. Dr. Denno rose from his chair.

 

“Ah you’re back. Is everything…ok?” he asked.

Brian waved his hand dismissively, “Yes, just another imagined emergency at work. I swear that place can’t survive without me. Problem is I got a bunch of drama queens working for me,” he said rolling his eyes.

Liam, however, wasn’t fooled, “Brr iian, wha..ats wrr..rro..rr..ong?” he asked.

Brian dropped his act and looked at his brother, “Its Justin Liam. I have to go find him,” he said. He never lied to his brother before and he wasn’t going to start now.

“Is.. is h..hee ii..n trr..trro..ublle?” he asked, worry etching his handsome delicate features. Joan was right, he thought briefly. Gus did look a lot like Liam.

“Not if I can help it,” Brian answered then gave his brother a sincere smile, “It will be fine. As soon as I find him, I’ll come back, ok? Until then, promise me you won’t worry,” he said walking over to his brother.

Liam stayed seated, but looked up at his brother, “Yu..you to..too Briii. Don..n..’tt wwo..woorr..ry …” he said.

Brian reached out and smoothed his brothers’ hair. He bent over and kissed the top of his head, “I’ll be fine,” he said then looked over at the doctor.

“No more visits from Joan until I get back,” he said.

Dr. Denno nodded his head. Brian looked back at his brother, who was now looking up at him with troubled eyes,

“Hey, I’ll be back soon. I promise,” he said and that made Liam’s fears ease a bit because if there was one thing he knew for sure about his brother it was that he NEVER broke a promise.

@@@@@

Brian left the hospital and dropped Michael off at his house. Michael didn’t speak a word to him during the whole ride home. Brian thought it was his way of ‘punishing’ him for lying to him about his presumed ‘affair’. He cringed inwardly when he thought how’d his family would react if they ever found out he’d been lying to them his whole life about his brother….When he pulled up to the Novotney/Bruckner house, Michael turned and gave him a hug, making him promise to call later. Brian promised he would and hugged him back. Punishment over…for now. He drove away a little more relieved that one potential disaster had been avoided. Now he could concentrate on getting to his blonde before he did something stupid, or worse, destructive. Hobbs certainly deserved killing, but he'd be damned if he let Justin risk his life for the cause.  
Once he got on the highway, he pulled his cell out and made several calls. The first three were to Justin, all of which went straight to voice mail, and which each voicemail, Brian left a very scanting message. He was beyond pissed at his blonde for acting so recklessly….and after they JUST had this talk about leaving the past behind them! He should have fucking known…the past had a way of creeping up on you when you least expected it. Well fuck it, he thought. They had no choice now, they had to deal with their pasts and take control of it before it took control of them.

The rest of the calls were made to his family telling them he’d be gone for a few days. He looked at the clock on the dashboard… If he were lucky, he’d be in New York before nightfall. He silently prayed he wouldn’t be too late….

 

PART 3

 

“You’re making a big mistake. Do you know who I am???!!!” Justin asked; his agitation at the infuriating cop for pulling him over for a broken turn signal light spilled over in his tone.

“No Sir, but I will as soon as you hand over your license and registration,” the officer replied.

Justin cursed as he leaned over to open his glove compartment, unmindful of the fact that his gun was in there.

“Hold it right there! Back away now! Hands on the dashboard!” The officer shouted having spied the weapon.

Justin realized his mistake a minute too late. 'Fucking great' he thought. A real criminal was on the loose and this asshole was harassing him.

Very slowly and deliberately, Justin put his hands on the dashboard careful not to make any sudden moves. He stole a quick glance over at the officer, already knowing what he’d find. The kid was holding a gun on him. Justin noticed for the first time how young the cop was. Fucking New York’s finest were getting younger and greener every year. Though he had to admit not too long ago he was that cop and just as young and green. Right now however it felt like a lifetime ago.

“I’m a detective for NYPD and I have a license for that gun. Let me get out of the car and show you my identification,” Justin said in what he hoped sounded like a calm rational voice.

The last thing he needed was some rookie losing it and accidentally shooting him. ‘Wouldn’t that be ironic?’ he thought.

 

“Shut the fuck up! I’ll give the order’s here!” The officer said.

Justin sighed and mused silent. 'well this is what I get for rushing off with no plan…what the fuck was I thinking?' The simple answer was that he wasn’t thinking, he was reacting. When Serge told him Chris was out of jail he freaked. The only thought he had was to get to him. But to do what? Kill him? Was that what he was really thinking? Well it may have been his first thought, but that was just an emotional knee jerk response. He really didn’t want to kill Hobbs. The man wasn’t worth him spending the rest of his life in jail over. So why was he here in NYC again?

'Why?'

And there it was. The ‘why’. That’s what compelled him to get in his car and rush off to find his ex treacherous lover. There were a lot of unanswered questions where Hobbs was concerned. He never inquired about the details of the case. All he knew was what Lewinski told him when he woke from the coma. Weston, the drug ringleader of the school, bashed him when he found out he was an undercover cop, and it was Hobbs who gave him that information. The ‘why’ was just too painful for Justin to ask. He didn’t want to know why. He couldn’t handle the ‘why’; but since meeting and falling in love with Brian, Justin now had the courage to seek answers.

After the bashing Justin couldn’t trust his instincts anymore. But Brian changed all that. Brian taught him how to trust in himself again. But more importantly, Brian taught him what true love is. It wasn’t sweet words and promises of happily ever after, as Chris had promised him… it was promising nothing, yet giving everything. Everything that was important. Chris gave him words and empty promises; Brian simply gave ‘himself’.

There was no greater expression of love. No flowers or candy or little pink houses with white fences, just flesh and bones and everything within. That’s what Brian gave him. It sounded easy in the simplest terms, but in reality, that’s all anyone could realistically give to another person that truly mattered, and also realistically enough, the only thing most people were most reluctant to give. Yet Brian gave himself to Justin without reservation or hesitation, and Justin returned the gift.

It was because of what he had with Brian that Justin needed to know why Chris turned on him like he did. Though he now knew his relationship with Chris wasn’t love in the truest form, they did share a very close, affectionate bond. He had trusted Chris and confided his undercover status to him. He would have never done that if he weren’t sure of Chris’ feelings for him. His instincts couldn't have been that off. There had to be a ‘reason’.

Justin had to know what made Chris betray him. He needed closure; he needed answers. He was hoping for an acceptable explanation…he didn’t expect a ‘good’ one, there was no ‘good’ explanation, but there could be an acceptable one….like Chris feared for his life and gave Justin up to save his own ass. That he could accept. Self-preservation…the alternative was that his instincts had been that off…that Chris never had any feelings for him. That explanation was one Justin couldn’t accept. It would put into question the one thing his always relied on, his instincts… his trust in his feelings and that would cast doubt on his unwavering certainty about him and Brian. No. That was something Justin could NOT accept. Justin had to find Chris, and get the answers he needed. But first, he had to get out of this car alive.

“Um, not that I want to rush you, but we can’t sit here like this all day. It’s making me nervous as hell having you point that gun at my head. What do you want me to do? I promise to cooperate. Look, my hands are still on the dashboard. I’m doing just what you instructed. Maybe you should ask me to get out of the car and frisk me,” Justin suggested.

He didn’t want to piss off this kid. He was already scared shitless and a scared person with a gun was a dangerous person.

The officer, who really didn’t look much older than 18, though Justin knew he had to be at least 21, the legal age to be a cop in NY, stood there mulling over Justin’s suggestion.

“Um, ok, get out. SLOWLY! And keep your hands where I can see them,” the officer said.

Justin cautiously opened the door and got out of the car. He then turned around and put his hands on the roof of his car,

“I don’t have a weapon on me. You can check for yourself. My wallet is in my back pocket. You can find my drivers’ license in there. My badge is in the glove compartment with the gun. If you call Sergeant Lewinski at precinct 12, he can vouch for me,” Justin said.

The young officer quickly patted Justin down with one hand, going up one side then down the other. He pulled his wallet from his back jean pocket and flipped it open. He took a minute to read it and then pulled his cuffs out.

“Hands behind your back!” he shouted.

Justin turned to look at him, “What the fuck?! You’re gonna cuff me?” he asked astonished at the cops unreasonable reaction to a fucking broken signal light!

The cop grabbed Justin’s left wrist with his free hand and pinned it up against his back. He used his other hand to press the nose of his gun against the side of Justin’s head,

“I said hands behind your back, NOW!” he growled into his ear.

Justin complied immediately. This fucking kid was out of his mind! He winced as the inexperienced cop cuffed him, pulling on his wrists unnecessarily hard. Once he was cuffed, officer ‘dickhead’, as Justin now decided to refer to him as, ordered him to turn around.

“You have the right to remain silent….”

Justin’s mouth dropped open, “You’re arresting me??? For what!” he demanded.

The cop paused briefly from reading the Miranda rights to answer him,

“For being Justin Taylor,” he said then proceeded to read Justin the rest of his rights.

 

PART 4

 

“Easy now Twink, you’ll wear a hole in the concrete you keep pacing like that,” Nicholas Paulson, who was Justin’s partner when Justin worked at the precinct, cautioned lightly.

Justin threw him a scorching look from the cell he was currently locked up in. Only Nook could get away with calling him ‘twink’ and not get knocked on his ass. It was a nickname the guys at the precinct gave him. Justin often scoffed at it not because it was offensive, but because it was pathetically unimaginative. Though Nook would argue he earned the name not because he was a very young looking gay man, but because of his ‘twinkling’ smile. Nook was also dumb as an ox and completely full of shit most the time. They didn’t call him Nookie Knucklehead for nothing.

Justin came out of the closet at the age of seventeen and never went back in. He was openly gay when he entered the police academy and learned early on that if he wanted to survive he needed to learn how to fight, and fight well. He trained hard, and earned the respect of his commanders and other cadets. His specialty was in martial arts. When he graduated he was assigned to the 12th precinct, which just happened to be located in one of the worse neighborhoods in the city. He was young and green, much like that kid who arrested him, but unlike that kid, he came armed with a bad-ass reputation of his own. As a result, the boys on the beat challenged him at every turn.

The detectives were a bit older, and wiser. They sat back and watched with amusement as the ‘new gay kid’ kicked ass….which really wasn’t hard for Justin. He was a born ‘scraper’, always getting in fights at Saint James School for refusing to be anything other than what he was. As he got older, his fighting skills improved and then with his martial arts training at the academy, he became a force to be reckoned with. Though some of his co-workers were bigger, and stronger, Justin was faster and more strategic. He could beat anyone in the department, including Jacky D, nicknamed so because his boxing skills mirrored that of the famous heavy weight champion, Jack Dempsey.

It didn’t take long for the men at his station to come to have that same respect for his abilities as those in the academy did. Still, being the close-knit family they were, they couldn’t help tease him at times for being gay. Everyone got teased and everyone had some kind of nickname, and none were flattering. It was just how the unit operated. However, right now, Justin didn’t feel much like part of the unit. He felt like a perp.

“Fuck you Nook! I can’t believe the Serge did this to me!” Justin bitched for the hundredth time.

Nook sighed in exasperation, “How many times do I have to explain why we did this?! You just relax and we’ll take care of this. You’ll only be here for one day, two tops. It shouldn’t take longer than that. You hearing me Jus?” Nook asked using his given name relaying the seriousness of his words.

Justin heard perfectly well what Nook was saying, or more accurately what he ‘wasn’t’ saying. He wasn’t saying that his unit was out there hunting down Hobbs for him, though that was exactly what he was intimating. And that was serious as fuck. Justin didn’t want his coworkers going after Hobbs. If they killed him, because he ‘resisted arrest’ or ‘pulled a gun’ on them…or something that would justify the act in a report…then he’d never get the answers he was seeking. He tried to tell Lewinski and Nook that but no one was listening to him.

“I TOLD you Nook, I just want to talk to Hobbs! I’m not going to kill him and I CERTAINLY don’t wish him dead. Not at this point anyway, and not by anyone’s hands I care about. He’s not worth it,” Justin tried one more time to explain.

“Sure, I know. You just want to talk to him, I got it,” Nook said and winked at him.

Justin threw his hands up and cursed.

“You’ll get your chance,” Nook reassured him then leaned in against the cell bars and added in a whisper, “at the morgue.”

Justin flopped down on the cot in the cell and dropped his head in his hands,

“I’m so fucked,” he said to no one in particular.

“Not yet Sunshine, but give me a minute, I just got here.”

Justin’s head snapped up at Brian’s voice.

“Brian!” He yelled out never happier to see his lover.

Nook quickly turned around startled by the mans’ sudden appearance.

“Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?” He asked clearly unnerved.

The walls in the cellblock were notorious for amplifying every little sound yet he didn’t hear the visitor’s approach.

“Easy Nook, he does that to everyone. He’s stealthy as fuck, its part of the reason he’s the best PI in Pittsburgh…and my partner,” Justin said.

Nook looked back and forth between Justin and the new guy,

“Partner? You dumping me Twink?” he asked.

Brian raised a brow at the name, “Twink?” he asked in a dangerous tone.

Justin laughed, “It’s ok Brian. Nicknames are practically mandatory around here. Everyone’s got one and all are equally insulting. Meet my ex partner, Nicholas Paulson, or as we affectionately call him, Nook, short for Nookie Knucklehead,” Justin made the introduction.

“Knucklehead!? I thought I’m called Nook because it’s short for Nicholas!” Nook said.

Justin threw Brian a knowing look, “As you can see, in some cases, the nick fits,” he said.

Brian laughed, and it felt good. He was so fucking worried he wouldn’t get to Justin in time. Nothing short of profound relief flooded him when Horvath called and told him his blond was being held at his old precinct.

“Don’t take it personally Nook, I’ve got a few unflattering nicknames floating around out there myself. None of course that anyone would call me to my face,” Brian said.

Nook snorted crudely, “I bet,” he said looking Brian up and down, “So you’re the one who stole my partner away, huh?” he challenged.

Brian’s mood was too light at having found his blond safe and sound to be baited,

“Guilty as charged,” he said smiling at the man.

Nook looked back at Justin, “Well I’ll be damned. Say it ain’t so Twink. You’re not dumping me for pretty boy here, are you?” he asked, and from his tone, Brian thought he just might be seriously hurt by the prospect.

“Ahhh Nook, you know no one can take your place. You were the best partner a cop could have. You always had my back, but you see I’m out of police work now and Brian is more than my ‘professional’ partner, if you get my drift,” Justin explained.

Nook, true to his Nickname, stared at Justin blindly for a few seconds before the meaning of Justin’s words hit him.

“Oh fuck Twink, I realllly didn’t need that image in my head,” he said.

Justin and Brian laughed.

“I’m sure the image is far worse than the actual live performance, which we’d be happy to give you if you let me in that cell with ‘Twink’,” Brian said casting a side-glance at Justin expecting to see the scowl on his blondes face.

“I left New York, AND that Nickname behind Brian,” Justin warned.

“Sorry Mister, but no can do. Twink’s gotta stay in there until…um…well until we get matters settled,” Nook said.

Brian raised his brow at him in question; the gesture of course was completely lost on Nook.

“Hey Nook, can I have a few minutes alone with Brian?” Justin asked.

He knew Nook wasn’t going to say anything in front of Brian, and Justin couldn’t explain the situation in front of Nook without implicating both of them in what was going down.

“Sure. I got some paperwork to catch up on. Call me if you need anything,” Nook said.

“We’ll be fine,” Justin said.

Nook nodded his head in parting then turned and left them, his footsteps echoing loudly down the hall.

Once he was out of sight, Brian turned to the cell reaching in between the bars and grabbed Justin by his shirt, pulling him up against the iron rods.

“Fuck I was worried about you,” he said right before he crushed his lips against Justin’s.

Justin moaned deeply into his mouth and deepened the kiss. Arms slipped between iron bars as each man reached for the other desperate for the contact; cold metal pressed against their cheeks.

“I should kick your ass for scaring me like this,” Brian mumbled in between hot, wet sloppy kisses.

Justin grunted and tried to pull him closer, feeling the steel rods crush into his chest,

“I can think of other more pleasant things you can do to my ass right now,” he panted into his lovers’ mouth.

They struggled against the bars for several more minutes, frustrated with the limited contact, before Brian pulled back and looked into Justin’s passion filled, dark cobalt eyes.

“What the fuck are we doing here? We could be back at the loft fucking our brains out,” he said with a bit of edge in his voice.

Justin knew the source of that edge came from fear.

“I know, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean to worry you,” he said contritely.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it, “What is it you want Justin?” he asked.

Justin grabbed the bars and banged his forehead against the metal, “Fuck if I know. But I know what I don’t want,” he said in a low voice.

Brian leaned in and touched Justin’s forehead where he banged it. It was slightly red, he gently caressed it with his fingers, “What don’t you want…” he asked softly

“I don’t want to go on like this…not knowing,” Justin said leaning into Brian’s caress.  
“What do you want to know?” Brian asked as he continued to caress his blonds forehead.

“Why… I just want to know why,” Justin sighed then pulled back. He held on to the bars with both hands and leaned all the way back.

“I need to talk to Chris,” he said holding Brian’s gaze.

Brian’s chest tightened a bit, ‘Chris’… Justin never referred to his ex as anything but ‘Hobbs’. Now it was ‘Chris’. It was more…personal. He squelched down the uneasy, unrecognizable feeling that rose up in him.

“And you think you’ll get the answers you need from Chris?” Brian couldn’t help the sarcastic inflection in his tone when he uttered Hobb’s given name.

Justin flinched, “Brian please, this isn’t about us. I just need to know….”

“Why he sent some lunatic with a bat after you?” Brian bit out caustically.

Justin’s face turned red, “YES, that’s exactly what I need to know!” he returned with just as much rancor.

Brian scoffed, “What the fuck does it matter? Would it change anything?” he threw at him angrily.

He knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn’t help himself. Part of him acknowledged that this was a huge step forward for Justin; he should be more supportive of his decision. The mere fact that he was ready to face Hobb’s again was a good indication he well on his way to healing. But another part of Brian warned against it. Justin wasn’t looking for closure or healing, per-se, he was looking for ‘answers’; for some sort of justification for the man’s actions. That was dangerous. Absolutely NOTHING could justify what Hobb’s did in Brian’s view. Answers wouldn’t help Justin move on; it would only, once again, give him cause to mask the true horror of what happened to him with ‘excuses’. As if the act in itself could be deemed ‘acceptable’ under certain circumstances. Well it wasn’t and never would be. Brian wished with all his heart that the son of a bitch would kindly do them the favor of dying and once and for all be out of their lives!

He stepped back from the cell and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Brian, stop and listen to me, please,” Justin said sympathizing with Brian’s frustration. If the roles were reversed, Justin would be out for Hobb’s blood, and not sanctioning a ‘reunion’, which is what Justin’s request sounded like…even to his own ears.

Brian turned to look at Justin, “I’m listening,” he said.

Justin took a deep breath and tried to explain.

“This isn’t about Chri…Hobbs,” he caught himself before making that mistake again. He was too in tuned to Brian not to notice how it hurt him when he used his ex’s first name, “this is about me. And I’m here because of you Brian, so just remember that when I tell you why I need to see Hobbs,” Justin said and waited for Brian’s response.

Brian gave him a ‘what the fuck’ look but remained silent.

Justin swallowed and continued, “I always knew ‘something’ was missing when I was with Hobbs. I didn’t know what it was until I met you. WE belong. That’s the simplest way I can explain it. We ‘fit’. Hobbs and I just didn’t ‘fit’…not like we do anyway, but he and I DID connect on some level. We were very close Brian. I knew him well. We were friends, and lovers…I trusted him…” he said the last part in a low dejected voice.

Brian walked back to the cell and reached in and grabbed Justin’s hands, urging him to continued.

Justin squeezed his hands and smiled sadly at him.

“I couldn’t have been that wrong Brian…After I got bashed I put it all out of my head. I guess I went into emotional shock, and never came out. Truly the last thing I remember where Hobbs was concerned was Lewinski telling me that Chris Hobbs blew my cover to Cody Weston, and Cody bashed me. He told me that Hobbs was the inside person at the school working with the kids. They found drugs in his apartment, and emails to Cody from his computer telling him I was a narc. After hearing that, I shut down. I never followed the case; I didn’t want to know the details. I was too…hurt.”

Brian pulled Justin against the bars and wrapped his arms around Justin’s back.

“I know Sunshine, I know…” he said soothingly.

Justin melted into his embrace for a few minutes before pulling back.

“Brian, there has to be more to the story. I’m a good detective, I couldn’t have been that wrong. And before you say it, yeah, I know my judgment may have been off because I was sleeping with Hobbs, but not THAT off! I couldn’t have been so wrong about the case, or him… You know by the time I told Chris I was undercover, I had already built a case against another teacher! Stanley Kramer. I was so close to getting into a position where I’d be running drugs for him…Cody was going to set up a meeting. I told Lewinski about my findings when he told me they arrested Hobbs and he said that Cody and Hobbs had set it up to look like Kramer was the supplier. He said that Hobbs had known for a while that I was undercover,” Justin paused at this point and pulled Brian against the bars, his eyes searching his, desperate to be believed.

“Brian that’s NOT true! Chris had NO idea I was undercover. When I told him he freaked. NO one could have faked that kind of reaction. Plus, he wasn’t just shocked, he was hurt! He felt our whole relationship was a lie, and that I was using him. He never asked about my investigation. He was totally focused on ‘us’! Or what he believed we were. We had a huge fight, and the next day I got bashed. So yeah, it wasn’t a big stretch for me to believe that he was the one who outted me at the time. My judgment was clouded by my emotions. So I accepted it, and moved on. But now, now that there is no more pain over that betrayal, I have to know what really went down …for my own sanity! This case is not closed Brian. I need answers. I had convincing evidence that Kramer was the inside supplier in that school. I wasn’t stupid. I checked Hobbs out before I started fucking him. I saw no evidence of his involvement in the drug ring. All clues led to Kramer. If I was wrong, I need to know ‘where’ I went wrong. What did I miss? How could I have fucked up a case that bad? And how could I be so wrong about the man I was sleeping with? I’ve always trusted my instincts Brian, and I’m telling you, they weren’t off then, and they are not off now. Something is not right.”

By the time Justin finished telling his side of things to Brian, there were tears in his eyes. Brian knew exactly what Justin was feeling. He was doubting ‘himself’. He knew from experience with Conrad how devastating losing faith in yourself could be.

“Ok then, we talk to Hobbs,” Brian said and Justin let out a choked relieved sigh.

"God I love you,” he said in a shaky voice.

Brian leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was tender and slow and filled with emotion and promise. It lasted until the echo of footsteps coming down the hall reached their ears.

Brian was the first to pull back and turn to see who was coming. A tall man in a cheap black suit walked towards them. Justin craned his head to see who it wasn’t but couldn’t from his vantage point.

“Who is it?” he asked.

Brian kept his eyes on the man, “My guess would be a lawyer. Did you request one Sunshine?” he asked.

“Um, no,” Justin said.

The man approached them with a determined stride. Brian could sense his anxiety; he could smell the man’s fear or maybe it was desperation. He stopped in front of Brian and nodded curtly, he then turned to Justin.

“Mr. Taylor?” he asked.

“Why don’t we start with who the fuck are you?” Brian answered for Justin.

The man looked back at Brian, “I’m Frank Palmer. Mr. Hobbs lawyer.”

Justin gasped, Brian’s eyes narrowed.

“How the fuck did you get in here?” Brian asked.

“I told the detective in charge I was the public attorney assigned to Mr. Taylor,” Mr. Palmer stated, totally devoid of any shame over the blatant lie.

“And he believed you?” Brian countered.

“More like he feared it might be true, which isn’t surprising considering how they run things around here,” Palmer said.

Brian let that one slide, for now. He was more interested in what Hobb’s lawyer would want with Justin.

“And what would Mr. Hobb’s Lawyer have to speak to Justin Taylor about?” Brian spoke his thoughts, mindful that he was interrogating the guy on Justin’s behalf.

Justin kept quiet, content to let Brian take charge of this conversation.

“Mr. Hobbs requests a meeting with Mr. Taylor, but is afraid for his safety. He’s in hiding.” Mr. Palmer said.

Brian snorted disbelievingly, “Why would Hobb’s be in hiding? He’s a free man. No one is going after him with a bat,” he all but snarled at the man.

Palmer backed up in the face of Brian’s ire.

“No, he only has half of this department out combing the streets looking for him. They’ve been to his house, and his sister’s house,” he said.

“They went to Teresa’s house?” Justin asked.

Brian heard the panic in his voice and looked at him questioningly.

Palmer turned to look back at Justin.

“I’m assuming you’re Justin Taylor. Mr. Hobbs hired me to contact you in desperate hopes that you might help him,” the man had the audacity to say.

Justin gaped at him, “Are you fucking serious?” he asked.

Brian stood by, arms folded over his chest.

“Quite. You see your ‘co-workers’ at the station here paid his sister an ‘unpleasant’ visit in their quest to find Mr. Hobbs. I think we can all assume they weren’t looking for him to invite him to the policeman’s ball. I advised Mr. Hobbs that this wasn’t a good idea; that in all probability, you being in jail was just a ruse to provide you an alibi while your buddy’s do your dirty work,” he said.

“That’s it counselor. I advise that you take a fucking walk now while your legs are still working,” Brian threatened moving forward. How dare the man make such an accusation!

Justin reached out between the bars and grabbed Brian’s arm. Brian turned to look at him and Justin just shook his head. In that one gesture Brian understood that Justin was confirming what the Lawyer said. The cops at this station were out hunting down Hobbs. He really shouldn’t have been surprised, cops defended their own and there was nothing more dangerous in their minds than a cop killer. The law be damned if they ever came across one. And Hobbs came too close to getting Justin killed. Still, that was NOT Justin’s style. If he wanted to kill Hobbs, he’d do it himself, he’d certainly not put his friends and co-workers in jeopardy.

Justin looked back at the Lawyer.

“I’m Justin Taylor. Is Teresa and her daughter alright?” he asked.

“Yes, they are fine,” he said.

Justin sighed in relief. He turned to Brian.

“Teresa is Chris’ sister, and a single mom. I believe her daughter is just starting school this year. She’s the only family Chris has. I baby sat Mia, her daughter, on several occasions. She barely scrapes by on her waitress salary and with the little Chris can afford to throw her now and then. He isn’t exactly swimming in it on a teacher’s salary. Another reason why I can’t believe he had part in that drug ring. He loved his sister, and helped her whenever he could. Surely he’d given her more if he were dealing in drugs. There’s a lot of money in that white stuff, you know this,” he explained.

Brian had so many conflicting emotions going through him he thought he might explode. Justin was ‘humanizing’ Chris Hobbs. Worse, he was making sense about the possibility that all was not as it seemed concerning his ex lover, and that case. Brian remembered what Horvath’s told him about something not ‘smelling’ right at how the investigation was conducted. Perhaps it was time him and Justin did a little investigating on their own.

Palmer heard Justin’s explanation to the tall man, whose name he’d yet to get, with keen interest. It wasn’t so much the words, but the manner in which they were spoken. It was obvious to him that Mr. Taylor had genuine affection for Ms. Hobbs. Perhaps his client was right. Maybe he would help.

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat to get the men’s attention, “So will you help Mr. Hobbs? Or should I just leave and pretend I was never here?” he asked.

Brian cursed and turned away. He knew what Justin’s answer would be, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. He knew Justin once loved this man. He didn’t know which would be worse for his blonde. Finding out his ex lover didn’t betray him…or that his instincts were that off, and Hobbs was exactly as the guys at the precinct painted him. Whatever the outcome, Brian was determined to shield Justin from as much pain as he could.

“I don’t know how I can help Mr. Hobbs. As you can see, I’m behind bars and they won’t let me go. Regardless of what you think their motives may be, I can assure you I am NOT here by choice,” Justin said.

It was the truth. He wasn’t there by choice, but he wasn’t going to give up his co-workers either.

Palmer frowned, “I could petition a judge for your release, but I don’t have much pull in this town. The judges around here are pretty tight with your department. I’d have to go out of district, and I don’t think any judge would want to step on any toes on my behalf,” he said.

 

Brian cursed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
“I think I know someone who does have that kind of pull,” he said turning around to face Justin.

Justin’s eyes widened, “Of course, Lucas,” he said.

“It’s worth a shot. I was going to call him on a different matter earlier that required his special skills, and connections, before I got distracted with you going MIA on me,” Brian said.

“Oh? What other matter?” Justin asked.

‘Fuck!’ Brian had totally forgotten about Joan’s threats. He had yet to tell Justin about his brother. Well now certainly wasn’t the time.

“Later, right now let’s get you out of here. Then Mr. ‘off the rack’ can take us to Hobbs,” Brian said.

Palmer bristled at the insult, but kept quiet. Justin watched as Brian made the call. Something was up that had nothing to do with Hobbs. As if they didn’t have enough on their plate right now, Brian was burdening another problem…Justin could tell. But he couldn’t force Brian to confide in him what it was. He was confident his lover would tell him when he was ready. He just worried they’d be able to weather that storm, after this one. Fuck he still wasn’t sure they were going to survive this one!

@@@@

Two hours later, Lucas secured a release for Justin by pulling in a favor form a Judge he knew in the area and all three men piled into Palmers pitiful excuse for a car. Brian drove making sure to ditch any tails they might have.

The anticipation and anxiety in the car was palpable. Neither man knew how they would react when they came face to face with the source of Justin’s past pain. Innocent or not, Hobbs had been at the core of Justin’s issues for so long. The situation was as volatile as it got. It was unclear if they would help or hurt Hobbs cause. Justin would be the determining factor in the outcome of this meeting. And what ever Justin decided, Brian would back him. Even if that meant a drive to the desert to dispose of one…or maybe two bodies…

323 Monroe Street….Knickerbocker.

That’s where Palmer directed Brian to pull over and park at. The neighborhood was run down, but not the ghetto. Justin was familiar with the area. He got out of the car and looked up at the tall apartment complex. Brian walked up behind him and put his arms around his waist.

“You ready for this?” he asked.

Justin let out a harsh cynical laugh.

“No,” he said then pushed away from Brian’s embrace.

“But one way or another, this is going down,” he said then headed towards the building.

Palmer reached out and touched Brian’s arm, temporally preventing him from following the blond.

“What does he mean by that?” he asked.

Brian turned to him with a smirk on his face that made the hair on the back of the counselors’ neck stand up,

“He means, that if things go wrong, we might be in need of a shovel…and some sun tan lotion,” he said then shrugged the man off and followed Justin into the building…leaving a very confused and nervous Lawyer in his wake.


	19. Chapter 19

_...323 Monroe Street....Knickerbocker. That's where Palmer directed Brian to pull over and park the car. The neighborhood was run down, but not the ghetto. Justin was familiar with the area. He got out of the car and looked up at the tall apartment complex. Brian walked up behind him and put his arms around his waist._

 _"You ready for this?" he asked._

 _....Justin let out a harsh, cynical laugh. "No," he said, pushing away from Brian's embrace. "But one way or another, this is going down," he said before heading towards the building's entrance._

 _Palmer reached out and touched Brian's arm, temporarily preventing him from following the blond. "What does he mean by that?" he asked._

 _Brian turned to him with a smirk on his face that made the hair on the back of the counselor's neck stand up._

 _"He means that if things go wrong, we might be in need of a shovel...and some sun tan lotion," he said as he shrugged the man off and followed Justin into the building...._

\- - - -

 

The stench of urine filled their nostrils the moment they walked into the lobby of the building. Justin stopped in front of the scarred metal doors of the elevator and turned to look at Hobbs's lawyer.

"What floor?" he asked.

"Mr. Taylor, perhaps we should talk before we go up," Frank Palmer answered nervously.

Brian was standing behind him with a scowl on his face. "You had the whole ride over here to talk counselor, just tell him what fucking floor Hobbs is on," he said in a menacing tone.

"Sixth. He's on the sixth floor. I just want you to be prepared, that's all," Frank stammered out uneasily.

Justin stabbed the grimy call button with his forefinger. "Save it. Nothing can prepare me for this. Let's just get this over with," he said.

The elevator doors creaked open and Brian physically pushed the lawyer inside. All three men rode up in silence. Brian wanted to say something to Justin but the words wouldn't come to him. What could he say? He was less prepared than Justin was to see Hobbs. He had no idea how either of them was going to react. He just hoped the stupid lawyer wouldn't get in the way.

The bell dinged and the doors opened to reveal a long hallway. The men stepped out looking up and down the corridor. There were several doors lining the hall. Justin turned to look at Frank. "Which apartment?" he asked.

Frank canted his head towards the third door down to their left. Justin swiftly turned in that direction and, within seconds, found himself standing in front of the door...the door that would open up to this past. He could feel Brian's breath on the back of his neck and was grateful for his presence. He took a deep, fortifying breath and knocked....

Chris Hobbs paced the confines of the small apartment contemplating all the events that led up to his current predicament...and wondered, not for the first time, what the fuck he ever did to deserve this fate. Other than love the wrong man....

Chris had always led a simple, uncomplicated life. Well, before all this had happened. He certainly wasn't the type to attract this kind of trouble. Anyone who knew him would describe him as being "ordinary" - an unassuming, and certainly, uninteresting man. He came from humble beginnings. His father was a mill worker, his mother a seamstress, and he was the first in his family to graduate college. His parents were very proud of him and Chris was grateful that they lived long enough to see some of his accomplishments, though he was morbidly thankful that they weren't alive today to witness what had become of him. They had died in a car accident several years back leaving him and his younger sister, Teresa, orphaned.

Teresa was devastated by the loss. She was just 19 at the time. Chris took care of her the best he could but she never quite got over their parents' deaths. She started drinking and hanging out with the wrong people. It wasn't long before she found herself pregnant and alone; never really knowing who the father of her child was. However, as fate would have it, giving birth to her daughter, Mia, was the best thing that could have happened to his sister. She sobered up quickly, got a job waitressing, and with his help, was able to provide her daughter with a good life. Things had really turned around for her up until the tragedy, his tragedy, had caused her whole world to come crashing down around her.

Not three years after Mia was born, Chris found himself in a mess of such magnitude it not only destroyed his life, it nearly destroyed the lives of his sister and niece. He was convicted of a crime he didn't commit, lost his job, his house, his freedom, his dignity...but worse, his sister and niece were thrown into the streets because of his incarceration. Without the money he gave her every month she couldn't afford her apartment, so she was evicted and had to go on welfare. She now lived in a shitty part of the city and was forced to work nights at some sleazy strip club just to make ends meet.

Out of everything that had happened to him, none of it compared to the anguish he felt over his sister's plight because of his troubles. Troubles, in hindsight, he brought upon himself. He should have never gotten involved with a student! He knew better but Justin was...well, different. Though he acted and sounded like the other students, there was a seasoned maturity about him that captivated Chris. He had eyes that knew more than someone of his supposedly tender years should know. And if that wasn't clue enough, the fact that he fucked Chris like he had never been fucked before should have been evidence enough that Justin was no kid! He was just too fucking good in bed!

Chris shook his head sadly...yeah he should have known better. The "student" he fell in love with turned out to be a man. An undercover cop, no less, who was just using him to get to the bad guy. The ironic part was that not only did Chris not know who the bad guy was, he ended up being fingered as the bad guy because of his relationship with a cop! It would be funny in an Eddie Murphy type of comedy, but this was no movie, this was real life. His life...which at the moment wasn't worth spit.

His lover betrayed him, the courts failed him, his so-called friends abandoned him, and lady justice remained blind to his cause. Except for his sister, no one believed he was innocent. Not the jury, not the cops at the 12th precinct, and certainly not the guards at the prison who never let an opportunity go by without expressing their beliefs regarding his guilt - so much so it nearly killed him. And now that he was free, the good old boys from the 12th were determined to finish the job the prison guards failed to do. He was being hunted down like a dog.

Chris was ready to just skip town and move to Mexico but when the cops ransacked Teresa's apartment in their zeal to get to him he knew he couldn't flee. He had to stay and clear his name, for his sister and niece's sakes. They would never be safe as long as he was on the run. The cops would make their lives a living hell. He couldn't allow that to happen. But he needed help. He had no friends left and, ironically enough, the only one who could help him in this situation was the very person who got him in this situation to begin with! He hated it but he had no choice. So he asked his old college buddy Frank to go to Justin on his behalf. If anyone could pull it off it would be Frank. He did, after all, already pull off one miracle for him - he got him freed.

Chris always maintained his innocence but he couldn't afford another lawyer for an appeal. So he looked up an old friend of his, Frank Palmer, and asked him if he could look at his case. He and Frank roomed together in college, and though Chris hadn't been in touch with him in years, Frank agreed to help him. Frank was a low-rate lawyer working out of a dime store law firm in Brooklyn. He had very little court experience since his specialty was realty law, but surprisingly, or maybe not so surprising, the evidence against Chris was so flimsy that even an inexperienced lawyer was able to get his conviction overturned! The DA at the time of his first trial and the NYPD fabricated evidence against him and his lawyer at the time was either too lazy or too stupid to discredit it. As a result, he spent the last two years doing hard time in prison. There was "special" treatment for cop killers in prison that Chris was given. Even though he wasn't convicted of murder, he was convicted of conspiracy to murder a police officer and the guards in prison considered that an equally punishable offense. He spent a lot of time in the hole, time he used to think. He knew he was framed, but by whom, or why, still remained a mystery.

Chris couldn't believe Justin was part of the frame up. He knew in his heart Justin wouldn't have betrayed him like that, regardless of how badly their relationship ended. Yes, Justin had lied to him, and betrayed their trust, but he would never turn on Chris so viciously. On the contrary, it was Justin who was horribly betrayed. He was the one who got bashed. Chris didn't know who blew Justin's cover. Perhaps it was the same person, or persons, who framed him. Not that it mattered. Justin believed he was responsible for the attack. Of that Chris was certain. But even so, Justin wouldn't want revenge so much that he'd fabricate evidence, or be part of any such scheme to get even. If Justin had any inkling Chris was being framed he would have spoken up.

Chris believed this with all his heart, but not because Justin was a paragon of virtue. On the contrary, he was a lying, conniving, ruthless bastard who used Chris. His duplicity was unforgivable. No, Chris believed it because there was one undisputable fact about his ex lover that Chris had intimate knowledge of: he had an unquestionable reverence for the law. So much so that he'd do whatever he had to, including tricking Chris into believing he was someone he was not, in order to ensure justice was served. But, as it turned out, what had been done to Chris was an injustice of colossal proportions. He would appeal to Justin's professional integrity and pray he would help him...if not for his sake, then for Teresa's. Over the time they were together, Justin had gotten close to Teresa and Mia. He may turn his back on Chris, but he wouldn't turn his back on his sister and niece...or so he hoped.

Chris walked over to the window and peered down into the street. It was getting dark and Frank hadn't called. He said he would call once he'd spoken to Justin. What if he wasn't successful in getting Justin to listen to him? He knew firsthand how stubborn his ex could be. There was a very real possibility that Justin wasn't coming. If that was the case then all hope would be lost. Maybe, he thought, I can take Teresa and Mia with me to Mexico. We could start over...change our identities....

"Knock, knock!"

The unexpected sound of someone knocking at the door made Chris jump back from the window. No one knew he was here and Frank hadn't called him yet. It couldn't be him so who could it be? The only answer was the cops. Somehow they must have tracked him down. Chris's eyes darted to the open window and he wondered how badly he would be hurt if he jumped six stories....

"Open up Chris, it's Justin."

Chris sucked his breath in at the sound of Justin's voice. A voice he hadn't heard in over two years.

He came.

His mind was having trouble wrapping itself around that fact. Justin was actually here. Chris's hands trembled and his heart raced wildly. After all this time he was about to see his ex again. Two years and a lifetime stood between him and the door. The enormity of the moment was not lost on him. His legs shook violently as he went to face his past and possibly, the hope to his future....

Justin didn't know what to expect when he first saw Chris again. He had no idea how he would feel. A whole list of emotions was possible from feeling nostalgic over what once "was" to severe anger and need for revenge at his ex's betrayal. But what he never expected to feel was pity. And that was the first pang of emotion that hit him upon seeing Chris on the other side of the door.

"Chris..." he whispered softly.

The look on Justin's face, and the sympathetic way in which he uttered his name was Chris's undoing. The weight of everything that had led him to this one moment in time suddenly crashed in on him. His temples throbbed, his body trembled, and he was having trouble breathing. He felt weak and dizzy.

"Justin..." he managed to choke out right before he collapsed into the blonds’ arms.

Justin wasn't prepared for his reaction and almost dropped Chris.

"Brian, help me get him inside," he said over his shoulder.

Brian, for his part, was just as taken aback by Hobbs's appearance as Justin was. He was nothing like Brian expected. The man was a mess. He was impossibly gaunt and ghostly pale. Bluish bruises stood out starkly against his sallow complexion, and dark circles framed his sunken eyes. The man looked literally like the walking dead. It was apparent he had served some serious hard time, but it wasn't his bruises or emaciated state that were most telling of his abuse, it was the look in his eyes. Hobbs had the gaze of a man well used and on the edge of losing his mind. He was one step away from a razor blade to his wrist and Brian didn't know if that was such a bad option. It would end his misery, and ours, he selfishly thought. But regardless of what he was feeling, his blond asked for his help so he helped Justin carry the broken man back into the apartment as the lawyer followed on their heels and closed the door behind them.

"Where do you want him?" Brian asked looking around the barely furnished room. The apartment was a dump. There was filth everywhere. The only furniture he could see was an overturned wooden milk crate and a badly stained recliner that looked like it was collected from the dump.

"In the chair. I doubt there's a bed in the bedroom," Justin said.

Brian helped Justin get Hobbs over to the chair while Frank ran to the kitchen to get some water for his friend.

"Fuck! There's no glass," he said looking around for something to put the water in.

Brian pulled his handkerchief out and handed it to Frank.

"Here, soak this and we'll squeeze it into his mouth. Frank took the handkerchief from Brian and ran it under the cold water. He then brought it over to Chris, who was just coming around and pressed it to his lips.

"Here, suck on this," Frank said.

Chris instinctively pulled the wet material into his mouth. The cool water felt good. When he had enough, he pushed it away.

"Thanks," he said, his eyes never leaving Frank's. He was afraid to look at Justin...afraid of what he might see in his gaze.

"Chris, when was the last time you ate?" Justin asked, his voice harsh.

Chris reluctantly turned to look at Justin.

"I don't remember," he said swallowing hard. Justin was looking at him with concern, and a bit of anger.

Brian snorted suspiciously from behind Justin. Chris's eyes darted to him warily and then back to Justin.

"You came," he said in an awe-filled voice. He couldn't believe he was actually here after everything that happened...well, everything that he believed had happened.

Brian snorted again, more loudly this time.

"Observant little fucker isn't he?" he said sarcastically.

Justin shot him a stern look.

"Let me handle this, okay?" he said.

Brian scowled yet kept his silence. Justin pulled the milk crate over and sat on it facing Chris.

"I'm here for me got it? Make no mistake, Chris, this is about me, and only me. I really could give a fuck about your sorry state right now. I'm here because I need to hear from your own mouth, why you did it," Justin said coldly.

Chris sat up straight and looked Justin dead in the eye.

"I didn't," he said without inflection.

Justin narrowed his eyes and held his gaze.

"You didn't...what?" he prompted.

"I didn't tell anyone who you were. I didn't blow your cover. That night, after you told me and we fought, I went out and got drunk. Real drunk. And then I went home with some guy. I didn't find out what happened to you until late the next day when I got a visit from the detectives," Chris said.

Justin's mouth grew tight.

"Don't fucking lie to me Chris! They found drugs in your apartment and an email to Weston telling him I was narc!" he growled out at him.

Chris leaned forward aggressively.

"I'm NOT lying! What email? This is the first I'm hearing of any email! And I don't do drugs! You know this. I can't even hold my liquor! And what does that mean...‘narc'? What's a narc!?" he asked, confusion clearly etched all over his face.

Chris's confusion sparked Justin's own. He distinctly remembered Lewinski reading to him part of the email Chris had sent to Cody Weston, the boy who bashed him. It was right after he woke from his coma. Lewinski was at his bedside. He was there to tell him that Chris, his lover, had blown his cover. He had brought the email as evidence. Justin didn't want to believe it but after hearing the contents of that email, Justin had to accept the ugly truth that he was betrayed in the worse manner...by someone he trusted, and cared for deeply.

He thought back to that day. He remembered the word "narc" being used several times in the email. It was a slang term used on the streets when referring to an undercover narcotics officer.

"Be careful, we have a narc in our school" and "I don't want this coming back to bite me in the ass, get rid of that narc before he brings us all down" were some of what Justin remembered being in that email to Cody. Upon reflection, it didn't sound like Chris at all. Chris wouldn't use phrasing like that, and he certainly wouldn't use a word like "narc." Though Justin would be the first to admit that he might not have known Chris as well as he thought he did, there was no mistaking the legitimate confusion the man was currently displaying as to the existence of that email and the meaning of the word "narc." Which meant he didn't write that email.

Justin looked over at Brian. He needed someone with some objectivity to advise him. He was starting to believe Chris, and he needed to know if he had cause to believe him, or if he was being biased because he wanted to believe him.

Brian knew what Justin was silently asking him and shrugged his shoulders. He wanted to believe Chris was lying, but something was telling him maybe he wasn't. Brian was good at reading people and either Chris was a really, really good liar, or he was telling the truth. Brian hated to think it was the latter, but he wouldn't use his bias to steer Justin wrong.

Brian turned his attention to Chris.

"This email wasn't presented at the trial?" he asked.

Chris shook his head violently.

"No. I would remember an email! The trial was over before it began. All they had was a signed confession from Weston and a motive...that's all the jury heard and needed to convict me," he answered.

Brian looked back over to Justin.

"What do you know about this email?" he asked.

Justin frowned in thought for a moment.

"Lewinski said they found it when they did a sweep of Chris's place. It was sent the night before the attack and it was very incriminating. It doesn't make sense he wouldn't present it to the DA for trial," he said.

"Makes perfect sense if he broke protocol. That email was incriminating evidence and should have been tagged and locked up. If the DA knew Lewinski took it to you in the hospital he wouldn't chance using it. Hobbs's lawyer could have claimed it was tampered with and that would have compromised his whole case. Remember the O.J. trial? Tampered evidence cast doubt in the jury's mind and he got off. The DA was too smart to make that mistake. Besides, he probably didn't think he needed it anyway - not with Weston's confession," Brian explained.

Chris reached over and put his hand on Justin's knee. Justin jumped up, tilting the milk crate over in the process.

"Don't fucking touch me," he said.

Chris sat back. "I'm sorry. I just...I wasn't home that night! I didn't write that email! I went to Foxibois in the village that night and left with some guy! I spent the night at his place and didn't go back home until the next morning! I swear I never wrote any email!" he said, desperate for Justin to believe him.

"This trick got a name?" Brian asked.

Chris slumped back in the chair and threw his arm over his eyes.

"Not one I got," he said dejectedly.

Brian looked over at Justin to gauge how he was taking all of this. He looked like a coiled snake, ready to either bolt or attack. He was struggling with believing Chris. There was no solid evidence that he was telling the truth, but Brian knew his blond wanted to believe him. He turned his gaze back to Chris.

"What about the bartender? Or bouncer? Do you think anyone at Foxi's can identify you from that night?" Brian asked, trying to find something for his blond to hold on to, though why he was doing it, he had no idea. If, and that was a scary if, Hobbs was telling the truth that meant the man Justin once loved didn't betray him. And he had no idea how Justin would process that.

Chris pulled his arm away from his eyes and looked at Brian.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" he asked.

Brian curled his lip in disgust.

"I'm the idiot who's trying to find some credible evidence to back up your flimsy and, I might add, pathetic alibi," he said.

Justin put a calming hand on Brian's shoulder.

"Brian...please," he said.

Chris caught the tender exchange and knew exactly who the guy was. He was Justin's new lover. The knowledge made Chris suddenly nauseous again. It wasn't so much that Justin had moved on, it was that he hadn't. While Justin was healing and moving on with his life, his own life was being robbed from him for a crime he didn't commit. The unfairness of it was overwhelming and he just wanted to die in that moment.

"I went over Chris's lawyer's notes on the case. There is no mention of any email. He does state, however, that the detectives checked Chris's alibi about being at Foxibois that night but found no one at the bar who remembered him," Frank said.

Justin frowned. He wasn't surprised. Chris was, well...unremarkable. Not that it was a bad thing. Actually, it was what had attracted him to the man to begin with. Chris was an unassuming, yet confident man. He didn't try to be something he wasn't. He was a plain, simple guy and liked being that guy. There was nothing pretentious about him. He was a refreshing breath of fresh air after the slew of affective men Justin had been dating. Like Matt, who was gorgeous, and so full of himself. Though he and Matt had a long-term relationship, and it was good, it was a pairing of three: Justin, Matt, and Matt's ego.

Justin enjoyed his time with Matt immensely, but he always knew it wouldn't go anywhere. When he met Chris, he actually believed he could have something "real" with the man. Chris's ego needed no stroking. He was solid and had his priorities...his sister and niece, and the kids he taught. It was his devotion to his vocation that attracted Justin to him and brought them together. Justin was masquerading as a troubled teen and Chris reached out to him. And Justin...well, Justin, half in character and half really falling for the guy abused that help and fell right into bed with him. He wasn't proud of it then, or now, but at the time his priorities were the kids in that school. He had a job to do, lives were at stake and as for Chris, he always intended to tell him the truth, and hopefully after the case was over, start a life together....with a clean slate. Unfortunately, subsequent events prevented that from ever happening. Events that had drastically altered both of their lives.

"You said you woke up at this trick's house, do you remember the address?" Brian forged on. His mind was piecing the puzzle together. One way or another, he was going to get to the truth. Even if it meant costing him the love of his life.

….Love of your life???!!! Are you fucking kidding me Kinney??!!! Now you're starting to sound like a Muncher! his mind rebelled.

But he couldn't deny his feelings to himself or to Justin. He owed Justin that much. And he owed him the opportunity to walk away if he chose to do so. He couldn't let Justin continue to believe that his ex betrayed him - not if there was evidence to the contrary. And if turned out that Hobbs hadn't betrayed him, and Justin decided to get back together with him, then Brian would step aside. All that mattered to him was Justin's happiness. His only hope was that Chris turned out to be the lying piece of shit he wanted him to be, then he could have his blond all to himself.

Chris looked at him with renewed hope and Brian's own hope died inside of him with the sight of it. He's telling the truth...his instincts were telling him.

"I don't know the exact address, but he lived in the Village, in a brownstone not too far from Foxi's. We walked to his place, more like he half carried me," Chris said, then grimaced at the memory before continuing, "I know what he looks like too. He had this anchor tattooed on his left arm. Like a Navy anchor," Chris blurted out.

"Chris, did you ever tell your lawyer or the cops this?" Frank asked.

"I told the cops when they first arrested me, but they said no one remembered me being at the bar that night and if I didn't have a name or exact address they weren't going to waste their time on some wild goose chase," Chris said.

"Of course not, why should they do their job?" Brian spat out sarcastically.

Justin rubbed the back of his neck and turned to look at Brian.

"What do you think..." he asked.

The uncertainty in his blonds’ voice pulled at Brian's heart. He had to squelch the urge to sweep him into his arms and drag him away from this place...and from Hobbs. But as badly as he wanted to do that, the logical side of his brain told him that it wasn't what Justin needed. He needed, and deserved, to know the truth.

Brian turned cold eyes to Hobbs.

"You think you can give a detailed description of this trick?" he asked. He fucking hated being in this position! Helping the man who, in all probability, was responsible for Justin getting bashed.

Chris swallowed nervously. The saying "If looks could kill" came to mind, for surely if looks could kill he'd be a dead man right now from the man's gaze.

"Sure, I was drunk, but not blind. Besides, I got a good look at him in the morning, right before he threw me out," Chris said, his face turning red in embarrassment.

Brian snorted derisively and Justin once again threw him a stern look.

Brian turned to the lawyer.

"Hey, Mouthpiece, you got something to write on in that briefcase of yours?" he asked.

Frank rummaged through his case muttering under his breath his discontent with Brian's continued verbal harassment.

"Here," he said pulling out a legal pad and pencil from his briefcase and handing it to Brian, "didn't know you were a sketch artist," he continued with a hint of censure in his voice.

Brian scowled at him and turned to Justin, handing him the pad and pencil.

"I'm not, but Justin is."

Justin took the pad and pencil from Brian and frowned.

"I've never done a composite before."

"No, but I've seen the sketches you drew of me and Gus. They were fucking brilliant, better than any ‘professional' artist's rendition. If lover boy's memory is detailed enough, I'm positive you'll be able to capture a close enough likeness for us to go on," Brian said.

Though Justin beamed inwardly at the compliment of his artistic talents, he also cringed at Brian's sneering reference to his ex - "lover boy." Justin was so engrossed in his own little "Hobbs" drama he didn't stop to think how all this was affecting Brian. His heart swelled knowing how hard Brian was trying to help him despite his desire to strangle Hobbs and be done with it. Yet, he would never do that because he knew that would hurt Justin. And the fact that it would hurt Justin...hurt Brian. The last thing Justin wanted to do was hurt Brian. He loved him more than he ever thought possible. He hated putting Brian through this but he knew now that he would never rest if he didn't know the truth about his past relationship with Hobbs. He couldn't go on living doubting himself and Chris's guilt or innocence.

Justin sent Brian what he hoped was a grateful reassuring look, then turned his attention to the pad in his hand. He doubted he was as talented as Brian painted him to be, but he did like to draw, and he had to admit, he was pretty good at it, so he'd give it a try. The sooner they solved this case, the sooner they could go on with their lives...together, free from this ugly part of his past.

He took a deep breath and turned to Chris.

"Okay then," he said, picking the milk crate up and turning it over to sit on.

"Let's start with his bone structure. Was his face round? Narrow...."

And so it went on for about 20 minutes. Brian and Frank stood by quietly as Chris gave Justin a detailed description of the trick who took him home the night he supposedly sent the incriminating email out. When he was done, Justin turned the pad around to show Brian.

Brian whistled low.

"Not bad Hobbs. He must have been completely trashed to want to fuck you," he said.

Justin rolled his eyes.

"Really Brian, is that necessary? And what does that say about me?" he asked.

Brian curled his lip in a snarl.

"It says you were pathetically altruistic," he remarked.

Justin was about to retort but thought better of it. Right now, he needed to get Brian out of there before he lost his temper. As it was, he'd been pushed far enough. Justin couldn't ask more of him.

"We got what we need here. We can start looking for this guy tomorrow. I think we all could use some rest tonight," Justin said as he rose from the milk crate.

"Good idea. I'm staying at the Holiday Inn two blocks down from here. It's a double occupancy room, you're welcome to crash with me," Frank offered.

Brian looked at the man like he just spit on his shoes. Justin interceded before Brian could comment on the affront.

"Thanks Frank, but we'll find other accommodations," he said, then turned to Chris.

"You okay here? How did you find this place anyway?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Frank leased it for me, real cheap. There's running water and a mattress on the floor in the bedroom. And it's safe. I can't chance staying in a hotel, it's too public and I have nowhere else to go. I couldn't stay with Teresa," Chris said.

Justin's brows furrowed in concern at the mention of her name.

"How is she?" he asked.

Chris sighed.

"She's okay. She's tough you know," he said.

"Yeah, I know," he said in a low voice. He hated that she got hurt in all of this. She and her daughter were the true innocents.

"Well tough or not, I intend to file a suit against the city for what they did!" Frank said, clearly outraged.

"Exactly what did they do?" Justin asked. He couldn't stand to think that she, or her daughter, was abused in any way. He always liked Teresa. Chris had introduced him to her two months into their relationship and they had hit it off immediately. Teresa was street smart. Justin admired that, and her daughter Mia was just the most adorable little girl. Justin never stopped to think how all of this affected them...he felt ashamed.

"They searched her house without a warrant! Turned the place upside down, broke some of her furnishings and scared her poor daughter something awful," Frank said.

Justin's face twisted in anger,

"Son of a bitch!! Who was it? I can't believe anyone in my unit would do that!" he said.

Frank scoffed, "Yeah well believe it. A detective Harmond flashed his badge stating that they had a report of loud noises coming from the place and needed to check it out. Teresa let them in, not knowing what they were going to do. He and two foot patrolmen made a mess, found nothing, and then left," he said.

Justin turned to look at Brian.

"Fucking Harmond. I should have known. Every precinct has at least one, we were no different," he said dejectedly.

"One what?" Chris asked.

"Asshole," both Brian and Justin answered in unison.

Chris scoffed, "One? I'd say your precinct is infected with them," he spat out bitterly.

"Well that particular ‘asshole' is going to get the whole department sued," Frank stated confidently.

Justin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose...a habit he picked up from Brian. This whole fucking mess was giving him a migraine.

Brian picked up on Justin's distress and reached out to rub his shoulders. "Come on, let's go. You need to get something to eat, and then you need to rest. We got a big day ahead of us tomorrow," he said, then turned Justin around to face him.

"Justin listen to me...are you listening?" he asked searching Justin's eyes.

Justin held his gaze and nodded his head.

"If we have to, we'll knock on every fucking door in the Village until we find this guy." Assuming he exists, he thought, but kept that thought to himself. "But first we'll swing by Teresa's place and see how she's doing. We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise you," he said.

Justin's eyes welled up. He believed him. If Brian promised, then it was as good as done.

"Thank you," he whispered in a soft, emotion-filled voice. Brian smiled and touched his forehead to Justin's. They stood like that for several seconds.

"Hey, can you take me with you? They won't touch me if they see me with you," Chris said, interrupting their private moment.

"No," Justin snapped, then cursed under his breath.

He pulled away from Brian and turned to Chris. "I don't want anyone to know that we've talked. If we find this guy we'll need to do some inside investigating and no one is going to trust me if they knew I've actually seen you and you're still alive," Justin said.

Chris nodded his head in understanding. "You're right. Just tell Teresa I'm okay."

Justin nodded his head curtly and then turned to Frank. He pulled his wallet out and handed him some bills.

"Here, get him something to eat. And let me know if you need more," he said handing the money over.

Frank took it and Brian noticed Chris turn his head away in shame. For some unknown reason, it made him angry. Maybe, he thought, because Hobbs isn't turning out to be the scumbag I was hoping he'd be. There was a very real possibility he was innocent, and Brian wasn't quite ready to face that possibility. Yet.... He took Justin by his arm and gently guided him to the door. He had to get them both out of there before he lost control.

Justin followed Brian's lead. His mind and emotions were on overload. He needed time to think, time away from Chris so he could see the situation in a more objective light. Right now, with Chris's emaciated, battered appearance, and his insistent claim to innocence, Justin was starting to sympathize with him, and he wasn't ready to do that. Well, not until he had cause to. Right now, his guilt or innocence was speculative. Justin needed proof before he jumped to any conclusions. And he wasn't going to get that proof standing around in some filthy rundown apartment. He was almost out the door when Chris's voice stopped him.

"Justin wait!" he said.

Justin stopped, but didn't turn around to look at him.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about what happened to you," he said.

Justin's shoulders stiffened. "Sorry's bullshit," he said, then walked out the door.

 

PART 2

 

"This room costs more than Liz Taylor's entire diamond collection. The least you can do is stop wearing a path in the rug with your obsessive pacing and come eat some of this ridiculously high fat, high calorie food I ordered for you," Brian said as he sauntered down from the bedroom wearing one of the lush robes provided by the hotel.

Justin stopped his pacing and turned to look at Brian with a raised brow.

"Wow, I didn't realize you were into aging Diva's accessories. Emmett would be impressed," he said.

Brian made a face at him, "Emmett is an aging Diva. Ms. Taylor is a classic icon who has great taste in jewelry. Another thing Emmett is lacking. Now, why don't you take a break and come eat something. I promise you it won't make you less of a martyr if you take a few minutes out for nourishment," he said.

Justin glared at him. "Fuck you."

"Love to. But first...eat," Brian replied with a grin.

Justin let out an exasperated sound, then turned his back on him and proceeded to wear what was now becoming a very noticeable path in the expensive carpeting, heedless of the damage he was causing. It was the least of his concerns....

After they left Hobbs in that God-awful apartment, Brian had checked them in at the Plaza. They had no trouble securing the penthouse suite. The concierge at the hotel was on a first name basis with Brian. Justin wasn't surprised. Brian loved his luxury, and the Plaza was one of the best hotels in NYC. Justin did wonder, however, what brought Brian to NYC so often that the hotel's staff was so familiar with him and his needs.

They were given the royal treatment. The room was huge and had an amazing view of the city. There was a Jacuzzi the size of a swimming pool in the master bath and a marble fireplace that was currently lit, radiating a delicious warmth throughout the suite. They were barely settled when a table laden with fruits, cheeses and meats was delivered to their room, along with a chilled bottle of champagne, and a bottle of Beam. Evidence that this wasn't Brian's first time at the Plaza.

At any other time Justin would have took full advantage of the lavish accommodations. It was all so extravagant, yet all so regrettably unappreciated at the moment. Justin just couldn't enjoy himself in all this opulence knowing that a potentially innocent man was hiding out in a rat-infested hole because of him.

"Hey, Joan of Arc, get off the cross already. Someone needs the wood. Actually, we could use the wood, I think the fire is getting low," Brian coldly remarked.

He knew his blond was beating himself up over Hobbs's predicament and he wasn't about to let him get away with that bullshit. Whether or not Hobbs was innocent was irrelevant. Hobbs was in the position he was in either by his own doing or by the fault of a corrupt justice system. Justin had nothing to do with it! Well, not directly anyway. Justin was the wronged party in all of this. Justin was the one bashed and in a coma for weeks. Hobbs's plight was his to bear and his alone. Yet, Justin was acting like he was responsible. The current emotional flagellation he was inflicting upon himself was not only unwarranted, it was pissing Brian the fuck off. He'd rather have his blond spitting fire at him, than wallowing in unearned guilt.

Justin abruptly stopped pacing at Brian's callous words and turned blazing, cobalt blue eyes on him.

"God you can be such a fucking ruthless prick at times! And for the record, Jesus was on the cross, Joan of Arc was burned at the stake," he said.

Brian shrugged.

"Wood is wood, and to be frank, right now the only wood I'm concerned about is the one under this robe," he said, grabbing his engorged cock for effect. He always got rock hard when Justin got angry.

Justin saw red. How can he be so fucking cavalier when a man's innocence or guilt is at stake! he wondered.

He approached Brian with an accusing finger wagging at him.

"Let me tell you something Mr. ‘the world revolves around me and my cock' fucking Kinney....It DOESN'T! There is a man, probably an innocent man, hurt and destitute holed up in some shitty dive while we're lounging around in this ridiculously expensive hotel room eating strawberries and drinking champagne! Have you no fucking remorse over that?!! Any feelings at all?" he asked in an angry, reproachful tone.

Brian looked down at Justin who was glaring at him with daggers shooting from his eyes, and pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

"The only remorse I have is that we are not eating strawberries and drinking champagne. What we're doing is wearing holes in the carpet and wasting good fucking time," he said before tilting his head back and studying his blond.

"Why the fuck should I care what happens to Hobbs?" he asked suspiciously. But before Justin could answer, he leaned over and yelled in his face, "I guess the more important question is why the fuck do you care?!"

Okay, what the fuck just happened? Brian wondered. One minute he was rock hard, wanting nothing more than to throw Justin down on the couch and fuck the shit out of him and the next he was fighting mad at him...resentful, hurt. The confusing switch in emotions stunned Brian. But he knew what triggered his reaction. Justin was feeling way too responsible for his ex's plight. Brian didn't know if it was out of empathy or regret over a love lost...a love he believed he threw away because he didn't have faith in his lover. And it fucking made Brian's blood boil.

Justin blinked, startled by Brian's anger.

"Why?" he asked, astonished that Brian would question his motives for caring.

"Because in all likelihood, I'm the cause of the pain that man has gone through the past two years!" Justin screamed back at him.

Brian snorted. "Please, he caused his own pain. We all do. I hate to break it to you, Sunshine, but bad things happen to good people all the time. You're a living example of that. However, the jury is still out on whether Hobbs is a good person or not. For all I know he deserved everything that's happened to him...and probably more," he said.

Justin stepped back and took several deep breaths. He hated when Brian called him ‘Sunshine' in that tone. It was hurtful. The man was being unreasonable and spiteful and though part of Justin knew where it was coming from, another part wanted to smack him for having so little faith in them! This wasn't about Hobbs, it was about Brian not trusting him to help out Chris, and not have it affect their relationship. Bottom line...he didn't trust in their love. And after all they'd been through together.

Justin needed to get out of there to calm down and clear his thoughts.

"Sometimes I wonder who the fuck are you," he muttered as he turned towards the closet to grab his coat.

Panic seized Brian as he watched Justin walk away from him, visions of him going to Hobbs to "comfort" him swirling in his head making him dizzy with rage.

"I can tell you who I'm not. I'm not the one who set you up on a date with a Louisville Slugger! I'd lay odds that person is hiding out in some rat-infested apartment! But hey, go ahead. Run back to your ‘lost love.' Maybe you can use the splinters from the bat that nearly killed you to ‘rekindle' your romance! Only the next time he fucks you, you should ask him to kiss you first! It might take the sting out of his betrayal, I heard it worked for Judas," Brian said, regretting his words the moment they left his mouth.

He had never spoken so cruelly to anyone in his life. Then again, never in his life had he felt this way about someone. Justin rattled him like no other ever could. He'd never felt so out of control in his life and perhaps part of him was trying to goad Justin into losing some of his own control so at least they'd be on even ground. Illogical, yes, but maybe love wasn't supposed to be logical. How the fuck would he know? What he had with Connie was nothing compared to this firestorm of emotions he felt for his blond. He'd kill Hobbs before he let him take Justin away from him. Innocent or guilty, he hated Hobbs with every fiber of his being just because Justin had loved him at one time and his hatred was spewing out in his vile comments to Justin. He knew it wasn't fair, or logical, but he couldn't help himself.

Justin dropped his coat and froze. Red hot, blazing fury consumed him. He slowly turned towards Brian. Brian saw the move and knew in that instance, he went way too far. Still, his own anger was overruling reason and he defiantly faced his blond.

"What? Did I hit a nerve Sunshine?" he asked and wondered somewhere in the back of his mind if he had a death wish.

Justin approached him steadily and Brian moved behind the table that was piled with food. Justin grabbed the edge of the table and flipped it over, plates of food splattered to the floor.

Okay, this isn't good, Brian thought. He side stepped the food carnage and strategically re-positioned himself behind one of the Queen Anne chairs in the suite.

"Tsk, tsk, that infamous Taylor temper is going to get you in a lot of trouble one day," he taunted.

Really Kinney, what the fuck are you doing? he asked himself. Yet he couldn't stop himself. He'd do anything to get Justin's attention away from Hobbs and on to him. Even if that attention was negative. At least he knew right now his blond wasn't thinking about his ex.

Justin's eyes narrowed in response. He maneuvered himself in front of the Queen Anne and reached down to grab the arms.

"I have a feeling that day has just arrived," he said right before he picked up the chair and tossed it to the side.

Brian was impressed with his strength, but was anticipating the move. He took advantage of his blonds’ momentary distraction with the piece of furniture and lunged at him. Justin turned to ward him off but was weak from picking up the chair. It was much heavier than he had expected and it sapped him of his strength.

Brian managed to get Justin to the floor and pin him down. Justin growled out his rage and frustration as he tried to dislodge Brian.

"Easy tiger, I'm not letting you up until you listen to me," Brian said.

"Listen to you!???" Justin spat out incredulously. "I have been fucking listening to you! And your bullshit! I doubt anything else you'd have to say would make this situation any better!" he predicted.

Brian frowned and shifted his weight a bit to better hold Justin down. It wasn't easy keeping his blond down. He knew Justin was trained for precisely this kind of scenario and he also knew that if Justin really wanted to dislodge him, he could. But he would have to hurt Brain in the process. And Justin would never do that.

"Yeah, well, you may have been listening, but you haven't heard me!" Brian gritted out between clenched teeth. He was starting to break a sweat. Justin was putting up a respectable fight without actually hurting him.

Justin stopped struggling for a moment, for which Brian was very grateful.

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" he barked out.

"I need to know Justin. I need to know right now! If Hobbs turns out to be innocent, what's your next move? Are you just going to walk away from him?" he asked, then laughed bitterly.

"We both know that's not going to happen. You're already displaying a disgustingly huge amount of sympathy for him and you don't even know if he's innocent yet! So what, then, if you find out he is? You loved him...by your own account you were going to marry him. If not for the fact you thought he betrayed you, you two would be married now living in some fucking hetero suburban town exchanging casserole recipes with the neighbors! A bat and two years of prison took that away from you two. Are you going to try to give him his life back, the life you two planned together, out of some ridiculous sense of obligation?" Brian rambled on hastily, each word filled with rancor and pain.

Justin stared up at Brian, stunned by his tirade. Stunned and hurt, because although he had just a moment ago mentally berated Brian for not trusting in him, in them, he had to reluctantly admit to himself that Brian was right.

If Chris indeed turned out to be innocent, he would feel responsible for what happened to him. He believed Chris was guilty based on an email and what Lewinski told him. He never even thought to verify it, or at the very least, talk to Chris about it. Fuck, he was going to marry the man yet he didn't give him the least bit benefit of the doubt at the time!

Yeah, he did feel obligated for what happened to his ex. But beyond that Justin had no other feelings for Chris. And he certainly wasn't going to leave Brian for him! That was not only absurd, it was impossible. How could Brian not know this? Even if the past two years had never happened...if he never got bashed and Chris never went to jail...and they did end up getting married, he would have divorced him the moment he laid eyes on Brian. Brian was it for him. He never believed before in the notion of soul mates, but he had no other words to describe his connection to Brian. It was that strong.

Tears sprang to Justin's eyes as he realized the agony his lover was in. He never meant to cause him such pain. This thing with Chris was Hell on them both. But he couldn't turn his back on the man and he knew that, logically, Brian understood that. But logic wasn't ruling Brian's thoughts right now, his emotions were and Justin couldn't blame him. If the situation were reversed, he didn't know if he'd be as accommodating as Brian had been. Justin wanted to make it all better, to make it all go away but he couldn't. Not fast enough anyway. Right now all he could do was be completely honest with him.

"You're right. I would feel responsible, even obligated if it turns out that Chris is innocent. But how could you possibly think I would ever get back together with him? Don't you know that that could never happen? I don't love him and -" he said.

Brian interrupted him before he could finish the sentence.

"You did love him, you only stopped because you thought he betrayed you," he said, pointing out the obvious.

Justin huffed in exasperation.

"And, as I was saying, any feelings I had for Chris, before or after the attack, changed the moment I laid eyes on you. It doesn't matter if Chris is innocent or not. That's not going to change how I feel about you. Nothing and no one can change that...not even you," he said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it. Deep down he knew Justin was telling the truth. They did have a special connection; a bond that was so strong it made Brian crazy to think someone could threaten it. He felt ashamed he didn't have more faith in them but life had taught him that love, real love - not the bullshit people told themselves they were in just to justify getting laid on a regular basis - was often cruelly taken away from you. He barely survived losing his brother - it was nothing short of a miracle they were united again - and Conrad, well...he was a lesson hard learned, but he survived losing him. He doubted he'd survive losing Justin.

"Justin," he whispered in a cracked voice, "I...I just can't...," Brian let his words trail off. He didn't know how to explain what he was feeling. He couldn't put it into words.

Justin reached up and cradled his face in his hands.

"Bri...I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I love you. No, that's such bullshit. God I was right, those words are fucking meaningless...but how else do I tell you that you are it for me? It's like I started breathing when you came into my life. I can't imagine my life now without you and though I know you're inwardly cringing at the sentimental lesbian shit I'm laying on you right now you need to hear this. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And now that I've had the best, no one else will ever do. Okay... there, I said it. And no, I haven't suddenly grown a pussy," Justin said, injecting a little levity into the situation.

Brian smiled. Though it was fleeting and weak, it was nonetheless a smile. He reached down in between them and grabbed Justin's cock. Justin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just checking," he said, gently squeezing it. He then graced Justin with a full-fledged, real smile. Justin smiled back.

"Now, are we okay or do I have to break out into a Gladys Knight song?" he asked.

Brian groaned. "You know how I love it when you hum around my cock Sunshine, but please spare me your rendition of ‘You're Simply the Best,'" he teased.

Justin pushed up against him.

"On one condition - you stop being so insecure about us," he said.

Brian made a face. "I do not do insecurity."

Justin's smile grew wider.

"Uh huh...whatever you say," he said as he ran his hands up Brian's back.

"Jesus, was I this jealous when we found Conrad?" he asked, moving his hands down to Brian's ass.

Brian looked totally affronted at Justin's question.

"I DON'T do jealousy either! But yes, you were. Okay, maybe you weren't as demonstrative about it...fuck I think I've been hanging with Emmett too long...but I distinctly remember you storming out to go get drunk and laid when I brought him back to the hotel," he said.

Justin laughed.

"As I recall, you followed me to that small town bar where our exploits gained us legendary status."

Brian's eyes grew dark and stormy at the memory of their chain fuck. He leaned over and gently brushed his lips against Justin's.

"That was hot."

"Hmm...yes, it was," Justin said as he teased Brian's lips with his tongue.

All thoughts of Hobbs left Brian the moment his blonds’ lips touched his. He melted into him, covering his body with his own, growling into his mouth as he deepened their kiss.

Justin writhed beneath him, needing the feel of skin against skin. He pulled the robe down from Brian's shoulders and within seconds his bronze Adonis was totally naked.

Brian reveled in the feel of his naked skin against Justin's still clad form. He lowered his mouth to his blonds’ neck where he proceeded to lick and nip his way down the smooth column. When his mouth came into contact with his shirt, he paused for a moment to remove it. He then continued his salacious exploration of Justin's skin with his tongue. He snaked it down his collarbone, then to his chest, then down to his nipples where he sucked one into his mouth.

Justin moaned deeply in his throat and grabbed a fist full of Brian's hair as he held his head to his chest. He fucking loved it when Brian sucked on his nipples. The man was ruthless. He would abuse the tender bud with his lips and teeth then soothe it with his hot, velvety tongue. It was a pure, blissful sensation and Justin could cum just from that act alone. But Brian wasn't about to let him.

He released the now engorged bud and moved his mouth lower, down to the waistband of Justin's jeans, his tongue lingering at the smooth, taunt skin right below his belly button, licking and sucking on the pale skin there for an incalculable amount of time. Justin didn't want him to ever stop, yet at the same time, couldn't bear anymore. He reached down to undo his pants but Brian slapped his hands away. Justin moaned out his frustration.

Brian lifted his head and looked into Justin's eyes. All the love, passion and need shone in them. A heartbeat's moment passed before Brian spoke.

"I need you inside me," he softly confessed.

Justin's heart pounded in his chest and his cock strained impossibly hard against the material of his jeans. He pulled Brian up his body and attacked his mouth.

Their kiss was deep and hot and all consuming. It alternated between fast and rough to slow and sensual and everything in between. Their tongues and spit mingled and their breaths became one. Justin wanted to make this last as long as he could. He had only topped Brian a few times and each time was more special than the last but tonight...well, tonight he was determined to make Brian feel him in a way that he'd never forget, in a way that he'd never doubt their love again.

Somewhere between the long make-out session Justin managed to remove his pants. Once they were both naked, Justin slowly turned his lover over and took his time in worshiping his body with his hands and mouth. He literally lost himself in the bronze Adonis. Brian was simply the most beautiful man he'd ever seen. He felt, smelled and tasted like Nirvana and Justin just couldn't get enough. He loved him with the entirety of his being.

First, he brought Brian to orgasm with his mouth. Licking and sucking his cock until Brian spilled his seed down his throat. Then, Justin took his time in inflaming Brian's passion again. He used his hands, tongue, body, and words to bring Brian back to the edge. And just when Brian couldn't take it anymore, Justin would pull back and start his torturous ministrations all over again.

Brian thought he was going to die, a fucking beautiful ‘no-other-way-to-go' kind of death from Justin's attention. This...this is what I've been waiting for my whole life, he thought as Justin brought him to the brink of ecstasy over and over again. Never had he had a lover so good, so perfectly in tune to his every need. They were made for each other, of that, Brian had no doubt.

When Justin thought Brian had had enough - though, in truth, it was he who couldn't take anymore - he spread his lover's cheeks and readied him with his mouth. Brian hissed in pure pleasure as Justin pushed his tongue in and around his tight hole, readying him for his cock. Brian lifted his ass, indicating he wanted more. Justin pulled his mouth away - a thin line of saliva connected them. He used his finger to coat the opening with his spit, then pushed it in. Brian moaned and bucked back as Justin inserted a second finger and started scissoring him.

Brian's breath was erratic; he was panting and pushing back, fucking himself on Justin's fingers. Justin leaned over and whispered hot, nasty words into Brian's ear. Brian groaned as his mind wrapped around all the erotic images his blond was verbally painting.

Justin then slipped a third finger in, causing Brian to hiss loudly at the exquisite intrusion. Justin lowered his head to Brian's neck and flicked his tongue against the taut skin there. He then ran his tongue down Brian's spine as he continued to fuck his ass with his fingers.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Justin, fuck me... fuck me now!" Brian demanded. His need was so great he felt if he didn't have his blonds’ cock inside him right then and there, he would explode.

Justin's own resolve was slipping.

"As you wish," he said before raising himself up and placing his cock against Brian's entrance.

"Now!" Brian commanded.

Justin obeyed. In one quick, steady thrust, he entered him, embedding himself to the hilt.

Brian made a noise that went straight to Justin's cock.

"Fuck Bri...oh fuck...fuck...fuck...," he chanted incoherently. He started moving in and out, creating a rhythm for them. Brian rose up to meet each thrust almost dislodging Justin at one point.

Justin held on with one hand as he rode his beautiful, wild stallion. He reached around with his other hand and grabbed Brian's cock, stroking him in tempo with his thrusts.

"Arrrrrgggggghhhhh...," Brian growled. He turned his head and Justin dove in and attached his lips to his mouth, swallowing his moans of pleasure that were mixed with his own.

Brian was getting close, Justin could feel it. He didn't want to cum before Brian but, oh God, he was so hot! He always thought himself a good top, always in control, but with Brian he had no illusions. Topping or bottoming, Brian was always in control. And this time was no different. Brian was controlling their fuck, squeezing Justin and then, just when he was about to blow, easing back, slowing down. Justin couldn't take any more. He was going to cum, he needed to cum.

Giving up any pretense that he was in command at this point, Justin pulled his mouth from Brian's and pleaded,

"Brian for the love of God...please......," he begged out his need in a raspy voice.

"No, no...not yet," Brian said, his own breath labored from exertion.

Justin cursed him seven ways to Heaven and Hell.

"You fucking sadist...," he gritted out as he struggled to hold back his orgasm.

Brian let out a soft chuckle and then shifted beneath Justin just a bit so that his cock hit his prostrate at a certain angle.

"Ohhhh, God, that's it...right there....," he moaned.

Justin picked up his cue and started fucking Brian harder in this new position, desperately trying to hold back his own orgasm. He kissed, stroked and fucked Brian until he couldn't hold on any longer. Without warning, his orgasm ripped through him with lightning speed, heat and intensity. Little, white, exploding dots flashed behind his eyelids.

"Fuck...Fuck... Briiian!" he cried out as his cock pulsed mercilessly inside his lover, filling him with his seed.

The sensation of Justin's cock throbbing inside of him was enough to rip Brian's own orgasm from him. His screams of pleasure echoed through the suite.

Together they rode the wave of ecstasy. Justin collapsed on top of Brian, his cock heavy inside of him.

Brian lay there, completely sated. Completely happy, he realized. The feel of Justin sprawled over his back, sweaty and spent with his cock still inside of him, hot cum coating his walls, was a feeling he would never tire of.

Eventually, their breathing calmed and their hearts stopped racing. Justin didn't want to leave Brian's body and Brian was in no hurry to let him go.

Minutes passed and neither moved, nor spoke. Justin turned his head and kissed Brian's back, before slowly slipping out of Brian.

Brian turned over onto his back and pulled Justin against his side with one arm. He then turned his head and spied the plates of food lying on the floor, the result of his blonds’ earlier tirade. He smiled to himself and reached over to pluck a strawberry from one of the plates. He took a bite of it, then brought the other half to Justin's mouth.

"Here, eat," he said, placing the juicy berry between his blonds’ lips.

"You'll need your strength. The night is young," he teased.

Justin laughed and let Brian feed him, right there on the floor. The night, indeed, was young and so were they. Tomorrow held its share of trouble, but for tonight, all was right in their world. And Justin was determined to keep it that way.


	20. Chapter 20

“You really didn’t have to do that you know,” Justin said as they stood in front of Foxibois.

It was late morning and the club wasn’t officially opened until 6 pm, but deliveries had to be received, inventory restocked, accounts tallied, and all this was done during the day hours. Someone was sure to be inside.

“That’s the third time you’ve said that. And for the third time…yes, I did. That place was almost as bad as her brother’s, but beyond that, I know you Blondie. You would have done something ridiculously reckless if I hadn’t,” Brian said.

Justin opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it. He couldn’t deny Brian’s accusation.

They’d just come from Teresa’s place and Brian was right…it wasn’t much better than the rat hole her brother was currently holed up in. She and her daughter were living in a section eight housing project – which was reserved for low income and welfare recipients. The neighborhood was one step up from the ghetto and the buildings were in desperate need of maintenance. It was just as Justin feared. Teresa and her daughter suffered greatly because of Chris’s incarceration.

They had surprised Teresa with their impromptu visit earlier that morning…and not in a positive, life affirming way. To say she was less than pleased to see Justin would have been an understatement. The woman looked as run down as the building she lived in. She’d been working late nights bartending off the books for extra cash and had just gotten home a few hours earlier when they came knocking, rousing her from her bed. Her mood was already sour from lack of sleep when she opened the door to find the man she held responsible for her brother’s and her troubles on the other side. It took some convincing on his part to assure her he was there to help Chris. But once he saw the deplorable conditions she and her daughter were living in he was more concerned with helping her and Chris be damned. He offered her money but she had too much pride. She said she appreciated any help he could give her brother to clear his name, but that she wasn’t his, or anyone else’s, charity case. That’s when Brian jumped in and made his offer.

Apparently, unbeknownst to Justin, Brian and Ted had started a brokerage firm in the city some years back that they still had controlling interest in. Brian offered Teresa a salaried secretarial job at the firm, with benefits. At first, she turned him down on the premise that it was just another form of charity but then Brian pointed out to her that she was passing up a lucrative job opportunity just so she could continue to shake her ass in some shit-hole bar for lousy tips while her daughter slept not five feet from them on some ratty couch, wearing clothes that were at least 2 sizes too small and looking much too thin for a five year old.

Teresa cringed at his callous, yet brutally honest, description of her current situation.

“There’s nothing noble about being poor Teresa,” Brian had assured her. “Take the job, for your daughter’s sake.”

Teresa reluctantly accepted. Brian wrote down the address to the firm on the back of his business card, handed it to her, and told her to ask for a Mr. Casey in Human Resources. She slipped the card in the pocket of her robe and quietly thanked him. Justin was glad she accepted Brian’s offer. If she hadn’t, he probably would have done something reckless, as Brian accurately predicted, like kidnap her and her daughter and take them away from that slum.

“You’re probably right, but still they aren’t your responsibility,” Justin insisted.

Brian turned to stare at him with a raised eyebrow. “Neither are they yours.”

“I never said they were,” Justin said.

“No, but if I hadn’t made the offer, you’d have her and daughter moved into the loft by week’s end,” Brian predicted.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Justin said. “I would have set them up at my place.”

Brian gave him a sideward glance. “And then where would Mother Taylor –”

“Tucker.”

“Whatever…stay?” Brian asked, tongue in cheek.

“Where she’s been staying. At that fancy, five star Hotel you put her up in. Now that you’ve spoiled her, she’ll expect the same treatment the next time she visits,” Justin teased.

Brian groaned. “What do you mean the next time? I’m barely surviving this visit! When is she scheduled to go home again?” he asked.

Justin huffed. “You know you like her. But don’t worry – she’s leaving right after Gus’s birthday.”

Brian sighed heavily, his mood suddenly changing. “We’ve only a few days to get this case solved before then,” he said.

“I know, so let’s get this done…and quick,” Justin said as he opened the door to the bar for them.

Foxibois was everything Brian expected a gay bar, in a heavily bohemian influenced village, to be. The place was ‘hippy-chic.’ Beads draped the doorways and there was a ‘Hookah Lounge’ sign hanging over an archway located at the end of the bar. The smell of incense was strong in the air and jazz-fusion music was being piped in from the DJ’s box. It really wasn’t Brian’s style. He much preferred the clubs back home. Babylon was the total opposite of this place. It was loud and glitzy and the back room was used for a different kind of ‘smoking’ activity; though he was sure there was a lot of fucking going on here as well…somewhere. It was, after all, the universal theme of every gay bar in the world. He just couldn’t spy where the real action took place in this establishment.

“I’m betting there’s a separate room off from the hookah lounge,” Justin commented as if he read his partner’s mind.

Brian didn’t question how Justin knew what he was thinking; he’d long since accepted that his blond was ‘on to’ him most of the time.

“Want to check it out later?” he asked, tongue in cheek.

Justin smiled sexily at him and was about to answer when a gruff voice came over them.

“Bar’s closed. Come back later.”

Brian and Justin looked over to where the voice emanated from. A big, burly man wearing a tie-dye T-shirt and a bandana around his head to keep his long hair back was leaning his heavy frame against the bar as he wiped a glass with a rag that looked dirtier than the glass he was cleaning.

“We’re not here for a drink, we’re looking for a guy,” Brian said.

The bartender let out a harsh laugh.

“Gotta come back later for that too,” he said.

Justin approached the bar pulling out the composite he drew of Chris’s trick from the inside of his jacket.

“We’re looking for one particular guy. This guy,” he said, laying the drawing out on the bar. “We hear he’s a regular here. Recognize him?”

Justin had no idea whether the trick was a regular or not. It was a calculated guess. In truth, they knew nothing about the trick Chris went home with that night he ‘supposedly’ sent that email to Weston. They had shown the drawing to Teresa but she had no clue as to the man’s identity.

The bartender glanced down at the picture. His lip curled in disgust, a gesture that wasn’t lost on either Brian or Justin.

“Never seen him before,” he said, then turned away from them and busied himself with some other chore.

Brian and Justin exchanged looks.

“If I do this, you know it’s going to get ugly,” Justin said.

Brian rolled his eyes. “It always does with you Blondie. You need to learn to control that temper of yours,” he chastised.

Justin glared at him. “You better hope I don’t. Nothing gets your dick harder than when I lose my temper.”

Brian graced him with a sexy smile. “Well there’s no denying that.”

Justin returned his smile with one of his most brilliant, what Brian liked to call, Sunshine smiles. “No, there isn’t…” he agreed. “But seriously Bri, you really do have more finesse in these matters than me,” he cajoled.

Brian scoffed. “Save your pathetic attempts at flattery for when I’m buried balls deep in your ass. I’m more inclined in those moments to believe whatever bullshit you tell me,” he said with a smirk.

Justin straight out laughed. “I’ll remember that…later tonight,” he said.

Brian’s dick stiffened at Justin’s implied invitation.

“I look forward to it,” he said in a low husky voice, “but first, I need to deal with grizzly Adams here,” he said then surprised Justin, and the bartender, by effortlessly jumping over the bar in one swift move, landing smoothly on the other side.

“Whaa..tt the fuck!” the bartender stuttered.

Brian grabbed the man by the back of his neck and slammed his head down on to the bar. He looked up at Justin.

“Refined enough for you?’ he asked.

Justin sighed. “And you call me reckless.”

Brian laughed, ignoring the man’s protests as he held him firmly against the bar.

“This is not reckless; it’s efficient. Designed to generate results. Now watch and learn,” he said, turning his attention to the struggling bartender.

“Now Mr. ‘I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-your-name-is’, my partner asked you nicely if you recognized…” Brian paused to grab the composite and shove it in under the bartender’s nose, “…this guy. Now I think you do; at least I hope you do, for your sake. Because if you don’t, you see my partner there…” Brian paused again to pull the guy’s head up an inch by his hair and force him to look at Justin, “is going to be very upset. And when he gets upset, I don’t get my dick sucked,” he said before slamming the guy’s face back down on the counter.

“And I kind of like having my dick sucked. So I suggest you rethink your answer. Now, do you recognize the man in this picture?” Brian asked, shoving the drawing once again under the man’s nose.

“Fuck you!” the bartender defiantly answered.

Brian sighed deeply and looked over at Justin. “I’m going to have to take this up a notch,” he said.

He pulled the bartender up from the bar, turned him around and forcefully rammed his head into the shelves of liquor against the wall. Bottles fell to the floor and shattered and the man yelped in pain as shards of glass cut into his face. Brian then turned him back around and slammed his face once more down onto the bar’s countertop. Dark, sticky blood oozed onto the smooth surface.

“ARRGGGHH!!!” the bartender screamed out in agony.

Brian leaned over to examine his injuries while holding him firmly down. “I’m sorry, did that hurt?” he asked with more than a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

The man sputtered and gurgled. “Leave me the fuck alone!” he croaked out. “Why can’t you pigs take care of your own business! I ain’t seen that snitch in here for weeks!”

Brian looked up at Justin. ‘Snitch’. Well, there was some interesting information. Brian turned his attention back to the struggling man. “What makes you think we’re cops?” he asked.

The bartender lifted his head up a bit, well as much as he could, and spit blood at Brian.

“I fucking smelled you pigs the moment you walked in the door! And from the looks of that jacket you’re wearing, you’re dirty pigs at that!” he boldly answered.

Brian cursed as some of the blood hit his three thousand dollar Armani leather jacket. He lifted the man’s head up and slammed it down again, careful not to break any bones. It didn’t stop the bartender, however, from howling in pain.

Justin noticed several workers pile in upon hearing their boss’s screams. He pulled back his jacket to reveal the gun he was carrying.

“This is a private matter. Go back to what you were doing, we’ll be done here in a few,” he said.

The crowd dispersed to corners where they couldn’t be seen, yet still witness the action going on. Justin turned back to Brian and gave him a look that said, ‘can we hurry this up?’ Brian made a face at him before turning his attention back to the man.

“Seems to me you don’t like pigs…particularly pigs on the take. Who you paying graft to old man?” Brian asked.

The bartender sneered. “What are you, fucking rookies? Everyone knows if you want a piece of the action in the village, you gotta go through the 12th.”

Justin’s eyes widened at the mention of his precinct.

“Yeah, well I must have missed that memo. Who collects for the 12th?” Brian asked.

The man snorted rebelliously. “Why should I tell you? So you can start shaking me down? I’d rather deal with the devil I know.”

Justin stepped forward. “You should be more concerned right now with the devil in front of you,” he said, pulling out his gun and pointing it at the bartender’s head.

“You got three seconds to give me his name old man…and the name of the man in the picture,” he said.

Brian groaned. “You just can’t help yourself can you Blondie?” he said.

Justin glanced at him and winked.

“Ok, ok! The cop’s name is Harmond. The village is his territory and the guy in the picture’s name is Tibs. He’s Harmond’s snitch, and that’s all I know, I SWEAR!” the bartender blabbered out frantically.

Justin pressed the gun against the man’s temple and cocked the hammer.

“Oh Jesus fuck, please…NO!” the bartender cried out.

“Where can we find this Tibs?” Justin asked in a deadly calm voice.

The bartender started swearing on God, his life, his mothers’ life, on the heads of his six kids and everything around him that he didn’t know where Tibs lived or how to find him.

“Gee, that’s really too bad,” Justin said. He was about to lower his gun when a woman rushed forward from her hiding place.

“Please, don’t hurt him! He’s not lying. Tibs hardly comes in here anymore and when he does it’s usually only to meet Harmond. He has a girl in Soho. Her name’s Jenny Marlow. She lives at 63 Spring Street, apartment 12. That’s all I know, I swear, please…please don’t shoot Barney,” the woman begged.

Brian raised his brow and pulled the bartender’s head up to look at his face.

“Barney? Really? As in the Dinosaur?” he asked.

Barney gave him a confused look. “Who?”

Brian rolled his eyes and pushed him away hard. “Barney the purple Dinosaur you asshole!”

Justin placed his gun back in his holster and laughed. “Not everyone watches TV with their kid Brian,” he said.

Brian snarled out some unintelligible response about the man’s lack of culture and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and threw it on the bar.

“For your troubles,” he said, before, once again, agilely jumping back over the bar onto the other side to where Justin stood.

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing the picture of “Tibs” off the bar.

Justin turned to the woman. “Thanks for your help,” he said.

The woman, who was now by Barney’s side holding a napkin to his nose, nodded her head at him.

Satisfied that their work was done there, Brian and Justin backed their way out of the bar, mindful that some of Barney’s employees might want a little revenge for their less than amiable confrontation with their boss.

Once outside they hailed a cab. “Sixty-three Spring Street,” Brian instructed the driver as he and Justin climbed in. As soon as they took off, Brian grabbed Justin and pulled him in for a long, hard kiss.

“What was that for?” Justin asked in a breathless voice.

“For letting me handle that,” Brian answered.

“What are you talking about? I pulled a gun on that guy!” Justin protested.

“I know. I was being sarcastic. Geesh Sunshine, for someone who’s supposedly so ‘on’ to me you can be dense at times,” he said in a mocking tone.

Justin made a face and nudged him away. “Ok, I get it. I did it again,” he said.

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Yes, you did. What did I tell you about that reckless nature of yours? You are sooo not cut out for this kind of work…you don’t have the temperament,” he said.

Justin sputtered in outrage. “I’ve been doing just fine up until I met you!” he blurted out.

Brian raised his brow at him. “So now it’s my fault?” he asked in a dangerous tone.

Justin sighed and slumped back against the grimy leather upholstery of the cab’s backseat.

“Yes. No. I don’t fucking know. I just get…anxious when I think you might get hurt,” he admitted.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it. “Did it look like I was going to get hurt?” he asked.

“No, but situations like that can get nasty real fast, you know that,” Justin answered.

“And do you think I couldn’t handle it if it did?” he asked, his voice growing ominous.

Justin’s face turned red. The implication that he didn’t think Brian could handle himself was clear in Brian’s words.

“Bri…it’s not that, of course you can handle it! You’ve been doing this a lot longer –”

“Watch it...” Brian warned.

Justin rolled his eyes. “Fine. You’ve been doing this a ‘bit’ longer than I have. I know you; I’ve seen you in action. Of course you can handle yourself. But knowing that doesn’t stop my heart from pounding in fear every time we’re in these situations. Anything can happen. I learned that a long time ago when my cover got blown. And we both learned it on our last case. I just…fuck Brian, I hate this!” he said, frustrated with his inability to explain his emotions. For that was what this was all about…emotions. And he knew how dangerous it was to work together under these circumstances.

He believed Brian, in his ‘Brianesque’ way, was pointing that very fact out to him right now.

“This is our last case Sunshine. We’re out,” Brian said.

Justin took a deep breath and looked over at him. He held Brian’s gaze for a long moment, then nodded his head in agreement.

Brian smiled and reached over to pull Justin against him. “Good boy,” he whispered against his temple.

Justin snuggled against him and closed his eyes. Brian was right; they both needed to get out. Neither could handle the other being in danger, and there was always danger in their line of work.

“Maybe I’ll take some art classes, like you suggested,” Justin said and then laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Brian asked.

“Hot shot detective turns artist. Jesus, that’s a big stretch isn’t it?”

“Not at all. I see the two lines of work having the same requirements. Talent and guts. And you got plenty of both. But instead of wasting those fine attributes running around chasing bad guys you can channel all that energy into something more creative. This doesn’t mean you’ll lose your edge Sunshine, it just means you find a new outlet for it. You’re unbelievably bold and reckless with your passions, I can only imagine the masterpieces you’d come up with. You’re fearless and you’ve got more raw natural talent than any of Lindsey’s artsy friends. You apply that to your art, and you can be the next Picasso,” Brian said.

Justin huffed at the comparison but smiled at the memory of when Brian told him he reminded him of a Picasso painting.

“I’ll probably end up on the streets living the starving artist life,” he opined sarcastically.

Brian laughed. “You won’t starve Sunshine. I’ll make sure you get at least three solid, protein-rich meals a day,” he said.

Justin playfully elbowed him. “Man cannot live on cock alone,” he said.

They both stared at each other in total disbelief at Justin’s words then busted out laughing.

“Ok, so I’m full of shit. We both proved that theory wrong on numerous occasions,” Justin said, wiping away his tears. It felt good to laugh that hard. Especially considering their current situation.

Brian pulled Justin closer against him. “Seriously, you know that would never happen. Lindsey said you have serious talent. She said that with a little technical training, you could be huge,” he said.

“I’m already huge,” Justin retorted.

Brian reached down and grabbed his cock. “Hmmm…yes, you are, but that’s not what I meant. Lins wouldn’t say that if she didn’t truly believe in you. She wants to sign you for your first showing. I haven’t seen her this excited since Tripp Harrison agreed to do a solo at the gallery she works at,” he said.

“Tripp Harrison?” Justin shrugged his shoulders. “He’s ok. Personally I find his work rudimentary,” he said.

Brian gave him a sly smirk. “Rudimentary, huh? You think you can do better?” he asked.

“Of course,” Justin said without thought, then blushed at his own admission. Brian shot him a ‘I told you so’ look.

“Ok, I’ll think about it,” Justin said.

“Good. And while you’re thinking about that, I’ll be thinking about all those delicious little lies you promised to tell me later when I’m buried balls deep in your ass,” Brian whispered against his ear.

Justin laughed huskily. The sound went straight to Brian’s dick.

“Here you go boys. That’ll be $15.75,” the driver said.

The cab, along with their playful banter came to an abrupt halt. Brian sighed regretfully and released Justin. “Later,” he whispered as he paid the fare. The cab driver thanked them for the huge tip and drove off.

* * *

Soho was a very trendy neighborhood with some of the best restaurants, boutiques, salons, galleries and auction houses in the city. People from all parts of the country, the world even, flocked to this much-acclaimed region of New York. Soho was a city within the big city and a shopper’s Mecca. Just about anything anyone could ever want could be found in Soho.

Justin and Brian took a moment to inspect the buildings lining the street they were on noting the fire escapes, alleys and other exits that could be utilized in case things went down.

“Let’s try to do this without the cowboy routine, ok?” Brian said.

“Hey, haven’t you heard, I’m an artist now,” Justin quipped.

Brian snorted. “Yeah, well I heard Dillenger was an artist too. Specialized in abstract crimson murals,” he replied.

Justin huffed haughtily. “Like Harrison, rudimentary, at best,” he said impishly.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Reckless and arrogant…never a good combination.”

Justin winked at him and entered the building.

PART 2

 

“Where the fuck is the remote!” Tibs yelled out as he lifted the couch cushion.

Jenny walked into the living room carrying their one-year-old son.

“Probably stuck up your ass, you sit on that couch so much! We’re two months behind on the rent and the grocer won’t extend my credit. You need to get some work!” she complained.

Tibs, short for Tiberius, shot her a menacing look. “I told you, I’m waiting on Harmond’s call.”

Jenny curled her lip up in disgust. “He hasn’t called in weeks! You can’t wait anymore! The baby needs new clothes and diapers,” she said.

“If you did your job and potty trained him he wouldn’t need fucking diapers,” Tibs shot back.

“He’s too young to pot –”

Bang, bang, bang.

The unexpected knock at the door left the arguing couple speechless.

“That’s probably Harmond. Take the kid and go in the bedroom,” Tibs said.

Jenny threw him another disgusted look and left the room.

Tibs straightened out the cushions on the couch and went to answer the door.

“About time…oh fuck!” Tibs shrieked out as he realized his mistake a minute too late. He should have looked through the peephole first. Though he had no idea who the tall, good-looking brunet was, he immediately recognized the blond standing next to him on the other side of the door. His being there could only mean one thing.

Not stopping to think, Tibs bolted toward the open window and the fire escape. He didn’t make it past the TV before both men were on him.

“Looks like we got lucky,” Brian said as he pinned the man to the floor, securing his arms behind his back.

Just then, Jenny walked out of the bedroom carrying the baby.

“Fuck!” Justin cursed.

“What’s going on?! Get off of him!” Jenny yelled as the baby started to cry.

“You can’t let her leave. She’ll call Harmond,” Brian said.

Justin cursed again. “Yeah, I know,” he said as he stood and walked towards her.

Jenny immediately started backing up. “Get away from me…I’ll…I’ll…scream!”

Justin was on her before she could open her mouth and pulled the baby from her.

“Oh God no, please, give me my baby,” she begged.

Justin’s heart broke, but he held his resolve. “Shhh…now sweetie. I got you,” he crooned soothingly to the fussing child as he rubbed his back. The baby calmed down and started playing with Justin’s hair.

Brian watched as Justin playfully put the baby’s hand in his mouth. Something in his chest tightened at the sight. The man underneath him started to struggle and Brian pressed his knee into his back, crushing him to the floor.

Justin looked over to the woman. “Jenny Marlow?” he asked.

Jenny put her hand to her mouth. “How do you know my name?” she asked.

“It doesn’t matter, what matters is that you know I’m not going to hurt you or your beautiful baby,” Justin cooed the last part to the child in his arms, “…as long as you cooperate,” he added in that same soothing tone, directing his gaze at the mother. He hated having to use the ruse, but he couldn’t chance she’d call Harmond.

“I’ll do whatever you say,” she said.

“Good,” Justin said before handing the baby back to her, “now go get a fresh bottle of milk and put your son down in his crib.”

Jenny did as she was told, too petrified to disobey. Justin made sure to follow her to the baby’s room to make sure she didn’t use the phone. Once the child was safely in his crib, bottle in hand, he walked Jenny back out to the living room and sat her down on the couch. He then turned to Brian.

“Ok, let’s make this quick,” he said, pulling Tibs up to his feet and slamming him into a nearby chair.

“Who am I? And you better think before you answer because I’m short on patience today. Lie to me, and I promise you, you’ll regret it,” Justin threatened the quivering man.

Tibs swallowed hard. “You’re that…kid, um...cop...” he said.

Brian stood by and watched the exchange. He could smell the man’s fear.

“Very good. Now tell me how do you know me?” Justin asked.

Tibs started sweating. “I…I…read about you in the papers! A few years back. You got bashed…”

Smack!

Justin backhanded him across the face. Blood oozed from the corner of Tibs’s mouth. Jenny choked back a sob.

“I told you I’m short on patience,” he said.

“Ok, ok! Harmond told me about you!” Tibs blurted out.

“And what is your association with Mr. Harmond,” Justin pressed.

“I…um…I help him sometimes,” Tibs said.

“Uh huh. And did you help Mr. Harmond arrange for my little accident?” Justin asked in a dangerous tone.

“NO! I swear I had nothing to do with that! That was his and Kramer’s deal!” Tibs said.

Justin shot Brian a look. Kramer was the guy at the school that Justin had pinned as the drug ring leader before he got bashed. However, his own sergeant had convinced him that he was wrong – that Hobbs was the ringleader. Brian just shook his head sadly.

Justin looked back at Tibs. “What do you know about Kramer?” he asked.

Tibs shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Listen man, I swear, I had no idea what was going down! Kramer was kicking up to Harmond. Harmond tipped him off that you were a narc,” he said.

“And that’s when Kramer decided to take me out,” Justin said.

“I don’t fucking know what went down after that. All I know is that Kramer freaked when he found out. I don’t think Harmond knew what Kramer was planning. I think Kramer did that on his own,” Tibs said.

There was something about the way Tibs was defending Harmond that made Brian suspicious. One of the reasons why he was so good at his job was that he could read people, and right now he sensed Tibs was in serious self-preservation mode. He was protecting Harmond, to save his own skin.

“Bullshit! Harmond recruited you to keep Hobbs busy the night of the attack. You knew something was going down. Why are you protecting him? What does he have on you?” Brian asked.

Justin reached out and grabbed Tibs by the throat.

“I’ll remind you of my lack of patience today Tibs. You better give him the right answer,” he warned.

Tibs started sweating profusely. “Listen man you gotta believe me! I swear I had no idea what Harmond was up to! He just told me to keep Hobbs busy until morning, so I took him to my place in the Village,” he croaked out.

At this point Jenny spoke up. “You have a place in the Village?! We can barely afford this dump! What the fuck would you need a place in the Village for anyway?” she asked, clearly perturbed by Tibs’s confession.

“To take his tricks to fuck of course,” Brian informed her cruelly.

Justin released the man’s throat and sighed heavily. “Bri, really? Was that necessary?” he asked.

“What? Don’t you think she should know that her boyfriend here likes to switch teams now and then?” Brian said.

Jenny stood up from the couch and put her hands on her hips. “What exactly are you saying? Are you telling me that he’s a fag?!” She spit out the epithet in an extremely derisive tone.

“Fudge packing, cock sucking, queer as fuck first class piece of ass too, from what I hear,” Brian said, smirking at the woman.

“Ok, enough. Jenny, sit down. You can discuss your boyfriend’s sexual preferences after we leave. For now I suggest you shut up,” Justin warned.

Jenny frowned but did as she was told. Justin turned back to Tibs.

“So you followed Hobbs to Foxibois and took him home. Did you rufie him?” he asked.

Tibs’s eyes kept darting back and forth between Justin and his girlfriend.

“I had to do it. If I didn’t do it, Harmond said I’d be looking at some serious time!” he said.

“For what?” Justin asked.

“For whatever Harmond wanted to pin on me!” Tibs screeched hysterically. “You know how it works! Evidence gets planted, and you go to jail. Period. I had to do it man. Oh God…please, I got a kid. I can’t do time! Harmond promised I wouldn’t!!” Tibs pleaded.

Justin narrowed his eyes at him. “You do know that right now I could bust you for kidnapping, conspiracy and obstruction of justice,” he said.

Tibs bent over in the chair and put his face in his hands. “Oh God, I’m going to jail…I’m going to jail…” he started chanting.

Brian reached over and pulled him back up roughly. “Stop your fucking whining. Play your cards right and you just might get out of this with no jail time,” he said.

Tibs looked at him hopefully. “Whatever you need me to do man, I’ll do it,” he said.

Brian snorted in disgust. “Just tell the truth. Think you can handle that? You give us a statement telling us all you know about Harmond and Kramer’s relationship and how they basically blackmailed you into being part of their plan to take down a cop, and in exchange we’ll secure you immunity against any criminal charges,” he said.

Justin turned to Brian. “Harmond had to have given Kramer the ok. Kramer wouldn’t have chanced a hit on a cop without inside police protection,” he said.

Brian’s expression grew solemn. “Harmond more than gave the ok. He had to have planned it all. Think about it. If Kramer went down, so would Harmond. Their shared business dealings put both their hides on the line. I doubt Harmond would give a shit about saving some drug dealer’s ass, but he sure as fuck would do whatever it took to save his own. So he gives Kramer the ok to take you out while he arranges for the cover up, using Tibs here to occupy Hobbs so he could plant the evidence in his apartment. Framing him for it all. The drug dealing, the attack. Then, just for insurance, he gets Weston to turn evidence on Hobbs, saying he ordered the hit on you instead of Kramer, in exchange for the lesser charge of aggravated assault instead of what it was – attempted murder. Not that it did any good. The judge still threw the book at him, but by then he’d already perjured himself. Harmond played this one beautifully,” he spit out bitterly.

Justin felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. Harmond played him beautifully! As to Kramer…well something there didn’t make sense.

“I agree. Harmond had to be behind it all. The attack, framing Hobbs…but what I don’t understand is Kramer’s role. If he knew I was undercover all along, why did he let me get so close? Why would he be so careless and risk his whole operation?” Justin asked.

“My guess would be that he didn’t know who you were until it was too late. Harmond got too cocky and comfortable with his and Kramer’s business arrangement. He withheld the information he had on you from Kramer because he didn’t want to see his cash flow interrupted. He probably didn’t want to spook Kramer into shutting down his operation by telling him there was a cop in the school. From what you told me, Kramer was very careful who he let into his little circle. He would never let a new kid in. And Harmond was banking on that, so he didn’t see the risk. But Harmond didn’t know about your relationship with Hobbs. Kramer, however, was privy to everything that went on in that school. He must have gotten wind of your affair with a teacher, which, though you didn’t plan it that way, was probably your ticket in. A cop certainly wouldn’t be fucking a teacher…a badass student, however, would. So, he recruited you. I doubt Kramer told Harmond about his day-to-day operations. In fact, Harmond wouldn’t want to know – he was just interested in his percentage. But when he found out you were coming in with hard evidence against Kramer he panicked, and that’s when the proverbial shit hit the fan,” Brian concluded.

Justin ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Or, more accurately, when the bat hit my head.” Brian cringed at the accurate description.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Justin cursed, running his hand through his hair. “I fucking knew better! I should never have gotten involved with Hobbs. This is my fault.”

Brian grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him hard. “Shut the fuck up! You were doing your job! Don’t fucking tell me that if you had to do it all over again you wouldn’t do the same thing! Kramer was selling dope to kids! You had to stop him! It was your job and if that meant you had to fuck a teacher to get close to the drug dealer, then you would have! Why? Because the trade off is you save lives! It’s what we do Justin; it’s why we went into this business to begin with. We make these moral choices every God damned day! Someone has to. We choose to do the dirty work no one else is willing to do because in the end, we save a hell of a lot more lives than we risk. We made the same hard choices in our last assignment. We did what we had to do to stop the violence in that school, and yeah, it was messy and people got hurt, but we fucking saved that school from a possible repeat performance of Columbine!” Brian paused and took a deep breath.

“This is all on Harmond’s head. He’s the one with blood on his hands, not you. He could have easily kept his little business arrangement with Kramer going if he was smart. But he wasn’t, he was greedy. He should have told Kramer to shut down the moment he knew you were going in, but no. He risked your life and the lives of all the kids in that school just so he could keep getting his percentage! As for Hobbs, what happened between you two may have been unplanned, but if you needed him to achieve your goal, you would have used him. And don’t you dare ever feel guilty for that! Yeah, he got caught in the cross fire but trust me, if not him, Harmond would have found someone else to pin everything on. Probably another teacher or some unsuspecting kid who you happened to make friends with. Nothing you did could have prevented this,” Brian insisted.

Justin bit his bottom lip hard to stop the overwhelming emotions that were threatening to spill forth. He hated to admit it to himself but Brian was right. His relationship with Chris was what convinced Kramer he could be trusted, and that was his goal from the beginning. And the truth was, it didn’t matter that he had real feelings for Chris. Real or not, he would have used their relationship if he knew it would get him in with Kramer, because in his line of work, the end, when lives were at stake, justified the means. And that was always the moral dilemma in his profession.

He looked up at Brian with distraught eyes. “You’re right. I would have used Hobbs to get to Kramer if I had to regardless of my feelings for him. But Jesus, Brian, what does that say about me?” he asked.

Brian’s eyes grew angry. “It says that you have the courage to stand by your convictions. It says that you’re willing to make the hard choices, for the right reasons. Justin…in our line of work we can’t afford moments of moral uncertainties. We start questioning our every move and people die. How many good cops have you seen shot down, dead, because they couldn’t shoot first? We make the hard, but right, choices for the good of the people. The people you were sworn to serve and protect, and don’t you ever forget that,” he cautioned.

Justin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Brian was right; there was no use in dwelling on the moral implications of his past choices. He had made them, and he’d live with them. It was a fucking dirty job, but like Brian said, someone had to do it. He just didn’t want to be that someone anymore…

“You know that artist gig is starting to look better and better by the moment,” he said wistfully.

Brian sighed in relief and let go of him. “Yeah,” he said, “better and better.”

Everyone in the room got eerily quiet.

“So, what do we do now?” Justin asked, breaking the silence.

Brian rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Who can you trust at the station?”

Justin’s lips tightened. “At this point? No one,” he said.

Brian nodded and pulled out his cell. “Then I’ll call Carl, we’ll need his help,” he said.

“We gotta call Internal Affairs too and we’ll need to pull from another precinct to protect Hobbs and Teresa until they lock down Harmond…and whoever else was working with him,” Justin said in a deadpan voice.

Brian’s heart went out to him. He knew his blond was working on auto pilot at this point…shocked to learn that while he was doing his job, risking his life and compromising his moral code in order to do what he was honor bound to do, someone or maybe more than one person in his own precinct, who took the same oath as him, had betrayed that oath, and worse in his mind, had hurt the innocent while aiding the guilty. That was an infraction Justin could never forgive.

“What’s going to happen to me?” Tibs said.

Brian dialed his cell and put it to his ear. “You and your family will be put into protective custody until you testify,” he said.

Justin walked over to Jenny. “You’re going to have a lot of people here in the next few hours. Don’t be scared. Just do as they say. Everything’s going to be fine,” he said.

Jenny looked up at him with anxious eyes. “Are you sure he’s not going to go to jail? I mean…he’s all we got,” she said.

Justin wanted to feel pity for her but he couldn’t. It was obvious she found her boyfriend repugnant, especially now after learning he was bisexual…though to her that wouldn’t matter, he’ll always be a fag in her mind. The only reason she kept him around was for financial support.

“I’ll make sure no charges are brought against him for his part in this,” Justin assured her.

“What about his priors?” she asked.

Justin’s brow shot up. “What priors?” he asked.

Jenny’s mouth twisted up disapprovingly. “Since I’ve known him he’s been in and out of jail for something or another. Usually drug related. He was good for a while but then a few years back he fucked up and got arrested for grand larceny and possession. With his past record he was looking at some serious time but Harmond pulled some strings and got him five years probation instead, and in exchange Tibs agreed to give him information now and then. His past criminal record won’t affect him getting immunity if he testifies against Harmond will it?” Jenny asked.

Justin groaned loudly. Brian ended his call and walked over to him. “What’s up?”

“Tibs’s statement is useless. He’s got priors and he’s on probation. He’s not a credible witness. Harmond’s going to have Union representation. They’ll rip Tibs’s statement to shreds,” Justin said.

Brian frowned. “Well, this just keeps getting better and better. Carl’s on his way here. For now he’s keeping it between us but he thinks you should call Internal Affairs right away,” he said.

Justin shook his head. “I can’t call them until we have something more solid than a statement from a guy who’s got a record,” he said.

“What do you have in mind?” Brian asked.

Justin pulled Brian into the kitchen where they couldn’t be heard.

“We get Harmond on tape confessing,” he said.

Brian looked at him dubiously. “And how do you suppose we pull that rabbit out of the hat?”

“We use Hobbs and Tibs as bait.”

PART 3

 

Carl patted Hobbs down to make sure he was properly wired under the vest. Then he turned to Tibs and did the same.

“Now remember boys, Brian and Justin are going to be right in the next room. You’ll both be well protected. And these vests can stop a 45 magnum at close range,” he said.

Justin, who was standing by the window peering out, turned to the men in the room. “Assuming Harmond doesn’t shoot them in the head,” he remarked.

Hobbs shot him an unappreciative look. “That’s not funny,” he said.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny. I want you to realize the seriousness of the situation. I don’t want you to underestimate the danger you’re putting yourself in. It’s not too late to back out if you want,” Justin said.

Hobbs sighed. “I’m not backing out. I understand the risks. I have to do this if I want my name cleared. I may be a free man, but I’m still guilty in the minds of half the cops in this city. That makes me a target, and worse, it puts my sister and niece in danger,” he said.

“Hey man, what about me? I’m not exactly keen on the idea of having my head blown off!” Tibs protested as he started getting cold feet.

Brian turned to him. “Trust me, if Harmond decides to shoot anyone, it won’t be you. It’s Hobbs he’s after. He knows that if Hobbs gets to Justin first, Justin might believe him and start asking questions. It’s why he’s been tearing up the city looking for him. You’re no threat to Harmond. Even if you turned evidence on Harmond no one would believe you, not with your record. But, if we get Harmond on tape confessing to framing Hobbs and sanctioning the hit on Justin, then your testimony might prove valuable, if for no other reason then to corroborate Harmond’s confession. It’s in your best interest to do this Tibs, because if you don’t, you’re looking at serious jail time,” Brian tried to explain.

“Fuck this! Harmond’s a fucking animal. I’d rather do the time then risk getting killed!” Tibs protested.

“You need more incentive?” Brian asked. “Fine, how about this then…if you back out now, I’ll kill you myself. That’s a promise,” he said in a voice that left no doubt in anyone’s mind that he meant it.

“Hey! I didn’t hear that!” Carl said.

Tibs’s face blanched. “That’s a threat…” he whispered in a shaky voice.

“No, it’s a promise. You fuck this up Tibs, and you won’t live to regret it,” he said.

Tibs gulped nervously. No one in the room was protesting the threat. He knew how cops operated, and he knew right then and there he had no option. He had to do what they wanted or else he’d be tomorrow’s headlines. Though in his case, his murder would be buried in the back pages somewhere.

“He’s here,” Justin said from his position at the window.

Carl handed Tibs the gun loaded with blanks. “I’ll be in the apartment across from here listening to everything. You guys know the plan. Any last minute questions, you better ask them now,” he said.

When Carl had arrived at Tibs’s apartment several hours ago, Brian and Justin had already come up with a plan. One that Carl had to admit might work. They had Tibs call up Harmond and tip him off to Hobbs’s location. The plan was for Harmond to find Tibs holding Hobbs in the apartment at gunpoint with the excuse that after he called him he saw Hobbs leave the apartment so he forced him back in to wait for Harmond. That would give Tibs some cover, and give Harmond the impression he had an ally. Then it was up to Hobbs to get Harmond to confess to what he did. Having recognized Tibs from that night two years ago, Hobbs would question Harmond on his suspicions in hopes Harmond would confirm them. Carl would be recording everything in the apartment across from them. It was a pretty straightforward plan and had a good chance of working. If they didn’t fuck it up. Justin and Brian would be close by in the bedroom, ready to jump in if things went south.

“No we’re good,” Hobbs said.

Tibs just scowled.

Carl nodded and headed out while Brian and Justin retreated to the bedroom. Hobbs reached out and grabbed Justin’s arm as he passed him. “Thanks,” he said.

Justin held his gaze for a moment. “I owe you this,” he said.

Chris shook his head. “No, you don’t. You almost got killed. I went to jail. None of this was our fault. You didn’t have to help me, no one helped you,” he said.

Justin smiled softly at him. “The important thing is the person responsible is finally going to pay. I don’t want you to worry, you’ll be fine, I’ll protect you,” he said.

Hobbs nodded, acknowledging that he trusted Justin.

Brian stood by and squelched down his jealousy. “Come on, it’s time,” he said.

Justin followed him into the bedroom.

* * *

Knock, knock

“Open up! Police!” Harmond called out.

He never took chances. He had no idea who or what was waiting for him on the other side. He’d play this straight, until he didn’t have to.

Tibs went to open the door, holding the gun Carl gave him.

“Hey, I’ve been –”

“Drop the fucking gun now!” Harmond yelled, pointing his gun at Tibs’s head.

Tibs immediately dropped the gun.

“It’s cool man it’s cool! Shit! I needed the gun to stop him! I was watching the building, waiting for you when I saw him leave; I followed him and forced him at gunpoint to come back here to wait for you! I got the gun from Manny. I’ve been doing some collections for him,” Tibs tried to stick to his story, though it was hard when he was just about to shit his pants in fear.

Harmond looked over at Hobbs who was sitting in a chair across the room, then back at Tibs. He put his gun away and closed the door behind him. He then picked up Tibs’s gun.

“Manny? You collecting for Manny now?” he asked.

Tibs cringed. “I had to man! You ain’t called me in weeks, I needed the cash,” he said.

Harmond snarled at him. “Yeah, well things have been slow. How long have you been collecting for Manny?” he asked.

“About 3 weeks now,” Tibs answered.

“Three weeks huh? Tell Manny he owes me a month’s commission if he wants to stay in business,” Harmond said.

Justin and Brian listened to the exchange from the next room.

…‘Figures Harmond’s first thought was money,’ Justin thought.

“Ok, ok! Listen, what are we gonna do with this guy?” he asked before leaning in to whisper to Harmond, “He’s seen me man, and he knows who I am! He’s putting two and two together and asking a lot of questions!”

Harmond shrugged and approached Hobbs. “So? Let him ask questions. Not a fucking thing he can do about it now,” he said.

‘Bingo’, Justin thought.

Hobbs looked up at Harmond not bothering to hide his contempt. “Why? I don’t understand. What the fuck did I ever do to you?” he asked.

Harmond laughed. “Not a fucking thing…well other than help me out. I should say thank you, but you couldn’t just fucking stay put could you? Had to call your fancy lawyer friend to spring you. Stupid,” he said.

“You expected me to stay in jail?!” Hobbs asked incredulously. “I was innocent! You fucking framed me and I want to know why God damn it!” he demanded.

Justin was impressed with Hobbs’s performance. If it was one. He had a feeling Hobbs was working out some of the pain and frustrations he’d been harboring the past two years and that was dangerous. It could get him killed.

Harmond glared at him. “You’re in no position to demand anything,” he said.

Hobbs snorted. “Fucking coward! You tried to kill Justin, didn’t you? And then you tried to pin it on me!” he bravely, yet foolishly, lashed out at Harmond.

Harmond reached out and grabbed him by the throat.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to you little weasel?!” he asked in a menacing tone. He leaned in so close that his nose was nearly touching Hobbs’s. “Taylor was threatening my business arrangement with Kramer! He had to go!” he said before his voice eerily changed. “Why so upset princess? I thought you liked being fucked by cops,” he drawled almost seductively.

Hobbs started making small choking sounds in the back of his throat as Harmond’s grip tightened around his neck.

“How did that feel? Having Taylor ram his cock in your ass while you were bent over your desk in the classroom? Or was it more thrilling when he fucked you in a stall in the boy’s bathroom? Did he make you feel special? Did you think he really cared for you or did you know he was a cop using you all along? Tell me, did you squeal like a pig for him? I heard you squealed real loud in prison,” he said and smiled when Hobbs’s eyes popped out in surprise…that and lack of oxygen.

“Oh yeah, my friends at the prison told me all about the fun they had with you. Tell me, did you think of your pretty blond boyfriend while you were getting your ass raped?” he said, then huffed out a laugh. “Do you think Taylor ever gave you a second thought? No, I suppose not,” he ended with a sigh.

Brian had to hold Justin back at that point. Rage boiled through him at hearing Harmond’s taunts.

“Hey man you mind if I split?” Tibs said, trying to get Harmond’s attention away from Hobbs.

Harmond released his hold on Chris’s neck and turned on Tibs.

“You’ll go when I tell you to,” he said.

Chris slumped over and gasped for air. Harmond turned back to him and pulled him up by his hair.

“We got some unfinished business here,” he said.

Chris did the unthinkable. He spit in Harmond’s face.

“Fuck you! Go ahead, kill me! You couldn’t kill Justin you incompetent piece of shit! Maybe you’ll have better luck getting rid of me!”

Justin groaned inwardly from the next room.

‘…What the fuck? Did Chris have a death wish’ he wondered.

Harmond saw red. He backhanded Chris across the face, hard. Chris’s head snapped to the side.

“That was Kramer’s fuck up!” Harmond screamed at him. “He sent that amateur Weston to do a job he should have taken care of himself! I practically gave Taylor to him on a silver platter! I set it up! I had Tibs keep you busy while I planted the evidence that framed you! All he had to do was kill Taylor and he fucking failed!” Harmond paused and snarled in Hobbs’s face. “But trust me little man, I won’t fail!” he said, then raised Tibs’s gun, the one he picked up from the floor that Tibs had dropped, and pointed it at Hobbs’s head. He then pulled his own gun out from his holster and aimed it at Tibs behind him.

“And this time, that snitch is going to take the fall,” he said.

That was Justin and Brian’s cue. They rushed in, guns drawn.

“Put the guns down Harmond, NOW!” Justin screamed at him.

Right at that moment, Carl busted in the front door and slammed into Tibs, knocking him to the floor. Harmond fired both guns. The bullet from his gun splintered the front door. The other gun shot blanks at Chris’s head.

“What the…” he never had a chance to finish his sentence. Both Brian and Justin were on him. They tackled him to the floor and disarmed him.

“You ok Carl?” Brian called out as he cuffed Harmond’s hands behind his back.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Got everything on tape,” he said.

Brian and Justin rose, leaving Harmond on the floor, face down, hands cuffed behind his back.

“Time to call I.A.,” Brian said, turning to Justin.

Justin ignored him.

“Justin…” Brian tried to get his blonds’ attention without success. His focus was on the man lying on the floor. Brian bit his bottom lip. He knew that look, and it didn’t bode well for Harmond. No sooner had the thought left his head when Justin, without warning, kicked Harmond, hard, in the side.

“You fucking lousy piece of shit!” he growled at him and proceeded to kick him in the side over and over again.

Carl cursed, seeing that Brian wasn’t going to stop him and rushed forward.

“Easy now…” he said grabbing Justin around the waist and pulling him back. Justin let Carl pull him away, but made sure to get one last kick in that resulted in a loud ‘crunching’ noise.

Harmond screamed out in pain, rolling to his other side in an attempt to ward off the blows.

“Who’s squealing now you pig?” Justin asked, then ripped out of Carl’s hold and rushed forward to give Harmond one last kick…this time to his balls.

Harmond let out a horrid keening noise and brought his knees up to his chest.

“Justin…enough,” Brian said.

Justin responded to Brian’s voice this time and turned away from the pitiful man on the floor.

“Call the paramedics,” he told Carl.

Carl shook his head sadly.

“You know this ain’t gonna go down well. You broke at least one of his ribs, and God knows what damage you did just now with that last kick. I.A.’s gonna ask questions. You could be charged with assault, maybe lose your badge,” Carl said.

Hobbs stood up and walked over to Harmond.

“I didn’t see Justin assault this man,” he said, right before he kicked Harmond on his good side. Harmond screamed.

“Why would Justin lose his badge for something I did?” Hobbs asked with feigned innocence.

“The man was going to kill me, and Tibs. Tibs knocked him down, after he shot and missed him, and I kept kicking him to make sure he stayed down until you got here. If I had let him up, he would have tried to kill us again. It was self defense,” Hobbs said.

Brian looked at the man with new respect.

“Chris…”

“No, Justin. That’s what happened,” he said.

Justin looked over to Carl. Carl sighed and cursed.

“The fucking things I do for you Kinney,” he said as he proceeded to call the incident in.

PART 4

Internal Affairs were first on the scene. After hearing the tape recording, it was decided that Justin’s whole department was going to be investigated. Twenty minutes later, which was standard response time to that particular neighborhood, the paramedics, along with several police officers, arrived. I.A. arranged for Harmond to be taken into custody outside the borough of Manhattan…to an undisclosed location. Hobbs and Tibs were escorted down to I.A. headquarters to give their statements. Carl went with them to present his evidence – the taped confession. He didn’t trust anyone with it, especially not with NYPD’s recent record.

Brian and Justin stood outside on the street watching the last of the police vehicles drive away. Other than a few nosy neighbors, the area was clear. Brian turned to Justin.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

Justin shrugged his shoulders. “Fine,” he said. Brian didn’t say a word…he waited.

“No, that’s not true, I’m not fine,” Justin said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I know…but you will be,” Brian said.

Justin shook his head angrily.

“That man caused so much damage to so many people. Me, Hobbs, Teresa and her daughter, and now good cops at my precinct are going to be under suspicion because of his actions. Innocent or not, this investigation will be a stain on their record,” he said.

Brian pulled a cigarette out and lit it. He took a drag and handed it to Justin.

“Yeah…life sucks Sunshine. But at least, this time…the bad guy didn’t go free, and the good guy did. That should give you some consolation,” he said.

Justin took the cigarette from Brian and pulled hard on it. He blew the smoke out in one long breath that was more like a sigh. “Some…” he said, then took another drag of the cigarette before handing it back to Brian.

“I guess some is about as good as I’m going to get in this case. I couldn’t ask for a better outcome considering the circumstances. I’m glad it’s over,” he said, pausing to look at Brian. “There’s just one more thing I need to do, then we can go home.”

Brian eyed him suspiciously. “Why am I suddenly concerned?” he asked, tongue in cheek.

Justin gave him a weak smile. “Don’t be. I just need to talk to Lewinski before I go,” he said.

Brian took one last drag of the cigarette, then crushed it out beneath his boot-clad foot.

“Do you think that’s wise? I know you have a lot of questions for him, but you don’t want to risk tipping him off with your suspicions. It might jeopardize I.A.’s investigation. It’s in their hands now. They will determine his guilt or innocence. Confronting him isn’t going to speed that process along, in fact, it might only serve to put Lewinski on his guard, making it harder for I.A. to build a case against him,” he said.

Brian knew Justin was more than curious to know how far up the corruption in his unit went, but that was I.A.’s job now. He just wanted to take his blond and get the fuck out of there. Their business in NYC was done as far as he was concerned.

Justin let out a small laugh. “Fuck Lewinski. I don’t care whether or not he was technically involved. This shit happened on his watch. As far as I’m concerned he is responsible. I.A. will figure out to what extent. No, I have only one reason why I need to see Lewinski again,” he said.

Brian raised a brow at him. “And what reason would that be?” he asked.

Justin put his arm around Brian’s shoulder. “To hand in my resignation, of course.”

A smile as big as the Grand Canyon split across Brian’s face. He pulled his blond in and kissed him heartily. “Now there’s one assignment I’m going to enjoy watching you do!”


	21. Chapter 21

“Come on, just one more. For me,” Justin brazenly coaxed as he straddled Brian’s naked form, grinding his cock against him, creating the most exquisite sensation.

Brian hissed and arched his back off the chaise, nearly dislodging his blond. “Stop tempting me,” he said, grabbing onto Justin’s thighs, “I’ve had enough. Besides, you know I don’t eat carbs after seven.”

Justin laughed throatily and brought the fork full of leftover birthday cake from Gus’s party to Brian’s mouth. “Never enough,” he purred. “Can’t you make an exception…just this once?” he pleaded seductively as he waved the fork in front of him.

Brian playfully turned his head away but Justin wasn’t letting him off that easy. He gathered some of the icing off the cake and smeared it over Brian’s lips…then leaned forward and proceeded to lick the sweet confection up.

Brian opened his mouth to receive Justin’s tongue and wasn’t the least surprised when his blond took advantage of the move and slipped the forkful of cake into his mouth. He laughed at the ploy, yet ate the cake. He then grabbed the back of Justin’s neck and pulled him in for a hard kiss.

Justin moaned into his mouth. He brought his hand, the one holding the fork, up over the chaise and crushed his naked body flush against Brian’s, pushing them both deeper into the supple cushion of the Italian divan.

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist securing his blond tightly against him. He then moved his mouth to Justin’s ear.

“You know, you never did make good on that promise,” he whispered in a hoarse, lust-filled voice.

Justin mewled and rubbed his ear over Brian’s mouth. “What promise?” he lazily asked, too distracted by Brian’s licentious attention to his lobe to comprehend his meaning.

Brian bit down on his ear and Justin hissed in pleasure-pain.

“As I recall, it had something to do with your desire to entertain me with all sorts of inane sycophantic bullshit,” Brian growled before proceeding to lick the sting away.

Justin sat back up and chuckled. “Oh, that promise,” he said, gracing Brian with a lethal smile. Brian sucked his breath in knowing he had no defense against it.

“Well as I recall,” Justin said, leaning forward once again to offer his ear for more of Brian’s ministrations, “you said you’d only be inclined to believe my‘bullshit’ if you were buried balls deep in my ass,” he purred out contently.

Brian drove his tongue deep into Justin’s ear making his blond tremble from the erotic sensation. He then snaked his tongue down Justin’s cheek to the corner of his mouth and rasped out, “That can be arranged.”

Justin turned his head slightly to capture Brian’s mouth with his own. Their tongues met and dueled for dominance, each desperate to satisfy their seemingly endless thirst for the other. Justin could think of no other drug that was as intoxicating as one of Brian’s kisses; it was stronger than the most potent aphrodisiac.

Brian, being the egotistical sexual being he was, was acutely aware of his “gift” and used it more skillfully than a Samurai warrior wielding his sword. Sometimes his kiss was hot and rough, intended to exert control and sexual dominance. Other times it was soft and gentle, a gesture, if you will, of approval and affection. But no matter what the intent, his kiss was always, always demanding. Demanding to be heard – to be acknowledged and accepted.

Justin had learned this about Brian the very first time they met that day in the coffee shop when his Adonis had reached over and kissed Tina, the Barista girl. Justin knew that kiss was Brian’s way of sending him a message – “I’m in control…I call the shots.” And Justin heard him. The kiss was also his way of showing Tina gratitude for the great service she’d given Brian over the years. He could have just settled with the card and flowers he’d given her, but no, that wasn’t how Brian did things…it wasn’t in the Brian Kinney manual. A tome Justin was just learning how to decipher.

One of the very first lessons Justin had gleaned from the Kinney manual was that Brian very rarely used words to communicate emotions, opting instead to demonstrate his feelings through action. He showed his love in the way he cared for people in his life – his son, Lindsey, Michael, and all his adopted family. He took care of them the way they needed to be taken care of, even if that meant his own needs were put on hold. To Brian, that was true love. Words meant shit. Staged gestures in the name of love meant shit. Love was an altruistic act, not a contrived statement.

And when it came to men, Brian was even more distrustful of words – specifically flattery – which was why Justin was now weary that Brian was asking him, though playfully, to “talk sweet” to him. To flatter him. He knew it started as a joke days ago at the bar. It was just playful sexual banter at the time that Justin had completely forgotten about. Obviously, Brian hadn’t.

Why? Justin wondered, though it was hard to think about anything other than the way in which Brian was sucking on his tongue right now.

“Mmmuuh,” he moaned his pleasure into Brian’s mouth causing him to intensify the kiss.

The kiss…it always came back to his kiss.

Fuck! Justin realized with a start. Brian was “talking” to him now. He always expressed himself, his needs, in his kiss. Even with his tricks he made his intentions clear in that first kiss. Usually it said, “I’m going to fuck you and it doesn’t mean a damn thing past that,” and the tricks usually understood the message loud and clear. But Brian never kissed Justin like that. Not even the first time. Oh, he tried, but that message quickly changed to, “Oh shit, you’re going to be trouble.” Justin heard that loud and clear in that very first kiss. Since then, he had mastered the art of deciphering Brian’s messages through his kiss. Well, at least he believed so.

Right now, Justin was having a hard time discerning what Brian was trying to convey to him. It was right there, on the surface – in the way his mouth moved almost reverently over his own, in his breathing, which alternated between hot gasping pants to little shuddering sighs, released into his mouth. It was there in the way his tongue worked furiously seeking answers…answers Justin wanted to give him, but not “hearing” the question, didn’t know how to respond. For some reason, Brian was holding back. Why, Justin didn’t know but perhaps, he thought with sudden impish impulse, opening up other lines of communication might help him better receive the message.

Lifting himself up a bit, he grabbed hold of Brian’s cock with his free hand and pressed it against his heated entrance. He was more than ready for his lover; they had just fucked not twenty minutes before. He broke the kiss just for a moment to look down into his lover’s eyes.

“Well then, why don't we put that theory to the test?” he said, knowing that whatever he wasn’t hearing in his kiss, he would most certainly hear once their bodies were joined. Everything became crystal clear when Brian was inside of him.

Something primal flashed in Brian’s eyes. He grabbed Justin by his hips and pulled him down hard, embedding himself deeply into his warmth with one swift, smooth upward thrust.

Justin let out a deep, throaty groan as his body capitulated to the mind-blowing sensation of being taken. He sat back, dropping the fork from his hand as he adjusted himself to the fullness inside of him.

“Oh, Jesus, that feels so fucking good…” he crowed, bringing his hands down to grab onto Brian’s waist, his fingers digging into his skin in an attempt to anchor himself.

Brian cupped Justin’s ass and took control of the fuck. He lifted him up off his cock, then slammed him back down again until his balls screamed for entry. He mercilessly repeated this movement over and over again, gyrating his hips in concert with his thrusts.

Justin gave himself over to his lover completely. His head lolled back in blissful abandonment – his face flushed deep red, his eyes hooded to tiny slits as he struggled to keep them open, and his mouth drooped slightly open to let short, labored, passion-filled breaths escape from between his swollen lips…swollen from his lover’s kiss.

Brian watched him in awe; his cock throbbed painfully inside Justin’s tight, hot ass at the sight of him in the throes of ecstasy. His blond never looked more beautiful…more perfect. It was times like this Brian felt doubt – doubt that it was even possible that someone this amazing could love him. It was times like this he didn’t feel worthy.

…and through the haze of raging desire…Justin heard him.

He immediately felt the shift in Brian. He lifted his head and stared down into Brian’s eyes. All the love, passion, and awe shone from the hazel orbs, but there was something else there too…something that clutched at Justin’s heart. Fear.

This is what he’s been holding back; what he’s been trying to tell me, he suddenly realized.

Justin knew in that instant what Brian needed of him. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Will you believe me now?” he asked, breathing the words hotly into the brunet’s mouth.

Brian arched up while pulling Justin down harder on his cock. Justin let out a deep moan.

“Well, will you?” he asked again, resisting the urge to give in to his own needs.

Brian, lost in his own sexual haze, took a minute to comprehend Justin’s words. “Now?” he asked, with a hint of confusion and frustration in his voice.

Justin rested his forehead against his mouth and sighed deeply. “Yes, now, with you buried balls deep in me, will you believe me?” he said, his body shivering in anticipation of Brian’s response.

Brian tasted the salty sweat on his blonds, skin and drank it in. This was playful sexual banter – nothing more he told himself. Yet… he wanted it to be more. He wanted something he wasn’t even sure Justin could deliver, but he was willing to let his blond try.

He pulled Justin’s face up for a quick hard kiss then released him. “Maybe…” he said, rocking his hips up, hitting Justin’s prostate at just the right angle.

Justin hissed at the move. “Fuck, Brian, play fair.”

Brian smiled. “You didn’t think I was going to make this easy for you, did you?”

Justin didn’t return his smile. Instead, he placed his hands on the sides of Brian’s face and held him, locking their eyes together. “Nothing about you is easy,” he said.

Brian didn’t respond, he just held on to his gaze as if the connection was the only thing preventing him from falling into some dismal abyss.

Justin ran the pad of his thumb along Brian’s bottom lip. “Chinese algebra is easier than you,” he said, this time gracing him with a wry smile.

Brian’s tongue darted out to lick the explorative finger, his eyes never leaving Justin’s. His breathing became more even, more focused. Justin knew he had his attention.

“But as the saying goes…nothing worth having ever comes easy,” he pressed forward. Brian pulled his thumb into his mouth and gently sucked on it. Justin took a deep breath and continued. “You are by far the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. You ooze sex from every pore, driving men, and women, absolutely crazy with desire for you. You can have anyone you want…with just a glance men and women fall at your feet, you’re that hot,” he said, then paused and tilted his head impishly to the side. “How am I doing so far?” he asked.

Brian released his thumb from his mouth and gave it a gentle kiss. “Not bad,” he said, “but I’ve heard better.”

Justin laughed and pulled back from him, the movement causing Brian’s cock to jump inside of him. Justin had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop the wave of pleasure coursing through him. Once he was in control again he gazed back down at Brian. “I’m sure you have,” he said, “but…do you believe me?”

Brian lifted a brow at him. “I know my sexual appeal, Sunshine. Can’t dispute, or disbelieve, a fact,” he answered.

Justin placed his hands on Brian’s shoulders and started to rock slowly back and forth, ever so gently on Brian’s cock. “True. It is a fact. It’s also a fact that you are the most amazing lover. So good, that you’re sexual prowess is legendary,” Justin said.

Brian grabbed on to his hips. “Hmmm…so I’ve heard,” he said, his voice growing hoarse from his own mounting pleasure. Justin’s slow rocking fuck was driving him mad.

“But,” Justin continued, “do you believe me?”

Brian’s eyes fluttered shut as his breathing grew shallower.

“I’m a great fuck…another fact, so yeah,” he said in a strained voice as he tried to keep up with his blonds, inane ramblings. You asked for this remember? he somberly thought.

Justin leaned over and purred into his ear. “You seem to like facts.”

“Currently, I find them exceedingly annoying,” Brian said.

Justin let out another small laugh. “Most men wouldn’t be annoyed by being told how hot they were or how great of a lover they were,” he said.

Brian groaned in frustration. “I’m not most men Sunshine.”

“True, that’s what makes you so exceptional…another fact,” Justin said, kissing his ear.

Brian shivered as Justin’s hot, wet tongue lapped at his lobe. Ok, so maybe not so annoying, he thought.

Justin continued to ride Brian’s cock and tongue fuck his ear for several, long, agonizing minutes before he spoke again. “I have one more fact for you, then I want you to cum. I want to feel your cock throb and pulse in my ass. I want to feel your cum coat the inside of me, filling me. I want to squeeze down on you hard, milking every drop from you. And then I want you to stay inside of me until I fall asleep,” Justin whispered into his ear.

Brian groaned deeply. “You better make it fast then Sunshine, cause I’m about to cum now,” he said, gripping Justin’s cock. He started pumping it in rhythm with his thrusts.

It was nearly Justin’s undoing, but he gathered every ounce of energy he had to hang on.

“I’m yours,” he said, lifting his head to look at Brian, whose eyes were closed, his face beautifully contorted in ecstasy. God, could he be more beautiful? he thought.

Brian arched his back and gritted his teeth, hissing out his pleasure.

“Brian, did you hear me?!” Justin panted out as he continued to watch Brian’s face.

“I’m yours. I belong to you and will continue to for as long as you want me…and long after that,” he managed to croak out. His orgasm was quickly approaching but he held back. He wouldn’t allow himself to cum until he was certain Brian acknowledged what he was saying.

“Do you believe me, Brian?” he asked. Brian ignored him as his body tensed in response to his own impending orgasm. Justin’s body immediately reacted to it. He felt his balls pull up, indicating he was seconds away from cumming. He bit down on his lip hard, trying to ward off the release his body demanded.

“Goddamn it Brian, tell me you believe me!” he screamed out in frustration.

Unfortunately, his body wouldn’t let him hold out for an answer. As soon as the words left his mouth white, hot bolts of electrifying sensations coursed through his veins; singeing every nerve ending in his body with blinding pleasure. He trembled and convulsed from the intensity of his orgasm, shouting out his lover’s name as his cock jerked in Brian’s hands, spraying hot cum all over them. Somewhere through the haze of his coitus bliss Justin heard Brian’s own cry of release before he collapsed on top of him.

Some time later, as he lay on his lover’s cum-coated chest, his cheek firmly plastered to the damp skin, Justin felt Brian’s hand run through his hair. He turned his head to look up at him, too weak to lift any other part of his body, and froze at the intensity in his lover’s gaze. Many years later Justin would still recall the sound of Brian’s voice – the complete raw honesty in his tone when he uttered those three little words he so desperately longed to hear.

“I believe you.”

PART 2

“You know I never had a virgin before,” Justin said, coming down into the living room from the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

Brian was in the kitchen brewing a fresh pot of coffee. He looked over at his beloved Divan. “I feel like a lecher. Violating Malmo like we did,” he sighed regretfully as he placed a cup of coffee on the counter for Justin.

Justin walked over to the kitchen. “We were gentle,” he teased as he hoisted himself up on the kitchen stool, shaking his wet hair, causing droplets of water to spray Brian.

Brian made a face and stepped back a bit, holding his hand up in a feeble attempt to fend off the impending soaking he was about to get. “I think we exchanged enough fluids last night to last awhile, don’t you?” he asked, failing to keep the mirth from his voice.

Justin stopped shaking his head and graced him with one of his Sunshine smiles. His hair was disheveled; strands of wet, golden locks were plastered to the side of his face while other, more slightly dry pieces of hair stuck straight up in the air. Brian thought he looked utterly adorable. And yes, he knew that was a lesbianic thought, but he didn’t give a shit.

“Never enough,” Justin responded with a mischievous grin. He picked up his coffee and took a sip.

Brian feigned annoyance. “Malmo might disagree. We’ve ruined her. She’s never going to be the same. I’m probably going to have to reupholster her now,” he abjectly stated as he wiped the moisture from his face with a kitchen towel.

Justin nearly choked on his coffee he laughed so hard. Brian’s face broke out in a grin. His blond was absolutely giddy, and not in a revolting way, this morning. His face literally shone with delight. His smile seemed brighter, and bigger if that were possible. Brian never witnessed Justin this…happy.

Their relationship had taken a turn – in a positive, life-affirming way – since they had gotten back from New York. Each was more relaxed, more confident about the tomorrows in their lives. Since they met it had been one case, one crisis after another. Always some danger lurking around the corner. Today, however, there was no case awaiting them. No imminent peril needing their attention. It was over. Hobbs was a free man, even got his old teaching job reinstated. Teresa and her daughter had moved out of the rat hole they had found them in and into a better neighborhood near the brokerage firm where Brian had gotten her a job. And Internal Affairs had thrown the book at Harmond, who was facing so many charges that Brian doubted the man would ever see the outside of a prison in his life again. But the best thing that came out of that whole fucked up situation was that Justin had quit his job. Handed in his badge without regret or reservation and walked away without so much as a glance back. Brian followed suit and had started the process of handing off Kinney’s Private Dicks to Ted and Cynthia.

He now had the luxury of unimpeded time to enjoy his blond. Time and the knowledge that his blond – one Justin ‘fucking bad ass’ Taylor – belonged to him.

A fact he believed.

His goal now was to concentrate all his efforts on getting to know his slice of Sunshine more intimately and in more sinfully erotic ways. And, to make matters even better, Justin was just as focused on that goal as well.

“You know Bri, some would say you have an unnatural attachment to your furniture. At the end of the day, it’s just a chair,” Justin teased, taking a sip of his coffee.

Brian put his hand to his chest and glared at Justin in mock indignation.

“Just a chair?!” he sputtered dramatically as Justin laughed. “I’ll have you know Malmo has given me more pleasure than any trick I’ve ever fucked. That’s why I never let any of those losers near her. She’s…special. One of my most prized possessions,” he jested. He couldn’t help himself, Justin’s mood was infectious. They were both giddy this morning. Great, Kinney. You’ve now officially turned into a dyke, he thought.

Justin smiled wickedly at him. “Oh? I thought I was your most prized possession,” he said, placing his cup back on the counter.

Ok, maybe being a dyke isn’t so bad, Brian’s treacherous mind suggested. But then he caught the look in his blonds’ eyes and his dick took over all thoughts. There goes the dyke theory. He walked around the counter and turned the stool around so Justin was planted firmly between his legs. “You are. That’s why I let you talk me into violating a twelve thousand dollar custom made Italian Divan,” he said.

Justin’s mouth dropped open. “Are you fucking serious? You spent twelve thousand dollars on a piece of – ”

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

Justin never got to finish his sentence as a sudden barrage of raps at the loft door interrupted him.

Brian frowned. “A bit early for company,” he commented.

The insistent banging continued.

Justin sighed in disappointment. They hadn’t fucked on the kitchen counter yet and he had been hoping to remedy that situation this morning.

“You better answer that before whomever it is breaks down your door,” he said, jumping off the stool. “I’ll go get dressed. If it’s my mother, tell her if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll go away. She’s cutting into some serious fucking time,” he said jokingly as he headed towards the bedroom.

Jennifer was booked to fly back to New York later that evening. Justin was going to drive her to the airport. She was supposed to be having breakfast with Debbie and Emmett this morning. At least that’s what she had told him yesterday at Gus’s party, which had turned out to be one spectacular affair, though Justin wasn’t surprised. When it came to his son, Brian went all out. He never saw a father who loved their child so much. Was it a wonder he was so in love with the man?

Brian watched his blonds’ sexy ass walk up the bedroom stairs. “Forget getting dressed, just get in bed and wait for me. Mother Tayl – ”

“Tucker,” Justin corrected over his shoulder.

“Whatever, will have to visit her baby boy later,” he called out to him.

Justin turned around and threw him an inviting smile. Brian sucked his breath in and silently cursed whoever was at the door.

“Much later…” he added, thinking it was going to be a long time before he let his blond leave their bed today.

The banging continued.

“I’m fucking coming! And not in any way remotely enjoyable so hold your horses!” Brian turned to go answer the door as Justin disappeared into the bedroom. He slid the metal loft door open and groaned when he saw who was on the other side.

“How dare you!” his mother growled out in way of a greeting.

Brian stood in front of the door, blocking her entrance.

“What do you want, Joan?” he asked in a tone that should have warned her that he was not in the mood for her antics this morning. Of course, Joan never gave a shit about Brian’s mood or anything else about him.

Joan sneered at him. “I want you to stop interfering in my son’s life!” she railed at him in fury, pushing her way into the loft.

Brian bit his bottom lip in an attempt to calm his rage and turned to face her, leaving the loft door open.

“Your son?!” he sneered back at her with just as much venom. “Since when did you give a shit about any of your children?! The only reason you even know about Liam is because I had an uncharacteristic moment of benevolence and told you he was still alive. A decision, I assure you, I deeply regret. And I don’t do regrets!” he yelled at her.

 

Justin pulled on a pair of pants the moment he heard Joan’s voice. His heart raced, not knowing how to deal with the situation. He wanted to run out there to help Brian, to defend him against that woman, but he froze in his tracks when he heard Brian mention another child of Joan’s. One he wasn’t aware of. Who was this other son? A child Joan conceived with another man? Debbie said Brian only had one sibling, a sister. She had never mentioned a brother. Justin could only assume Joan had another son with someone other than Brian’s father from what Brian just said.

“The only reason you even know about Liam is because I had an uncharacteristic moment of benevolence and told you he was still alive.” The words replayed in Justin’s mind. How could Joan not know her own son was alive, yet Brian did?

 

Joan snapped her head back as if Brian had slapped her. “How dare you!”

Brian snorted. “I dare a lot of things. You’ll have to be more specific,” he said, sarcasm dripping with every word.

Joan narrowed her eyes and approached him. “You have no right to ban me from seeing him!”

 

Whoa! Ban? Justin thought. How the fuck was Brian able to ban Joan from seeing her own son? Justin felt like an intruder eavesdropping on a conversation he was sure Brian didn’t want him to hear. Yet, he was stuck here. He supposed he could lock himself in the bathroom, but he was sure he’d still hear them. Hell, he was sure the whole building could hear them. They weren’t exactly having a quiet, civil conversation.

 

Brian laughed and the sound had a sickening sadistic tone to it. “Oh, but I can. I’m Liam’s legal guardian. You’re just the broken down vessel that spawned him,” he said.

 

Oh ouch! Justin thought, shocked at Brian’s cruelty. This was a side of him he’d never seen before.

 

Joan however, was no wilting flower. “You’re only his legal guardian because you forged my signature on papers granting you full custody of my son! Just like your father did years ago…forging my signature so that he could give Liam away to the state, then telling me he was dead! That kind of cruelty I expected from him, but never from you! Well, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” she threw back at him.

 

Justin had to put his hand over his mouth to prevent the gasp that threatened to escape. He couldn’t believe Brian would do such a thing! He felt like he was watching some bad soap opera play out before him.

 

Brian brushed her dramatics away with a wave of his hand. “That’s the one decent thing Jack did. Give Liam away. Do you know why he did it mother” – he spat out the name like it was poison on his tongue, causing Joan to flinch – “because he knew you were too inept to care for him and he didn’t want Social Services at his door again! Liam was born with a shit load of medical problems because of your excessive drinking! And how did you handle it? Did you get him the help he needed? No. You barely acknowledged him! I took care of him! You were too busy hiding in a bottle of whiskey and Claire was too busy hiding from Jack. Liam needed help! He needed special attention, care…none of the things you were willing to give him! And because of your superb mothering skills, he just kept getting worse! I was five years old, changing his diaper because I couldn’t stand the smell anymore! YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAD CHILDREN!” he screamed.

 

Shit, shit, shit! Justin’s heart was breaking at the unmistakable pain he heard in Brian’s voice. He was reliving some awful times from his childhood and there was nothing Justin could do about it. He knew if he rushed out there, Brian would resent him for it. Instinctively, he knew he had to wait until Brian came to him, only then could he comfort him…and only if Brian allowed it.

 

“When he had that seizure it was Jack who took him to the hospital because you were too fucking drunk to notice your son hadn’t moved from the couch in several hours! I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but Jack did the right thing for once in his life. When the doctors explained to him the damage the seizure had caused he knew he couldn’t afford all the treatment Liam would require so he gave him over to the state. He knew you’d never agree to give him up, not because you had any great love for your children, but because it wouldn’t look good to the other parishioners in your church, so he forged your name and came home and told us he died. I’m sure you got lots of sympathy from your church cronies didn’t you? Poor, bereaved Joanie, I bet you enjoyed all that attention,” Brian huffed out a bitter acidic laugh at this point.

Joan stood stoic in the face of Brian’s accusations. She opened her mouth to speak but Brian wouldn’t let her. There was something inside of him, driving him to say what he’d been feeling for so long. It was like a dam was bursting inside of him and Joan would just have to stand there and take it.

“If you had one fucking ounce of kindness in you, you would have given him up for adoption at birth!” he continued on in his rant. “Hell, you would have given us all up! Why the fuck did you have any more children after me?” he asked. His voice sounded almost hysterical, yet strangely enough seriously curious. He really wanted to know.

“You knew how Jack was by then. But you refused to use birth control, or God forbid you should go to Hell and have an abortion! Better to keep spawning out children for Jack to abuse! You stupid, stupid hag! Claire and I dealt with it, but Liam…” Brian’s voice broke at this point. He shook his head and took a deep, steadying breath before he continued.

“Liam didn’t deserve you,” he said in a low, somber voice. Much of the anger was leaving him now only to be replaced with deep sorrow. “I’m glad Jack took him away, and I’m glad he told me what he did on his death bed. And I’m very, very glad I did what I had to do in order to get custody. The only thing that matters to me is that I have my brother back, and that he’s getting the care he needs. The only reason I allowed you to see him is because you show him a kindness now that you refused to show him when he needed it the most. I’m sure it’s your guilt eating at you, or maybe your desire to earn brownie points for Heaven now that you’re getting closer to death, but for whatever reason, your weekly visits have been good for Liam, and that’s the only reason I’ve allowed you to keep visiting him. However, this last stunt you pulled was the last straw. I had no choice but to pull your visitation privileges,” he concluded, before walking over to the couch and flopping down on it.

 

Justin could see him through the slit in the blinds in the bedroom. He looked exhausted, like he just ran a marathon, which Justin was sure he just did. An epic run through some deep emotional shit. He mentally cringed at the thought that, at one time, he had thought it a good idea for Brian to confront his mother about his childhood. He even talked his mother into broaching the topic with him. Now, he questioned the soundness of that idea. Who the fuck would want to confront a past like that? Surely, living through that Hell once was bad enough without being forced to relive it all over again. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what was happening now.

 

Joan, to her credit, or her detriment – Justin couldn’t tell which – didn’t refute any of Brian’s accusations. She walked over to where Brian sat and faced him.

“I’ll not apologize for who I am,” she said.

Brian leaned over and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just get the fuck out,” he said. His voice sounded very weary.

Joan squared her shoulders. She was determined to have her say as well. “I’ve not done many things I’m proud of in my life. Your father was a hard man, you know this. And I was a weak woman. I make no excuses for the lousy childhood you children had. I’ll not stand here and insult you by saying I ever loved you or your siblings. I didn’t.”

 

Again Justin had to put his hand over his mouth to stop the gasp from escaping his lips. What kind of mother admits such a thing? Even if it’s true? he wondered. Joan was a monster.

 

Brian, to his credit, didn’t flinch.

“I never had a chance to learn about love. Even before I married your father I wasn’t…well. My own father was abusive in ways only the good Lord knows about. I’m not excusing my behavior, just stating a fact. I was already pregnant when my father forced me to marry Jack….the child wasn’t Jack’s.” She dropped that bomb in a voice so quiet Brian didn’t think he heard her correctly at first.

 

Justin slid down to the floor in shock. He wasn’t expecting that, and he was damned sure Brian wasn’t. He wondered how he would react to it. ‘Jesus Christ, this is worse than a soap opera! It’s like some Greek tragedy!’ he thought dejectedly.

 

Brian’s head snapped up at her confession. “What the fuck are you saying?” he asked, though he knew exactly what his mother was saying. Her father had sexually abused her and had gotten her pregnant. He felt like throwing up. Is my whole family lineage tainted with evil? Brian thought.

“I’m saying we all have our crosses to bear. I was forced to have that child even though everyone knew. Thankfully, it was a stillborn. God was merciful that time. Birth control and abortion were out of the question. And yes, scorn me if you must, but I’ll not prevent one of God’s children from entering this world. By His will we suffer or prosper. My mother didn’t abort me…I never said she shouldn’t have had me, I accepted my fate. As you and Claire had to accept yours. But” – she paused for a moment to compose herself. For a woman with no capacity for emotions, she was displaying some pretty deep ones right now – “Liam…you’re right. That wasn’t God’s will. That was my doing. I…he was born the way he was because I drank too much. That’s my sin. You’re right. I avoided him. God forgive me, but I couldn’t bear to see what I did to him. The guilt was too much. I started drinking more heavily than I ever did. I wasn’t stupid; I knew you were caring for him. And I was grateful. When he had that seizure and Jack told me he died at the hospital, I thanked God. I found comfort in knowing your brother was in Heaven, away from the evil in our house. Judge me, hate me, whatever makes it right for you. I’m only speaking the truth. But hear this, when you told me my son was still alive, I knew God was giving me a second chance. You know I’ve been good to my son since you brought him back into my life. All these years and I’ve never missed a weekly visit. He looks forward to seeing me. You admitted it yourself, I’m good for him. So why are you so determined to take him away from me now?” she asked.

 

Justin could almost feel pity for the woman. Almost. But whether or not she deserved a second chance was up to Brian in his opinion, not up to what she believed God would want.

Jesus Christ, Brian has a brother no one knows about! It suddenly hit him.

This was the mother of all bombshells! And it explained so much about Brian’s feelings towards family, love, and especially his own son. He loved Gus more than life itself. His son came first in his life and was denied nothing. He even made sure he had two good parents he trusted to raise him. As if he didn’t trust himself to be the only parent in the boy’s life. ‘Maybe’, Justin thought, ‘because somewhere deep inside he feared he’d fail as a parent, just as his parents did.’ Justin didn’t know how to process all of this. He didn’t know how Brian had been able to keep this all inside for so long. He had a brother, a mentally challenged brother, that nobody had a clue even existed. No one except Joan, apparently. ‘Why’, he wondered. There were so many questions swirling around in Justin’s head it was making him dizzy.

 

Brian stood up from the couch. “Because you crossed the line! You tried to take him from the institution! Are you nuts? You can’t care for him at home! You don’t have the means, or the skills, to give Liam the medical, no less emotional, care he needs. What the fuck were you thinking?” he asked as his anger reignited.

 

So Brian’s brother is in an institu….Brentwood! It all started to make sense now. That’s where Brian was when Michael freaked out because Joan found out about his son. Another secret he kept. He must have been visiting his brother. Justin didn’t have time to go find Brian that day; he had taken off instead to find Hobbs. But Ted had told him that Brian paid money to Brentwood every month. A maintenance fee for his brother’s care, no doubt.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Justin was too busy with his own fucked up situation to even notice what was going on with Brian. He had never bothered to ask Brian why he was paying money to the institution. In truth, he didn’t think it was a big deal. Brian had many investments, as he learned in New York when he offered Hobbs’s sister, Teresa, a job at a brokerage firm he was involved with. That, too, was a surprise to him. But Brian was a very rich man. Justin knew the agency couldn’t have been responsible for his considerable wealth. He had no reason to ask Brian about his investments. For all he knew, the money he was giving Brentwood every month was just another one of Brian’s investments. Now, however, Justin started thinking about the past few months they’d been together, and the pieces started to fall into place. There were many times when Brian would disappear for hours on some “business” matter. Even yesterday, at the party, Brian had snuck out for an hour with some cake, telling Lindsey he had to make a quick run to the bank to withdraw some cash because he promised Ernie, the owner of the Children’s Emporium where Gus’s party was held, that he’d pay him in cash. The cake was for Ethel, the bank teller. No one questioned it. Brian always took care of the people who serviced him like Tina, the Barista girl, and Ethel, the bank teller at his bank. Thinking back on it now, Brian would not have forgotten to bring the cash to pay Ernie. He was more meticulous with business issues than anyone Justin knew. He would bet that was just a ruse so he could run up and give his brother some cake. The Emporium was only minutes from Brentwood. ‘Some fucking detective you are Taylor,’ he thought.

 

“You’re wrong,” Joan said, breaking into Justin’s musings.

Brian raised a brow at her. “And you’re insane,” he said.

Joan was persistent. “I’ve been dry for over two years now. I am quite capable of taking care of my son. He’s been living in that institution – ”

“An institution I pay for,” Brian interrupted.

Joan nodded her head, accepting the truth of that statement then continued. “Yes, the institution you pay for, for far too long now. Or is it your intention to have him die there?” she challenged.

Brian’s face grew red. “Liam is there because it’s best for him! But you don’t get that do you? If you did, you’d know that if you really care for someone, you do what’s best for them! Liam knows he can leave whenever he wants, but he chooses not to,” he tried to explain to Joan.

Joan shook her head. “I don’t believe that. I think you and the doctors there have brainwashed him to believe he can’t leave. He’s better now. His verbal skills have improved greatly and physically he’s strong. There is no reason why you shouldn’t let him come home with me,” she argued.

Brian huffed out a bitter laugh. “The fact that you’re a cold-hearted bitch that I wouldn’t wish on a rabid dog, no less my own brother, is all the reason you need,” he spat out sarcastically.

Joan brushed off the insult. “How would you feel if someone denied you your right to be with your son?” she asked, switching tactics.

 

Justin held his breath as he waited for Brian’s response. Knowingly or not, Joan just stepped into dangerous territory.

 

“My son is none of your business,” Brian said. There was an unmistakable edge to his voice that Joan heeded.

She nodded her head in agreement. “True. He’s not. But Liam is. Liam is my son. And if you refuse to let me take him home, than I’ll have no choice but to fight you in court for custody,” she said.

Brian laughed in her face. “Go ahead. No judge in their right mind will let you have custody with your history. You’re a child abuser mom. It’s on record, or have you forgotten all of the visits from Social Services over the years? And let’s not forget your drinking or the fact that you signed your son over to the state years ago when he was just seven.”

“I did not! Your father forged my signature!” she yelled, clearly frustrated at this point.

Brian shrugged. “So says the drunk,” he replied cruelly.

Joan clutched her purse to her. “So says the deviant homosexual!” she spat back at him.

 

Justin groaned, then pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them tightly. His heart burned with pain for Brian. He knew exactly how that felt…to have your parent despise you for who you are, and to voice that hatred. His own father had done it to him. Though considering how abusive Brian’s mother had been to him over the years, even admitting she didn’t love him, he supposed nothing she said anymore would come as a surprise to Brian. Or hurt him anymore than he’s already been hurt. Justin felt sick to his stomach.

 

“Wow, Joan, that’s the first time you admitted to having a gay son. Nice touch by the way – the deviant part I mean. Lots of homophobes out there, I’m sure you can find a judge who shares your aversion to deviant fags. But then again, I’m not the one trying to pull Liam out of a top notch rehabilitation facility for their own selfish, perverted reasons – you are. I’m just the deviant fag who’s been paying for his medical bills, physical therapy, and round the clock care all these years. Oh, and I’m also the deviant fag who’s been paying for the mortgage on your house since Jack died. Now, if a judge is insane enough to grant you custody against all reason, then all those expenses will fall in your lap. Sure you can handle that Joanie?” Brian sneered at her.

Joan gave him a smile that chilled him to the bone. “No, I won’t be able to handle the finances. But we both know you’re bluffing. You’d never let Liam suffer. Just know, if I win, and you cut me off, you’ll also be cutting your brother off. Oh, I won’t mind. There’s always disability and welfare. We’ll manage just fine,” she said, smirking knowingly at him.

 

What a goddamned bitch! Justin thought. He couldn’t believe how manipulative Joan was! She was using Brian’s affection for his brother against him to get her way! Justin was itching to slap the smirk off her face.

 

The vein in Brian’s neck throbbed. “Get the fuck out. Now,” he said in a deadly, calm voice.

Joan, who was still clutching her purse to her chest, backed up from him, finally sensing real danger. She turned towards the door, which was still open. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer,” she said over her shoulder as she rushed out of the loft.

Brian followed her and slammed the door shut behind her.

“Fucking cunt!” he screamed out into the empty loft.

 

Justin stood up from his position on the bedroom floor and watched as Brian walked back into the living room, grab the edge of the coffee table, and flip it over. The ashtray, some magazines, and an empty bottle of beer crashed loudly to the floor.

Justin cautiously crept out of the bedroom.

“Fucking spawn of the Devil!” Brian screeched out to no one in particular before he headed for the Divan.

No! Not Malmo, Justin’s mind screamed. He rushed into the room and picked up the brown leather ottoman. Then, without thought, he threw it into the TV. Glass shattered and sparks flew.

Brian stopped mid-stride and turned towards the damage Justin caused. He looked back and forth from his blond, to the TV.

“You just destroyed my eight thousand dollar liquid screen, high definition TV!” he shouted, shock written all over his face.

Justin was breathing heavy. “Yeah, I did,” he panted. “That’s good right? I mean better the TV then Malmo. I figured she’s suffered enough. Damn TV never did get good reception anyway,” he added.

Brian blinked a few times, and then dropped his face into his hands. His body started shaking.

Justin didn’t know if he was crying or laughing. He slowly crossed the room to him and was relieved when he heard the rumbling sounds of laughter coming out from behind Brian’s hands. He put his hand on his shoulder.

“Bri?”

Brian stopped laughing and wiped his face before removing his hands to look at Justin. He’d forgotten he was in the bedroom. ‘Fuck! He heard everything’, he realized. ‘Just fucking perfect’. He didn’t know what to say to Justin. In truth, he couldn’t think past his brother right now. His whole fucking world was being ripped opened and Liam was going to suffer because of him. He should have never told his mother Liam was alive. He never regretted anything more in his life at the moment. Now, he had to deal with the consequences. At all costs, he had to protect Liam.

Justin saw, and responded, to the anguish in his eyes.

“Brian, tell me what to do. Whatever it is you need from me, just tell me. You know I’ll do it. If you want me to destroy that woman, I will. In a heartbeat. If you want me to forget the last twenty minutes ever happened, then it’s done. No questions. Whatever you need for me to do, I’ll do it, just tell me,” Justin said, his tone pleading…almost desperate.

Brian’s face softened and his eyes grew glassy. He pulled Justin to him.

“I need….I need to get drunk,” he breathed into Justin’s hair.

Justin pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. “I can do that too,” he said, then turned and dragged Brian over to the bar in the far corner of the loft. He poured them both tall glasses of Beam. Brian took his and drank it down in one shot. Justin did the same. They both stood there, just staring at each other. Justin filled the silence by refilling their glasses. After their third shot, Brian spoke.

“So, when do you have to take Mother Taylo – ”

“Tucker,” Justin corrected with a smile. It had become a game with them.

‘So, he’s going to act like this never happened. Fine. I can do that for him’, he thought.

Brian smiled back at him. “Whatever,” he said, “when do you have take her to the airport?”

Justin looked at the clock on the wall and answered, “Not for another few hours.”

Brian nodded his head and held out his glass. Justin refilled it.

“I think we need a cab,” he said, downing his fourth shot of beam.

Justin agreed. “Wise move,” he said. They were probably going to be shit faced by the time they had to pick up his mother.

Brian slammed the glass down on the bar and pulled out his cell.

Justin narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Um, Bri…who’re you calling?”

Brian scrolled down until he found the number he was looking for. He then glanced back up at Justin.

“Didn’t I just say we were going to need a cab?” he answered, rolling his eyes as if Justin just asked a stupid question.

Justin shook his head as he tried to follow Brian’s line of thought. “But we don’t have to leave for at least another two hours.”

“I know. That gives us time to make a stop first,” he said.

Justin tilted his head and stared at him. “Okay…where are we going?” he asked hesitantly.

Brian put the cell to his ear and said, “To see my brother.”

Justin poured himself another drink.


	22. Chapter 22

“Brian! What are you doing here?!” Lindsay blurted out, startled to see Brian at her door on a Sunday.

Brian leaned against the doorframe and raised a brow at her. “Since when do I need a reason to be here?” he asked sharply.

Justin stood behind him and frowned. He knew Brian was anxious about this visit, and that anxiety was making him testy.

Lindsay stuttered a bit. “Um…well…of course you don’t need a reason to visit! I just wasn’t expecting you. You usually don’t come by on Sundays unless Gus has a game,” she said in way of an excuse.

Brian straightened up from the door frame and said, “Life is full of unexpected events Lins. Get use to it. Now are you going to let me in or do I have to make a fucking appointment?” he snapped, though he silently acknowledged she was in her right to be surprised to see him. He usually spent Sundays with his brother if work permitted it. Unfortunately, for the past several weeks work had kept him from seeing Liam as often as he liked. He was lucky he got to sneak away from Gus’s birthday party for a few minutes yesterday to run some cake up to him.

Lindsay’s brow furrowed in concern. She’d seen this Brian before. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

“Of course, come in,” she said as she opened the door wider. “Hi, Justin! Didn’t see you standing there! Come on in. Gus will be thrilled to see you,” she greeted, motioning him to come inside. “You know I think your present’s his favorite birthday gift! He’s been playing with it in his room all morning. Making a mess of course,” she said teasingly, before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. Something she avoided doing to Brian, sensing his dour mood.

Justin returned the greeting and the kiss. “I’m so glad he likes it, but I’m sorry you and Mel have to deal with the mess,” Justin said apologetically.

Lindsay waved her hand in dismissal. “Nonsense. What’s some splattered paint compared to a little boy’s happiness?” she responded. Justin had gotten Gus an easel set complete with paper and paint and brushes.

“Where’s Mel?” Brian asked, breaking into their conversation.

Lindsay turned from Justin to answer him. “She’s having brunch with her boss today.”

Brian huffed out a disapproving sound. “Brunch with the boss means one of two things – she’s either getting fired or promoted. With her it’s hard to tell. She’s got the personality of a shrew, yet she’s smart and decisively ruthless. Both marketable qualities in a lawyer,” he mused out loud.

Lindsay looked over to Justin with questioning eyes over the strange way Brian was acting. Justin merely shrugged his shoulders, so she looked back over at Brian.

“Why don’t you two go sit in the living room? I’ll go get some lemonade and call Gus down,” she offered.

“No, I need to talk to you alone first,” Brian said.

“Lindsay, do you mind if I go up and see Gus? I’d love to see what he’s creating. Your son is really very talented,” Justin said. It was true, Gus was artistically gifted. He would love to give the boy a few tips on how to mix colors and such, but he also wanted to give Brian time to talk to Lindsay alone. He knew this was going to be hard on him.

When Brian told Justin they were going to see his brother, he also informed him that he had to bring Gus along with them. It was important to Brian that Gus be the first person he introduced to his brother. Brian told Justin that he knew the day would come when he’d have to introduce Liam to his family; he just had hoped that day would be later, rather than sooner. But circumstances as they were left him no option.

“Well, I think so too, but I’m biased,” Lindsay boasted proudly as only a mother could. “Go right up, Gus will be so excited to get a ‘real’ artist’s opinion,” she said.

Justin smiled shyly, a bit embarrassed by the compliment. “You’re right. You are biased,” he said, then turned and headed up towards Gus’s room.

Once alone, Brian dragged Lindsay over to the couch.

“Brian, what’s up? You’re scaring me. Are you ok?” Lindsay asked, seating herself next to him on the couch.

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “I’m fine, but there’s something I need to tell you….”

***

Justin turned Gus’s iPod, which sat on the docking station, up as Lindsay’s and Brian’s voices drifted upstairs. To Justin’s ears it sounded like Lindsay wasn’t taking the news that Brian had hidden the fact that he had a brother from her all these years. He could understand why. Lindsay was the mother of his child; she had a right to know something that personal. Still, Justin was sure she’d come around and forgive him. She was in love with him after all. He didn’t have to be a detective to figure that one out.

“I like mauve,” Gus said, as he added a little bit more of the blue into the pink creating the color “mauve” as Justin had described it while teaching Gus how to mix colors to come up with different shades.

Justin smiled at him. “Me too. It’s such a dignified color.”

Gus scrunched up his tiny face and looked up at Justin. “What’s digneefyed?” he asked in an adorable voice.

Justin pulled the boy to him and gave him a hug, regardless of his tiny smock that was covered in water paints. “You are just too cute!” he said.

Gus squirmed in his arms and giggled. “Jus!!! I’m not cute! Puppies are cute! I’m hot like my Dad!”

Justin nearly choked on his laugh. “Did your Dad tell you that?” he asked.

“No, I heard Mommy tell her friend that Daddy is hot and Ima says I look just like my Dad!” Gus announced proudly.

“Ah,” Justin said, “well that’s true enough. You do look just like your Dad. But ‘hot’ is a grown up word. I think for someone your age, the word handsome fits better. It’s more…dignified! Meaning that you are very good looking, yet you don’t brag about it,” Justin tried to explain.

“Daddy says it’s bad to brag,” Gus said.

Justin nodded his head. “Yes it is. And that’s what being dignified means. It means acting in a proper way. Not bragging about your special gifts or talents. It also means you don’t point out someone else’s flaws. To boast too proudly or to criticize others would not be dignified,” he added.

Gus’s little face took on a worried expression. “So when Mommy brags that Daddy is hot, does that mean she’s not bein’ digneefyed?” he asked

‘Jesus this kid’s sharp as a tack. Just like his father,’ Justin thought.

“Your Mom loves your Dad very much. He gave her you after all,” Justin said, smiling at Gus. “She was giving your Dad a grown up compliment, which she could do. She wasn’t bragging about herself. Your mother is one of the most dignified people I know,” Justin tried to explain. The kid was way too smart. His head was swimming trying to keep up with his questions.

Gus nodded his head in a manner that indicated that he not only understood, but accepted Justin’s explanation. It was such a mature move it made Justin smile. The boy was truly adorable. For the first time, he seriously contemplated what it would be like to have a child of his own.

‘As if that’s ever going to happen,’ the stinging thought forced its way into Justin’s mind. He shook his musings away, stood up, and started cleaning up the paints.

“Jus?”

“Yes Gus?” he answered as he brought the brushes to the adjourning bathroom sink to rinse out.

Gus followed him. “How is mauve digneefyed?” he asked.

Justin laughed. ‘Go ahead and explain that one, Smartass,’ he thought.

“Well, it’s not as ‘bold’ or ‘boastful’ as the color red. It’s subtle. It’s beautiful without being loud, so to speak,” he said knowing Gus wasn’t going to fully grasp the artistic concept. He walked out of the bathroom and put the brushes away. Again, Gus followed him.

“Jus, what’s suttul?”

Justin groaned. Just then the door opened and Brian popped his head in.

“Is it safe to come in?” he asked as he surveyed the room. It wasn’t so bad. There was an easel sitting on a mat. Most of the mess was contained to the canvas, and the surrounding area.

“Daddy!” Gus shouted out the joyful greeting as he started running to him, but Justin held him back and removed the paint-splattered smock first. Once freed of the messy garment, Gus jumped into his father’s arms and wrapped his arms around his neck tight.

“Oh Daddy, I had the bestest birthday party ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he chanted over and over again as he rained kisses on his father’s face.

Brian laughed with complete uninhibited joy. Justin felt a pang of some emotion he couldn’t identify. It was the most touching display of pure emotion and Brian never looked more beautiful to him…

“I’m going to assume you had a good time then,” he said playfully.

Gus pulled back from him and waved his arm across the room, “Oh, YES! I got so many gifts! But I like Jus’s best!” he said, before his face grew immediately serious. “But don’t tell Mommy or Ima!” he warned, putting his finger to his lips, gesturing a need for silence.

Brian threw his head back and laughed. “Don’t worry Sonny Boy, your secret is safe with me,” he said.

Gus smiled again.

“So, are you up for one more surprise?” Brian asked his son.

Gus beamed. “Another suprize! Oh Daddy, I got lots already!” he said, though the excitement over the prospect of receiving another gift was evident in his eyes.

“This surprise isn’t a ‘thing’ Gus, it’s a person,” Brian told him as he lowered him to the ground. He took his little hand in his own and led him over to the bed which he sat down on, pulling his son up onto his lap.

“I’ll just wait downstairs for you,” Justin said.

“No, stay,” Brian said.

Justin looked doubtful. “Where’s Lins?” he asked.

“Mel came home early. Apparently, she’s been made partner at her firm. I told them I was taking Gus for the day so they can go celebrate. Lindsay will fill her in,” he said.

Justin frowned. “How did she take the news?” he asked.

Brian sighed. “Pretty good, considering. I explained as much as I could before Mel came home with her good news. We’ll talk again later tonight. She just needs time to adjust to this new development in our lives. This came as an unexpected surprise to her,” he said.

“You gave Mommy a suprize too!?” Gus asked.

Brian smiled at him. “Yes, I did. The same surprise I’m going to give you. I’m taking you and Justin to meet someone very special to me…and to you,” he said.

Gus’s reaction wasn’t what Brian expected. He looked like someone just told him he had to eat broccoli for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the rest of his life. Gus hated broccoli. His bottom lip started to quiver.

“Is it that lady Uncle Mikey talked to at the Big Q?” he asked in a very distressed voice.

Brian mentally cursed Joan, not for the first time. He knew all about his mother’s unexpected run in with his son, he just didn’t realize what a negative effect that encounter had on Gus. Mikey had assured him she had had little contact with Gus, but he should have known Gus would have picked up on her nature right away. His son had an uncanny ability to sum up a person’s character within a few minutes of meeting them. Joan was a cold, mean spirited, conniving bitch and Gus had the unpleasant experience of sensing that right off.

“Good God, no! That woman is awful, and not someone I’d ever want in our lives. I promise you’ll never be bothered by her again,” he vowed.

Gus looked up at him, some of the concern and sadness washed away from his face now. “Good. I didn’t like her, Daddy. She lied! She said she had the same last name as we do!” he said.

‘Oops, this is going to be hard to explain,’ Brian thought.

“Um, well, that is true Gus. She does have the same last name as us. She’s my mother,” he said bluntly. It was best to just rip that band-aid off as quickly as possible. No use in prolonging the pain, even though he hated having to tell Gus these things at such a young age. Yet another reason to despise Joan. But, he had never lied to his son and wouldn’t start now.

Gus looked at his father in horror. “Oh Daddy, I’m sorry! I didin’ mean to call your mommy a liar!” he said.

“Shh…stop now. The woman is a liar, and a very bad person. She was not a good mommy, Gus. Grandma Deb is the only woman I ever considered my mother. You see Gus, not all mothers are good. You are very lucky to have your mother and Ima. They both love you very much,” he said.

Gus’s eyes filled with tears. “Your mommy didin’ love you?” he asked.

Justin’s heart broke as he watched the exchange between father and son from his place by the bathroom door. And he knew from the look on Brian’s face, his heart was breaking as well.

“No, Sonny Boy, she didn’t. But don’t feel bad. Your Grandma Deb loved me very much. I’m very lucky to have her,” he said.

Gus’s face brightened a bit at that. “I love Grandma Deb! She’s the bestest grandma in the world!” he proclaimed.

Brian ruffled his hair, “I have to agree,” he said.

“I’m sorry your mommy didin’ love you Daddy, but don’ worry, I love you this much!” he said, spreading his little arms as wide as they would go. “Lots more than any mommy could love you!” he stated fervently.

Brian hugged him tight. “I know you do Sonny Boy, I know you do…”

Gus hugged him back, then pulled away. “So who is my suprize, Daddy?” he asked eagerly.

“Well, that’s the good news. You see, though my mother didn’t love me, I have a brother and he loves me very much,” Brian said.

Gus’s eyes widened in surprise. “You have a brother, Daddy?!” he asked in an awe-filled voice.

“Yes, I do Gus. He’s your uncle. His name is Liam. You haven’t met him yet because he’s been sick and living in a special place that’s helping him to get better,” Brian tried to explain.

Gus once again donned that worried face. “Is he better now?” he asked.

“Yes, he is Gus. But he still talks funny. He has a stutter. Do you know what a stutter is?” Brian asked.

Gus nodded his head excitedly. “Yes, Peter Jenkins has a stutter! He goes to speech class every day,” he said.

“Lots of kids have stutters. Some adults have them too, like my brother Liam. He goes to big people classes for his stutter and is getting better. However, I don’t want you to be frightened by it. Liam also has some trouble moving sometimes,” Brian informed his son. He wanted to prepare him for his first encounter with Liam. He had no doubt that, in time, Gus would grow used to Liam’s ways; he just didn’t want him frightened at first.

“Why can’t he move good, Daddy?” Gus asked.

“Well,” Brian corrected.

Gus raised a brow and Justin had to put his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. The boy was sooo much like Brian!

“Well what?” he asked.

Brian rolled his eyes. “It’s why can’t he move so well, not good. Grammar, Gus,” he said.

Gus mimicked Brian’s eye roll. “Ok, ‘well.’ Why don’ he move so well?” he repeated.

Brian smiled at his son’s antics. “Liam doesn’t move so well because he was born with some minor damage to his brain. The brain tells us how to speak, how to move, how to think. The brain tells us all that and more,” he said.

Gus perked up. “Oh I know, Daddy! We’re learnin’ ‘bout the brain in school!” he said.

“Already? That’s one smart school you go to,” Brian said.

Gus beamed proudly. “You cannot live without a brain, Daddy – didja know that?” he said, regaling his father with his newly obtained knowledge.

Brian gave his son an impressed look. “Yes, I did know that. But fortunately for Liam, he still has his brain, and most of it works just fine. But some parts are broken. The doctors at the place he lives at is helping him fix those broken parts,” he told his son.

“How broken is Liam, Daddy?” Gus asked innocently.

Brian grimaced. Liam wasn’t “broken;” he was born with certain disabilities that he was learning to overcome. Though explaining that to a six year old was harder than he thought. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have used the word broken….” he started to say.

“Is not digneefyed!” Gus piped up, again trying to impress his father with his knowledge.

“Very good, Gus! You used the word correctly!” Justin couldn’t help but blurt out.

Brian looked over at him, an eyebrow raised, mimicking Gus’s look from a few moments ago.

Justin blushed. “I was trying to explain to Gus what the word dignified meant,” he explained.

Gus perked up. “Yeah Daddy, it means bein’ good but not braggin’ ‘bout it. Digneefyed also means you are not sposed to talk bad about what’s wrong with other people. Justin says Mommy and mauve are digneefyed!” he said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it as he studied his boy. He was amazed at his son’s keen understanding of things that were beyond his tender years. He couldn’t help the fatherly pride that welled up inside of him.

“Mommy and mauve huh?” he repeated, looking over at Justin with a wry smile.

Justin smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. “Your son is very inquisitive,” he said in lieu of an explanation.

Brian looked back down at his son and smiled. “Justin’s right. Mommy is very dignified, and I’m sure mauve is as well, though I’ll have to defer to you and Justin on that one since you’re both the artists in the family,” he said.

Justin turned three shades of red over being referred to as family by Brian. It both humbled and elated him. Gus beamed at the compliment of being called an artist.

“And you’re right about me calling Liam broken,” Brian continued talking to his son, “it wasn’t a dignified way to describe my brother’s condition. Yes, he has some brain injuries that affect his speech and movements, but he’s the most intelligent, loving person and I know you’re going to love him and he’s going to simply adore you. Actually, he already does,” Brian said.

Gus’s eyes widened at that announcement. “He does?! But how, Daddy!? He don’ know me yet.”

Brian shifted Gus on his lap so he was facing him. “He knows all about you Sonny Boy. Since you were born I’ve been giving him pictures of you. He has them pinned up to the walls in his room. There are so many I can’t count! He always wanted to meet you, but he didn’t want to frighten you because of his special ways. But you’re a big boy now, and I know you won’t be scared now that I’ve explained to you about his stutter and physical limitations will you Sonny Boy?”

“Oh no, Daddy! I won’ be sceered! I wanna meet Uncle Liam!” Gus exclaimed, bouncing up and down on his father’s lap.

Brian laughed. “Ok then! We can go now. I’ve already arranged it with your mother,” he said, removing his son from his lap and standing up.

“Daddy?” Gus looked up at him.

“Yes, Sonny Boy?”

“Do you have a Daddy?” he asked.

Justin closed his eyes briefly. He couldn’t imagine how difficult this was for Brian.

“I had a father. But he died,” Brian answered in a soft, controlled voice.

Gus frowned and tears welled in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed his father’s hand. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” he said in a voice way too wise for his age.

Brian squeezed his hand and smiled down at his son. “Thank you,” he simply said. There was no use in telling his son he didn’t need to be sorry, especially since his father had never loved him either.

Gus smiled sadly back up at him. “Daddy?” he once again probed.

“Yes?”

“Do you have any other brothers or sisters?” he asked.

Brian mentally chastised himself. He should have expected all of these questions. “Yes, I do Gus. I have a sister. Her name is Claire, but we haven’t talked in a long time,” he said.

Gus furrowed his brow. “Will I meet her too?” he asked.

“Maybe one day, but not today. Today you get to meet your uncle Liam!” Brian said cheerfully.

Gus picked up on his father’s good mood and smiled. “Oh Daddy, I can’ wait! Another uncle! I must be the luckiest boy in the whole wide world!” Gus declared gleefully.

Brian swooped him up into his arms. “And I’m the luckiest dad in the whole wide world to have you as my son!” he said, swinging his boy around.

Justin watched father and son laugh and twirl with a full heart. Never had he seen Brian so … free. Finally, Brian was going to have his whole family together and Justin was grateful and delighted beyond belief to be part of that family. He only hoped Joan wouldn’t succeed in her goal to tear them apart…

 

PART 2

 

“Hey you, stop cheating,” Brian said, coming up behind Liam in the solarium. He was playing cards with one of the nurses.

Liam turned around with a big smile to greet his brother. “B-b-brian!”

Brian squeezed his brother’s shoulder affectionately and looked over at the nurse. “You’re looking particularly fetching today, Anne,” he said.

Anne rolled her eyes as she rose from her chair. “Uh huh, flattery will get you nowhere. I’m still mad at you for not bringing me a piece of that delicious birthday cake yesterday!” she playfully scolded.

Brian put his hand to his chest. “If I had known you were covering for Isabelle, I swear I would have brought extra cake,” he said. Isabelle, who usually worked the weekends, was diabetic.

“Which is the only reason why I forgive you,” she teased, before offering him her seat. “Here, you take over. I’m tired of losing. He’s too good at this,” she said, smiling at Liam.

Brian walked around the table and took the seat she offered. “He’s too good at cheating,” he stated.

Liam looked affronted. “I-I d-d-don’t ch-cheat!” he said.

Anna graced him with a doubtful look, followed up with a wink before she turned to leave.

Brian laughed as he sat opposite his brother. “I promise to bring you lemon bars from the diner next time I come,” he called out to Anna’s retreating form.

Anna stopped and turned around. “Why, Mr. Kinney, I do believe I just might forgive you anything for some of those delicious bars. I’m on the day shift all week,” she informed him as she turned to leave.

“Brian shook his head and chuckled. “Watch out for that one Liam, she’s shrewd,” he said, picking up the cards.

“A-and p-p-pretty,” Liam added.

Brian raised his brow at him. “Looks like someone has a crush,” he said as he started shuffling.

Liam gave Brian a smirk that was pure Kinney in nature. “M-maybe,” he said.

Brian pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and started dealing. Liam picked up his cards, Brian noticed he was holding the cards much better these days. His hands weren’t cramping so much and his dexterity had improved greatly.

“So…” Brian said as he arranged his cards.

Liam put his cards face down and reached over and grabbed Brian’s wrist. “Wha-what?” he asked.

Brian put his cards down. “I never could hide anything from you, could I?” he said.

Liam shook his head. “N-n-no. Is it M-m-mom?” he asked.

Brian frowned. “Yes,” he answered.

Liam let go of his wrist and sat back. He started rocking back and forth in his chair – a habit he had when he was nervous.

“Liam, are you upset I stopped Joan from coming to see you?” he asked.

Liam kept rocking. “I-I m-m-miss her,” he said.

Brian’s heart broke. He stood up and walked around the table, pulling out a chair next to Liam so he could sit down. “Liam, look at me,” he said, turning his brother around to face him.

Liam lifted his eyes to Brian but kept rocking.

“I know you miss her, but I had to stop her from coming. She wants to take you home with her,” he said. “Is that what you want?”

Liam shook his head violently. “N-n-n-no!!”

Brian reached out and grabbed his hands. “It’s ok, Liam. I won’t let her take you away. I told you before, only you say where you want to be. If you want to be here, then I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen.”

Liam looked away from him, but Brian gently tugged on his hands, forcing him to look back at him. “Liam, listen to me. We need to prepare for what’s to come. Joan’s going to petition the court to gain custody of you,” he said, getting right to the point. He never lied to Liam or misled him. The situation was serious and Liam had to understand that.

“No!” Liam shouted and Brian was astonished at how clearly he spoke the word.

“I- I d-d-decide!” he stated firmly.

Brian nodded his head. “Yes, you decide. Right now, as you know, I have guardianship over your care. Joan wants the courts to place you in her care. The judge will ask you many questions, and one of them is going to be who you want to handle your affairs,” Brian said.

Liam shook his head violently again. “N-nooo!”

“Liam! I know this is difficult for you, but you have to be prepared to choose if it comes down to it. I’m going to try to settle this out of court, but if I can’t, the judge is going to determine who’s best suited to care for you,” Brian tried to explain.

Liam kept shaking his head no. “I d-decide!” he repeated.

Brian narrowed his eyes, confused by Liam’s reaction. “Yes, that’s what I am saying. You might have to decide between Joan and I…”

“NO!” Once again Liam shouted his objection forcefully and clearly.

Brian released Liam’s hands and leaned back in his chair. “What are you saying?” he asked.

Liam looked him straight in the eye. “I-I d-d-decide. N-not y-you. N-n-not M-mom. N-no j-j-judge! I d-d-decide!”

It took Brian all of ten seconds to understand exactly what Liam was saying. A huge smile spread across his face. “Why, you son of a bitch. You’re going to petition the court for emancipation, aren’t you?” he asked.

Liam stopped rocking and reached out for Brian’s hand. “Are y-you m-m-mad?” he asked.

Brian pulled Liam in and gave him a big hug. “Mad! Fuck, Liam, I couldn’t be happier or prouder!” he said, squeezing him tight. Tears stung the back of his eyes.

His brother was asking for the legal rights to decide his own future. It was more than Brian could have ever hoped for. There was a time not too long ago when Liam couldn’t speak or feed himself, and now, today, he was whole and well enough to demand his independence. The enormity of this milestone in his brother’s life filled Brian with such joy he thought he’d burst.

Liam pulled back from him. “B-b-brian?”

“What is it, Liam?”

“I n-need a la-la-lawyer.”

Brian threw his head back and laughed. “Of course you do! And I have the perfect man in mind,” he said.

Liam smiled brightly. “Wh-when c-c-can I-I m-m-meet him?”

“Soon, I promise. But first, I want you to meet someone else. Two people actually. I brought them with me today. They’re down in the cafeteria getting some lunch. I wanted to speak with you first,” he said.

Liam tilted his head to the side and studied Brian with a puzzled look on his face. Brian never brought anyone to meet him. Not because he was ashamed of him, Liam knew better, but because he knew he wasn’t ready. But if he were going to ask the courts to grant him his rights back, then he’d have to prove that he was ready, and capable.

“I know this is sudden, but with Joan taking us to court, I couldn’t keep them from you any longer. Everyone is going to find out, and then they’re going to want to meet you. I figured I’d bring them over, a few at a time, so not to overwhelm you,” Brian rushed to explain. When Liam didn’t respond, he pushed forward. “If this is too much, too soon, we’ll do it another day. I just thought…”

“Wh-who?”

Brian took a deep breath. “Justin. Remember the good looking blond in the photo I showed you?”

Liam shot him a knowing look, accompanied by a sly smile. “Y-y-your b-b-boy f-f-friend?” he asked.

 

Brian squished his face up distastefully at the title. “Ok! If you must put a label to it, then yes, my booyyyfriend!” he drawled out the title mockingly making Liam laugh.

“And…I brought someone else too,” he added.

Liam gave him a questioning look.

“Gus.”

Liam’s mouth dropped open. “G-g-gus?”

Brian stood up, pulling Liam up with him. “Yes. Gus. It’s time you met my son.”

Liam’s eyes welled up. “G-g-gus,” he said with awe in his voice.

Brian took his hand. “Are you ready to meet your nephew?” he asked.

Liam squeezed his hand, gaining strength and courage from his brother.

“Yes,” he said, clear as day.

Brian’s chest swelled. He nodded his head and, together, they went down to the cafeteria to meet the other two loves in Brian’s life.

 

PART 3

 

“Go fish, Uncle Liam!”

Brian watched his brother and son play cards from the other side of the solarium. Justin was curled up by his side on the couch, his blond head resting on his shoulder. He couldn’t remember a time when he felt this happy…this content. The last twenty-four hours had been a revelation, not to mention remarkably liberating. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, and oddly enough, he had Joan to thank for it. Her threats and manipulations were responsible for the scene before him now. His brother and son, laughing and playing together.

Liam’s reaction to meeting his son was as Brian expected. He was a little hesitant to approach him at first, but his son, in typical Kinney fashion, took control and walked boldly up to his uncle.

“Hello, I’m Gus Kinney! And you’re my Uncle Liam!” he had announced proudly.

A smile had broken out on Liam’s face that lit up the room. He knelt down – with some difficulty – on one knee and held his arms open for Gus. Gus accepted the invitation and carefully walked in to them. Brian was proud that Gus heeded his words earlier about Liam’s condition and was careful not to throw himself into his uncle’s arms. After that first introduction, things just got better from there. Gus talked Liam’s ear off, giving his uncle little opportunity to respond, which Brian was sure Liam was grateful for. He was still self conscious about his speech around new people.

Justin, however, wasn’t as restrained with his response to Liam. He pulled the man into his arms and gave him a firm hug as one brother would give another. The greeting made Brian’s chest fill with emotion. Justin accepted his brother as a man, but more importantly, as an equal and someone important to him.

They finished their lunch together, then retired back to the solarium where Gus had challenged Liam to a game of “Go Fish.” There was no more talk of courts and petitions. The rest of the afternoon flew by comfortably and Brian was sad to see that they would have to end it soon since Justin still had to pick up his mother and take her to the airport. He had offered to go alone, but Brian felt Liam had had enough excitement for one day. Tomorrow he intended to bring two more people from the family to meet him.

“Is everyone going to be at Deb’s later tonight?” Justin asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Brian had called Debbie earlier and told him to gather the family – he had something important he needed to tell them.

“She said she’d make sure everyone was there,” he said, turning his head away from Justin, “including Claire.”

Justin sat up. “You told her to invite Claire? Don’t you think you should talk to your sister alone first?” he said.

Brian stared off into the gardens outside the solarium windows. “I don’t want to talk to her alone,” he said.

Justin furrowed his brow. “Why? I mean, I know you two aren’t close, but Deb told me you both still keep up with each other’s lives. Well, through Deb anyway,” he said.

Brian let out a short laugh. “Why am I not surprised you talked to Deb about my relationship with my sister?” he said.

Justin flinched at the unspoken accusation but Brian didn’t see it, he kept his gaze glued to the window.

“Okay, so I made a few inquires. But before you get mad, remember that you pried into my past as well. So let’s not go there, it’s over. If not for your interest in my life before I moved here, I would have never discovered that Hobbs was innocent,” he said.

Brian turned to look at him. “I wouldn’t say ‘innocent’, but yeah, he wasn’t guilty of a crime. He should have never spent the past two years in jail,” he reluctantly admitted. Though he was glad Justin found closure with Hobbs, there was still a part of him that was resentful that the man had had his blond’s love first.

“No, he shouldn’t have, and if you hadn’t forced me to confront him, he may still be in jail. He’s not only free because of you, but will be receiving one hell of a settlement from the city for wrongful imprisonment,” Justin said.

“Bullshit. He’s free because you believed him. I was willing to let the little shit stew in his own troubles. But you wanted to prove his innocence. And he’s getting a big settlement because Lucas is a fucking amazing lawyer,” Brian corrected.

“He’s free because you helped me track down the real guilty parties, and he’s going to be rich because you paid Lucas to represent him. You did these things against your better judgment because you love me. And that’s why I pried into your relationship with Claire and your mother,” Justin said.

“Well, then you know we don’t talk and why,” Brian said.

“Yes, I do know why you two haven’t spoken in years, but what I don’t understand is why you still don’t want to talk to her. You’ve faced the worst already. I heard you, Brian…that confrontation with your mother was painful, but long overdue and very therapeutic. As ugly as it was, it opened the door to this,” he said, nodding his head towards Liam and Gus, “another situation that was long overdue. You and Claire need to talk…alone. I’m sure there are things you both need to say to each other. Why are you avoiding it?” Justin asked.

Brian sighed deeply. “Because I’m afraid that conversation won’t go much better than the one I had with Joan,” he said.

Justin pulled his bottom lip in and gnawed on it. From what he understood, Brian had no major beef with his sister. They just never had a chance to be close. She avoided everyone in the house and moved out as soon as she could…

‘Shit,’ Justin thought. ‘She left, leaving Brian behind to deal with Jack’s abuse all alone.’

Justin took Brian’s hand in his own and pulled him down for a soft kiss. “It’s still a conversation you need to have. You’re still protecting her, when she should have protected you,” he said.

Brian scoffed. “How could she? Jack would have destroyed her.”

Justin nodded his head. “Yes, he would have. And you know that…in your head. But, your heart feels betrayed that she didn’t at least try to save you. Even if she had failed, she should have tried. Logically, I’m sure you knew it was impossible. If anything, she might have only made things worse if she tried to save you. But our hearts don’t always understand what our minds know,” he said.

Brian smiled at him. “How did you get to be so wise?”

Justin leaned his head back on his shoulder. “I met this wonderful, gorgeous man who I fell totally in love with. He taught me how to listen to my heart without letting my head get in the way,” he said.

Brian chuckled. “Wow, Sunshine, you sure you didn’t just grow a pussy sprouting that nauseating line of lesbianic bullshit?”

“Don’t make me kick your ass Brian, you know I can,” he said with a wry smile.

Brian leaned over and kissed him. “Perhaps. You do possess extraordinary combat skills. And yet…I still top,” he quipped.

Justin laughed. “Only because I let you,” he countered.

“Hmmm…how would you feel if I stopped letting you ‘let’ me top?” he asked, rubbing his nose against Justin’s.

Justin’s jaw dropped open in shock at the threat. “Ok, now that’s just cruel!” he said.

Brian shot him a satisfied smirk. There was nothing more that Justin loved than Brian’s cock up his ass.

“Daddy, Daddy! Come play with us!” Gus’s voice washed over them.

Brian smiled over at his son. “No way! He cheats!” he said, laughing.

Liam looked horrified which only made Brian laugh harder. “We don’t have time any way Sonny Boy, we have to go,” he said, rising from the couch. Justin followed him.

Gus pouted. “Do we hafta Daddy? I wanna stay longer.”

Brian swooped him up in his arms. “Not today, Sonny Boy. We have to take Justin’s mother to the airport. But we’ll be back,” he said, looking over to his brother. “You up for more visitors tomorrow?” he asked.

Liam’s face lit up. “G-g-gus?” he asked.

“Gus has school tomorrow. I was thinking about bringing Deb and Lindsay by,” he said.

Liam frowned, but nodded his head. “R-r-ra-rather h-have G-g-g-gus,” he said.

Gus bounced excitedly in his father’s arms. Liam stood and opened his arms so Brian handed Gus over to him.

“Y-you c-c-come b-b-b-back?” he asked, squeezing the child in his arms.

Gus wrapped his tiny arms around his neck tightly. “I will, Uncle Liam. Promise,” he whispered in his ear and Liam believed him because a Kinney never broke his promise.

Brian took Gus from Liam and Justin filled his place by once again pulling the man in for a big hug. “I am so glad Brian brought me here today,” he said, squeezing him tight.

Liam hugged him back just as fiercely. “M-m-me t-t-too,” he answered.

Justin had to fight the tears that stung the back of his lids from spilling forth. He reluctantly pulled away from Liam, saying, “I’ll be back too. If that’s ok with you.”

Liam smiled at him. “I’d l-l-like t-t-that. I’ll t-t-tell y-you a-a-all B-b-b-brian’s se-se-crets,” he teased

“Hey now! He’s a handful as it is. Don’t give him any more ammunition!” Brian said.

They all laughed.

“We really have to go now,” Brian said, handing Gus over to Justin.

Justin took Gus and they both said good bye to Liam before leaving the brothers alone in the solarium. Once they were gone, Brian pulled his brother in for a hug.

“You know, I don’t think you’ve received this many hugs ever. How are you holding up?” he asked.

Liam pulled back from him. “I’m f-f-fine. Th-thank y-y-you f-f-for b-b-b-bringing th-them,” he said, holding Brian’s gaze.

Brian gave him a serious look. “I should have brought them, and the rest of the family, by sooner. Especially Gus,” he said.

Liam shook his head. “W-w-was t-t-too y-y-young,” Liam said.

“I think he could have handled it,” Brian said.

“N-not h-him. M-m- me! I-I w-w-was t-t-too y-y-young!” Liam said, laughing.

Brian smiled, but then his face grew serious again. He reached out and smoothed a wayward strand of hair from Liam’s forehead and said wistfully, “You were never too young. You never got the chance.”

Liam grabbed his wrists. “St-stop. N-n-not y-y-your f-fault,” he said.

Brian held his gaze. “I should have –”

“Sh-sh-should g-g-get m-me a d-d-date wi-with A-anna,” Liam interrupted.

Brian laughed. “Be careful, Bro. We Kinneys have a nasty habit of letting our dicks think for us which often leads to trouble,” he said.

“I-I c-c-could u-use s-s-some t-t-trouble,” Liam said.

Brian smirked knowingly at him. “I see we’re going to have to have that ‘sex’ talk,” he said.

Liam actually rolled his eyes. “I know a-all I n-need t-t-to know. And wha-what I-I d-d-don’t kn-know, sh-she’ll t-t-teach m-m-me,” he said before he gently turned Brian around. “N-n-now g-go. G-g-gus is wai-waiting,” he said.

“Ok, ok,” Brian said a bit shocked at his brother’s words. ‘He really is ready to be on his own,’ he thought with mixed emotions. Part of him was thrilled; the other part would miss taking care of his little brother.

When he got to the door he stopped and turned around. “I’ll send Lucas over tomorrow morning. He’s the lawyer I mentioned earlier. Just tell him what you want. Then I’ll be by later in the afternoon with Lindsay and Debbie. I’m giving you fair warning now, be prepared to be hugged to death by Debbie,” he said.

Lucas threw him a sly look. “I-I’ll b-b-be f-fine. J-j-just re-mem-member t-t-to b-b-bring Le-le-mon b-b-bars,” he said.

Brian shook his head, laughing as he walked out of the solarium. As he walked away, Liam could swear he heard him muttering something about “the Kinney libido” kicking in…

 

PART 4

 

Two weeks later…

The courtroom was filled with family and friends. And one did not necessarily coincide with the other. On one side of the room, Brian sat with Mel to his left and Justin to his right. Their whole family sat behind them. On the other side sat the enemy – Joan, her lawyer, and Claire.

‘Fucking cunt!’ Brian thought.

He’d taken Justin’s advice and talked to his sister privately before telling his family about Liam. She flipped, which he expected, but then she took Joan’s side, which he did not expect. Oh, she had her reasons – reasons Brian didn’t want to hear but ones that Debbie, for some God only knows reason, understood and expected him to understand, but he didn’t. And he wouldn’t. After everything that had happened to them she chose to stand by her mother’s side. Well, fuck her.

Melanie elbowed him, forcing him from his thoughts. “Brian, stay focused. Don’t look over there. Esposito is a shark. You can’t let him see your anger or fear. He’ll use it against you,” she said.

Brian snarled quietly, but heeded Mel’s advice. He hadn’t thought he’d need a lawyer but Lucas told him he would need one, so he hired Mel. His original intent was to just work with Lucas to help Liam get emancipated. He was happy to give up guardianship, but Lucas said there was a very real possibility that the judge wouldn’t rule in Liam’s favor. Joan’s lawyer had hired his own “experts,” who submitted affidavits stating that, in their professional, medical opinion, Liam wasn’t mentally competent enough to make his own decisions concerning his affairs. And to make matters worse, Mel informed him just this morning that Liam’s own doctor, Dr. Denno – the man he’d been paying a small fortune to all these years – was going to testify, agreeing with the other “experts.” He should have seen that coming. If Liam got emancipated, he might decide to leave Dr. Denno’s care and that would mean bye-bye to Brian’s money.

This whole situation was one big cluster fuck. Liam sat in the middle of the two sides with his lawyer, Lucas, and Anna (who insisted on being there on Liam’s behalf) looking so dejected it broke Brian’s heart. His brother wasn’t stupid. He knew about the affidavits and Dr. Denno’s damning testimony. Brian swore to him that once they won – and he made it clear that they would win – he was going to fire his ass and make sure the man never practiced in the state again. Liam felt devastated by what he perceived as betrayal by his own doctor.

“Sniff..sniff…”

Brian snapped his head around and glared at Debbie who had been crying since they had arrived. She was getting on his nerves.

He knew when he told his family about Liam they would all descend upon him like a gaggle of mother hens, but none were as protective or possessive as Debbie. She immediately accepted Liam as her own, and Brian really did love her for it, but she was too emotional over this whole affair. She fucking beat Emmett out in the dramatics! At least he was just sitting by her, looking sad, and not babbling like a fool.

The last thing Brian wanted was for everyone to act like this was some kind of Greek tragedy being played out. It was a hearing. Period. Lucas would present Liam’s petition to the judge for emancipation and Joan would protest it. The judge would decide whether or not to revoke Brian’s guardianship and grant Liam his rights back, or deny him. If denied, Joan would then petition the court for guardianship, and Brian would fight her. It was a simple affair, and one that Brian was sure he’d win not only because the law was on his side, but because Mel was one fucking badass, take-no-prisoners lawyer. She had her own arsenal of weapons to whip out against Joan. He wasn’t worried – he just wished everyone else would stop acting like there was something to worry about!

“Bri…easy. Liam’s picking up on your stress,” Justin whispered to him.

Brian took a deep breath. If it weren’t for Justin these past couple of weeks he swore he’d have strangled someone. His blond kept him grounded when he felt like things were spiraling out of control. And it wasn’t because of the family. They were all terrific in how they handled the news and how they dealt with Liam. They understood not to overwhelm him. No one spoke to him about the proceedings. They all just took turns visiting, and getting to know him, and him them. It was actually very liberating for Brian. And Liam was flourishing under their attention. He was really coming out of his shell. Everything, in that department anyway, was going better than he expected.

What had Brian fucking climbing the walls was Claire. No one, except Justin of course, knew how affected he was that she took Joan’s side. Though they were never close, he truly believed their shared past experience with their poor excuses for parents would unite them if and when the time came. Well, now was the time and she was in the enemy’s camp and, for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why. Debbie was foolish enough to try to defend her actions; Justin was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.

“All rise. Superior court of the state of Pennsylvania, County of Delaware, is now in session. The Honorable Judge Clarence Hastings presiding,” the bailiff announced as the judge took his seat behind the bench.

“Please be seated,” Judge Hastings ordered.

Brian felt Justin’s hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly in encouragement. He looked over and smiled at him, then turned to look at Mel. His smile faded.

“What the fuck is wrong?” he leaned over and whispered to her. She was white as a ghost.

“That’s Hastings…it’s not supposed to be Hastings. Mackenzie is supposed to be the presiding judge…” she recited in a distant voice that scared the shit out of Brian.

“Fuck! This isn’t good, is it?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

Mel shook her head as if to clear her thoughts, then stood up and addressed the judge.

“Your Honor, on behalf of my client I’d like to request that you recuse yourself from this case on the grounds of a conflict of interest in lieu of your recent political contributions and association with the Christian coalition group, HOME,” she stated.

 

Justin leaned over to Brian. “What’s HOME?” he asked.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “Fuck if I know, but it doesn’t sound good.”

Lucas then rose and addressed the judge. “Your Honor, I’d like to second Ms. Marcus’s request and ask that you recuse yourself from this case. Not only are you a known supporter of Heterosexuals Organization for Moral Environment, you’ve made substantial political contributions over the years in support of bills that called for the criminalization of homosexuality,” he stated.

“Guess we know what HOME stands for now,” Brian spat out bitterly.

“Request denied,” Judge Hastings said.

“I object,” Mel said.

“Objection noted,” the judge countered.

“I also object,” Lucas said.

The judge turned to the clerk. “Please note both counselor’s objections for the record,” he said.

“Your Honor –” Mel started, but was cut off.

“Enough counselor! My personal views have no bearing on this case. We will proceed without prejudice, I assure you,” he said.

Brian snorted. “Oh, we are so fucked,” he said.

“I heard that, Mr. Kinney. Another outburst like that and I’ll hold you in contempt,” the judge said.

Justin dug into the brunet’s thigh, warning him to shut the fuck up.

“Judge Hastings, I ask that you please reconsider. My client –”

“As far as I know is not gay,” Hastings said, interrupting Lucas. “So my supposed conflicts shouldn’t be an issue,” he commented sarcastically.

“Let’s just start with his petition, shall we? Ms. Marcus, if there is need, we’ll revisit your objection,” he stated.

Mel nodded her head in agreement and sat down. “He’s hinting there might not be need for him to hear our case at all. That’s a good sign. He’s signaling that he’s considering granting Liam’s petition. Just sit tight, and try not to piss him off,” she whispered to Brian.

Brian took a deep breath. He was cautiously optimistic, though experience had taught him to be ready for anything.

“Now, Mr. Manchester, I see here your client is petitioning for emancipation,” the judge said as he shuffled through some papers.

“Yes, Your Honor. Mr. Kinney, Liam Kinney, wishes to have his rights reinstated to make his own decisions involving his personal and medical needs,” Lucas answered.

“Uh huh. I understand that Mr. Kinney has been living in mental institutions since the age of seven,” Judge Hastings said.

“Yes, he has. And, as you can see in the reports, has benefited greatly from his most recent stay at Brentwood. Since his transfer to that facility, Mr. Kinney has made remarkable strides in his recovery,” Lucas said.

“Uh huh,” the judge grunted as he continued to flip through his papers. “Recovered enough not to be considered a danger to himself should he be granted emancipation?”

“We wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case, Your Honor,” Lucas drawled haughtily.

Hastings looked up from his papers and glared at Lucas. “Watch your tone, Mr. Manchester. This court will not abide pompous lawyers,” he said.

“Sorry, Your Honor, no disrespect intended,” Lucas said.

The judge huffed. “I know you are being paid to speak for Mr. Kinney, but do you suppose I could have a chat with the lad?” the judge asked in an exaggerated, condescending tone.

“Of course, Your Honor,” Lucas said, then put his hand on Liam’s elbow, urging him to rise. Liam stood, shoulders squared, and faced the judge. Brian watched him with such pride it hurt.

Judge Hastings set the papers down and looked at him. “Mr. Kinney, can you tell me, in your own words, why you are here?” he asked.

Liam swallowed and cleared his throat before answering. “I-I w-w-ant m-m-my r-r-rights b-b-b-back,” he said, keeping his answers short and simple, as Lucas had instructed.

“Uh huh,” the judge said again, “and tell me, Mr. Kinney, if you were granted emancipation, what would you do?”

Liam looked confused. “D-d-do?” he asked.

“Yes, do. Where would you live? How would you provide for yourself?” he asked.

Liam smiled. He was prepared for this question. “I-I h-have a-a t-t-trust f-f-fund. I-I w-w-would l-l-live a-at th-the in-instt-stii-tute,” he said.

The judge leaned back and narrowed his eyes. “So what you are saying, Mr. Kinney, is that nothing would change. You would still live at the Institute and your brother would still be paying for it.” He glanced at the documents before him. He knew Mr. Kinney’s brother was executive of his trust fund. He currently made every financial and medical decision on his brother’s behalf.

“Y-y-yes b-b-b-but I-I d-d-decide,” Liam said.

Judge Hastings grunted and leaned forward again picking up the papers and perusing them once more. “What about treatment, Mr. Kinney? Do you feel you are competent enough to make sound medical decisions on your own?” he asked.

“Y-y-yes S-s-sir,” Liam answered.

“Uh huh, let me ask you this, Mr. Kinney, why do several prominent psychiatrists, your mother, and even your own doctor all say differently?” he asked.

Liam looked the judge directly in the eyes. “I-I d-d-don’t kn-know. A-ask t-t-them,” he said.

Brian put his hand to his mouth to hide his smirk. ‘There’s a little too much Kinney in him,’ he thought.

The judge frowned at him. “Do you think you know more than they do?” he asked.

“M-m-my l-l-life. I d-d-decide,” Liam stated firmly.

The judge frowned again and shook his head. “Unfortunately, Mr. Kinney, it’s this court’s responsibility to make that decision, not you,” he said.

“Your Honor, as you can see, we have an equal number of experts testifying that Mr. Kinney is indeed competent enough to be making his own medical decisions. As for Mr. Kinney’s current doctor, may I remind the court that the man has a financial, vested interest in keeping Mr. Kinney under his care,” Lucas said.

“Uh huh, well I doubt your client or his brother would continue to use the good doctor’s services after this, so that blows your theory out of the water, Counselor. Mr. Kinney’s doctor, in this court’s opinion, is acting in the best interest of his patient. If I were to grant your client emancipation, there is no guarantee he would remain under his doctor’s care or even stay at the Institute. All parties agree that your client made the most progress at Brentwood, under Dr. Denno’s care,” the judge stated.

“Your Honor, with all due respect, the point of asking for emancipation is so that my client can make his own decisions on who treats him, and where he’ll reside,” Lucas said.

“Uh huh. And it’s this court’s responsibility to determine if your client is of sound enough mind to make those decisions,” the judge countered.

Lucas took a deep breath. “Your Honor, my client just told you he intended to stay at the Institute. The place where you, yourself, just said he improved the most. Surely, you would consider that a decision made by a sound mind,” he said.

The judge threw Lucas a dubious look, then turned to look at Liam. “Mr. Kinney, would you keep your doctor, the doctor who has been helping you achieve your remarkable recovery over the past several years, on as your doctor?” he asked.

The blood in Brian’s veins froze. He knew what was coming next.

Liam looked over to his brother, which Judge Hastings caught. “Mr. Kinney, please address the court. If you want independence, you need to stop looking to your brother for answers. I’ll ask again, do you intend to keep Dr. Denno on as your physician?”

Liam turned back to look at him. “N-n-no S-sir,” he said.

Brian mentally groaned. He wished his brother would have lied, but he hadn’t been in the real world. He had no idea how cruel and unfair life was and, once again, he cursed Joan to Hell for what she was doing to her own son.

“Uh huh, and why is that Mr. Kinney?” Judge Hastings asked.

Liam lowered his head. “B-b-be-ccause h-h-he b-b-betrayed m-m-me,” he said in a childish, forlorn voice.

Brian felt his pain at that betrayal slash through his heart. All hopes that his brother would be granted emancipation just blew up in their faces at that honest confession. He turned to Mel. “Get ready,” he whispered.

She nodded her head. The battle was on.

The judge cleared his throat and sat back. “Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Kinney. You may sit. The court has made it’s decision,” he said.

But Lucas wasn’t giving up. “Your Honor! Mr. Kinney should be rewarded for his honesty, not penalized! May I ask Your Honor, or anyone in this courtroom, would they keep a doctor on who had betrayed their trust? Dr. Denno never even discussed with his own patient what his thoughts were about his petition! Indeed, he only came forward this morning with his intentions to testify against Mr. Kinney’s request! Surely, my client is entitled to be hurt by such a betrayal, as any person of ‘sound’ mind would be!” Lucas defended passionately.

Judge Hastings held his hand up. “Yes, we are all entitled to our emotions, Counselor. However, the medical evidence presented shows that while your client has made much progress in his physical recovery, he still has problems processing emotions. All experts agree on this one medical fact. Dr. Denno’s decision to not discuss his intentions with his client is just further proof that he did not feel Mr. Kinney capable of emotionally comprehending his reasoning, as was clearly demonstrated just now. Your client is making decisions based on emotions…emotions that are not fully developed and this court cannot in good conscience allow Mr. Kinney to make decisions…decisions that may be detrimental to his continued health, in his current medical condition. Petition for emancipation DENIED!” he said, concluding his statement by slamming down his gavel on his desk.

Liam looked to Lucas, his eyes filled with despair and panic. “Liam, its ok. We’ll appeal. This judge wasn’t supposed to be presiding today. I’ll resubmit your petition to a different judge. You will get your rights back, I promise. It’s just going to take a little time,” Lucas assured him.

Liam looked over to Brian and Brian smiled and nodded at him, conveying it was ok. They were going to continue to fight. Liam sighed in relief and sat down.

“Now,” the judge said, bringing everyone’s attention back to him, “there is the matter of Mr. Brian Kinney’s guardianship over his brother. Mrs. Kinney, Liam Kinney’s mother, is challenging the validity of Mr. Kinney’s legal rights over his brother,” he said.

Mel stood up at this point. “Your Honor, Mrs. Kinney’s claim is without merit. She and her husband gave their youngest son over to the state when he was just seven years old. She didn’t even know he was still alive until my client informed her years later when he found his brother residing in a state institution. At that same time, my client petitioned the court for custody of his brother. Mrs. Kinney once again signed over her rights, only this time to her oldest son, my client, Brian Kinney. It is ingenious now of Mrs. Kinney to want to take over custody of her youngest son. One could only assume her reasons are for financial gain since it has been established in this court, that Mr. Liam Kinney has a substantial trust fund that would be transferred over to her care should my client’s guardianship be revoked. Let the record show that my client has been paying for Mrs. Kinney’s mortgage since her husband passed away and that Mrs. Kinney has recently been treated for alcohol addiction. It is our position that Mrs. Kinney is not financially, or emotionally, stable enough to take on the care of an adult with special medical needs,” Mel paused at this point to gauge the judge’s reaction. He looked bored. Not a good sign.

 

Judge Hastings shifted uncomfortably in his chair before stating, “I’ve read the reports Ms. Marcus. Mrs. Kinney has been in recovery now for over six months. I have written affidavits from her doctor and sponsor that she is more than capable to care for her son. There is no evidence to the contrary other than your baseless accusations, which will be stricken from the record,” the judge paused at this point to instruct the clerk to do just that. He then turned and gave the bailiff a pointed look. The bailiff nodded and left the courtroom.

A chill went down Brian’s spine. Every instinct he possessed screamed trouble. Justin was obviously having the same reaction. He leaned over and whispered to him, “Get ready, this is about to get ugly.”

Brian mentally cursed. Situations like this always got ugly when his blond was around. Especially if the situation posed a danger to Brian, which Brian felt with every fiber of his being was going to be the case. He leaned over and whispered in Justin’s ear, “Promise me you won’t overreact.”

Justin grimaced, but nodded his head, making the promise.

The judge turned back to Mel. “All parents make mistakes, Ms. Marcus. Mrs. Kinney and her husband made the right decision in giving their son to the state when they did. They did not have the means to provide the medical care their son needed. As time passed, their situation did not improve, then Mr. Kinney passed away,” he said, then paused again to take a sip of water.

Everyone waited anxiously for the bomb they all felt coming to drop. “As to your client’s guardianship, evidence has been presented to this court that Mr. Kinney forged his mothers’ signature, which is a federal offense. The original document your client presented to the court stating that Mrs. Kinney allegedly signed over her rights to him was examined by several experts. All have deemed it a forgery,” he declared, looking over to the side entrance where the bailiff was reentering with two armed police officers. He nodded his head to them, then turned back to address Mel.

“The court hereby revokes Mr. Kinney’s guardianship over Liam Kinney and grants Mrs. Kinney guardianship. Mr. Kinney will be taken into custody and brought up on charges of forgery and perjury – for lying to the seventh district court where he presented the forged document stating under oath that it was Mrs. Kinney’s signature. Bailiff, take Mr. Kinney into custody,” the judge ordered.

There was a collective gasp in the courtroom, but none so loud, or as heart wrenching as the wail that escaped Liam.

“Nooo…Nooo…NOOOO…” he screamed out.

Chaos broke out as family members loudly voiced their objections. Debbie threatened to cut off the judge’s balls; Shane and Michael had to drag her out of the courtroom before she was arrested too. Emmett and Ted went to Brian’s aid and Justin ran over to Liam.

“Your Honor, you have no right to do this! I’m Mr. Kinney’s lawyer; I was never informed of these charges! To pull this stunt here in a courtroom instead of going to the police is HIGHLY improper and in violation of judicial law!” Mel went off.

The judge stood up and actually smirked at Mel. “Court is now adjourned,” he said, before turning to leave the courtroom.

Lucas, who was busy trying to calm his client, was grateful when Justin came over and took Liam into his arms. He turned to the judge.

“Let the record show that Ms. Marcus and I will be bringing Judge Hastings’s reprehensible actions today to the attention of the State’s Judiciary Commission and demand that he be stripped of his robes for his conduct! Retribution for his outrageous abuse of his position will be forthcoming,” Lucas threatened.

The judge stopped and turned to Lucas. “Do your best, Counselor,” he said with a cocksure grin.

Lucas smiled evilly back at him. This judge had no idea how far he’d go to make sure the man paid for his actions today. He wasn’t above going outside the law either. “Have no doubt Your Honor, I’m a man of my word,” he said.

The Judge’s face grew impassive. He shrugged his shoulders indifferently and turned to exit the courtroom.

Mel turned to Brian who was now being put in handcuffs. “Is that fucking necessary?!” she yelled at the cop

“Mel, let it go,” Brian said. Mel snapped her eyes to him and noticed how calm he was.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked.

“Watch out for Liam,” he said

Justin rushed back to Brian’s side. He turned to the cops. “I need a minute, guys; just one minute,” he said.

The one cop shook his head no, but the other cop, who knew Brian personally, pulled the other cop back. “You got 30 seconds and we’ll be right here,” he said stepping back so that Brian, Mel, Ted, Emmett, and Justin would have some privacy.

Justin turned to Brian. “Joan won’t let me near him. Denno gave him a shot to calm him and ordered an ambulance. Brian, I don’t think they’re taking him back to Brentwood. Joan mentioned something about picking up his things on the way,” he said.

“Mother fucker!” It was the first sign of emotion Brian displayed since the judge ordered his arrest.

“Yeah, well, it gets worse. Denno fired Anne and ordered that no one from our side of the family is allowed access to Liam,” he said.

The veins in Brian’s neck throbbed as his face burned with anger. Justin put his hand on his arm. “It’s not all bad news. Claire is on our side,” he said.

Brian’s eyes widened in disbelief and shock.

“I know. It caught me off guard too. But it’s true. She pulled me aside and gave me her cell number. She said she knew her mother was unstable and wanted to stay close to her in case something like this happened. She said she’d do whatever it took to make sure Liam is all right. I believe her, Bri. She’s going to ride in the ambulance with Liam and Joan’s going to follow them with their lawyer,” he said.

“Justin, they can’t take Liam away from his family!” Emmett spoke for the first time.

“I know Em, I’m not going to let that happen,” Justin said.

There was a determination in his voice that unnerved Brian, “Justin, Liam can’t take this stress. It might trigger another seizure and God only knows what kind of damage that would cause! This could set him back big time – and cause permanent damage. I don’t know how long I’ll be in. I need you on the outside to watch over him. For fuck sakes don’t do anything rash! I know you…what are you planning?” Brian asked, panic heavy in his voice.  
“Brian….trust me, ok?” Justin said.

Brian briefly closed his eyes. He knew Justin was going to do something drastic and probably stupid. “Justin…”

“No, Bri. I’m not telling you, just trust me. I won’t let that bitch take him away,” Justin said, then turned to Ted. “Ted, can you put a hold on Brian’s accounts?” he asked.

“Um, sure. Anything you need, but why?” Ted asked.

“I don’t want Joan or that fucking doctor having access to Brian’s money. It will give us some leverage,” Justin said.

Brian turned to Mel. “Mel, your fired,” he said, then turned to Ted.

“Ted, hire Mel as your lawyer. I want you to transfer all my money, including Liam’s trust fund, into the agency’s account. Then have Mel file a class action suit on behalf of the firm’s employees against Private Dicks. Sue for unpaid wages or some shit. Mel, get a judge to freeze Private Dicks accounts until a hearing can be scheduled. Then delay,” Brian instructed as everyone listened with rapt attention.

Brian then turned to Justin. “That will freeze up Liam’s trust. Money will stop flowing to the Institute and Joan won’t have access to it. Plus, her mortgage payments will lapse, which is due this week. All funding for Liam’s care will be cut off. I hate doing this, I don’t want my brother to go without,” he said.

“He won’t. I’ll make sure of that,” Justin said, before turning to Ted again. “Ted, before you transfer the money, I need you to write me a check for fifty grand. That should cover expenses,” he said.

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Make it a hundred grand and what the fuck are you planning!” he demanded.

Justin shook his head. “I can’t tell you, Brian. If I do, you’ll be an accomplice,” he said.

Brian and Mel both cursed loudly.

“He’s right, you’ve got enough trouble, Brian. Since you fired Mel, I suggest you hire Lucas to get you out of this mess. Justin and I will handle this,” Emmett said.

Justin shot Emmett a look. “Em, I don’t –”

“Yes, you do,” Emmett interrupted him. “Whatever you’re planning, you’re going to need help. For Liam’s sake, you have to let me help you,” Emmett said.

“Ok, you guys, that’s enough gossiping, time to go,” one of the officers announced as they approached the group.

“Ok, fine!” Justin hissed to Emmett, then turned to Brian and threw his arms around his neck. “I love you…I won’t let anything bad happen to Liam. I promise,” he said.

One of the officers put his hand on Justin’s arm to pull him away. Justin reacted on instinct and grabbed the officer’s wrist and twisted his arm. The other officer reached for his gun Justin saw the move and let the cop go. He moved back with his hands up in the air.

“Sorry guys, just a reflex. I trained at the New York City police academy,” he said.

The officer took his hand off his gun and nodded his head at a fellow officer. “No problem,” he said, then took Brian by the arm and led him away.

Justin watched with watery eyes as they took his lover away. Rage filled him. Rage at Joan, the judge, and everyone involved in hurting Brian and his brother.

Emmett turned to Justin. “So what’s the plan?” he asked, dragging his thoughts back to the present.

Justin wiped at his tears and shook his head to clear his thoughts, ‘Keep it together Taylor!’ he told himself.

He then turned and pulled Emmett away from the prying ears of Mel and Ted.

“You up for a good, old-fashioned kidnapping?”


	23. Chapter 23

“Hey,”

Brian gave the tall man who was currently casting a shadow over him a cursory glance before looking away.

The man moved to sit on the bench to Brian’s left. Brian leaned back and rested his elbows on the wood planked table behind him. His shaded gaze remained focused on the barbed wire fence across the yard.

The man cleared his throat then leaned over to whisper in Brian’s ear, “I hear you can get ‘stuff’,” he said.

Brian let out a short harsh laugh, “Do you now?” he said, “I’m here less than a week and already pegged as the Luggar*. How novel...” he droned in a bored voice.

The man moved back from Brian and scanned the yard with trained eyes before resting his gaze on Brian’s profile, “Manu said you got him fancy cigars. And Red said you got Stymie new reading glasses,” he said.

Brian snorted out his contempt, “Fucking prison grapevine is as accurate as ever I see,” he groused sarcastically, “Stymie’s Kite* for his new glasses has been sitting on some Bull’s* desk for months. They were bound to come in eventually and Manu’s cigars, as far as I know, were shipped in from a relative of his in Florida. I had nothing to do with either,” he replied never bothering to look at the man to his side.

The man shifted uncomfortably next to him, “Yeah, well maybe a ‘relative’ or ‘Kite’ will come through for me too. I got me some money to help that process along,” he said.

Brian sighed. It had been four days. Four fucking days wasted in the State Penn of all places when he should have been let out on bail two hours after his arrest. But that cocksucker Hastings had a grudge he wasn’t letting go of. He sentenced Brian to thirty days in jail for contempt. A charge he levied against Brian when he found out the forgery charges weren’t going to stick - thanks to the amazing investigative talents of his staff.

Shane and Cynthia had dug up some nasty shit on the experts who disputed the legitimacy of Joan’s signature on Liam’s guardianship papers. The threat of having their ‘dirty little secrets’ exposed to the public had each expert reevaluating their original assessment of the ‘allegedly’ forged papers. They all recanted their statements saying the documents in question were doctored and now claimed that Joan’s signature giving her rights to her son up was indeed authentic.

Judge Hastings blew a fucking gasket having missed his opportunity to put Brian away for a long time and instead had to settle on charging him with contempt. It was the best he could do within the law.

Lucas was in the process of trying to convince a judge, any judge, to overturn the ruling with no success so far. They were all steering clear of Hastings, and anything to do with him because of the Judges’ current predicament – thanks to Lucas’ relentless pursuit of his own special brand of justice.

 

The moment Hastings left the courtroom four days ago Lucas brought charges of judicial misconduct and abuse of power against him to the State Judicial Commission. A full-blown investigation was launched looking into the events on the day in question and the judges’ self-imposed authority in charging Brian with a crime without an official police investigation or approval from the DA. Hastings was temporarily removed from the bench until the results of the investigation were in. Though this all played in Brian’s favor, as far as the forgery charges were concerned, the contempt charge was still in place and would remain so until another judge overturned it. And no one was willing to touch it while the investigation was still going on.

Brian should have been happy he was only battling contempt charges. After all, he ‘did’ forge Joan’s signature. He could have gone away for a long time if it weren’t for his friends on the outside - friends who were also helping to make his life, and a few of his fellow inmates lives, on the inside a little easier.

He’d recruited Shane and Ted to smuggle in contrabands that he doled out to certain inmates – something the state would normally handle, but because of major cuts to the States budget they now couldn’t afford things like eyeglasses for prisoners. Brian had Shane pull Stymie’s medical records from his prison Jacket* and order a new pair of reading glasses for him. The old cook was so grateful he made sure Brian got his 3 egg white omelet every morning when he walked through the cafeteria line. And as for Manu’s cigars, that was just Brian’s way of saying thank you to a former informant.

Brian found out early that he had past associations with quite a few of the inmates. Many were past informants Brian had used on cases – all low level, non violent, criminals who just fell on hard times. They were only here because of incompetent court appointed lawyers, or strike three on drug possession charges. Brian saw no harm in providing a little outside comfort for these guys…plus it put them squarely in his pocket should he need their assistance at some point.

“Well are you the guy, or not?” The man sitting to his side prompted, bringing Brian’s attention back to him.

 

 _‘…And then there were the scum who deserved to be here…’ he remembered._

 

Brian stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles. He pushed his designer sunglasses future up on his nose with his forefinger and raised his face to the sun. Several long seconds passed before he spoke,

“Not,” he answered then tuned the guy out.

His unsolicited guest however wasn’t about to take no for an answer, “I said I had money! Or is it something else you be want’n?” the guy said - the implication clear in his tone.

Brian laughed in the back of his throat,

“You’re not my type,” he said.

And then, the oh so annoying pest did the unthinkable – he grabbed Brian’s arm.

Brian moved with such speed it confounded reason. One minute the guy was sitting by him, his hand on his arm, the next he was laying flat on the ground, his face in the dirt with Brian standing over him, one foot pressed firmly in his back.

“Back off Kinney, now!” A Hack* yelled as he ran towards him, gun drawn in one hand, signaling for help with the other hand.

Brian put his hands up and moved back from the man on the ground.

“This wouldn’t happen you know if you guys did your fucking job,” he said to the Hack* who was now pulling the guy up from the ground.

The Hack* turned and glared at him, “You’re fucking lucky you got friends in high places Kinney, else I’d have your balls right now,” he said as he put his gun back in his holster.

Brian lifted a brow up at him suggestively.

“Why Officer Newman, is that an invitation?” he said with more than a hint of scorn in his voice.

The Hack* spat on the ground at Brian’s feet in response. He then pushed the man he’d just helped up from the ground away from him,

“Move it Lenny. I see you talking to Kinney again and I’ll throw your ass in the hole* for a week,” he threatened.

Lenny limped away like a wounded puppy, mumbling his dissatisfaction under his breath.

Brian watched Lennys’ retreating form, making a mental note to keep an eye on the man, or more accurately, the new enemy he just made, before turning his attention back to the guard,

“Wouldn’t hurt you to spend some time on the treadmill Frank. You moved like a fucking snail on that one. I could have broken his neck in the time it took you to get your fat ass over here,” he goaded.

He fucking hated Frank. Homophobic prick gave him just enough shit not to get himself in trouble. All the hacks knew Brian had a special relationship with Pittsburgh’s finest. If they fucked with him too much, Carl would have his whole department breathing down their necks.

“Fuck you!” Frank snarled.

Brian graced him with a sarcastic smirk,

“Not in your wildest dreams fat boy and what a pity that is because you…would…fucking…love…IT!” Brian leaned in and practically spat the last part in his face.

“Kinney!”

Brian looked over and saw Ronnie, another Hack, waving him over.

“Visitor,” he called out.

Brian turned back to Frank, “Perhaps another time,” he said then turned and walked away.

Frank grumbled some unintelligible response and stomped off in the other direction.

Ronnie stood waiting for Brian with an amused look on his face.

“One day you’re going to push him too far,” he said.

Brian stopped in front of him and curled his lip in disgust, “He should worry he doesn’t push me too far,” he replied.

Ronnie shook his head and laughed, “Carl said you played by your own rules,”

“Apparently I’m not the only one,” Brian said turning his gaze to Frank who was now talking to Lenny.

“Stay clear of him Brian. Nothing good will come of it,” Ronnie warned.

“I’m not looking for good,” Brian said keeping his eyes trained on the pair of conspirators.

Ronnie frowned, “You’re spoiling for a fight Kinney. I get it. You got personal shit on the outside eating you up on the inside. Don’t let it fuck with your head. It could get you killed in here,” he said then turned and started walking towards the visitors’ courtyard.

Brian refrained from replying and followed him. Ronnie was right of course. His brother was constantly on his mind. He was out there in that Bitches’ care and there was nothing he could do about it. The frustration he was feeling was spilling out into the courtyard. A situation that could land him a jolt* and that was NOT something he was willing to entertain at the moment.

He had to get a grip. Intellectually he knew that Liam was in very good hands. Justin was watching out for him and there was no one, other than himself, that he trusted more to look after his brother. However, the last time he saw Justin was four days ago in the courtroom. No one has heard from him, or Emmett, since. The not knowing was the frustrating part. All Brian knew was that Joan had Liam admitted to Mercy hospital, (A Catholic affiliated hospital – no surprise there) and put under heavy guard. No one outside medical staff could get near him. Joan denied all visitors on Denno’s orders. The good doctor left Brentwood to become Liam’s personal physician. He told Joan that Liam needed time to adjust to his new surroundings without all the disruptions of visitors that he probably wouldn’t recognize in his current state anyway.

That bit of information came, surprisingly, from his sister Claire. She had sent him a message telling him what was happening to their brother. The good news was that Denno had Liam sedated most the time to which Brian was extremely grateful for. He couldn’t imagine what the stress of all this would do to him; but Brian knew sooner or later they’d have to ease Liam off the drugs. He hoped they’d be able to straighten out this whole mess before that happened. Liam needed to be back at Brentwood, in familiar surroundings.

Joan however was proving to be as crafty as she was unstable. She not only managed to cut everyone off from Liam, taking complete control of his care, she also managed to drain Liam’s trust fund before Mel was able to put a hold on Brian’s accounts. She now had the means to keep Liam and herself financially comfortable for the rest of their lives. The plan was to use that money as leverage to get Joan to sign Liam back over to him but now that plan was fucked.

All his hope for his brothers’ salvation now lay in his blond hands. He knew in his heart that Justin would move heaven and earth to protect Liam. He just hoped he didn’t get himself, or Emmett, into a shit load of trouble in the process.

Brian’s disconcerting thoughts dashed from his head the moment he entered the visitors’ area and spied Debbie waiting for him. He wasn’t expecting her this early. He was hoping his visitor was Lucas coming to tell him that he got a judge to over-turn the contempt charges.

Ronnie paused at the picnic table Debbie was sitting at and smiled at her, “Nice to see you again Ma’am,” he said then proceeded to walk on.

 

“You got twenty minutes Kinney,” he called over his shoulder.

Debbie got up and approached Brian with open arms. Brian rolled his eyes as his surrogate mother engulfed him in her strong arms and wept on his prison greens.

He heaved an exaggerated sigh “You know Deb, this routine is getting old,” he said then patted her back gently to take some of the sting from his words away. She visited him every day, usually later though, and each time she reacted the same way.

Debbie pulled back and reached into her pocket for a hanky. She wiped at her eyes before blowing her nose into the flimsy cloth. Brian made a face and motioned for her to sit down.

“Jesus kiddo, what am I going to do with you?” she asked.

She always asked the same question too.

Brian sat sideways on the picnic bench. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

“Did you see the twat doctor yet? I swear you’re menopausal,” he said.

“Hey watch it asshole!”

Brian smiled. He much preferred a spitting angry Debbie to a sobbing mess Debbie.

“I’ll take that as a no,” he said smiling at her, “Well did you at least bring any lemon bars with you this time?” he asked as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it.

“Sure did. I gave Charlie hell for not saving some yesterday. You know how fast they sell out,” she said as reached into her oversized, obscenely garish shoulder bag and pull out four lemon bars, a sandwich, which Brian assumed, was turkey on whole wheat, no mayo, and a small bag of lollipops. He smiled. Very few people knew Brian had a fetish for lollipops, especially the kind with the tootsie roll center.

He picked up one of the lemon bars, “I bet I could get fifty bucks for just one of these babies,” he said.

“Charlie does make the best lemon bars, but I brought them for you to eat, not to sell! Are you having money problems honey? Carl told me that your accounts got frozen,” Debbie said then leaned over to whisper to him, “You know I got me some money stashed in my mattress. You just tell me what you need,” she said.

Brian’s heart swelled. He leaned over and gave her a big kiss on the cheek, “I’m fine ma, really. I’m not broke by any means. And even if I was, I’d sell my kidney before I’d sell one of Charlie’s Lemon bars,” he said then threw his cigarette to the ground and stuffed the lemon bar, whole, into his mouth.

Debbie made a face, “I bet you’re a very popular guy with a talent like that,” she quipped.

Brian smiled around the mouth full of lemony sweetness, “It’s but one of my many talents, all, by the way, which are being wasted in this place,” he bemoaned once he swallowed the last remnants of the lemon bar.

Debbie looked around to make sure no one was within hearing distance before leaning over again, “Are you telling me you’re not getting any action in here?” she asked, her voice sounded truly concerned.

Brian busted out laughing, “You’re a freak Deb, you know that? I shudder to think what gay prison sex acts you imagine goes on in here,” he said.

Debbie sat back and made a ‘pssft’ing’ noise, “I don’t need to imagine nothin’. You forget I walked in on one of your orgies,” she said then shook as if to ward off a chill, “I still don’t know what those Siamese twins were doing to that tranny!” she said.

Brian laughed, “And you never will,” he said.

Debbie harrumphed. “Seriously, I can’t believe you aren’t fucking. Hell, you’ve been in here four days! I ain’t never known you to go that long. Not even when you had the flu. You showed up at Babylon with 102 fever and infected the whole place! I remember ‘cause tips were lousy for days after that. Everyone was out sick,” she said.

Brian smirked and took his sunglasses off, “Don’t exaggerate. I only infected half the club,” he said.

Debbie looked askew at him, “My God it’s true. You aren’t having sex! Is something wrong honey?” she asked.

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m fine! Jesus can’t I just decide not to have sex!” he said.

Debbie folded her arms across her chest, “Uh huh…you could. But why would you?” she asked truly perplexed.

Brian understood her confusion all too well. Hell, it confused the fuck out of him! It wasn’t like him at all to abstain from sex if he didn’t have too. He was in jail, surrounded by men, some of whom were most definitely fuckable, and he ‘chose’ not to have sex. It would be very odd and out of character for him normally, but that was before one particular hot blond came into his life.

He and Justin had been fucking raw for a while now. Neither wanted to go back to wearing condoms. Being inside his blond, feeling the heat of his walls squeeze down on his throbbing cock…well that was something he wasn’t willing to give up just for some cheap jailhouse fuck. However, that little revelation wasn’t something he wanted to share with his surrogate mother.

Brian turned from her and put his sunglasses back on, “Jesus Deb, leave it be, ok? I’m just not interested!” he said clearly agitated now.

Debbie ignored his growing ire and pressed on, “Brian Kinney not interested in fucking? Oh God, this is bad. Don’t eat anything they give you in here! I’ll bring all your food from now on. They must be drugging you! I heard of things like this you know. Guards drugging prisoners to keep them in line. This is an outrage! I’m telling Carl,” she sputtered out her outrage.

Brian cursed under his breath, “Deb, knock it off! I’m not being drugged! I’m not fucking because I choose not to! Fuck, my brother is under the control of my manipulative cunt of a mother, and Justin and Emmett are risking their necks trying to save him! Getting ass is the last thing on my mind right now!” he growled out in a barely restrained voice.

Debbie snorted, “Please! You forget I know you too long, and regrettably, too well. Getting ‘ass’, as you so eloquently put it, is NEVER far from your mind! The fucking world could be coming down around your head and if a hot guy walked by you’d fucked him first, then run for cover,” she said, “what aren’t you telling me?”

 

Brian shook his head in resignation. He never really could hide anything from her. She was right, out of everyone in his family, she knew him best. And right now her ‘mother’ instincts were telling her that he was full of shit.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” he asked.

“No fucking way asshole, now tell me what’s going on. Brian Kinney doesn’t ‘choose’ not to fuck unless he has a God damned good reason!” she said.

“I do have a good reason,” he said in a low voice.

She waited, not letting him off the hook. He turned to face her, grateful his eyes were covered by the sunglasses, and shrugged his shoulders awkwardly.

“You know why,” he said then reached over for a lollipop.

Debbie stared at him for a full minute before her mouth dropped open.

“Sunshine,” she said his name in an awe filled voice.

Brian unwrapped the lollipop and stuck it in his mouth and looked away.

 

For the first time in her life, Debbie was speechless.

The silence was freaking Brian out. He pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and turned back to her.

“Can we ‘not’ make a big deal out of this?” he asked.

Debbie shook herself to regain her composure and her voice,

“Not a big deal!? No, wait; let me explain to you what’s not a big deal. Landing on the moon – not a big deal. The collapse of the Soviet Union – not a big deal. The invention of the fucking wheel – not a big deal. Brian Kinney falling in love? Now ‘That’s’ a big fucking deal!” She said then slapped her knee and laughed, more like cackled, until she started coughing.

Brian swore viciously and got up to pat her on the back.

“You’re going to torture me with this aren’t you?” he said once she calmed down.

“Every chance I get!” she said as she wiped the tears of laughter from her face with the back of her hand.

Brian sighed dejectedly and sat down besides on her the bench, facing the other way.

Debbie turned sober eyes to him, “Well, well, Mr. ‘I don’t believe in love, I believe in fucking’. What ever happened to ‘Love is for dickless fags’, or my personal favorite - ‘Love is something straight people tell themselves they’re in so they can get laid then when they find out it was all based on lies to begin with they pay a shit load of money to P.I.’s and divorce lawyers to get them out of a commitment they should have never gotten into to begin with’?” she quoted him verbatim

Brian turned to look at her, “Wow Deb, I’m fucking impressed,” he said.

Debbie snorted, “Well you shouldn’t be. You’ve been sprouting that shit for so long it’s ingrained in my brain!”

Brian laughed, “Yeah, well I’m still not sure there’s not a lot of truth to that ‘shit’,” he said.

Debbie graced him with a warm look, “Seriously kiddo, I’m so happy for you,” she said

Brian curled his lip up in disgust, “Yeah, well I’m glad ‘your’ happy. This ‘relationship’ bullshit is just that. It’s like having my balls in a vice! Though sometimes I like having…” Brian trailed off but then pulled himself back when he saw the dour look on Debbie’s face.

“…The point is…that sweet innocent, albeit hot, looking blond is going to be the death of me! He’s stubborn, way too reckless, impulsive to a fault, and those are his good qualities! I’m fucking half out of my mind with worry for him most the time and the rest of the time I’m fucking half out of my mind wanting to fuck him,” he grumbled.

Debbie gave him a sympathetic smile and put her hand on his shoulder, “Yip kiddo. You’re definitely in love. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. I will however tell you that as much as a ‘pain in the balls’ it can be at times, you’ll never in your life know anything better. You’re one of the lucky ones Brian,” she said.

Brian graced her with one of his signature smirks, “Lucky huh? No lucky would be nailing that fine piece of ass who works in the infirmary,” he jested, way too uncomfortable with the lesbianic turn in their conversation.

Debbie glared at him.

“Listen kiddo. I like Justin, so don’t…fuck…this…up!” she said, wagging a pointed finger at him.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in.

“That would be hard to do considering I don’t even know where the fuck he is,” he said soberly. There was no hiding the deep concern in his voice.

Debbie sighed sympathetically, “I’m sure he’s fine. Try not to worry sweetie, no news is good news, right?” she said.

Brian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Maybe,” he said lifting his eyes to hers, “I just wish Lucas could get me out of here already.”

Debbie was about to respond when the guards’ voice interrupted her.

“Times up Kinney!” Ronnie called out as he approached them.

Debbie stood up and gathered her things, “Jesus Christ that mans’ got some pair on him!” she said.

Brian shot a brow up at her.

“Lungs asshole!” She said.

Brian laughed.

“Listen kiddo, you stay out of trouble and everything will be fine. You’ll be out soon. Carl and Lucas are working on it. You just got to hang on a little longer, and have a little faith,” she said then leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I expect to see you and Sunshine at the diner soon…real soon, ya hear?” she said tapping her finger on the wooden table and giving him a pointed look.

Brian smiled up at her, “Yeah I hear,” he said.

Debbie nodded her head, “Good,” she said, “I’m tired of seeing you in prison green. Just not your color sweetie,” she quipped then turned and walked away.

Ronnie nodded his head at her as she passed.

 

“Mmm…mmmm…mmmm…That’s one fine looking woman,” he said taking a seat next to Brian.

Brian let out a harsh laugh, “Don’t let Carl hear you say that,” he said.

“Say what?” Ronnie returned with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Brian was about to comment when his attention was drawn to the visitors’ gate. Ronnie followed his gaze.

“Well what do you know, your mouthpiece* is here. Maybe he has some good news,” Ronnie said.

Brian saw the look on Lucas’ face and hope sprang in his chest. He got up and started walking towards the gate.

“Hey Kinney! You forgot your lemon bars!” Ronnie called out.

Lucas looked up at that moment and caught Brian’s eye. He raised his hand, thumb up.

“Looks like it’s both our lucky day Ron. You get the lemon bars, and I’m getting the fuck out of here.” Brian said then walked off towards Lucas…and his freedom.

 

Part 2

 

Dr. Chavez rubbed his thumb across his jawbone, a clear indication that he’d run out of patience.

“Mrs. Kinney, you must listen to reason. It is too soon to be even thinking about releasing your son from the hospital. He’s still under sedation and hasn’t had a full evaluation yet,” he informed the woman in front of him for the tenth time.

Joan squared her shoulders, “ And I told you Dr. Chavez, that I’m taking my son home first thing in the morning. I should have never brought him here to begin with! You’re charging me an obscene amount of money for procedures he doesn’t need. I simply refuse to pay for services I can give him at home. I told you that I would hire a nurse, and Dr. Denno has assured you he would visit once a week to check on him. As for administering medications, physical therapy, and any other medical needs my son may need, my daughter and I can handle that,” she said.

Dr. Chavez looked over to the slightly pudgy woman standing to her mothers’ side with pleading eyes but knew she’d be no help. Though her heart was in the right place, where the mothers’ should be, she was clearly no match for the older woman. And their doctor, Matthew Denno, wasn’t much help either. He was unscrupulous at best, serving as Mrs. Kinney lapdog in order to remain on retainer. Denno knew how much money Mr. Kinney had, and who was in control of it. His allegiance wasn’t with his patient. It was with his patients’ trust fund.

Chavez was the hospitals’ administrator and he knew that legally he could pursue this further, but to be honest, it would please him to no end to be rid of this vile woman. She refused treatments that her son could benefit from claiming they were ‘too’ expensive, even though this was a county hospital and the costs were considerably low. And she had him moved to a one of the rooms near the morgue that was half the cost of their regular rooms. Only state patients were placed there.

Because of her frugality, they weren’t allowed to give her son the help he needed. There really was no reason to keep him. However, Chavez feared how the patient would fare should he be taken out of the hospital setting…an environment which has been his home since he was a mere child, and put into a private residence with no immediate access to medical treatment.

Liam Kinney needed constant physical and speech therapy, was prone to seizures and recently experienced a traumatic emotional event. It was his emotional breakdown in the courtroom that landed him in his hospital to begin with four days ago. And though he was improved, he was still in danger of having another breakdown, or seizure should he be moved again so soon.

Dr. Chavez simply could not release Liam so soon in good conscious. He made one last attempt to reason with his mother.

“I implore you Mrs. Kinney, at least let him stay until the end of the week. Just so we can wean him off the IV sedatives and onto oral ones we can give you to administer, appropriately, at home,” he suggested.

Joan shot him a disgusted look, “He doesn’t need to be weaned. Dr. Denno assured me that he can go directly onto oral sedatives,” she argued.

“Yes, at high dosages! You’re not qualified to give him high dosages of any kind of medication!” Chavez protested.

“No, but Dr. Denno is. And he’s accompanying us home first thing tomorrow morning!” Joan said.

Dr. Chavez threw his hands up in frustration, “Fine. But you must sign a release form stating you are taking him out against my orders. We will not be held responsible if anything should happen to him once he leaves here,” he said.

“Mom, maybe we should….”

“Shut up Claire. This is none of your business,” Joan admonished then turned back to the doctor, “I’ll sign the papers,” she said.

Chavez nodded then turned and left the women, sickened by the both of them. He stopped by the nurses’ stations and instructed the Head Nurse to prepare the paperwork for Mrs. Kinney to sign then stormed off.

Joan snorted rudely, “Who does that man think he is?! That’s the problem with these doctors today. They think they’re Gods! I serve one Lord. ‘He’s’ provided for me all these years, ‘He’s’ all I need,” she said to no one in particular.

“Brian has been providing for you since Dad died mom, not God,” Claire said.

Joan’s head snapped around to her daughter, her eyes blazed with fury, “You’ll not speak that blasphemy to me girl! Your brother is the spawn of the devil! He owed me much more than the small pittance he threw my way for having to put up with his unclean self! It was Gods’ will that I now have my only son back and your deviant unholy brother is now sitting in jail with the rest of the sinners!” she spit out at Claire.

Claire cringed back at her mothers’ outburst. She’d been keeping her silence because she knew if she angered her she’d been ban from seeing Liam just like everyone else, but she couldn’t help that little slip. She’d had enough of her mothers’ ravings. Her biblical rants were getting worse and Claire truly feared for her sanity. She was an unstable woman with a lot of money and power in her hands. But more horrifying was that she had her sons’ life in her hands as well. Claire was petrified for her brother.

She needed to stay in Joan’s good graces in order to stay close to Liam. The ugly truth was now that Joan had Liam’s money, she had no need for her. Joan had transferred all of Liam’s trust into her name. Claire was astonished at the staggering amount in that fund. It was over seven hundred thousand dollars, and collecting interest every day. Joan could live very well AND give Liam all the medical care he needed but she was a ruthless greedy bitch and Claire, though suspecting it all these years, was now witnessing first hand the true extent of her mothers’ evil and was helpless to do anything about it. She only hoped Justin would stop her before she did any permanent damage.

Claire had been text-messaging Justin on Liam’s condition and her mothers’ plans. She had no idea how Justin was going to help, but he assured her that he would and for some reason she believed him. Maybe it was because the alternative was just too unbearable to even think of.

“I’m sorry Mom, you’re right. I’m just very upset; I don’t know what I’m saying. You should take Liam home. He’s your son after all!” Claire tried to back pedal.

 

Joan huffed, yet the crazed look left her eyes, “I think you need to come to church more,” she said.

Claire nodded her head vigorously, “Yes, you’re right of course Mother,” she said.

Joan seemed satisfied by her answer. “Mother knows best dear. Gods’ way is the only way. Now let’s go get something to eat then you can drop me off home. We have to be back here early tomorrow morning,” she said.

Claire smiled indulgently at her. She’d been driving her mother around for years. Joan had lost her license a long time ago because she had too many DWI’s.

“Yes mother. Do you want to stop in and say good night to Liam first?” Claire asked though she doubted her mother would say yes.

She hardly ever visited her son. She was too busy getting Liam’s trust fund transferred over to her name and buying new furniture for her house. Claire had been chauffeuring her around from bank to department store, and occasionally to the hospital for the past four days.

Joan made a face, “What for? He’s too drugged to notice if I’m there or not. Actually, that’s a blessing now that I think of it,” she said and a chill ran down Claire’s spine.

“I’ve never seen him so peaceful. Perhaps, with Dr. Denno’s help, we can keep him in that peaceful state at home. After all, it must be torturous on him, poor soul, to be awake and aware that he’s not normal, that he’ll never live a normal life. God wouldn’t want my son to suffer. Why else would he have given him back to me? No, I believe God wants Liam to live out the rest of his life in peace. Just like he is now,” she said.

Claire had to swallow the bile in her throat, “Whatever you feel is best mother,” she said.

Claire followed her mother out of the hospital. She helped her into the passenger side of her car then buckled herself in behind the drivers’ wheel. As she drove down the road she prayed - like she never prayed before - for the strength not to steer her car into a brick wall.

With her luck, she’d end up dead and Joan would live…

 

Part 3

 

“Oh good Lord would you look at what he’s wearing tonight,” the young blonde nurse whispered to her co-worker.

“Stop it Sarah, that’s mean. The poor mans’ been here all day,” her co-worker, Michelle, scolded lightly.

“Another double shift?” Sarah asked.

Michelle sighed, “Yeah. That makes three in a row. He’s a hard worker, I’ll give him that,” she said.

“He is a busy little bee isn’t he? The temps usually aren’t so dedicated. Harry could learn a thing or two from him. That man was always too busy hitting on me to get any work done!” Sarah said.

Harry was their regular orderly. He was currently out on personal leave due to some family emergency. The temp agency scrambled to get a replacement for him.

“That’s one problem I don’t think you’ll ever have with Patrick,” Michelle said.

“Do you think he’s gay?” Sarah asked.

“I try not to think about it at all. The thought of him having any kind of sex is too revolting for me to contemplate,” Michelle said making a face like she just sucked on a lemon.

Sarah put her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter as Patrick neared them, “And they say I’m the bad one?!” she whispered from behind her hand to Michelle.

Michelle elbowed Sarah and smiled at Patrick as he approached.

“Good evening Patrick! Doing another double shift tonight?” she asked.

“Yes Ma’am. The Hospital has been real short staffed this week. I don’t mind, I could use the extra money,” Patrick said.

“Hopefully to buy new pants,” Sarah mumbled under her breath.

Michelle coughed uneasily.

“Huh?” Patrick asked.

Michele cleared her throat, “Sarah was just admiring your pants Patrick. Is that Starbucks coffee?” she asked changing the subject.

 

“Yes ma’am. I brought enough for everyone,” he said placing the carrying tray he was holding onto the nurse’s station.

“I gave Fred his on the way in,” he said.

“You really like my pants Sarah?” Patrick asked easing back into the subject.

Sarah looked at Patrick’s orange and yellow-stripped pants. The poor man was plain looking at best, had a bum leg and an IQ bordering on retarded. The fact that his taste in clothes was for shit only added insult to injury. Fortunately the horrid pants were the only item of clothing visible. The required white lab coat he wore covered up whatever monstrosity he was wearing underneath. She imagined it to be some purplish mesh concoction.

“They are…original,” she remarked.

Patrick swept his long, dull brown hair that looked even greasier than usual, if that was possible, back from his forehead and flashed her a toothless grin. Though to be fair, not all of his teeth were missing - just the front two.

“Thanks!” Patrick said.

“And thank you for the coffee. It was very thoughtful,” Sarah said.

“Yes, it was Patrick. Fred needs all the help he can get to get through his shift,” Michelle said as she put her last file away for the night.

Fred was Mercy Hospitals’ night security guard.

“I made sure they put two extra shots of espresso in his coffee!” Patrick said.

“Well that should keep him awake at least for the next few hours,” she said.

Sarah laughed.

Michelle clocked out and grabbed her coat; “You two have a good night now. Oh, and Patrick keep an eye on 32. He’s been a little restless,” she said.

Patrick’s face went still and for a moment and Michelle thought she saw anger in his gaze, but it quickly changed back to that guileless look he always walked around with.

 

“Was his mother in there today?” Sarah asked pulling Michelle’s thoughts away from the orderly.

Michelle curled her lip up in disgust, “Yeah, for all of about five minutes! It would be nice if she was half as good a mother to him as she is at spending his money,” she huffed.

Sarah nodded her head in agreement, “She’s a piece of work that one. It’s a shame too. He’s really a sweet guy. He deserves better,” she said.

Michelle sighed deeply as she rounded the desk, “They all do honey. Don’t get too attached. I’ve been doing this job a lot longer than you. No matter how much you want to help them, there’s only so much you can do. 32 will be leaving here first thing in the morning facing God knows what fate with that poor excuse of a mother of his and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it,” she said.

“No mercy at Mercy huh?” Sarah said bitterly.

Michelle threw her a sad smile, “Don’t let it get you down sweetie, drink your coffee and by the time I’m gone you’ll forget all about 32. 38’s been having bad bouts of diarrhea all day. You and Patrick are going to be busy,” she said laughing as she left the unit.

“Bitch.” Sarah muttered under her breath. She then turned to Patrick.

“Well we better get to work. Looks like it’s going to be a long night,” she said.

“Yes Ma’am. I’ll get right on 38. You just stay and enjoy your coffee,” he said.

Sarah smiled her thanks at him as she picked up the steaming cup of coffee and brought it to her lips. Patrick may be hard on the eyes, she thought, but he sure made her life much easier at work. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep of the aromatic brew secretly wishing that Harry wouldn’t ever come back…

 

Patrick hobbled down the corridor towards 38. He shot a look over his shoulder at her before entering the room.

 

 _‘...That’s right nurse Sarah. You be a good girl and drink all your coffee while I take care of 38. And when I’m finished there, I promise to take care of 32 for you too. You’ll never have to worry about him again…’_ Patrick thought.

 

Nurse Michelle was right. There was nothing ‘they’ could do about 32’s fate. 32’s fate rested all in his hands.

 

Part 4

 

Justin finished cleaning up the mess in 38 as quickly as possible. No wonder, he thought sadly, it was so easy to bribe Harry into taking some personal leave to visit his mother in Florida. Being an orderly at Mercy hospital wasn’t exactly the glamorous of jobs. He’d been Harry’s replacement at Mercy for four days now and was shocked at the conditions of the hospital. They were under staffed and under funded. The work was grueling, the patients woefully under cared for and the staff was numb to the misery surrounding them. Justin wished he could do more, and made a mental note to try once this assignment was over.

Once Mr. Hutton – 38 – was all cleaned up Justin grabbed the soiled sheets and placed them in the bin outside the room before heading back down the corridor. He spied Sarah’s sleeping form as he rounded the corner of the nurses’ station. She was out cold. He was sure Fred was suffering the same fate. The sedative he put in their coffee was strong enough to knock out an elephant. He wasn’t taking any chances. They’d still be out by the time the morning shift came in. He didn’t care, by then he intended to be long gone.

He continued down the hall to Liam’s room and quietly slipped in, shutting the door behind him. He walked over to the bed and smiled down at the man in it.

“Liam, it’s me, Justin. Wake up,” he said.

Liam’s face softened in his sleep. Justin’s breath caught in his throat at the strong resemblance he had to Brian.

 

Justin hadn’t seen or talked to his lover in four days and he was feeling the ache of the separation. He knew Brian was doing fine in prison. Justin had his sources on the inside that assured him his brunette was not only coping well, but establishing a reputation with the other inmates. Justin wasn’t surprised. Brian was use to navigating through some pretty dangerous situations when on assignment. Being in prison would be a walk in the park for him. If it weren’t for the dire situation with his brother, Justin believed Brian would be amused with his current predicament. Unfortunately, his being detained while his brother’s fate lay in his mother’s hands was making him crazy.

Oddly though, Justin was glad Brian was currently detained. He would freak if he saw the condition his brother was living in. He knew Brian was going to make Joan pay big time for doing this to his brother.

Justin glanced around the dingy room. The lighting was horrid, the space small and cramped and the stench of urine permeated through the walls. Mercy hospital relied heavily on donations to operate. Patients were afforded the barest of necessities. The only non-essential item provided was the large crucifix that hung over every bed in every room. It was down right gothic in Justin’s opinion. He was sure once Brian heard about the deplorable conditions here he’d want to make an endowment. Justin was just starting to understand the extent of his lovers’ wealth – and generosity. Though it wasn’t a surprise to him. Brian was a driven man. Driven by his desire to take care of those he loved. He’d move heaven and earth for his family and Justin was humbled, and honored to be part of that elite group.

 

He looked back at Liam, “Hey sleepy head time to wake up,” he said softly brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead.

Liam’s eyes fluttered open and Justin could see the cobwebs of sleep clearing from his eyes.

“Hey,” Justin said grabbing his hand and smiling at him.

“Y-you l-look t-terrible,” Liam said.

Justin looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall on the opposite side of the room. He grimaced at his image and briefly wondered how Brian would react to his appearance - no doubt much as he reacted to his last transformation he thought wryly. Emmett had expertly succeeded in turning him into an aging, slightly crippled, homely looking orderly. Justin had to hand it to him. The man was truly a make up artist extraordinaire. This cover rivaled that of his ‘tattooed-covered, teen skin head’ disguise he donned on his last assignment. Justin didn’t know which was more believable. Both were equally convincing – and revolting.

Justin looked back down at Liam and laughed,

“Blame Emmett. Though you have to admit, it’s a good cover,” he said.

Liam looked confused.

“I’m pretending to be an orderly here,” Justin explained.

“Wh-where a-am I-I?” he asked groggily.

“You’re at Mercy hospital. Joan brought you here but Brian wants you out,” he said.

Liam grew agitated at the mention of his brothers’ name.

“Wh-where’s B-brian?” he asked frantically.

Justin reached out and grabbed onto his shoulders, “He’s fine Liam. I won’t lie to you, the judge threw him in jail for contempt but Lucas is working on getting him released. Besides, you know your brother, he’s not there a week and he’s already running the place,” he said with a hint of mirth. He didn’t want Liam worrying about Brian. Justin was confident Lucas would get Brian out of jail soon. He had to focus on getting Liam out of the hospital right now.

Liam made a snorting sound, “H-he wo-would b-be,,” he said smiling back at Justin.

“Would we expect less?” he said tilting his head and winking at Liam. Liam smiled.

“Brian is more worried about you. He’ll have my balls, and not in a positive life affirming way, if I don’t get you out of here. That’s why I’m wearing this get-up, planning your escape,” Justin said.

Liam pushed himself up with Justin’s help.

“Es-escape?” Liam asked.

Justin bit his bottom lip worriedly, “If that’s what you want,” he said.

Regardless of what Brian wanted, Justin had to have Liam’s consent. He was banking on the assumption that Liam wanted out of Joan’s clutches as much as his brother did.

“I-I wa-wa-want t-to g-go h-home,” he said.

“That’s the plan. But first we have to get you out of here, and into a safe house I secured for us. Then we’ll work on getting you back in Brentwood,” Justin said.

Liam struggled to sit up straighter, “L-lets g-g-go n-now,” he said determination strong in his voice.

Justin smiled at his tenacity. He was definitely a Kinney he thought.

“Easy. We have time. No one will be coming in here until morning. Sit back and get your bearings straight,” Justin said.

Liam nodded his head and took a few deep breaths. Justin gave him a few minutes to recoup.

“Liam, I’m going to take this IV out of your arm now, ok?” Justin asked.

Liam looked over at his arm surprised to see he was hooked up. A look of panic crossed his face.

“It’s just a sedative they’ve been giving you and its run out. Now that you’re up I’m going to take it out,” he said then proceeded to pull the needle from Liam’s arm, as Anne instructed him to, and place a clean bandage over the tiny wound. He then pushed the IV stand out of the way and pulled a wheelchair up to the side of the bed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“F-f-fine.” Liam said.

“Good enough to get the hell out of here?” Justin asked.

Liam swung his legs over the side of the bed. The movement made him dizzy.

“Breathe Liam, breathe. It will take a little time for the affects of the sedative to wear off. I’m going to take you out of here in this wheel chair. Emmett is out back in a van waiting for us and Anne is waiting for you at the house. We got it all fixed up just like your room at Brentwood,” Justin explained.

“A-anne?” Liam asked with renewed energy.

Justin laughed, “Yes, Anne,” he said shaking his head, “You and your brother have a lot in common. He could be in the middle of a shit storm yet get hard if a hot number walked by him,” he said.

Liam cocked a questioning brow at him and Justin shuddered inwardly at how much he resembled Brian in that instant.

“You know I’m right so don’t deny it. We’re in the middle of your escape and your mind is on a beautiful woman,” Justin said.

Liam graced him with a guilty, sexy smirk.

“It’s a good thing you’re not gay. You’d give your brother some serious competition,” Justin exclaimed.

Liam laughed.

“Ok stud, let’s get you to Anne before you burst,” he said.

Liam eased out of the bed with Justin’s help, and into the wheelchair. Once he was seated, Justin leaned over and rested his hands on the chair’s arms - his look conveyed the seriousness of his next words.

“Listen to me Liam. I don’t expect anything to going wrong, but there is always the possibility we might run into trouble,” Justin said.

“T-they c-c-can’t st-st-stop m-me f-f-from le-le-leaving,” Liam said forcefully.

“They wont, I promise. I just want you to be prepared if…if it gets a little rough. I won’t let anything happen to you, but I might have to hurt someone,” Justin said.

His voice was filled with remorse. He hated that he might have to expose Liam to violence. It was the last thing he wanted to do but his first priority was getting him out of here and away from Joan.

Liam grabbed Justin’s wrist, “I-t’s o-k-kay. I-I c-c-can h-handle i-it,” he said.

Justin smiled reassuringly at him and patted his hand, “Ok then, let’s get this show on the road,” he said.

\- - - - -

Fortunately they made it down the elevator to the laundry room, and out the back loading dock door to where Emmett was waiting without encountering one living soul. The hospital was pathetically understaffed. Fred was the only night security person for the whole building, and he was currently napping…courtesy of one very heavily drug laced cup of Starbucks coffee.

Emmett came out from the drivers’ side as soon as he saw them exit the building.

“Oh sweetie, you poor thing! Don’t you worry baby, we’re going to take you away from this nasty place!” Emmett cried out as he leaned over and hugged Liam.

Justin rolled his eyes, “Really Em? Can we save the dramatics until we’re safely away from here?” he asked sarcastically.

Emmett stuck his tongue out at him. He knew Justin was nervous about this assignment, more so than any other he’d been on. Though this one was probably was the least dangerous assignment he’s ever been on, it was the most important to him.

“No, I can’t. Dramatics is what I do best. Besides, we’re safe. I blacked out all the security cameras and I haven’t seen anyone in the last hour. When the day shift leaves, it’s like morgue around here!” he said.

“I know, but I don’t want take any chances. Get the ramp out of the back of the van,” Justin said.

Liam shook his head, “Nnn..no I wa..walk,” he said as he pushed himself up from the wheel chair.

Emmett and Justin flanked his sides to support him.

“Ok. Just take it easy,” Justin said.

Together they helped Liam walk over to the passenger side, and get into the van. Justin then hopped in the back seat while Emmett ran around to the drivers’ side.

“Hit it!” Justin yelled as soon as Emmett was behind the wheel.

Twenty minutes later they drove up the long driveway to the secluded cabin Justin had secured for them. It was a hunting cabin, owned by a buddy of his from NYPD. It was the perfect safe house. No one knew it existed, and his buddy hadn’t used it in years. Anne had managed to get all Liam’s belongings out of Brentwood’s storage. Joan never bothered to retrieve her sons’ personal belongings. She and Emmett fixed Liam’s bedroom up to look just like his room at Brentwood.

Emmett parked the van behind the cabin and the three of them entered through the back. Anne was waiting for them.

“Liam!” She exclaimed breathlessly as she ran over to him.

Justin’s heart clenched at the pure look of joy in Liam’s face upon seeing Anne. He watched as he struggled to stand taller, and hold his arms out to receive her.  
Emmett sniffled besides him.

“Love cures all,” he said with dramatic flair.

Justin let out, for the first time in days, a relieved breath.

“That and a good plan,” he replied then turned to leave the cabin.

“Sweetie, were are you going?” Emmett called out.

“You and Anne get Liam settled. I’ll be back in a few. It’s time to make the call,” Justin said.

Emmett bit his bottom lip and nodded his head. Liam’s future lay in that phone call. He could only hope and pray that they all came out of this mess in one piece. But he was willing to fall on the proverbial sword if need be, as he knew Justin was, if it meant that Liam would finally be free of that monster of a mother of his.

He waited until the door closed behind Justin before he turned, smile plastered on his face, towards Liam and Anne.

“Liam you are sooo going to love your room!” He said.

 

Part 5

 

 _….The next morning…._

 

“You did this!” Joan snarled angrily at Brian the moment he walked into the Carl’s office.

“Good morning Mother, it’s nice to see you to,” Brian spat out sarcastically.

“Ok you two cut it out, I don’t need a family feud erupting in my station. We got enough trouble on our hands,” Carl said.

Brian waltzed over to the ratted couch he’d sat on one too many times, and lowered him self into it.

“And pray tell what is this ‘trouble’ you felt was so important that you had to wake me up at this ungodly hour and ‘demand’ my presence here. I just got out of prison, what am I being accused of now?” Brian asked.

Carl scrubbed the back of his neck with his beefy hands – a clear indication he was uncomfortable with what he was about to say.

“Joan got a phone call around 3 a.m. this morning. Brian…someone kidnapped your brother from Mercy hospital last night,” he said.

Brian’s face registered his shock, and panic – a feat he was proud he could accomplish in his current state.

He was exhausted…his nerves shot. He never felt more ‘trapped’ then he did when Lucas got him released from prison yesterday. He spent the night literally pacing the floors of his loft waiting for his blond to call him. Oddly, he thought, he had more control while in prison then he did now. His hands were tied, and he did NOT like having his hands tied. He had intended to track Justin down the moment he got sprung but that plan was thwarted when Shane handed him the note Justin left before he disappeared.

 

 _‘….Brian, if you’re reading this I’m going to assume you’re out of prison. I told Shane not to pass you any notes while you were there. Though I heard you pretty much reigned supreme God over there – not surprisingly – some of those hacks are pricks and I didn’t want to risk them frisking Shane and finding this note._

 _Liam is fine. He’s at Mercy Hospital. Emmett and I have a plan to get him out of there. I’m asking you to trust me, and NOT call or try to contact Emmett or me. The plan will unfold soon enough and I’m confident you’ll know what to do when the time comes._

 _I know you must be freaking out, but please try not to do anything impulsive – and yes, I get the irony of me asking you not to be impulsive. Just wait for my phone call and know Emmett and I have everything under control._

 _Justin_

 _PS – you’ll thank me properly when I get back for not ending this with some lesbianic sentiment like “I miss you” or “Love (and yes, I just heard you snort) Justin” You sooo owe me…..’_

 

Brian had read that note so many times he had memorized every word. He trusted Justin, completely, but that still didn’t stop him from worrying. All he could do was wait for Justin’s phone call. He could only assume the call from the ‘kidnapper’ was that call he’d been waiting for. Now it was his turn play his part….

He shot up from his position on the couch and confronted his mother.

“How the fuck did this happened!? What did they say? Did you speak to Liam?” he asked, his tone accusing yet laced with fear and concern.

 _... ‘Damn I should win an academy award…’_ he thought.

Joan spat out an expletive that was totally out of character for a Christian woman, “Don’t act like this isn’t your doing!” she said.

Brian snorted, “Are you accusing ME of kidnapping my own brother?” he asked incredulously.

“She suggested as much but I assured her it couldn’t have been you. This was an inside job. We got statements from the staff. Apparently there was a temp working last night who disappeared with your brother. We checked out the address he had on his application, which of course, was bogus. We got no leads right now that’s why I called you in. We all know were you were when your brother got kidnapped, but can you tell me where that blond boyfriend of yours is?” he asked.

Brian’s heart skipped a beat. ‘Fuck!’ This was exactly what he was afraid of. Though his first instinct was relief that Liam was away from his cunt of a mother, his concern now was for his blond.

“First, just because I fuck him on a regular basis, doesn’t make him my boyfriend,” Brian quipped.

Joan made a face, “Must you be so vulgar?!” she asked.

Brian cast her a snide look, “Actually, yes I do,” he said then turned back to Carl.

“You seriously can’t believe Justin had anything to do with this! What did the kidnapper say? What does Mercy say? Don’t they have security? How did this guy get past HR?” Brian asked turning the table, and fault, back onto the hospital.

“According to your mother, the person who called her said that they had Liam, and that they wanted a million dollars for his release. They said they would call her back with further instructions. We’ve got all her incoming calls forwarded to our lines here. That’s why I called you in. I want you here when they call again. As for Mercy, well let’s just say their security isn’t up to par. It’s a county hospital in a bad neighborhood with very little funding,” Carl explained.

Brian turned furious eyes on Joan, “How dare you put my brother in place like that! YOU HAD THE MONEY TO PLACE HIM IN THE BEST FACILITY!” He screamed at her.

Carl had to step in between them, “Brian calm down! What’s done is done. Let’s concentrate on getting Liam back,” he said.

Seeing the fury in Brian’s eyes convinced him that he had nothing to do with his brother’s kidnapping. Which meant, ‘if’ Justin was involved, Kinney was clueless to it.

“Listen, I’m not accusing Justin, but I need to know where he is. Everyone is a suspect right now,” he said looking back at Joan.

The implication of his look was not lost on Joan.

She put her hand to her throat, “What are you suggesting!” she demanded, “What possible motive would I have to kidnap my own son when I already have custody of him! He’s the one you should be accusing! He lost custody and the trust fund!” Joan said pointing a finger at Brian.

“Oh right, because I need my brothers’ money to support my Godless lifestyle!” Brian spat out sarcastically.

Joan gave him a look that said she very much believed that to be the case.

Brian let out a frustrated sound and threw his hands up, “Funny how when I had custody Liam was safe, living in a secure facility getting the best treatment! The moment you get custody of him he gets kidnapped! Coincidence?” Brian huffed out a bitter laugh at this point, “I doubt it. What did you do Joan? Hire someone to stage this kidnapping so you can get more money from me? I know what’s in Liam’s trust fund and it’s a few hundred thousand shy of a million,” he said.

Joan gasped in outrage, “I’ll not stand here and listen to your vile accusations! It’s more likely ‘YOU’ kidnapped him because you couldn’t stand the fact that he’s with me now! You’ve always been unnaturally attached to your brother,” she said, an evil glint in her eyes, “Though I’m not surprised. God only knows what perverted thoughts go on in your sick mind! You live in sin, and I’ll NOT have you drag my son to Hell with you!” she screeched.

If Brian’s first concern wasn’t for his brother, he swore he’d strangle the bitch right then and there. Carl stepped in to intercede. He didn’t have much experience with Brian’s birth mother, and he was glad now for that. She was a vicious bitch. What mother spoke like that to their own son? Well he wasn’t having any of it. He was about to put her in her place.

 

“No one is making any accusations here Mrs. Kinney, but for now, I have to consider everyone as a person of interest. Yes, you have custody, and control of Liam’s trust fund. But that fund would last longer if you didn’t have to spend it on your son’s medical needs. The fact that you placed him in such a low rate facility tells me you don’t like spending ‘his’ money on his medical needs,” Carl said.

Joan gasped, “This is INSANE! I was supposed to be taking him home this morning! I had no intention of leaving him in that hospital! I even refurnished the whole house for his arrival! He has his own room and Dr. Denno was to come check on him once a week! Ask Claire! She was with me the whole time,” Joan defended herself.

“We did call Claire and she told us she dropped you off last night at your house and hasn’t heard from you since. She also told us you spent most of the past week spending your son’s money, and very little time visiting him,” Carl said.

Joan fixed him with a steel gaze, “Detective Horvath, I suggest you stop with these ridiculous theories and concentrate on finding the ‘real’ kidnappers!” She said, her spine stiff.

“I’m doing just that Ma’am. Like I said, until we find Liam, everyone is a suspect. Which brings me back to your friend,” Carl said turning back to Brian.

“Justin is visiting his Nana in New York. She had a heart scare, but she’s fine,” he said coming up with the lie on the spot. He remembered Justin telling him that his grandmother recently had a minor heart attack.

Carl gave him a dubious look, “Uh huh. So he just took off while you were in prison?” he asked suspiciously.

Brian rolled his eyes, “Oh for fuck sakes,” he said then pulled out his cell. He was gambling that his blond would know what he was doing.

“Unlike you, Justin knows I’m a big boy. And Lucas was working on getting me out. I think his grandmother having a heart attack trumps my little stint in the pen! I told him to go, that I’d be fine,” Brian said as he started to dial Justin’s number.

He put the phone to his ear and waited for his blond to answer, praying he’d follow his lead.

“He’s been in touch with the family, but hey, you can talk to him yourself,” Brian said to Carl as the phone rang for the fourth time.

 

 _… ‘Come on Sunshine, pick up...’_ he silently prayed.

 

On the fifth ring, Justin picked up.

 

Justin saw the incoming number flash on his cell phone. He took a deep breath and answered it,

“Hey”

“You know how fucking sexy you sound?” Brian asked, his stomach did a little flip from nerves…and from hearing his blonds’ voice after not hearing it for almost a week.

Justin was at first taken back by Brian’s playful banter, but quickly caught on that he wasn’t alone.

“Ah…someone is in the mood for phone sex,” he quipped back.

“I’d rather have the real thing. I’ve been in jail for four days you know. I’ve been woefully deprived. There wasn’t one fuckable piece of ass in the whole joint. Now kiss your Nana’s boo boo and get your hot ass back home. Oh, and by the way, you didn’t happen to kidnap my brother did you? Cause Horvath’s here thinks you might have him. Really Sunshine, if you needed money, you know I’m loaded...” he said.

Justin actually laughed, “Horvath has an over active imagination, but seriously, what the fuck??!! Please tell me you’re kidding,” he said.

Carl, who was close enough to hear everything Justin was saying on the other end leaned in closer.

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “No I’m not. Liam is apparently missing and Joan ‘claims’ she got a phone call at 3 a.m. from some kidnapper,” he said.

Justin gasped on the other end.

 

 _‘….You should get that academy award….,’_ Brian thought.

 

“You’re fucking shitting me! Brian how the fuck can you be so calm!” Justin said.

“I’m calm because I don’t believe for a second that there is any kidnapper. I’d bet my ass – which you know I value – that she arranged this just to extort more money from me,” he said.

Justin smiled on the other end. His lover was a clever duckie he thought. Put the blame at Joan’s feet.

“Well I’m catching the next flight back. I can’t believe this is happening! I mean no one was happy Joan got custody but we all thought she’d take care of him! Kidnapped!?,” Justin paused for effect here and took a deep breath.

“Ok, let’s try to remain calm. I’m sure Liam’s fine. For all of Joan’s fault, I don’t think she’d actually hurt her own son,” he said hoping Brian would read between the lines and hear that his brother was with him, and fine.

Brian looked over at Joan, “Yeah, I hope you’re right,” he said.

Carl grabbed the phone from Brian.

“Justin, Carl here. Brian say’s you’re visiting your Nana, may I talk to her?” he asked.

Brian’s heart pounded in his chest from pure panic.

“Really Carl, is that necessary! The woman just got out of the hospital,” he said.

“Sure Carl, hold on,” Justin said.

Carl looked over at Brian, “She’s obviously well enough to talk on the phone,” he said.

It took all of Brian’s skill not to look shocked at that revelation. He briefly wondered if Emmett was going to fake an old woman’s voice. Emmett was good, but not that good. Carl knew Emmett for years, and very well. They often worked together. He would know Emmett’s voice, disguised or not, in an instant.

 

“Hello?” A clear, distinctively woman’s voice came across the phone.

“I’m sorry Ma’am, I didn’t get your name, I’m detective Horvath,” Carl said.

Brian wondered who the fuck was with Justin!

“You may call me Abigail. Is there something wrong detective? Why are you calling my grandson? He doesn’t work for the New York Police Department anymore you know,” she said.

“Yes, Ma’am, I do know. I’m not NYPD, I from the Pittsburgh Police department,” he said.

“Pittsburgh Police?! Oh my. Justin, I thought you said you were working for a private detective agency? Why is Pittsburgh Police calling me? You promised your mother and I that you were done with police work!” she said, obviously speaking to her grandson now.

“Ma’am, please, Justin is not working for us. I just called to confirm when he arrived at your place,” he said.

‘Abigail’ got back on the phone, “Why he’s been here since last Tuesday detective,” she said.

Carl grimaced, “And he hasn’t left since?” he asked.

“Just to do a little shopping for me,” ‘Abigail’ answered.

Carl nodded his head towards’ Brian indicating he was satisfied with Justin’s alibi. Brian breathed in a sigh of relief.

“Thank you Ma’am. That’s all I needed to know. I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’m going to put Mr. Kinney back on the phone now,” Carl said.

“You’re quite welcomed detective. And thank you. I am feeling much better. I do hope you don’t take my objections to my grandson working for your department as a slur. Police work is a fine noble profession! Just not for my grandbaby,” she said.

“Yes Ma’am. Understood, and no offense taken,” Carl said then handed the phone back to Brian.

Brian took the phone and placed it to his ear, “Justin?”

“Yeah, I’m back on. I’ll see you tonight. I just booked a flight to Pittsburgh,” he said. “And Bri, try not to worry. We’ll find Liam,” he said.

“Yeah. Well then…. Later,” Brian said for lack of anything else to say. He was still befuddled as to who ‘Abigail’ was.

“Later”, Justin said then hung up the phone.

 

He turned to Anne, “Nice Job. If you ever decide to give up nursing, I’m sure Brian would hire you,” he said.

Anne looked over at Liam, who was looking at her with such pride, and gratitude in his eyes it melted her heart.

“No thanks,” she said, “Nursing fits me just fine...”

 

*Definitions:

· Kite - A request for services within the joint, i.e. request for dental or medical services  
· Bull – Prison Administrator  
· Jacket - Prison file containing all information on a prisoner  
· Jolt – Long prison sentence  
· Mouthpiece – Lawyer  
· Hack – Prison Guard  
· Perps – Perpetrators  
· Luggar – Person who smuggles in contrabands  
· Hole – Solitary confinement


	24. Chapter 24

“Oh Liam! I really wish you would stop this madness!” Anne frantically pleaded as she followed Liam down the trestle. She couldn’t believe the man was actually crawling down the side of the house, successfully, considering his physical limitations. He must be operating on pure adrenalin, she surmised.

“Y-you d-d didn’t h-h-have t-to f-f-follow m-me,” Liam said as he carefully placed his foot on the bottom rung of the makeshift ladder, grateful his muscles were cooperating with him.

Anne made an exasperated noise, “You are by far the most stubborn man I know! You really didn’t think I’d let you venture on in this insanity alone?!” She asked.

Liam hopped down from the trestle and turned to give Anne his hand.

“Y-you c-c-could h-h-have t-t-told Em-emmet, ” he said smiling up at her.

Anne took his offered hand and stepped down from the rickety structure.

“I’m no rat,” she said proudly.

Liam pulled her in for a hug. It was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Anne hugged him back for a moment before releasing him.

“Well now that we’ve managed to make it down in one piece, what’s your plan?” she asked looking around the darken property.

When she had entered Liam’s bedroom earlier to check on him she caught him trying to climb out the window onto the trestle that crept up the side of the cabin. She attempted to stop him but there was no deterring him from his mission. Though she still wasn’t sure exactly what that mission was!   
It was two in the morning. Justin had stepped out about an hour ago and Emmett was asleep. Anne felt guilty. She told Emmett to get some rest while she kept an eye on Liam. She didn’t think he’d appreciate her method of ‘keeping an eye’ on him. Apparently not only had she let the patient escape, she was now aiding him.

 

Liam pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and dangled them in front of Anne. Anne’s jaw dropped.

“Are those the keys to the van?” she asked.

Liam just smiled in response.

There were two vehicles at the cabin. The one Anne drove up in and the van Justin and Emmett used for the ‘kidnapping’. Justin took her car out tonight opting to leave the van behind in case it got marked by some witness to their ‘kidnapping’.

Anne folded her arms over her chest in a defiant gesture.

“I hope you don’t think “I’m” going to drive!” she said.

“N-n-no. I-I’ll d-d-drive,” he said then turned to leave.

There was no way Anne was going to let him go off on his own. Not to mention the fact the man has never driven a car in his life! She was about to voice her objections when she noticed him favoring his left leg. The climb down must have been too much for his muscles. She worried he would start cramping.

“Liam, please, you must consider what you’re doing! This is too much stress for you! Justin is going to be furious, and Emmett is going to freak! What do you expect to accomplish with this ‘escape’ of yours anyway?” she asked.

Anne was starting to get frantic at this point. When she had entered Liam’s bedroom earlier to check on him she caught him trying to climb out the window onto the trestle that crept up the side of the cabin. She attempted to stop him but there was no deterring him from his mission. Though she still wasn’t sure exactly what that mission was!

Her first instinct was to go wake Emmett, but she was afraid if she left Liam for the minute or two it would take to get Emmett, he’d be halfway gone. And that was assuming he would make it down the rickety structure without breaking his neck! Her second instinct was to scream, hoping it would wake Emmett, but that too seemed like a bad idea since it would not only startle Liam, but perhaps also alert someone nearby. So she opted to try and reason with him. The result? She ended up climbing down the trestle with him to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt. Now that they were safely on the ground she had no idea where he wanted to go or what he intended to do.

Liam stopped and turned to look at her.

“I..I c-c-can’t l-let J-j-justin t-t-take t-the b-b-blame f-f-for t-this,” he said.

The walls in the cabin were surprisingly thin and Liam had heard Justin and Emmett discuss their plans. Justin was risking his career, his very freedom if he got caught, to save him from his mother. And though he knew Justin was fond of him, there was no doubt in Liam’s mind that he wasn’t doing this just for him…he was doing it for Brian, the man he loved, and Liam couldn’t let him make that sacrifice. He decided to play dumb to Justin’s plans, and formulated one of his own. The only fly in the ointment was that he didn’t expect Anne to walk in on his escape. And he sure as hell didn’t want her involved.

Anne saw the desperation in his eyes and her heart swelled. Liam didn’t want his brother’s lover getting into trouble because of him.

…And then, just like that, a light bulb went off in her head. She knew his plan. Liam was kidnapping himself from his kidnappers!

“Why you scheming, conniving, devil! So what are you going to do? Hold yourself ransom!?” she asked, hands on hips, eyes blazing fire at him.

Liam got aroused, a state he often found himself in around Anne, yet cursed his body for not being able to do what his heart and mind wanted him to.

“A-anne p-p-please, g-go b-b-back,” he pleaded.

 

Anne huffed out in frustration, “You are the most exasperating man!” she said, “But I’ll give you this much, you’re not boring,” she smiled at him then held out her hand for the keys.

Liam hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching hers.

“Don’t give me that look,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking and you can just forget about it! First, you can’t drive and though I know you’re smart enough to figure it out, it’s too dangerous. You have no choice but to take me with you. If you don’t I’ll just find a way to follow you. I’ll hitch hike if I have to and just pray some psycho doesn’t pick me up.” She said ending the last part with a dramatic sigh.

Liam’s eyes widened. “Y-you wo-wouldn’t!” he stammered, mortified by her words.

“Oh yes I would! Now, are you going to hand me over the keys, or do I need to start flashing some leg?” she asked cheekily.

Liam smiled appreciatively at her audacity. He really, really liked this woman.

“I-if I l-let y-you c-c-come, p-p-promise m-me i-if t-things g-go wr-wrong, y-you’ll s-say I f-forced y-you. I wo-won’t g-go t-to j-jail. T-they’ll j-just p-put m-me b-back in an in-in-st-stitution, wh-which is wh-where I wa-want t-to b-be a-any wa-way,” he said.

Anne laughed, “You’re right there. They would do that. And your brother would make sure you got put into some private ‘spa like’ facility. Though you know Liam, I’ve told you this before, maybe it’s time you tried living on the outside,” she said.

Though Denno had succeeded in convincing Liam that he needed to be institutionalized, Anne strongly disagreed. She broached the subject of Liam leaving the institution a few times in the past with him and he was responsive to the idea – that was until he discussed the possibility with Denno. Denno was adamant in his belief that Liam was nowhere near ready to live outside the institute. He made it clear to both Liam and his brother that Liam’s recovery depended on his being at Brentwood.

Anne kept her mouth shut after that because even though she disagreed with the doctor, she was very aware of the fact that it wasn’t her place. She doubted Mr. Kinney would have listened to her opinion on his brothers’ readiness to be on his own when in truth it was Dr. Denno who had gotten him to the point where he was well enough to be on his own. Whereas other doctors had failed, Denno managed to bring Liam from a near catatonic state to a functioning human being. The problem was, if Liam became ‘too’ functional, Denno feared he’d be out of a job. Mr. Kinney paid him very, very well to care for his brother. Denno’s greed, however, was what had done him in, in the end. Anne now felt that she could once again voice her opinion that Liam was indeed ready to venture out on his own. Of course, she had to admit to herself, part of her ‘opinion’ was selfish. She had deep affection for Liam. Emotions she wasn’t comfortable with because of her position as Liam’s caregiver. But if Liam wasn’t in her care anymore…things might be different. She didn’t know, but she’d like the opportunity to find out.

 

Liam’s first instinct was to refute Anne’s suggestion. But then, he remembered that his reluctance to move out of the institute was based on Dr. Denno’s medical assessment of his recovery needs. Now however, he’d have to rethink the situation. Perhaps it was time he got a second opinion. Part of him was scared to death to live on his own. Of course he wouldn’t be ‘totally’ on his own. He would need a home aide to begin with. But he’d be away from the controlled environment of Brentwood. It was scary, but it was a dream he’d had for so long… He couldn’t, he wouldn’t, let his fear override his hope.

“I-if t-they d-don’t t-throw m-me b-back in t-the l-loney b-bin, I j-just m-might d-do t-that!” Liam said.

Anne gave him the biggest smile that went straight to his heart.

She then grabbed the keys and helped Liam into the passenger side of the van before strapping herself in on the drivers’ side. She slid the key into the ignition then turned to look at him.

“Well then MacGyver, where to?” she asked.

 

Part 2

 

Brian pulled Justin down the dark alley and slammed him against the side of the brick building. He took a minute to study his face - drinking in the sight of him – before bringing his mouth down hard, crushing him with a bruising kiss.

Justin responded in kind. They hadn’t seen each other since the day in court when Brian got arrested, and Justin was left to rescue Liam from Joan’s clutches. Brian had texted him earlier that evening telling him to meet him downtown. The neighborhood was one of the worse in Pittsburgh – a perfect place for a clandestine rendezvous. No one came to this area after dark. Even the police stayed away from this part of town.

As soon as Justin rounded the corner of the street Brian told him to meet him on, he felt himself being yanked down an alley. He instinctively knew it was his lover and eagerly allowed himself to be dragged into the darkness. The constant stress they’ve both been under the past several days had built to frenzy and they were all too eager to release that stress on to each other – in the only way their bodies would allow them.

“Yesss...” Justin hissed as he felt Brian undo his belt and lower his pants.

Brian wrapped his hand around Justin’s cock and smiled against his blonds’ mouth when Justin immediately started pumping into his fist.

Not one to be out maneuvered, Justin lowered his hands and freed Brian’s cock from his pants. He then pulled his own cock from Brian’s grasp and pressed himself up against him.

Brian let out a guttural sound in the back of his throat as he felt his blonds’ throbbing cock make contact with his own and deepened their kiss. Justin wrapped his arms around the brunette and held him tight. They rubbed against each other, wantonly rotating their hips causing the most exquisite friction. Justin thought his heart was going to jump out of his throat it was beating so fast.

Brian grabbed a hold of Justin’s leg, behind his knee, and pulled it up, spreading him wide as he grinded against him.

They frantically humped each other like two teenagers in that back alley, grunting and groaning and rutting against each other in their fevered passion. All the fear and anxiety felt over the past several days disintegrated under the weight of their combined lust.

Justin’s body was the first to go rigid in prelude to his impending orgasm.

“Oh God!…yes…yes… fuck!” He cried out right before his shot his load all over Brian.

Brian moved his mouth to Justin’s neck and bit down sharply as his own orgasm ripped through him. His body convulsed violently before he finally slumped heavily onto Justin, spent, grateful that the building was there to hold them up. He let Justin’s leg slip to the ground and braced his hands against the brick wall on either side of his blonds’ head. Justin rested his forehead against Brian’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

“Jesus fuck Brian…what was that?” he panted.

Neither man had ever cum so quickly, and just from humping! It was unprecedented, but not unpleasant by any means.

Brian chuckled huskily and kissed Justin’s temple.

“That I suppose is what happens when we abstain from our natural urges,” he said.

Justin flinched a bit at Brian’s words. “Are you regretting being monogamous?” he asked.

Brian pulled back and looked into his blonds’ eyes.

“Not for one fucking minute. All I’ve been thinking about the past week is fucking you raw again,” Brian said.

Justin looked up at him with a wry, sexy smile, “You mean fucking me period,” he teased.

“I had plenty of opportunities to get laid in prison,” Brian huffed.

Justin’s smile waned, “I didn’t expect you to be celibate you know,” he said.

“Well I expected ‘you’ to be,” Brian countered with a raised brow. “Are you going to tell me you weren’t?” he asked.

Justin had to laugh at the outraged look on Brian’s face.

“Oh stop. When would I have the time! In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been too busy kidnapping your brother,” he said.

“Hmm, yes, as to that…. Mind telling me now that you’ve accomplished that feat, for which I am extremely grateful, what the fuck are you going to do now?” Brian said.

Brian was glad Justin managed to get his brother out of Mercy, and away from Joan, but not too happy with the hastiness of his plan. The concept was brilliant actually; it was the details that worried the fuck out of him.

“Oh ye of little faith!” Justin bemoaned somewhat dramatically, “Did you forget I got a 1600 on my SAT’s? My plan is so deviously brilliant it would put Machiavelli to shame!” He announced brazenly.

Brian narrowed his eyes, “Smart ass. Don’t tell me you’re going to ransom my brother back to me!”

Justin graced him with a devilish smile that went straight to Brian’s dick.

“No, not to you. To Joan. I’m going to ask for a ransom in the amount of, oh I don’t know, how does the exact sum in his trust fund sound?” Justin said.

Brian’s eyes lit up as the realization of Justin’s plan hit him.

“You’ve got the old hag boxed in, don’t you?” he said.

“Yip.” Justin confirmed. “If she refuses to pay the ransom, you step in and pay it and then that gives you ammunition to take her back to court and demand that guardianship of Liam be handed back to you. No Judge in their right mind would deny your request knowing that she refused to pay a ransom in exchange for her sons’ life. Especially since it was his own money she refused to part with. Of course when she loses guardianship, she’ll also lose control of the trust fund. On the other hand, if she does agree to pay the ransom, she’ll be left penniless with no means to support Liam. In that case you won’t have to take her to court; she’ll be begging you to take Liam back. Bottom line, she has no good choices here. If she doesn’t pay the ransom, she loses custody of Liam and his trust fund – if she does pay the ransom, she loses all his money and can’t afford to retain custody. In either case, it’s a win-win for Liam, and you,” Justin said laying out his plan.

The pride that shone in Brian’s eyes stole Justin’s breath away.

“Why Sunshine, how did you become so clever?” Brian asked grabbing his ass and pulling him against him.

Justin patted his right cheek, “I had a good teacher,” he said. “That being said, if you keep pressing up against me we’re going to make a bigger mess than the one we currently have,” he said as he reached down to his pants that were pooled around his ankles and pulled a bandana from his back pocket. He then stepped back from Brian and started cleaning the cum off of them.

Brian watched his lover wipe away the evidence of their combined passions, “I could get use to this you know,” he said.

“Yeah well don’t. As enjoyable as that was, I much prefer my dick up your ass…”

Brian threw him a look. Justin laughed at his expression.

“Ok, or your dick up my ass, then dry-humping,” he said.

“Hmmm….me too. But that’s not what I meant,” Brian said.

Justin paused in his task.

“What did you mean?” he asked.

“You…me…us,” Brian said in a voice so soft Justin thought he imagined it.

“Us?” he repeated, needing to hear Brian say it again.

Brian grabbed his wrist and pulled him to him.

“Yeah, us. I think it’s time you got rid of your apartment and move in with me,” he said.

Justin’s heart nearly busted with the emotions that poured through him at that simple statement. He gave Brian his biggest Sunshine smile to date.

“Why Mr. Kinney, if that isn’t the most roman…”

Brian stopped Justin from saying anything too lesbianic by grabbing his hand and putting it over his cock which instantly sprang to life in his blonds’ hands.

“You were saying?” he asked.

A shiver went through Justin’s body, “Ok, ok! Stop!! We’re naked in some dark ally in one of the worse parts of town. NOT an area mind you we want to be caught with our pants, literally, down,” Justin said yet made no attempt to push Brian away.

Brian chuckled and reluctantly released his blond.

“As much as I’d like to fuck you into the wall right now, I’m afraid you’re right. We need to get out of here. I have to get back soon. I told Horvath I was going to do a little investigating on my own but would be back for the next call,” he said as he and Justin pulled their pants up.

“I’m assuming Carl’s got all of Joan’s call rerouted to the police station,” Justin said as he fastened his belt and discarded the bandana.

“And all calls are being traced, so be careful when you call again. How are you disguising your voice?” Brian asked.

“Sound distortion primer. Emmett has a musician friend who lent it to him,” Justin said.

“Ah, yes, Emmett. The other half of Bonnie and Clyde,” Brian quipped.

Justin turned and headed back down the alley, “Yeah, well thank who-ever-the fuck for ‘Bonnie’. I couldn’t have pulled this off without him, and Anne,” he called over his shoulder.

Brian reached out and grabbed Justin’s arm, stopping him from moving forward. Justin looked back at him.

“How is he?” he asked.

Justin’s heart melted at the uncertainty in his lovers’ voice. He knew Brian didn’t want to ask for asking would indicate he didn’t trust that Justin would keep his brother comfortable and safe, but his instincts to protect his brother at all costs couldn’t be suppressed.

“He’s fine Bri, really,” Justin said turning to face him. “So much so that any trauma he may have experienced from the whole ordeal quickly vanished the moment he laid eyes on Anne. Everything but his dick was forgotten in that moment,” he said in a tone that sounded suspiciously like a boast.

Brian smiled, more like smirked, “He’s a Kinney; are we surprised?” he asked.

Justin laughed and shook his head.

“What’s more surprising is that you let Anne help you,” Brian said.

“As if I could stop her,” Justin snorted, “She isn’t a stupid woman Brian. She saw me at Mercy, right before they kicked her out, and told me that ‘we’ had to get him out of that place. Believe me, if I didn’t need her medical skills, I wouldn’t have involved her. As it turned out, she was very helpful. She instructed me on how to take the IV’s out of Liam. She also snuck back into Brentwood and got all of Liam’s personal belongings so we could set his room up just like it was back at Brentwood. He’s resting comfortably at a cabin I secured for us, healthy and safe with Anne and Emmett,” he said.

Brian nodded his head pleased with Justin’s report, and turned him around, “Well then, we better get going. I’m sure Horvath’s got an APB out on me by now,” he said.

They were both just exiting the alley when Justin’s phone rang, startling them.

Justin pulled his cell out from inside his jacket and looked up at Brian, “It’s Emmett,” he said flipping the phone open.

“What’s up?”

“Are you with Brian?” Emmett asked.

“Yes”.

“Fuck!”

“Emmett, stop queening out and just tell me what happened.”

Brian’s heart jumped in fear. He pulled the phone from Justin.

“Honeycutt what the fuck happened to my brother!” he shouted, instinctively knowing something was wrong.

 

“Oh God Brian I’m so sorry! I don’t know how it happened! Well actually I do, Anne had to have helped him….”

Brian growled into the phone, “I swear to God Honeycutt if you don’t stop babbling and just get to the point I’m going to have to kill you….now what the fuck happened to my brother!?” He demanded.

Justin stood next to him, rigid and furious. He should have never left the cottage, he berated himself.

“I’m umm… I’m not exactly sure. I mean, I’m sure he’s fine! The van is gone and Anne’s with him, but other than that….I have no idea where they are,” Emmett said.

 

“You fucking lost my brother!” Brian’s voice boomed through the alley.

Justin winced at the fear and anger in his voice.

“Brian calm down. We can’t lose our heads now, and we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves,” he tried to reason.

“Not exactly lost…” Emmett was still trying to explain on the other end of the phone.

Brian threw the phone at Justin and ran his hand through his hair.

“Em, what the fuck happened?” Justin asked having caught the cell.

“Justin I’m so sorry! Anne told me she would keep an eye on Liam while I got some rest. I thought it would be fine! I checked on Liam before I went to lie down. He was sleeping soundly! I wasn’t asleep an hour, I swear, when I got up to pee. I went to check on him again and he and Anne were gone. The van is gone too. If I had known that bitch was planning to…”

“Em, let’s not jump to conclusions. Do a sweep of the area. Brian and I will handle things on our end,” Justin said.

“What are you going to do?” Emmett asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Justin said then flipped the phone shut. He was trying hard not to panic in front of Brian. He needed to keep calm for both their sakes because he knew Brian was going to freak big time over this new development.

“Bri…”

“You were supposed to keep him safe!” Brian threw out the accusing words at Justin.

Justin physically cringed at the verbal blow.

“I know…” he said. It was all he could say. He failed Brian.

Brian crouched down and put his head in his hands. He took several deep calming breaths.

“Brian, please…you have to trust me when I say I KNOW Anne would not hurt Liam,” he said.

Brian looked up at him, “Trust you? Like you trusted Anne?!” he asked in a voice filled with cold steel.

It took all of Justin’s will not to recoil from Brian’s rage, “I do trust Anne. If she did take off with Liam she had to have good reason. I’m positive of that,” he said with complete resolve.

Brian studied him for a moment then cursed long and hard as he stood up.

“This is all my fault,” he said.

Justin snapped at Brian’s words, “Of course it’s your fault. Everything is, isn’t that right? It’s your fault that your mother’s a greedy conniving bitch. It’s your fault you lost custody. It’s your fault the doctor you hired to care for Liam turned out to be a shit. Tell me, do you blame yourself for Liam’s condition too? Your mother’s drinking? Your father’s abuse? Or maybe you just FUCKING BLAME YOURSELF FOR TRUSTING ME!” He screamed the last part.

 

“HEY! I’m the one who’s supposed to be queening out! Remember? Besides, I’m not as masochistic as you’re painting me. To clarify, I blame myself for letting Joan into Liam’s life at all! And yeah, I blame you for trusting anyone, including Emmett, with my brother….but…I would have done the same in your position. You have to understand Justin, I…I can’t think past keeping my brother safe,” Brian said.

Justin’s anger deflated a bit. Truth was he didn’t fault Brian for blaming him. Justin blamed himself. He knew with every instinct he possessed Anne was no danger to Liam. Something had to have happened to cause them to take off like they did.

Justin reached out and grabbed Brian’s upper arm, grateful he didn’t pull away.

“I know Bri, I know. We’ll find them. I promise. Emmett said the van was missing. I have the license plate, and I know you have friends at the police station that could help you locate the van without Carl’s knowledge,” Justin said trying to get Brian’s mind on track.

Brian nodded, “Yeah. I can call at least three cops I know who’ll track down the van under Carl’s radar. What’s the License plate…” Brian’s cell rang at that moment, interrupting his sentence.

He pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open.

“Kinney,”

“It’s Anne Mr. Kinney,” Anne’s voice sounded low in his ear.

“What the fuck did you do with my brother?!” Brian screeched into the phone.

Justin rolled his eyes and snatched the phone from Brian’s hands.

“Anne, what happened? How’s Liam?” he asked.

“Liam is fine. I’m sorry to have worried you and Mr. Kinney, but there really was no choice. I caught Liam climbing out the bedroom window. There was no stopping him Justin. It was either I go with him or risk exposing our location,” she said, her agitation heavy in her voice.

“Wait…what….he did what?!!” Justin stammered in disbelief at what Anne just told him.

“What???!!”” Brian demanded.

“Anne says she caught Liam climbing out the bedroom window,” he said.

Brian snorted, “Impossible! He’s not capable of such physical activity!” he insisted.

“Yeah, well tell Mr. Kinney he’s wrong! We were all wrong. I think Denno was medicating Liam to stunt his progress. Maybe he was overloading him with mineral supplements that cramped his muscles. God knows Denno had him on a boatload of vitamins! Or maybe he had him on some other medication I’m not aware of, that’s the only thing I can think of because not 24 hours after we got him out of the hospital and off all meds he’s been– different, more mobile. I’m telling you Justin, he was climbing down that trestle!” Anne insisted having heard Brian’s remark on the other end.

“Bri, Anne thinks Denno was drugging Liam to delay his progress,” Justin said.

Brian reached out and grabbed the phone from Justin, “Where is he?” he asked not wanting to listen to any of Anne’s bullshit. He just wanted to talk to his brother, to hear his voice and make sure he was all right.

Anne didn’t bother answering Brian, she just handed the phone to Liam.

“B-brian,” Liam said.

Brian closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as profound relief flooded him.

“Liam, are you ok?” he asked.

“I-I’m f-fine, B-brian. I k-k-kidnapped A-anne!” he said.

Brian’s eyes snapped open at that, “You WHAT?!” he asked.

“I k-k-kidnapped A-anne. I-it wa-was t-the o-only wa-way. I c-couldn’t l-let J-justin t-take t-the f-fall,” he said.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and bit it. He noticed a slight improvement in Liam’s stutter. Nothing anyone else would notice…but he noticed it. Maybe there was some truth to what Anne said.

“Liam, Justin wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. You should have trusted him.” Brian said.

“N-no. I c-c-couldn’t t-take t-the c-chance,” Liam insisted.

“Liam, what exactly do you think Justin would have gotten in trouble for?” Brian asked wondering how Liam knew what Justin was planning.

“I-I’m n-not st-st..upid B-brian!” Liam said.

Brian rolled his eyes, “I didn’t say you were stupid! Thick headed, stubborn, impulsive…wait, you sure you’re not related to Justin?!” he said trying to add some levity to the situation. The last thing he wanted was for his brother to get over stressed. ‘As if the shit going down now wasn’t enough to stress the fuck out of an elephant!’ he thought.

Liam laughed, “M-may b-be,” he said then added in a more sober tone, “H-he’s v-very b-brave,”..  
Brian smiled and looked over at his blond, “Yes he is. But you didn’t answer my question,” he said.

“I h-heard t-them t-talking. B-brian, J-justin c-could g-go t-to j-jail!” Liam said.

“Liam, do you think I’d ever let that happen?” Brian asked, his heart swelling at the knowledge that his brother was trying to protect his lover.

“N-no. Y-you wo-would h-have t-taken t-the f-fall f-for h-him,” Liam said.

Brian’s chest tightened. His brother was way too smart. It made Brian proud, and scared at the same time.

“Liam, have Anne take you back to the cabin. I promise everything will be fine. We have a plan,” Brian tried to reason with his brother.

“NO! I c-can’t. I wo-won’t. I-I’m g-goona c-cal m-mom,” he said.

“NO, Liam don’t you fucking dare! That’s the worst thing you can do! Her phone is tapped. The police would find you and put you back in Mercy, is that what you want?!” Brian shouted into the phone.

“B-brian st-stop! I t-told y-you I’m n-not st-stupid! I-I b-b-bought a p-p-prepaid c-cell p-phone. T-they c-can’t t-trace it. I-I kn-know n-not t-to t-talk t-too l-long” he said.

Brian put his hand over the mouthpiece so Liam wouldn’t hear him. “FUCK!” He screamed.

“What?!” Justin asked.

“He’s going to call Joan. He bought a prepaid cell so it can’t be traced,” Brian said.

Justin’s eyes widened.

“I think we should recruit him,” he said.

“Not funny Justin! He’s going to get himself in trouble!” Brian said.

“Brian, calm down. Ask him why he wants to call Joan. What is he going to say?”

Brian removed his hand from the mouthpiece of the cell, “Liam, what do you intend to tell Joan?” he asked.

“T-that s-some b-bad m-men h-have m-me a-and wa-want mo-money. It’s a-all a-about t-the mo-money, r-r-right B-brian?” he asked.

Brian’s heart broke into a million pieces. Liam knew his mother’s only care was for his money. No, his brother wasn’t stupid and that was a bad thing because ignorance was more often than not bliss. Unfortunately, his brother wasn’t granted that bliss. He was all too aware of the ugly truth that his mother didn’t give a shit about him, and yet, Brian could hear a small plea in his brothers’ voice asking him to prove him wrong, to deny the truth. And Brian couldn’t do that.

He didn’t know who he hated more right now- himself for having to snatch all hope from his brother that his mother might love him, or Joan for being the unfeeling cold bitch she was and not being able to love her own son.

“No Liam, it’s not about the money. It’s about ‘you’. Listen to me, are you listening?” Brian asked his brother.

“Y-yes”

“It’s not your fault, do you understand? Joan is sick Liam. She’s always been sick, as long as I can remember. It’s not that she doesn’t love you; it’s that she ‘can’t’. She’s too damaged. I don’t know, maybe it was all the alcohol she drank, or her own fucked up childhood, but whatever the reason, she’s not capable of loving you or me. She needs the money, and I promise you I won’t let her starve. I’m going to make sure she’s taken care of. But I cannot let her anywhere near you. She’s not capable of taking care of you. That’s why we’re doing this. We need to take the money away from her, and then she’ll be forced to give up her guardianship and you can petition the court again for emancipation,” Brian tried to explain.

Justin had moved to stand beside Brian and started rubbing his lower back affectionately as he listened to him attempt to explain their mother to his brother… he doubted he believed his own words. Brian was being generous to Joan for Liam’s sake. Sick his ass! The woman made conscious decisions that put all her children in jeopardy and when she did have the chance to do right by them, she put her own selfish needs first. He knew how hard it must be for Brian to make that promise to Liam. Unlike Joan, Brian put the needs of those he loved first…over his own needs. And right now, Liam needed to believe what Brian was telling him.

Liam listened to his brother’s explanation and knew he was full of shit. And that realization made him love his brother more, if that was even possible.

“So, Liam please have Anne drive you back to the cabin and Justin and I will take care of the rest. It won’t be long before I have you back at Brentwood,” he said.

“NO!” N-no B-br-brentwood! I’m g-getting m-my o-own p-p-place,” Liam said.

Brian’s mouth dropped open.

“What?” Justin asked.

“Liam wants to get his own place!” Brian said astonished by his brothers’ request. The more he talked to his brother, the more he was starting to believe that maybe Anne was right.

Justin’s eyes widened at that announcement, “Um okay. We can arrange that, right?” he asked.

Brian rolled his eyes, “Ok Liam, first things first. You go back to the cabin. Justin and I will handle the kidnapping. Once you’re back home, you can petition the court again for emancipation. I’m sure you’ll get it this time. Once that’s done, I promise to set you up in your own apartment with a full-time live-in nurse, ok?” he said.

“No,” Liam said. His voice was clear and resolute.

“No?” Brian repeated.

“N-no, I’m n-not g-going b-back t-to t-the ca-cabin. Y-yes t-to t-the a-a-apartment,” he said.

Brian made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat.

“You’re pissing me off Liam!” he said and was shocked at the angry tone to his voice. He NEVER spoke to his brother in that fashion.

“G-good,” Liam said.

Brian was at a lost as to what to do.

“B-brian. M-my l-life. M-y ki-ki-kidnapping. T-trust m-me,” Liam said.

 

“Liam, please don’t do this!” Brian said.

“D-don’t wo-worry. I’ve g-got a p-p-plan,” he said. “See y-you s-soon!”

The phone went dead. Brian threw it at Justin and cursed.

“He’s fucking doing this on his own! He’s executing his own kidnapping! Jesus Christ what the fuck am I going to do?” Brian said, panic thick in his voice.

“Brian, calm the fuck down! Panicking isn’t going to help! We need to get back to the station and wait and see what happens. When Liam makes his demands, we offer to go make the exchange. Horvath’s will no doubt send some uniforms with us, but we’ll handle them. We’ll make this work,” Justin tried to reassure Brian though he wasn’t reassured himself. Still, they had no choice but to follow Liam’s lead in this.

Brian growled out his consent. He didn’t like it one bit, but there was nothing else to do. Liam was calling all the shots.

“I swear to God when I get my hands on my brother….”

“You’ll hug him until he can’t breathe and thank God, Buddha, whoever the fuck, for bringing him back safe to you. Besides, you know deep down you’re proud of him right now. My God Brian, look where he was just a week ago, and where he is now! He’s taken charge of the situation. Like it or not, you gotta respect the balls that took,” Justin said.

Brian couldn’t help the slight smile that lit his face. Justin was right, he was damn proud of Liam, but right now he wasn’t able to bask in that pride. Right now, he was too mad at his brother was taking this risk! Still…

Justin watched Brian turned from him and walk out of the alley, a prideful smile playing on his lips.

‘Kinneys’, he thought. Gotta love them.

 

. . . . . .

 

Twenty minutes later they were walking into Horvath’s office.

“Well will you look at what the cat dragged in. Frick and Frack. How the fuck did you get here so fast from NYC Taylor?” Carl asked suspiciously.

“Fairy dust?” He said tongue in cheek.

Carl snarled.

“Ease the fuck up Carl. I sent my private jet to get him,” Brian said.

Justin stuck his tongue out at Carl as he lowered himself onto the ratty couch in the office.

“Any word on Liam?” Brian asked hoping he hadn’t missed Liam’s call.

“No, not yet. But they’ll call again soon, of that I’m sure. This guy, or guys, are professionals. They know the longer they wait, the hotter their trail,” Carl said.

“You got a lead?” Brian asked.

“I sent some men out to question everyone who resides within three miles of the hospital. We got lucky. A woman who lives nearby was walking her dog the night Liam was taken. She said she remembered seeing a white van parked in the loading dock. She thought it odd at the time since all deliveries were usually made during the day. She didn’t get a license plate though. It’s not much, but it’s something,” Carl said.

“Wow fucking Dick Tracy is really on to something. There’s only what? About ten thousand white vans in Pittsburgh? That really narrows it down,” Justin said.

“Curb your fucking dog Kinney before I throw him in a cell,” Carl said.

Justin sprung from the couch; Brian put himself between him and Carl.

“Justin, please. Stop baiting him. For one, it’s unproductive, and second, it’s too easy sport for you,” Brian said tongue in cheek.

Justin smiled up at him and sat back down.

Carl sighed deeply as he lowered his head to look at some files on his desk, “As if you don’t have enough trouble, you go and hook up with some mouthy blond,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, well you better get use to this particular mouthy blond. He’s family,” Brian said.

Carl’s head snapped up at that. Brian Kinney was VERY particular of who he called family. In all the time he’s known the man he’s never brought another man around the family. Yet these days you couldn’t look up and see one without the other right behind. He should have realized this ‘relationship’ was different.

“Well what do you know? Pigs really do fly,” Carl said, yet there was a smile on his face.

“Did he just call me a pig?” Justin asked narrowing his eyes.

Carl laughed.

Brian looked at Justin, “I think the good Detective is commenting on the fact that if I have a –God I hate this word - boyfriend, then pigs must indeed fly,” he explained.

Now Justin laughed and then Brian started laughing. And that’s how Joan found them when she returned to the office.

“I’m glad you all find the kidnapping of my son funny!” She said glaring at them all. She had left briefly to go to the bathroom and get something to eat.

 

“Don’t mind her. She’s still upset a house fell on her sister,” Brian said.

Joan bristled at the reference.

“I have no idea why you are here anyway. This is not your business,” she said.

Brian gritted his teeth.

“Mrs. Kinney, your son has every right to be here,” Carl interceded.

Joan huffed, but for once, remained silent.

“So did you find anything more useful?” Carl asked Brian turning the topic back to the situation at hand.

“I’ve got some people on the streets looking under rocks. Just need to wait and see what turns up,” Brian said.

“Well let’s hope that between your guys, and mine, we’ll get something solid before…” Carl’s words trailed off.

“Don’t even fucking think it Carl! Liam will be fine. He’s no threat to them. If these are pros like you said then they know they won’t get a fucking dime if they harm one hair on his head! Not to mention that I’ll spend the rest of my life hunting them down if he’s not returned to me unharmed,” Brian said with conviction. He had to be believable to pull this off.

Carl sent him a sympathetic look. He hoped he was right, but the odds weren’t in their favor. Kidnappers rarely gave up their victims. If they didn’t kill them, they held on to them as long as they could keep squeezing money from the family. Still, there were those rare occasions where the victims were returned unharmed when ransom was paid. Carl hoped this turned out to be one of those occasions.

 

“Of course he’s going to be fine. I wasn’t thinking that. I was going to say I hope our boys find something before we get the next call,” Carl lied.

Brian grunted in response and Justin put his hand on his leg, urging him to sit down beside him.

Joan witnessed the intimate gesture and snorted in disgust.

In response Brian pulled Justin onto his lap and proceeded to plunder his mouth.

“Detective Horvath! Are you just going to stand there and let them…fornicate, right in front of us?!” Joan complained.

“It’s called kissing Mrs. Kinney, and it’s not against the law. If it bothers you, I suggest you look the other way,” Carl said.

“Well I never!” Joan huffed.

“Yeah, well that’s apparent if you thought that was fornication,” Carl said.

Before Joan could respond, officer Nichell rushed into the office.

“Incoming!” he said.

Brian pulled away from Justin; Carl reached for one of the phones on the desk and motioned for Joan to pick up the other phone.

“Don’t say anything to tip them off that you’ve involved us. Got it?” Carl asked Joan.

Joan staunchly nodded her head.

“Good, now on three, pick up,” Carl said.

Carl counted down and Joan picked up the phone.

“Hello.”

“Mmom,” Liam’s voice came over the receiver, strong and steady.

Carl looked over at Brian who was now standing behind Joan. He mouthed Liam’s name to him. Brian’s face remained passive.

“Liam?” Joan answered.

“Yyes Mmom. It’s mme,”

Joan put her hand to her throat, “Thank the Lord Jesus!” she said.

Carl quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper and pushed it towards Joan. She looked down at the note.

‘Keep him talking’ it read. She took a deep breath and engaged her son.

“Liam, are you ok?” she asked.

“I’m ff..ine mmom. I cc..an’t tt..alk ll..ong. Ss..ome mmen haave mme. Tt..hey said to tt..ell yyou tt...hat if yyou dd..on’t go to tt..he tt..rain ssta..tion on Ww..est Cc..arson ss..street, tt..omorrow at nnoon aand bb..ring one and a hh..alf mm..million dd..ollars, yy..ou ww..on’t evveer ssee mme aa..gain.” Liam said.

“One and a half million dollars! That’s impossible! I don’t have that kind of money!” Joan screeched.

Carl, who was listening on the other phone, grimaced at Joan’s words.

“I dd..o. In mm..y ttr..ust ffund,” Liam said.

“Your trust fund is for your care,” Joan said not realizing how ridiculous and borderline psychotic she sounded.

Brian smiled to himself. He should have known Liam knew exactly how much was in his trust fund. Brian made sure that he got a copy of his statement every month. He didn’t know if Liam ever bothered to look at it. He had no need; he knew Brian would always take care of him, but apparently he had and that fact just made Brian even more proud, if that were possible, of his brother.

Carl was once again busy writing something down on a piece of paper. This time he picked it up when he was finished and shoved it in her face.

Joan’s head snapped back.

“But it’s just not possible!” she insisted to Carl, though Liam thought she was talking to him.

“It’s mm..y mm..oney!” Liam shouted and again, shock registered on her face. She never heard her son speak so clearly, and forcefully.

“I’ll pay it,” Brian mouthed to Carl.

Carl frowned at Joan and wrote down on another piece of paper Brian’s offer.

Joan sighed in relief, “Calm down Liam. Your brother will pay it,” she said.

There was silence on the other end. Carl surmised someone had muted the sound. A few seconds passed before Liam came back on the line.

“Tt..hey ss..aid oo..k. Bb..ut Brr..ian hh..as to cc..ome alone,” Liam said.

Joan readily agreed. “Of course! He’ll be there, don’t worry. Noon tomorrow,-the West Carson street train station. Don’t worry about a thing. You’ll be back home with me in no time.” she said.

‘Not likely you fucking cold hearted bitch,’ Brian thought.

Joan had conducted the whole conversation as if she were negotiating a business deal. It made him sick. Though he knew that in all probability she wouldn’t want to pay her own son’s ransom, actually witnessing her cold refusal made his stomach churn.

“Ggood. Ggotta ggo,” he said.

The line went dead.

“Nichell!” Carl called out as he hung up the phone.

Nichell came rushing back in, “Yeah Chief?”

“Anything?” Carl asked.

Nichell shook his head, “Sorry Chief, the line was untraceable,” he said.

Carl cursed and Nichell turned to leave.

“Nichell!” Carl called out again.

“Yeah Chief?” Nichell stopped and turned back around.

“Get this woman out of here!” he said nodding his head towards Joan.

“Excuse me!?” Joan sputtered outraged.

Carl ignored her. “I said NOW Nichell!”

Nichell sprang into action and grabbed Joan by her upper arm.

“If you’ll just follow me Ma’am,” he said.

Joan pulled away from his clutches and turned to Carl.

“You can’t throw me out! I haven’t gotten my son back yet!” She said.

“Yeah, well call a cop,” Carl returned.

Joan’s face flamed red, “Well we’ll just see what my lawyer has to say about this!” she said.

“You go get your lawyer Mrs. Kinney, I have a feeling you’re gonna need him,” Carl said then waved his hand at Nichell indicating he was done with her.

Nichell dragged an indignant Joan out of the office. Carl went to the door and shut it behind them then turned to Brian.

Brian raised a troubled eyebrow at the look on Carl’s face.

“You know why I’m good at my job?” he asked.

“Um… because you know when to take out the trash?” Brian quipped.

Carl laughed, though the sound was bitter. “Yeah, that too. But that’s not what makes me good. What makes me good is I know when to listen to my gut feeling. And right now, well…would you like to know what my ‘gut’ is telling me right now?” he asked cryptically.

Brian inwardly groaned. He should have known Carl would be suspicious. They knew each other way too long, and regrettably, too well. Carl may not have actual facts, but he knew Brian well enough to know he wasn’t innocent in all this.

“I would prefer that you keep any conversation between you and parts of your anatomy to yourself,” Brian said.

“ I’m sure you would. But I’m gonna tell you anyway. My gut’s telling me that I’ve been played,” Carl said.

“I think it’s more likely that your gut is telling you it needs to be fed again. I wouldn’t put too much credence on it’s rumblings,” Brian said.

Carl ignored his sarcastic comment.

 

“You knew your mother wouldn’t part with that money, didn’t you?” he said getting right to the point.

Brian folded his arms across his chest and stared at Carl, refusing to admit or deny anything. Justin walked over to the door and leaned against it, making sure no one interrupted them.

“You not only knew it, you were counting on it. It all makes sense now. Liam didn’t sound scared at all. One would think he’d be terrified. But he wasn’t. Not that I could tell anyway and trust me, I can always tell. Now, why do you think he was so calm about his current situation?” Carl asked.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me? Or should I confer with your gut? It sounds like the two of you have got it all figured out,” Brian said.

“Not all, but enough. I just want to know one thing- whose idea was the kidnapping- yours or the blonds’?” Carl asked.

“I have a name you know,” Justin said.

“Yeah, I know. It’s called trouble.” Carl said.

“This isn’t about him Carl,” Brian said.

“No, you’re right it’s not. Though I’m sure he had a hand in all of this. It’s a brilliant plan actually; I’ll give you that. I mean, how else could you regain custody of your brother? Sure you could have petitioned the court again, but that could take months. The only way to ensure immediate legal intervention was to prove that your brother was in immediate danger. What danger is more immediate than a kidnapping where the legal guardian refuses to pay the ransom? It’s willful endangerment at worse, aggravated neglect at best.” Carl said.

“Well that’s one theory Carl. A fantastical one for sure, but still…just a theory,” Brian said.

Carl scrubbed the back of his neck with his beefy hand clearly frustrated with the whole situation.

“What the fuck am I going to do with you Kinney? Lord knows I wouldn’t wish that woman on anyone. She is a danger to your brother, but how the fuck do you expect me to turn a blind eye to this!” he said.

Brian unfolded his arms and sighed, “Oh for fuck sakes, stop being over dramatic! I swear you put Emmett to shame! There is nothing to do. No one is asking you to turn a blind eye to anything. I’m going to get my brother from his kidnappers. I’ll take Justin with me for back up. You do what you have to do,” he said.

“Goddamn it Brian! What I ‘have’ to do is send a team in!” Carl bellowed.

“So send your team in,” Brian said then checked his watch.

“It’s nearly four a.m. I suggest we all get some sleep. I’ll hit the bank first thing tomorrow morning then we can rendezvous here around 10 a.m. and plan out the details. You do what you need to do Carl. All I’m going to do is make the exchange,” Brian said.

 

Carl slammed his hand against his desk, “Fine!” He bellowed, “But if the shit hits the fan, you’re on your own! I hope to God for your brothers’ sake, you know what the fuck you’re doing,” he said.

Justin pushed away from the door as Nichell started pounding on it.

“You ok Chief!” He yelled from behind the door. Justin let him in.

Nichell stumbled into the office, his firearm drawn.

“Nichell put that thing away before you hurt someone!” Carl ordered shaking his head.

Nichell looked back and forth between all the men in the room as he holstered his gun.

“Sorry Chief, I heard a loud banging noise,” he said.

“Nimrod, you hear me bang on my desk all the time! What did I tell you about drinking that high-test shit?? You need to switch to decaf,” Carl said.

Nichell’s face turned red, “Graveyard shift is a bitch Chief. I need the extra caffeine,” he said.

Carl snorted in response, “Well since you are so ‘alert’ and ready to go, I want you to escort Mr. Kinney to his home and stay with him until he returns here. I wouldn’t want anything ‘bad’ to happen to him. These ‘kidnappers’ are reckless and dangerous,” Carl said smirking at Brian.

Brian gritted his teeth. He didn’t need one of Carl’s rookies tailing him.

“Really Carl there’s no need to appoint me a babysitter. Even if I wasn’t perfectly capable of handling myself, and anyone else who comes along, I have Justin with me. No offense to Nichell, but Justin has combat training. If something went down, Nichell would only be in the way,” Brian said.

Carl gave Brian a pointed look, “Is that so? Hmmm. Well then I guess ‘boy wonder’ won’t have any trouble protecting both you and Nichell if necessary. Since he’s got all that combat training under his belt,” he said challenging Brian to deny him.

Justin laughed, “I know I should be offended, but strangely I’m not. Boy Wonder? It has a super hero feel to it, doesn’t it?” He asked Brian.

Brian grunted in response, not really appreciating Justin’s humor, but remained silent. He couldn’t contradict Carl’s reasoning since he painted himself into this corner. He was stuck with Nichell.

Carl smiled seeing that Brian wasn’t going to fight him on this.

“Good. Then we’re all agreed. Now get the fuck out of my office,” Carl said satisfied that he had won this ‘small’ battle. He’d take what he could get. It was painfully obvious that the odds weren’t stacked in his favor.

One Kinney was bad enough, but two Kinneys and a blond warrior working against him? Well that was a recipe for defeat if he’d ever seen one.

 

. . . . . . .

 

 

Brian stormed out of the station with Justin and Nichell on his heels. He walked up to his car that was parked out front and cursed at the ticket he saw shoved under his windshield wiper.

“Perfect,” he said, crumbling the ticket and tossing it aside.

“Hey! That’s against the law!” Nichell protested.

“Shut the fuck up Nichell and get in,” Brian said then rounded the car to the driver’s side. He opened the door and looked over at Justin who was standing on the other side.

“I guess it would be a waste of time going back for your car,” he said.

Justin nodded and opened the passenger side door of Brian’s car.

“Total. I’d be surprised if it were still there, and if it is, I guarantee it’s been stripped clean by now,” he said.

The neighborhood he met Brian in earlier was one of the worst in Pittsburgh. He doubted his car survived the night. Which was probably a good thing considering it could be traced if someone tried really hard. Horvath was being a prick, Justin had no doubt he was watching them like a hawk.

Brian nodded his head and got in behind the wheel. Nichell, who seemed oblivious to their conversation, slid in the back seat.

Brian eyed him through the rear view mirror.

“Nichell, if you’re going to spend the night at the loft with me and Justin you better be prepared to get fucked,” he said.

Justin chocked back a laugh as he buckled himself in.

“Hey that’s not funny! I’m just doing my job here! Believe me; I’d rather be in my own bed! My shift was supposed to end in a couple hours, now I’m stuck with you for the next several hours!” He said.

“I could always drop you off and pick you up before we head for the station in the morning,” Brian suggested.

Nichell shook his head, “As much as I’d like to, Chief will know in a heartbeat if I skipped out on my duty,’ he said.

Brian sighed and started the engine, “Ok then, but about the fucking…I wasn’t kidding.”

 

Brian would have laughed had he seen the look on Nichell’s face as he drove away.

 

…………

 

The next day…noon….The West Carson Street Train Station….

Brian looked around and cursed for the hundredth time, at his inability, (a word that was, under any other circumstances, banned from his vocabulary) to control this cluster fuck of a situation. He tried several times, unsuccessfully, to contact Liam last night. Unfortunately his brother wasn’t answering his calls; either that or he ran out of minutes on his prepaid cell phone. As a result, he was standing here holding a briefcase filled with a shit load of money in a train station that boasted a midweek noontime sized crowd with no clue as to what to expect.

Brian had hit the bank first thing this morning and withdrew the 1.5 million he had in a secret separate account (since his business accounts were still frozen due to their failed attempt to keep Joan from Liam’s trust fund) before he headed over to the police station. If Justin was surprised he had a ‘secret’ account, he didn’t show it. By now, Brian surmised, he was used to unexpected revelations when it came to his life. A secret past, a secret brother, secret business dealings, secret bank accounts….’Fuck’, Brian thought, when he stepped outside and looked at his own life he wondered how the fuck anyone put up with him. Being a man of mystery was one thing, but he was entrenched into the realm of obscurity! All that was changing now however and it was all the result, or fault, of one very hot, stubborn, arrogant, talented and persistent blond who, by fate, stumbled into his life. A circumstance Brian was eternally grateful for.

Brian eye’s sought out the subject of his musings - who was sitting on a bench several yards from him pretending to read a newspaper - and wasn’t surprised to see him raise his head to look back at him, as if he sensed his attention. Their eyes locked in silent understanding, each knowing they were in an unattainable position, neither liking having so little information to go on. They were flying blind on this one. He hoped they could help Liam pull this off without too much complication. As it were, complications abounded at the train station in the form of way too many undercover cops watching their every move.

He thought back to the meeting that had with Carl in his office this morning. What a fucking joke that was, he thought. He and Justin, with Nichell in tow who was complaining non-stop about his aching back – hey, no one told him to sleep on the floor outside the loft – arrived at the police station promptly at 10 a.m. (with suitcase of money in hand) to find Carl knee deep in maps of the train station, shouting orders to several uniforms. Other than the white van, they had no clues to guide them so they opted to adopt the ‘textbook’ course of action in apprehending kidnappers- which in simplest terms was Brian making the exchange while Carl’s men stood by casing the train station, looking for anyone, or anything that appeared suspicious and hoping they get lucky. It wasn’t much of a plan, but Brian was in no position to criticize. His own plan wasn’t much more concrete than that.

He had recruited his P.I.’s the night before, unbeknownst to Carl, who would also be casing the train station. They had a ‘virtual’ meeting via Skype, and came up with a best case/worse case course of action. They couldn’t get a hold of Liam so they had no clue as to what he was planning. The best they could do was run through a variety of different possible scenarios and plan for each one. There were, of course, over a thousand possible scenarios.

In a ‘normal’ kidnapping scenario, the kidnapper shows up, gets the money, then later calls and reveals the victim’s location. Carl was treating this as a normal kidnapping. Brian and his team however had information Carl didn’t, and that worked to their advantage. Whereas Carl’s men would be looking for any suspicious character or characters, especially anyone who approached Brian, they knew who they were looking for. Liam was both victim and kidnapper. How he was going to pull off ransoming himself was anyone’s guess. The only course of action they could take that might lead to success was to apprehend Liam before Carl’s men spotted him. And that was the challenge they now faced.

 

The crowd started to thicken as the lunch hour approached. Brian’s brow furrowed at the sea of people. … ‘how the fuck am I supposed to spot him in this crowd…’ he thought in frustration.

“Kinney- anything?” Carl spoke into his earpiece. He and Justin were wired, as were all the other plain clothed officers.

“Nothing,” Brian answered. He looked over at Justin who chose that moment to turn the page to the newspaper he was reading, a clear signal that he too hadn’t spotted Liam yet. The team had devised a series of non-verbal gestures to communicate with each other since they couldn’t risk wearing a wire Carl’s men could pick up on.

 

Carl started to say something else in Brian’s ear when a commotion erupted on the far end of the tracks.

“My baby, my baby, someone stole my baby!” A woman cried out.

Brian signaled this team to stay in place, knowing Carl’s men had an obligation to help the woman. Plus, he had to consider that the ‘woman’ might be a diversion Liam had planned; they needed to be prepared for anything.

“Fuck! Debroski! Get your ass over there and see what that woman is babbling about! For all we know, the kidnappers snatched the kid right from under our noses to prove a point!” Carl yelled.

Brian smiled at Carl’s assessment. Under any other circumstances, it was a smart call. A ‘real’ kidnapper, a shrewd one, might just pull something like this.

“Kinney, you stay put!” Carl instructed in his earpiece.

“You got it Chief,” Brian said.

Debroski approached the woman and flashed his badge. She was hysterical and wouldn’t accept the fact he was a ‘real’ cop, since he was in plain clothes, and to make matters worse, her hysterics were starting to draw a crowd.

“Motherfucker!” Carl yelled, “Kendal, Snyder, get your assess over there and help Debroski! If we weren’t marked before, we sure as fuck are now! If her kid is missing, we’ve now got two kidnappings on our hands!”

Brian almost felt sorry for Carl. He watched several plain clothes officer try to calm the woman down as the crowd grew bigger. A few had their cell phones out vide taping the scene. Brian curled his lip in disgust. Fucking technology turned humans into machines, he thought. No one approached the woman to offer comfort; instead they were all spectators – and film artists. He craned his neck to get a better view of what was going on. From his vantage point he could see that the woman was of advanced age. She had a shock full of grey hair, and was holding onto a cane. A dark brown overcoat covered her form. Brian couldn’t tell if she was a slight woman or not under that garment. He needed a closer look.

“I’m going in,” he told Carl.

Carl cursed, but he didn’t object. As far as he was concerned, this operation was totally blown.

 

“Please, please, my grandbaby was right here by me one minute then the next, he was gone!” Brian heard her, through his earpiece, cry to one of the undercover officers.

“Try to keep calm Ma’am, and give us a description of the child,” Debroski instructed.

The woman went on to give a detail description of her grandson, down to what color shoelaces he had on. Debroski turned and ordered the men to spread out and look for the kid.

“Oh, please, please, you have to find him!” The woman continued to wail.

“We’ll find him Ma’am, you just need to stay calm. What’s your name Ma’am, I need to see your identification,” Debroski said.

The woman, who was still crying, opened her oversized pocketbook, reached inside and started digging around. After about five seconds of an unsuccessful search, she swayed and fell against Debroski.

“Ma’am! Are you okay?” Debroski asked as he held the woman up.

“I need…water. Please, I feel sick. I need to use the bathroom!” she said.

“This way Ma’am, I’ll take you,” Debroski said.

Brian approached him, “You need help?” he asked, trying to look into the woman’s face which was now buried in Debroski’s chest.

“Leave him be Kinney. You stay visible, just in case,” Carl ordered.

Brian stepped back and watched as Debroski guided the woman over to the bathroom. He looked over at Shane, who was standing not too far from the bathroom, and motioned for her to get in there before the woman did. She pulled the hood of her sweat jacket over her head and dashed into the bathroom.

“Here you go Ma’am, I’ll be waiting right out front if you need anything,” Debroski said as he opened the bathroom door for her.

The woman pulled away from him, “I just need a minute,” she said tearfully.

“Don’t let her out of your sight Debroski!” Carl yelled into Debroski’s earpiece but the woman already turned and disappeared into the bathroom.

“She can’t go anywhere Chief. There’s no way out of that bathroom. No window. This is the only exit and entrance,” Debroski said as he let the door close again.

Carl snorted, “Isn’t that a fire code violation?” he asked.

Brian answered for Debroski, “Sure is. But public code officers are easily bought off Carl. You know that. And now the state has no money to rebuild the bathroom. Their fuck up is our advantage, so I wouldn’t complain,” he said.

Carl didn’t respond to him, instead he went on to instruct the other officers.

Brian walked over to wait with Debroski, ignoring Carl’s orders to stay put. He had a gut feeling about the woman in the bathroom. Several minutes passed, two more women entered, and three exited. All the time he kept Debroski engaged in conversation as he watched the women enter and exit the bathroom. Another couple of minutes passed when Shane sprinted out of the bathroom, brushing past them.

“Well if you do decide to retire from the force, I can always use another good P.I.,” Brian said, breathing a sigh of relief that Debroski didn’t give Shane more than a fleeting glance. He was waiting for the older woman, who had yet to emerge.

Debroski made a face, “Thanks for the offer Brian, but I’m done. I’m looking forward to me and the Mrs. traveling the country in our RV. I hear that…”

“Debroski, where is that woman! She’s been in there long enough, go check on her!” Carl yelled in their earpieces.

Brian and Debroski charged into the bathroom. It was empty. Debroski started checking the stalls. When he got to the last one he stopped and ran his hand through his hair.

“Ah shit Chief!” He said walking into the stall.

Brian came up behind him and put his hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh. Debroski turned around to face Brian. He was holding up a brown overcoat, and a grey wig.

“She was a decoy Chief. She must have come in here to change. I found her wig and coat,” Debroski said.

“God damn it Debroski! I told you not to let that woman out of your sight! She just strolled right out of there, right under your nose you moron! Did you open the door for her?!” Carl screeched so loud both Brian and Debroski removed their earpieces.

Debroski looked at Brian and blushed from embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry Brian, this is my fault,” he said.

Brian patted his shoulder. “It’s not your fault. These are real pros we’re dealing with, which gives me hope. Pros won’t be stupid enough to harm my brother. I still have the money, and now they have to prove to me he’s still alive,” Brian said holding up his brief case.

Debroski smiled his thanks and put his earpiece back in. Carl was still ranting.

“Yeah Chief, he’s here with me,” Debroski said.

Brian put his earpiece in, “I’m here Carl,” he said.

“Well la di fucking da! I told you to stay put! They might have tried to contact you and you weren’t there!” He yelled at Brian.

“Ease the fuck up already! There was no way they were going to approach me after we got marked, so stop whining. They came prepared, just in case the place was staked out and already had their getaway planned. We fucked this one up, but don’t worry, they’ll be in touch again. I’ve still got the money.” Brian said.

Carl snorted into the phone. “I don’t like this Kinney, not one fucking bit, do you hear me?”

If any of the officers listening in thought it odd that their Chief was speaking so rudely to the man whose brother was still in the kidnappers’ hands, they didn’t voice it.

Brian sighed, pulled the earpiece out of his ear and tossed it in the toilet. Debroski followed him out of the bathroom.

 

Meanwhile……

 

Justin remained seated on the bench, surveying the area for Liam. He had to be around somewhere, he just knew it. He caught Brian in his peripheral vision walking out of the bathroom with Debroski and turned his head. A smile played on his lips as he spied the overcoat and wig in Debroski’s hands. ‘Very clever Anne…’ he whispered to himself.

“I-it wa-was m-my i-idea.”

Justin’s head whipped back around with lightning speed at the sound of the familiar voice.

“Jesus fucking Christ you scared the shit out of me! How the fuck…never mind. It must be a Kinney trait. Your brother is fucking stealthy as shit too,” Justin said then threw his head back and laughed as he pulled Liam in for a hug.

Brian blinked several times as he spotted Justin hugging his brother on the bench.

“Liam!” he called out and started running towards him.

 

“Chief, Kinney’s brother is here!” Debroski informed Carl.

Carl immediately called in all officers.

Liam stood up to receive his brother. Brian dropped the suitcase and pulled his brother in and hugged him fiercely.

“Thank God,” he whispered in his ear. Tears stung the back of his eyes.

Justin watched the reunion, choking back his own tears.

“Brian, Chief is on his way. He’s sending an ambulance too. Your brother needs to be checked out,” Debroski said.

Justin put his hand up to stop Debroski from separating the two men.

“Give them a minute,” he said.

The other officers were now surrounding them, handling crowd control. One of them retrieved the briefcase and handcuffed it to his wrist.

“Ok people, shows over. Get moving!” Brian could hear one of the officers say.

He reluctantly pulled away from his brother to get a good look at him.

“Fucking Kinneys are always gorgeous no matter what shit’s going down around them,” he said.

Liam laughed.

“And modest,” Justin added.

Brian’s turn grew serious, “Are you okay?” he asked.

Liam put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, “I’m f-fine, B-bri” he said.

Brian smiled at him and pulled him in for another hug.

“Get out of my way! Move it!” Carl’s voice bellowed out over the crowd.

Brian groaned and pulled back from Liam to face the man.

“Horvath,” he greeted Carl.

Carl stopped in front of him, panting like a bull, “Kinney,” he returned, “I see you got your brother back AND managed to keep the money,” he said giving Brian a pointed glare.

Brian raised his eyebrow at him, “I guess your men scared the kidnappers off Carl and they forgot to take Liam with them,” he said.

Carl snorted and turned to Liam, “And what do you have to say for yourself young man?” he asked.

Liam gave him that same quirked Kinney brow, “T-thank y-you?” he said, but it came out sounding like a question.

Carl actually snarled, “And the woman?” He demanded.

“Wa-what wo-woman?” Liam asked.

Carl threw up his hands, “Fine. This case is over as far as I’m concerned! Paramedics are on their way. Get him checked out. And I’ll need a statement Kinney,” he said then turned to leave.

Liam looked to his brother, “A-are y-you m-mad?” he asked.

“Yes. But we’ll discuss this later. Right now you need to get to the hospital. You’ve been through a lot, you need to get checked out,” Brian said, his tone soft.

“NO!” Liam pulled back from Brian, “N-no h-hospital! I’m f-fine!” he said.

“Liam, please don’t fight me on this. I’ll feel better if a doctor looks at you, please,” Brian pleaded.

Liam folded his arms across his chest and shook his head, “I-I wo-won’t g-go b-back t-to M-mercy,” he said.

“Oh fuck no! Do you think I’d do that to you?” he asked.

“N-no,” Liam said, “B-but m-om wo-would,” he said.

Brian cursed, “Yes, she would, but I have Lucas at this very moment petitioning the court to revoke Joan’s guardianship and hand it back over to me. As we speak he’s pleading my case. Trust me, there is no way a Judge is going to deny him,” he assured his brother.

Liam’s face dropped. Though he was happy that he wouldn’t be under Joan’s care anymore, it saddened him that his mother turned out to be a heartless bitch.

Brian sensed, and understood, his brother distress, “Liam,” he said taking his hands in his own, “I love you. Always have, always will. I know it’s not the same as a mother’s love, we’ll never have that, but I promise you we’ll always have each other. And you know what? Our sister isn’t so bad either. We might actually come to like her,” he said injecting some levity into the situation.

Liam laughed.

“I love you too B-brian,” he said and Brian let the tears fall from his eyes at the almost flawless sound of his brothers declaration………

 

That evening, Liam was released from the hospital with a clean bill of health into Brian’s care. The judge had granted his request and he now had custody of his brother.

He brought Liam back to the loft with him and Justin and set up Gus’ room for him. Later, they would find better arrangements. Anne joined them around 8 p.m. for a late dinner.

 

There was still so much to sort out. Joan still needed to be dealt with, as well as Doctor Denno. Brian would make sure they each paid for the harm they caused his brother. Anne was right about Denno, he was drugging Liam to delay his progress. His speech and motor skills had improved tenfold in the short time he’d been out of the man’s care. Oh yeah, Brian thought, that man was going to pay dearly.

But before any of that could happen, the ‘family’ reunion needed to be dealt with, which he was actually looking forward to, and to having his sister be part of it- something Brian would have NEVER predicted in a million years. And then he had to make sure Liam was granted emancipation so that he could try living on his own…that part Brian tried not to think about. It scared the shit out of him, but it was what his brother wanted. Beside, Anne would be with him. Brian didn’t know what to make of that situation, but one thing was certain, she really cared for his brother. And Liam cared for her. They ‘worked’ well together, and he and Justin would do all they could to support them.

 

But for now, Brian was just happy to have his brother with him in his home with him and his partner. It was like a dream that he never dared dream come true.

 

 

Later that night, after they sent Anne home in a cab and put Liam to bed in Gus’s room, Brian turned to Justin and pulled him in his arms.

“Thank you,” he said.

Justin snuggled into him, “Hmmm….that was one amazing blow job,” he said.

Brian laughed, “Yes, it was, but I wasn’t thanking you for that,” he said.

Justin looked up at him, “Well you should,” he quipped.

Brain swatted his ass, “Twat,” he said affectionately, and then pulled him against his naked spent body tighter.

They laid like that for a while before Justin spoke.

“Bri?”

“Hmmm?”

“What were you thanking me for,” he asked.

Brian pulled back and looked at his blond.  
“For never giving up. For sticking by me. For trusting me. For putting up with all my bullshit. For loving my brother like he was your own. For chasing away my demons, and most of all, for breaking down my barriers and making me believe in love again,” he said then pulled Justin in for a soul-rendering kiss.  
When their lips finally parted, they were both dazed and out of breath.  
“Ditto…” Justin said.

Epilogue to follow?


	25. Epilogue

…..Six months later…..

 

Brian stepped out from the Maybach Landaulet and handed the keys to the valet.

“She’s new, so take good care of her,” he told the young man then placed a fifty-dollar bill in the top pocket of his ridiculously ostentatious green and gold jacket.

The valet eagerly took the keys- his mouth salivating to get behind the wheel of the rare beauty.

“You can count on me sir!” he said, “But, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you driving yourself?” he asked.

Maybachs, particularly this model, was a chauffer’s car. And with its’ hefty price tag, it certainly warranted one. However, Brian had yet to interview someone he trusted enough with his baby. He still couldn’t believe he had purchased the extravagant car, yet he refused to let another buyer have it after the mind-blowing fuck he and Justin had in the backseat – an incident, incredibly, he had to thank Emmet for. The pretentious queen –( and he referred to him as such with the deepest affection) - had recently been in a Maybach on his date with George Sickle, one of their clients, and couldn’t stop raving about the car, or the date for that matter.

Brian was in the market for a new car and decided to check out the German luxury car. BIG mistake. Being the big label queen that he was, he of course immediately fell in love with the car, so much so it gave him a hard on. One that Justin, who had accompanied him on his car quest, was happy to relieve him of in the back seat. It was the best fuck by far he’d ever had in a car. After that…he was had. To the tune of $375 thousand dollars! Oh well, he thought, it was a small price to pay for the memory….

Brian eyed the eager young man in front on him and noticed the way he was ogling his car. His eyes hungrily devoured the black beauty. Brian reached into his pocket, pulled out his business card, and handed it to him.

“Call me,” he said.

The valet’s head whipped around to stare at Brian; a new hunger now gleamed in his eyes. Brian silently cursed.

“Not for a fuck, for a job,” he clarified.

“Oh…Yes Sir, I will Sir!” The young man said taking the card. He then slid in behind the drivers’ wheel and drove away. Brian turned, smiling, and bounded up the steps to the building.

He was late, but then again, he usually was to these affairs. However, this one particular affair was special and there were two blondes now in his life who would have his balls, and not in a positive life affirming way, for his tardiness. The first, yet least concerning to him since she’d long time ago grown accustomed to his foibles, was currently standing at the Gallery’s entrance glaring at him. Sidney Bloom, owner of the Gallery, stood by her side as they greeted their ‘by invitation only’ guests.

Brian walked up to Lindsey and placed a conciliatory kiss on her cheek.

“You are looking positively ravishing this evening,” he crooned in her ear then turned to shake Sidney’s hand.

Lindsey let out a small choked laugh, “I’m not the one you should be appeasing,” she said.

Brian raised a brow at her but was prevented from responding when Sidney grabbed his hand, “Brian! So glad you could make it,” he said giving him a hearty handshake.

Brian returned his handshake with a wry smile. He was astutely aware that the enthusiastic welcome was fueled by expectations of the shit load of money he would be spending tonight.

“Don’t worry Sid, I brought my checkbook,” he said then released his hand.

Sidney had the good manners to blush. Brian turned his attention back to Lindsey.

“How pissed off is he?” he asked.

Lindsey wore this Cheshire grin that Brian couldn’t quite figure out.

“Oh, he’s not so much pissed, as he is anxious. He’s been waiting for you, and I might add, causing some mischief in his impatience,” she said.

Brian was about to question her when he heard his son call his name.

“Daddy! Daddy! You’re here!” Gus yelled as he came barreling through the doors.

Brian picked his son up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Yes, I’m here!” He returned just as enthusiastically; Lindsey’s words now making sense. His son was anxiously awaiting his arrival.

Gus laughed and wiggled down out of Brian’s arms.

“Come on Daddy, you have to see it! We’re famous!” Gus said grabbing his fathers’ hand.

Brian cast Lindsey and Sidney an apologetic look.

“Apparently, I’m needed elsewhere,” he said before letting his son drag him away.

Gus maneuvered them through the throngs of people mulling around, bumping into more than one patron on the way, to the back area that hosted the ‘emerging new artists’ exhibit.

He stopped in front of a large illuminated painting.

“See Daddy, that’s us! Justin painted us!” Gus informed him proudly as he looked upon the exquisite artwork.

Brian stopped and stared at the painting before him. His breath caught in his throat. It was them. Though how his son knew that, was a mystery to him.

Brian was still in awe that Justin had managed to get a few pieces ready for this exhibit. Between his fundraising work at Mercy Hospital, attending classes at PIFA, training the new recruits at Private Dicks, and of course, his number one priority, fucking and getting fucked by him, he couldn’t imagine where he found the time to paint. No less paint something this brilliant!

Brian took in the hodgepodge of abstract lines and colors titled ‘True Love’ and wondered how his son came to the conclusion that it was a painting of them. Oh course he was right, Brian immediately saw it too, but he was surprised Gus made the connection. Justin couldn’t have told him. He never revealed his interpretation of his work. He didn’t want to influence peoples’ reaction to his art. He believed that art was subjective and that his intention wasn’t important – what was important was how others viewed it so it became more personal to them. That theory was coming into play at this very moment. His son, apparently, saw the painting as a representation of them.

“It’s certainly beautiful Gus, but what makes you think this painting is of us?” he asked.

His son rolled his eyes – the act was so ‘Kinney’, it made him smile.

“Daddy! Look here,” he said as he pointed to one particular splatter of color.

“That’s the color mauve! That’s me! Justin knows it’s my favorite color. He say’s it’s dig-nee-fied!” Gus boasted jubilantly.

“Ah,” Brian said eyeing the picture, “So which color is me?” he asked.

Gus pointed to the greenish brown swirls that dominated the painting.

“That’s you daddy! It’s the same color as your eyes and see how it’s all around me? That’s you hugging me!” Gus explained.

Brian was totally impressed with his son’s analysis of the painting.

“I do believe you’re right Sonny boy. You truly have an artist eye,” Brian said smiling down at his son. Gus beamed at his fathers’ praise.

“Jus’ say’s I’m a natural! Oh Daddy, Jus is the bestest artist here!” He proclaimed then lowered his voice, “I don’t like any of the other paintings,” he admitted making a sour face.

Brian laughed and scooped his son up in his arms, “Neither do I Sonny boy. I agree with you, ‘Jus’ is the bestest,” he said.

His heart couldn’t be more full at that moment. The person he loved most in the world, his son, was crazy about the second love of his life. The man he chose to spend the rest of his life with. His ‘Jus’.

Brian kissed his son, ran his hand through his hair, mussing it a bit, then put him back down.

“Now go find Gram and tell her to get you some real food. I’m sure you’d much prefer a peanut butter and jelly sandwich over liver pâté and orange marmalade canapés,” he said.

Gus screwed his tiny face up, “Can of peas? No wonder they’re so yucky! I hate peas!” he said.

“No, can of peas, canapés,”he started then sighed when he saw the look of confusion on his son’s face, “Never mind. There’s Gram over by the painting of the lady with the hat. Tell her I said to make me a sandwich too. I’m not too fond of the ‘can of peas’ either,” he said smiling at his son.

Gus laughed then turned and ran towards his Grandma Deb. Brian watched him run off with fatherly pride. There wasn’t much he’d done in his life he was proud of, but having Gus was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And if that miracle wasn’t enough, the fates that be blessed him with another miracle in the form of one very hot blond.

 

As if conjured up from his thoughts, the object of his musings encircled his waist from behind.

“You’re late,” he said.

“I was just thinking about you,” Brian said as he grabbed a hold of Justin’s wrists and pulled his arms tighter around him.

Justin snuggled up against his back and placed a kiss on his shoulder.

“That doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re late to my first showing,” he said.

Brian looked over his shoulder at him.

“Something came up,” he said.

Justin met his gaze with suspicious eyes,

“Something as in…”

“Yip,” Brian said turning around to face him.

Justin’s jaw dropped, “Oh my God! You’re serious? It’s official?!” he asked, his voice matching the exuberance Gus displayed over his painting.

Brian pulled Justin in for a hug, “It’s official. We are now the new owners of the old Bathhouse that, God help me, I can’t believe I use to frequent regularly. Did you notice all the cum stains Sunshine? I don’t envy you. You got your work cut out for you, turning that den of debauchery into some semblances of a respectable business.”

“It’s advertising, I do believe a touch of debauchery is required,” Justin said impishly then shook his head half in wonder, half in disbelief.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going through with this! I’m so proud of you. You know, you’re going to be fucking brilliant, don’t you?” he said.

Brian snorted, “Or make a complete fool of myself. I also enrolled at Carnegie Mellon. I already have my Business and Marketing degree, I’m adding on some Advertising courses,” he said.

Justin gave him one of his dazzling smiles, “Perfect. I signed up yesterday for a Graphic Designs course. By this time next year, the building should be completely renovated and ready for the launch of – what the fuck are we going to call it?”

Brian pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek in thought, “Hmmm…Something hot of course. Sex sells after all,” he said.

Justin looked at him pensively, “True. Our first introduction into the Ad world has to make a statement. It needs to be sizzling hot.”

Brian graced him with a sexy smirk, “How about we just run promos of us fucking? I can see it now, right in the center of downtown Pittsburgh, a life size billboard of us naked, engaged in hot angry sex, with a caption that reads …

‘Britin. The agency that knows how to fuck the competition’,”

Justin laughed heartily. He could just imagine Brian being bold enough to make a grand entrance into the advertising world in the most blatantly sexual manner.

“I think the FCC might have issues with such an add. Too pornographic even in today’s market. Britin however is….”

“Is hot as fuck, like us. You like the name?” Brian asked a little nervously.

“I fucking love it! And now that I think about it, I believe your concept could make it past the censors if we strategically shoot it from the side so no sex parts are actually showing, and change the word ‘fuck’ to ‘screw’”, Justin paused as his mind raced and his eyes widened.

“Oh my God Brian?! It really could work! We are sooo going to be great at this!”

Brian pulled his blond against him. “You just might be right Sunshine. Sex is our forte’. Speaking of….all this advertising talk is making me horny.”

“Hmmm…there’s not much that doesn’t make you horny,” Justin replied, his tone growing low, and husky.

 

“H-hey you t-two. G-get a room,” Liam said.

The familiar voice washed over them like a cold bucket of water. “Later,” Brian whispered into Justin’s ear before turning to face his brother.

“Liam, I’m impressed! Is that Armani you’re wearing?” Brian asked as he pulled his brother in for a hug.

“Anne p-pick it out,” Liam said.

Brian released his brother and leaned over and kissed Anne on the cheek.

“Looking beautiful as ever Anne,” Brian said.

She and Liam had been living together now for the past two months and from all accounts and appearances the arrangement suited them both.

“Thank you Brian, and of course, it goes without saying you look gorgeous as ever,” Anne said.

“Of course,” Brian replied tongue in cheek.

Justin laughed and slapped his arm lightly, “You know a little modesty wouldn’t kill you,” he said then greeted both Liam and Anne with affectionate hugs and kisses.

 

“I’m so glad you two could make it!” Justin said as he released them and stood back by Brian’s side.

Justin and Liam had grown really close over the past few months. Ironically it was Justin who Liam came to for guidance. Though Brian and Liam were very close, sharing a bond that was unbreakable, once Liam was granted emancipation that bond did little to stop them from bunting heads on more than one occasion. The brothers fought – a lot. They were both thick headed and stubborn. In fairness, Brian was use to making all decisions for Liam. He was having a hard time letting go. Liam wanted to live his life on his own terms – make his own mistakes. When he needed advice or help, he found it easier to go to Justin; Brian’s idea of help was ‘fixing’ it for him. Liam didn’t want his brother fixing things for him anymore; he wanted to do things on his own.

“We’re sorry we’re late. We had to take a little detour,” Anne said. She and Liam exchanged nervous looks.

Justin automatically put a firm hand on Brian’s arm and squeezed in warning.

“Oh?” Justin said calmly.

“What the fuck happened?” Brian said.

“Bb-rian, ss-top. I’m ff-ine.” Liam warned.

‘Fuck!’ Justin thought. Here they go again.

“Why the fuck can’t you just answer a question straight?! Why is it always a contest with you?!” Brian shot back at him.

“Brian…” Justin started but was startled into silence by Liam’s laugh.

“You know tt-there was a tt-ime you would never tt-alk to me like tt-hat,” he said.

Brian’s anger deflated and a smile found its’ way to his face. He pulled his bottom lip in and studied his brother. A full grown independent man, standing right there in front of him, giving as good as he got. He couldn’t be prouder, yet, he a small part of him felt a loss.

“And there was a time you trusted me,” he said. There was no mistaking the hurt in Brian’s voice.

Liam grimaced at his brother’s pain. It was his own, “Bri, I’m ss-ory. You know I tt-rust you. I wouldn’t bb-e the man I am tt-oday if it wern’t ff-or you,” he said.

Brian snorted, “Bullshit. You’re the man you are today, ‘despite’ me”, he said and the truth of it suddenly hit him. He’d been so overprotective of his brother and as a result, he’d been holding him back. ‘Fuck’, he thought. He hated these ‘light bulb’ moments – and when the fuck did he start using ‘Oprah’ references?

Liam started to protest, but Brian held up his hand.

“No Liam, it’s true. I haven’t given you much room to breathe. I was smothering you, yet somehow, you managed to become the independent man you were always meant to be, despite my interference. I can’t promise I won’t always worry about you, because I will, but I can promise you that I will respect your choices from now on, even if I don’t agree with them.” He said.

Liam’s eyes welled up. He reached out and pulled his brother in for a hug.

“I love you,” he said clearly and Brian’s heart soared. He hugged his brother back.

Liam pulled back and smiled at him, “Remember tt-that when I tt-ell you where we were,” he said.

Brian’s brow furrowed.

“Why don’t you two go talk somewhere private while Justin shows me his paintings,” Anne diplomatically suggested.

“It would be my pleasure,” Justin said taking Anne’s arm. “Why don’t you go out to the garden and check out Owen’s metal sculpture. It’s stunning,” he added then turned and guided Anne towards his exhibit.

 

Brian had a bad feeling in his stomach. He grabbed Liam’s hand and walked him outside to the garden. The found a bench not far from the sculpture.

“Are you in trouble?” Brian blurted out as soon as they were seated.

Liam shook his head, “No. You worry tt-o much.”

Brian snorted, “Maybe I wouldn’t worry so much is you weren’t so secretive. Tell me what’s going on.”

Liam took a deep breath, as if fortifying himself for what he was about to say.

“I wa-went tt-o ss-ee m-mom,”

Brian noticed his stuttering got worse. It always did when the subject of their mother came up. Mainly because Brian refused to speak of the woman.

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, “I’m assuming she’s still alive,” he callously threw out.

Liam didn’t flinch. “Yy-es,” he said.

He was use to his brothers deep disdain for their mother, and in truth, he didn’t blame him. But his experience with their mother was very different than Brian’s. Joan, up until she gained custody, had been the doting mother to him for years. Never missing a visit. Always showing him affection. An affection, she wasn’t able to show her other son. He resented his mother for not loving his brother. He could not forgive her for that. Yet, he could not disown her completely. Liam’s heart and loyalty was first and foremost to his brother, but here was a part of him that could not deny his gratitude, and yes, affection for his mother even after all she did, to both of them.

“Liam, Joan is not my business anymore. I told you I don’t want to hear about her,” Brian said.

Liam took a deep fortifying breath. He knew his brother was going to fight him on this, but it was a battle Liam intended to win.

“I n-need a ff-favor,” he said.

Brian crushed his cigarette out beneath his Armani designer black derby shoe and turned to face his brother.

“A favor for you, or for Joan?”

Liam cringed back at the coldness in his brother’s voice.

“S-she’s v-very ss-sick Bri-ian. I w-want her out of tt-that pp-lace,” Liam boldly spoke his request.

Ironically enough, after Joan lost guardianship of Liam, Brian gained guardianship of her.  
Liam’s ‘kidnapping’ spurred an investigation into Joan’s care of Liam. Charges were filed against her for reckless endangerment and willful neglect. The courts deemed her mentally impaired and appointed Brian her guardian. Claire was going through a divorce and Liam had just gotten emancipated. The judge felt Brian was the logical choice. It was no surprise to anyone when Brian immediately placed her in a state home and washed his hands of her. Joan had no money, so the State accepted her. Technically though, Brian was still her guardian and the only one who could make decisions on her behalf.

Brian pulled his bottom lip in and studied his brother.

“She is getting the care she needs there,” he said.

“Tt-the ss-ame kind of cc-are tt-hey gave me,” Liam countered.

Now it was Brian who cringed. He snarled and turned away from his brother.

“She deserves to be there,” he said.

“N-no one dd-serves tt-o be tt-there. Bri…pp-please.”

Brian cursed under his breath. “Fine. I’ll make arrangements to put her in a better place. But Liam, promise me you won’t hold false hope in your heart. Years of alcohol abuse has destroyed her mind. Don’t let yourself get pulled into her hell. Remember, she created that hell for herself.”

 

Liam sighed sadly, “I know. Ss-till, ss-he has no one. Claire dd-oesn’t visit her anymore. Ss-he’s all alone.”

Claire, like Brian washed her hands of their mother. What she did to Liam was the last straw for her. She was making major changes in her life. Divorcing herself from her mother, and her deadbeat husband was just the beginning. She, with Brian’s help, was going back to school to get her degree. Brian was proud of her, and happy to help. However, he had to admit that selfishly, he was glad Claire deserted Joan. He was still very bitter and angry with his mother. He felt ashamed he took such glee in Joan’s downfall. Liam was right, no one, not even Joan, deserved to be kicked when they were down. Liam suffered the most at their parents’ hands yet it was Brian who held the most resentment.

Brian wrapped his arm around his brothers’ shoulder and pulled him close.

“You’re a good son Liam. You deserved better parents. Joan is lucky to have you. You pick the place and I’ll make arrangements,” he said.

Liam smiled and hugged him back. “I love you,” he whispered into his brother’s ear and Brian hugged him tighter as he held his tears back……

 

Two hours later they were all leaving the exhibit. It was a huge success. Lindsey and Sidney made a shit load of money from commissions, including a hefty sum from Justin’s pieces. All his stuff sold. The first to go was ‘True Love’, which Brian had purchased upon Gus’s insistence. The abstract portrait of them would hang in his room at his moms house until Brian and Justin got their own place. It was already decided between them that they would sell the loft, keep Justin’s apartment for family visiting from out of town – mainly his mother – and purchase a bigger place together.

The family were all saying their goodbyes, and congratulating Justin on his success, and both of them on their new business venture. Debbie gushed over the news they were moving into together, Emmett insisted on helping them decorate both their new home, and ‘Britin’ offices, and Ben and Michael offered ‘relationship’ advise to which Brian made a face like he was going to through up, which was all their cue to high tail it out of there before they were witness to a full ‘Kinney’ queen out moment. Liam and Anne were the last to leave, making Brian and Justin promise to come next Saturday for dinner.

By the time Justin climbed into the passenger side of the Mayback, he was both exhausted and elated.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier,” he mused out loud as he rested his head against the soft leather seat, his eyes closed.

“Hmmm….hold that thought until I get you home. I think I can up your joy level, not to mention other parts of your anatomy once I get you in bed,” Brian said as he put the car into drive.

Justin peeked over at him, but said nothing. He just basked in the sight of his lover. Strong, beautiful, his…..“Did you ever think…” he said suddenly, his tone very serious.

Brian cast a weary glance at him. “Honestly? No. I would have scoffed in the face of anyone who would have told me a year ago that today, I’d be sitting next to the most beautiful man, thinking about our future. And I’m not just talking about the long hard fuck I’m going to give you tonight,” he said tongue in cheek.

Justin laughed and turned to look out the window, “Yeah, well first things first,” he said then paused and bit his bottom lip. “Does it scare you?” he asked.

Brian drove in silence for a few minutes before he answered.

“Yeah, it does. It scares the shit out of me. For years I walled up my heart. Only letting my son and my brother in. And even with them I was a little guarded. I didn’t think I was capable of loving ‘properly’, if that makes sense. Between my parents and Conrad, I figured my views on love were too skewed to be reliable. I never trusted myself to be a good father to Gus. Oh, I tried, but I relied heavily on Linds and Mel to do the ‘right’ thing. Same with Liam, I trusted that fucking Doctor too much. I thought other’s new best. I wanted so many times to pull Liam out of that hospital, to at least try to get him to be more independent, but every time Liam or Anne broached the subject, I let Denno talk me out of it. I thought I was being selfish in wanting my brother with me. And everyone time I listened to others, it hurt, it always fucking hurt. So I built these walls around my heart…not only to protect me, but to protect those I cared about. And men…well, you know how I felt about opening up my heart to men. But then, you came along, like a fucking jackhammer and broke down all my walls. So if I’m a sentimental fag at this point in my life, it’s your fault!” he said.

Justin looked back over at him and placed his hand on his thigh.

“First, you are an amazing father and brother to Liam. Always have been and if you ever doubt that, both would be all too happy to prove you wrong. And second, if I broke down any walls you had up, I’m glad. But I’m more glad that you broke down mine. God Brian, if it weren’t for you, I’d still be living with all that fucking baggage I was carrying around. I would have never found out about the traitor in my own unit, or about Hobbs innocence…”

“Well that’s all over now. And we’re together,” Brian said interrupting Justin’s train of thought. The last thing he wanted was for his blond to be thinking about his ex when he was about to fuck his brains out.

Justin exhaled loudly and smiled. “Yes, we are. And we’re about to embark on a new adventure. A new business, and a new house! Fuck Brian, do we really need a new house? The loft is fine, and there is a room for Gus there. Maybe we should rethink this. It’s a big expense, and we’ll need the money for Britin.” he asked turning their talk to more pleasant things.

“No, we need a new place. I have the money, I’m rich remember? Besides that you’re going to need a space to paint. You are too talented to not follow that path. When you’re not working at our new advertising agency, I want you painting. Eventually, that’s all you’re going to be doing. You are that talented, so don’t argue with me. But more importantly we’re going to need more space for the new baby.”

Justin felt like several hours passed as he starred unblinking at Brian, trying to decipher his words. Brian continued to drive, eyes on the road, with a smirk on his face.

“Baba..bay?” Justin finally answered, not even bothering to address Brian’s assessment of his talents, and his goals as far as his career as an artist went.

“Channeling Liam are we?” Brian quipped.

Justin snapped out of his haze and slapped his arm, “Shut up and answer me,” he demanded.

Brian laughed, “Shut up AND answer you? I’m not a ventriloquist, Sunshine. Make up your mind, do you want me to shut up or answer you?”

Justin growled in frustration, “I swear to God Brian….!”

Brian held up one hand in surrender, a smirk still playing on his beautiful mouth.

“Ok, I give. The baby Justin, the baby. You remember, the one you thought you’d never have? That baby. We’re, as in you and me, are going to find a surrogate to carry our baby. Gus has been asking for a little brother. I think it’s time we worked on that.”

Justin sat up in his seat and turned his body towards Brian, “I never said…”

“Yes you did Justin. That first week we met. After we caught Riker, remember? Dumpster boys’ killer? You fell and got hurt and ended up spending the night at the loft. It was your first night there. I showed you a picture of Gus. You told me then you wanted a kid.”

Justin’s jaw dropped open, “I never said anything about wanting a kid!”

Brian looked over at him, “Yes you did. You said it all in your eyes. Unless I read you wrong. You tell me, did I?”

Justin was caught off by the question. He thought back to that night. That fateful night. It was the first time he realized how much he wanted Brian, yet also believed at the time it was impossible for them. Since, he found out there was nothing impossible when love was involved. And that included having a baby with the man he loved. Was Brian right? Had he always longed for a child? A family?

Justin lay back in the seat as he Brian pulled on their street.

“Brian?”

Brian parked the car and turned to Justin, “Yes?”

“Stop making decisions for me.”

“Ok.”

“Brian?”

“Yes Sunshine?”

“How do you think Gus would feel about a little sister?”

Brian sighed dramatically, “I don’t know Sunshine. We might just have to keep trying until we get a boy. You know how demanding my son is,” he said as he exited the car.

 

Justin followed Brian out of the car and up to their loft.

“No more demanding than his father,” he said.

 

And Brian proved just how demanding he was over and over that night. There was no more talk of businesses, babies or careers. There was just them, together, raw, exposed.

Broke Open.

Each swimming in the abundant love that flowed from that space within that had been locked up for so long.

The End.


End file.
